I hate clowns. Like a lot. I know a lot of people have a clown fear, but mine manifests more like an irrational anger towards clowns - thing is, I have a really good reason for it.
When I was younger, my mother decided to take me to a parade. She got a great spot up by the barricades and things were going great - until the clowns. I don't know what the hell this one clown was thinking, maybe they got caught up in the festivities or maybe they were a serial killer. Who knows.
What we do know is this clown reached over the barricade, took me out of my mothers arms, and just kept on marching. My mother (a whopping 5 feet tall) had to run after me, weaving through a Manhattan parade crowd, screaming that the clown had her baby.
Security wouldn't let her over the barricade, and the crowd wasn't exactly thrilled about being shoved aside. It took a while but eventually she managed to get me back and fire off some choice language to the clown in question.
Since then, clowns are like an instant no-thank you.
Reddit user @Sjuma19 asked:
Here are some of the best (worst?) responses.
Answer The Phone
That my parents are dead, especially when it takes them a while to answer the phone. It's the weirdest f*ing anxiety I have every time. I remember this anxiety as far back as when I was in grade school where my parents had to pick me up and I worry they are in a car accident when they pick me up late.
Now I'm a grown man and I still get this heavy feeling in my gut when neither of them pick up the phone after my third ring.
The Ultimate Humiliation
I'm terrified that I'll go to a threesome and the other two people will ignore me completely.
Into The Sky
Casadastrophia, its described as a fear of falling into the sky but the only time I notice is is if I'm in a big open area, next to a really tall building or I'm in a building with a tall ceiling usually stadiums.
Oh woot. That's a phobia. My scariest dreams are of this. Straight falling upwards and trying to stay in buildings to not fly off. I'm getting better at mastering it though. That's the trick!
There are dozens of us! Empty parking lots on a cloud-free day, man... It has to do with balance though. People who rely more on visual queues for balance, when we have no reference point to the ground we feel like we are tripping and hence "falling" up. So at least there is a weird logic behind it.
It's not as much a fear of the ocean or deep water as it is a fear of the creatures in it and the disadvantages that the environment places on a human being.
Think about it. You're deep down, visibility is low, you have no idea what's out there, but you know full well that whatever IS out there is a hell of a lot faster than you. It can attack you from any angle. Above, below, behind you. You can't watch everywhere and as soon as you try to surface for air there's no possible way you'd see something lunging at you.
I hate walking up those stairs that have gaps in them. Give me a solid staircase any day. Ever since I was a kid I always freaked out going up them worrying that I'd slip through.
My old school had stairs like this. The boys would stand under them and look up dresses/skirts, or they'd reach out and grab kids ankles.
It got to the point where we'd all wait for the teacher after lunch and walk up with them, or get in late. It went on for months.
I remember feeling so frustrated one day that I walked out of class, went straight to the principals office, and reported every single one of those little f*ckers. Naturally, it turned into a massive sh*tshow.
For a week every kid in class was called in for interviews, and I guess since the ball was rolling all other girls started naming who'd done what to whom as well. Parents were called in. Some appalled, some refusing to believe their kids were perving/had almost frigging killed kids by tripping them. There were 2 suspensions, and almost every boy in class got 3 months of detention.
I spent the rest of the year being hated by all boys in class but one (the only one who hadn't participated, and was often a target for grabbing). At the time it was awful but looking back probably one of the best things I ever did in school. Someone could have died. Dumbarses.
Anyway, I too have this fear but it's very rational.
Thank God For Online Pizza Ordering
Calling people on the phone.
I am not unreasonable, I don't mean that I literally never call anyone, so "phobia" is a bit of a strong word. What I mean though is the idea of calling someone or answering the phone for someone I'm not intimately familiar with gives me serious anxiety. If a friend or family member calls me or vice versa, no problemo. But if I have to call or answer for anyone else? I'm sweating bullets. Even at work, my boss finally had to be blunt with me and tell me directly to answer the phone if it rings because I was low-key pretending to miss calls even though I may be the only person in the office at the time.
