People Who Have Actually Taken A Life Disclose How It Really Affected Them
Life is fragile. That's a realization that hits all of us at different points. One moment, you're here, the next, you're gone.
Unfortunately sometimes the loss of life is caused by human error. And for the people who are on the other side of that life, the people who caused the death--it can be one of the most trying and difficult experiences of their own lives. We don't often get to hear those stories.
u/AlwaysTheNoob asked:
Here were some of those dark answers.
Ghosts Of The Past
A 12-year-old boy rode his bike in front of my car and died. It messed me up for a long time. I definitely had PTSD. I did a lot of drugs to compensate. I didn't invest in having a good future because I didn't feel like I deserved one. I still don't but now I have a family and they deserve a good future so I make an effort. When my kid got to 12 I thought about it a lot. She's 14 now. I know the accident wasn't my fault but it still feels like it was. I already had some depression before that happened and after it's been a regular battle. There are days where just getting out of bed is a major victory. Over time the guilt and depression have lessened and I have tools to deal with them but it's still something that haunts me.
Professional Help Is Essential
I homeless man jumped out from some parked cars and I hit him. It was raining and at night, and the blood mixed with the water made it looks like a literal blood bath. I could smell the mix of booze and blood in the air.
I had a hard time the first couple of days, then thought I was good. Went back to work but had 0 motivation, 0 energy, 0 emotions, I was just a shell of a person. I had a mental breakdown at the office, they had to call my parents, I was almost 30.
I began doing extreme things to get emotions back. Sabotaging my job, vandalizing property at night, things like that. Anything to get some feelings back.
I knew it wasn't my fault, that the dude was drunk and jumped out in front of the car and I couldn't have really done anything different, but as others have said, if I hadn't been there, this wouldn't have happened. It's a weird process to go through.
I should have gone to therapy much, much sooner. Eventually, after a couple of years it kind of just went to the back of my head, forgotten, but whenever some other crisis happened in my life, it would be compounded by this. I lost a good job, some friends, eventually, compounded with other problems I didn't deal with, I lost my wife.
I finally decided to get help, and while I know there's a lot of work to still be done, I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere with dealing with this, and other issues. Nobody wants to be on the hook for taking someone else's life, but if it does happen, make sure you seek professional help. Don't let one life being taken away cause your own life to be taken too.
A Shortened Range
Was driving to the mall one evening, a car made a left turn crossing my lanes, causing me to t-bone them. Teenage boy in their passenger seat and my girlfriend in my passenger seat both passed away. This was almost 20 years ago, I've since married and I have 2 sons, and mostly, I'm just numb. It's not that I don't care about things, but I don't experience true happiness all that much and just have an ambivalence I never had before that day. I've moved in most ways but my emotional range has never really recovered.
Don't Trust The Trust
Back in 2012 u worked in a mental hospital (UK) I was tasked to get a patient up, showered and dressed in the morning. I took him down to the dining room gave him some toast and left him too go on observations.
I walked down to the staff room to get the folder and walked to his dorm. As I went to leave he walked in looking very distressed. He was choking on some toast, I tried to help by back slaps and stomach compressions. He kept walking to his bed and tried to lie down that he did a few times and each time I picked him up to try and clear his airway. He clasped on his bed and I hit the panic alarm as I was trying to still clear his airway. Other staff took what felt like ages to arrive and later was informed that the alarm system had never been changed and was showing the wrong room and bed. He died in the hospital.
I was riddled with guilt. What was worse was his wife had been also brought in to the hospital and was on the female ward at the time this happened.
When I spoke to the solicitor for the Trust after giving my statement to the police. she informed me I would be looking at 20+ years for murder or best case scenario would be manslaughter.
