When we think of cults, we think of creepy chants and sketchy charismatic leaders who victimize vulnerable people. We tend to imagine it as a sinister thing that happens elsewhere and would be impossible for "normal" people in "the real world" to fall into.
We would be terrifyingly wrong.
One Reddit user asked:
Redditors who broke free from a cult, what was it like?
And the responses were more than a little disturbing. Everyday people popped up to share their experiences - and almost without exception people seemed to not even know they were in cults when they were active.
Read through, take stock, and seriously consider the things you get yourself involved in.
Obvious Questions
the office questions GIFGiphyI was in a doomsday cult for 23 years from my age 13 to 36 (1995-2018). Nothing odd or weird went on. You would genuinely feel good at start. But once we get deep enough you lose any kind of ambition in life and start having a lot of negativity about the present world and people outside the cult. And you're literally waiting for the world to end.
Based on its teachings, this world should have "transformed" by now, into their so-called heaven, and only a bunch of the cult followers should have remained in harmony. I totally believed everything I heard without questioning (probably because I was young and naïve) and followed their "Rules and regulations " to the dot. Like celibacy, food habits, keeping a distance from everyone outside the cult (even close family members) .. etc.
Finally, when some obvious questions started arising in my mind I felt like fool, and totally lost and betrayed. Like 4 years back, I felt like I couldn't meditate or listen to their daily verses. It felt totally off. I had to dig deep inside my mind to find the reason why I am unable to feel anything. That's when I felt that a number of things didn't add up. No outside influence at all.
It took a lot to break free and am still in the process. I'm 38 and married last year. She's a wonderful person. Her love and support helped me move on. I would say I am doing good now.
- ohrlygr8
Confusing and Painful
Confusing and painful.
I was born in a cult and left when I was 18, because I could not bear to live like that any more. They were very hard on women, reducing them to helps who were not allowed to voice opinions.
Leaving was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. It took me years to realize the pain I caused my family was actually not my fault.
Also, I felt so alien in the world. I missed the general background that people have, because the world I had lived in was so different. I was trying to fit in, without knowing how to set boundaries to protect myself.
I was lucky to know people on the outside. The group I was in did live amongst non-believers. We were just not allowed to mingle. When I left, I went straight into a relationship with someone from the outside.
Within days I realized I was in a bad situation there too. I stuck around way too long, trying to make it work and thinking I was the reason it was so hard. I did get an education, so I would be able to take care of myself.
After five years I ended the relationship, moved out and have been doing better since.
Once You're Out
I think the funniest thing about living in a cult isn't what you notice living in it. It's what you notice once you're out.
There were some pretty strange things that when you're long removed from it all you're like, "Holy shit that IS messed up." When you're in it it just seems normal.
When I was a young, I was told in the end of days I would be tortured for my beliefs. They would try to get me to deny Christ. I needed to stay strong, and resist. So 8 year old me was 1, afraid of getting tortured, and 2, afraid that I wouldn't be able to withstand the torture and wouldn't end up going to Heaven.
When I was a mid-teen, it was things like when I masturbated I was supposed to imagine having sex with Jesus....that last one I thought was weird even when I was in the cult, but more of a "eww, I don't want to do that" over a " that is some sick and twisted sh*t" kind of thing.
That's the weirdest part. When you ask what it was like, my first response is to go, "Like any other childhood really..." And then I think about it and go...hmmmm okay, not quite. It's funny how accepting minds can be when it's all you know.
Falling In Line
I broke from a cult. I had gotten sucked in during college.
They prey on college kids who are away from home, searching for an identity and desperate for a sense of belonging. At first it was fun. Nonstop activities. People who genuinely wanted me around. Help. Support. It felt good.
But it quickly took over. Then the pressure started. Subtle at first. Give up all other people and activities because they weren't good for me. Spend all my time and energy with the church. They assigned someone to watch me. To report to. To confess to.
At the same time I befriended the cult leader's wife and spent a lot of time with her. I felt privileged. But I started to see things.
I went to catholic school 13 years and I think that was the best inoculation! Then the whole women's role thing really got me steamed. I started arguing with the cult leader's wife about women being equal and I suspect something I said got to her because the cult leader hauled me into a meeting and talked to me for an hour.
By the end he could see I wasn't going to fall in line and I could finally see him for what he was - a fraud. So he kicked me out. I was banned hard! He was afraid I would infect others. My good friend had to flee in the dead of night and hide in another state. They hunted him. But me - they never even spoke to me again!
