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People Who Up And Started A New Life One Day Describe What The Experience Was Really Like

People Who Up And Started A New Life One Day Describe What The Experience Was Really Like
Free-Photos from Pixabay

When life becomes too much to bear, there are people who want a reset and go off the grid to start a new chapter.

Even those who feel like they have no purpose in life and are lost, the notion that anywhere is better than here is enough of a motivator to start packing.

So off they go to another city, or even a foreign country.

Sure, the unknown is terrifying and the thought of escape and starting over can be overwhelming, but many who chose to take a leap of faith have expressed it was the best decision they ever made.


Curious to hear from strangers who left the life they were dissatisfied with, Redditor always_thinking1 asked:

"People who just up and left one day and started a new life, what was your experience like?"

It's Always Rough At First

These people didn't necessarily flee the country, but they traveled far enough away to reclaim their lives and had no regrets.

It's not about the distance. It's more about where you land and what you do there.

Leaving New York

"I did this a year and a half ago. Best thing I've ever done. Moved from Western New York to Arizona! It was tough at first with trying to get on my feet, and when I did...the pandemic started. But it's easier to do than most people think. I believe most people dont do it because of the 'unknown' and scared of change."

"For me, I'm happier than I've ever been. I have a really good paying job. The best paying job I've ever had actually. And the first job I've ever had that I enjoy going to. I'm 34 so that's saying something! And to live where I live, views of mountains, beautiful weather....it's just a dream come true."

ibjimig

Back To The Big City

"Sold everything and got on a greyhound with my two little kids and went across country to a big city I had visited once and loved. We've been here 11 years now. Have never regretted making this our home. It was very hard. We have struggled so much. But the decent life we have now made it worthwhile."

– Scot-Israeli

Improvement Of Life

"Literally just did something similar 3 weeks ago.. Moved from Iowa to Phoenix and my life hasn't been this good in years. I haven't been this happy with what's going on in my life in so long and it's so refreshing. I luckily had some family to support me through the transition, and its been a little rocky, but I'm so glad I made the leap. Good on you friend!"

wikthis

Leaving A Dead End Job

"4 years ago, I abruptly quit a job I had worked for 7.5 years that I finally had to admit was a dead end. I got a job at a lodge in a national park flipping burgers for minimum wage. I didn't know a single person there when I moved. But it quickly led to travelling to amazing places like Alaska and making lots of friends from all over the world. The experience gave me the confidence to really pursue my career goals, and last year I finally got my dream job! Nothing good happens in your comfort zone!"

"EDIT: I've never had a comment get nearly this much feedback, and I regret the wording of that last sentence, which I didn't think through! It was more aimed at those who are feeling stuck and have big dreams but are afraid to make a change. There's nothing wrong AT ALL with being happy with what you have, and with having a more stable existence. In fact, I'm really looking forward to settling down soon and having a more comfy life. I'm sorry my wording came off kind of judgmental! That was not my intention."

"To answer some questions that are coming up, I'm working as an illustrator and designer for the national parks. It was a really difficult road, working crappy kitchen jobs and working/volunteering on the side to build my resume. Financially, working seasonally can be difficult, and I was scraping by for a few years until I got my current job. It was the right choice for me, but maybe not for everyone!"

tikimoose

Take A Leap

"I'm from a small town in the UK Midlands. Moved to London when I was 28 and loved it! Had the best 11 years there. Met my wife who is an Ozzie and now lived in Sydney Australia for the last 5 years, own a house with 2 young kids and love it here too for different reasons. Funny the path that life takes you on.. but sometimes you have to choose to step off and make your own changes."

– born_sleepy

No Turning Back

For some people, it was more urgent to leave a situation due to reasons that included depression, life of drugs, and in this woman's case, an abusive household.

Once they reached the other side, they were finally able to enjoy life as it was meant to be lived.

Finding Yourself

"I was 26 years old, divorced, and living in Saudi Arabia (my home country) with extremely religious (cult-like) family. As a woman, you can imagine what an absolute f'king nightmare that was. This was before any of the 'reformations' of dear MBS in the country. The guardian system made it near f'king impossible to break free from an abusive household. I didn't know what to do. I had a good degree. I spoke English like a native. I decided it was time to finally leave this hell hole. So on December 30, 2014, with nothing more than my legal documents, a suitcase, and a carry-on, I crossed the causeway to Bahrain with the help of friends and got on a plane to the United States. It's been over 6 years."