I was never arrested by the police or placed under caution when I gave my statement. She got it in to her head that I was and that a Coroner would find me guilty. From there I would be arrested and charged. For ages I felt like I was being used as a scapegoat for failings and went into a spiral of depression. My stepfather at the time was an ex criminal solicitor and was trying to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about with her allegations. She never spoke to the Trust about me or the police but she kept on saying I killed him. Before the hearing started she told me to get my story straight this was in ear shot of my mum and sister. We put in a complaint just minutes be it started. During the hearing she was reprimanded by the Coroner several times as she kept objecting to questions being asked. The coroner stated it was not a criminal court and the police investigated and found no person responsible for his death. The next day I took the stand and gave my statement and answered all questions. The solicitor for the Trust never asked me a single question.
It was the most stressful and upsetting time of my life.
I have the opposite. I regret trying to save a life.
Im a nurse and I had a patient who was way into her late 80s. Had multiple issues. Had very advanced cancer with mets. She was very weak and had advanced dementia. Couldn't even tell me her name.Very debilitated and underweight.
Well her family was very conflicted in making her a DNR. Half her family wanted it, the other didn't want any more measures taken. Unfortunately the daughter with the medical power of attorney was the one wanting everything done.
It was late in my shift. I was working a night shift so daughter was asleep on the couch. I had noticed the patient was declining in status. Very rapidly. This poor frail 40kg women should have went peacefully. For a split second i told myself to pretend I didn't notice the decline and let her pass in her sleep.
Instead I panicked and began CPR. Daughter woke up and insisted we do everything. I was doing compressions with one hand, could hear the snaps and crunch of her ribs. Her mouth was foaming blood as we intubated her. Her eyes blood shot staring blankly at the ceiling. Her face sheet white and cold. Yet we continued to assault this poor soul because we were legally obligated to do so. She later passed the next day. We had prolonged her suffering by a day. Forced her under the agony of a ventilator.
Her death haunts me. I regret not letting her pass with dignity.
A Rare Situation
I was 19, first apartment, i had been moved in a few days and my roommates had gone out of town for the weekend, i had just bought a shotgun at a pawn shop because the neighborhood was pretty rough. I wake up around 2:30am to the front door being kicked in, i jumped up, grabbed the gun, and look down the hall, i see a guy walk into the living room, (my room was straight to the back from the door) i yelled to get the hell out because i had a gun, he turned, raised a pistol, i just started shooting as fast as i could pump it, fired five rounds and hit him with two or three before he got out the door, and took off. Neighbor heard the shots and called 911, police followed the blood trail into a backyard about a block away. He died on the way to the hospital, apparently was high as hell on meth when he broke in. It bothered me for a long time, but at the end of the day, in my eyes, it was him or me. Hope to never be in a situation like that again.
The Sad Tensions
Probably not the answer your looking for but my mom and twin sister died when i was born. My sister was going to struggle they knew that she might not make it but my mom started bleeding and they couldnt stop it. My oldest brother said my dad was different before. I know my dad loves me but theres always this weird feeling between us.
Life As A business
I've effectively killed plenty of people as a former ITU nurse (I lost count after a while, but I worked in a number of major trauma centres, so quite a few). All the evidence indicated that they were going to die, but by extubatung (pulling their breathing tube out), switching off their ventilator and life-sustaining drugs, I was the one who expedited their death.
To be honest, it never seemed to bother me as much as a lot of my colleagues. We'd often get support if we'd had a lot of deaths over a short-term period, and we'd have to go through all our feelings; but I'd usually end up giving them the answers they wanted to hear, because they wouldn't really get that I genuinely was fine.
Most days if you had a death you'd end up with another patient shortly after. I'd support the relatives as much as I could and wouldn't want them to feel in any way rushed, but my focus after they left would be on admitting and stabilising a new patient.
Frozen
I don't know if it counts as "taking a life" but I do feel responsible. I was in 5th grade and visiting my grandfather, there was no one in the house but us. He started having a stroke or a heart attack and he was reaching towards me because the home phone was near me. I just froze and watched him die, hours later I didn't even call the police or my parents. I've come to be very anxious when I see an elderly person and I try to avoid them, which has damaged the relationship between me and my grandparents that are still alive. I'm also a bit anxious when I'm in a house alone with one person, my boyfriend has been wanting me to move in with him but I prefer living at my parents' house with my parents and siblings.
