People Who Have Watched Someone's Sanity Slowly Deteriorate Share Their Stories
Perhaps the hardest thing about watching someone's mental health deteriorate is the inability to say good-bye. If the person was someone you knew well, it can be so terrible watching the individual you once knew slip away that you don't even think about telling them how you truly feel until it's too late.
Then, unfortunately, that person you once knew is no longer there.
Reddit user, u/DestroyedbymybigPP, wanted to know:
Protect Adults From The Internet
My mom started going to online blogs and web-radio shows about ghosts, aliens, conspiracies and took it all at face value. I saw my normal mom turn into a complete, gullible ignoramus in a matter of months. Nobody could talk to her without her bringing up FEMA death camps, potential economic collapse, aliens, antivax or Obama signing more executive orders than any president in history. Her friends thought she might have a brain tumor. She didn't.
She did have cancer she was hiding/ignoring that ended up killing her bc she thought cancer wasn't real. This is what happens to lonely people that are looking for a connection...they'll believe anything just to feel that they are a part of something. It was very sad that she was so unbearable the last couple years of her life.
My (ex) best friend over the course of this past year has gone from a normal - well adjusted woman who held down a full time job and a VERY nice apartment to constantly being online and talking about how humans are just slaves to an alien race that lives on mars and how reality doesn't exist and If she died none of it would matter because reality doesn't exist...
I don't talk to her anymore because if I said anything in opposition, she would lose her sh-t on me... very different from the kind, compassionate woman I was best friends with for 4 years. I miss her every day.
Disclaimer: I know she's doing well, she has a great familial support system and other friends that agree with her beliefs, I just couldn't be one of them anymore.
We can't force someone into help if they don't want to be helped.
Still Going Strong, But Maybe She Shouldn't Be
My grandmother as she went into alzheimer's. Use to be very active in the community and always helpful. When I was young remember doing meals on wheels with her for the old folks around town along with helping/hanging at the senior center.
Now she barely remembers who I am or where she is. Even so much as to lash out at people. I wish to have my grandma back I basically grew up with due to my mother working so much to take care and raise us. She is a shadow now of her former self and can't even hold a convo or even move out of her bed. She now is taken care of by family 24/7 which is so far away from the independent person she use to be. Never asking for help but always offering it.
Still going at 93 right now but not the same person I know. Sometimes I consider her already passed as she is so far away from what she use to be. Guess it is how we all go in the end...
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
I'm a nurse and I had this patient once who was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We came everyday to help him get dressed and cleaned up and everything. His wife told us he was a very well educated man who cared a lot about how he looked. He used to shave every day. So I handed him his razor and his shaving cream one morning. He just looked at me and said 'what am i supposed to do with this?'
He didn't remember how to do it. I will never forget how he looked at himself in the mirror, it was like he didn't even recognize himself
He went to a hospice a day later and he didn't even understand why.
An Obsession Becomes Unhealthy
I was in high school and my best friend went from a normal guy who we would smoke occasionally, listen to music and have fun. It went to this obsession with a girl that clearly has no interest in him. He would literally stalk her, try to win her over. At the same time, he wasn't keeping up with hygiene and went from a decent student to a poor performer.
I told my parents everything that was going on. His parents were extremely well educated but weren't doing anything about his behaviors. My parents talked to his and they took it serious after hearing about the thoughts of self harm. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Nearly 40 years later, he still doesn't look the same. Really sad situation. I still miss him.
Challenging When It's Your Own Father
My father. Whole family suffers with mental illness, this combined with his rough childhood made him a generally slightly unstable person. He was prescribed the wrong meds, for depression and the minor issues we were having progressed over 9 months to mania and psychosis, having episodes which would have to call the police. Couldn't get help and he ended up moving out after breaking my nose and not remembering.
