People Who Have Hooked Up With Their Friends' Parents Reveal How It Went Down

People Who Have Hooked Up With Their Friends' Parents Reveal How It Went Down
[rebelmouse-image 18353768 is_animated_gif=Talk about awkward... people share their hookup stories but involving sex with friends' parents. Just... no. Ok maybe.
sirferrell asked, Those of you who've actually had sex with a friends mom or dad, how did it go down?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
WTF dad?
[rebelmouse-image 18357969 is_animated_gif=I know a girl who cheated on her BF of 5 years with his dad.
She and the dad are married now.
No offense, but... Florida.
[rebelmouse-image 18357970 is_animated_gif=I got an IRL story like this. Dude I'm distantly related to was expecting a baby with his wife. Pretty normal.
He and wife start fighting. Wife tells him it's not his baby. It's... dun, dun, duh... his dad's. Dude doesn't really believe it, confronts dad, dad cops to it. This causes issues with dudes parents and they separate. Dudes separated from his wife. So... the wife and dad move in together.
Long story short, dude suddenly doesn't have a wife or family or child, goes on big alcohol/drug binge (we're pretty redneck down here). Lots of intoxicated driving. Dude gets in an accident and is killed.
Mom and dad reconcile while grieving, now Mom and Dad and Wife and a new baby all live together.
Welcome to Central Florida.
Women can be creeps too ya know.
[rebelmouse-image 18357971 is_animated_gif=Had sex with my mom's friends, pretty traumatic experience in all honesty.
She had always been the "cool mom" out of my moms friend group, hooked me up with my first job at a catering company she worked for, snuck me and my friends alcohol from time to time, etc. it was also pretty apparent her marriage was on the rocks for some time.
One night we were both working a catering event together that had an open bar, and she had quite a bit to drink and began flirting a little. She would ask me questions about if I had ever been with an older woman.
Fast forward to the end of the night she was my ride home and was too drunk to drive so I drove her car home to my dad's place, as soon as I parked the car she forced my hands on her breasts and started fondling.
I eventually caved in and proceeded to receive the most painful blow job of my life that left actual marks and awkward van sex.
Not quite the wild pool boy story, but I was hoping to shed some light on how ugly these scenarios can wind up.
He was the breathalyzer.
[rebelmouse-image 18357972 is_animated_gif=So he wasn't really a friend per se...
I used to buy weed from him in my mid-20s and he was about 20 and lived with his mom.
She was late 40s... Went by once and he was just leaving, his mom asked if I wanted to drive her to the bar. Turns out she had had a few and currently had a breathalyzer in her car... I knew I was getting laid whether I wanted it or not.
Anyway, fun night. Never went by there again.
There's an age of consent for a reason...
[rebelmouse-image 18357973 is_animated_gif=My friend's mom in high school went through a nasty divorce and his dad quickly married his much younger girlfriend. She began flirting with me a few weeks later and eventually it led to us hooking up. Over the following months I learned nearly everything I know about sex from her. I found out later that year I was one of several friends she'd been hooking up with. I was devastated as my young mind thought I was in love. It sent me into a pretty serious depression and f_cked up my views of sex since.
Please let me out of the car.
[rebelmouse-image 18357974 is_animated_gif=I didn't know he was her dad, he was just someone I was sleeping with but one night when we were out driving, we drove past my old high school and he mentioned that his daughter went there. I made the connection with the surname and asked, he confirmed.
And he learned Spanish!
[rebelmouse-image 18351649 is_animated_gif=I was 23 and she was 44. Her son and I were friends and in college together. She was 5'2", thin, really cute and originally from the Dominican Republic. She had always kind of flirted with me, but I just thought that's all it was. I was wrong.
A bunch of us got together and went out to have dinner on NYE, and she went with us. We all had fun and went back to her house. Her son and his girlfriend went to bed and before I was able to get out the door, she asked me to sit beside her, by the fireplace. She leaned her head on my shoulder and looked up at me and asked: "Do you want to?". Couldn't say yes fast enough.
She and I dated for two and half years. As a bonus, I learned a good deal of Spanish from her.
Some serious NSFW revenge.
