Romance can be such an embarrassing issue.
In the movies it's all flowers and sunshine.
But in real life, people get and give a lot of NOs!
"NO. I'm not into you."
But rejection is a part of the game of love.
And as if that isn't bad enough... can you imagine having to face the person who rejected you repeatedly?
Redditor IneedAnameForReddit8wanted to hear from everyone out there who has had second encounters with someone who left them hanging. They asked:
"People of Reddit who ran into the girl that rejected you in the past how did it go?"
I can't talk about this, in order to protect the "innocent."
No Interest
Youre Not Funny GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"She rejected me again. This time for a home loan."
PlanarVet
Off to College
"Not exactly a rejection, but my after going off to college my then-GF from high school told her ultra-religious mother that we’d been fooling around. Her mother had her break up with me and confess to their entire church what she’d been doing with me. A few years ago I heard from a friend in my hometown and he told me that my ex-GF had never done anything after that."
"She went to college, but it was a local school and she never moved out of her mom’s house. She never got a job in her field and still (20 years later) has the same job she had in high school - not just the same employer the same position. She never even dated again after her mom broke us up. It’s like she’s been stuck in stasis since that time."
USPO-222
"there"
"She was my first love, and she broke my heart. I let it haunt me. About four or five years later, we actually started dating again, just long enough to realize we'd both grown in different directions. There was no 'there' there anymore. All we ever really had was that we were young together. Which was great. But that time was in the past. It was a very therapeutic revelation. Set me free."
jimmyjazz2000
The Tattoo Girl
"I went to a concert to see one of my favorite bands, a girl noticed a tattoo I had on my side and showed me a similar one that she had. We talked a bit in between bands until I asked for her number to try to talk to her some. She said no she wasn't cool with that and I said alright no worries and enjoyed the rest of the concert."
"Few months pass by and the band rolls around again, and there she is again. Didn't try asking again because she already said no once before. We see tattoos hug and how each other are doing and make small conversations. Enjoy the concert and go our separate ways."
"Few months pass by again and the band comes through. See her again except this time we know each other without having to compare tattoos. We enjoy the show and as we're leaving I notice she's basically trapped between two guys. She sees me and yells 'hey I've been looking for you! Ready to head back to the airBnB.' So I said 'I've been trying to find you too. Yeah I'm good to go.'"
"Walked her the few blocks back to where she was staying. We had a nice chat during the walk, and ask if she needs anything before I left since I had a good drive back home. And that was it. We talk at the occasional shows we see each other at and on IG from time to time, but I'm glad she felt comfortable enough knowing that she could trust me to make sure she was safe."
CaptainNinj
Hey Neighbor
Giphy"She stood me up on Valentine’s Day three years ago. She’s now my next door neighbor, talked to her a couple times but we aren’t friends or anything."
Zombiejesus8890
Being neighbors? Now that is a special kind of cosmic humor.
Bad Shot
Best Friends Hug GIF by Alex BedderGiphy"I saw a girl from high school at a reunion. She never rejected me because I never had the nerve to ask. At the reunion she confessed that she had a crush on me. You miss all the shots you never take."
AMLRoss
Out of my League...
"We met at a work trip and had great conversations and a connection. When we returned back to our hometown, we went out for some drinks, and she rejected me at the end of the night when I leaned in for a kiss. I thought she was out of my league at that point. We texted for a bit and then went our own ways."
"Little did I know after going our separate ways for two years, I would be tapped at work again for another trip as an emergency replacement. Guess who was running the event? That’s right. She was. We reconnected the first day, and then spent the next night together. Two years later, she’s my fiancé. You never know where life will take you and what timing might mean."
Savage2929
Christmas...
"I met this woman near Christmas of 1999 or 2000, had a wonderful night of chatting, dancing, just a perfect night. I live near her so I drop her off in the taxi. She said she was leaving shortly for Australia so wasn't looking for anything major, but to give her a call later in the week and we'd go do something. She never responded. It was a wonderful night though, and something I always fondly remembered."
"Fast forward to 2019, I meet this woman on tinder, we have a great brunch and end it with a hug and a kiss. Start seeing each other regularly. After a couple of weeks I drop her off at her mum's house - looks so familiar, it's the same house I dropped that woman off 19 years ago."