I've been through a lot but those 9 months were some of the worst because I could do nothing but watch as I was just a kid and had to watch the father I love turn into a horrible person who I hated but pitied at the same time. He become verbally abusive, imagined things, and forgot everything, very confused with life and forgot most things, making up stories where he didn't remember. Not only was it his downfall but also the downfall of the family
A Little Different Each Time
When I was 15, I had this boyfriend that had a disease which made his mind and memory deteriorate as well as physically his joints stopped working (I don't remember what it's called...) I remember watching him go to surgery constantly.... And it felt like with every surgery, and with every dosage of pain meds he got angrier and angrier.... And loved me, and life, less and less.
Staying Strong For Years, Until You No Longer Can
My grandma...she grew up in a pretty poor area in Portugal, her and my grandfather built a restaurant from scratch and it became very successful.
Now she's almost 90, battled cancer and now has Alzheimer's. My grandfather passed away last year, and now she's all alone (my aunt that lives in Portugal takes good care of her), but what's really breaking my heart is when we call and she will repeat the same things over and over again, she was an amazing chef and the restaurant became popular because of her meals, and now she tried to fry yogurt as she thinks that's how you do it.
She cannot remember basic tasks, and very recently she did not recognise my sister, which our grandmother raised for about 10 years.
It's sad, seeing someone so strong and full of life...forgot how to do basic things, our minds are amazing but once they go...f-ck man.
I watched my ex wife slowly spiral down and I didn't even realize it. She was never really "stable" and had a family history of mental illness. Apparently she started cheating on me and never had the strength to tell me or get a divorce and the constant lying and being on edge that I would find out at any minute really got to her (this was over the course of a year). Towards the end she would "rock" every time she sat and bit her nails till they bled. Currently she is maxed out on a host of meds and it takes everything she has to got to work as a janitor and come home. Her father is her "guardian" and helps her pay bills and stuff.
She often denies past events or alters them if they were unpleasant (she is very adamant that they are real). Her father broke down and told me this a month ago and actually recommend that I not encourage our kids to visit her (I would never prevent them from seeing their mother). So in the course of a of 5 years she went from a fit dental hygienist with a promising career and host of friends to an overweight janitor with no friends who can't even pay her own rent or buy groceries. I do admire her for going to work every day and trying.gimme3strokes
No More World Domination
Watched my grandfather slowly sink into Alzheimer's. By the end he didn't know my name or his own. He was sad and angry and confused. I watched every week as he forgot a little more. Got a little more belligerent. A little more lost. Until one day I walked in and he started screaming that someone was there to rob him. It was the saddest f-cking thing I've ever seen.
I have such vivid memories of watching him and my uncles have such animated debates about politics and movies and sports. They used to play Risk until the sun came up listening to Sinatra. He would sit and explain every single play in a baseball game to me as a kid. He was sharp as f-ck and the saddest and hardest part was watching the struggle on his face to remember. The frustration he felt. Like he was letting us down. I miss him a lot.
A Meteoric Descent
My younger brother died from a drug overdose last month. He used for the first time in march. In 7 short months I watched my best friend become someone I didn't recognize, someone I couldn't even hold a conversation with anymore. It wasn't a slow deterioration, it was a meteoric descent into a drug fuelled madness.
He lied about anything and everything, even things that made zero sense to lie about, used nicknames from our childhood that we hadn't used in years, would forget what we were talking about mid-conversation. It was like he was replaced with a near identical but slightly off version of my brother. It was and still is heart breaking. I mourn him but at the end I didn't know him anymore.
When It Takes An Illness To Form A Bond
My sister passed away earlier this year and she was sick for a long time. During the last few months you could tell that it was becoming harder for her to think and respond. Paradoxically it actually made her a lot nicer to me. We had never had a great relationship and I always believed she hated me but during those last few months she said very few unkind things to me. It was hard to know that the only time we ever really got along was right before she passed away.
From Thoughts To Scribbles
I worked in a care facility for people who suffer from dementia.