Long long ago when I was a preteen I had to stay with some relatives for a while. These relatives were in a 'church' that was run by an openly admitted, formerly imprisoned con man. I was told I had to go to this 'church' too, 3 times a week, or be thrown out of the house with nowhere else to go. Things started off more or less normal-ish and only gradually did it become a fanatical cult.
For the time I was there, I was as sucked in as everyone else and couldn't see that things were messed up. One Wednesday evening I had a bad tummy flu and was left with the neighbors while everyone else went to the church. Friday night rolls around and I'm still too sick and weak to go. Sunday morning comes and I'm perfectly healthy, but no longer want to go. Once again I was left at the house, but with instructions to be gone before they returned. I left and have never regretted it.
What made this 'church' a cult:
- I know of at least one young woman in the congregation that had quietly asked around for help because the 'leader' was hitting on her and not taking no for an answer. She soon disappeared and was never heard from or mentioned again. I have no idea if something happened to her, or she just ran but either way it was bad.
- At any given time in the last year I was there, at least 3 of the most attractive teen girls lived with the 'leader', an unmarried man, with no supervision, and their parents seemed to think this was wonderful.
- The 'leader' would frequently say one thing and then contradict himself in the next sentence, and no one ever noticed or commented on it.
- The 'leader' put a great deal of effort into separating his 'flock' from friends, family and the community at large. All holidays became 'satanic' and the congregation was forbidden to practice anything considered normal for holidays.
- Years later when I was grown and married, a friend from childhood contacted me to tell me the cult was being investigated by, I don't remember now which alphabet agency. I immediately called the number for that agency that was in the phone book, and told them everything I knew. I never heard anything after that, and have no idea what happened.
"Altruistic Fellowship"
I left AA in 2011, after ten years of lies, coercive deception, and being intimidated by extreme fear.
Although many may laugh at AA being considered a cult, It has all ten of the 'Sam & Tanner' indicators, that would describe it as such.
As Scientology hides behind it being a religion, AA hides behind its structure of anonymity (at all levels). I was pursued and threatened if I didn't go back, and other members visited my family - at home and at their places of work - to tell them I was going to drink, and soon die if I didn't resume meetings.
As AA promotes the image of an 'altruistic fellowship' the Police are very wary of getting involved. It took me over six years to de-program, and even today, I have troubling thoughts from the incidents I witnessed while a member.
The problem isn't about the twelve step program as writ. The problem is the sick individuals that use Its anonymous status as a hiding place, To sexually predate on the vulnerable, use coercion to control, steal, and intimidate others, use 'sponsorship' to inflate their egos and manipulate.
I could recount dozens of sickening things I've seen and experienced around AA. Thankfully there are now many other legitimate support networks, and alcoholics are seeking them out, and gaining credible results. The 13th stepping, 3%ers, have finally been found out for what they are. I always found it odd, that the sickest conduct was always perpetrated by those with the alleged longest sobriety,
Thank you for sharing this. Indoctrination is scary at many of these meetings. The contradiction and wildly overstepping appropriate boundaries is near constant. I cant imagine AA in it's current state surviving us millenials who question "we do it this way and only this way because we do it this way" and I am forever grateful. Again - thank you.
- jlemo434
Dad Was Sent To Save The World
Not sure if it fully qualifies, but my Dad ran my family like a cult.
He was a fundamentalist Christian and believed he was a priest of the Melchizedekan order sent by god to save a bunch of people before the end times. In reality he was mostly just abusive and pathetic. We had a weekly scheduled meeting where he'd tell me, my siblings and my Mom that we were worthless (based on whatever we did he didn't like that week) and he was our only hope for salvation.
He also would lock me in a closet for days on end if I was more than a minute late mowing the lawn and had me dig my own grave twice (once for insulting my sister, which was a dick move...but not really grave digging worthy and the other time for deciding to leave the house after having been grounded for seven months prior.)
He was religiously popular in all our churches though he hid the whole "saving the world before the apocalypse" thing. I can't say everyone in those churches were bad people like my Dad, but they definitely weren't willing to believe me when I asked for help and were pretty crazy in their own right. My Dad was probably bipolar and a narcissist, I know my Mom was an extreme enabler, though she was abused as well, and I was the black sheep no matter what I did (my sister was the golden child and my younger brother was pretty much forgotten.) We were all, obviously, homeschooled.
I ended up going to a pretty culty fundamentalist university, it's not the one you're thinking of but was just as bad in a more personal way. It was the first time I got a lot of approval, literally had people calling me a prophet. But I realized that I didn't know what the fck I was doing and no one in there right mind should blindly listen to what I was saying and started seriously questioning my faith.