"This woman I'm dating is that woman - who doesn't remember it, doesn't remember me at all. Such a wonderful insight into how there's two sides to every tale. We didn't last long as a couple, but it was really interesting to be able to cross off one of those that got away."
ddmf
Bumps
"We bumped into each other buying lawndarts at Walmart. She was pregnant and in Cookie Monster PJs, and I was in what were essentially male booty shorts, as my friends swimtrunks fit too short. We were literally both buying packs of lawndarts. We laughed, but both knew deep down inside that that Walmart run was embarrassing AF."
theglowoflove
All's Good
vintage agree GIF by hoppipGiphy"We met again after ~6 years and became good friends."
throwawayaj218
Not too bad. Even when it's calm though, that feeling of no never fully goes away.
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No joke, I will never forget the old Sock'em Boppers commercials. I am well past the age group that plays with these things but that theme song is often in my head. What can I say? I watched a ton of TV as a kid and saw that commercial a million times.
They're now known as Socker Boppers and it's just not the same. Remember that video jingle, "it's more fun than a pillow fight?" Those were the days. Alas, everything good must end.
There are a host of other commercials that have left an impression on people. These people shared their thoughts with us after Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 asked the online community,
"What's a commercial you'll never forget?"
"I still giggle..."
"I still giggle at the LifeAlert "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials. They even have a newer batch of them out."
MisterFives
There's a criminal in my house!
Classic.
"Mr. Owl..."
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
TabithaTwitchet
The world may never know.
"I tried to collect..."
"Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
"I tried to collect all those stuffed Taco Bell dogs they did in promotion around this time. I had almost all of them, but never got my favourite one, with the military hat that says, "Viva gordita!""
F22Android
I remember those! There were so many. I swear, I had at least one or two but they've now been lost to time.
"This is your brain."
"The "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs" egg commercial."
[deleted]
Oh, but remember the old Rachel Leigh Cook commercial where she destroyed the entire kitchen and not just the egg?
"The dancing old man..."
"The dancing old man from the Six Flags commercials."
DizzyLurking
Now this one really takes me back.
The Venga bus is coming!!!
And everybody's jumping!!!
"That mid 2000s..."
"That mid 2000s Chef Boyardee commercial where the can follows the family and rolls home with them."
Greb-Grebberson
You mean the one where the can is clearly stalking the family and people are too shy to say otherwise?
At least that's how I like to play it out in my head.
"The Wilford Brimley..."
"The Wilford Brimley diabeetus commercial."
rntopspin100
At this point, diabetes should just be called Wilford Brimley syndrome.
"The Budweiser..."
"The Budweiser Wassup Commercial refuses to exit my brain to this day."
Humblebee89
WAZZZUUUUUPPP!? Any kids watching Scary Movie will not understand that reference in the movie sadly.
"Five eight eiiight, two-three hundred... ...Empiiiiire!"
[deleted]
Today!
Good choice. This one is always living rent-free inside my head.
"My bologna has a first name. It's O-s-c-a-r. My bologna has a second name. It's M-a-y-e-r. Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask my why, I'll say. Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a."
PianoOk6786
This commercial is likely singlehandedly responsible for teaching children how to spell "bologna."
Apologies if you now have relentless commercial jingles rattling inside your brain right now. You should have known we'd awake some long buried childhood memories!
Have some commercials you remember? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
If you're not familiar with the phrase "you are what you eat," it is not a literal statement.
Instead, the line suggests that it is important to eat better quality foods in order to stay healthy and fit.
But the notion that we can go through a transformation of some sort based on our behavior or surroundings can still be a thing depending on certain discussions within context.
Curious to hear examples of what this might be, Redditor standardgenre45 asked:
"What’s something that people turn into their whole personality?"
We can lose sight of ourselves when heavily influenced by another individual or a group of people.
Influenced By Devotion
"Politicians they follow."
– mrivkees
Era-Specific Like-Minded Individuals
"The generation they're born in."
– TheodoreBurgessL
We Like, We Follow
"‘Girl bosses’/MLM cult engagers"
"And social media."
– wanesandwaves
People can take on the characteristics that apply to their environments.
Location-Based Personality
"Here in the Netherlands people who live in Amsterdam base their personality on Amsterdam."