Thank God for online pizza ordering.
Standing on the plughole in the shower, don't know why but it gives me the creeps. Like something is going to come up and stab me from inside?
I had a centipede crawl out of the drain while i was in the shower today. Nearly cried.
Really The Toilet
I developed, and thankfully eventually got over, the oddest toilet related fear. Every time I went to the loo, I was afraid that I was really elsewhere and doing my business in my pants, possibly in public.
For example, I would be peeing and have to assure myself with touch and sound and smell that indeed I was on the toilet. Not in bed sleeping and dreaming I was on the toilet. Not at work somehow asleep at my desk. Or anywhere else.
This lasted maybe two years and was quite frustrating and upsetting.
Crushed By The Sky
It's a little hard to describe, but wide open spaces. Specifically, outdoors. Like plane runways, meadows with no trees to act as borders. Really, any outdoor space, that when I look up into the sky, it feels like there's nothing stopping the literal sky from crushing me. Typing it out, it sounds ridiculous, and I know for a fact that that isn't ever going to happen. But I can still very vividly feel the panic and urgency of using my hands like blinders, staring down at the ground, as I quickly walk/ran to the nearest tree during our school field day.
The Ice Cream ManGiphy
This is SUPER weird but I have a phobia of the ice cream van. Whenever I hear the music it makes my stomach drop and I get a feeling of existential dread creeping over me. I've felt like this my whole life, my parents told me I used to get woken up from naps by our local ice cream van doing the rounds when I was like 2, crying that something was coming out of the sky to get me. These days I'm not quite as dramatic but any ice cream van music makes my skin crawl.
No idea why I feel like this, my theory is I must have been killed by an ice cream van in a previous life.
I am disgusted by and terrified of drinking other liquids than water. For me it's not just not liking it, but actually being afraid of touching this liquid in any way or accidentally consuming it.
If someone pours himself a glass of a fizzy drink next to e.g. a bread basket, I won't touch or eat that bread anymore because it's 'contaminated'. I just get really anxious when near other liquids. Like full on fear. Heart pounding, sweating and being hyper aware of where that liquid is and what might get in touch with it.
The US is represented in the majority of some of the biggest films recognized worldwide–from iconic movies like American Grafitti to The Color Purple, to recent critically-acclaimed films like Minari and Moonlight.
Even classic American sitcoms like Friends are known the world over as the ultimate example of American comedy.
But there are plenty of misconceptions about American culture seen in some of these entertainment offerings that foreign audiences seem to miss, and it's time to set the record straight.
For starters, an apartment in New York City is not at all spacious like the one that was inhabited by Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler. So there's that.
Curious to hear more examples of what our friends across the Atlantic could stand to learn, Redditor Jazzlike_Fondant_518 asked:
"Americans, what’s something Europeans need to hear?"
American Redditors had a thing or two to say about how we roll here in the States.
"Free, clean, omnipresent public restrooms are indeed possible."
Vouching For The Myth
"As a British person who now lives in the US I would say public toilets is something the US does really well. They are everywhere, accessible and usually very clean. Europe definitely needs to catch up on this."
Driving In Circles
"We have roundabouts here. They exist. Stop claiming we don't."
Preconceived notions can be bye-bye.
Nothing Cool About This
"The flavor of America is not cool ranch."
Maintaining Best Indoor Air Quality
"Invest in hvac and soon cause it won't get cheaper or cooler."
"A large portion of Americans are rational and moderate people, and what you see on the television isn't indicative of every American you meet."
"America isn't the only country with racial issues."
Europeans, take note.
"It’s past time you take James Corden back."
It's A Big Problem
"Europe is getting fat too."
Kernel Of Truth
"Putting corn on pizza doesn't make it 'American pizza'. It just makes it disgusting."
"A good looking guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie."
Despite everything in the news happening in the States creating division and leaving people feeling dejected, a good majority of US citizens are not jerks.
There are loads of kind, considerate, empathetic, and well-behaved people living here.