Ended up becoming the first openly non-religious person there. Was harassed, sued and physically assaulted by the campus pastor, personally publicly derided by the campus president and nearly kicked out over a rumor I was Michael Moore's nephew. I was nearly assaulted by a few students over my anti-torture stance, being the straight side of the first gay-straight alliance on campus...and for possibly being Moore's nephew. Was constantly stopped to hear arguments for religion.
Weirdly enough the professors were really good about it all, they disagreed with me but were supportive (I'm still friends with a number of them.) Though they also kind of treated me like a token in the classroom though, constantly asking me to provide the skeptical argument. That was pretty taxing as my entire life became debating religion.
Overall I lost a lot of friend, but some were surprisingly supportive. My Dad obviously hates me even more now. I tried being polite so that I could be there for my brother and I was. A few years back he actually credited me as the top positive influence in his life during an award acceptance speech (that little fcker's way more talented than me.) I didn't speak bad about my Dad until he brought it up during his 18th birthday when I took him out for our tradition Miyazaki film tradition. Prior to that I was just supportive, went nuclear on my parents the times that needed it (they tried to ruin his bugging game programming career in high school...and a lot of other sht,) and giving him old textbooks and computer sht I'd replaced with better so he'd at least have something.
Otherwise my non-religious life has been pretty peaceful and productive. I'm moderately wealthy, have a great career and generally enjoy my life. At the time I thought everyone was like the religious group I was in, but in reality most people don't give a sht. I've explored various other religions but not really found anything. I also tried a lot of psychedelics for a bit, which were kind of the nail in the coffin in explaining away the religious experiences I had as a kid. It's kind of weird how leaving that sht now is just normal (though it took a long time for it to feel that way.)
My Mom died last year from the flu, it kills me she never got away from my Dad. My Dad is a opiate addict, and has been for about two decades. He's also over 800lbs so no one really takes him seriously anymore. I never got an apology from the people I went for help to, though they all speak disapprovingly of my Dad now.
Weirdly enough, despite the sh*t I went through, I'm still friends with the pastors son from my teen years and loosely with the pastor. The son had a better life than me by far but managed to fck it up. The pastor was surprisingly accepting, though disapproving, of my non-religion. Despite being fcking crazy, I'll say that pastor did literally clear his schedule to stay with me while I was waiting in the hospital for my Mom to die - despite my family having left the church for 15 years while their new pastor didn't even show up.
It's weird, it's hard to condemn all the insanity. It's easy to condemn my Dad, but some of the people in that group weren't bad, but just crazy/broken people genuinely trying to do good but hampered by their insanity.
Selling Waterbeds
GiphyI accepted a job as a traveling salesman once upon a time when I was desperate for income. Had no idea that it was a front for a cult.
We sold waterbeds, but anytime someone would tried to leave the company, management would gaslight you, become mentally abusive and manipulative, and try to use your personal life against you. All the other coworkers were honestly like creepy AF. They all behaved like subservient loyal robots literally.
The cult itself, was centered around the owner. They had subtle wording in their company core values and policies that basically referenced that they were a God, if not the God of humanity. It was weird as fck. I was subjected to some really shtty situations, and trying to tell my family and friends about it they wouldn;t believe me. Thought I was a lunatic, it was just a shitty job etc.
But no, there were death threats, other forms of threats, all sorts of just mindblowing crap from management, including attempted blackmailing, framing etc. Company meetings consisted of people getting hazed, but they called it "trust building exercises".
There was also some kind of weird double love triangle going on between some of the coworkers and management. I'm pretty sure the coworkers all fcked each other too. Like you know the movie, what's it called...West World or something? Where all the cyborg robot humans were obviously preprogrammed to act and behave a certain way without fault? That's exactly how my coworkers were.
In the end I realized I had to move across country without warning to get away from them.
Re-Learning The Basics
Having to re-learn basic words, definitions, and thought processes. Oh, Practical Prayer doesn't take up hours of your time? Circular logic is bullshit? Idle hands are NOT the Devil's playground? Being a passive-minded, obsessively-clean, hardworking, frugal SHEEP that gives your blood, sweat, tears, time, and MONEY all to the Church DOESN'T make you a contributing member of society?
- BarGamer
Forgive Everyone Everything
Ex-Mennonite here, from a rather extreme branch of it.
I fcking hate how people idolize Amish and Mennonites and have no idea how fcked up it all is. The physical and spiritual abuse that is carried out behind walls; the sickening way they treat animals; how they force victims to forgive, and cover up the crimes of their own.