– kood_gid
When In Colorado
"People move to Colorado and Colorado becomes their personality. They buy a jeep or Subaru and start wearing Chaco’s, and plaster Mountain Life all over everything they own."
– peachesinyogurt
Claiming Ownership Of The State
"Not only that, but 'Colorado native' is a whole thing too. I've met many people who have nothing to talk about except how bitter they are that people keep moving in and how much better it was when they were kids."
– arardvark
What The Canadian Said
"It’s that way for a lot of major cities around the world. Here in Canada each province’s capital city has a bunch of people basing their personality off of it."
– SegaNaLeqa
The Thing About Major American Cities
"Lots of New Yorkers (City not state) guilty of this too. But it’s not just them. Los Angelinos, San Francisans, Chicago and DC are guilty too. Texans are probably the worst about it, especially the further they get away from Texas, then you’ve got people from Austin who are like the elitist Texans, they’re like the oddest mix of hippie and redneck. They often pride themselves on the hippie and denounce the redneck while still obviously being one."
– serene_brutality
Things having to do with money can be an obsession and really take over the essence of a person.
Living Work Or Work For A Living?
"Their job."
– CassiopeiaDwarf
Value Of Conversation
"Or just money in general. I worked with a guy who only ever talked about what things were worth, mostly vehicles. What he was thinking about buying. How much he could sell something for. The trades he wanted to make. How much our customers made. What motorbike he bought before from a guy on the street we happened to be on and what it's worth. That's all. It was annoying as f'k. Any conversation at all, you could be talking about your grandma, and he immediately tries to change the subject to value. It was literally the only small talk he knew. The fact he was poor just made it sad."
– Kossimer
Just Cut The Pricetag
"Omg my husband is kind of like this and as much as I love him, it's so frustrating. I'm just not all about money. We don't need to tell the kids how much their gifts cost. Idk. It makes me a little nuts."
– bohemianlikeu24
Power Of Money
"True, I lived it twice. First time I was a young, driven, ladder climber. Second I was a greedy, grab All the Cheeto’s before everything goes to pot… then when it did in 2008, financial collapse happened, I became lost. I’d let 95% of my identity become my job when it disappeared so did I. Took over a year to get my head right."
– DanMittaul
Ever been told that you're turning into one of your parents?
That's another phrase often uttered, especially by a sibling who sees that you have slowly taken on the characteristics and idiosyncrasies of your mom or dad.
Learned behavior or genes?
Could be either or both. What do you think?
At one point in our lives, many of us have experienced the sensation of loneliness.
We've tried our best to fit in but seemed to fail at every turn to join an accepting community of like-minded people.
But that doesn't always come easily, but when it does, we go all in without really doing our research because we prefer to hold onto that initial feeling of acceptance.
Unfortunately, not all groups have genuinely good intentions. Because before you know it, you find yourself having been sucked into a cult.
Or maybe something that isn't but feels like one. But what is that exactly?
Thankfully, Redditor MichaelScottssmug put our minds at ease and asked the Reddit beehive:
"What isn’t a cult but feels like a cult?"
Facebook groups can include some very manipulative personalities.
The Dog Owners Group
"Some dog owners groups on facebook are very culty like. Got banned from one group for not crate training my pup. I like her sleeping in my bed as it helps with my anxiety."
– LittleWolfPuppy
"Completely Nutso"
"Yep, and they can be completely nutso in either direction. Some of them are all micromanage every moment of your dog’s life, constantly showing dominance so that it knows you’re the alpha. Flip it on its back twice a day and stare directly into its eyes until it looks away in submission. Take away its dinner every now and then and make it watch as you throw it all in the trash, just to keep it from getting too comfortable. If it doesn’t respond to hand signals and commands in six languages, you’ve utterly failed.”
"And others are like 'if you have any rules or boundaries whatsoever with your dog, then you’re basically Cruella DeVille. Your dog’s needs and desires should be prioritized over literally everything and everyone else in your life, including your other pets, your spouse, your children, and yourself. If anyone is allergic to/scared of/just not a big fan of your dog, you should instantly cut them out of your life because your dog should BE your life.'”
– ugh_whatevs_fine
Mommy Dearest
"Mommy groups. And even specific groups. Like a cult within a cult."
"Joined a cloth diapering group. I was excommunicated for using Pampers at night."
