There's more to tending bar than just making drinks; you gotta monitor the room and make sure people are behaving themselves. This means watching out for people who look like they need to escape, or if someone is acting too aggressive toward another person. Unsurprisingly, dates can turn sour really quickly, and bar staff are often the only ones who can intervene.
PodoTheGreat asked forlorn lovers of Reddit: People who have ordered a bars "safeword" drink to get out of a bad situation, what was your date like and how did the staff help?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Why do men do this?
Had a creeper at a hotel bar who wouldn't leave me alone despite my best efforts to ignore him. I even asked him politely and not so politely to "leave me alone". He actually kept trying to touch me and told me that I was going to go to his room with him. He had a strange angry edge too. So I gave the bartender a "help me" look and said to him something like "I need to talk to you about that thing with my tab, remember?" and asked if could do it when the bar closed (which was like 5 minutes later). He looked at me and said, "Give me a minute", made a phone call and then said, "So, they can help you at the front desk"... meanwhile creeper is literally not leaving me alone is still trying to actually hang on me and keeps talking.
So I start to leave and creeper is trying to kiss me and pull me close but I tell him I have business at the front desk and walk to the front desk. About 3 employees were there and I said "The Bartender said you could help me with my tab?" And one of the employees says "oh, I need you to come here with me to fix that". And she says to the guy "You need to stay here, this is personal business". The employee (a woman) and I start to walk away and of course the creeper followed us. She actually walked me to a staff elevator and he tried to get on with us.
She told him "Get out of here and leave us alone" as a male hotel employee came up to him just then and the elevator door shut. The employee walked me literally to my room door and stayed until I had it locked on the other side.
I have had (and still occasionally do have) guys hit on me but never anything like this incident. I actually wrote a long long email to the hotel corporate office and the actual hotel about the bartender and two employees because they helped me in what I would say was "above and beyond"... the guy really frightened me. I have been as brand loyal as possible to the hotel chain ever since.
Had a bar call 911 once after they bounced a guy who was creeping out a woman. He stood outside the bar and flat out said he was waiting for her until she came out, which he did. He started following her and told people they were together. I literally had to stand with this moron while this poor girl and her friends got into the car, and dipsh*t tried to stand really close so he could get the address. I told the driver her address, but gave the address of the jail, which most taxis know, and he seemed to get the hint. Guy tried to complain later that we had "unlawfully detained" him just so he couldn't get the girls number and address.
I mean... Yeah, basically that's what we did. Move along.
Edit for clarification: I responded to the 911 call, I'm a police officer.
Sometimes it's fun to be the escape.
I've actually been used to escape by a random before. Was at a local bar with a bunch of friends and out of no where girl walks over, sits on my lap and between a teeth clenched smile just said "pretend to know me". I laughed and loudly said "Hey you! Where'd you wonder off to?" Thankfully my friends picked up on it because inside of 10 seconds a few of my female friends were chatting with her and standing between her and the guy she'd fled.
I asked her after what about me made her know I was a safe person to turn to and she said "because you're here with a bunch of women. Total honesty. Thought you were gay." Lol.
Edit: holy crap. Welp. There goes my Reddit silver AND Gold cherry. Ya'll are awesome.
Be careful, or else Angela might send you to Belize.
I had to use it when on a date off tinder. We met up and he had already got me a drink just sat there (shot of something clear) and then said to me that I should do it then he would take me some where better for more fun. I wasn't comfortable so excused my self to the bathroom and saw a poster that said about ask for Angela if you're uncomfortable. Went to the bar and asked for Angela and immidietly this guy was playing along saying oh yeah she's working in kitchen tonight he got me a taxi and walked me out the back door and into the taxi to make sure I got there without any hassle. Never saw the guy again.
Yeah that was my biggest worry, I didn't want to risk it. At the same time I sometimes wonder if he just was super forward but honestly I couldn't tell.
Better safe than sorry; you did the right thing.
Skilled bartenders are masters at reading body language.
