Relationships take a lot of work, and a lot of people end up failing pretty hard before they learn to get it right.
Sometimes it's something one party in the relationship does, but sometimes it's just that they realize they're not a good fit for each other.
Relationships end for a lot of reasons, so
Reddit user u/zLulatsch asked:
She wanted to make sure it was not gonna be a one night deal before we did anything and I told her I loved her so much I wouldn't do that. She was the one to call it quits after that one night happened.
It was long distance, he didn't feel like trying and I tried too hard, we both were in a terrible mental state. I broke it off after having to repeatedly remind him that I existed.
....Then we tried to stay friends and that was a TERRIBLE idea. We ended up simultaneously ghosting each other.
Being too comfortable and allowing the relationship to go stale; also being too young for the level of intensity a relationship needs to progress
I discovered she already had a boyfriend, and I was the "side dude".
He quit his job after telling all his co-workers that the boss had depression and anxiety. He quit before she got a chance to fire him. I became the breadwinner and started to see how financially irresponsible he was. He had cut up a debt card and then the next day tapped it together. The other part got stuck in ATM.
My parents wouldn't let me actually hang out with him. Got grounded every time they saw us together and whatnot. It was really frustrating.
I thought I was hilarious. For her birthday I got her a card shaped like a cheeseburger that I wrote "Happy birthday fatass" in. I'm cringing just thinking about it (BTW she was nowhere near fat). I got her other birthday presents but I was going to give them to her that evening, because again: I thought I was hilarious.
Never got to give her the real presents, because her dad came to my work and threatened to beat me up, then she broke up with me.
I'm still in it, so hopefully it gets ruined by one of us dying of old age.
Happened a week ago. We're together for a year and a half, engaged and she told me last week she wasn't in love with me anymore and left.
She cheated and I caught her pretty much in the act of it. I decided to surprise her one day and showed up to find her half naked in her apartment with TWO other men, also both in their skivvies.
I was an ahole.
Me too. It was years ago, and I feel like I've bettered myself since then. But I still regret hurting someone that I truly loved. They tolerated a lot of shit to try to stay with me. I can only hope I'm a better person than I used to be, and that they're having a good life nowadays.
It sounds like a cliche, but I only liked the idea of having a girlfriend. In practice, it turns out I don't like it.
Sounds like you need a boyfriend.
Tried that too. Don't like it.
I changed. She was an incredible person and treated me better than anyone ever has. She loved me unconditionally, did so much for me and was selfless. That was how I was at the beginning of our relationship. Eventually, other things in my life were getting to me and making me a cranky ahole and I would take it out on her. Just things like the way I spoke to her, snapping at her, just being a piece of sh!t towards her.
Even when she would tell me and I would see her crying, it's like it wouldn't get through to me. I would do and say things that it wouldn't even dawn on me how mean they were until after the fact. When our daughter was born (and through the pregnancy), it was her making the sacrifices and going without sleep in the middle of the night. I was a lousy boyfriend and lousy father. She never deserved a single bit of any of that.
It wasn't until she broke up with me that it became painfully obvious (like hitting a brick wall obvious) the kind of horrible person I had become with how I treated her. I loved her, but I obviously didn't show that a good amount of the time. I had changed for the worst and I don't blame her one bit for leaving me. It's been nearly 9 years and a day hasn't passed that I am not thinking of this all through out the day.
I think I deserve that for what I put her through. Fair enough. I can't change how I was, no matter how much I wish I could erase those memories from her mind. But that realization and learning from mistakes, I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and have for years. I'd do anything to change the past, but of course, that's not possible and that's life.
Him not respecting basic boundaries like leaving me alone when I needed space, telling his friends what we did in the bedroom, pushing me to do things so I didn’t want too, even involving his friends at one point.
She wanted to bone other guys. We were young and she was honest. I was devastated at the time but realized pretty quick I wanted to bone other girls too. All works out in the end.
We were a couple for roughly 6-7 years and during our last year I moved in with him to his apartment.
A few months before that, he rented a room to his childhood best friend and when I moved in I discovered he had the biggest crush on him.
His friend was straight and my ex never had a chance with him but still he was so tryhard... He would do anything for him, eventually I started getting bitter about this and started hating them both.