"Breastfeeding? If you aren’t nursing till 4? Bye!"
– dollyprincessb
The One That Got Away
"My wife just left one. For a while, she found some feeling of belonging when she was feeling lonely at home. However, it wasn't worth the toxicity. Even by social media standards, there were some sh*tty indoctrinated people in there."
– caseyjownz84
Consequences Of Soliciting "Mom Knowledge"
"An acquaintance of mine got called out in the most glorious fashion when she got sucked into the local Facebook mommy group."
"She posted asking for 'mom knowledge' of how to handle a teething baby and got the insane responses you would expect. (Giving the baby hard liquor; puting special crystals around the house; you name it) Her husband caught whiff of the insanity, and instead of waiting to get home that evening, replied to the post, 'Perhaps you could ask your husband, the PEDIATRIC DENTIST. He probably has actual, proven medicine for this situation.'"
"I don't know what he said when he got home that night, but she never publicly posted in the mommy group again - probably to the benefit of their son."
– poplardem
Certain auto communities make Redditors feel like they're going nowhere fast.
Audi VIP
"Audi ownership (at least in the UK). I had an Audi Q3 as a hire car recently and other Audi drivers were suddenly letting me out at junctions, offering me parking spaces and even stopping to talk to me as if we'd known each other for years. I'm actually serious about this. It was weird."
– GenomeXIII
What The Duck?
"I add Jeep owners to this. They leave ducks on each other's Jeeps??? Why???"
– KromeArtemis
The Duck Discussion
"I only recently found out about the duck thing. I was walking out of the gas station and there's this lady just staring in my jeep, making little apprehensive motions as if she was going to get in. I ask if I can help her and she's saying she wants to leave a duck on the dash but she was afraid my dogs in the back seat might bite."
"She was so determined to give me, a random jeep owner, a duck that she was; standing in the cold, risking dog bites (not really as my boys are friendly goofballs but she didn't know that) and taking the risk that I might perceive this as someone trying to steal my truck/mess with my dogs or any other conclusion I could jump to at the moment."
"Ultimately I took her little Dracula duck and chatted with her for a couple of mins. Nice lady but very eccentric. The entire dash of her jeep was COVERED in rubber ducks. Like a duck army large enough to make her jeep float, no space to spare."
– roostersnuffed
BMW Entitlement
"It still sounds way nicer than "BMW cult" which consists of constant attempt to break as many road rules as possible in certain time."
– ReportInside9923
Some Redditors' cult-like fears hit too close to home.
A Living Nightmare
"My condo association.. No I will not host the ritual at my place again this month, Dave!"
– Birdmanu
Fixing The HOA
"My wife worked her way up to president of our condo association. She's so anti-HOA that she has basically made it non-functional and doesn't enforce anything. One of our neighbors is also anti-HOA and he got elected as treasurer so now they have a majority vote on the board and overrule the other voting member who is a snobby hateful old lady."
"Thanks all for the kind words, I want to clarify when I said that my wife has made the condo association non-functioning, I'm referring to the petty BS like welcome mat size and thickness that the previous HOA board seemed overly obsessed with. As a result, they ignored a lot of building maintenance and my wife is solely focusing on upgrading and fixing issues that were ignored for years or even decades."
– Geng1Xin1
The One To Vote For
"My father made a point of becoming president of any condo association (called Strata where I live). He didn't want power, he just wanted to make sure nobody else abused the position."
"At his previous apartment he was president for 5 or 6 years. He was pretty strict about maintenance. No matter how expensive, if something needed fixing, he levied for it and got it fixed."
"An older member (it was kind of a retirement home) really didn't like that. He wanted to pay as little as possible until he sold his unit. So when a roof levy came through, he went to every resident who was super old and kind of confused. He spun elaborate tales of corruption and got a couple dozen proxy votes in his pocket. He then used those proxy votes to vote himself in as president and vote my dad out."
"My father sold his unit less than 30 days later. He knew the guy was going to run the place into the ground and wanted out."
"Less than a year later the whole apartment complex was sold off to a developer who was going to level it. Apparently the roof maintenance they decided not to do caused big problems they couldn't afford to fix."
