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People Divulge The One Secret They've Always Wanted To Share But Couldn't

People Divulge The One Secret They've Always Wanted To Share But Couldn't

Secrets can be good with intentions of keeping others from experiencing the pain of knowing. Sometimes they can be more devious or damaging nature. This writer certainly doesn't like being kept in the dark.

A big part of secret-keeping though is knowing that often, it's something just plain embarrassing or super private. Like the time that boy from school wet the bed during a sleepover and blamed the poor dog instead…Chad will probably take that to his grave…well he would have if we hadn't said anything.

What's a juicy secret we have but could never tell anyone? Well, our lips are sealed. However, the people of Reddit were asked and responded with just about the juiciest thread ever. Grab your popcorn and join us while they lay it all out.

Redditor ive_never_been_loved wanted to hear all the juicy dirt from the Reddit community.

They asked:

"What is a secret that you will never tell anyone?"

There were some scandals avoided with these secrets.

Childhood embarrassment…

“2 days in a row when I was in the second grade I pissed my pants, because the teacher had this policy where she wouldn't let any student go to the bathroom even during free time in class. The third time I spent a solid 10 minutes begging her before she finally said fine, I pissed my pants on the way to the bathroom."

“My family only knows of the one time but I had to deal with that humiliation two times before and it was within the first week at school. After that I had a water bottle that I pissed in during her class for the remainder of the year."

“I don't know what she was expecting if somebody who just moved in with zero friends would be doing in the bathroom. But honestly if I would have the opportunity to go back in time I would rather tell my own self to piss on her desk because that would have been less humiliating than pissing my pants 3 days in a row." Sea_Ear_6224

my dad had affair with his wife…”

I cant remember how old I was. It was dial-up internet era. I'm now 29. But we received a phone call. I'm not sure if I was home alone or why I answered it. But a man called and explained to me that my dad had affair with his wife. I hung up and never told anyone except my therapist like a year ago. It has not bothered me much tbh, but it was a weird experience lol"Juof

that day is now the benchmark…”

“I used to work in a shopping centre. One time as I was walking in to the building I sneezed and totally pooped myself, I was about 10 steps away from the shop so I had to think fast. I took a hard left turn and walked direct in to a department store. I only had $5 on me so I beelined for the underpants section and got the cheapest pair I could find."

“I then had to go to the centre toilets and sort everything out, it was a real mess. I text my boss and told them I was stuck in traffic but in reality I was 100 metres away trying to salvage any shred of dignity I could for the next 20 minutes. I'm happy to say the mission was a success and that day is now the benchmark by which all other days are measured. Every day since has been infinitely better." Jlandyj

A spite fueled good deed…

My mom left me to be homeless while still in high school to move out of state with an abusive (to me) new husband. When I finally got back in touch with them three years later, they gifted me one of his prized possessions, a car. It was kind of an olive branch?”

“Problem was as a barely 20 year old with a minimum wage job living in DC, I couldn't afford to plate it, inspect it, insurance gas or taxes on it- nothing. Still full of hatred for this man and therefore somewhat out of spite.. I sold it to a coworker friend whose big family desperately needed it for probably 10% of what it was worth.”

“Told my step dad and mother that I got in an accident and it cost $400 to tow and my insurance only covered blah blah… it's been 11 years.” leaky_orifice

They didn’t know they were keeping it in the family…

“Throwaway because there's no chance of me ever saying this in person. As a kid I grew up in a small country community of 3000 people, where I went to school etc. I had a crush on a girl who was 2 years older than me all the way through high school, and when I was 16 I found out she was my half-sister as my dad had cheated on my mum."

“This only came out when she turned 18 and found out who her dad was, prior to that no one knew and my dad and her mum had kept it a secret for 18 years. Completely f**ked with me for quite a while that I'd had a crush on my half sister for a number of years." letsplaysquash

It’s kinda funny though.

“When I was 9, my dad and I were reading Reader's Digest and found a magazine subscription card for a free case of Depends adult diapers, so we wrote my uncle's name and address down and put it in the mailbox.”

“He got it a couple weeks later and called everyone in the family to find out who it was. We knew my uncle was fuming, so we kept it to ourselves. To this day, everyone suspects that it was my other uncle.” 1BoiledCabbage

Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

I still side eye when I see him…”

“My first job in highschool, I had been there for a couple years, some new kid came in and told a bunch of lies to the owner about stuff I had ‘done at work’. I wasn't questioned just let go immediately.”

