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People Share Their Best 'Humanity Is Bloody Stupid' Stories

Some people are smart, but a whole lot of them are dumb af. We see it all the time, and it's sometimes truly a wonder to behold. Not Knowable readers though, y'all are a cut above.

spaghetti-soup asked: What made you think: "People are f*cking stupid?"

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


No annual fee? It's all free!

Well, I work at a bank and hear stupid sh*t all the time... one that comes to mind:

A guy was offered a credit card, with the promise that the first annual fee was for free. He somehow misunderstood the offer and thought that the bank was going to pay for everything he used the card to buy for the first year, instead of y'know... not charging him the annual fee for having the card. Naturally, he maxed out the card and was in for a big surprise when he contacted the bank because it was suddenly being declined everywhere.

iVikingr

Reminds me of my one friend that thought taxes were a loan to the government, and expected to get 100% of his taxes back on the refund.

nagol93

Omg smh.

I listened to a call from a tech support agent speaking with a customer that was convinced her iPhone had a virus on it. "It has little red and pink bumps on the screen, even when its turned off!" After 20 minutes of the agent trying to figure it out unsuccessfully, he asked for a number on the phone and customer couldn't see it, so she called her grandson in to read the numbers, he immediately scratched off one of the "virus bumps" and asked the customer why she had paint on the phone. They had painted a nursery room earlier and some pink paint drops got on the phone.

SilencerNate

Literally everything their device is doing that they don't understand is a virus to an old person. It's insane. I work in an electronics store and just recently an old lady came in saying she thinks she has a virus on her iPhone because this line keeps showing up in her text conversations. She kept pointing it out to me and I didn't see it for the longest time until I realized she was talking about the scroll bar.

AprilSpektra

What did she think would happen, honestly?

The woman in the news this morning who tried to take a selfie with a jaguar by going into its enclosure and got mauled.

TheJadedSF

I came here to say this. "The zoo says they have no plans to euthanize the jaguar"

To the woman's credit, she went back to the zoo and apologized.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-arizona-jaguar/jaguar-claws-arizona-woman-who-climbed-zoo-barrier-to-take-a-selfie-idUSKBN1QR0YB

steel_jasminum

Harambe died for this progress.

TheAsianBarbarian

Those stupid chain letters.

Scrolling through any social media platform and seeing those god forbidden posts saying "Share for 7 years of good luck!" or "[said app] is going to start charging users 4.00$ on may 1st! The first 10,000 people to share this post do not have to pay!" I mean seriously, how do people really believe this crap?

Teatookle

I bet you can't think of a word that both starts and ends in t. Bet you can't think of a country with the letter a in it. Bet you can't think of a single name with the letter d in it. If you can you are an amazing linguist and so very smart. Top intellect in the world with the highest iq.

F*cktasticfantastic

These posts just feed on the

Dunning–Kruger effect. People think they are geniuses for solving these stupid problems.

Oh and another type is the stupidly easy math problems: "What is 1+1-1+1*0? Only 5% of people get it right!!!!" And then you look at the comments and see a significant number of people somehow getting it wrong. Not only wrong, but confidently wrong, to the point where they start arguing with others about it.

Ixilary

All the time.

Whenever I see a bottleneck of people waiting to get through a door, and there's a second door that none of them have bothered to open.

CallMeTDD

This and people standing in front of an escalator or stairs having a conversation are frustrating to me. Or leaving your cart in the middle of the isle while you try to decide which cereal to buy, this usually ends up with your cart pushed to the end of the isle and out of the way. I don't understand peoples complete lack of regard for anyone else.

limepr0123

When people don't understand what acting is.

People who harass actors on social media when the character they play is being a dick in a show/movie. It happened to Josh McDermitt (he plays Eugene in the Walking Dead). I met him and he was an absolute lovely, positive guy.

He eventually deleted all his social media channels because lots of people couldn't make the distinction between him and his character and he was harassed 24/7. How can people honestly be dumb enough to not understand fiction?!

Cherokee-Roses

Happened to the guy who played Malfoy, to the guy who played Joffrey, the guy who played the killer in Dirty Harry, and plenty others. It's driven several people out of acting entirely.

sumelar

The guy that played Jar Jar in Star Wars said he was considering suicide from all the harassment.

lamest-liz

Honestly though, HOW? Like, I would be able to imagine that there are one or two idiots out there who can't tell reality from fiction. But, like you said, I see these kind of nasty comments everywhere. Those people vote too. Such a depressing thought.

Cherokee-Roses

Totally missing the point.

My school offers a discount on coffee if you bring your own mug for them to fill, so they don't have to use paper coffee cups. Makes sense in theory, except the employees measure out one serving of coffee by using a paper coffee cup, then they pour that into your personal mug and throw out the paper coffee cup....

K_Shan

Holy f*ck this drives me up the wall, just started working at a place where they do this.

I've seen people do this exact thing I told them it's stupid if we want to incentivise the guests we shouldnt be measuring their cups just make an honest judgement.

TimmyIo

Please stop.

Every time someone advertises a pyramid scheme on their Insta/Snapchat story.

alexjialeliu

Hahaha pyramid scheme? It's a reverse funnel system.

repspls

Would you like to hard sell essential oils to all your friends and family until they hate you and stop inviting you to the holidays?

meshgearfoxx

Seriously?

Number of years ago working at a gas station, guy drives in like a bat out of hell with smoke pouring out of his car. This is a rather large station with a lot of room but this guy decides to park at the pumps, jump out and yells that he thinks his car is on fire, I lay into him about how he is stupid if he thinks the smartest place to park is next to gas pumps when you think your car is on fire. There is literally 6000 sq ft of nothing but concrete to park on that is away from the pumps and he picks that spot. Good thing because of the white "smoke" I knew it was just an over heating car but the guys thought process really made me feel some people just shouldn't be allowed out in public.

limepr0123

I work for the cable company doing maintenance on the outside plant. Every now and then if a cable that is buried in the ground goes bad, we run an orange temporary cable above to replace it until a new one can be buried in a conduit. Safety cones, yadda yadda until markouts are done and then in it goes. This whole process can take a couple of weeks so it's not uncommon to have one of these on top of the ground for a bit. Well, one rocket scientist of a lady thought her neighbor was stealing cable from her so she cut it, knocking out half of the cul-de-sac. I proceeded to lay into her asking if she thought it was ever a good idea to cut random cables lying in the street. Some of these temp cables will have upwards of 90v and maybe 3-5 amps on them. Thankfully for her, this one was feeding termination so there wasn't any voltage on it. The look she gave me was one of complete bewilderment, like cutting this cable was the most logical thing for her and she couldn't understand why it was a bad idea. This was in a very upscale part of the state so it's not like these people were lacking resources to find out what the cable was before cutting it.

misterpickles69

We know better than to click, but we still click.

The comments on YouTube videos, Facebook articles, Yahoo Answers, and pretty much any other corner of the internet where many people congregate.

Kynsade

The comment section of almost any NASA Facebook post makes me want to break something.

ImaManCheetah

Aliens... every time they find anything interesting.... Aliens.

UnderPantsFireAnts

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.