[rebelmouse-image 18357975 is_animated_gif=Her daughter dumped me for a guy she didn't like and I fell on hard times with my mom, so I would occasionally go over there to shower and eat something. She was in her 40's, very thin but had a very nice face and was always very nice to me. I was 18 and always very complimentary to her and thankful for her helping me out. She was helping me without her daughter's knowledge as well. One day a hug goodbye got really long. She wouldn't let go, but she wasn't doing anything else. Just hanging on very tight. Being 18 and because of our relationship, I developed an instant erection. I guess she felt it and nuzzled closer. I started kissing her neck. Pulled her dress up. I guess her husband didn't really pay attention to her. (Something I didn't notice or pay attention to while I was dating her daughter.) We went at it for a few hours as the house was empty. She must've been pent up. It was honestly surreal. It didn't set in for a few days. My ex and my friends were all intertwined. I couldn't tell anyone and never have. Happened a few more times until I had my life in order and it seemed like she was starting to regret cheating on her husband.
"Come see my artwork and chill."
[rebelmouse-image 18357976 is_animated_gif=I had sex with an ex-girlfriend's mom. She broke up with me and a couple of weeks later I ran into her mom in the grocery store. Her mom commented that she missed me being around and I said I missed her too, she was a pretty cool mom. She told me that her divorce got finalized, her sister was going to move in and some other small talk type stuff that we both shared as we walked around the store.
I helped her put her groceries in her car and she hugged me. She told me I should come over sometime and see her new paintings, she was an artist. I went over a week or so later and she served me some wine and basically seduced me and introduced me to role play at the same time. We saw each other for over a year and then she moved, I miss her sometimes.
Yeah dude that counts.
[rebelmouse-image 18357977 is_animated_gif=I had sex with my son's girlfriends mom. Does that count?
Revenge, blissful revenge.
[rebelmouse-image 18357978 is_animated_gif=Friend of mine slept with my sister and kept making a big deal about it (I honestly could've cared less), and his mom was always making offhand sexual comments when I was around her so I decided to go for it. She had him when she was 16, we were around 18-19, so she wasn't old and still looked pretty good. Came through one day knowing he wasn't there after flirting with her pretty hard for a few weeks and she almost immediately jumped my bones. We slept together for a while after and neither of us ever said a word about it. It was fun while it lasted and I didn't stay friends with the guy for other reasons.
And then some follow up...
[rebelmouse-image 18357979 is_animated_gif=My buddy does this about my sister he f_cked after I moved away to college. But I don't mention that I used to f_ck his now-wife right before they started dating.
This is some real game.
[rebelmouse-image 18357980 is_animated_gif=I was 18 and my GF and I went to the zoo with her mom and my GF ended up throwing some kind of temper tantrum. Since her mother drove it was an awkward car ride home. I wouldn't even talk to her, and I looked over and she was giving me a death stare and said: do you want to break up. I sat there for a second and her mom said she was going to drop her, my GF and drive me the rest of the way home. I said yeah, yeah I do.
She dropped her daughter off and drove me home. I joked that my plan to get to her via her daughter had worked. She laughed at that and said I'd be lost and have no idea what to do with her. I blushed so hard at that and she saw it.
It took me a few minutes to gather my thoughts and figured: I'm going to flirt. Her mom since the day I met her would always wear tighter shirts and hip-hugging jeans around me. She was a recently divorced woman who may have been lonely, who knows. So I made a flirty comment about her looking fitter every time I came over.
We get back to my house, my parents aren't there and she had joked about taking the day off to come and use my pool. So I used that and said, it's a great night for night swimming. I fully expected her to just laugh and tell me to get out. But she said ok and there I was with my now ex GFs mother in my pool, she's in her undies and we are making out. The following weekend my now ex went to her dad's for the weekend and I stayed the weekend with her mother and we messed around. It went on for a few weeks more but broke it off when her daughter started suspecting it.
I don't regret it and we both had a lot of fun.
What a classy account.
