People Who Have Actually Taken A Life Disclose How It Really Affected Them
Life is fragile. That's a realization that hits all of us at different points. One moment, you're here, the next, you're gone.
Unfortunately sometimes the loss of life is caused by human error. And for the people who are on the other side of that life, the people who caused the death--it can be one of the most trying and difficult experiences of their own lives. We don't often get to hear those stories.
u/AlwaysTheNoob asked:
Here were some of those dark answers.
Ghosts Of The Past
A 12-year-old boy rode his bike in front of my car and died. It messed me up for a long time. I definitely had PTSD. I did a lot of drugs to compensate. I didn't invest in having a good future because I didn't feel like I deserved one. I still don't but now I have a family and they deserve a good future so I make an effort. When my kid got to 12 I thought about it a lot. She's 14 now. I know the accident wasn't my fault but it still feels like it was. I already had some depression before that happened and after it's been a regular battle. There are days where just getting out of bed is a major victory. Over time the guilt and depression have lessened and I have tools to deal with them but it's still something that haunts me.
Professional Help Is Essential
I homeless man jumped out from some parked cars and I hit him. It was raining and at night, and the blood mixed with the water made it looks like a literal blood bath. I could smell the mix of booze and blood in the air.
I had a hard time the first couple of days, then thought I was good. Went back to work but had 0 motivation, 0 energy, 0 emotions, I was just a shell of a person. I had a mental breakdown at the office, they had to call my parents, I was almost 30.
I began doing extreme things to get emotions back. Sabotaging my job, vandalizing property at night, things like that. Anything to get some feelings back.
I knew it wasn't my fault, that the dude was drunk and jumped out in front of the car and I couldn't have really done anything different, but as others have said, if I hadn't been there, this wouldn't have happened. It's a weird process to go through.
I should have gone to therapy much, much sooner. Eventually, after a couple of years it kind of just went to the back of my head, forgotten, but whenever some other crisis happened in my life, it would be compounded by this. I lost a good job, some friends, eventually, compounded with other problems I didn't deal with, I lost my wife.
I finally decided to get help, and while I know there's a lot of work to still be done, I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere with dealing with this, and other issues. Nobody wants to be on the hook for taking someone else's life, but if it does happen, make sure you seek professional help. Don't let one life being taken away cause your own life to be taken too.
A Shortened Range
Was driving to the mall one evening, a car made a left turn crossing my lanes, causing me to t-bone them. Teenage boy in their passenger seat and my girlfriend in my passenger seat both passed away. This was almost 20 years ago, I've since married and I have 2 sons, and mostly, I'm just numb. It's not that I don't care about things, but I don't experience true happiness all that much and just have an ambivalence I never had before that day. I've moved in most ways but my emotional range has never really recovered.
Don't Trust The Trust
Back in 2012 u worked in a mental hospital (UK) I was tasked to get a patient up, showered and dressed in the morning. I took him down to the dining room gave him some toast and left him too go on observations.
I walked down to the staff room to get the folder and walked to his dorm. As I went to leave he walked in looking very distressed. He was choking on some toast, I tried to help by back slaps and stomach compressions. He kept walking to his bed and tried to lie down that he did a few times and each time I picked him up to try and clear his airway. He clasped on his bed and I hit the panic alarm as I was trying to still clear his airway. Other staff took what felt like ages to arrive and later was informed that the alarm system had never been changed and was showing the wrong room and bed. He died in the hospital.
I was riddled with guilt. What was worse was his wife had been also brought in to the hospital and was on the female ward at the time this happened.
When I spoke to the solicitor for the Trust after giving my statement to the police. she informed me I would be looking at 20+ years for murder or best case scenario would be manslaughter.