"I was numb until I landed on American soil. Once I could breathe the air of freedom, I broke down. I was taken advantage of my first year in this country. I received death threats, hate mail, temper tantrums from my mom that finally culminated in her telling me that I was dead to her and to never contact her again. I couldn't work for a whole year. Even after, it took 8 months to find a job and it paid sh*t. I was homeless. I rented a room from a murderer (he did his time though). Lots of weird sh*t."

"Then in the last 2 years my life really began. I found my hobbies. I found myself. I found a new family. My dog and I hike and travel a lot. Then I met the love of my life and he has joined our wonderful little pack. I miss family. I miss certain aspects of my culture. I feel bad for not trying to make more of a change. I feel like a coward sometimes, but I just wanted to live. I didn't want to be a 'hero' or a 'martyr' or a 'dissident'. I literally just wanted the freedom to be able to go out of my house whenever I wanted to without someone interrogating me like some kind of criminal. I wanted to be able to accept a job and not have to have my father give his 'consent' so I can work. I wanted to adopt a dog, go on hikes, travel the world, fall in love. I didn't want to stay in my father's house waiting until a man feels sorry enough for me to add me to his collection of wives. I was 26 and divorced. Women my age in my culture don't get single eligible bachelors. Those are reserved for the 16-21 year-olds."

just_lurking_b99

"It Was Empowering"

"I did this last year. Granted I stayed in the same state, it was terrifying and exciting all rolled into one. I quit my job without having another one. Sold my house without having a home. Packed everything my son and I owned and moved 3 hours away. Best. Decision. Ever. It made me feel like I could do it again if I ever wanted too. The world is so big, so it was empowering."

"Edit: I grew up in the country, lived in the same county for 31 years, and moved to the city. 3 hours away may not seem like much, but it was a huge change."

Hopeful_1130

"Just Up And Left"

"A year ago me and my partner were addicted to drugs living in a little room, depressed with no motivation so we just up and left. Today we are in our own place in the country with steady jobs and i have never been happier."

SlugEyePie

Leaving Enablers

"As someone who was shooting up 200 to 500 dollars a day before I quit around ten years ago you really have to do 2 things if you really are at the stage that you want to quit. The first is very hard but unlike the first person staying around the same people you're around usually just does not work. So much of your kinship with those people revolving around drugs will make you want to drugs even if you stop for awhile. You have to just go no contact with them. Its the only way I found any success."

"The second one which is also just as hard for some people is you have to get help. Real help like replacement treatment, suboxone or methadone and therapy. You have to realize going in that the replacements are just as bad but they do one thing thats essential. They let you normalize your life and take away the seeking drugs all the time mentality. Without that its very hard for therapy to work through all this stuff simply cause your mind isn't in a state that it can be worked on. Its constantly starving for something it sees as food now and will not stop wanting more to approach where the addiction is coming from."

throwaway8193739

Free From Torment

"I walked out on my abusive ex while he was in central booking with a single suitcase and a bunch of cats in carriers, took an uber five hours north, and totally started over. New name, new (claimed) birthday, new hair colour..."

"It was the most liberating experience of my life and, even though I still suffer residual effects from old injuries, being free of that bastard is a million reasons to be happy."

– AliceMorgon

Swapping Countries

What works for some doesn't always work for another.

These two Redditors swapped countries to seek their new respective lives.

And another had to leave their country to realize what they already had was a good situation that was not apparent to them at first.

Goodbye, London

"3 years ago I moved from London, UK to Alberta, Canada."

"Best decision of my life."

"London is a very lonely city, especially when you're introverted. I never made any real close friends, and it's so insanely expensive that even with a great job I didnt have much money left to go out and enjoy life. And I lived in a small, awful shared apartment where the only space to myself was a probably 20 sq ft room or smaller. It is an amazing city but it didnt work for me."

"Since being in Alberta I've made some close friends and met the love of my life. I finally have savings and a realistic prospect of buying a house one day. I live in a huge, 2 bedroom apartment by myself. I live near the rockies so I do a good amount of hiking. I've been tubing and ice skating with friends. Pre [the virus] I started going to a new gym and on the first session had people saying hi, probably could've been friends if [the virus] hadn't hit. Not to mention it's so sunny. The cold is extreme but I will never miss the grey and rain of England."