This was a very rewarding and enjoyable job but at times it could be confronting and sad, as you'd expect. One story that stuck with me was this lady who'd write in her booklet and always left it open. She didn't care to keep it a secret or anything but I would make sure to keep personal posessions private as much as I could while cleaning the rooms. So I'd close the little book and put it in her desk where she could find it.
It's something I could relate to. I have my own little books and enjoy writing as well and appreciate it when people respect my privacy.
I wouldn't read the contents but I saw the phrases go from sentences, to repeated words, to scribbles. Eventually, she became too confused to put pen to paper. Opening and closing the booklet, carefully touching the paper, but she couldn't quite figure it out anymore. Eventually giving up.
This really hit home to me, as I knew how therapeutic it could be to organise your thoughts on paper. I write when I'm sad or overwhelmed. The thought of her being unable to when she might have needed the outlet still stings.
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Oh, the things people say.
Sometimes you wonder if people have the capability to think before they speak.
It's an especially thorny issue in relationships.
Redditor Human02211979 wanted men to share about the things they're over women saying, so they asked:
"What's a phrase men hate hearing from women?"
I don't dabble with the ladies.
I feel like I'm about to be glad about that.
Thoughts?season 6 episode 24 GIFGiphy
“'Do you know why I pulled you over?'”
"It depends on how long you were following me."
"The food thing."
"'I'm not hungry or you pick... but not there not there not there not there or there.'"
"It's one of the most widely joked about relationship tropes... but it has to be one of the truest. I watched two married friends this weekend almost lose it over this lol."
"Frustrating for anyone in a relationship whose partner does this. I'm a woman and my male fiancée can't make a decision about food to save his life, almost literally. If you put him in a room with his 2 favorite foods and told him he can't eat until he chooses one, he would starve to death. It makes me freaking crazy."
Not Good Enough
“'They couldn’t handle me.'”
"Relationships are about building each other up, not constantly having to deal with the other person’s attitude or poor behavior/mental health. This is not as much of a flex as a lot of people think it is and raises major red flags for me."
"Dude this is so true, God *amn its true. These type of girls who say that are ONLY trouble and have no insight to why they act like they do. Its mental."
"'How can you not think anything, you must be hiding something.'"
"I mean sometimes it’s nothing but most of the time 'nothing' is just a random situation that makes no sense that I’m thinking of in my mind. I don’t know why I’m trying to think which animal would be the best drift racer and I don’t know where to start explaining the thought process behind it or how I even got there."
Say Nothingquiet tim and eric GIFGiphy
"'Do you like my friend?' Because it always ends up in an argument either way."
Oh that is a dangerous setup.
It's a Trapthe office no GIFGiphy
"'Tell me what you are thinking. Do I look fat? Be honest.'"
"'As a modern woman, you do not need a man to validate your self-image. Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself whether or not you look fat.'"
"Are you even listening to me, and I think to myself what a weird way to start a conversation."
"I sometimes forget that whenever my boyfriend is doing something like reading the paper, I have to get his attention BEFORE I start talking. Often ends in me talking for a minute before noticing an all too familiar blank stare on his face which prompts the question 'did you get any of that?' and then he repeats the last three words in an unsure cadence. Then I start from the beginning, lol."
“'How are you still single, you’re a great guy?' Hear it a bunch from some women friends of mine. I always just brush it off but kinda stings a bit more each time."
"I lived in a big house with lots of roommates. We had this big vent one night. We were going to go bar hopping but all the girls vented about how often they were bothered and hit on at bars. How they needed to go in groups to feel safe. And they never could go to just have fun with each other."
"2 weeks later I mentioned how frustrating dating can be at group dinner. There was a communal laugh about how easy it was. 'Literally just go to any bar.'"
