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People Who Grew Up Poor Break Down Which Things They Consider To Be Luxuries

People Who Grew Up Poor Break Down Which Things They Consider To Be Luxuries

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure, and for those of us who grew up with very little money, we know how true that is.

People throw away things like perfectly good food all the time, or furniture, or clothing. We see these things go to waste with the ultimate face palms, in favor of more luxurious items.

Though what we could consider luxuries, more wealthy parties might just consider them to be normal.

u/SnooBeaz asked:

For those who grew up poor, what did you consider a luxury?

Here were some of those answers.

DIDNEY WORL

Going places during school vacation. The kids would be all like "what!? you've never been to xyz amusement park!?" No, Trisha. My family doesn't even have a car." Which is another luxury to me.

lillithfair4

A Heat Away

Being allowed to turn on the heat during the winter, and also being able to hire a professional to fix broken appliances, plumbing, etc

theabsoluteunit420

I think that's what pushed me to be the jack of all trades type.

If something broke, calling a professional was out of the question. Dad would fix it. Sometimes sh!ttily, but he'd do it.

Definitely those types of experiences that shape you as a person.

SarinationX

Bubbly For Me?

My Mom had 7 children in 10 years, 1950-1960. I remember having a whole bottle (those smallish glass ones that came out of the machine for 10 cents) of soft drink to my self instead of sharing 1 bottle between all 7 of us. I was perhaps 5 years old. I still remember this as the best thing ever.

someonesgoat

Clean And Shiny

Staying at someone's house who wasn't poor, like a relative or friend. Their house was also so clean, beautiful, pictures on the wall, knick knacks on the counter, and carpet you could play on because it was clean.

I spent my entire teenage years hiding where I lived.

smashingpumpkinspice

No More Hand-Me-Downs

New clothes.

I grew up pretty poor (no TV, no toys, but had a Sears catalog). My dad got in a serious accident when I was in 4th grade and almost lost his life. He won a small settlement from the community college he was working at and I was able to buy new clothes for the first time in my life. Before this all I ever had were hand me downs from my cousin and donation clothes from the church. Most were worn to the point of having patches on the knees.

The worst part about getting new clothes for the first time is I felt terrible the whole time picking out new clothes because I always felt like a financial burden to my parents. I remember going to Miller's Outpost and picking out typical 80's clothes (OP, TnC, etc.).

It's funny how growing up poor affects my everyday choices, for better or worse. I'll never outgrow some of the feelings I had as a poor kid and I feel for any kid who has to endure a childhood of poverty. It will affect them and their choices for the rest of their life.

pewpewdeez

Chopped Wood And...Drugs...?

I grew up poor in Arkansas. We didn't have central heat or air so I had to chop firewood for our wood burning stove to stay warm in the winter. We lived way out in the boonies too, so convincing my parents to spend gas to take me to a friends house was really hard.

Rubadubtubgirl

Penny For Your Hot Cross Buns

I don't know if anyone can relate, but in about 3rd maybe 4th grade, me and my twin brother had a music class where we were both required to buy a recorder. (Like a plastic flute thing) well my mom said we didn't have the money so my twin brother and I tore the whole house up in search of $6 for two recorders. We brought a ziploc bag full of change pennies, nickels, dimes etc.

I think the teacher felt sorry for us, cause she paid for our recorders when the rest of the students left the room. Gave us the ziploc bag back.

Thank you Mrs. Albrecht

vvMario

Art Times

In high school, my boyfriend (who became my husband) and his family picked up pretty early on that I was poor, and that my family was pretty dysfunctional. They really let me into their family and took care of me in a sweet, not pity, way.

I was super into art, so his mom found a neighborhood art teacher that did like basically small group art classes and it was so so cool. Anyways she usually charged like $100 for all the supplies, time, etc. My mom knew how excited I was, and I never asked for anything so she told me to ask the teacher to wait until her next paycheck. The teacher was like "sure!" By the time I brought that check to her, I think my boyfriend's mom talked to her, and she ripped it up and said I got a "scholarship" for the class. Honestly it gives me such good vibes thinking about it till this day.

bageltricloud

A Stitch Of Warmth

A new winter coat. I don't remember having a new winter coat until I was probably 14 or 15, they had always been hand-me-downs from my cousins. They were usually at least ten years old by the time I got them and the stuffing would be all clumped up.

stephers85

It's The People Who Laugh Who Don't Deserve Lunch

School parties where everyone brought something to share for lunch.

"If you don't bring something, you don't get to participate..."

