Ghosting is now the latest and hottest trend in our vapid social culture. Instead of telling someone to their face.... "I'm over you", "This doesn't work!", "I Hate You!" We just slink away into the shadows and leave others wondering if we've fallen off the Earth. Now it maybe necessary when escaping crazy but it often leaves too many doors open. You never know when you'll see them by sheer chance. Awkward!
Redditor u/infiniteplusultra wanted to hear how anybody could justify the silent peace out ways people are leaving certain relations with others by asking..... [Serious] If you have ghosted a loved one, a friend, a significant other, or anybody, why did you do it?
I ghosted my best friend at the time. For some reason she started acting all weird in senior year (she'd go weeks without talking to me or getting mad at me for minor things), finally at our graduation she talked to me and basically told me that she was not going to be my friend anymore because she believed that high school friendships had to end in order to "mature" as a person. Anyway, I was sad and frustrated because I couldn't do anything about it.
About 3 months pass and she sends me a text saying that she misses me and that what she said was a mistake. We started hanging out again and then she'd start acting weird again, then would go on and end our friendship again, that happened about 5 more times, until I just decided to stop replying to her texts.
Last time she texted me was about 2 months ago, in a long ass paragraph she asked if I missed her. I replied with a very short and cold text, told her that I didn't and was living a fairly enjoyable life without her in it. I realize that it might sound harsh, specially because she still tries to be friends again, but really... I was always there for her, she hurt me many times with the stuff she said and did, and even so I'd go back to her, trying to keep our friendship. At some point I just had enough and stopped caring for her. I don't resent her for it, just hope she can find a way to "mature" and be a better person. TheDeer6277
A Bad Friend.
A gay friend of mine was very pushy and demanding of pictures (nudes, shirtless, etc.) of me. It got to the point that i told him i was uncomfortable with it and requested he stop. He sent a massive tirade of how him being attracted to me was just how he was and implied that i was somehow being both a bad friend AND homophobic for not being flattered at his attention. I stopped talking to him altogether. Sucks because i miss my friend, I hope he is doing well, and i wish him the best, but boundaries have to be respected. damndingashrubbery
I ghosted my ex bf bc he was manipulating me for a long time and when i called him out he victimized himself and i was sick of it so i blocked him. pastel11037
The only person I ever cut contact with was my step father. He was a nasty drunk who liked to beat me up, held a gun to my head one time, just a generally sad sad man. I was 12 or so when the beatings started, 15 when the gun thing happened. I moved out at 17 and put myself through college. I'm a teacher now.
I just figured we were both better off without the other. I saw him twice in the last 25 years of his life. Once, I got to my moms house early and he accidentally met my then 1 year old son. That sucked. A couple of years later I had to find him at his apartment because my sister had an accident and was in the hospital. My mom separated from him when I was 20 but she kept trying to help him.
She told me that she didn't want him to die and leave her wondering if she could have done more, which I guess is noble. She couldn't leave him when he was awful to me bc she had little kids and no means of support. She left when he started in with my brother, so she knew it wasn't me, it was him.
When he died (prob of alcohol withdrawal) I wound up pretty much making all of his funeral arrangements. I did it for my siblings, who were his children, and who were wrecked.
So I cut him out to protect myself. I'm almost 50 now and I feel sorrier for him than ever. Chickiepie
Not Another Minute.Giphy
Attended their birthday dinner, their partner was repeatedly horrible to me whenever their back was turned.
Knowing it would my word against the boyfriends and we were not super close friends, I just faded away. I really don't want to spend another minute with their boyfriend or listen to then go on about them. Terryfoldyholds
A girl who I considered my best friend for four years got a DUI and lost her license, and couldn't get a work permit. I gave her rides to and from work for six months, while I was working overnights and going to school full time, so I was loosing a LOT of sleep because of it. It was about 45 minutes to an hour round trip depending on traffic.
I never asked for payment of any kind, and she never offered any. I even bought her Uber's home from the bars when we would go out, because she would regularly get far too intoxicated to function. When she finally got her license back, she basically acted like I didn't really exist anymore. She got a whole bunch of new friends and stopped inviting me places, and would only occasionally text/Snapchat me back.
I ghosted her then (trying to beat her to it I guess) but a few months later tried to rekindle it. Then she tried to screw my boyfriend (whilst very drunk) so I called it quits completely and blocked her on everything. It hurt a lot, and honestly still messes me up a year later. merfrogggg
My girlfriend off 6 years, she went away on army basic training. No contact for 63 days, I wrote letters and messaged her everyday so she wouldn't miss anything when she got back.
She got back. She was distant. Her cousin told me she was cheating and met someone else.
I just send her a text saying 'Don't contact me ever again, best wishes for the future. Love Unhappyspark'. unhappyspark
Too Much Drama.