In the end I was an ahole to his friend all the time, I was distant with my bf and he ended up cheating on me with a guy from his college.
Eh immaturity. We were young, socially awkward, neither of us knew how to ask for what we wanted or what fair expectations were. Kind of wish we had just fooled around or dated lightly and went our separate ways but, again, young.
It was my fault. I was mentally abusive without meaning to. I cut the relationship off for our own good and took a long break from dating anybody to change. I'm now in a happy 7 month relationship.
I felt she was needy but instead of communicating this to her, I dumped her out of nowhere. In hindsight, I was just doing things for her without asking, because I assumed she was helpless without me (she wasn't), and it burned me out. Not really fair to either party, but I least I learned from my mistakes.
We were both too young and both dealing with undiagnosed mental issues. We enabled bad behavior and shut down good behavior. Shared misery in all its "glory" and a very bad idea.
We've both become better people since breaking up. And no, I'd never want to date him again.
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At one point in our lives, we have struggled to make ends meet and ate whatever we could to survive.
Curious to hear about the palates from strangers online, Redditor knightfall0 asked:
"What is a poverty food you'll always eat no matter how you're doing in life?"
These typical cultural cuisine are popular favorites.
"Cheap can of corn, cheap can of black beans, 3 cups of cheap rice."
"Tortillas for flair."
"Boom! Poverty tacos."
Magic Of Ramen
"Same. I've eaten expensive restaurant meals that still don't compare to a 25 cent ramen package."
"25 cent ramen package with a boiled egg marinated in soy sauce packets and sugar and some spinach if you have any for some veggie chef kiss cheapest dinner but makes it feel fancy."
What's In The Bowl
"Rice bowls are like half the meals I eat anymore."
Presto, Dinner Is Served!
"Random stuff in my fridge fried rice. Take the veggies that are about to go off, throw in some cheap white rice and an egg with some soy sauce and garlic- boom, dinner."
Bread-based meals seem to be an easy go-to choice.
The Sweet Spot
"The butter, cinnamon and sugar on toast combo. Always a classic."
For The Posh Palate
"Beans on toast and if I'm feeling posh maybe i will put an egg on top."
An American Classic
"PB and J. Hasn't failed me yet."
Good 'Ole Cornbread
"Cornbread and buttermilk. Seem to recall that my maternal great grandmother's house in the the early 1960s had a manual pump in the kitchen, an outhouse and oil lamps, no electricity! There was a big stump for splitting wood for the heat and killing chickens. Relatives had tractors but at least one still worked with draft horses...big horses. NE TN. And my Mother would eat salt sandwiches."
"I do like cornbread, various peas and beans and greens...a lot!"
Who said traditional side dishes can't be the main attraction? These folks, that's who.
"Mac and cheese with hotdogs or sloppy joes were top tier. I remember having to be careful to not take too much meat/noodles since we only had one can/box to share."
"If I had a million dollars, we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner (but we would eat Kraft Dinner)"
This Spud's For You
"Potatoes. Cheap, tasty and filling."
"Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew."
Instant ramen has come a long way. I go to one of several local Japanese markets here in Manhattan and there are literally aisles of a variety of ramen and yakisoba, my personal favorite, stocked on shelves to choose from.
Yakisoba is basically "fried" noodles. It is "instant" because you basically soften the noodles with boiling water and drain it after three minutes.
The sauce packets that come with some of these are an absolute delight, and I usually add scallions or even a hard-boiled egg.
It is cheap, simple to prepare, and absolutely delicious.
As adults, especially those who work with or have kids of their own, we have a responsibility to mold the young minds that will go on to be the adults of tomorrow. They are our future, and we owe it to them to raise adults that will be respectful and kind community members.
There are plenty of things we were taught as kids that we thought were harmless at the time. But years later those same things have become an issue.
We went to ask Reddit to learn about those issues that we should change for the next generation.
Redditor Ok-Department5749 asked:
"What should we stop teaching young children?"
Let's see how many of these things you heard when you were growing up.
Boys will be boys.
"That if someone is picking on them it means they like them. Gonna set them up for a lot of problems later in life."
"I have a personal beef with this one. The boy who harassed me because he 'just liked me' is now in prison for assault."