I brought two carrots after not being able to afford school lunch for two years. Even the teacher laughed at me. My young self just decided that day that some people don't deserve lunch.

Undeniably-Milton

poor

People Who Hooked Up With A Coworker Break Down The Aftermath

Reddit user Nuff-Do asked: "People that had sex with coworkers - how did that turn out ?'

Male coworker looking at female coworker while she talks
Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

We've all heard that love and work do not mix, and we've definitely heard that we shouldn't take relationships or friendships with coworkers to the next level.

Between having our work, our jobs, our income, and maybe even our reputations on the line, there's simply too much at risk.

But maybe sometimes, the affair won't turn out quite the way we expected.

Redditor Nuff-Do asked:

"People who had sex with coworkers, how did that turn out?"

Rewarded with a Trip to Italy

"I was a young Airman at my first base in California and I worked with a girl (let's call her Sarah) who was way more attractive than anyone my small-town Missouri a** had ever hooked up with before."

"For some reason, she was into me. She was into a few other dudes too, but at the time it didn't matter because I was 19 and stupid and she was a few years older and far more sexually experienced than I was. We had sex a few times and sort of 'dated,' but it didn't really go anywhere and I was heartbroken but cool with it."

"This was right after 9/11, so U.S. military operations were starting to ramp up and Sarah got deployment orders. They didn't tell her where she was going, but she was on the hook."

"Her reaction to the news was to tell our Chief that she was pregnant with my kid so she didn't have to go. I knew she wasn't pregnant and just using it as an excuse not to deploy."

"The Chief came to me and asked if I'd go in her place. As I said, I was 19 and even though I was a little scared, I signed the dotted line and told him of course I'd take the deployment."

"It turns out, the 'deployment' was to a NATO base in Naples Italy where I'd be paid about 80 dollars per day per diem on top of my normal paycheck."

"As soon as Sarah found out where I was headed, she called the Chief and told him she wasn't pregnant anymore and would like to take the deployment."

"The Chief denied her request and I spent an amazing eight months in Italy, being paid more money than I knew how to spend and having the time of my life."

- NewPac

Watching Them Move On

"We met thru work and dated for one and a half years. She cheated with another coworker who is married. We broke up. She started to date a different coworker. Not the married one. She paraded that relationship in my face."

"Everything was great until it wasn't. It really f**ked over my self-esteem and self-worth for years. It sucked that I had front row seat to her moving on."

- bluevacuum

"I feel that last part. When my ex moved out, she did it slowly over the course of like a month. She came over every day and packed up slowly until she finally got everything."

"The worst day was when she finally came and took her cat. I still remember sitting in front of the door and crying for hours after she left that day."

"There's a band called Pedro the Lion that has this lyric, 'My old man always swore that hell would have no flame. Just a front-row seat to watch your true love pack her things and drive away.'"

- FTG_Vader

"When I kicked my ex out this summer for having cheated on me, I gave her an arguably unfair timeline to leave before all of her possessions just went outside, and packed and moved everything for her to the garage overnight, since I couldn't sleep anyways."

"This is why. I simply couldn't handle those constant reminders and wanted it done and gone as fast as possible."

- DeceiverX

A Messy Breakup

"I had resigned and was leaving the company anyway but it was one of those classic hookups at a company party. We had fun for a while but then she decided to stop seeing me."

"I'm glad I had left the company by then; otherwise, things would have been messy."

- love_boobs_in_dm

A Huge Theft Ring

"I got fired and she got fired and all 20 guys she f**ked while we were dating were fired."

"I got fired under false allegations because she was my girlfriend and she was stealing from the store."

"She got fired for stealing from the store."

"The other 20 were fired because it was brought up that she was stealing and sleeping with managers and other coworkers while in a relationship with me. They thought that me and her were the center of a theft ring."

"Like, no... I don't steal so."

- butahoomach

A Promotion for Everyone

"So my wife of over 10 years, who had cheated in the past and I forgave her, got a huge promotion at work which caused us to relocate."

"I guess she got tired of me because she kicked me out and we were getting a divorce."

"Four months later, I found out that a co-worker had a thing for me, so I took my shot. The sex was amazing. It could be that it’s been a long time for me since sex with the wife was basically non-existent for the last few years of marriage."

"Me and the co-worker have now been dating for over a year and I haven’t been happier. So for me, it worked out for the best. And the sex is still great!"

- Unrealevil360

Too Many Options

"I worked at a casino as the only male cocktail waiter/bartender (roughly eight cocktail waitresses and four female bartenders). The floor was mostly women between the bar, servers, restaurant, and dealers."

