
Cults are a very imminent issue to be on the alert for, especially these days. People fall into the masses all of the time without ever realizing they are giving away their identity. We never realize when we're being indoctrinated, that's how good the snake oil salesmen are, they are gifted in their vile ways. So that is why it's always so inspiring when we learn the stories of those who survived and ran for their lives.
Redditor u/Hattmyler1227 wanted to hear the best stories of triumph over the masses by asking.... For those of you that escaped cults... what was your, "I need to get the f@@k out" story?
Life Hack...
Former Jehovah Witness, the way they treat people who aren't in the religion and also how they treat people who do get ex communicated.
Reminds me of a life hack: if a Jehovah's Witness comes to your door say you've been ex-communicated and see how fast they gtfo of there.
"Wait a second..."
I've got one. For some reason this is the one that made me go "Wait a second..."
I brought home a kitten as a child. Very young. Was abandoned at a rest stop down the road from us. I loved and bonded with that kitten for two weeks. My parents knew and allowed it.
One day, my mom punished me by making me dig a hole in the back yard, having my stepdad smash the kitten in it then chop it's head with a shovel, then shoot it. All while I watched. Because God told them the kitten was sick.
That one had me pressing charges and taking full action the moment I turned 18. I messed them up good, but it left me with scars.
Out on Monday.
I don't love talking about it, because I'm embarrassed I ever fell for it, but I was briefly involved in a MLM about 11 years ago, that in ways I view like a cult now. I'm talking meetings all the time, peer pressure to give up info on your friends so they can be pestered to join. These people's whole friend groups revolved around the MLM.
So we went to a big weekend conference and on Sunday morning they had church services for each religion that went on simultaneously before the last day of "business training." I'm not a religious guy so I asked my group to just get me after church, and they agreed. So Sunday morning, someone comes to grab me from the hotel room and we head over. Low and behold it's church (the Christian service) and they're like "surprise! We thought you could use the good word!" And I was PISSED.
But the real deal breaker is what the "leader" of our MLM said, which I'll never forget.
"We have business partners currently worshiping in our Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist services. And we love them and support them...even though we know they'll be in hell, because they can't join us in the kingdom of heaven."
I told them I was out on Monday.
being an outcast....
I was raised in a Christian church that was borderline cult status. No music. No movies. We were told never to get close to anyone who wasn't from the church. Using a condom is a sin. And it isn't uncommon for 16 and 17 year olds to get married before they graduate high school. And I knew I had to leave when during the sermon the preacher told the congregation that it was a sin to think too much about what they told us.
Most of my family still goes to that church so I'm kind of an outcast. People outside the church don't care to know me because I'm so much different mentally and people from the church barely will look at me because I left it.
translations.
Former Mormon. Ever seen the South Park episode wherein Joseph Smith "translates" the Book of Mormon using a hat and a rock? The entire episode is factually accurate.
Mormons are historically racist and extremely sexist to boot. Their entire dogma reads like the insane ramblings of a hateful, exclusionary, lustful snake-oil salesman. Because it is.
New Beautiful Life...
This will get buried, but this hits home hard. My realization that I needed to get out came when I found it was easier to tell my parents that my girlfriend was pregnant rather than tell them I didn't want to go on a Mormon mission as a 17 year old. It's been 10 years and looking back it makes no sense, but it lead me to a beautiful life and I'm immensely grateful. Now I'm the father of the two most incredible children and I haven't looked back. Forget the Mormon cult.
a sort of crusade....
Not me, but I worked with a South African guy who joined a sort of crusade. There was a very charismatic leader and a core group of followers convinced that they were going to collect funds and then go establish a mission in some eastern country (not sure which). My colleague joined up and they travelled to Europe, going from city to city holding rallies and collecting funds.
After a couple of months, he figured out that there was never going to be any mission, the whole point was to make the rounds and collect funds. He confronted the leader, who immediately booted him off the bus in the middle of nowhere. They were in a country where he didn't know the language, with no money and just the clothes on his back, and no work permit.
He found a farmer who was willing to let him work for a few weeks off the books, and he earned enough to get a flight back to S.A.
He and I were in an actual mission together and he was very sharp, not the gullible type. Some cult leaders are just very, very good at convincing people of something that turns out to be a lie. Not unlike a lot of politicians.
Amway/LTD
I was in Amway/LTD for a year and a half. I realized I needed to get out when:
- I found out about the killings of gays in Chechnya and began to suspect that I was unwittingly funding that or similar activities through my involvement in Amway due to the extreme conservatism of the environment (and how our top leader mentioned that Russia has more morality than us (USA) and we need to catch up). (Out of curiosity, I later found out that one of the DeVos foundations donated to NOM which worked toward enacting severe legal punishments for homosexuality in Uganda.)
- I couldn't get out of my seat while a speaker was talking and couldn't not donate $236 to Here Be Lions during Sunday morning service at conference because of expectations that had been subtly drilled into my head, even while already suspecting what I mentioned in (1). GWCooke25
The Nightmare....
Not me, but my aunt is a Jehovah Witness. I was 12 years old and was interested in gothic/emo culture. After watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas," she pulled me aside and told me if I didn't stop messing with the occult, I'd be assaulted and attacked by demons.
Yeah. I'm an atheist now.
47 Years In....
After 47 years of strict adherence, I was sitting in church one day looking at Facebook on my phone, came across an article and begin reading it, jaw hitting the floor, while in church (using the church Wi-Fi as I read this expose on the same church I was sitting in) which led to 2 1/2 months of intense research that opened my eyes to the lies and hidden history of the Mormon church.