Simply Trying To Help
I'm a nurse and my preferred specialty is hospice. The medications for pain relief we give also slow respiration and aid in the bodies natural process of death. So by giving these I essentially take a life. As a hospice nurse I have also been bedside for people who do not want these medications. 9 times out of 10 I feel relieved giving these medications and helping it along because death is a painful process. I feel that it is a way I can care for them and send them off loved and comfortable so I do not feel guilt at all.
People Describe The Exact Moment They Realized Their Friends Were A-Holes
Everyone has friends who you become less and less close to with each passing year.
This isn't always by choice, though, but simply by circumstance, when your lives both take different directions.
In some cases, however, we do find ourselves making a very conscious decision to stop spending time with certain friends.
Owing to the fact that these people might not be our friends after all.
In certain cases, the communication ends as the result of one specific moment.
Redditor D1Tytos was curious to hear the triggering moment when people decided to end their friendships, leading them to ask:
"What's the moment that made you realize your so called 'friends' were really just d*cks?"
Lack of Compassion
"When I got cancer and they never checked on me."- justagirlx19
Being Taken Advantage Of
"Worked with and rented a large house with my friend group after high school."
"Dumb and inexperienced with life, I didn’t know they were lying to me about bills and making me pay more/whatever they felt like until a family member asked about it."
"Eventually they all looked at moving into a new place without telling me."
"I felt guilty and confessed they would basically steal my money to shop with and planned on moving out while I was visiting family so I came back to an empty place and responsible for everything."- dylandbloom
"I found myself getting irritated whenever they called/hit me up."
"Because every time they'd only ask for something , never just to talk to hang out."- ybbetter_ratio
Happy Birthday Indeed...
"The last time I tried throwing a birthday party for myself."
"It always seemed like the ratio of people who said they'd come to people who actually showed was...lacking."
"But my final attempt."
"I had 20+ people say they'd show."
"Exactly one actually came."
"I've never had a birthday party since."
"But I'm still good friends with the one guy who showed."- Lachwen
Unkind Exclusion
"They asked to not have one of the people in our group over."
"They didn't want to tell him there was no game, they just wanted him to knock and pretend no one was there."
"I wasn't very cool with this but they didn't want to be 'confrontational' with said person."
"Before the next week rolled around they were saying 'there wasn't going to be anything going on' that Saturday."
"I knew they were full of sh*t, but went by to confirm they were all there that Saturday, and sure enough they all were."
"Just dropped them like a sack of potatoes and never spoke to them again, no reason to."- MickCollins
True Colors
"Had 3 friends."
"2 I liked and 1 I didn't really like at all."
"Turns out they had a secret group chat where they just called me slurs and talked about me behind my back."
"The guy I didn't like sent me screenshots of this and me and him have been friends 3 years now."- c_a_t2·
Blurred Perceptions
"When I stopped drinking and realized that’s all we had holding our friendship together."- BillieBoJangers·
Unreliable
"I remember I was severely depressed and I called someone I thought was my friend."
"When he realized I wanted to talk about real sh*t he made up an excuse to hang up."
"After that he kept ignoring my calls."
"What's crazy is I was there for that dude when his wife left him for another guy."
"There were times where I wanted to escape his depressing stories, but sat there and listened because he was my friend."- horsetoothjack@ss119
Ungrateful
"Couples retreat of 3 pairs, other 2 girlfriends flaked last minute, leaving mine."
"They still came, then had the nerve to tell mine the trip would’ve been better without her right to her face when I was out surfing."
"This was never established as a guys trip at any point."
"She fed them, organized the trip as a whole, etc."
"Losers."- SwingmanSealegz
Provoking Others
"Guy lies about his well-being being bad cus he loves how worried someone reacts."
"I called him out on it when he lied to someone else and he literally said 'I enjoy winding people up, I love how they react when I say x'."
"That's gross to me."- PastaNotFound
Ending a friendship is never pleasant.