“On the kids next shift my best friend and I went and placed large nails up against all of his tires so when he drove forward they would go right into his tires. I hear he had to replace all four. That was 20 years ago and I still side eye when I see him around town.” Que_sax23

Dad was having a romp around…

“My dad was single and a couple of my friends moms was always bringing us food. My dad would say they were just being nice cause he was a single guy raising 3 kids by himself. My aunt picked me up from school sick and we head home.”

“She must have known what was up and had me wait in the car. Both of my friends moms came out half dressed and sh*t with my aunt yelling at my dad. I never did tell out of fear. One mom was divorced but one wasn't and I was afraid of tearing their family apart. Will take it to my grave.Unusual_Ear2764

I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else."

About 20 years ago I worked for a big publisher. They were upgrading all their tech and just dumping it in a skip. I asked a security guy if I could take some stuff from the skip and he said to help myself as it was all going to get crushed anyway.”

During a night shift I filled up my car with of beige G3/Quadra Apple Macs, keyboards, mice and some 19" Formac screens. Some of the macs had Quark Express and Photoshop on them.”

“I cleaned them up and sold the lot. I made enough to buy a G4 Quicksilver of my own which I still have today. I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else.” Sean_696

Santa isn’t real?

One Christmas I was 9 years old and knew that Santa wasn't real but for my 7 year old brother the fantasy was very much alive and good. We shared a room and my brother woke up on Christmas morning and looked confused that Santa had not eaten the Kit Kat that had been left out.”

“He went quiet and I could see that he was working the facts through in his head, when he wasn't looking I ate the Kit Kat and showed him the wrapper and claimed he imagined seeing the wrapper unopened.”

“This was 26 years ago and I have not told him in case he works out Santa is not real.” 10pencefredo

Didn’t we all do this at least once?

​“The only person I won't ever share this with is my mother. Not that it's that bad. I surgically unwrapped a Christmas present, played with it, then rewrapped before my mom got home. It was an N64. Was glorious.” leg00b

He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up."

My stepdad is muslim and one day when i was working at McDonald's (18 at the time), i would take home two free burgers. Both were double quarter pounders with bacon. We don't carry any pork products in the house so if i have the craving for pork, it would have to be from outside.”

“Anyways, i was going to eat my burgers in the living room and my stepdad got home and just immediately grabs one of my burgers and takes two massive bites (this is how he plays around). I wanted to warn him but grabbed the burger and bit into it too fast. He noticed a foreign taste aside from beef. He asked me what's in the burger, and i told him. He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up.” Greywolf2117

Life lesson: “Bury your sh*t while camping."

Went camping once with my family, somewhere way off the grid in Colorado. I've always had bowel issues (excessive diarrhea) and had become somewhat backed up from the long car ride. We had a shovel to use when we needed to go number 2, since it needed to be buried to not attract any animals, but I had wandered off and felt the sudden urge to go RIGHT NOW.”

“I dug a shallow pit with my hands, and proceeded to take the biggest, smelliest sh*t imaginable. I think I used nearby leaves to wipe, and covered the pit as best I could with pinecones. Next day, the dogs (2 Chow Chows) were off leash roaming around, and our older one, Sampson, came back absolutely COVERED in sh*t.”

Must have rolled around in it for awhile. Took forever for my dad to get the smell washed off in the freezing cold lake. I was way too embarrassed at the time (plus slightly intimidated by my well-to-do grandparents) to say it was probably my crap he rolled in. Took years before I finally came clean to my family, but luckily it was a laughable moment from my childhood. Bury your sh*t while camping.”jesiweeks3348

A hard place to be in…

That I'm actually not happy being in medical college, none of the medical specializations really interest me at all (I'm on the 3rd year) and I often can't sleep at night thinking that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.”

“I press on however because I don't really see an alternative for myself as I always, even from the young age, kinda assumed I'll be a doctor. There's also the fact that I don't want all the work I've put in actually getting here go to waste.”