"Yep. I had my hair pulled and punched by a boy in third grade. Was told by both teacher and principal that it wasn't a big deal. Boys do that all the time and bedsides he probably just liked me."
"I hate that 'boys will be boys' crap."
"Boys will be boys is for when you and the boys decide to use plywood as a bike ramp, not when someone sexually assaults someone else."
You can't be everyone's friend, and that's okay.
"That everyone is your friend. It's not true. I had to tell my 9 year old niece that sometimes people aren't going to like her and it's just how it is. This broke her heart because there's a boy in her class who doesn't like her and she's been trying to win him over. She's so sweet and I hated having to tell her that."
"I am an ECE who works with school-age kids. My line is 'we aren't all friends here, and that is ok, but we have to treat everybody with respect/kindly'. I see lots of ECE's use the 'friend' terminology ex 'we don't hit our friends' 'your friends are trying to sleep'. I avoid the terminology like the plague."
"I've seen it backfire. I had a 7-year old tell me that it was ok that she hurt another child because the other child wasn't her friend (This was this particular child's first year with us)."
"This is great because it helps kids learn to treat others with respect while also helping them manage their own expectations about immediately being friends with/like by everyone (which obviously isn't the case). It's a gentle introduction to reality that will save them a lot of trouble down the line. I mean, I really wish I had been taught to build confidence in myself rather than my confidence depending on whether or not other people liked/approved of me."
"The 2nd part to that lesson is learning that a relationship is only worth your time if both people like each other."
"More importantly, if both people respect each other."
Older doesn't always mean wiser.
"That just because someone's older doesn't mean they are right."
"Maybe we should teach the older generation that just because someone is younger doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about. That is the problem I've seen."
"My husband's grandma gets mad when she's wrong. She always yells 'Respect your elders!'"
"Umm being wrong is just that. You find a correction and move on. Also, respect isn't just given. If you can't treat others the right way, no matter how many times you scream that stupid phrase at me, I won't respect you."
Consent is important in all contexts.
"That not wanting to hug someone is rude."
"I have four nieces and see this happen to them a lot. The youngest one doesn't always remember me. Her older sisters give me hugs with delight and I always tell the youngest to hug me when she's okay with it. I hate hugging people when I don't want to so I'm not gonna subjugate her to something no one can stand. It's so freaking weird."
"Glad someone said this. Children need to be able to say no to unwanted physical contact."
Stop forcing your kids to eat.
"To finish the food on your plate if you're not still hungry. Note: don't waste food. Save leftovers if you can."
"Was going to say the same thing. Kids are allowed to not like foods the same as adults. We have a 2 bite rule. I don't like avocado, so I don't eat it. My stepdaughter doesn't like green beans so I just don't put them on her plate. I never understood this or the clean plate thing. That can lead to eating disorders later on."
"Also doesn't help with sensory issues."
"My partner just can't handle the texture of 99% of vegetables. So I work around it with veggie noodles and blending vegetables. Since I love to cook, I love the challenge of making something healthy but working around the texture thing (I also have an aversion to some vegetables. Like cauliflower. I can't.)"
"To that end, cooking things in different ways is paramount. Don't just boil some green beans and call it a day. I used to hate collard greens until my mom made 'boozy' greens (I forgot what she put in them for liquor). Other people just boiled them and slapped them on a plate, but what she did was just more harmonious. Complex. Satisfying."
"Once I heard my aunt tell my nieces that they needed to eat everything on their plates, even if they didn't like it, because "someday you're going to start dating and you don't want boys to think you are a picky eater." I had a conversation with my own daughter later about how wrong that statement was."
"My brain audibly broke when I read that. Thank you for telling your daughter how wrong your aunt was."
"Those 'zero tolerance policies' where you get detention because someone punched you in the back of the head make any f*cking sense."
"I've never even heard a valid argument for this. It's always, 'You MUST have done something to incite this.' Like no, some people are just a**holes and you shouldn't be punished for their actions."
"The sole point of this is, and has always been, for school administrators to escape responsibility."
"We had a student break the zero tolerance policy. He got jumped in the hallway, threw his hands out to his sides away from the attacker, and screamed that he wasn't fighting back and that he needed help. Once he went to the floor, he balled up and kept yelling. He was a bigger kid than his attacker and could have handled it, but chose to take the hits."