Europeans often don't get to hear this since much of the media focuses on iniquitous behavior.
Humanity is still intact here.
At least that's what I still believe.
I admit, and this might as well be heresy to lots of people, that I just don't like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I know ya'll love it, but there's very little about it that I feel accurately captures the feeling of magic and whimsy that I experienced while I read Road Dahl's stellar book.
Before you get on my case, I'll emphatically deny liking Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... because it's also terrible.
You just can't please some people (namely me), right?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Dame87 asked the online community,
"What is a film that gets a huge amount of praise but you think is awful?"
Paranormal Activity (2007)
"Paranormal Activity. I've seen scarier crap in a public toilet."
When it came out it was pretty freaky and I still wasn't in love with it. It's the definition of average.
The Notebook (2004)
"The Notebook. Both leads are so unlikeable and horrible to each other it's not even enjoyable in a 'so bad it's good' way."
"Especially when she actually breaks up with him, gets in a stable relationship with another guy who's not awful...and then ditches that guy to get back with the main love interest because respectful relationships are sooo boring, everyone real love requires being unable to be in the same room without coming to literal screaming matches."
Honestly, aside from some very good acting, the script of this film is pretty terrible.
But it's Nicholas Sparks, we're talking about.
The Blind Side (2009)
"The Blind Side. They turned an interesting real life story into Hollywood crap."
Even the film's subject dislikes it.
Sandra Bullock beating her competition for THAT? She was much better in Gravity.
"Frozen. I hate it too much, but I can’t help it. People kept saying how it was the best Disney movie ever and it wasn’t even top ten."
Disney really did this film a disservice by shoving it down everyone's throats for much of the last decade.
Les Miserables (2012)
"I know Les Misérables was super acclaimed and all that, but it was really nothing like the book. It made me sad."
It wasn't meant to be an adaptation of the book, it was meant to be an adaptation of the musical (which a lot of people don't like because it condenses many of the elements from the book).
That said, I can't stand this film either. It's horribly directed.
"Crash won Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing awards. Received six Academy Award nominations. I thought it sucked."
You mean the film in which Sandra Bullock is cured of her racism after she falls down the stairs?
"Grease. I HATED it. I can appreciate the choreography, but the storyline is awful, cheesy (not to mention misogynistic, which at my first viewing I didn’t know what that was). Couldn’t stand Stockard Channing’s character. Really bad acting too."
It's just a bit too hokey for my taste – it makes it difficult to enjoy.
I did see a stage production years ago that was a lot more fun.
Black Panther (2018)
"It has a nice looking setting, and it was good to see a movie featuring a majority black cast with a positive/comic book storyline rather than the stereotypical urban/hang setting. So to that end it read a good movie."
"At the same time, it was also just yet another unmemorable marvel movie - I know I have seen it, but I have no memory of what actually happened in it. Remove the political/seeing element of it and it gets completely lost in the crowd."
Considering that Marvel films do absolutely nothing for me, I was not surprised by Black Panther or the fact that it was more of the same.
Meet the Parents (2000)
"Meet the Parents. It’s just two hours of being vicariously stressed out and embarrassed for Ben Stiller."
Something tells me this movie likely has not aged well. It would not surprise me at all if this turned out to be the case.
"Avatar. It's just Pocahontas in space, God dammit."
I prefer Dances with Wolves in space myself.
I rewatched this earlier during lockdown and dropped my DVD off at a local community center afterward. And who the hell asked for three more sequels?
We all have our tastes, sorry to disappoint. Besides, we're certain that you have a film or two you dislike in your arsenal.
Have thoughts about other films that are not included here? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Even though many of us have interesting events in our lives to share at a get-together, there is always someone who can top your story with a life event that can be a little too zany to be believed.
"What’s your wildest story that sounds too far-fetched to be true?"
Redditors' interactions with animals were either empowering or terrifying.
