Yes children are beautiful gifts and being able to be parents is a miracle.
So many people long for the chance to build a family of their own with screaming children.
Whether a family is built through blood or adoption, it doesn't matter, it's a dream fulfilled.
But that doesn't mean it has to be for everybody.
We all don't have to be parents and many people really shouldn't, so let's support the people who choose themselves just as much as we support families.
Redditoronlinebeingwanted the childless to say their piece by asking...
Redditors that plan to probably not have kids, what are your reasons?
Enough Said.
Giphy"I was a teacher."
CatrionaPatricia
"I teach high school, and I have noticed that percentage of married teachers without kids is much higher than the average population. I think spending six to seven hours a day with kids really drives home how difficult having kids is, and that it is not a decision to make lightly."
Workacct1999
Legacy.
"I'm horrible at handling stress and sleep deprivation, and I probably have a genetic disorder that I absolutely don't want to pass on."
bonita__applebum
"I have so much crap in my family, from cancer to dementia that I'd be terrified to pass along."
JimBobSandoval
Disorders.
"Diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I've seen r/raisedbynarcissists and I am not putting any kid through that."
buzz_darkyear69
"Narcissism is very complicated, and it's also a spectrum. Narcissistic people are perfectly capable of being good people."
Animalgirlmep
So Many Reasons.
"Couldn't afford raising kids. Didn't have good upbringing so wouldn't know how to raise one. And the fear of pregnancy messing up my body. "
Smokeyeyemiss
"At some point I might've been on the fence about having kids, but there was a thread on AskReddit that went along the lines of, 'What's the worst part of pregnancy that nobody talks about?'"
"That's how I, an adult woman who's taken multiple iterations of sex ed, first heard about shit like massive tears, about being intentionally cut open from your anus to vagina to give the kid more room to escape, and never being able to hold your pee ever again. No thanks dude."
Not for Me.
Giphy"I don't feel like sacrificing my life for them. I salute all of you, people, who do this. But tell me honestly, wouldn't the world be a better place, if people only made kids when they want to have kids instead of just doing what is expected of them? "
AzarTheGreat
Born Free!
"My wife and I like our freedom and money."
PM_GUITAR_PICKS
"My husband and I have use-it-or-lose-it time off to burn before the end of the year, and we were talking about what to do with it. Neither of us really felt like taking a staycation, because we knew we'd just end up working. So after talking about if for like ten minutes, we went to Costco's website and booked a trip to Hawaii. We leave right after Thanksgiving."
ObscureEmoji
Never felt like it.
"I've never had that 'I really want kids feeling.' Ever. I'm in my thirties, if it were going to come it would have been here by now, and there's no way I could blithely create a whole new human hoping it turned out hunky dory without actually wanting them."
"I mean of course it makes life in the performing arts more feasible without kids, I don't have to worry about my already-fragile body taking serious damage, I can sleep, I can save money, etc etc but if I wanted kids, those "reasons" wouldn't matter."
"The only reason that matters is that I just don't want kids. The same way I don't want a parrot — they're amazing for other people, but I don't want one in my house."
"Edit: I was briefly pregnant when I was 27. It's not "different when it's your own." I got sterilized at 29 and I am still consciously grateful at least once a week that I can live my life on my terms without being paranoid about another accident."
Subtlety87
Crappy Choices.
"I know how crappy this sounds but if my child came out autistic or with some severe mental issues, I just couldn't do it and it's not fair to them, my wife, or any of their siblings that would be guilted into taking care of them when I die."
SHROOMHEAD666
"I was married in my 20s and it came to light fairly quickly that her gene pool was going to make any children we had a coin flip. Knowing what struggles she was facing, we decided early on that we couldn't do that to a child and just live with it if they turned out having the same or similar issues."
"I got used to the idea of never having kids pretty easily and embraced it soon after that. When my wife passed away, I actively looked for partners without children and found a girl with similar preferences. 10 years later, we are very happy with our decisions."
Darth_Corleone
Witnessing the Truth.
"I was open to it until my brother and sister-in-law had kids. Nope. Not a chance. They have no time to themselves, they're always tired, they've aged terribly, they don't get to do things that they want any more. They love it and my niece and nephew are lovely, but that's as close to that lifestyle as I'm willing to get."
Resentments.
Giphy"With my current mindset, I'd be an awful mom. Resenting my kids for my lost freedom. But who knows, I might grow out of it."
wanderforward
18+ years
"Every once in awhile I check in with myself and try to imagine the most amount of time per day that I would be willing to commit to parenting for 18+ years (but obviously more so in the first 5-10) and it's never more than 20-30 minutes... I feel like I would have to be okay with giving up at least 4-6 hours for it to even be a possibility worth thinking about."