People were so surprised and admiring when those Amish whose school had been shot up "forgave" the sicko who did it. Missing from the commentary was that we are told from when we are very young that the only way to enter heaven is to forgive everyone everything. And to be doormats for all the violent men in our lives, whether in or outside the community.
- Hurtin93
How The World Works
Being so completely ignorant of how the world really works was the worst for me. I lived in a bubble just thinking everything outside the religion didn't matter, because soon everything will be destroyed and almost everyone would be dead because they were not Jehova Witnesses.
I had to educate myself when I finally woke up. I read more than 20 books in one year. Trying to comprehend how the outside world really works. But my life has been full of failures because is not the same in theory than in practice. Maybe one day I'll get the hang of it and start succeeding.
Paying Them For The "Honor" of Volunteering
I was in a cult for around 7 or 8 years. It started off great. I was making so many new friends and the congregation was quickly growing... but then after some time I started to notice money go missing from the church coffers. They were always fund-raising to improve upon something for the church, but the amount of money that they would raise never quite added up to what they would do with that money. After a few years they ended up selling the whole church, with the senior pastors adding the profits to their retirement fund... that's just the financial side of things.
They would also take advantage of their staff. They would get people to work for them without paying them. In fact, one of my good friends got roped into doing a 'traineeship' there in which she had to do over 20 hours of 'volunteer work' every week, for which she had to PAY THEM for the honour of completing.
They would also frequently raise money for 'mission / aid work' in third world countries. However, the funds raised for this purpose were always misappropriated on expensive dinners for the pastors and fully paid vacations that they called 'mission trips'.
The worst part about it has the be the brainwashing. They reach you things that are very narrow-minded and they teach you to think a certain way which is very harmful. For example, they put a big taboo around sex.
So yeah, that really only scratches the surface, but that's a bit what it was like. I really had to reprogram the way I thought a lot after I left, after I realized that a lot of what they had taught me was false.
Holidays Are Amazing!
It was difficult. 25 years of not knowing how to think for yourself and suddenly having to, is hard to process. Everything was very routine and once I got out of that routine, I didn't know what to do. Forced myself to meet new people and figure out what "truth" is.
Very happy with who I am now after three years but still learning more about being independent and being open to new ideas and beliefs. Plus, holidays are AMAZING! I love Halloween and Christmas 🎃🎃🎄🎄
- kimv88
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People Break Down How They'd React If They Couldn't Have Sex Anymore Due To Physical Or Mental Issues
Sex isn't everything.
But it can be something many of us take for granted.
But when it's gone... you notice.
Some move on, and some grieve.
And for many Redditors, this situation wasn't a hypotherical.
Redditor JeffLaRue wanted to hear how people would react without the possibility of sex, so they asked:
"What would you do if you couldn't have sex anymore due to a physical or mental issue?"
I personally wouldn't be thrilled.
But I'd find a way.
The New Me
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I do actually (endometriosis). It's sometimes really sad, but you do other things with your partner, and try again to see if there's any improvement."
"I used to have a high sex drive, but due to the pain not anymore. My partner understands that and his one preoccupation is my health."
Nansya
Likely be ok?
"My husband has stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He’s ok and will likely be ok but chemo/immunotherapy f**ked with his mojo. I’m good. We’ve found our intimacy in other ways like coffee together and just laughing in our car, our tv shows, etc.. I’d much rather have him with me than sex."
Dawnydiesel
"Let's take a moment to appreciate that 'likely be ok' and 'stage 4 metastatic melanoma' can coexist in one sentence. Science, man."
Sixmonths_Newaccount
Sucks, really...
"I was hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. I no longer have any sensation down there. Sucks, really. In some ways I think it is easier to get over not being able to walk, than losing sexual function. Unfortunately there isn't anything to do about it."
krunchytacos
"I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I agree with you. My vehicle was rear-ended at a red light. I learned to walk again (so I’m doing amazing really!) but I can’t feel most of my bits, peeing is weird or doesn’t work, same with poo, one foot is constantly weakening, numbness, pins and needles, bolts of pain, constant throbbing, changes with the weather and activities, and really just keeps getting worse. Can’t work a full time job anymore. But the thing that’s the hardest to deal with is the neurogenic sexual dysfunction. It’s difficult as hell."
jessibrarian
All Gone
"The real question is, what would your SO do? We have been in this exact predicament for over 3 years now... It's like living with your best friend but every single day you watch a piece of your relationship die."
"Sorry for the over sharing. This one hits hard. Prostate cancer under 50 is considered rare."