Working as a bartender and bouncer for the past couple years, I usually just try to watch for body language of people that are in the bar. If it looks like someone needs a quick escape, I'll approach and pretend I'm an old friend that hasn't seen them in a while, if they actually don't need help, I can excuse myself by saying they look like a friend.
Either that, or I'll try to position myself behind the questionable party and give a thumbs-up and cocked eyebrow as a sort of "You good?".
Edit: Well, thank you to the people who commented on this comment, and thanks to whoever gave me gold! Really awesome of y'all.
Well, this is disturbing.
This is a relatively new thing, but us girls have been doing some form of it for a long time.
Back when I was a bartender, I noticed a girl stumble into the pool table. She was crying and clearly very intoxicated. I went over to ask if she was okay, and some guy I hadn't seen her with all night jumps up and says, "I'm her boyfriend, I've got her." No the f*ck you do not.
We got her to calm down and give us her phone to call her roommate so someone safe could take her home. It sucks that it's necessary, but I'll always love my boss from that bar because he threw that creep out, physically.
We saw her again. She didn't have a boyfriend or remember that night.
Oh, f*ck. That's horrifying.
This is how you do it.
I went out on my own one night and was having a few drinks at a local pub. I had just moved to the area so didn't really know anyone. A guy sat down next to me and was chatting. At first is was just casual but he eventually became really tipsy/handsy. Then the guy actually kissed me just out of the blue and I told him I was not ok with it. He said I was leading him on - which was not the case at all. He got angry and stormed off to the washroom. I was feeling really uncomfortable and unsafe. I didn't know my new neighborhood yet. The bartender saw that I was feeling off right away - he didn't even know me but could tell. He asked if I wanted to be shown out the back door and if they could put me in a cab home so that I could go without the guy following me. They even paid - and apologized that I felt unsafe in their bar. I was totally blown away. I would totally go back there and feel completely taken care of.
That's great—glad they got you out of there. What honest and kind folks to be so vigilant and gracious to you.
It's true! I even went back to that bar last week - both people working remembered my name and just said to shoot them a look if I need anything. So sweet.
Reminder that bouncers are there to keep us safe.
I'm a bouncer in a nightclub. No drink safewords but we actively keep an eye out for situations which don't look above the radar. If a girl's leaving with a guy and she looks too intoxicated to stand I'll take her aside and ask what his name is and how she knows him. If she's scared or needs help getting away from a bad situation I'll call her a cab and walk her too it. I'll also say to the bloke that I need to see some ID because 'his entry stamp isn't the right one' as soon as I see it I'll take a photo, pass it on to the police and ban him for life from out club.
We've built up a reputation as the safest nightclub in our area, which draws both crowds especially girls. It's massively helped our business being so focused on safety.
It's scary that this is even necessary.
My university town had the highest incidents of sexual assault for 5 years in a row, the school and community took it really seriously and implemented procedures all over the place.
I asked my friend, who was a bouncer at my favorite bar/club, what happens when a girl orders the drink. He said it changes week to week in the ladies bathroom to confuse men when word gets out. You can use any of the former ones and the bartenders will jump into action.
Generally they find a way to get you away from that person whether it be a "phone call" or they need to show you something. Once you're out of eye sight they whisk you away to the opposite floor of the place (bar is on the bottom, club is on the top) and keep the date occupied until your gone. If he gets away from his "company" they radio that the drink got spilled and every bouncer abandons their post to try and keep him away from you.
They escort you out the backdoor into a waiting cab. They pay the cabbie to take you home and make sure you're not followed. When you get home they ask that you flick your front porch lights on and off and call the club to let them know you're safe. They also save the security cameras from that day in case you have need of it at a later date.
I never used their service because my friends were the bouncers and usually intervened before I needed to say anything.
Having a gross drink as a safety word? Priceless.
Semi-related, but I was out at the pub on campus for a show, and had been there previously in the day celebrating our last exam with some friends. Some guy who was sitting at a table next to us and trying to chat us up earlier was still there with his buddies and was drunker and braver and of course he got me alone when my friend went to the bathroom.