I was never arrested by the police or placed under caution when I gave my statement. She got it in to her head that I was and that a Coroner would find me guilty. From there I would be arrested and charged. For ages I felt like I was being used as a scapegoat for failings and went into a spiral of depression. My stepfather at the time was an ex criminal solicitor and was trying to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about with her allegations. She never spoke to the Trust about me or the police but she kept on saying I killed him. Before the hearing started she told me to get my story straight this was in ear shot of my mum and sister. We put in a complaint just minutes be it started. During the hearing she was reprimanded by the Coroner several times as she kept objecting to questions being asked. The coroner stated it was not a criminal court and the police investigated and found no person responsible for his death. The next day I took the stand and gave my statement and answered all questions. The solicitor for the Trust never asked me a single question.
It was the most stressful and upsetting time of my life.
I have the opposite. I regret trying to save a life.
Im a nurse and I had a patient who was way into her late 80s. Had multiple issues. Had very advanced cancer with mets. She was very weak and had advanced dementia. Couldn't even tell me her name.Very debilitated and underweight.
Well her family was very conflicted in making her a DNR. Half her family wanted it, the other didn't want any more measures taken. Unfortunately the daughter with the medical power of attorney was the one wanting everything done.
It was late in my shift. I was working a night shift so daughter was asleep on the couch. I had noticed the patient was declining in status. Very rapidly. This poor frail 40kg women should have went peacefully. For a split second i told myself to pretend I didn't notice the decline and let her pass in her sleep.
Instead I panicked and began CPR. Daughter woke up and insisted we do everything. I was doing compressions with one hand, could hear the snaps and crunch of her ribs. Her mouth was foaming blood as we intubated her. Her eyes blood shot staring blankly at the ceiling. Her face sheet white and cold. Yet we continued to assault this poor soul because we were legally obligated to do so. She later passed the next day. We had prolonged her suffering by a day. Forced her under the agony of a ventilator.
Her death haunts me. I regret not letting her pass with dignity.
A Rare Situation
I was 19, first apartment, i had been moved in a few days and my roommates had gone out of town for the weekend, i had just bought a shotgun at a pawn shop because the neighborhood was pretty rough. I wake up around 2:30am to the front door being kicked in, i jumped up, grabbed the gun, and look down the hall, i see a guy walk into the living room, (my room was straight to the back from the door) i yelled to get the hell out because i had a gun, he turned, raised a pistol, i just started shooting as fast as i could pump it, fired five rounds and hit him with two or three before he got out the door, and took off. Neighbor heard the shots and called 911, police followed the blood trail into a backyard about a block away. He died on the way to the hospital, apparently was high as hell on meth when he broke in. It bothered me for a long time, but at the end of the day, in my eyes, it was him or me. Hope to never be in a situation like that again.
The Sad Tensions
Probably not the answer your looking for but my mom and twin sister died when i was born. My sister was going to struggle they knew that she might not make it but my mom started bleeding and they couldnt stop it. My oldest brother said my dad was different before. I know my dad loves me but theres always this weird feeling between us.
Life As A business
I've effectively killed plenty of people as a former ITU nurse (I lost count after a while, but I worked in a number of major trauma centres, so quite a few). All the evidence indicated that they were going to die, but by extubatung (pulling their breathing tube out), switching off their ventilator and life-sustaining drugs, I was the one who expedited their death.
To be honest, it never seemed to bother me as much as a lot of my colleagues. We'd often get support if we'd had a lot of deaths over a short-term period, and we'd have to go through all our feelings; but I'd usually end up giving them the answers they wanted to hear, because they wouldn't really get that I genuinely was fine.
Most days if you had a death you'd end up with another patient shortly after. I'd support the relatives as much as I could and wouldn't want them to feel in any way rushed, but my focus after they left would be on admitting and stabilising a new patient.
Frozen
I don't know if it counts as "taking a life" but I do feel responsible. I was in 5th grade and visiting my grandfather, there was no one in the house but us. He started having a stroke or a heart attack and he was reaching towards me because the home phone was near me. I just froze and watched him die, hours later I didn't even call the police or my parents. I've come to be very anxious when I see an elderly person and I try to avoid them, which has damaged the relationship between me and my grandparents that are still alive. I'm also a bit anxious when I'm in a house alone with one person, my boyfriend has been wanting me to move in with him but I prefer living at my parents' house with my parents and siblings.