"Although if caught early its very treatable. What they don't tell you is the cancer is transplanted into your relationship. For over 30yrs we had an amazing intimate sexual chemistry that was built around if one of us isn't into it then we won't do it. No fake orgasms, no birthday sex, no wearing each other down or giving in... just raw vulnerability and trust. All gone!"
New_Shoes_999
Meh
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I would definitely miss it, but I'd manage."
SexyChronicPain
Some people really don't care but did address the lack of intimacy.
A Mental No
No No No GIFGiphy"Honestly I’d be devastated. Not being able to connect in that intimate way with my partner would leave a huge gap in my mental well being. I know it’s not technically essential but it’s a massive part of a relationship and without that I would feel incompetent as a partner."
whiskerbiscuit2
Quality Time
"I'd try other things to feel intimate with my partner. Like naked, but not sexual, snuggling. Or start up a hobby night where we spend quality time together. Maybe buy them a quality toy so they don't feel like they're missing out because of me 🤷♀️ But other than that? I'd just continue getting on with life!"
BinkiesForLife_05
The Struggle
"Been dealing with an inflammatory skin issue that has prevented me from having sex with my partner for the last two months. It’s been a struggle, feels like my sex life is in shambles, and it’s driven me back into depression."
"Luckily my partner is incredibly understanding, but it has put a huge strain on the relationship. Trying to explore other forms of intimacy but she has a hard time receiving touch without it being a mutual experience.
"If this becomes a long term problem I don’t know how I’ll cope."
Merp_the_People
Downgrade
"I'm going to buck the trend and say that my life would be significantly degraded. I had a fairly low sex drive through periods of my life due to mental illness. Now, I am at my sexual peak and it's as if I'm seeing in color for the first time: I know how my body works, and what it likes, and I feel powerful and sexy."
"At this point, my sense of self and identity are linked to my ability to have sex. I felt very ugly and like I was only a mother for a while, and I feel much more like a woman and a normal person now. I could live without sex... but it would take me building myself up all over again and accepting who I am without that."
PralineOwl
Inadequacy...
"It would probably devastate me, honestly. I was super overweight had very poor luck with women in my teens and twenties. I took control of my life, lost over 100 pounds and met my wife at 28. 8 years later we still have a very healthy sex life. She would understand but I feel as though it would bring up the feeling of inadequacy again."
Kingjerm731
Sex isn't everything, but it's important to many.
Hopefully everyone finds peace if this is a life issue being faced.
When it comes to sexual harassment, everybody needs to be on the same page.
The focus has predominantly (and rightfully so) been on educating men.
But the men of Reddit wanted to discuss some of their experiences that some people may not realize are harassment.
Redditor Babydolltoes544 asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s something women don’t realize is sexual harassment?"
First up, let's listen to our Kindergarten teachers and keep our hands to ourselves.
Gloves On
Long Hair GIF by Slingshot DakotaGiphy"As a guy just because I have long hair doesn’t mean you can walk up to me and run your hands through it when I don’t even know you."
TheSilkySpoon76
"Definitely a long hair or curly hair problem. actually why do people think it’s cool to touch your hair, beard, muscles, pregnant belly etc?? personal space everyone!"
ashoka_akira
Leave me Alone
"Some women once tried to take off some of my clothes in a club (without me showing interest in them at all). When I told them to «f**k off» after a while, they got angry at me. Never been so confused."
"Edit: I almost forgot lmao. They talked to one of the guards at the club right after. "
"Don’t know what they said, but as they talked to him, they pointed at me. (Maybe they said that I was the bad guy or something). When I saw that, I just left. I figured the guard would trust the two girls more than me. Club was boring anyways."
UngabaBongDong
Fix the Damage
"I had a drunk young lady rip my button up shirt off in a bar on a dance floor then proceed to cup my d**k. I was mad so told her and her friends to f**k off after I got my shirt back from them, which had all the buttons torn off except the bottom 2. That was super annoying but I was just going to deal with it until I was asked to leave by the bouncers for yelling at women and not buttoning up my shirt."
"Another group of women approached me and said they had the whole thing on video which I then sent to the bars management and got a $200 gift certificate for it. In hindsight, I probably should have just taken it to the police. I never felt in danger or scared for my safety but it was totally inappropriate and if I did that I would be in jail."
krzysztoflee
You're an Adult
"I was working at a birthday party in a bar once, and a really drunk 40 year old woman decided to just walk behind the counter and slip a banknote into my shirt. She then started to rub around my chest like some sort of massage I guess? It was really weird, I just stood there confused waiting for it to end."