"When he got called to the office and the zero tolerance policy was brought up, he pointed out that he never fought back, screamed that he wouldn't to de-escalate the situation, and that he needed help like students are taught to do when they are being bullied. Having done everything right, it wasn't a fight, it was an assault and if they punished him for being assaulted under their care, his parents would be blasting this everywhere they could."
"He never got punished and the other kid was expelled."
It's out responsibility to care about the young people in our lives and raise them to be respectful members of the community. It starts with us.
Now that we know better, we must do better.
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People often daydream about the easy life, where they can live in the lap of luxury.
"What would be your first purchase if you came into serious 'f'k you' money?"
People seem to want to be rich enough to live in seclusion.
This Land Is My Land
"Four sections of good pastureland. For those who don't know, that's 2,560 acres, 4 square miles. I'd build in the dead center and never have a neighbor less than a mile from me."
Float In My Moat
"i'd put in a lazy river that ran around the perimeter of my property."
My Own Private Island
"A big old f'k off island a float plane and a self sustained off grid community. Open my fishing camp."
Niche indulgences is the name of the game.
Get You A Fast Car
"SO has always dreamt of driving a Porsche. A very specific model, color, etc. He has it as his screen saver. I would get him that car."
"Paying off the land my husband died protecting so that we can build something to honor him by. Specifically turning it into a retreat for combat vets and active duty members."
"Hire a team of architects to design a big house and put in a bunch of secret passageways and rooms and not tell me how to find them so I can have fun discovering them over time."
"I'd buy a cul-de-sac of posh houses, gate if off and have my friends live there. They all work from home so doesn't matter where."
"Then one day, there will be deliveries to all the houses. Paintball guns. Masks. The full month."
"And as the clock strikes noon that day, I will have a loud battle cry (haven't decided the sound yet) play on a huge speaker."
"I don't need to tell them this is a battle to the death. They will already know..."
These Redditors were concerned about self-preservation without the stress of incurring massive debt.
Take Care Of My Health
"Go to the dentist, optometrist, and doctor without worrying that whatever needs to be done won't cause financial ruin."
"A good lawyer to get me set up for life."
Settle Debts And Drive Off Into The Sunset
"First purchase? Freedom: pay off student loans, mortgage, and any other debt. Can't think of a bigger f'k you :) then a couple Teslas lol"
If I ever came into a ridiculous amount of money, I would first build a retreat somewhere in Venice, Italy, and frequently host a masquerade ball where everyone is required to show up in Venetian Carnivale attire—just short of becoming an Eyes Wide Shut moment.
Then, I would build a luxury home in Tokyo, complete with a theater academy where new productions would constantly be workshopped at night while aspiring young performers hone their skills throughout the day in the many classes taught by my colleagues.
And my home base? Why, it would be near the beaches of Malibu in SoCal, of course.
I would bounce between my three properties in my own private jet.
It's not a big ask, is it?
Most inventions were made with the idea to bring progress to humanity, not to harm it. However, that is not always how things turn out. A prime -and sad- example of this can be found in the life of Alfred Nobel. Most people know his name as the creator of the Nobel Peace prize without a second thought as to what drove him to make such an award.
The tragic truth is that Alfred Nobel invented dynamite with the intent to help with industrial uses. After seeing the horrendous usage of his invention to kill so many people so easily he lived the rest of his life under the weight of an all-consuming regret. That led him to use his fortune to create an award for those who have done incredible things for humanity and peace.
Redditor IndependentHungry840 wanted to know other inventions that met a harmful ending and asked:
“What invention has done more harm than good?"
