Sometimes you just want to pack everything up and start over. It's not easy––when is it ever?––but why would you want to be stuck years later with a What if? nagging at your conscience?
"People of Reddit who, on a whim, sold most of everything they had, moved & essentially started an entirely new life, how has it gone for you?" was today's burning question from user knh2002.
"Clean slate."
GiphyBest decision I've ever made. It was an incredibly cathartic experience. Clean slate. In the beginning it was jarring and kinda lonely to have no "comfort" zone in any part of my life, but once I settled in to my new digs and started exploring my new city, I really embraced it.
"Our quality of life..."
Good. My wife and I have done this twice in the past 10 years. Sold the house, sold the business, and sold/donated a lot of the crap we had accumulated. Moved to a town where we knew absolutely no one. Then did it again. Sometimes change is good. Our quality of life is so much better now. We live somewhere we want to be, as opposed to just staying where we grew up.
"I did it."
I did it. I moved across the country (twice) and about to do it again. Some people told me I'd be back home in a year, but I made it work. I tend to be extremely lucky when it comes to finding living spaces I enjoy and can afford, so that has always helped.
The biggest thing I learned? First, I did it myself, relied only on myself. That was powerful. Second, I became so much more aware of even the little things both strangers and friends did that helped me. Sort of like a "thank you for seeing me" moment when there isn't anyone else.
"I've returned to my old life..."
I've returned to my old life as best I can, where I was originally.
I moved from a capital city to a town in another country. It didn't offer enough opportunities both professionally and socially. I was depressed.
"When I was 22..."
When I was 22 in 2004, I moved across the country from the SF Bay Area to the Boston area. I had met a guy who was relocating in 2 months and I decided to go with him on a total whim. We didn't know each other that well, I didn't know anyone where we were moving, I was just out of college, I had no money, and no idea what I'd do for work. I got rid of most of my stuff on Craiglist, packed what we could in my Corolla and did a cross-country road trip. It was tough at first because I had no job and my then-boyfriend did, so I was definitely lonely.
And we were getting to know each other while living together, so we had some pretty major adjustments to make. But we still live in Boston, we've been married for over 11 years, we have a 9 year old son, jobs we like, and a robust group of friends. He still has family in CA, but I don't. There are things we miss and it certainly wasn't easy at first, but this was very much the right choice for me and I'm grateful that I did it.
"Best decision I've made."
F*cking amazing. Best decision I've made.
I decided to move to CA when I was 26. I was working half my time there and while I really liked traveling, I also realized I had an opportunity to ask my boss if it was OK to move.
It'd be easy to spin the move as a money saving decision for the company since I wouldn't need to come back to corporate as often, maybe once a quarter. I could be much more effective if I was closer to where I was doing most of my work.
In the down side, I moved away from my brother and SIL and my one month old niece. I moved away from every friend I had. In CA, I had a single friend. But I decided to do it anyway because when else would I have an opportunity like it again??
I lived there for about three years. I met a woman, fell in love, got married, and was able to work from home. Life was great.
More recently we moved back to the Midwest. I have an awesome job that's the best I've had, and we are super happy.
Sometimes you've just got to do stuff for yourself. Sometimes it scares the sh!t out of you. I am an introvert and the thought of moving by myself across the country scared the shit out of me but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't try.
It is the most selfish thing I've done, but by far the most rewarding decision. I wouldn't change it for anything.
"Left the west coast of Canada..."
Absolutely sh*t. Left the west coast of Canada that I loved, where all of my family are, to make $100K/yr + good pension in Ontario. 6 years in Ontario and I regret leaving about 80% of the time. The money is good but money won't give me my 30s back. I'm single and bitter with a nice bank account. woo f*cking hoo.
"At the age of 40..."
At the age of 40 I married a beautiful 25 year old Australian woman ditched my home town of Chicago and emigrated to Australia and remain here to this day. No regrets, socialized medicine, no longer fodder for everyday mass shooters, far less crime than I grew up with, the list goes on. Life is good here.
"I did it years ago..."
I did it years ago and it was an amazing experience. About to do it again. This time I'm determined to relocate my family to Japan without me having to be an English teacher.
"I had to buy it all back again."
Terrible, but I guess it wasn't on a whim. I went back to school for a masters after working for a few years. It was clear that they were going to lay everyone off. They did, about a month after leaving.
I went to a church school and was ostracized by the faculty and students because I was older and unmarried. In the end I'm not sure that I'm making more than if I just kept working.
I sold all my furniture and a good part of things I wish I hadn't. I had to buy it all back again.
DQ: When did you last make a drastic life change?
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.