"Her husband was watching the whole time and didn't seem to happy about the whole thing. But nobody really seemed to care or just laughed about it. If I as a 40 year old man had done that to a 17 year old girl working at a bar, I would've gotten one hell of a lawsuit."
Xender04
Creepy Granny
Sam Heughan Dancing GIF by Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and GrahamGiphy"Every wedding and funeral I have ever been to as a Scotsman, there are a gaggle of horny grannies who at every opportunity try to get a look under the kilt."
bonjelascott
Not okay, grannies. Let's respect cultural tradition and healthy boundaries.
She gets it now...
"I’ve been into weightlifting most of my adult life. As a result, my arms and chest are noticeable. I’m not like a body builder or anything but I’ve got big arms and a protruding chest. Women think that they can just grab on my arms and rub my chest without permission or warning. I think that they think it’s okay because they compliment me afterwards. It makes me uncomfortable."
"My fiancée never really took me serious about it until at a work party one of my female coworkers basically groped my arms in front of her and it made her jealous. She gets it now."
IWillFindUinRealLife
LIAR!
"The same exact crap that applies to sexual harassment against women. I had a girl I used to work with slap my a**, grab my crotch and try to rub her breasts against me. When I took it to HR nothing was done about it. A week later I got written up because she lied and told HR I had verbally abused her."
SugoiBakaMatt
Where is She?
"My partner was at a truck stop waiting for his food when some lady came up and grabbed his junk. Just walked up and shoved her hand down his pants. He pushed her off, said he was taken and told her to f**k off. She reached for him again and said 'Well she isn't here now, is she?'"
"It disgusts me people are like this, regardless of gender. It's even worse that women aren't held as accountable as men are."
peckerlips
This is Odd...
"My partner went to a job interview and the older woman kept touching him as they talked. Like on his arm or hand. I told him that’s not okay and he doesn’t have to take that."
"He said that he didn’t want to make a scene because she might accuse him of harassment in retaliation and she had his information."
"And I realized men put up with harassment out of fear too. Different reasons, but it sucks for both genders."
BarbarianFoxQueen
Excuse You?
Excuse Me Reaction GIF by BounceGiphy"I once had some chick walk past me and squeeze my junk and another one slap my butt and I'm pretty sure that neither of them knew that that was sexual harassment. (Edit: Both of these instances were on two separate occasions)."
CapG_13
Sexual harassment is still all too prevalent. We have a long way to go.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.
There's an endless supply of knowledge in the world, and we're bound to get some of it wrong.
But it sure is annoying when a person continues to believe false knowledge after it's been disproven.
Already annoyed, Redditor Aarunascut asked:
"What's an annoying myth that people still cling to?"
Hobbies, Who?
"That having hobbies as an adult is only worth it if it brings in money. No, I love my meaningless and expensive hobbies, even if they don't bring in any income."
- Sneezy_baby
Joy Is Worthy
"I've been interrogated about why I'm a trained swordfighter."
"Because it's fun, you dolt!"
"I'm not going to try to rationalize about how it's an effective way to stay in shape or how sword fighting trains skills used in practical self-defense, or how studying the manuals is an intellectually-stimulating academic pursuit."
"I'm just an adult who likes playing with swords."
- Drach88
History Hidden Under Paint
"Ancient Greek and Roman sculpture and architecture being pure white marble."
"They are now. That's because art dealers long, long ago washed the paint off."
- Needydadthrowaway
Is MSG Really So Bad?
"My grandmother saw me adding MSG to a curry and the look on her face was like I was pouring rat poison into the pot."
"Meanwhile, she has basically shaved her diet down to only food with very high natural MSG content. Miso soup with kelp seasoned with soy sauce is her go-to meal when she doesn't want to think about it, her backup is a soup made from dried fish, tomatoes, gochujang, and kimchi."
"Inconsistent, I tell you."
- dudemanguy301
Scientific Fact or Idiom?
"The saying that, 'Lightning NEVER strikes twice in the same place.'"
- Back2Bach
Wait an Hour to Swim after Eating
"I was on a swim team as a kid, and if I ate and swam too close together, I most definitely got abdominal cramps."
"I always attributed it to the intensity of swimming because when this happened, this was with full-on swimming (either competing or training), and properly swimming uses basically every skeletal muscle you have."
"Eating and hopping in the pool for a float or to screw around with friends never gave me trouble."
- bigalfry
When Life Gives You Lemons
"Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!"
"I don’t want your d**n lemons, what the h**l am I supposed to do with these?"
"Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
- BismarkUMD
Buns Bunny vs. the Optometrist
"That carrots give you good eyesight."