Not my Owner
"Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn’t do this but don’t ever say you 'trained' your boyfriend or even friend to do something. Friendships and relationships are a great way to have a different perspective and take things on in different ways. To say you trained your friend or boyfriend is incredibly dehumanizing and makes you seem incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Plus, you didn’t 'train' your boyfriend to use conditioner, you just made him realize that even though he doesn’t think it’s significant in his value system, it isn’t worth the fact you keep bugging him about it."
Oh LordCome On Man GIF by IdentityGiphy
"'I was thinking...'"
"Whenever my wife says that means I'm gonna be doing something that I don't want to."
"And it's always 'I was thinking we should...' There's no WE here, just come out and tell me what I will be doing."
Know your warning signs gents...
Anything else anyone would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down What Their Life Would Be Like If They Married The Person They Lost Their Virginity To
The first time having sex can be wonderful or excruciatingly awkward.
Maybe there is an in-between there.
But more often than not, it's not a fairytale, and that person becomes a memory.
What if they stayed more than a memory?
Ever think about life with that person?
Fairytale or nightmare?
Redditor Pristine_Arm_898 wanted to know if anyone had ever played the what if game, so they asked:
"If you were forced to marry the person you lost your virginity to, how would your life be going right now?"
My first and I together would make no sense...
Cheers?Drunk That 70S Show GIF by PeacockTVGiphy
"I would be richer but much more miserable. I'd probably be trying to drink myself to death."
"I think it would have been just fine. She was/is a wonderful woman. But I wouldn't trade the 40 years I had with my late wife, including all the ups and the downs, for anything in the world. And when she left me, she left me with two wonderful sons and two fantastic grandchildren."
"Same here. I was with a person I loved and if it would go on it would be nice. We split because love didn't last and if it would, it should be just fine. Now I am in relationship i wouldn't trade for the previous big love. I'm happy where I am. No regrets."
"Not good. He was a sweet down-to-earth dude who turned into a massive a**hole after he landed an amazing job opportunity and his dad got him a flashy car. It's like he turned into the biggest douche overnight and then dumped me over the phone probably because he thought he was now out of my league. My heart was broken, but life goes on."
"I learned many years ago that he lost this high profile job, and because he got this job through nepotism and not because he actually knew what he was doing, he couldn't find the same type of job or at least work in the same field."
"He got recommended by a company to get a degree (which they would sponsor) so he could return to the industry but he refused because he was under the impression that he knows more than everyone yada yada."
"He did nothing about the situation and ended up working at a gas station where he still is now, all these years later. I can't imagine how someone with this attitude could be a good partner in life. I would have been miserable."
The Good Guy
"It might be ok, but not nearly as good as it is now. He’s a great person and I’m still in contact with him, but we weren’t meant to be together forever."
"This is how I feel too. He was/is a great guy. His family is awesome and all my family loved him. Sadly I didn’t! I got a lot of flack for breaking his heart, but after me, he met his now wife and they’ve got a lovely family. I met my now husband around the same time and we’ve got 3 kids. I think we both thought we were happy together but I’m glad we got a chance to realise we were simply contented."
ForeversSmooch Love GIF by molehillGiphy
"The same. We are married."
"Same here. We were quite young when we lost our virginities together 15 and 16. Been together for 7 years and married for 2."
Sometimes it's forever.
'Nienka'Confused Wile E Coyote GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"I’d be looking for my wife."
"Surprised I had to scroll this far down to find this response (assuming you mean what I think you mean)."
"A one night stand with a Dutch foreign exchange student. I woke up and she was gone. A note said 'Nienka' with a heart drawn underneath. That was more than half my lifetime ago."
"Probably would have been awesome for a year or two - she was a legit Penthouse centerfold girl. Guarantee she would have got bored with me and moved on pretty quickly. Then I probably would have gravitated back to the path I've been on for the last 40 years and ended up right where I am."
Seems to be happy...