"I slept with one of the cocktail waitresses for a couple of months even though I knew I had a bigger crush on her than she did on me. I also knew I didn't really want a relationship with her for a couple of reasons."

"Evidently, she told some people and gave me good reviews. After she quit and moved away, I had more interest than I really knew what to do with and kinda just went for it with anyone who showed interest that I was attracted to as I knew I had no more than a year left there no matter what happened. I ended up with four more of them over the course of a couple of months."

"One time on a shift, I looked around and all four were on the floor somewhere. All knew each other but I'm not sure any knew about the whole situation, and none were any false impressions of a relationship as far as I know so nothing bad came of it."

- CallMeLargeFather

A Family Man

"Not me, but she was working in payroll and he was a security guard. One day, a coworker saw the security guard walking her to her car. Immediately, she was transferred to another branch. However, they continued to see each other."

"Soon after, they got married after finding out she got pregnant. In the next five years, they had three daughters, with me being the youngest. My dad ended up passing away from brain cancer when I was just a toddler."

- Swimming-Site-7682

The Downfall of a Friendship

"I had one good experience one bad. The first one we ended up dating for a year and a half. We had a ton of fun sneaking around at work, and even though in the end he totally broke my heart, it wasn't a bad experience."

"The second one was very bad. Do not recommend."

"I thought he would be safer because we were friends, so I figured communication and rules would be no problem. Instead, we didn't communicate at all because we were both so worried about hurting each other's feelings."

"It ended badly with major assumptions on both ends and now it's very awkward and uncomfortable."

"It makes me sad because honestly, I just miss my friend. While the experience can be fun, I don't recommend it."

- laylalove89

A Suspicious Relocation

"Pretty fine. We worked at different locations in the company the first time we slept together, but we knew each other as she had trained at my location."

"One night we ran into each other at the bar and one thing led to another. A couple of months later, I ended up getting transferred to the location she was at and we just acted like it never happened."

"After a month or two of working together, we ran into each other again at the same bar, and history repeated itself."

"There was a slightly awkward moment a couple of days later when I had to find a way to give her back the necklace she'd left at my place without anybody noticing, but other than that, our working relationship didn't change at all."

- Nervous_Chipmunk7002

Messy Feelings Everywhere

"First time: super fun but I got more attached than she did."

"Second time: kinda fun but she got more attached than I did."

"Moral of the story: don’t f**k coworkers unless you’re SUPER SURE."

- Arch021

A Heartbreaker

"We dated for over a year and then one day she randomly decided to break my heart. Thankfully, we had stopped working together by that point. It still makes me tear up thinking about her, though."

- Electronic-Mud1634

Best Decision Ever

"We had an instant connection the moment she joined the foundation I had been working at for a year. We worked at the front desk together and we got to know each other very quickly."

"Neither of us enjoyed small talk and we would get angry emails from our unbelievably incompetent manager about the amount of laughter coming from the front desk. We got all of our work done, and then some, our manager just felt like she was getting left out. Which our manager was, but it was because she sucked."

"I worked from home four days a week before my new coworker started and a few weeks later she asked me why I was coming in every day. I told her something about training her how to answer the phones, which she instantly knew was bullsh*t (we got four calls a day, max)."

"The first time we hung out outside of work we told each other it would be a terrible idea to date. That lasted for about 10 days. The next time we hung out we slept together."

"That was a year and a half ago."

"We left the foundation after she told our manager that her 'management style' was untenable in an email. The two of us then called a meeting with her and we laid out a very well-planned strategy for departmental growth and change."

"Our manager nodded her head the whole meeting and told us how proud of us she was for taking ownership of our careers and how excited she was to implement our new plan."

"Three weeks later, they fired my coworker. They pushed me out, telling me that they no longer had a place for me (at my review the previous year, the CEO told me herself that she believed I had CEO potential)."

"We both have new jobs, she is a high school English teacher at one of the best high schools in the country and I became a private investigator."

"Her dad and I go to college football games together and our moms get lunch and do spa dates."

"We have been showing each other how to heal and grow as individuals and as partners."

"Right now, she's sleeping in my bedroom while I type this in the living room. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that she's the love of my life."

"Sleeping with my coworker is the best thing I've ever done."

- frankenfine305

"Marry this girl already."

- Long-Regular-1023

Redefining the Coworker

"Pretty good. We have a kid together. Granted we'd been married for seven years before we became coworkers."

"She always wanted to teach at the same school as me. The school grew enough that it needed a dedicated English teacher. She has a master's in it so it worked out."