No Kids.
"I don't like kids. I fear that they'll end up having a social-limiting condition that would make or difficult for them through life. I fear for my wife's pregnancy and all the risks that go with it. I fear that, no matter what, they'll end up in a gang or just freaking loser."
"I grew up with amazing Friends, raised the same but each got deviated into different stuff (obviously) but some went directly to the crapper. Bad economy in my country to have a kid."
Redna_VanLee
Money Issues
"2 reasons - I live very nicely with only myself to take care of, but it is paycheck-to-paycheck. Again, not struggling, but it's just comfortable enough for me. It wouldn't be realistic to bring a huge burden to that. I also worry a bit about how much of my mental illness they'd inherit."
SamuraiPanda201
Not Me
Happy Kids Say The Darndest Things GIF by CBSGiphy"I don't see me ever finding someone to have kids with, and I personally think with the way my life currently is it wouldn't be fair to adopt or get a surrogate etc."
evilabed24
We like our time...
"My husband and I were upfront with each other from the beginning... neither of us should be parents. I love kids. They’re great. I like giving them back to their owners more. Mental and physical illness don’t run in our families, it gallops like a racehorse."
"Bipolar, clinical depression, suicide, schizophrenia, arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, addiction, autoimmune disorders, and cancer are throughout both family trees. Men on my maternal side tend to drop dead of massive heart attacks before 65. That’s not a fair playing field to plop a child onto and I couldn’t do it."
"We're also poor and deeply selfish. We like our time. On top of all that I know my temperament. I stress easily and break down sometimes, becoming nonfunctional. I couldn’t bring a child into the world with the knowledge they’d resent me as a parent."
inmyotherpants79
Stability
"Okay so it might be a slightly different answer to what you'd expect from that question, but well. I'd like to have kids, but I don't want them to be genetically mine; even though I'd love to experience pregnancy myself, I think that if I had a life stable enough to be able to support a child, I don't see why I shouldn't adopt one that is already born and is in need of a loving family."
improdige
Little Lives
"I think I'd be a great dad, but internally I'd hate the crap out of it and probably resent myself. Kids are the worst they are narcissistic little messes who basically keep you locked in stagnant while they grow up for 18 years. I don't like taking care of my responsibilities now, and you want me to take on more responsibilities? With their little lives on the line? No thanks, my gf and dog are enough responsibilities for me."
i_*uckin_luv_it_mate
Unfair
"I don’t like kids, for one. I’m also disabled and my condition causes a lot of pain and fatigue so I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. It just wouldn’t be fair."
LoveAndDynamite
I had ruined her life...
"My mother and grandmother constantly told me that having kids would ruin my life. I never could figure out when it would be a good time to ruin my life. So instead of 3 kids and no money, I have no kids and 3 money. Actually 7 houses and a dog. And, yes, my mother constantly told me that, as first born, I had ruined her life. She could not become the air force pilot, archaeologist, race car driver that she wanted to be."
inkseep1
Hell No!
Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULUGiphy"I saw my older sister give birth (she wanted family around super hippie chick) that was more than enough to put me off."
WellieThomas
Aggressive...
"I aggressively do not want kids. Other people's kids annoy me with their sounds and fluids, and I know that mine would annoy me ten times more with it being always in my face and needing constant attention. I'm glad there's people out there who can give kids happy, loving homes, and I don't hate kids (they just make me uncomfortable and gross me out) but maaaaaan it is not for me at all."
dal_segno
Children are a huge responsibility and they're not for everyone. People have very valid reasons for wanting them and for wanting to avoid them at all costs. Both points of view are completely valid.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
The ones that have come to fruition but caused an uproar were mentioned when Redditor Future-Game asked:
"What is the most controversial TV shows of all time?"
Shows pushing the envelope were so risqué. Some aged well over time. Others didn't.
Taboo Topics
"I don't know about all time but the time it aired here in Canada, the original Degrassi High series. They covered so many topics that weren't really covered on mainstream shows back then. Even still somewhat taboo today. And everyone my age watched it and talked about it the next day."
– YEGMusic43
Outing Ellen
"When Ellen Degeneres's character came out as gay on her sitcom, there was a f'king firestorm."
– seanofkelley
Tame Drama
"Believe it or not the comedy SOAP was highly controversial when it premiered in the late 70s. It's done by the same people who did GOLDEN GIRLS. SOAP is so tame by today's standards a ten year old could watch it."
– ComedianRepulsive955
Chappelle's Show.