[rebelmouse-image 18357981 is_animated_gif=I went from a known screw up to "the guy with his s*** together," at least in my town. I graduated, joined the military, got out and started a business. After my business stabilized a few months ago, I went home and visited an old HS friend who's mooching off of his mom, just like his dad. Anyway, the friend invited me over for dinner but I showed up early and he ended up flaking. So mom, dad and I had dinner together. It got pretty tense because dad didn't like me too much. He thought I was home just to show off my new life (kind of was), and he didn't care to hear about it at all. But she wouldn't stop asking me about it, causing him to get super annoyed and leave. Our conversation carried on into the evening, and my friend finally stumbled in clearly drunk. His mom just looked embarrassed and disappointed. I took him up to his room and tucked him into bed. When I came downstairs she hugged me telling me how proud of me she was and that watching me turn out like this was heartwarming. She was the first person to say anything of the sort, since to my parents I'm still a screw-up. While hugging my lips touched her neck and she squeezed me closer. From there you can all figure out what happened next. I was still home for a few more days after that and since my parents didn't appreciate my presence, I stayed with them. Interestingly enough, staying with them made the dad warm up to me. As of now, no one else knows except my business partner and the lovely people of Reddit.
He listened to the right head.
[rebelmouse-image 18357982 is_animated_gif=No sex, because I stopped myself. I was 18 and it was my very hot aunt by marriage who was my uncle's wife and my mom's good friend. I visited her sometimes when the uncle wasn't around because she was the "cool aunt" who was always telling me, "hey, stop by anytime and use my place like a crash pad during the day. Bring your gf if I'm not around and do whatever you guys do. I'll give you a key. You know me, I'm cool." I found out just how cool she was.
I stopped by one day and she was drinking a bit and she made a little joke about me being a big boy and then pushed up HARD. I had very little self-control and dove at her. She laughed and we started to get into it but she pushed me back slightly and told me to slow down because we had time. That snapped me out of it enough to make me realize that if I did this, at some point, she was going to pissed off at my uncle and let it slip as a "F--- you" to him, and I was eventually going to have to deal with my uncle & cousin & mom. Not worth it. Noped out of there.
Would've been hot but could've wrecked a lot of stuff. Much better not to have.
...there are some unanswered questions here.
[rebelmouse-image 18357983 is_animated_gif=My buddy's mom had recently gotten divorced, I went to his house looking for him so we could go play baseball. He had already left but she invited me in anyway, it escalated quick. Other one was a woman I worked with, she asked if I wanted to go out for drinks one night, I had a fake ID so I went for it. Went back to her place and did the deed. Woke up the next morning to her making breakfast, went into the kitchen to see her and her two kids were sitting at the kitchen table. Recognized them instantly, I previously dated her daughter freshman year and I played football with her son. I had no idea how old she was when I went out with her and didn't know her kids were older.
Her username is totally misleading.
[rebelmouse-image 18357984 is_animated_gif=When I was nineteen, I ended up in a mental hospital for a suicide attempt and one of the ladies in one of my group therapy groups was the mom of this guy I had gone to high school with. She was separated from her husband at the time and she and I got along well.
After I got out of the hospital she and I would hang out and talk or go to the movies. One day, I apparently seduced her (not exactly on purpose) and we sorta started sleeping together a lot. She divorced her husband told her family she was a lesbian and said she felt like she always had been gay but didn't know it. She went full on LGBT empowerment! This was the early nineties in the Bible Belt and she was a just out 48-year-old. She starting dating different women and last I saw her, she seemed very happy
Well he tried, but you know how these things go.
[rebelmouse-image 18357985 is_animated_gif=I always had the hots for her. Nothing happened except some decent text messages and one other make out session for another year, and I moved away.
I'm 21 and living back in my hometown. She had three kids, all my age, and we hung out occasionally.
We got drunk one night and I promised my friend I wasn't gonna bang his mom. Well, she started cuddling up close to me and it was game over
It's a wonderful feeling when you think you've met "the one."
Someone who is so perfect in absolutely every way that you can't help but think that they must be too good to be true.
Only to make the unpleasant discovery that they are, indeed, too good to be true.
As they neglected to tell you one important piece of information: they're seeing something else.
A discovery that is naturally met with rage, sadness, and confusion.
As well as the occasional unexpected, unusual development down the line.
"Guys that sleep with other guy's girlfriends, do you feel bad afterwards? Why or why not?"
Lose A Significant Other, Make A Friend!
"Hooked up with a girl at a party once."
"We hit it off and arranged to go on an actual date the next week."
"About an hour later someone told me her BF had just showed up."
"I gave the dude a beer, explained that I had no idea she wasn't single and that I'm sorry."
"He gave me a massive hug and thanked me for being upfront."
"We both told her to f*ck off and spent the rest of the night drinking and singing karaoke together."