“Bonus points for not wanting to disappoint my parents (both of them doctors), especially since my older brother dropped out of college recently after 7 very rocky years with nothing to show for it.”PrXawier

It cost a woman her job…

“My mother likes shiny and sparkly things. When I was a kid, she had one of those glass balls filled with liquid with real gold flakes floating around. As a little girl who also likes shiny and sparkly things, I liked to shake it and see the gold swirling.”

“One day, I was playing with it, tossing it from one hand to the other, and it dropped onto the glass and metal TV stand and shattered. I panicked and cleaned it up. My mother thought one of the cleaning ladies that had come by stole it and fired her. I've never fessed up and she has since bought a new ball.” Realta_Sagartach

Not the father!

“My cousin thinks her father, who died last year, was her dad…But Only a few of us know her real father was a podiatrist with whom my aunt had an affair. She lied and passed off her pregnancy as her husband's kid, but nope. We've been told never to say anything, and because my cousin is literally the best person ever, I'm honor-bound now.” ​milky8888

I noped out."

“Obviously not saying who. But I was friends with a couple. I was friends with the guy longer than the girl. We would go to the private practice rooms in the **** **** and we would play violin and piano. Although they kissed and whatever in the corner. I was there for the piano and we were friends so they tagged along.”

“They would start getting it on while I played the piano. I didn't realize but sometimes I did and kept playing the piano like I noticed nothing. Although we did talk and mess around.”

“Turns out they were both sexually attracted to me. After they broke up they later told me how they felt. And the girl told me her fantasies involving me and along the way she got into some psychic stuff. I noped out.” Careless-Piano-2421

“Really late to the party. This will probably get buried, but for those of you sorting by new, this is mine. When I was in high school, my family went on a trip somewhere without me for the weekend. I was left home alone, with the complete trust that I would be responsible and not do anything improper."

“I was a good kid, but I was also in high school. Obviously I invited friends over to drink beer and smoke sisha. In his drunken stupor, while lighting a coal, my friend dropped it. On the hardwood floor. It left a quarter-sized burnt hole in the kitchen."

“If my parents would have found out, they would have been PISSED. No question that there would have been serious ramifications. Nobody brought it up the first week after they came back. I was super stressed. Nobody brought it up the second week after they came back I decided this is not enough, I need to proactively cover my tracks."

“One day while my mom was making dinner, I came over. I pointed at the hole, let out a surprised gasp, and asked her why there was a burn mark on our floor. She said that she thinks she must had dropped something hot on the floor while cooking. I was golden, the hole never came up again" Nacho_buddy

“My secret is that the year after, when I was 15 I was dating a guy that I actually didnt like cause i was new in town and felt alone. One day another dude who was interested in me cornered me. I knew he would try to kiss me, but I was bored with my life and wanted some drama so I played dumb. After he kissed me I pushed him away and ran to tell my boyfriend. I was truly a mess back then.“ winixon

These users must be glad to get these off their chest behind the safety of a screen name. We just got all the family secrets in this one.

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The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know

Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'

Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

Keep reading...Show less

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence

We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.

But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.

Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:

"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"

Time for an Upgrade

"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."

- TheRealLifePotato

"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."

- inactiveuser247

"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."

- MikoSkyns

No More Spark

"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."

"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."

"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."

- elteragxo

"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"

"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"

- Aimlessdrifter8778

Misery Loves Company

"Now we are both broken."

- Brave-Butterscotch76

"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."

- Moreofyoulessofme

Getting to Watch a Partner Grow

"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."

"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."

"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."

"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."

"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."

"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."

- Spiritual-Narwhal666

Not a Match

"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."

"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."

- MrWeb20

In Their Nature

"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."

"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."

- mobileJay77

The Importance of Boundaries

"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."

"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."

- TylerTexas10

Happily Ever After

"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."

- DonPronote

An Uncommon Ending

"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."

"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."

- I_Invented_Frysauce

A Little Help from Our Friends

"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."

"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."

- addrien

All Their Idea

"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."

- BuhrZap

A Helping Hand

"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."

"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."

"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."

- brooksie1131

Lesson Learned

"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."

"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."

"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."

- GlobalPermit5428

Best Friends Forever

"It went well but it didn’t work out."

"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."

"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."

"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."


So Worth the Investment

"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."

"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."

"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."

"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."

"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."

- BabyElephantWalks

In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.

There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154


– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.