"I like South Park as an answer, but if we are talking about pushing boundaries, Chappelle's show at least deserves a mention. The Black, White Supremacist alone was wild to see on TV, and it was the first episode of the show to air."
– WaKa_
Reality bites. So did these reality competition shows.
Trash Talk Show
"Jerry springer, what a sh*t show."
– Jok3r609
When Looks Are Everything
"The Swan - a show about generally average, everyday women with low self esteem (due to a variety of factors), receiving plastic surgery and whole makeovers. Every episode would feature two ladies and a "winner" would be decided between them. At the end of the season, all of the winners would be put in a pageant to compete and see who would be dubbed 'The Swan'"
– DungeonFam30
Questionably Racist
"Takeshi's Castle / MXC wasn't exactly controversial at the time, but the production of that show seems awfully exploitative by today's standards (and for the English dub, horribly stereotypical and downright racist at times). We've since watered it down severely with versions like Wipeout, but the real ones know what the lineage of shows like that is."
– plasma_dan
Ultimate Exploitation Of Privacy
"Big Brother. How about we mix the worst people with the most exploitative form of entertainment whilst also casually normalising invasion of privacy."
– JFSOCC
Just because it was family friendly didn't mean everyone approved.
Representation Matters
"Sesame Street - When this show debuted in 1969, TV channels in the southern US refused to air it because it’s racially mixed group of children playing together was too controversial."
– virago72
Beavis And Butt-Head
"Surprised I haven't seen Beavis and Butt-Head on this list yet. When it came out everyone was freaking out."
– l06ic
Swearing
"Southpark, we went from outrage at Bart saying "eat my shorts" to Cartman feeding children their parents."
"I mean swearing on TV was less prominent , then Southpark pushed that forward quickly as well, all of a sudden "A**" and "Bullsh*t" were on standard TV."
– nonaestet
Every now and then a show comes out and sends audiences clutching their pearls.
But sometimes, even an episode from a relatively tame TV show can send viewers reeling with topical moments.
Examples of this include the much-hyped same-sex kiss on Melrose Place in the 90s that was ultimately edited to imply the act and the One Tree Hill arc that explored school shootings–which was considered daring and admirable at the time for addressing a malaise that continues plaguing the US today.
"Anyone here who decided to leave their job on the first day? What made you decide to run right away?"
Questionable Ethics
"They wanted us to make our first sales to friends and family members."
"F*ck that."
"If your first option is for me to make money off the people I care about most, there's really nowhere to go but down (morally)."- Mxysptlik
Thrown Into The Deep End
"They sent me to a room to do a bunch of on-boarding paperwork and those incredibly dull orientation videos companies love so much."
"Less than 10 minutes into it the manager comes in and tells me they need to cover the sales floor immediately because I was the only person for the department that day."
"No training, no computer logins, no idea where anything in the building was or who any of the dozens of other people wandering around were or even what was really expected of me."
"Just go and solo a department that usually had between five and eight staff at any time."
"I gave it a shot for like 45 minutes, and realized the whole place was staffed by miserable entitled f*cks who went out of their way to avoid work."
"I just walked out without saying anything."- SlothOfDoom
Being More Knowledgable Than Your Bosses
"I'm a fish hobbyist and I got a job in the fish department at PetCo."
"On my first day they wanted me to take out all the rocks (substrate) from each tank, scrub them and put them back in the tanks, one tank at a time."
"Moving substrate releases bad bacteria and can get the fish sick or kill them."
"I explained this to them and said that it was best to just do a water change for 20% of each tank."
"They said, basically, sorry this is what corporate says and you have to do it."
"I was like, 'Okay, I'll do it after lunch'."
"I never came back from lunch."- adura_grounded
Under The Sea GIF by Super SimpleGiphyNot Honoring Their Contract
"They lowered the rate from what was agreed upon and became upset when I spoke up about it."- Wonderful-Job3514
Mis-Management
"Wendy’s."
"There was an assistant manager whose only job seemed to be pacing around behind us during lunch rushes, repeating in a dull monotone, 'c’mon, let’s make those burgers. C’mon, let’s go faster, make those burgers'.”
"When I didn’t make burgers fast enough because my only training consisted of watching a 30-minute video, the manager sneered, 'why don’t you just go wash dishes, then? You CAN wash dishes, can’t you?'"
"That’s when I walked off the job."- LanceGannon
And You Thought YOUR Boss Was Horrible...
"I didn't even last a full shift."
"It was Pizza delivery."
"It was the early 90s; I was 20 M[ale]."
"My first shift was in torrential rain, driving a 1967 VW Beetle (with a flat windscreen)."