- i_have_seen_ur_death

A Slow Transition

"We worked together for a couple of years and became close friends before we crossed the romance line one night after a lot of drinks. Honestly, it was and still is amazing. Happily married now over 15 years with two kids."

- theshannons

A Bartender's Love Story

"She's sleeping next to me, cuddling our cat."

"Turns out our chemistry working behind the bar together was also amazing outside of work."

- Eb_Ab_Db_Gb_Bb_Eb

We've all heard that love and work don't mix, and that we absolutely shouldn't get close to our coworkers, but from these Redditors, it seems that while things could get messy, sometimes it's worth the risk.

hooking up

These Are The Adult Equivalent Of Finding Out Santa Isn't Real

adding machine with printed receipt tape
Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash

When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.

But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.

And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.

Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:

"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"

Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.

Caveat Emptor

"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."

– throwmeawaypoopy

"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"

– MrsMalvora

"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"

– opheliainwaders

Value Of Friendships

"That some friends were never really your friend."

– Kangaroowrangler_02

"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."

– ScienceUnicorn

"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."

"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"

– VoxClarus

"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."

– tomdelfino

"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."

– immorjoe

The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?

Who's Parenting Who

"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."

– Smile_Terrible

"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."

– Puzzleheaded-Job6147

About Grieving

"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."

– i_spock

Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In

"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."

– HaloTightens

"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."

– deathschemist

We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.

Aimlessness

"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."

– Borsti17

"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."

– BeautifulMidnight-

Misconception Behind Work Integrity

"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."

– DorianOrosco

And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."

– Puzzleheaded-Job6147

We Are Our Parents

"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."

– tamammothchuk

"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."

– daggerxdarling

Living On Borrowed Time

"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."

"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."

"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."

"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."

"But the meter is running."

– Boudyro

I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.

When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.

As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.

growing up

Dead Giveaways Someone's Not As Rich As They Claim

Woman holding an array of $100 bills
Alexander Mils on Unsplash

It's not attractive to gloat.

And there is little more obnoxious than flaunting how wealthy you are.

Particularly if you aren't even that wealthy to begin with.

Indeed, perhaps to make themselves feel more powerful and important than they actually are, many people will try and show off how much money they have in what they wear, eat, live in, and drive.

However, not everyone is so easily fooled, as those in the know can detect a charlatan when they see one.

Redditor aloe_veracity16 was eager to hear the dead giveaways that someone might not be as wealthy as they appear, leading them to ask:

"What’s a dead giveaway that someone is not actually as wealthy as they claim?"

Stating The Obvious...

"When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are."

"A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart."

"An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit."

"And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy."- TigLyon

Attracting Unwanted Attention...

"90% of the wealthy shut the f**k about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece."

"Talking about it constantly = broke AF."- Vladtehwood

Simply By Doing It...

"Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway."- Starfox41

In Plain Sight...

"People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it."- Matt7738

"Living In A Material World..."

"I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post."

"I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latest iPhones and wearables."

"They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course."- anima99

Flaunt Modesty, Not Wealth...

"As a person which knows many very rich people."

"I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich."- CompetitivePause9033

Schitts Creek Flirt GIF by CBCGiphy

We Heard You The First Time!!!

"When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are."- Famous_Bit_5119·

Experiences Over Stuff!

"I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition."

"They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much."- Klesea

Summer Time GIF by Merge MansionGiphy

All In The Editing...

"Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing?"

"They're in coach."

"The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through."- Turbulent-Ask-2633

Pack Light...

"Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage."

"The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them."- hadmeatgotmilk

The Less Said...

"I never met a wealthy person that talks about it."

"They don't need to."- 181Eclipse·

Christina Moses Secrets GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"See The Pyramid [SCHEMES!] Along The Way..."

"They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that 'will help you get rich too!'"

"If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme."- illegalopinion3

All About The Simple Things...

"My dad's entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country."

"And I never knew until I got older how these 'Mr. Smith' and 'Ms. Jones' people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class."

"Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people."

"Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth."- Travel_and_Tea·

Anything But Proud...

"I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class."

"She isn’t."

"She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that."

"Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister."

"Likely also 8 figures."

"He insists he’s blue collar and middle class."

"There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having 'made it' financially."- strangled_spaghetti

Blue Collar Work GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

People will try to come off as wealthier than they are for a multitude of reasons.

But just like any facade, keeping it up eventually becomes untenable.

This is why it's always most important to be grateful for the things you have, rather than flaunt what you wish you had.


wealth

People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions

silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

dating restrictions