She started dealing heroin out of her house and kept asking me to steal stuff from the veterinary hospital I worked at. I ghosted her and never looked back. Her and her mother blew up my phone for a while telling me what a huge piece of crap I am but I was afraid of her and I was a huge coward. Probably not the best way to handle the situation but also, heroin. FelixFelicis
It started with them claiming that they forget to check their social media often. After that, they admitted they were not telling the truth and that they were going through a bad time. After that, they continued to ghost me and admitted they were avoiding me for whatever reason. This carried on for six months, all the meanwhile claiming they were incredibly invested in the "friendship".
Even if they were not a malicious person, well, they certainly weren't ready for any kind of friendship. *Shrugs* SagetheWise2222
I've ghosted a few people and its because I consider myself a toxic person. Like I have so many issues that I don't want anyone to know about or be involved with so I cut them out of my life and run away. I tell myself they're better off not knowing or interacting with me but its probably because I don't know how to communicate things in a healthy manner. Maruchan7
Quit the Cycle.
They moved away and became a bit of a mess. They'd only contact me about dramatic crap and I got tired of constantly offering advice only for it to be ignored, which would lead to me having to offer even more advice.
Its all well and good being a supportive friend and some people make you feel guilty for abandoning a friend you're supporting.
It Just Happened.Giphy
I wanted to reply but didn't have the energy, then time passed and passed and passed and I was feeling anxious and ashamed to reply to something that was sent two weeks ago, so I just let it be. Flytrappy
But at the end of the day, you're a human being too with a life to live and if the other person is literally just using you to make themselves feel better then that's draining.
I made contact again last year and it took about 5 minutes for the cycle to start again, so I cut it off quickly (I'm a lot more confident than I used to be) and drew a line under it. pyromanta
Because they were abusive. You can't reason with abusive people. It's safer to cut all contact. Transplanted_Cactus
Anything you say will be used against you, literally. It's a never ending circle. Sometimes it's better to protect yourself and just leave - they wouldn't understand anyway. Physical-Echidna
Working on It.
Just throwing this out there. I travel for work. My trips can be from 1-3 weeks long. A few times I've forgotten my personal phone at home. Then I get back and have all the stuff I missed locally to catch up on. I can straight up disappear from the digital grid for a month if I'm not careful.
This ruined a few relationships I had with people, but those who understood that it wasn't personal stayed around. When I'm back, things pick up like I never left. Act like you care enough that time apart means very little, or that you miss them and it'll all be good. TheJackalsDoom
2 Way Street.Giphy
Realized I was always the one initiating hanging out so I just stopped texting them to see if they'd ever ask me to hang, haven't heard from them since. theitalianrob
Over & Out!
We would make plans to go out. I'd be ready to go and she would leave me waiting. I'd start calling and texting her asking where she is, but never receive an answer. I'd say forget it and go out with other friends anyway, only to run in to her hanging out with other people who I guess she thought were more important. I don't need fickle people like that in my life.
Also ghosted my core group of girl friends because I found out one of them had been spreading vicious lies about me while pretending to be my friend to my face. The others chose her. So I peaced out. It hurt like hell but my life is so much better and calmer now. pinkgallo
"Hey what's up?"
We went through bad breakups weeks apart and helped each other kind of piece things back together.
He got married after dating a girl for less than 8 months and thinking about breaking up with her a month in. Shortly after their wedding we talked less. They had a kid and I was the first person not in their family to meet the baby. We talked even less which I get kids keep you busy. Then he stopped texting me at all, then when we worked for the same company would try to walk right past me and avoid me.
That was my breaking point where I decided to just never initiate conversation again.
Ran into him a month or so ago, got the least sincere "Hey what's up" ever. We haven't spoken in over 3 years at this point and dude couldn't even give me a legitimate greeting or even "How've you been?" Just like "Hey what's up. Cool" then walked away without even saying see you later.
No idea why or what I did, but pretty much decided he can screw off. MrPureinstinct
I ghosted a friend last year. I was going through a rough patch in my life and I didn't have the energy to interact with someone like her (she was very talkative, outgoing, and constantly wanted to hang out). Looking back on it, I regret it a lot. She was still very nice and caring, and it's not like it was her fault that I wasn't doing too well. I've thought of reaching out to her again, but I'm not sure how she feels about the whole ordeal now. curtaincallz
7 Years On....
Not proud of it, but my father. He had a mental breakdown after my mom passed and after several attempts to get him help including offers to pay for therapy, going with him to therapy, Baker Acting him, spending 5 years of no contact then finding him and moving him to the city I was living in & trying again from square one, I finally gave him an ultimatum-seek help and we will work on this father-child relationship or go about your life without me.
It's been 7 years or so & I have kept him out of my life as much as possible. We were never close but he is a good person. I wish him well and hope he is happy, healthy and safe. I have no siblings or grandparents. I guess you don't know what you're missing if you never experienced it. All that being said, it has had a giant influence on me being child free. buickbeast
I ghost toxic people. It's just easier than explaining to them that you hate them as a person. realsies11
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/