He wouldn't stop talking to me and getting in my face and yelling about himself and when I excused myself to go to the bar (literally was like "ok bye.") He followed me to the bar and ordered the same thing as I did and offered to pay and I said I was good and he did not. stop. talking. And I must have looked mad as f*ck because the bartender walked over and went "hey you were here earlier right? Buddy give us a second I need to speak with her about her tab." The guy leaves and the bartender tells me I looked distressed and asked if everything was ok, I told him I was fine but this guy was in my personal space and not leaving. So he said if he doesn't stop that I should come back and order a whiskey lemon and security would be notified, and he would walk me back to my car if I needed it.
We ended up moving tables and I think he got too drunk to stand up and left not too long after that but I was so relieved to know the bartender was watching out. I'm not one for confrontation and it just feels so much safer to be able to duck out with someone having my back.
A Whiskey lemon sounds disgusting.
I think the idea is it's a drink that they know no one would ever actually want to order.
Break out the tazers.
I'm a bartender in a small town. Anytime a new woman comes into the bar I let her know that if she ever feels uncomfortable or needs anything to ask me to go out for a smoke with her. I've had plenty of people use it to get away from some just usual creeps. But NOTHING beats the night a guy asked this girl to go home with him. After she politely refused he grabbed her and called her a bitch. We already had our eye on this situation, my bouncer immediately came out of no where and tazed this drunk assh*le.
In case you're wondering, bar staff love saving people.
PSA to the ladies:
I'm a guy who's worked 20 years as a bartender, club manager, and security dude. We LIVE for taking out assh*les. If you ever are having an issue with a guy, date or not, please let anyone there know and I bet they would be thrilled to make the asshole go away (or put you safely in a car)
When I used to hear after the fact about incidents in the club where a patron was harassed I alway wish I would have known what was going down--- staff will usually gladly step in.
Former bouncer here. Totally agreed. Some of my funniest and best stories come from those days when I got to kick out the drunken moron.
Please tell someone. You've never seen an adult's eyes light up until you get to see a bouncer told to go play with the idiot.
A few rescue stories.
I had a creep corner me in a bar once and tried to stroke my thigh. I dude I've never met before came up and said "hey sis I've been looking all over for you!" And he put his arm around me and walked me out. Thank you so much stranger.
Edit: since I'm seeing a lot of comments about this. It was pretty obvious they were not working together. The nice guy walked over from a group of friends (all college aged) and the creep was in his fifties. And when I said he walked me out, he just walked me to the door of the bar.
I once got hugged by a random girl sitting at a bar who whispered in my ear (or actually talked normally; the music was loud) "pretend to be my boyfriend." I grabbed her on the thigh and yelled "honey I've been lookin' for you!" The guy who hit on her gave me the sorry, had no idea it was your girl-look and then she asked me to dance. She pulled me into the crowd and we danced for like 30 seconds and she gave a me a smile and she left. Never saw her again but I felt like a f*cking hero. Very small thing I did but I felt great.
I had a similar situation in college. A creepy guy followed me around a frat party all night. He was in a history class with me, and all night he kept trying to push himself against me or stroke my hair and neck. I was backed into a corner by a door, and I grabbed the arm of the next guy that came through and asked him to pretend he was my boyfriend to escape. He played along, and he kept the creeper away from me for the rest of the night. So much appreciation for guys who are willing to help out on these situations.
My fake boyfriend became by real boyfriend, and 8 years later we are now married.
Bars and clubs should have safe words or coded drinks.
Female bartender chiming in. In the decade I've been doing this, most bars I've worked in don't have a safe word or drink. I've worked in 3 major cities with large universities and bar districts and not one I've ever seen.
I consider keeping patrons safe a large part of my job, especially working at clubs or at music festivals. I'm watching anyone that gives me a weird vibe or people that are obviously on a newish date and most other bartenders that give a shit do the same. There's a "look" other women will give when they need help. Either cornered into a conversation they obviously want out of or trying to turn down free drinks from some guy that won't take no for an answer.