But time heals everything, and over the course of a couple months, it might become evidently clear how much better off your life is without certain people in it.
We all have songs that we can't get out of our heads, resulting in our randomly humming them while walking down the street.
Among the most infectious songs are theme songs to TV shows.
Be it from tuning in every week to catch up with Friends who will always" be there for [us]", or being "stuck in the middle" of a Grace And Frankie binge, we often find ourselves humming the theme songs of our favorite shows more often than we find ourselves quoting the best lines.
Even if it means humming an infectious melody to a wordless piece of music (Will & Grace or Seinfeld anyone?)
Redditor LinksOtherUncle was curious to hear what people considered the all time greatest theme song to a TV show, leading them to ask:
"What is the greatest TV Show theme song of all-time?"
"Whoo-oo"...
"Duck Tales, of course."- Beautiful-Stranger20
"Believe It Or Not It's Just Me!"
"Greatest American Hero!"- GayHole
"Bum Bum BUM bum...bum bum BUM BUM bum bum bum..."
"Sanford and Son"- jkulpa
The Original MCU
"90s X-Men."- Ourobius
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale..."
"Gilligan's Island"- Cantbetoobad1953
Bored Gilligans Island GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy"It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights..."
"The Muppet Show theme song!"- Poorkiddonegood8541
"A World Of Criminals Who Operate Above The Law"
"Knight Rider!"- BladeBronson
"Heroes in a half-shell, TURTLE POWER!"
"The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon theme."- Petulant_Platypus
ninja turtles GIF by Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesGiphy"You want to go where everybody knows your name."
"Cheers."- Big-Significance3604
The only thing more comforting than turning on our TVs to revisit a familiar town with familiar characters, is the comforting familiar music which greets us on our return.
People Explain Which Bits Of Common Knowledge They Learned Way Too Late In Life
Who hasn't had a moment when they learned what they thought was a revelatory piece of information, ran to share it with their friends, and were then greeted by a barrage of stone faces?
Owing to the fact that what we only just learned a few minutes ago, was apparently common knowledge.
These include your favorite movie star was in fact the offspring of another movie star, what gelatin is actually made of, or little tricks and strategies which make certain experiences so much more pleasurable.
For no particular reason, some people learn these things far later than just about everyone else.
Redditor Big_Piccolo_8369 was curious to learn which bits of common knowledge people were late to the party in knowing, leading them to ask:
"What is common knowledge that you found out way too late?"
Strategic Planning
"Always eat before shopping at Costco."- mtl_jim
Sometimes Silence Is Golden
"Just because I hold an opinion on something doesn't mean that I need to share it."
"I spent WAY too much of my early adulthood inserting my viewpoint into discussions that I wasn't really a part of."- xjuggernaughtx
How To Keep Friendships Strong
"Simply asking 'how are you' once in awhile is all it takes to not fall apart from old friends."- a_burdie_from_hell
Know Your Worth
"Hard work isn’t always the answer."
"When I worked a minimum wage job, I would work hard and not take breaks, so a great job, and always finish early."
"I just then got told to pick up the slack for the employees who spent their time goofing off."
"Never got a promotion, raise, or even a 'hey, good job'."- Disco-Onion
Think Twice Before Lending Money
"That when people ask to borrow money especially if it's a friend or family just expect to never see it again."- Different-Chest-5716
Loan Borrow GIFGiphySpotting Charlatans
Being well-educated in one area doesn't mean that a person can't be a total idiot in other areas."- Red-belliedOrator
Never Make Decisions When Angry
"'Every action made in anger ends in sorrow'."
"An attorney, when I was 24."- yours121110
"Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings."- Yoschnitzel
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphyThe Importance Of Sleep
"Going too long without sleep can impair your ability to drive the same way as drinking too much alcohol."- SuvenPan
We're all bound to be looked down upon every now and then for just learning something everyone else already knows.
Though always remember, the wisest ones are those who never want to stop learning.
I'm a simple person when it comes to video games.
I prefer to go with nostalgia.
