Secrets can be good with intentions of keeping others from experiencing the pain of knowing. Sometimes they can be more devious or damaging nature. This writer certainly doesn't like being kept in the dark.
A big part of secret-keeping though is knowing that often, it's something just plain embarrassing or super private. Like the time that boy from school wet the bed during a sleepover and blamed the poor dog instead…Chad will probably take that to his grave…well he would have if we hadn't said anything.
What's a juicy secret we have but could never tell anyone? Well, our lips are sealed. However, the people of Reddit were asked and responded with just about the juiciest thread ever. Grab your popcorn and join us while they lay it all out.
Redditor ive_never_been_loved wanted to hear all the juicy dirt from the Reddit community.
"What is a secret that you will never tell anyone?"
There were some scandals avoided with these secrets.
“2 days in a row when I was in the second grade I pissed my pants, because the teacher had this policy where she wouldn't let any student go to the bathroom even during free time in class. The third time I spent a solid 10 minutes begging her before she finally said fine, I pissed my pants on the way to the bathroom."
“My family only knows of the one time but I had to deal with that humiliation two times before and it was within the first week at school. After that I had a water bottle that I pissed in during her class for the remainder of the year."
“I don't know what she was expecting if somebody who just moved in with zero friends would be doing in the bathroom. But honestly if I would have the opportunity to go back in time I would rather tell my own self to piss on her desk because that would have been less humiliating than pissing my pants 3 days in a row." Sea_Ear_6224
“my dad had affair with his wife…”
“I cant remember how old I was. It was dial-up internet era. I'm now 29. But we received a phone call. I'm not sure if I was home alone or why I answered it. But a man called and explained to me that my dad had affair with his wife. I hung up and never told anyone except my therapist like a year ago. It has not bothered me much tbh, but it was a weird experience lol"Juof
“that day is now the benchmark…”
“I used to work in a shopping centre. One time as I was walking in to the building I sneezed and totally pooped myself, I was about 10 steps away from the shop so I had to think fast. I took a hard left turn and walked direct in to a department store. I only had $5 on me so I beelined for the underpants section and got the cheapest pair I could find."
“I then had to go to the centre toilets and sort everything out, it was a real mess. I text my boss and told them I was stuck in traffic but in reality I was 100 metres away trying to salvage any shred of dignity I could for the next 20 minutes. I'm happy to say the mission was a success and that day is now the benchmark by which all other days are measured. Every day since has been infinitely better." Jlandyj
A spite fueled good deed…
“My mom left me to be homeless while still in high school to move out of state with an abusive (to me) new husband. When I finally got back in touch with them three years later, they gifted me one of his prized possessions, a car. It was kind of an olive branch?”
“Problem was as a barely 20 year old with a minimum wage job living in DC, I couldn't afford to plate it, inspect it, insurance gas or taxes on it- nothing. Still full of hatred for this man and therefore somewhat out of spite.. I sold it to a coworker friend whose big family desperately needed it for probably 10% of what it was worth.”
“Told my step dad and mother that I got in an accident and it cost $400 to tow and my insurance only covered blah blah… it's been 11 years.” leaky_orifice
They didn’t know they were keeping it in the family…
“Throwaway because there's no chance of me ever saying this in person. As a kid I grew up in a small country community of 3000 people, where I went to school etc. I had a crush on a girl who was 2 years older than me all the way through high school, and when I was 16 I found out she was my half-sister as my dad had cheated on my mum."
“This only came out when she turned 18 and found out who her dad was, prior to that no one knew and my dad and her mum had kept it a secret for 18 years. Completely f**ked with me for quite a while that I'd had a crush on my half sister for a number of years." letsplaysquash
It’s kinda funny though.
“When I was 9, my dad and I were reading Reader's Digest and found a magazine subscription card for a free case of Depends adult diapers, so we wrote my uncle's name and address down and put it in the mailbox.”
“He got it a couple weeks later and called everyone in the family to find out who it was. We knew my uncle was fuming, so we kept it to ourselves. To this day, everyone suspects that it was my other uncle.” 1BoiledCabbage
Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“I still side eye when I see him…”
“My first job in highschool, I had been there for a couple years, some new kid came in and told a bunch of lies to the owner about stuff I had ‘done at work’. I wasn't questioned just let go immediately.”
“On the kids next shift my best friend and I went and placed large nails up against all of his tires so when he drove forward they would go right into his tires. I hear he had to replace all four. That was 20 years ago and I still side eye when I see him around town.” Que_sax23
Dad was having a romp around…
“My dad was single and a couple of my friends moms was always bringing us food. My dad would say they were just being nice cause he was a single guy raising 3 kids by himself. My aunt picked me up from school sick and we head home.”
“She must have known what was up and had me wait in the car. Both of my friends moms came out half dressed and sh*t with my aunt yelling at my dad. I never did tell out of fear. One mom was divorced but one wasn't and I was afraid of tearing their family apart. Will take it to my grave.” Unusual_Ear2764
“I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else."
“About 20 years ago I worked for a big publisher. They were upgrading all their tech and just dumping it in a skip. I asked a security guy if I could take some stuff from the skip and he said to help myself as it was all going to get crushed anyway.”
“During a night shift I filled up my car with of beige G3/Quadra Apple Macs, keyboards, mice and some 19" Formac screens. Some of the macs had Quark Express and Photoshop on them.”
“I cleaned them up and sold the lot. I made enough to buy a G4 Quicksilver of my own which I still have today. I didn't tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else.” Sean_696
Santa isn’t real?