Simply Trying To Help
I'm a nurse and my preferred specialty is hospice. The medications for pain relief we give also slow respiration and aid in the bodies natural process of death. So by giving these I essentially take a life. As a hospice nurse I have also been bedside for people who do not want these medications. 9 times out of 10 I feel relieved giving these medications and helping it along because death is a painful process. I feel that it is a way I can care for them and send them off loved and comfortable so I do not feel guilt at all.
Flirting is always a delicate balance.
While an obvious way to get someone's attention, and let them know they find them attractive and (hopefully), are interested in dating them, it's not always appreciated.
As some people find flirting to be little more than thinly veiled sexual harassment, particularly when intentions are less than honorable.
Flirting is an even more dangerous game when in the office.
While some people flirt with colleagues for little more than harmless fun, others take flirting in the workspace much more seriously.
Whether they're the ones doing the flirting, or the ones being flirted to.
"What's your opinion on flirting with / hitting on co-workers at work?"
Avoid In Office... Free Reign Outside
"I dated a coworker."
"We were not flirty or anything at work (it was a very professional/corporate place) but we went out to lunch together most days."
"We actually started off working in separate offices across the country but went to business events almost monthly and hung out."
"We only worked together a few years but have been married going on 28 years."- ncconch
Just Remember, No Means No...
If you socialize with them outside of work, that's the right time to flirt. And if they tell you no, then make sure you forget all about them before you come in to work the next day.- Metal-Dog
Just Don't
"That can go south quickly and cause a lot of issues."- Material_Joke1324
Season 3 Flirting GIF by The OfficeGiphyAs long As It's Done With Care And Good Intentions
"20% of married couples meet at work."
"Can’t really get away from that."
"That’s why most companies train to distinguish between sexual harassment and flirting, which is totally allowed if it is done in a non-harassing way."
"I dated a coworker."
'I’m female and he’s male."
"Same department, same titles."
"I started flirting on messenger first."
"We dated for 3 years and were always professional at work."
"We 'came out' after one year, shocking everyone."
"Coworkers were very supportive."
"After 3 years we broke up amicably and worked together with no drama or issues."
'I understand that this is probably an outlier but it does happen."- typical_friday
season 8 jim and pam GIFGiphyJust Be Open To All Possibilities
"I admitted to a co-worker I had a huge crush on that I liked her on a staff night out."
"She didn’t reciprocate those feelings."
"She dealt with it really well at work but it absolutely ripped my heart out and made seeing her every day very difficult."
"It’s a real gamble, could work out for you as it has a few people in this thread but I’d never do it again."- knopparp
"Anything that could lead to you f*cking your coworkers is a risky move."
"Source: spent several years as a 'f*cks her coworkers' girlie."- glittertits09
What You Do On Your Own Time...
"F*ck it! "
"Do it on the boss's desk."
"Leave a souvenir."- justimus_maximus
excited episode 4 GIFGiphyToo Big A Risk To Be Worth It...
"You're playing with firecrackers, while checking the gas line."
"Because, you're not sure your oven is working."- K_Odena
As The Saying Goes...
"Don’t dip your pen in the company ink."- Agreeable_Stick_6484
"Never dip your pen in the company ink, as they say."
"If things go south, it can cause a lot of problems in the workplace."
"You don't want to be working with a vindictive ex, or have any kinds of personal issues with someone you have to work with regularly that might affect your work output."
"Plus, you run a very serious risk of losing your job due to sexual harassment, or fraternization rules."- SweetCosmicPope
renee zellweger comedy GIF by Bridget JonesGiphyWhat Will Other's Say?
"It’s fun, but I’ve been getting weird looks at the family business."- GroundbreakingFox833
Stay Away From Prying Eyes...