"Two orders required me to go back because the pizzas weren't the ones ordered."
"Then I arrived back to see that one of the other drivers had been shot in the leg with an air-rifle by Ricky the Shift-Manager.
I started at noon."
"Quit at 8.30pm."
"Can't remember if I was ever paid; didn't care."- EvilBosch
anna faris pizza GIF by Overboard MovieGiphyKnowing Their Self-Worth
"I was a car mechanic fresh out of school, hit up a local shop that hired."
"Their working conditions were trash, I bailed after the first day."
"Second one wasn't much better, in fact it was far worse, but I saw more potential in the work and needed the experience."
"It was a privately owned bus company that needed a mechanic to service their sh*t."
"It was the middle of winter and the garage had no heat, it was badly equipped, no car jacks so laying on the cold ground, etc."
"Also as it turned out, the fleet consisted of brand new buses that had to be serviced at the dealership to maintain the warranty, so I had no work whatsoever."
"Instead the guy wanted me to do basic maintenance work around the HQ."
"Mind you it was so cold outside that in 10 minutes I couldn't feel my fingers and if I went inside the main building to heat up, he complained that I wasn't working."
"Caught pneumonia after just 3 days, went back a week later when I was feeling better and quit."
"Third time was the charm."- DangerousTrashCan
And Yet, They Don't See A Problem?
"We hired someone to work at a freezer warehouse and he only showed up for one shift."
"He seemed ecstatic about the pay (20/hr for basic material handling, picklines, etc) but seemed to realize that humans hate being treated like machines and that's simply not worth it so we never saw him again."
"He was not the only one."
"My favorite time is when my manager hired 18 new people because he fully expected 80% of them to flake and not show the next day."
"Sure enough, only 3 even showed up."- ASaltyBiscuit
season 8 warehouse GIFGiphyDid They Actually Think They'd Get Away With It?!?
"Was supposed to be an office job, straight salary."
"Got there the first day and it turned out to be door to door sales, commission only."
"Not even people who had expressed interest."
"Just literally cold calling but in person at their door instead of on the phone."
"Didn't even stay to hear the end of their explanation of how really if you think about it this is the job they advertised and interviewed me for, just better because..."
"I don't know, some bullsh*t, as I said, I had left by then."- Zer0Summoner
Not Once, But Twice
"I actually did this twice."
"The first time was because I was a college student and needed a job to pay rent."
"Got a job working in a new call center that had opened up in my home town."
"It was awful.""The atmosphere was toxic, the boss was a horrific a**hole, and there were all sorts of shitty 'metrics' and goals, etc. you had to reach."
"I just never went back after the first day."
"Called them the next morning and told them it wasn't for me."
"The second time was a deal where I interviewed for a job that I was pretty excited about where I was going to be leading a team dealing with advocating for some issues in international politics."
"I was super excited."
"The interviews I had were done in a cafe."
"They sent me the address of the office and I arrived for my first day and it was some decrepit, barely standing office with the most outdated computers and office equipment."
"The 'team' I was going to be leading had been referred to as 'a small team' in the job interviews."
"In reality it was one lady who didn't speak either of the languages I speak."- mejok
Third Time Definitely Wasn't The Charm
"$20 for parking wasn't included in for being an employee."
"This was when min wage was 11.50.so you work 2 hour and pay your employer."
"F*ck that."
"Another place I worked open kitchen caught fire."
"All the customers could see this."
"They didn't make anyone leave."
"They kept putting food out!"
"They expected me to clean up their now burnt kitchen."
"Nope nope nope."
"Another place had defrosted chicken by leaving it outside of the fridge over night."
"On the floor."
"During the summer."
"Rats scurried away from it when we turned on the light."
"Called the safety department on that one."- Elfere
Inconsistent Would Be An Understatement
"Slowly started changing the terms of employment during the day."
"Started off '10 hour days 5 days a week £8/hour'."
"Shifted to 'sometimes you have to work weekends too'."
"Then 'actually it's crunch season right now so we're going to expect you to work Saturday and Sunday this week."
"Then 'actually we'll need you to stay Saturday and Sunday most weeks'."
"Then 'You'll be working Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future'."
"Then 'We'll need you to stay a few hours after work today'."
"Then 'Actually you'll be working 12-14 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 6 months'."
"Yeah nope."- NewRoundEre
Bye Bitch Get Out Of My Face GIF by Becky GGiphyWe've all had jobs we've hated, which we muddle through just for the money.
However, one's self-worth is always more important than a paycheck.
And when you notice your self-worth or safety being threatened, always best to act on it immediately.