Constant media panic…
“24 hour news media. It is absolutely one of the most toxic, miasmic, foul things we could have ever come up with." wiredsignal
“What makes it worse is the "news" isn't just news, it's ONLY bad news. There's never an hour of only uplifting, happy stories that happened today. It's just a constant barrage of fear-mongering and misery." AdamNRG
Lead poisoning causes lower IQ and behavior disruption…
“There used to be lead in gasoline; they thought it would improve engine performance. Not only did it ruin people's lungs, many believe that it caused an increase in violent crime, because things like muggings almost disappeared after lead was taken out of gas.” doowgad1
“I'm pretty sure it was proven that after the invention of leaded gasoline, the average IQ dropped. And leaded gas was around for a pretty long time.” Marksman18
“Violent crime massively spiked in the US from about 1970-2000, right when atmospheric lead concentration spiked as well.” Agent_Orange7
Smoking is just bad all the way around…
“Cigarettes. Supposed to relieve stress and help the user feel in control due the nicotine inside which is of course highly addictive. Not to mention the myriad of other harmful things inside of them (Methanol/Rocket Fuel, Arsenic, Stearic Acid/Candle Wax, etc.)" Toa-Magnus
“The worst part is, cigarettes replaced tobacco pipes, which have substantially lower health risks, due to the fact that you don't inhale from a pipe at all, just "sip" the smoke and blow."
“Cigarettes' ease of use and popularity has also lead to tons of small tobacco growers just going straight out of business because the high temps cigs burn at and the filtered tip make the actual quality of the tobacco "less important" insofar as our friend Big Tobacco is concerned. Not to mention that same accessibility making childhood smoking much easier to pick up and hide."
“If you're a long-time smoker and have trouble quitting, you could at least consider transitioning to pipes, the learning curve isn't steeper than a few nights in google, and the smoke smells way better for bystanders than everyone's favorite acrid cancer stick. I mean, it ain't good for you, but it's leagues better than cigarettes." Strudel_Meister
This right here!
“Private prisons, the peak of modern slavery, prisons are meant to be reforming facilities/keeping criminals in check, not a business but if your country thought slavery was okay back then, why it wouldn't work now.” PsychologicalTart602
Education time: Part of the dehumanizing experiences to which prisoners are subjected work to only further isolate them from society making it more difficult to reintegrate upon release. The psychological damage and lack of prosocial connectivity coupled with social stigma and scare resources helps ensure a continuation of the crime cycle with extraordinarily high recidivism rates.
This means the United States prisons stay full so they can keep lining the pockets of the private ownership essentially incentivizing the people who run these correctional facilities to keep any true rehabilitative programming to a bare minimum.
Asbestos, not the fire proof miracle we thought…
“Asbestos insulation." Ancient-Pause-99
“I live where the asbestos mine just shut down ten years ago. You can't get your house tested for asbestos because it's literally in everything, so even brand new houses would test positive from the surroundings. All the other rocks from the mine were used all over in sidewalks, roads, Street lamps, etc.” RoselleLS
Eli Whitney’s inventions…
“Whitney's cotton gin in the 1790's. Made slavery profitable. When I took a class on antebellum economics a argument that had support was that before the 1790s slavery was in decline.” CSMURPHRUN
“Then Eli went on to develop mass production and gave it to the North allowing them to mass produce rifles with interchangeable parts. This led to the North's victory. Eli Whitney had arguably the largest impact on American history of any single person. Essentially providing the tools to start the civil war then end it.” Louis_A_Devil
Social Media Platforms…social media followers GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphy
“Social media ironically has made it harder to actually socialize with people and imo is responsible for a huge portion of social anxiety around the world." BradRogriguez
|“The issues caused by social media are much deeper than just lack of in-person connection and social anxiety. Mental health overall in teens and young adults is on a decline, and misinformation is spreading rampantly, people are even more divided than ever ideologically” kiwidog8|
“the original social media."
“The guy who invented the megaphone said he felt responsible for Hitler's rise. Before that, the most people you could really talk to at once was like 100. After that, one speech can reach millions.” skeetsauce
“Oh sh*t. The megaphone was the original social media.” Shermione
The lie detector test…
“Polygraph test. Its a stress test, in no way was it ever supposed to a ‘lie detector’. The inventor was beyond horrified and destroyed at the ‘monstrous misuse of his technology by law enforcement’.” MurrayMan92
“I think the way Keurig has evolved is hilarious. They started with the hugely wasteful cups that lots of people used. Eventually people realized how wasteful they were and pressured Keurig to make reusable cups. Now they're just a normal coffee machine.”
“They came from nowhere, invented a new technology, and eventually just ended up using the same old technology as their competitors and somehow ended up coming out on top” Lemon_Tile
While good intentions proceeded these inventions there certainly were grave consequences. It shows the bad sides of humanity in that if it can be weaponized it will be.
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