"If it's reciprocal, go for it."
"Just probably don't do it with other people around."
"Some people here are overreacting."- AReformedHuman
Just Be Careful, And Know Your Place
"Everyone here is overreacting."
"Don’t be a creep or a weirdo and also don’t presume to know somebody just because you work at the same place."
"The same rules that apply everywhere."
"But also don’t try and get with inferiors or superiors."
"Other than that go for it."- Pepsplayed
When at work, it's a generally acknowledged rule of thumb to always be on your best behavior.
So if you think flirting might get you into trouble, probably best to avoid it.
We want to believe the world is a good place, and it can be. However, there are still those who seek to deceive us.
They prey on the innocent and naïve and run scams that take advantage of us and our assets.
Some of these scams are as old as time itself, and most people have wised up. They can recognize the tricks and protect themselves. However, every now and then, someone still falls for one of those stupid scams.
Redditors identified some of these scams and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor MrTenBelow-1 asked:
"what's a scam so stupid yet people keep falling for?"
Gift Card For Bills
"People who fall for phone scammers telling them they can pay an overdue utility bill in Apple gift cards. WTF?"
– AdmiralBofa
"My client got taken for 40k in gift cards and a bit coin machine scam over the course of 2.5 days. The bank held her and begged her not to leave because they thought she was in danger but the scammer told her to tell them she has a right to her money and they gave up. They never called her husband which would have helped. The second Kroger refused to sell her the gift cards and told her they would call the cops and called her credit card company to tell them to close the card. Kroger was the hero in this situation. It helped snap her out of it but most of the money was gone."
"Talk to your older relatives. This is so common."
– pamidawashername
Bail Them Out
"As a teller manager, I have had a few elderly people who actually believe their grandkids are in jail, and need to take out 20k out of their accounts in cash, in order to bail them out."
"Literally tell them they are falling for a scam, and to call their grandkids in front of me. Of course the kid then answers."
"Their hearts are in the right place, but they need to think before they take large amounts like that, but also if they gave the scammers their personal addresses."
– Nouls
"Thank you for looking out for them! My grandma’s attempt to bail me out of jail with target gift cards was foiled by a kind bank teller like you. My grandma doesn’t have a cell phone so she called the police and me from the bank to make sure everything got sorted."
– gingersnap9210
Money, Money, Money
"Any get rich quick subscription program. The actual get rich scheme is launching a subscription program for a get rich scheme."
– Kretuhtuh
"Subscribe to my courses to learn how to get rich quick. I'm only offering this because I don't want to use my tricks to get rich quick and want to share it with you instead."
– eggtart_prince
Love = Money
"Sending ppl on dating apps money"
– marvelwonderwoman
"While I've never been scammed, they've made attempts on me while I was on dating apps. It's easy to spot when they're attempting to scam you, like using some Instagram model's photos on their profile, or they try to get you to move to another app like skype or WhatsApp. But some guys don't think with the head on their shoulders and lose hundreds to probably a guy in Nigeria."
– draiman
The Future Is No Mystery
"Psychic hotlines"
– fonduktoe
"Or, any psychic really. Storytime: in NYC a few years ago, I walked by one of those storefront psychics as the proprietor yelled out to her husband, “But I can’t find my keys!” Not great advertising."
– moltenlavashake
How Romantic
"My coworker who was widowed three years ago met a man online and has been speaking with him for over a year. He says he has an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the nearby city. They haven't met in person yet because he is building a bridge in Dubai. He was going to come home for Christmas but the flights were very expensive."
"I am 95% sure this is a romance scam."
– elusivemoniker
"He’s building a bridge in Dubai😂😂😂😂😂"
– Jellyb3anz
Don't Have Wheels
"I'm calling about your cars extended warranty..."
– WhoaSpoders
"Man I was getting those calls before I even owned a car"
– justaguyonreddit02
"Okay, I'm not proud of this, but I nearly got screwed by an extended warranty call."