"Top bloke."
"I didn't feel bad; I was lied to, he was betrayed, she was a *unt, nothing more to it really."- 5Volt
Pulled The Plug
"I did it twice not knowing they had bfs."
"Yes, I felt bad afterwards and I totally cut contact when I found out."- born_again_tim
Buh-Bye!
"When I was in college a married woman tried to hide her marriage… to a deployed Marine."
"As soon as I found out, I bounced."
"I never condone cheating."- ItsbeenBroughton
Two People Were Duped
"I actually have a story about this."
"So I hooked up with a girl who had a long term boyfriend at the time."
"I didn't know and we had few encounters over a two month period."
"One day I was curious and decided to look at her socials and that's when I found out about him."
"I never bothered to look because I was being ignorant and it was first time being in a fwb situation so I was excited and wanted to keep it secret."
"As I scrolled down her socials all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips and I just felt so bad for the guy."
"I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most."
"So that same night I decided to DM him about the situation and send him the texts between me and her to show him proof."
"He then called me and sounded really hurt holding back tears and all I could do was just say sorry over and over."
"But he thanked me and told me he would be leaving her."
"I then blocked her number and thought it was over with but later on that week the girl showed up at my place of work and damaged my car."
"Although I was angry at the moment I chose not to press charges as advised by the police (not USA) because the damage was minimal."
"But yea that's my story."
"On a positive note he found a new girl who looks way better and they equally appreciate each other outwardly on their socials so yes it was a happy ending."- rankyy
Even The Idea Is Hard Enough
"I lost a mate this way."
"We were really close friends and he was going through a rough time with his then girlfriend."
"She decided to get back at him by writing some bullsh*t in her journal about her and I hooking up and then conveniently left it out so he would see it."
"It was 100% untrue."
"Friend confronted me on it and I told him it was untrue but he didn’t believe me."
"We stopped talking after that."
"He eventually reached out to me about 6 months later after she admitted to him that she had made it all up."
"The damage was done and we never were the same again."- tizod
This Opens Many Questions...
"I had a brief friends with benefits arrangement with a girl who had a boyfriend."
"I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time."
"After time went on, I started to feel bad about it."
"It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me and I said no."
"She asked why not."
"I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend."
"She asked why."
"I said, you've literally spent the last 2 months cheating on your boyfriend."
"With me."
"Why else do you think?"- Idontdanceforfun
An Agreement Or Just Her Policy?
"I hooked up with a lady at my gym, she didn't say sh*t about being married, she came to my place the two times we hooked up."
"I saw her again at the gym with a dude, when he went off to go do something I went over and said hi, she said don't talk to her here with her husband around, she will call me later."
"She called me later and told me her husband worked out of town a ton, when in town she was with him, when he's out she's free to do as she pleases."
"We did not meet up again."- SomeRandomUser00
Thankfully, They Grew Up...
"I did it knowingly during High School."
"I was dating and she was too, but we both had issues in our relationships and we didn't know how to figure them out."
"Clinging to our toxic relationships we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together."
"We ended up fooling around and after we had sex, we both stopped."
"We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually both of us were single."
"I regret it, he doesn't know about it, I told my gf and she accepted my apology, even though we did break up about a year later."
"I'm not proud of myself and I still hate myself for it."- Slippy_666
Nipped In The Bud...
"A buddy’s wife tried to get with me once."
"I told her she had 90 seconds to call her husband (my best friend from High school), put the call on speaker, and explain to the two of us why she was a complete POS…or I’d call him myself."
"They divorced the next month."- Pennameus_The_Mighty
Some Secrets Aren't Worth Keeping
"If i know she cheated with me on her dude I let the dude know.""
"i hate that kind of people."- DaEpicBob
It's hard to place blame on those who unknowingly got together with partnered individuals.
Those who knew what they were doing, on the other hand, should have expected there to be consequences of some sort or another.
Do you have any similar experiences, let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized Their Best Friend Was A Complete A-Hole
Sometimes we're so blind to the faults of others.
Learning the hard truth about a best friend is never easy.
Especially if that particular truth is the fact that they were never a good friend or good person, to begin with.
But we see people how we see them.
And one day, we see beyond what we want.
You sort of feel bamboozled.
But when someone tells you who they are, whether with their words or their actions, believe them.
