I hate clowns. Like a lot. I know a lot of people have a clown fear, but mine manifests more like an irrational anger towards clowns - thing is, I have a really good reason for it.
When I was younger, my mother decided to take me to a parade. She got a great spot up by the barricades and things were going great - until the clowns. I don't know what the hell this one clown was thinking, maybe they got caught up in the festivities or maybe they were a serial killer. Who knows.
What we do know is this clown reached over the barricade, took me out of my mothers arms, and just kept on marching. My mother (a whopping 5 feet tall) had to run after me, weaving through a Manhattan parade crowd, screaming that the clown had her baby.
Security wouldn't let her over the barricade, and the crowd wasn't exactly thrilled about being shoved aside. It took a while but eventually she managed to get me back and fire off some choice language to the clown in question.
Since then, clowns are like an instant no-thank you.
Reddit user @Sjuma19 asked:
Here are some of the best (worst?) responses.
Answer The Phone
That my parents are dead, especially when it takes them a while to answer the phone. It's the weirdest f*ing anxiety I have every time. I remember this anxiety as far back as when I was in grade school where my parents had to pick me up and I worry they are in a car accident when they pick me up late.
Now I'm a grown man and I still get this heavy feeling in my gut when neither of them pick up the phone after my third ring.
The Ultimate Humiliation
I'm terrified that I'll go to a threesome and the other two people will ignore me completely.
Into The Sky
Casadastrophia, its described as a fear of falling into the sky but the only time I notice is is if I'm in a big open area, next to a really tall building or I'm in a building with a tall ceiling usually stadiums.
Oh woot. That's a phobia. My scariest dreams are of this. Straight falling upwards and trying to stay in buildings to not fly off. I'm getting better at mastering it though. That's the trick!
There are dozens of us! Empty parking lots on a cloud-free day, man... It has to do with balance though. People who rely more on visual queues for balance, when we have no reference point to the ground we feel like we are tripping and hence "falling" up. So at least there is a weird logic behind it.
It's not as much a fear of the ocean or deep water as it is a fear of the creatures in it and the disadvantages that the environment places on a human being.
Think about it. You're deep down, visibility is low, you have no idea what's out there, but you know full well that whatever IS out there is a hell of a lot faster than you. It can attack you from any angle. Above, below, behind you. You can't watch everywhere and as soon as you try to surface for air there's no possible way you'd see something lunging at you.
I hate walking up those stairs that have gaps in them. Give me a solid staircase any day. Ever since I was a kid I always freaked out going up them worrying that I'd slip through.
My old school had stairs like this. The boys would stand under them and look up dresses/skirts, or they'd reach out and grab kids ankles.
It got to the point where we'd all wait for the teacher after lunch and walk up with them, or get in late. It went on for months.
I remember feeling so frustrated one day that I walked out of class, went straight to the principals office, and reported every single one of those little f*ckers. Naturally, it turned into a massive sh*tshow.
For a week every kid in class was called in for interviews, and I guess since the ball was rolling all other girls started naming who'd done what to whom as well. Parents were called in. Some appalled, some refusing to believe their kids were perving/had almost frigging killed kids by tripping them. There were 2 suspensions, and almost every boy in class got 3 months of detention.
I spent the rest of the year being hated by all boys in class but one (the only one who hadn't participated, and was often a target for grabbing). At the time it was awful but looking back probably one of the best things I ever did in school. Someone could have died. Dumbarses.
Anyway, I too have this fear but it's very rational.
Thank God For Online Pizza Ordering
Calling people on the phone.
I am not unreasonable, I don't mean that I literally never call anyone, so "phobia" is a bit of a strong word. What I mean though is the idea of calling someone or answering the phone for someone I'm not intimately familiar with gives me serious anxiety. If a friend or family member calls me or vice versa, no problemo. But if I have to call or answer for anyone else? I'm sweating bullets. Even at work, my boss finally had to be blunt with me and tell me directly to answer the phone if it rings because I was low-key pretending to miss calls even though I may be the only person in the office at the time.