That's when I just go over and pretend I'm bussing or wiping the bar and make eye contact with her until she gets I've got an understanding of what's going on, then I just ask her how she's "doing" in a tone that also conveys I'm there to help if need be. If her answer is weird or she keeps eye contact too long with me, or in a "please don't leave" kinda way, I immediately get security and try and get her an Uber if she's tipsy, or find her friends. I do everything I can to make sure they get home. I unfortunately can tell so many stories of drugged/drunk girls completely out and having to literally keep men away from them because they all swear they'll get her home safely or that they know her or her friends.
So ladies, you can always tell your bartender literally anything is going on. We consider the workplace kind of ours and don't want any bad shit happening to anyone that comes in. Just tell us and we'll help you.
Edit: y'all, my username's a joke.
Also, as u/dirtybitsxxx pointed out we do really live for throwing assh*les the f*ck out. If they really deserve it, it makes security's night.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Ehhh this is a "close but not quite" situation but it may get attention due to the lack of legit responses.
A guy I was with was with was SUPER adamant about me keeping up with him slamming drinks. He would drag me to the bar and order for me, then egg me on to drink faster, etc. I did NOT want to be drunk with him.
He ordered me a vodka soda and I maintained that slightly pained look on my face, hoping to catch the bartenders attention. When he looked my way, I widened my eyes just a little and subtly shook my head "no".
I watched him as he poured me drink by faking the vodka pour and just filling me with what I presume was soda water (not normally my drink of choice so I wasn't sure what it was - kinda looked like stale Sprite) and he garnished it with a lime and everything. Said "cheers" when he handed us our drinks.
This continued for a while until Drunky McSmashypants wanted to leave. Bartender said to me "oh you had asked about seeing Megan, right?! Yeah she's in the back, go ahead while he closes out"
I sort of hovered by the restrooms which were tucked away, watched the bartender BS with the dude for a while, and he eventually left lookin all annoyed. When the coast was clear, I came out, said my thank yous, and he said "anytime, happens more than we care to admit" so I thought it was pretty cool that the bartenders were aware enough to pick up on the little signs and help a sister out. I guess during their conversation he basically convinced the dude that I didn't seem into it and he thought he saw me leave already. Drunk dude was druuuuuunk so I guess he bought it without further intervention necessary.
There are some questions that illustrate such vulnerability, such open tragedy on the part of the asker that we fend off tears while we come up with an appropriate answer.
Sometimes the question comes from someone who's been so steeped in struggle that they need help understanding that another possible reality exists.
Sometimes it's a question that cuts right to our own core with startling efficiency.
Whatever form it takes, it stops us in our tracks and we're likely to remember it for quite awhile after.
Curious to hear the saddest examples, Redditor julylovestory asked:
"What question has someone asked you that secretly broke your heart?"
Many Redditors responded by sharing the sad questions uttered by young children.
Kids just have the knack for cutting straight through to the essence of it all.
A Tragic Conscientiousness
"As we passed the toy aisle at the store, 'I know you don't have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?' "
"I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store."
Puzzled and Sad
"First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time."
"I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom."
"Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice 'l thought you were coming with,' followed by an even sadder quieter 'Why did you leave me?' "
" 'Can I wish for my sister?' - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures."
How Bad Must It Be?
"I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself."
"He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid's mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help."
"The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom."
"As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said 'can I just come home with you? I don't like my mom.' "
"I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I'll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty shi**y childhood."
"I mean, the store wasn't busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?"
"It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude."
Others talked about the times when they or somebody else realized just how tragic their own circumstances were.
"My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up."
"Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question."
Seeing Another Version
"During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says 'Is that what a normal relationship is like?' "
"We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did 'guy stuff.' "
"Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fu**ed, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to."
"My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how 'abnormal' my very normal family/childhood was."
A Better Place
" 'You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?'
"My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that"
And some people discussed the time a question destroyed their social confidence.
Worst Teacher Ever
"I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that fu**ing broke my 13 year old heart."
"No one takes stuttering seriously."
There's the Answer
"When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, 'can we be like secret friends or something? I don't really hang out with people like you.' "
"Never hung out again."