“One Christmas I was 9 years old and knew that Santa wasn't real but for my 7 year old brother the fantasy was very much alive and good. We shared a room and my brother woke up on Christmas morning and looked confused that Santa had not eaten the Kit Kat that had been left out.”
“He went quiet and I could see that he was working the facts through in his head, when he wasn't looking I ate the Kit Kat and showed him the wrapper and claimed he imagined seeing the wrapper unopened.”
“This was 26 years ago and I have not told him in case he works out Santa is not real.” 10pencefredo
Didn’t we all do this at least once?
“The only person I won't ever share this with is my mother. Not that it's that bad. I surgically unwrapped a Christmas present, played with it, then rewrapped before my mom got home. It was an N64. Was glorious.” leg00b
“He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up."
“My stepdad is muslim and one day when i was working at McDonald's (18 at the time), i would take home two free burgers. Both were double quarter pounders with bacon. We don't carry any pork products in the house so if i have the craving for pork, it would have to be from outside.”
“Anyways, i was going to eat my burgers in the living room and my stepdad got home and just immediately grabs one of my burgers and takes two massive bites (this is how he plays around). I wanted to warn him but grabbed the burger and bit into it too fast. He noticed a foreign taste aside from beef. He asked me what's in the burger, and i told him. He ran to his bedroom to make himself throw up.” Greywolf2117
Life lesson: “Bury your sh*t while camping."
“Went camping once with my family, somewhere way off the grid in Colorado. I've always had bowel issues (excessive diarrhea) and had become somewhat backed up from the long car ride. We had a shovel to use when we needed to go number 2, since it needed to be buried to not attract any animals, but I had wandered off and felt the sudden urge to go RIGHT NOW.”
“I dug a shallow pit with my hands, and proceeded to take the biggest, smelliest sh*t imaginable. I think I used nearby leaves to wipe, and covered the pit as best I could with pinecones. Next day, the dogs (2 Chow Chows) were off leash roaming around, and our older one, Sampson, came back absolutely COVERED in sh*t.”
“Must have rolled around in it for awhile. Took forever for my dad to get the smell washed off in the freezing cold lake. I was way too embarrassed at the time (plus slightly intimidated by my well-to-do grandparents) to say it was probably my crap he rolled in. Took years before I finally came clean to my family, but luckily it was a laughable moment from my childhood. Bury your sh*t while camping.”jesiweeks3348
A hard place to be in…
“That I'm actually not happy being in medical college, none of the medical specializations really interest me at all (I'm on the 3rd year) and I often can't sleep at night thinking that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.”
“I press on however because I don't really see an alternative for myself as I always, even from the young age, kinda assumed I'll be a doctor. There's also the fact that I don't want all the work I've put in actually getting here go to waste.”
“Bonus points for not wanting to disappoint my parents (both of them doctors), especially since my older brother dropped out of college recently after 7 very rocky years with nothing to show for it.” PrXawier
It cost a woman her job…
“My mother likes shiny and sparkly things. When I was a kid, she had one of those glass balls filled with liquid with real gold flakes floating around. As a little girl who also likes shiny and sparkly things, I liked to shake it and see the gold swirling.”
“One day, I was playing with it, tossing it from one hand to the other, and it dropped onto the glass and metal TV stand and shattered. I panicked and cleaned it up. My mother thought one of the cleaning ladies that had come by stole it and fired her. I've never fessed up and she has since bought a new ball.” Realta_Sagartach
Not the father!
“My cousin thinks her father, who died last year, was her dad…But Only a few of us know her real father was a podiatrist with whom my aunt had an affair. She lied and passed off her pregnancy as her husband's kid, but nope. We've been told never to say anything, and because my cousin is literally the best person ever, I'm honor-bound now.” milky8888
“I noped out."
“Obviously not saying who. But I was friends with a couple. I was friends with the guy longer than the girl. We would go to the private practice rooms in the **** **** and we would play violin and piano. Although they kissed and whatever in the corner. I was there for the piano and we were friends so they tagged along.”
“They would start getting it on while I played the piano. I didn't realize but sometimes I did and kept playing the piano like I noticed nothing. Although we did talk and mess around.”
“Turns out they were both sexually attracted to me. After they broke up they later told me how they felt. And the girl told me her fantasies involving me and along the way she got into some psychic stuff. I noped out.” Careless-Piano-2421
“Really late to the party. This will probably get buried, but for those of you sorting by new, this is mine. When I was in high school, my family went on a trip somewhere without me for the weekend. I was left home alone, with the complete trust that I would be responsible and not do anything improper."
“I was a good kid, but I was also in high school. Obviously I invited friends over to drink beer and smoke sisha. In his drunken stupor, while lighting a coal, my friend dropped it. On the hardwood floor. It left a quarter-sized burnt hole in the kitchen."
“If my parents would have found out, they would have been PISSED. No question that there would have been serious ramifications. Nobody brought it up the first week after they came back. I was super stressed. Nobody brought it up the second week after they came back I decided this is not enough, I need to proactively cover my tracks."
“One day while my mom was making dinner, I came over. I pointed at the hole, let out a surprised gasp, and asked her why there was a burn mark on our floor. She said that she thinks she must had dropped something hot on the floor while cooking. I was golden, the hole never came up again" Nacho_buddy
“My secret is that the year after, when I was 15 I was dating a guy that I actually didnt like cause i was new in town and felt alone. One day another dude who was interested in me cornered me. I knew he would try to kiss me, but I was bored with my life and wanted some drama so I played dumb. After he kissed me I pushed him away and ran to tell my boyfriend. I was truly a mess back then.“ winixon
These users must be glad to get these off their chest behind the safety of a screen name. We just got all the family secrets in this one.
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