A Chihuahua's Hero
"Mine is when I was in high school I lived out in the countryside of Central Texas. I was just kind of bumbling around on the property and my mom's little chihuahua was tagging along. I heard a bird, saw a fast moving shadow, and threw my arm out, slapping a hawk out of the sky as it tried to get my mom's chihuahua."
"Cut my arm pretty good, but saved that little rat of a dog. The chihuahua went on to pass away at a smooth 19 years old."
Brush With An Owl
"I worked nights in college. I'd always take my two dogs out to pee when I got home and one late night an owl tried to snatch my Chihuahua but thankfully missed. My golden retriever ran back inside like the owl was going to somehow take his 60lb a** but my chi stood his ground like he could take it on. I got him inside and was much more careful after that. He, too, passed at 19. I miss him."
"I was almost drowned by a pod of dolphins while surfing at Salt Creek, Orange County, CA. I got up on a wave and one of them knocked me over, 2 wave pin down on a 5-7 ft day."
These could be plot points in a movie.
"I was surfing in Santa Barbara County when I was a kid, maybe 14 or 15. When I would come in from a surf, I had the habit of undoing my leash from my leg while I was walking in the shallow water. Unbeknownst to me, the other side of the leash that connects to the board had come off. I lost my leash. I searched around the tidal zone but no luck. I was bummed but I just moved on."
"Three weeks later, I was surfing in Ventura county, and as I was walking in from the surf, a piece of kelp wrapped around my leg. I reached down to pull it off. It wasn’t kelp, it was my leash I’d lost a dozen miles north a few weeks back. It had algae and stuff growing on it, but no mistaking it was absolutely my leash."
The Origin Of Love
"When my dad and step-mom met, my dad swore he’d met her before, but couldn’t remember when or where. Eventually, he decided he’d seen her in Cody, Wyoming, the town where he grew up. She swore she’d never even been to Wyoming (she’s from Oregon and that’s where they met)."
"Several years later, after they’d been married a while, step-mom mentions to her mom that my dad swears he met her in Cody, but she’s never been there. Her mom says 'Yes, you have,' and pulls out a photograph from 1956 of her, age 9, riding on a mechanical horse (a kid one) and in the background, standing around in the crowd, is my dad and his two brothers, ages 8, 10, and 11."
"She submitted the story to a local magazine for a Valentine’s Day contest one year and won a trip to a resort."
"Some honorable mentions: By the time I was 20, I was 1 degree of separation away from 5 different people who’d been murdered by 3 different serial killers (gotta love the PNW), and I almost hit Bob Dylan with my car once."
"First time I ever smoked pot a police helicopter hovered above me and my friend and hit us with the spotlight. They were looking for someone else apparently because they immediately moved on. Nonetheless…"
"I took my VW to the dealer to get some work done. The service rep at the counter was so hung over (possibly still intoxicated) that he couldn’t handle completing the paper work. He told the tech that I was a VIP, specifically 'Britni Spears’s brother' and that he owed me a favor, so the work was on the house and they just never did any paperwork, didn’t charge me a dime, did the work, handed me the keys, and away I drove."
These Redditors couldn't believe their luck.
"I won a two week cruise vacation for two in a contest."
"I never entered the contest."
"I was convinced I was being scammed."
"Even from the beaches of the Caribbean, I still wasn't convinced."
The Generous Friend
"Was in Vegas for a work thing. I was not happy about being there because it was a tough time in my life, money was really tight and Vegas is the last place you want to be when money is tight."
"I was telling my buddy about it and he says, 'Im going to pay pal you $150. Go play the poker tournament at the Venetian at night. You can drink for free and hopefully you last long. If you win anything, pay me back, if not, no worries.'"
"So I did. Won the tournament! $3200."
"The second night, I went off to play some craps alone one night because I did not like the work people and did not want to hang with them."
"Started with $200. 45 minuted later I 7’d out and had $37,000. Cashed out and told no one!"
"On the drive back (I lived in Phoenix) I called my buddy and told him (only) about it. I sent him $2500."