– shaidyn
I'm admittedly a hardcore fan of Disney, but let's be real. There are some weird, obsessed fanatics who are literally mad for the mouse, and I'm not even close to that level of mania.
Especially when it comes to merchandise. When I used to work at a Disney park, there would periodically be limited edition merchandise for sale to commemorate a specific event or anniversary. Annual pass holders would line up before the park opens to make sure they can snatch as many of these coveted items are allowed per purchaser so they can sell them on eBay for a king's ransom.
Disney pins are what many of these crazed fans are after, and they show up in line wearing lanyards decorated with their rare collection of pins for bragging rights.
I have no idea what they do for a living since they were always at the parks. Probably living off their eBay money.
I love Disney, but there are definitely others in the cultish community that put my level of passion to shame.
I've known many people who grew up in happy and stable families. I also know plenty of others who did not have the best upbringing or who don't get along with their parents one bit.
A while back, someone confided in me that they do not feel their parent were meant to have children. This was a lot for this person to take in. What would their parent's life have been like if they had felt comfortable or had been able to make a different choice?
It's a lot to think about — having a child is one of those singular events that can change the trajectory of your entire life.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor idkwhatoput_111 asked the online community,
"What are your views on having kids?"
"If you want them..."
"If you want them, raise them right. Discipline them, but be kind, don't provoke them to wrath. If you don't want them, that is valid. If you create something in this world, take care of it."
Nomadic_Narwhal
Agreed. Also understand that the world they are going to live in might be very different than the world you grew up in.
"Being firm but still reasonable..."
"Being firm but still reasonable and kind is so important. I'm as anti-authoritarian as ever existed, but if you're a parent you gotta RAISE a human and that's fundamentally different from being their buddy who they give easy love to because you let them do as they please."
Ffleance
You'd be authoritative, then, instead of authoritarian. Significantly better parenting style.
"I have a daughter and a stepson."
"I have a daughter and a stepson. I love them, and I love being a father, but if you don't want kids you shouldn't have them."
MeringueInternal563
Indeed. You should not have a child till you want one, and feel you are ready. They are a lot of work, and expensive.
"More people..."
"More people should ask themselves whether it’s really for them before having them."
CIsForCookie
Indeed. Sex education matters.
"I'm all for..."
"I definitely had friends who swore they weren't having kids just wind up pregnant. Some of them have grown into it and some haven't."
"I'm all for people changing their minds. We grow up. Follow your heart. But be careful it's not just FOMO or boredom or something."
Nonplussed2
Such introspection is definitely valued! More people should think like this.
"This could all be prevented..."
"I feel that if more people actually paused and took a second to ask themselves, “Is this really what I want? Or is it because society/family members expect me to?” there would be a shift in the number of people having kids - for the better. It isn’t good for anyone involved to have kids and then later realize it’s not for them, after the kid is here."
"Those people likely won’t be great parents, and they risk their kid feeling unwanted. That could all be prevented if more people just stopped to think about what they actually want in life, whether or not they are suited to handle the challenges of raising another human being, and cared less about what society or family expects of them."
zzz06
It should be presented as a choice rather than an expectation.
"I had parents that..."
"I am not neurologically suited to the role of being a parent. I had parents that should not have had any kids, let alone 5, so I am firm on this point. I cannot be a good parent, and in my opinion if you can't be a good one you shouldn't be one at all."
TemporaryProduct928
And if you grew up in a home with apathetic parents you don't want to live out that same apathy with your own children.
"Make sure..."
"Make sure you can afford them."
No-Consideration6589
Important point that it's more than just affordability — children can be emotionally taxing and you have to be capable of dealing with that.
"I wish people didn't see it..."
"I wish people didn't see it as "the next step" in life but just as a thing you can do if you have the desire and means to."
itsmyfrigginusername
That, and not seeing it as somehow being selfish when you choose not to have kids.
"Too many people..."
"Make sure you healed your trauma and generational trauma before even thinking about them. Too many people get children to fill an emptiness… turning the child into their own doll/therapist and then get upset when it becomes a person and not a mirror image."
kamalaophelia
Understanding and facing generational trauma is so important. Being able to have the courage to heal yourself can then make having children something you might consider.
As you can see, having kids is not an easy decision — and no easy task. It's always worth doing some soul-searching before you decide to have one, but life is of course much more complicated than that for some.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!