Thank God for online pizza ordering.
Standing on the plughole in the shower, don't know why but it gives me the creeps. Like something is going to come up and stab me from inside?
I had a centipede crawl out of the drain while i was in the shower today. Nearly cried.
Really The Toilet
I developed, and thankfully eventually got over, the oddest toilet related fear. Every time I went to the loo, I was afraid that I was really elsewhere and doing my business in my pants, possibly in public.
For example, I would be peeing and have to assure myself with touch and sound and smell that indeed I was on the toilet. Not in bed sleeping and dreaming I was on the toilet. Not at work somehow asleep at my desk. Or anywhere else.
This lasted maybe two years and was quite frustrating and upsetting.
Crushed By The Sky
It's a little hard to describe, but wide open spaces. Specifically, outdoors. Like plane runways, meadows with no trees to act as borders. Really, any outdoor space, that when I look up into the sky, it feels like there's nothing stopping the literal sky from crushing me. Typing it out, it sounds ridiculous, and I know for a fact that that isn't ever going to happen. But I can still very vividly feel the panic and urgency of using my hands like blinders, staring down at the ground, as I quickly walk/ran to the nearest tree during our school field day.
The Ice Cream ManGiphy
This is SUPER weird but I have a phobia of the ice cream van. Whenever I hear the music it makes my stomach drop and I get a feeling of existential dread creeping over me. I've felt like this my whole life, my parents told me I used to get woken up from naps by our local ice cream van doing the rounds when I was like 2, crying that something was coming out of the sky to get me. These days I'm not quite as dramatic but any ice cream van music makes my skin crawl.
No idea why I feel like this, my theory is I must have been killed by an ice cream van in a previous life.
I am disgusted by and terrified of drinking other liquids than water. For me it's not just not liking it, but actually being afraid of touching this liquid in any way or accidentally consuming it.
If someone pours himself a glass of a fizzy drink next to e.g. a bread basket, I won't touch or eat that bread anymore because it's 'contaminated'. I just get really anxious when near other liquids. Like full on fear. Heart pounding, sweating and being hyper aware of where that liquid is and what might get in touch with it.
The first time we all have sex is such a nerve wracking experience.
Everybody wants to be good. No... GREAT!
That probability is highly unlikely though.
There is so much to learn and navigate when it comes to sex.
RedditorBobirrrwanted to talk about the birds and the bees and all the information that surprised us. They asked:
"What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?"
GuidesBaseball Fail GIFGiphy
"You gotta guide it much more than you think."
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
Stylemasturbation im horny GIFGiphy
"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
Noises OffGrocery Store Reaction GIF by TravisGiphy
"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.
America is in quite a state right now.
We are hurting in ways we've never hurt before.
And getting better doesn't seem like an option on the horizon.
America gets a lot wrong everyday.
But, maybe let's try to focus on what America does right.
Maybe it can be a little comfort in times of struggle.
People from all over the world want to live here.
Redditor Ulrich-Stern wanted to discuss the best of America. They asked:
"What does the United States get right?"
I think America certainly has a strong work ethic. We know how to work and win.
Getting AroundCivil Rights Equality GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy
"Accessibility code for buildings. I come from a country where disability is looked upon like a crime or fault. USA does an amazing job making things accessible. I haven’t seen all of USA but majority of the places has amazing system."
"Our public libraries are a real backbone for the country."
"Andrew Carnegie's groundwork in building the institution of free libraries, even in small towns, set a precedent that we wouldn't fathom today but couldn't live without. They often serve not only as an information exchange but as cultural hub, art gallery, performing arts center, tax aid, voter registration, job resources, etc. in communities."
"Plus they're one of the only places you can just exist for hours indoors without the expectation you must buy something.And I feel like they've adapted to the ever-changing needs of their patrons in modern times faster in the US than most places."
"'A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert.' -Andrew Carnegie"
'restore' or 'create'
"Valuing actual wilderness in places like national parks. Here in England, they will 'restore' or 'create' natural habitats, which is sort-of nice, but they are almost like zoos. They are too small to survive by themselves so they are actively maintained."