"I had just bought a used electric car out of state. And even though I've never done this before I bought an extended warranty from the used car dealership because it covered the batteries."
"While I was waiting for delivery I got a letter from what I thought was the warranty company. I was getting a lot of paperwork so it didn't look out of place. It said to give them a call so I could finalize the warranty information."
"I called the number and they asked questions like mileage, trim package, etc. And after all that they said because of a change in their policy I could save $50.00 a month if I made the first payment before close of business Friday."
"The only reason they didn't get my credit card number is because I asked them why I needed to make monthly payments for something I paid in full on my loan. That's when the discussion started sounding fishy (phishy) after a few more attempts to convince me to pay I just hung up on them, and called the dealership."
"What's crazy is that the company is a legitimate extended warranty company. They just have shady business practices."
– could_use_a_snack
Sell, Sell, Buy!
"Pyramid schemes. For the life of me I can’t fathom how people think they’ll get rich selling stupid sh*t like oils or wax"
– AkuraPiety
"A family friend sells one of the kitchen things as an MLM and is always boasting about going on cruises and stuff... Of course she leaves out the part where she has to park on her driveway because her garage is literally floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes of unopened merch. She isn't getting rewarded for her sales, she's getting rewarded for her purchases."
"She cooked some kind of dip for us in a microwave to show off a product. It tasted like I imagine a dead cow's milky an*s tastes."
– WillemDafoesHugeCock
Heal The Virus
"“Hello, this is John White. I am calling from Windows Technical Support. We have received notification that there are many errors on your computer, and that it may have a virus.”"
– MasterAinley
"My friends mother kept a guy like this on the phone for 20minutes, did everything he told her and was so greatful the nice Windows man was trying to fix her computer. Then eventually asked him "Oh, was my computer meant to be switched on?""
– anderoogigwhore
Please Hang Up!
"My MIL almost fell for this."
"My wife got a call from her father about something completely unrelated and as they're talking, he says that her mom is on the phone with Microsoft. I overhear this. I've listened to my IT friends talk about how getting MS on the phone is a huge pain in the a*s, so I'm immediately wondering what is going on.""My wife prods a little and finds out that they called her. Immediately, I'm saying over and over again "Tell her to hang up. Hang up HANG UP""
"Her MIL is...well, she's an older Jewish lady who is allergic to silence. FIL is a very typical older Jewish man..."
"FIL tells her "The kids are saying you should hang up, they say it's a scam.""
"MIL says on the phone to the "representative": "My kids are telling me this is a scam, are you trying to scam me?""
"The fake rep says "Of course not, you know me, why would I do that""
"MIL: "He says it's not a scam.""
"FIL: "She says it's not a scam.""
"My wife: It scam."
"Me: HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP"
"FIL to MIL: They're tellin me you should hang up."
"MIL to FIL: Do you know where the checkbook is?""
"Wife: OMG TAKE THE PHONE FROM HER AND HANG IT UP"
"Me: Why is she not HANGING UP?"
"FIL to my wife: I think I might have to call you back, your mother can't find the checkbook"
"Wife, now screaming: SHE IS BEING SCAMMED"
"MIL, to the rep: Hold on, I think I need to talk to my daughter, can I call you back?"
"Rep: Sure, but if we could process payment..."
"FIL: I think you better tell him to call back later"
"MIL: That's what I told him [to the rep] I need to call you back hun"
"Wife: I am begging you dad, take the phone from her"
"Me: [screams]"
"MIL to the rep: No, that's not a good time, we'll be eating dinner"
"Me: I'm driving over there."
"And that's what I did."
"She hadn't given him any payment information thankfully, but she had scheduled a call with him later. I blocked the number and told her not to answer any other unknown numbers. I had to show her several articles proving this is a scam and she STILL said "Well ya nevah know, and I don't want any virus on my computer""
– Daddict
The Truth About Social
"Facebook is going to change its algorithm by you copying and pasting a post"
– mamaj747
"Literally yesterday I saw one of those dumba** "I do not give FB permission to blah, blah, blah...""