"But have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?? No?? It works! (sarcastic comment)"
- TimBambantiki
Alpha Males
"The alpha theory for wolves, people still believe it even though the person who made the theory took it back. The ‘alpha’ of wolves is actually just the pack’s parents, and the pack is usually made up of their offspring."
"But this is a useful myth. Because the people who continue to espouse it and live their life by 'I'm an alpha' ideology gives a demonstrable reason to avoid them."
- MalkavianPrinceofJC
10% of Our Brain
"I hate this one. Our brain is a massive, fuel-guzzling organ that's full of folds and wrinkles to increase its size. To make an organ that big and then only use 10% is stupid."
- PM_;EOttoVonBismarck
Missing Persons
"That you need to wait 24 hours to file a missing person’s report."
"Yeah, in fact, it's the exact opposite, the first 24 hours are the most important."
- Aesk19
Define "Undercover"
"An undercover cop has to tell you they're a cop if you ask them."
- No_Instance_1851
Dietary Needs
"My grandma told me not to cross my legs because the baby wouldn't have room. I told her the baby was making me uncomfortable and I was going to move into whatever position I needed and that is what is best for both of us."
"My sister was even more annoying. She thought she had better medical knowledge because of nursing school, but she really didn't."
"We were at a friend's wedding and I ordered my steak medium well (you aren't supposed to have it medium) and it came medium. The risk is super low. I decided that sending it back to the kitchen would make it more likely to have an issue than eating it as is."
"She said something. I am diabetic. I didn't eat the wedding cake, but I had a chocolate-covered strawberry. A single chocolate-covered strawberry. She was asking if I really should be eating that."
"Yes. I should. The less than 20g of carbs were within my limits, and I was moving around all day and I needed the sugar!"
"To be fair, my family isn't in my life anymore because they are abusive and toxic people. So many pregnancy myths are about control. Pregnant women already have such a loss of control and agency. It is so dehumanizing."
"S**tty people use it to erode the confidence of first-time parents. They want to seem wise and relied on others for advice. They want you to think they know more than you and get you to trust them over yourself."
- Viperbunny
What Free Lifetime Pass?
"If you give birth in Disney World, YOU DO NOT GET A FREE LIFETIME PASS."
- mrkrabs445
Natural Births
"I have issues with the unassisted birth crowd."
"They say, 'Your body was made for this. Women gave birth for thousands of years without hospitals.'"
"Yeah, and the mortality rates for both birthing parents and babies were way higher than it is now. They also typically had midwives and doulas with them, not this unassisted bulls**t."
- NerfRepellingBoobs
The world is constantly overflowing with information, and we're bound to get some of it wrong some of the time.
But pieces of information that are repeatedly misinterpreted, as shown here, can be wildly concerning.
Sheltered People Raised In Cults Explain Which Things About The Real World Shocked Them The Most
What's most unsettling about people who grow up in cults or strict and conservative religious groups is they are raised with a highly distorted view of the world.
Rather than being taught to have an open mind and heart, they are brainwashed into believing that there is a very firm right and wrong way to live.
Often including sexist, homophobic, racist and other blatantly discriminatory policies.
As a result, when people leave these societies, either being rescued or through their own bravery, they are often shocked to discover just how different the world is than they were led to believe.
"Sheltered people raised by super religions/cults: what was something about the real world that shocked you when you learned about it?"
Comfort Levels Are OK.
"That it’s actually healthy to have boundaries."- aphroditespearl
It's Ok To Be Yourself
"The greatest thing to me is what it felt like to be authentic."
'When you grow up in a fundamentalist cult, your life is not your own."
"Everything is planned out for you, every worldview is shaped by your religion."
"Leaving that all behind and being my own, genuine person was the best and least expected blessings of leaving the Mormon cult."
"Yes, sex and drugs (esp psychedelics) were amazing too, but I love being my own person so much."- Bojikthe8th
"Normal People"
"How normal people aren’t thinking about you/judging you all the time, and even if they are- you can’t do anything about it anyway, some will judge no matter what you do."
"We (women, anyway) were raised to obsess over what we are wearing, how modest it is, and will it make men stumble?"
"My breasts are too small for one man but too large for all men, despite being what God gave me."
"My body is both too thin to bear children but somehow also too fat, and proof that I am a glutton."
"We were taught how to modulate our voices into a soft pleasant pitch, how to serve God with every breath, and how we’re living literally every single moment on a precarious cliff of falling into sin."
'The moment I realized that my hair color, my clothes, my makeup was more an expression of myself than a reflection of other’s desires was the moment I finally let go."