"And in some English national parks, they actually allow housing developments as long as the architectural design is sympathetic. Here, 'countryside"'means farms. There is still a notion in the USA of protecting some large wilderness areas from development."
"The rate of smoking cigarettes. We do very little well in the US when it comes to overall health, but we are light years better than most places when it comes to the prevalence of cigarette smoking. Hardcore anti smoking adds + laws of inconvenience + social stigma really did work."
HollywoodMovie Theater Reaction GIF by CBSGiphy
"Films. Don't get me wrong, the US can put out some bad films, but the best ones I've seen are usually American."
We do do films well. That is a big plus.
FamilyKids Playing GIF by moodmanGiphy
"The United States adopts more children than the rest of the world combined."
"Burgers. Motherfreakin' burgers."
"I'd expand that to sandwiches in general. Burgers, Philly cheese steaks, Reubens, subs, clubs, chopped cheese, po'boys, just this whole sandwich spectrum. Americans just took sandwich concepts from across the globe and ran with them."
"I've always envied your wildlife. I'm from England and the only large wild animals (other than fish) we have are deer, boar and foxes. And they're incredibly rare. I've always thought it was so cool one country could have bears, moose, cougars, alligators, panthers, bison/buffalo, etc."
"Gas stations like QuikTrip, where they have clean bathrooms, lighted parking lots, free air for your tires, ten different coffees on tap, beer, hotdogs, any soft drink or snack you want, the list goes on. In other countries -- you're not gonna believe this -- their gas stations only sell... gas."
POWERbill nye GIFGiphy
"The US is an absolute science powerhouse. The technology we come out with has touched the lives of nearly every person on the planet."
"I say this as an immigrant who came to this country, so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. But it truly gives people a second chance at life. My life would be nowhere near as good as it is right now if I were back in my home country."
Maybe America isn't the hot mess a lot of people think it is. We'll see...
Sex is an important part of life.
That is just a fact.
But sex is also about connection and intimacy.
So it's not a surprise when many relationships take a hit after the sex dries up.
It's not something to ignore.
It's the biggest problem in the world, but partners should discuss it.
RedditorItsyBitsyJoxywanted to hear about reasons to stick around with a partner when there is no sexy time. They asked:
"Would you be in a sexless relationship? What circumstance would you find acceptable for this?"
Sex is fun. And when the sex stopped in my relationships... so did the fun. But that is just me.
A Certain EraVery Funny Oops GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy
"I'm over 80."
"There’s a lot of people that are going to be real shocked once they hit their 70s."
"Our second child has ruined her sex drive. Intimacy is still there but extremely infrequently. I've learned how much that intimacy brings to the relationship, it feels very lonely and although I know it's not her fault, it can still make you feel like she's not attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty lonely too if you go from a romantic relationship to borderline platonic one. You can't help wonder how much is body changes and how much is you."
"I had rectal cancer and because of the surgery I can no longer get an erection, it's very lonely."
"Not sure if one exists, but a site to just make friends to be cuddle buddies, or whatever, should exist for people like you & me. I lost my sex drive & would like a relationship for that occasionally."
"In my case, it's not wanting to see someone very often, as well as the lack of sex drive, that I think would make it difficult. I also don't like people over to my home as it's too small for a couch & we'd be hanging out on my bed, which is weird to me."
"I'm in one now. My husband had a stroke... no sex is not the big problem for either one of us."
"This comment brings a lot of perspective. My gut reaction to this question was no. Sex was and still is pretty significant in my relationship with my wife. We’re in our 30’s and have been together over a decade. But if something happened to her and it was no longer an option? I would never leave her and love her too damned much to imagine it, no matter how much we love sex."
PainScarlett Johansson GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"I have a near sexless marriage. The love is strong, but the desire is one-sided. That hurts."
Sexless over loveless is definitely easier. So there is that.