"Yes, honey, you already did when you signed up and every time you accepted their new terms of service. Buried in the fine print you entirely gave them permission."
– Cinemaphreak
Thin Out
"Those “lose 15 pounds in 5 days” type diets in supermarket tabloids"
– AssociateGeneral4275
"Dude it works, I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. The diet is called a very aggressive stomach flu. You can’t keep anything down and you sh*t your brains out."
– Omegaprimus
Steer clear of all of these!
Do you have any popular scams to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Although romantic relationships are wonderful, they aren't all sunshine and rainbows. Relationships are hard. Every couple has issues.
Sometimes, you can work through these issues, but other times, they are relationship enders.
Redditors have identified the exact moment in which a relationship ended, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor HM333XOXO asked:
“What made you realize the relationship was over?"
What's The Point?
"When the things they did didn’t make me mad anymore. I just didn’t care. At all. So it was easy to walk away."
– claire0
"The opposit of love is not hate, but indifference"
– ZeroTwo81
"This is exactly what happened with the last long term relationship I was in before I met my wife. It took about an hour for me to go from thinking I was in love to realizing I didn't love her, I didn't hate her, I just didn't care so what was the point. The only break up I ever had where I felt nothing afterwards....no sorrow, no guilt, no relief, no freedom...just over"
– YouGuysKilledIt
Finally Free
"When my ex would state 10 seconds into every argument (which became more frequent) that "maybe we don't belong together.""
"I think it was her way of guilting me into ending the argument and switching to comforting/assuring her, but one time she said it and I was just like "well, maybe you're right""
"I knew right then that we were done, there was no walking that back, and I felt so much relief."
– EarlSandwich0045
"Dude, I’m sorry, I had that too. I remember my ex would always say “if you think you deserve someone better, you can leave”. She had a lot of trauma in her childhood, and so I always tried to take it as a defense mechanism, so I would reassure her that I didn’t want to break up, but I want to talk about things that were bothering me (mainly that she wasn’t very affectionate and never expressed her feelings, so I always felt like we were just friends) and some other issues. Anyway, I finally broke up with her one time after she said it, and there was just no fight and that was it. It’s been almost a year and I still feel like the whole relationship was a brain f*ck lol."
– OceanDevotion
Totally Callous
"When I woke up three days post surgery — there had been a cancer scare and complications — I whispered to my husband. “Could you get me some ice chips?” Mind you, I had not been out of bed or eating/drinking, much less awake. He said, stone-faced, “get them yourself.” Not at that moment, but when I processed it later, I knew I could not grow old and be vulnerable with him. Years later, his excuse was that he had just been on the phone with his mother."
– Magoo1963
Misery Loves Company
"I won an all expenses paid trip for two to the Superbowl courtesy of Budweiser. Had a bunch of extras given, vip tickets to concerts happening the days leading to the Superbowl, a superbowl experience trip, was supposed to go golfing, vip tickets to the pre-show and game tickets in a section with unlimited free booze. Then husband was a total a**hole the entire time. Refused to do any of the included activities. Only wanted to find craft beer bars to hang out in."
"At one point got sh*t-faced and wondered around the hotel in a bathrobe yelling at random people while the head of the Budweiser distributor in my town is sitting down trying to recruit me for a job. The morning of the Superbowl he decides he doesn't want to go and wants to sell the tickets instead. So I sell the tickets and hand him $14k from the sale of the tickets. (Have an interesting story about who bought them). It was that moment I understood that this person was miserable and there was nothing in the world that could ever make them happy, and I needed to get the f*ck out."
– deevee234
Not Me Anymore
"When I realized I did not like the person I had become in the relationship."
– yggdrasil_shade
"Same. I was terrified when I realised I slowly turn into his mother. Harsh, demanding, ordering him what to do, yelling if he didn't do something important after I asked and reminded 100 times etc. because when I'm being myself (nonchalant, calm, joking about stuff) he didn't lift a finger to do anything."