"I’ve thought about this from time to time. She ended up getting engaged a few times but never married. Ended up getting pregnant from a sperm donor and has been a single mom by choice for the last decade. Recently she came out not exactly as transgender but more like non-binary. Seems to be happy. I honestly have no idea what would have happened if we’d ended up together. I didn’t and still don’t want kids so that may have been a stumbling block. Also I had severe wanderlust after graduating from university and ended up on the other side of the country."
"Not sure if I would have been interested in staying in our home town and I’m pretty sure she never had any interest in leaving. So… either things would have hit some major roadblocks and we’d have split up after a few years. Or maybe I’d end up comfortable and lose the desire to move away and maybe settle down and have kids. Unlikely though."
"The guy I lost my virginity to is Turkish, and we broke up partly because his mum hated my guts because he wasn't dating someone of their own religion, and then partly because I discovered he had a 'thing' for girls like Bella Poarch and who acted like her. So if I married him? I wouldn't know sanity if it smashed me in the head with a brick rolled in glue, then dipped in a bowl of razor blades and lemon juice."
Like A...Sexy Queen Of Pop GIF by MadonnaGiphy
"She married someone else. Divorced them, married me, divorced me when someone better off came along. So, if I was forced to marry her now, apart from the bigamy, it would mean I'd have to be a lot better off, financially, than I am actually am."
Sometimes that person is the best and worst.
The longer couples are together, the more creative they have to be to have quality time together.
But quality time isn't always what other people think it will be.
Curious about the deeply intimate moments, Redditor Glittering_Age_9045 asked:
"What do couples do when they shower together?"
"I have disabilities that make standing for more than 60 seconds (especially in a hot, humid environment like a shower) very painful for me, so my husband showers with me to help me get clean."
"He washes my hair, scrubs me down, and makes sure I'm all taken care of. Do sexy things happen?? Occasionally, but for us, showering together is an act of deep love and care. I appreciate him endlessly for it."
Greatest Form of Intimacy
"This is what showers and baths turned into for me and my husband as he approached the end. During our last shower together, I shaved his facial hair for him, and it was just very intimate. I knew I had to cherish that moment, even though I didn't know it would be the last one."
"We'd always joked to each other that washing each other's hair is the greatest form of intimacy (quote from 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'), even way before he got sick, but it really was true."
"Oops, now I'm tearing up at work!"
"We were both 30 when he passed, only four months ago. F**k cancer!"
"One says, 'This is so romantic,' while the other nods and shivers."
"I bought a shower chair, because if I'm gonna freeze, I'm gonna be comfortable. Then I bought a shower head with a stationary head AND an extended one."
"We talk about stuff, we play, we laugh, everything. It started during the pandemic when I was extremely depressed. I'd take a shower to cry away from the kids. Then he'd start taking them with me at night and just hold me while I cried."
"Now our showers are much happier."
How the Time Flies
"I awkwardly wait there while waiting for my girl to finish with her hair."
Water Temperature Disagreements
"My husband pretty much boils himself, it's crazy, and then he calls my regular warm water 'ice cold.' I love showering together but I do wish he would be a bit less of a hot water person."
"My husband walked in on me taking a bath the other night and the first thing he said was, 'Woah. It's super hot in here,' to which I, of course, replied, 'It isn't even that warm."
Hot Girl Problem
"You take your first shower together, and you realize your girlfriend is actually the spawn of Satan and connects with her homeland through the boiling of her own flesh until her mask has been washed away and her skin is as red as the devil himself."
"A milestone in every relationship."
"Spin in circles, making silly noises, while the other person says, 'Rotisserie chicken!'"
Unique Shower Set-Ups
"We have two shower heads. It is great. And seats built into each side. Came with the house."
"It is glorious to be able to sit down and relax with one shower running over your head and back while the second shower keeps your front and legs warm."
"But you run out of hot water twice as fast. SIGH. And every kid in the house insists on using the ensuite cause the shower is “better.” Can’t really disagree with their logic, to be fair."