"The one time I went to Vegas at the proper age of 21, I won $2000 on my first spin on the 25c slot machine. I didn't gamble the rest of the time and enjoyed the fact that my trip paid for itself. Came home with all the money I left with and an extra $800. Didn't tell my bf I was with at the time either; he would have tried to spend my money."
Given A Second Chance
"I went jogging one night and came across a lady laid out face first. No heart beat. Started doing cpr. Never saw another person was able to call 911 while doing cpr. Kept at it twenty Minutes till FD got there. She made a full recovery. They said cpr that long has a 95% fail rate."
A friend back in high school told me he was a vampire when he dropped me off from band practice.
This was at a time when Anne Rice was super popular and everyone was reading the Lestat books.
Being an impressionable 15-year-old at the time, I believed him, because he warned me that if I ever revealed his identity to anyone, "I will find you."
A couple of years ago, I reunited with a mutual friend and I joked about how I believed so-and-so was a creature of the night. We nervously laughed.
Whether my blood-thirsty friend was weighing on my conscience or not, I've been visited by him in COUNTLESS dreams ever since I told my friend about him.
Call it what you want–paranoia or self-fulfilling prophecy–but there are some things in this realm I will never be able to explain.
I'm just glad I'm still here to talk about it now that I let the proverbial cat out of the bag.
When you're younger, you might think you come from a great family. But as a kid, you miss out on a lot of nuance. You do not see all the drama the adults around you are involved in. And when you do eventually notice it, you start to realize that maybe few—if any—of your family members actually like each other. So why put up with all those tense family holiday dinners?
This isn't to say that all families are like this. Absolutely not. There are some very happy and wonderful families out there. But seeing families hurt each other is enough to teach you that maybe that age old tradition of getting together for Christmas dinner might not be in everyone's best interest.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor captrober157 asked the online community,
"What family tradition ends with you?"
"Being an alcoholic."
"Being an alcoholic. My dad is an alcoholic. Both my grandfathers were alcoholics, which is what killed them. One of my grandmothers used to be an alcoholic and the other one still is. I could go on and on."
Be strong and bold man, don't let the family pressure get to you!
"200 years of living in London and my kids will never be able to afford to rent or buy here."
200 years of living anywhere, it seems. It's insane.
"My dad interrupting dinner..."
"My dad interrupting dinner, so we can CALL LONG DISTANCE to relatives who couldn’t travel to the event. Then we’d have to pass the phone around the table for brief, superficial greetings as our food went cold. Yikes."
Ummm... what? No, thank you. There's no way!
"Expecting the oldest child..."
"Expecting the oldest child to parent the younger one and getting pissed off when the oldest ends up acting like a parent. My younger brother is eight years younger than me. I stopped being a kid by the age of 8.5."
Very frustrating and sadly the case for many families out there, especially those of more limited means.
"Expecting my son..."
"Expecting my son to join the military. Almost every male family member on my father's side have fought in every conflict since WW1. I did two tours in Afghanistan and I never want him to experience anything like that."
War is traumatic and ideally, no one should ever have to experience it.
"Being hush hush..."
"Being hush hush about mental health related topics and untrusting of medicine in general."
It's great to see the younger generation be so open about mental health and fighting the stigma!
"Telling the boys..."
"Telling the boys to not cry. To push it down. Going to let my kid cry and talk about his feelings as much as he damn well pleases."
This is so important — young boys need to grow up knowing that their feelings are valid.
"Arranged marriage. Should have ended that tradition myself but was too much of a coward."
The best time was for yourself. The second best will be for your kids.
"Massive extended family gatherings. Not practical. Besides, grandma kicked the bucket 10 years ago."
Often, families splinter once a matriarch or patriarch dies and people realize that they were the glue keeping everyone together.
"I'm the first..."
"Living below the poverty line. I'm the first member of my family to be middle class."
Fantastic! Break the cycle!
It takes a lot of courage to break from your family, especially if they've always done things a certain way. A lot of respect to people who decide to and are able to create new lives for themselves!
What does breaking the cycle mean to you? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!