"Was making tea and spilled it on a counter? Unless I saw it and said "Go take a rag and wipe it" he wouldn't do it. Like, I legit tried not to tell him anything to find how long it'll take him no notice. Date plans? Only when I find a place and tell him we're going there, otherwise the only option was to hang out at his place, cook something together (if I find a recipe, write down a list of ingredients and we both go shopping) or watch a movie (if I decide what to watch)."
"Broke up because I know there are women who love this kind of dynamic, but it sure ain't me."
– aoi4eg
Disregard For Human Life
"When she told me to stop trying to control her for asking her to stop drinking and driving"
"She had a car accident a few hours later and almost died"
"I don't care if you're irresponsible with your own life but when you drink and drive you put others at risk and the fact a 24 year old had to be told not to do that was shocking"
– Iperovic
Good Advice
"An excellent counselor told me, "Do you know what's worse than coming home to an empty house? Coming home to a house that's more empty because of the person waiting there.""
– Grattytood
Girlfriends
"When I found out he was already in a relationship with a different girl before he even met me, yet still approached me and started a relationship with me. And continued to date her. While dating me. The entire time we were together."
– FigLow4974
It's All About The Compatability
"When she started getting into astrology, started treating me completely different because of my star sign."
– Waste_Stick_7134
Different Futures
"When I realized I was the only one planning our future and he was just there riding along with whatever I came up with. It felt very lonely and exhausting. I wanted a life partner that could help lead the way and carry the load with me."
– hello_enya
"This is a huge issue with relationships. He probably had much different ideas for the future he wanted. Telling you would probably end the relationship so he just played the delay game stretching out the time with you doing what he wanted as long as possible."
"Kind of why me and my ex broke up. She had the same exact issue with me that you had with your ex. Truth is she wasn’t interested in what I wanted in the future at all. Our passions are completely different and I will never give up who I am to please someone else. She’s an indoors, shopping, going out to eat, not active person. I love the outdoors, I love the ocean, I love snowboarding, skating, playing sports, fishing, camping, bonfires on the beach, camping out on the beach. She would come fishing with me occasionally and want to leave 30 minutes in because she was bored. Took me a while to realize that I was always doing things for her because I cared about her but she wouldn’t do those same things for me. She would call me a narcissist all the time. Projection? It sounds like I’m tooling on her but I still care a lot about her."
– BrokedownAlice69
No Empathy
"The doctor says, “I think you have stomach cancer. I want to scope your stomach at 5:00 am.” I was terrified. I just went home and sat stunned on the couch with the dogs for hours until she got home from work."
"She gets home. I ask her to sit down. I tell her what the doctor said. I tell her that I’ll need her to take off work the next day because i won’t be able to drive afterwards and I need her to drive me."
"“But I don’t want to miss work,” she says."
"That’s the exact moment I knew our marriage was over."
– TheMadIrishman327
Completely Done
"I hated hearing her car pull in the driveway when she got off work."
– TrickBoom414
Ouch, that's hard!
We applaud these folks for taking their leave and hopefully finding someone who does meet their needs.
Do you have anything that was the proverbial final nail in the coffin? Let us know in the comments below.
Everyone wants to live healthily.
Right?
But "healthy" seems to have a lot of meanings.
Many of the things we deem healthy and healing are often messy and problematic.
So it's time to make some changes.
And really do the research.
Redditor cheerfulspinach wanted to discuss the truth about being cleansed... so they asked:
"What is something people think is a 'healthy option' but actually isn't?"
We all need to research more to define 'healthy.'"
Sneaky, sneaky...