Comparing and Contrasting
" 'Oh, are you the girl with the hot sister ?' " -- JustehOK
"I worked in a department with two Melissas. One day, I was sitting next to one Melissa when we overheard another coworker say to someone, 'have you seen little Melissa?' "
"The other Melissa got kind of a defeated look in her eye and said, 'oh, I'm big Melissa.' " -- EarhornJones
It's a list that's sad enough to leave one wondering about the questions they've received that struck them as particularly hopeless.
Sometimes, though, that vulnerability can be the start of accepting new realities and new possibilities.
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If you live on this earth and you're fortunate enough to form long-lasting relationships with different people, chances are you'll know the pain of heartbreak. It's an unavoidable fact of life.
We are not guaranteed to stay with one person forever, as we were reminded once Redditor disturbance of mirrors asked the online community,
"People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?"
"The last time..."
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time.
We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive 6 hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple of hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back.
That relationship f***** me up for a while but, once I began dating my now fiancee, it was unbelievable to me how wonderful a real, loving relationship with healthy communication can be."
"Her brother was living with us..."
"Mine was not a slow burn like most seem to be, but a very definitive moment.
Her brother was living with us and this was right when WiFi was becoming available to the general public. We couldn't afford it cuz we were broke kids, so her brother would take my GF's MacBook (it was a gift) and sit on a nearby bus bench and leech off someone's unsecured WiFi.
Well, one day we get a call from her sister and she says we need to get home immediately. Turns out some guys came up and asked him for change for a $20 and when he told them he didn't have it they tried to snatch the Mac and jump in their car.
He knew it wasn't his so he held onto it and tried to get it back but they were too much. He had gotten dragged by the car, kicked in the head, and then had his leg run over. He was in pretty bad shape.
As we turn the corner (didn't know what had happened yet) GF sees cop cars and an ambulance and says "This better not have anything to do with my Mac. We walk in and he's visibly in bad shape and she is just immediately "Did you lose my Mac?" I'll never forget his face. He was so ashamed and felt terrible and just started crying. She however started screaming my computer! My computer! And hitting him. To the point where the cops considered arresting her. It was an instant eye-opener."
"I'd sit in my car..."
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
That would do it.
"I would find any excuse..."
"I would find any excuse to work late or sometimes go sit at a bar by myself just to avoid the misery at home. We divorced."
"He was a workaholic..."
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about 6 days per month."
"Somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
That's no way to live.
"It really forced us..."
"Honestly it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space but once those distractions were taken away it was just really clear to me that we were more roommates than a couple."
"When I realized..."
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy."
This one hurts. I've been there myself. (And I have also been that person––I thankfully got help.)
"We lived together..."
"We lived together but lived completely separate lives. Basically a housemate I shared a bed with. Happened twice to me so far."
"I would have moved mountains for him..."
"I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier and he just continuously put himself in shi!ty situations. I eventually just gave up. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves. Thank God that's over."
If you think you might be stuck in a pointless or unhealthy relationship, it's worth evaluating your options. And it's never worth sticking around and risking your emotional and mental health.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The DraftEpisode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Muchrhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphy
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Sweet...Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by EmmerdaleGiphy
Damn man why bring this up.
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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What are the odds you'd click on this link today?
What was the biggest coincidence that made you question the fabric of reality?
There's small coincidences, occurrences so minute that you wouldn't even notice them if you weren't paying attention. However, once someone makes a big deal out of them then there's no other choice but to acknowledge that what just happened was spectacular.
Each Having A Buddy Coming To Town
"My friend and I were on a road trip a few years ago and needed a place to stay. We both told each other we had a friend in the city we were going through, so we figured we'd be able to crash with one of them. Turns out our two friends were roommates and had both been telling each other that they had a friend coming to town soon."
What's That Got To Be? A 1 in 1000 Chance?
"Several years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and one of them had an ipad, another friend went to unlock it and asked him what his 4 digit unlock code was, so I just blurted out 4 random digits pretending like I knew it, and it actually worked. I had never unlocked it before or knew of the same numbers being used for anything else, or his phone number, etc."