"I don’t dress for men, I don’t dress for women- I dress for myself."- Q_Fandango
The World Is More Wholesome Than Expected
"Where is all the sex and drugs?!"
"I was promised wanton lascivious f**king in the streets."- FairUnion275
Words, Words, Words...
"Nothing as major as here but my wife’s family is extremely religious, her grandfather was even a cult leader a few books written about him."
"Can’t get into details for sake of privacy, but it stands out to me and it blows my mind how ignorant her whole family is."
"And I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but ignorance in the way of the most basic social cues and interactions and even words in conversation."
"I’ll be talking to her aunts and uncles in their sixties and they’ll have so many things they’ve never heard of it blows my mind."
'She has two aunts who actually took classes to learn how to have normal conversations because they were so odd."
"It’s weird."
"Even my wife is still learning and growing vocabulary and she’s 39."- Dorkknight112183
People Actually Can Be Compassionate, Equitable And Kind
"Didn't realize that Christianity wasn't the 'default' for adults."
"Didn't realize it's not normal to treat your family like garbage while being a super nice charismatic human to everyone else."
"More of a narcissistic thing but since I was so sheltered and they were so strict and obsessed with being in control, I had no idea."
"Didn't know that not everyone has an ulterior motive when speaking to you."
"Was raised with the girls inside doing women chores and the boys outside helping with man chores."
"Grew up and realized some men actually cook and clean as well... what a shocker."- free-the-krug
The World Is A Safer Place Than You Think
"Not raised religious, but raised by an incredibly sheltering parent."
"Turns out I *won't* be mugged and murdered for simply existing in a city setting without a male escort."- TheRedMaiden
In All Seriousness, It Has Many Health Benefits
"That I’m not gonna go to hell for jerking it and it’s completely normal to feel the urge to self pleasure and release on your own terms."- Nuck_7
Not Always Beholden To Others
"How people can just... Make decisions."
"You don't need to jump through hoops, meditate all night, read the bible, and pray, just because you want to buy a certain dress."
"You can just.. Buy it."
"You can make that decision."
"I can make that decision."
"Freedom was extremely surreal at first."
"It still sort of is."- celaeya
Absolutely Everything
"For me, it was a complete culture shock."
"People could do anything ."
"Women could treat men as equals, not always defer to them."
'People treat other people with more respect-- adults are treated like adults."
"People could talk about sex and bodily functions like periods without being ashamed."
"People weren't afraid of living their lives in a way that made them happy."
"In the first few months of being out of my parents' home, I learned so many new words and things I didn't know existed."
"I watched a lot of movies that would have been considered wickedly sinful in my former home."
"I had to relearn how to talk and act with people."
"Outside of the church, people do everything different, and the people you can and can't trust are different."
"I felt like I had the IQ of a normal 8 year old in the real world."- Fearless-Complaint16
Life Doesn't Need To Be Lived In Fear
“'End is nigh!''."
"Oh I’m waiting!"
“'Christo Viene'.”
"'I wish he would'."
"'You’ve been left behind' … yep."
"To suffer like the rest of us."
"Grew up in a rapture-centric evangelical household."
"Parts of it were loads of fun, some just straight up trauma porn."
"Y2K was a hoot in my house, we definitely believed it could all end, given all of the televangelists hopping on the doom train."
"The part that shocked me the most, or affected me the most is that you don’t realize until you are older that you really did believe the world would end, well, soon-ish."
"The idea of getting old, worrying about retirement, whether my aspirations would materialize, most of those things seemed more far fetched than the apocalypse did."- rotissrev
Privacy Is A Right, Not A Privilege
"The complete and total lack of privacy in the church vs actually having privacy."
"Besides being roomed with all my siblings and cousin."
"Daily body inspections, spankings, potty time."
"Also being treated like a toddler pretty much 24/7.'
"God forbid we did something without permission.'
"We didn’t address adults as sir or ma’am, calling our parents Mommy and Daddy into our teenage years, having a bedtime, knowing how to do chores but not really knowing why."
"Getting to the real world."
"I knew how wash clothes."
"I didn’t know why I was washing clothes."
"I knew how to wash dishes, I didn’t know why I was."
"If I wasn’t told to do something I would just stand there hopeless."- lighthousek
No matter one's upbringing, the world can be a terrifying place.
Particularly when you set out to face it on your own for the first time.
But the only way to stop being afraid of the world is by exploring all the things it has to offer.
This includes many wonderful things, which should never be hidden by walls and boundaries from anyone.