"Shuffle round and round, taking turns to be cold and warm like f**king penguins."
Enjoying Each Other's Company
"10 years together, married a year, and lived together for about six years. We always shower together, and that’s where we catch up on each other's day, vent, or just talk and enjoy each other's company."
"Shower conversations are the best. My ex and I would end up just holding each other under the running water, talking about bills or plans or some such nonsense. I miss that. It was incredibly cathartic."
"My husband and I shower together every single day. It's not even sexual or romantic, it's literally for hygienic reasons. We started showering together when we were dating and it never stopped."
"Even when we're fighting, which forces us to talk about the issue. It's kind of nice being trapped in a small area with no other distractions."
"This made me remember the time my husband and I spent half an hour in the shower discussing whether or not lobsters are sentient."
While many people may think of two people to get into a shower together for far more intimate activities, these couples might argue that their showers together are already intimate enough. All aspects of a couple's relationship are important, but it's nice to set aside time specifically to talk and reconnect.
Cinema aficionados love to enjoy discussing and engaging in debates about their respective favorite films.
While there are many excellent movies in historical cinema, fans also enjoy trash-talking the absolute worst films ever made.
What they don't disclose, however, is the fact that they embarrassingly enjoy campy films and appreciate revisiting them behind closed doors.
Curious to hear about the films moviegoers secretly enjoy and appreciate while being cognizant of the fact that they're total garbage, Redditor HorsesSuck120 asked:
"What movie do you enjoy that you will 100% agree is a bad movie?"
Action movies don't aim to win an Oscar. Nevertheless, there's definitely an audience for them–even the really bad ones.
We Dig That One-Liner
"The Core. I’m paraphrasing here, but there’s a portion in the movie where everyone says it can’t be done; but one guy takes a drag on a cig and says: 'but what if…we could'. The entire movie progresses on that point."
Oldie But Goodie
"Flash Gordon was released in 1980, but re-released this year in 4K. Bad, but in the best way. (And that Queen soundtrack!)"
It Kept Their Afloat
"Deep Blue Sea. I mostly enjoy that one unexpected scene. Check it out!"
"Street fighter with Raul Julia as Bison and Kylie Minogue as Cammy."
"Oh, and a Samoan bloke as E Honda, because 90’s."
From Zero To 60
"Gone in 60 Seconds . Say what you will , but I can watch this everyday."
Campy films will always have a place in some moviegoers' hearts.
Dumb And Fun
"Fool’s gold. It’s a dumb movie that makes no sense but for some reason I go back and watch it at least once a year and enjoy it every time."
Can't Beat Funny
"Accepted. It's terrible and hilarious, has Justin Long at the peak of his teen movie years, and features Lewis Black as a version of himself as a jaded professor. So good."
We Love Ah-nold
"Batman & Robin is certainly a bad movie. I love it so much. It’s worth watching for Arnold and his puns alone. But the whole movie is just campy fun."
Sometimes we prefer the quantity of fantasy and animation films–regardless of quality.
"You know what killed the dinosaurs?"
"The ICE AGE"
"League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's so much fun and I love the Nautilus."
Wolverine Wouldn't Approve
"Van Helsing. It's Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale ala the glory days of 2004. It's got a 27% on rotten tomatoes,. 6/10 on IMDb but there's something about the dry jokes smattered in what's supposed to be high tension scenes, or scenes of sexual tension. The special effects aren't the greatest but at the same time it also adds to the experience."
Hands down, the worst movie ever made in my opinion has to be the campy 1995 erotic film noir Showgirls directed by Paul Verhoeven.
The trite premise and performances in the unintentionally comedic drama were so embarrassing to watch, but the movie wound up becoming more entertaining for those reasons.
Elevating the rewatchable factor of Showgirls is the DVD commentary by solo comedy performer David Schmader, who leaves plenty of repeatable quotes that are absolutely hilarious.
Highly recommended viewing.