Hold On Waiting GIF by Nature ValleyGiphy"Sugar sneaks it's way into all sorts of 'healthy' foods. Make sure to check the nutrition facts if you are watching for it. I'm looking at you, granola."
cottonfist
Cleanse Crap
"Those stupid juicing detox programs... your body's liver and kidney's naturally detox your body so long as you drink plenty of water. This whole notion that you are detoxing your body with juice is a*inine."
fihiv13853
"The financial director of the WORST place I've ever worked decided to go onto a juice detox. Each tiny bottle was like £5 (this is back in 2016) and his diet was literally 5 of those bottles a day."
"However during work he would get agitated and lacking energy so he'd 'top up' with haribo throughout the day to make sure he didn't collapse. Very freaking healthy."
luv2belis
75 pounds in a year...
"I had a friend in college who believed sub sandwiches were healthy. Like... not specific ones. The Subway health based commercials made her think that anything served in sub form was healthy. She was eating footlong white bread covered in cheese with double bacon and ham sandwiches with extra cheese, extra mayo, extra oil or ranch and whatever else she wanted on them or chicken bacon ranch subs with double cheese and double bacon. Devouring them 2-3 times a day to lose weight."
"She hadn't told anyone she was trying to lose weight but after she gained 75 pounds in a year, some of her friends started asking why she ate so many unhealthy sandwiches every day. Her mind was blown when we told her that sub sandwiches aren't magically healthy just because of the form factor."
SadLaser
Bad Rep
"Smoothies from smoothie shops They use sorbets, ice creams, and juices with an insane amount of sugar in them. My sister worked at a smoothie shop, and people would always come in after going to the gym. It’s not what most people think it is."
wekig10581
"Depends on the smoothie but yes most of those mainstream chains are like that."
iast68
Options
"'Low-fat' or 'fat-free' options. These products often have added sugars and other unhealthy additives to compensate for the lack of fat. In some cases, these options may actually be worse for you than the full-fat versions."
Appropriate-Land9451
"And not to mention they STILL taste worse than the full fat versions. Lowfat yogurt is the bane of my existence."
fallout_koi
Low does not mean no.
Smell the flowers...
"Vaginal washes on a daily basis so it smells like lavender instead of what vaginas are supposed to smell like. It's unnecessary and changes your pH down there and pre disposes you to infections."
fihiv13853
Take a Brake
"I think a lot of Millennials and Gen Zers are beginning to catch on to how bad it can potentially be, but I think dedicating your life just to work is really unhealthy. I mean fair enough if you have a job you really enjoy, but even so if you dedicate almost every waking moment to your job there's a problem generally. Its not a great attitude, live to work."
sopica8678
Buying into the system...
"Toxic positivity. The people who tell you that you need to love yourself regardless of whatever debilitating disability or mental condition you have that makes doing so near impossible Or the people who, whenever you try to reach out, immediately try to downplay your problems (you don’t hate your body, society just MAKES you buy more products/your not depressed, society sucks)."
"People who try to take what you say about yourself and twist it beyond recognition into some pseudo-'woke‘ actually society is the problem’ bulls**t and passively blame you for not waking up farting rainbows because actually everything you’ve ever disliked about yourself was created by 3 white dudes 200 years ago therefore making any doubt you have just ‘buying into the system.'"
LavaRoseKinnie
Muffins
"Honestly, a lot of whether or not something is healthy or unhealthy (especially in the context of weight loss) depends on the specific person."
"For example, I have to avoid eating nuts as a snack because they're extremely calorie dense while not being at all filling to me and hence I can overeat them really easily without thinking about them without any benefits of affecting my hunger level."
"But for someone who doesn't have my issue with snacking foods, a handful of nuts as a snack would absolutely be a great part of a balanced diet."
"On a more general level though, muffins. Most muffins you can buy are basically cupcakes but people treat muffins like a diet food."
badgersprite
Be Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"Not getting angry. Holding in your negative emotions not only increases your cortisol stress levels, it also prevents you from opening up about the things that are holding you back."
"If you learn how to talk things out and express frustration before things boil over, you just might find that your relationships are more honest and fulfilling."
GoddessLeVianFoxx
Being healthy is all a state of mind.
Anything you'd like to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.