Over time...up s GIFGiphy
"I am happily married to my good lady for decades and decades. There are times when it has been sexless for whatever reason but never has it been loveless.I wouldn’t have lasted 2 days in a loveless relationship."
You play the cards you are dealt
"I’m dating a man who got diagnosed with prostate cancer a year or so into our relationship. Prostate had to come out and it’s a hit or miss whether or not sexual function comes back. In his case, it was a miss. He wanted me to move on because he got very depressed over it."
"He’s so pleasant and a real decent human being so I stayed with him. Who would abandon someone due to a health crisis? Unfortunately he got bladder cancer next so this is another hurdle to go over. You play the cards you are dealt. We are together in this."
"The reasons for the 'sexlessness' and the depth of the relationship are key factors. My wife got breast cancer at 40 and while she lived another 8 years, the chemotherapy nullified her libido and made intercourse impossible. And yet I dearly wish we could have grown old together whether or not this would have changed. But that’s completely different from cohabiting a loveless marriage or even facing such a situation in one’s youth only a few years after marriage. That would be hard."
"A sexless relationship is better than a loveless relationship, as long as I'm loved and we share physical affection like cuddling and kisses and I'm allowed to beat my meat when I need too I wouldn't care. Just a heads up to all the people who take this personally enough to comment how wrong I am."
"There's no such thing as a wrong option, my opinion is in regards to myself and myself alone I'm not answering for anyone else. Different opinions aren't wrong... OP asked a question to be answered from your own point of view..so there's no reason to call anyone else wrong... it's about you, answer for YOU I've answered for me."
Love is there...Checking In I Love You GIF by Seize the AwkwardGiphy
"I'm in one. Not happy about it, but love is still there so that's nice."
"Same. Maybe had it once in the last 12 years. Finally decided to go to couples/sex therapy this year. Not sure it is helping, but at least I finally brought up that I wanted to try something. My wife is my best friend and I love here with every fiber, just wish there was more intimacy there."
it never happens...
"We haven't had sex in five months due to numerous reasons. Never have alone time with my mom and daughter here. We're both too tired. Our bed we have sex on is where my mom is sleeping. Our waterbed is difficult to use. We always say next weekend and it never happens. We're still going strong though. We love each other and that's what matters."
Well I guess some people can make it work. More power to you.
We all have things which get on our nerves.
Some people have a fairly high tolerance level, and are only truly perturbed by things which are beyond the bounds of common decency, or which are universally accepted as annoying or inconvenient.
Others are not so lucky, and tend to be set off by things which might go completely unnoticed by everyone else.
Redditor Onatic420 was curious to learn the things which instantly make others want to pull their hair out and scream, leading them to ask:
"What do you find annoying as f*ck?"
Is it so hard to pick up after yourself?
"Habitual litterers."- SuvenPan
"When people don’t clean up after themselves."- cheeto_has_spoken
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen
"People that can dish it but can’t take it."
"I work with a dude like this and it’s terrible."- MF_GhidraTea Time Reaction GIF by Kamie CrawfordGiphy
Never judge something by it's size.
"When skin tears near your fingernail and that teeny tiny wound hurts way more than it should."- BlackCaaaaat
"When mosquitoes fly by ur ears."- AxcesDrifter
Back to where we started...
"The Reddit app when it scrolls back up to the top of the 65 TRILLION FKN articles you’ve read."
"It should burn the articles as you read them."- Deathdar1577
Take some responsibility!
"A person's inability to say sorry."- rohankentsorry kristen wiig GIFGiphy
Get out of the way!
"People who leave the f*cking shopping carts in middle of the f*cking aisle!"- otherm0ther
But enough about me, what do you think of me?
"People who make it all about themselves."- ExtensionAir7Proud Drag Queen GIF by CameoGiphy
A lost cause
"Willfully ignorant people."- KingZaneTheStrange
Be it the way another person behaves or common, every day occurrences, we all have things which get on our nerves.
Most of the time it's best to grin and bear it.
But next time you see someone litter, it might be a fine opportunity to let that anger out.
For your sake, and everyone else's.