Despite how badly I wanted to avoid the awakening bc it would mean that my entire life up until that point had been hijacked from me by a fake religion and fraudulent founder, the mounting evidence eventually overwhelmed me and I stopped believing. That was 2 1/2 years ago and I cannot express through words how much it means to me to now have the rest of my life to be my own, not a series of decisions that I will make under the false teachings of the Mormon church.
The most difficult part? None of my close friends or family, except for one of my five children, will talk to me about any of it or read any of the articles that could wake them up, despite many of the articles being found in official church literature and sources the church accepts as true.
I'm just a kid!
My cousin and I talking on the phone when we were 16 and he had just gotten diagnosed with cancer. We were Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't allow blood transfusions. To live, Trent was going to need blood transfusions. I can still hear him saying "I don't want to piss off Jehovah but I don't want to die. I'm just a kid!"
And all at once I went from being a good little JW kid to only doing what I absolutely had to because I still lived with my parents.
good faith
Went to a church that had a night where a faith healer came to visit. He "healed" a teenager of very severe asthma. As a sign of his faith, the teenager goes out on the bike trails without his inhaler the next day and almost dies. The pastor visits the family in the hospital and tells the heartbroken parents it was because they didn't have enough faith. And with that, I exit stage right. I say that because that's when I realized the whole thing was a damn show.
Jim Jones Way.
Not me, my mother. She used to go to a church/college up in New Jersey. Not gonna name any names here, but a cult none the less. No music, aside from Christian radio, STRICT dress codes, etc. She knew they were bad, but she realized she needed to gtfo when the preacher went up to the podium and mentioned offhand that while wrong, Jim Jones had a good point. This was in the 80s mind you, right after Jonestown.
never ending guilt....
I am a Former Jehovahs Witness. It was a a lot of things, but a big one was that I never felt like I could do enough, it was constant, never ending guilt. I used to think there was a problem with me, but I finally realized that no matter how much I did I would still feel like I wasn't doing enough and that this wasn't an accident, they wanted you to feel guilty and inadequate. I reached a breaking point and knew I had to get out for my own well being. Now I know more about cults and realize that this is a cornerstone of cult manipulation.
"disfellowshipped"
Two instances stick out to me, although I was just a child. My family was very involved and we didn't get out until I was a teenager. My mom is still a member.
1: My first time sitting in a crowded room while the elders or leaders of the group publicly announced someone being "disfellowshipped" or ex-communicated. Meaning they did something wrong and nobody was allowed to speak to them until they were reinstated. I just remember feeling so sick for them. They were publicly shamed and humiliated, and their family was also treated poorly usually. Everyone knew about their perceived wrong doings. Even as a little kid it just seemed so wrong to me.
Shouldn't we have been extra supportive and loving to people when they were struggling with bad choices? Shouldn't we be encouraging? It felt so gross and cruel. I knew then something was wrong but I was only about 5 years old and if you questioned anything it meant satan was putting lies into your head so I always just kept my mouth shut. If you tried to get out you'd be shunned too and lose everyone you loved.
2: When I was 8 years old, struggling with my parents divorce and my dads subsequent exit from the "congregation", and an older family member sat me down and told me that if I wanted to have a dad I needed to convince him to start going back to "meetings" and being a good member of the congregation otherwise he would die at Armageddon and I'd never see him again. What a f**ked up thing to tell a child.
These are just the two biggest instances that come to mind, but I have a whole lifetime of trauma from my years in the cult.
the memories....
I am an excommunicated JW. That means I was never baptized so they were allowed to talk/preach to me still and my parents would send them to my door constantly. I told my husband at the time that if they came to the door to tell them we were disfellowshipped and they would go away.
So the next time they stopped by I sent him to the door. But in his confusion and misunderstanding he told them we were dismembered and can't talk right now. I had hoped by the look on their faces that that would keep them away but they are persistent buggers. Its a funny memory though.
"Beautiful Anonymous"
I happen to have an exact moment. Let me start with it was not a confirmed cult, however I was listening to "Beautiful Anonymous" hosted by Chris Gethard. And a person on his podcast was a cult survivor. The more she talked the more scared I got. I was going to a met up with some other members. I threw two of them in my car and made them listen.
We all quickly figured out what I had realized. We decided to stick it out, we had a trip at the end of summer, during the trip we made sure we were all in the same car, and we never came back. Without listening to that podcast I would have never in my life thought it was possible to be in a cult (or more in my case a cult like environment) but you can.
Tests from God.
When they wanted to install Covenant Eyes app on all of my devices including my work issued computer which contained access to multiple local celebrities information. They flipped out when I nope'd the hell out.
"going their own way"
When they changed their name. I had been sketched out for a while, but they made me alienate myself from all my friends outside the cult. So I stayed because I was worried I wouldn't have anyone. One day the pastor announced that they were changing their name and "going their own way." The other church they were partnered with dropped them because their views were getting too out there.
A cult church got dropped from a bigger cult church because their views were too crazy. Sitting there that night I decided I had to go. It sucked loosing so many friends but now I'm in school and have a job I enjoy, had I stayed with them I'd be married to whatever guy there was closest to my age and pregnant with my third child.
Oh Mormons.
Former Mormon, and when I was about 13 and couldn't get any satisfying explanation as to why women couldn't hold the priesthood- ie. Have any position in the church above a Sunday school teacher. Everything we learned and did revolved around becoming a good housewife.
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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