Redditor RealTourelle11 wanted to hear how friendships fell apart, so they asked:
"What made you realize your best friend was actually a complete a**hole?"
I've realized far too many times too late, that some people need to go.
Not all friends are friends.
EXCUSE ME?!
"When she told me she was cheating on her husband, and then I found out she was cheating with MY husband."
7grendel
$40 worth of snacks...
"I was poor and in college, I had the flu really really bad one week and asked my friend (he lived in a dorm across the hall) to go to the convenience store in the dorm lobby and get me something to drink and he could get whatever for himself too. He got me my soda and himself $40 worth of snacks."
"Didn’t notice at the time and I ordered us a pizza, he knew it was all I was going to have to eat for the next few days, and he snuck into my room and ate the leftovers while I was passed out on cold medicine."
"I didn’t even really know how to respond. Like I was already buying him snacks and feeding him… he had a meal plan on campus (I didn’t)… why act like that?"
EmperorMrKitty
Thief
"When I trusted and believed he was like a brother only to have him steal thousands of dollars from me. The money didn’t even matter but the treason hurt for years."
thejourney_89
"Happened to me too. A girl who was like a sister to me stole $80K from my business (her husband did, with her knowledge) and then turned her back on me while I was going through chemo. To be fair, I did tell her the worst thing would be if I lost a huge amount of money like that and that I’d rather have cancer again so I did give her the method to hurt me the worst. So there’s that."
Miqotegirl
Blocked
"Over time we lost contact, then she only reached out when she needed money. I let this go on too long until I found out I was pregnant with my first, and told her then I wouldn't send any money after that. She still asked, my daughter is now over 1.5 yo, and she had never even met her. I ended up blocking her and telling her not to bother trying to reach out anymore."
Beneficial_Affect522
Conversation Over...
"I started to realize that they only ever talk about themselves. They rarely ask me a question, but then cut me off while I’m answering to make it about them."
onemoretwat
Why can't people realize they need to shut up?
Probably because they don't care.
And Me?
"Realizing I am always there for them but it is never reciprocated or even acknowledged or even feigned interested in any thing I am doing in life."
Auniqueusername1983
Favors
"Best friend since elementary. In high school When I told her I no longer wanted to be friends because she was mean to others all the time, including me- she said that I had to be friends with her cuz she was my friend In elementary and middle school even tho everyone told her not to be, and that everyone talked behind my back about how gross and weird I was and she stayed my friend anyhow. She worded it like she was doing me a huge favor by being my friend and that I somehow owed her for that charity."
caffeinebee
In the end...
"Probably when my gf at the time admitted to sleeping with him and my three other guy friends while we were together. Not in an embarrassed way either, she was throwing it in my face to hurt me."
"I hoped against my own instincts that it wasn't true but I asked him and knew instantly from the look in his eyes that it was. Basically lost my whole friend group overnight, but... ended up finding much better friends in the long run. It all works out."
sleepingfox307
The Single Life
"All we ever talked about was her - how she hated being single, who she dated, how jealous she was of other people with partners. She skipped my dad's funeral. She ignored my housewarming party. She'd ignore me for weeks at a time, then suddenly call me up crying because she got dumped."
"I drove her to surgeries and sat waiting to drive her home. Watched her kids. Sat through a hundred weepy nights."
"Then she found a relationship. I have seen her 1x in the past 9 months (because I invited her to get together) and haven't heard from her in 3. I guess she must be happy now, doesn't need me to be a shoulder to lean on. She wasn't ever interested in being a friend to me. I was just someone to cheer her up when she was feeling down."
knastywoman
Loser
"When he got his girlfriend pregnant he got 6 weeks of paternity leave. He lived with me and she had her own place. For months after the child was born he sat home taking advantage of his paid vacation playing 10 hours of video games a day while she struggled with the child."
GuyMansworth
Some people just need to go from our lives.
It's healthy.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Confess Why They Think Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex Is A Good Or Bad Idea
Why is sex such a dramatic aspect of life?
It carries such weight in our lives.
For some, there's a big debate about waiting for marriage.
Other want to know if they're compatible (both emotionally and sexually) before tying the knot.
Whether it's for religious or other reasons, this topic can put a strain on many adult relationships.
First and foremost, we do know we have to do what's best for us.
Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:
"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"
Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.
No Touching
"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."
rlev97
Do we Fit?