Both Probably Assumed What The Best Time Was
"I passed out after receiving a flu shot when I was 28. The nurse who helped me up kept asking if I wanted my mom. It seemed like a really weird thing to offer an adult woman - the option to have her mother phoned and brought in - so I was really confused and getting progressively more annoyed at her repeatedly asking...
...until my mom walked up to me. She had the appointment after mine to get vaccinated. The nurses assumed we had come together, but neither of us knew about the other's appointment, and we lived an hour away from each other in different cities."
Living in such a big world can lead you to the conclusion that math is silly and odds are never in your favor. With over seven billion people roaming around, chances of meeting someone of significance?
Less than you think.
A Simultaneous Love Of Traveling
"This guy I went to grade school and high school with, an acquaintance at best. I've seen him in 5 different locations in different countries throughout the last 15 years.
Disney World when I was a kid.
Some beach bar in Thailand.
The Bean in Chicago.
A pub in Budapest.
A library in San Jose, Costa Rica.
We've become friends due our love of traveling, but neither of us post on social media and neither of us communicated with each other our plans to travel. We never talked outside of the random meetings. Now if I see him, its like the world wants us to have a beer together. haha"
"I Mean, The Crash, Yeah, But How Have You Been?"
"My dad lives in a national park here in Australia. It's farmland that's grandfathered in. It's the remnants of a volcano that blew itself up very violently, so it's very hilly terrain.
One day we were sitting out on the deck, when we see a hang-glider come down halfway down the valley, and it didn't look like a nice landing. "Sh-t, we better see if he's alright, they don't land anywhere near here"
So we get in the car, drive for about 10 minutes to reach the spot. We head over to the guy who is standing by a very damaged glider. The pilot is staring at us incredulously, he stammers "F-ck, Jack, is that you?".
My dad, who hasn't seen his childhood friend for 35 years shouts "F-ck, Tim, is that you?".
They both grew up in Greymouth, NZ. Found each other randomly after a glider crash in NSW, Australia."
Takes A Wedding To Bring People Together
"My wife and I were looking to hire a caterer for our wedding and when we met, my wife and her started talking about their lives a bit.
Turns out they had both literally grown up on the same street, in a city of 10 million people, on the other side of the world. Both had left the city around a decade before immigrating to our current country.
They knew the same people, had hung out at the same coffee place, attended the same church. They even used to grab mangoes off the same large tree that hung over the wall of one of the large houses in the neighbourhood.
But they had never met one another until meeting on almost the exact opposite side of the planet, in a small town of about 50,000 people."kor_hookmaster
What we can gain from these experiences is a coincidence will occur more than you think, you just have to have the eyes sharp enough to spot them.
But how would you explain these?
Position Is Key
"I dialed my mum on my mobile when I was on public transport and accidentally swapped two numbers around.
The person I called was on the same carriage."
"Go on, tell us what happened then!"
"So I was listening to my phone and at the exact moment it started the ringing sound I heard a phone start ringing and I thought it was a coincidence but then the phone answered and it wasn't mum.
All I said was "Oh, are you on the Upfield train?" and they said "Yes, who's this?" but I got shy and I hung up.
Poor guy must have been so confused."
Universal Echoes Bringing You Closer Together
"One time, me and my dad were discussing his friend while out driving at night without many other cars on the road. As we were talking, we pulled up to a red light, and the car waiting in front was my dad's friend. He didn't even live close to there."
Extremely Unlucky Odds. Go Buy A Lottery Ticket.
"A couple of years ago I was visiting my hometown and decided to sit on a bench at my favorite park. As I was sitting, I felt something land on my head. Bird poop. After heading home and washing my hair, I went back into town. While I walked around, I watched as a guy got hit with a drop of sky sh-t. As I was laughing about the apparent irritable bowel syndrome of the birds in my town, a bird flying right over me drops a fat sh-t on my head."
There's no magic at play. All of these happenstances can be explained away with simple math and rudimentary probability.
Still, it's fun to live when you're in the moment.