All of these fancy deals put me on sensory overload.
But my goodness the technology really has come a long way.
And there are actual storylines and drama.
Good for y'all gamers.
Redditor TolisKoutrowanted everyone to list their thoughts on the greatest of the great.
"What video game do you consider a masterpiece?"
I love you Ms. Pac-Man. Always and forever.
It's a Ride
video game physics jet GIFGiphy"Roller Coaster Tycoon 2."
Icy_Entrepreneur_859
"Loved RCT2. The canned child laughing sound and the chain lifts noise are permanently burned into my brain."
Career-Known
my whole childhood...
"Man I miss Valve... Their games were designed in a way many developers could only dream of, they were revolutionary in almost everything they laid their hands on."
johnbacosta
"Yeah that’s my whole childhood, still some of the best games… and actually playing HL- alyx for my very first VR experience was nuts. Loved it."
dub3ra
"They made a new game based in the Portal universe. It’s really short but it’s free and funny."
Advanced_Position_25
Better than Perfect
"Portal 2."
Natural-School5690
For real. The first one was absolutely perfect and then they somehow managed to make the second one even better."
Jack_Mackerel
"Portal 1's only fault is that it's very short. I just replayed it a decade since I last touched it and I cleared it in under 2 hours. Portal 2 had so much more room to add more mechanics, more puzzles, and more story. It's the perfect sequel."
YossarianWWII
Classic
"Half Life 2 was brilliant. After that I'd call out WoW Classic. It's hated now, but the first couple of years it was magic. It was a completely new experience exploring such a massive open world and nobody knew anything. So much fun on Ventrilo. Will remember forever. Championship manager in the early 90s. Maybe what I have played the most. I'll mention Fallout series, Witcher and Skyrim as well."
Joppe84
Simply the Best
Movie Raise The Roof GIF by Star WarsGiphy"Star Wars knights of the old Republic. KOTOR. Surprised it hasn’t been said."
gerbs650
"Absolutely! I played it as a kid and it practically taught me life lessons. KOTOR 2 is a little darker but quite good also."
Lensk
How can you even tell any of the Star Wars games apart?
FAVE!!
Episode 8 Mario GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Super Mario World. It’s perfect. I don’t think there’s a single thing about it that I would change."
AdevilSboyU
"That game is awesome. That and Mario 64. But I love the soundtrack from Yoshi’s Island."
HmGrwnSnc1984
Options
"Deus Ex the first one."
Funkyouup82
"At the time the open ended options and story presentation were both really impressive. You could really appreciate that the developer committed to that (e.g. you could physically destroy most locked doors). I think a lot of games stop short of doing that because they don’t want to allow brute force solutions in addition to more elegant ones."
NewKitchenFixtures
"Journey. Not as long and vast as many games here but an artistic masterpiece in my books. It’ll age much better than most games too because of the simplicity."
justthisones
"I absolutely love journey; the music mixed with the visual story telling is absolutely stunning. Also it has, imo, one of the most interesting multiplayer experiences of any game."
"It’s def one of my top three games, but Gris’ artwork and music are peak for me. Also if you really enjoyed the exploration of Journey, you’ll probably love Outer Wilds. Great game, it’ll leave you wishing you could forget it and play it all again."
SynnamonSunset
Play NOW!
"Chrono Trigger, if you know you know, and if you don't, go play it immediately."
sketchypoutine
"Definitely, I feel like some of the best RPGs came from the SNES and Sega era. Chrono Trigger, FF 6, Secret of Mana, super Mario RPG, Earthbound, shining force 2, Phantasy Star 4. Still some of my favorites that i try to revisit every year or so."
chrono_bound20xx
"Came here for Chrono. Time travel just makes for amazing stories, and I love how you can make the game different each play through."
anna1781
i can see your...
Master Chief Game GIF by HaloGiphy"Halo 3. Incredible story and thrilling gameplay. Hilariously fun multiplayer. Fantastic community. Nostalgia."
Current-Ad1250
Video games have surely come a long way from Atari.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.