"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."
Whatwhyohhh
"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."
"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."
"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"
ThrowRA--scootscooti
All Aspects
"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."
reidjanie
"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."
frecklie
Things Change
"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."
Sithlord_unknownhost
Stay Calm
"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."
1107rwf
"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."
PostRdMalone
Roulette
"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."
Zerotan
Don’t judge...
"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."
"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."
Icanicoke
Cause and Effect
"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."
Hiding_In_The_Back
He was right...
"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."
nivsei15
More than talk...
"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."
Deaf_Witch
"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."
DescipleOfCorn
Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.
Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.
Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all known someone who tends to say mean things or generally be kind of a jerk.
And whether we want to admit to it or not, it can be fun to see that jerk taken down a few notches with a solid insult.
Ready for roasting, Redditor depressed_jellybear asked:
"What's the best insult you've ever heard?"
Not Your Mom
"When I was in high school, one of my classmates gave our teacher a typical 'your mom' response to a question without realizing the teacher’s mother had just died."
"Without missing a beat, the teacher said, 'Leave my mother out of this. I don’t make fun of your parents, and look what they produced.”
- HopeDeferred
Adoption Jokes Not Welcome
"I was playing 'Pavlov' (a virtual reality game) with a group of people, one of which was this very annoying kid who kept saying something like, 'You're bad because you're adopted,' and stuff like that."
"He did that to one dude, and the guy replies something like, 'I'd return the insult, but that'd imply someone wanted you.'"
"Had the whole lobby erupting. I don't know if it's taken from somewhere or what."
- ClaireBear13492
Underestimated by the Teacher
"Teacher of mine once said to a classmate who kept making the most asinine contributions to the conversation:"
"'You make it really difficult to underestimate you.'"
"The guy had no idea what it meant, he thought it was a compliment."
- robbycakes
Jeez, Dad.
"16-year-old me trying to convince my dad to take my friends and I to see 'American Pie':"
"Dad: So what is it about?"
"Me: A group of high school friends trying to lose their virginity."
"Dad: I can stay home and see that."
- Theromented1
Based on Real Life
"I once asked my cousin if he watched the tv show 'Desperate Housewives,' and he said, 'No, I’m married to one."
- InourbwotamI
The Joke Will Go On
"I remember when 'Titanic' came out. My grandma, my mom, and I were getting ready to see it."
"My grandpa said, 'Don’t know what the fuss is about. I can tell you what happens, the boat sinks. The end.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud). Maybe it was his delivery, but it cracked me up."
- a7xbarbie
So, Anyway...
"The best one I've heard was, ''I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.'"
- scottcree486
Seems Pretty Complicated
"I overheard someone tell someone else, They’d need a recipe for making ice cubes."
- thepiecesaremoving
An Insult for an Insult
“You’re not the dumbest person I’ve ever met, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”
- Trick-Reveal-463
"And I have the best response for that: 'Well then, I will pray for your health.'"
- Maria_506
New Take on the Clown Car
"I saw a bunch of quite pretentious people getting out of a limo at a club and pretending they’re more than they are to get in ahead of the line."
"The bouncer quipped, 'I can always tell clowns, all arriving in the same car.'"
- preferablyoutside
Signs of Aging
"Some bouncers are brilliantly witty, I assume it comes with working in a job where you have to deal with drunk a**holes all the time."
"A few years ago, I got IDed to enter a bar. I'd recently started buzzing my hair due to hair loss, yet my photo driving license had me with a thick full head of hair from several years before."
"The bouncer looked at the card, then me, and then said, 'Haven't you forgotten something?'"
"I was confused. He then showed his colleague, who nodded and said, 'Yeah mate, you've definitely forgotten something.'"
"Then he pointed to his head."
- Squeaky_Lobster
Good Luck Getting a Job
"You've got a face for radio, and a voice for writing."
- mike_e_mcgee
Girl Quips
"From 'Golden Girls':"
"Blanche: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms."
"Sofia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?"
- LissaMasterofCoin
Randomness Wins
"Context aside, someone once told me I look like I go to the park to punch birds."
- TheRoamingWeeb
While it can feel terrible to need to be around negative people sometimes, there's hope knowing that there are some things we can say that are funny and that will relatively put them in their place.
Now if only some of us could think of the comeback at the moment when it's useful...