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Relationships take a lot of work, and a lot of people end up failing pretty hard before they learn to get it right.

Sometimes it's something one party in the relationship does, but sometimes it's just that they realize they're not a good fit for each other.


Relationships end for a lot of reasons, so Reddit user u/zLulatsch asked:

"What ruined your first real relationship?"

20.

She wanted to make sure it was not gonna be a one night deal before we did anything and I told her I loved her so much I wouldn't do that. She was the one to call it quits after that one night happened.

-Iwantav

19.

It was long distance, he didn't feel like trying and I tried too hard, we both were in a terrible mental state. I broke it off after having to repeatedly remind him that I existed.

....Then we tried to stay friends and that was a TERRIBLE idea. We ended up simultaneously ghosting each other.

-KieAndStuff

18.

Being too comfortable and allowing the relationship to go stale; also being too young for the level of intensity a relationship needs to progress

-NorthernRothesay

17.

I discovered she already had a boyfriend, and I was the "side dude".

-LifeOfThePotty

16.

He quit his job after telling all his co-workers that the boss had depression and anxiety. He quit before she got a chance to fire him. I became the breadwinner and started to see how financially irresponsible he was. He had cut up a debt card and then the next day tapped it together. The other part got stuck in ATM.

-animelife71

15.

My parents wouldn't let me actually hang out with him. Got grounded every time they saw us together and whatnot. It was really frustrating.

-bobbyjellybean

14.

I thought I was hilarious. For her birthday I got her a card shaped like a cheeseburger that I wrote "Happy birthday fatass" in. I'm cringing just thinking about it (BTW she was nowhere near fat). I got her other birthday presents but I was going to give them to her that evening, because again: I thought I was hilarious.

Never got to give her the real presents, because her dad came to my work and threatened to beat me up, then she broke up with me.

-Lurkist

13.

I'm still in it, so hopefully it gets ruined by one of us dying of old age.

-Renmazuo

12.

Happened a week ago. We're together for a year and a half, engaged and she told me last week she wasn't in love with me anymore and left.

-bryceisaskategod

11.

She cheated and I caught her pretty much in the act of it. I decided to surprise her one day and showed up to find her half naked in her apartment with TWO other men, also both in their skivvies.

-ChristopherRabbit

10.

I was an ahole.

-saveemisalive

Me too. It was years ago, and I feel like I've bettered myself since then. But I still regret hurting someone that I truly loved. They tolerated a lot of shit to try to stay with me. I can only hope I'm a better person than I used to be, and that they're having a good life nowadays.

-2fastSOAP

9.

It sounds like a cliche, but I only liked the idea of having a girlfriend. In practice, it turns out I don't like it.

-untakenu

Sounds like you need a boyfriend.

-Rohxypoo

Tried that too. Don't like it.

-untakenu

8.

I changed. She was an incredible person and treated me better than anyone ever has. She loved me unconditionally, did so much for me and was selfless. That was how I was at the beginning of our relationship. Eventually, other things in my life were getting to me and making me a cranky ahole and I would take it out on her. Just things like the way I spoke to her, snapping at her, just being a piece of sh!t towards her.

Even when she would tell me and I would see her crying, it's like it wouldn't get through to me. I would do and say things that it wouldn't even dawn on me how mean they were until after the fact. When our daughter was born (and through the pregnancy), it was her making the sacrifices and going without sleep in the middle of the night. I was a lousy boyfriend and lousy father. She never deserved a single bit of any of that.

It wasn't until she broke up with me that it became painfully obvious (like hitting a brick wall obvious) the kind of horrible person I had become with how I treated her. I loved her, but I obviously didn't show that a good amount of the time. I had changed for the worst and I don't blame her one bit for leaving me. It's been nearly 9 years and a day hasn't passed that I am not thinking of this all through out the day.

I think I deserve that for what I put her through. Fair enough. I can't change how I was, no matter how much I wish I could erase those memories from her mind. But that realization and learning from mistakes, I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and have for years. I'd do anything to change the past, but of course, that's not possible and that's life.

-RyanPelley

7.

Him not respecting basic boundaries like leaving me alone when I needed space, telling his friends what we did in the bedroom, pushing me to do things so I didn’t want too, even involving his friends at one point.

-Shortkitsu

6.

She wanted to bone other guys. We were young and she was honest. I was devastated at the time but realized pretty quick I wanted to bone other girls too. All works out in the end.

-IEATHOTDOGSRAW

5.

We were a couple for roughly 6-7 years and during our last year I moved in with him to his apartment.

A few months before that, he rented a room to his childhood best friend and when I moved in I discovered he had the biggest crush on him.

His friend was straight and my ex never had a chance with him but still he was so tryhard... He would do anything for him, eventually I started getting bitter about this and started hating them both.

In the end I was an ahole to his friend all the time, I was distant with my bf and he ended up cheating on me with a guy from his college.

-SteveKareha

4.

Eh immaturity. We were young, socially awkward, neither of us knew how to ask for what we wanted or what fair expectations were. Kind of wish we had just fooled around or dated lightly and went our separate ways but, again, young.

-scarefish

3.

It was my fault. I was mentally abusive without meaning to. I cut the relationship off for our own good and took a long break from dating anybody to change. I'm now in a happy 7 month relationship.

-broavs

2.

I felt she was needy but instead of communicating this to her, I dumped her out of nowhere. In hindsight, I was just doing things for her without asking, because I assumed she was helpless without me (she wasn't), and it burned me out. Not really fair to either party, but I least I learned from my mistakes.

-twelvis

1.

We were both too young and both dealing with undiagnosed mental issues. We enabled bad behavior and shut down good behavior. Shared misery in all its "glory" and a very bad idea.

We've both become better people since breaking up. And no, I'd never want to date him again.

-DaughterEarth

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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