"I moved here with a 2 week airbnb reservation, $5000 to survive off and no real plan, no jobs prospects. Just the knowledge I could book a flight home if needed. Somehow it all ended up working out."

bo_radley

Goodbye, Canada

"I'm originally from Edmonton and left the cold for London. I've found the love of my life here and love the city and European getaways. I'm not surse I could move back although I do miss the hiking and nature. I actually really get on with the English though, love their sense of humour and sharp wit. Definitely don't miss tipping culture!!"

ImpostersPosterior

Back Again

"It's funny, I moved away from the UK for a similar reason to California... and didn't like it. Didn't experience some great life shift that others in this sub have had. Didn't find the weather actually altered my mindset that much."

"Came back to london and loved the city even more. Realised that the build up to summer was way more exciting than just everyday okay weather. I did buy a SAD sun lamp thing on Amazon that I use occasionally but I found that it wasn't really the weather that was bothering me, but more my mindset and longing for something else. I changed my career slightly (not massively, same industry but different section) and made more of an effort to enjoy the amazing things that london does offer. Couldn't imagine living anywhere else now."

"It's not the same for everyone, and I know for sure the weather has a massive impact on many peoples MH, but for me it was masking the route issue, and realising that has made my life 1000 times more fun and relaxing!"

"I would say though, definitely try moving elsewhere. I didn't grow up in london (I'm from the south west) and moved for uni. I think for a lot of people who grew up in london they don't try living anywhere else in the UK, let alone abroad. Give it a try. It's always worth it even if you hate it. I know it's hard at the moment cause of [the virus], but really look into maybe short term work abroad, studying or a longer term move depending on your age."

"And on the days when it is sunny in london, go out. Even if it's just to walk around aimlessly. I used to bus up to north london to stroll the posh areas and Hampstead Heath. Sometimes just a walk along the Thames or through a park can really make your day. There's a park near the Brunswick that has goats! There's another in Hackney that has cute fluffy animals (can't remember the name sorry). Regent's Park is great for seeing funny posh dogs. Plus, no city in the world appreciates a sunny day more than Londoners. The energy and excitement when it gets warm is unmatched."

"Do what you feel is right for you, keep yourself safe, and try and make the most of what london can offer until you find a way to try something new!"

madspeepetrichor

Most Redditors discovered that a change was necessary to inject excitement into their lives. It's not always easy, and there are many obstacles that may plant seeds of doubt and regret.

But over time, many people realized that – regardless of whether or not they left and returned to the same dwelling – a change of scenery also inspired a change in perspective and a renewed discovery of their own potentials.

When I moved from Los Angeles to New York, it was the best decision of my life. However, after 20 fabulous years in Gotham City, I'm considering a move back to the West Coast for a variety of reasons.

I may be geographically retracing my steps, but to me, It's still a new direction in life.

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People Who Cheated On Someone Break Down Why They Really Did It

Reddit user miaah214 asked: 'People who have cheated before, why did you do it?'

Paper heart ripped in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.

But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.

Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:

"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"

Revenge Cheat

"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."

- Witch_on_a_moped

Immature and Selfish

"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."

"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."

"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."

- Seba_King

Insecurity

"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."

"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."

- Penfold_for_PM

Just Desire

"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."

- mydepressingpoems

Lots of Options

"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."

"Too many times to be a fluke."

"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."

"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."

"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"

"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."

- Patient-Quarter-1684

In Need of Validation

"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."

"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."

- RowhammerBitflip

"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."

"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."

"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."

- tellitothemoon

The Thrill of It

"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."

"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."

- Temporary_Fault6402

The Real Joy

"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."

"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."

"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."

- loomdog1

In Need of Attention

"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."

"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."

"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."

"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."

- throwawaythrowyellow

The Easier Option

"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."

"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."

- dodongosbongos

Devastating Choices

"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."

"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."

"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."

"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."

- Dramiotic

The Perfect Combination

"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."

"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."

- LowCarbBeesechussy

Emotionally Done

"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."

"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."

- codefyre

Ready to Make Up for It

"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."

"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."

"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."

- Anthonys455

Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.

The Worst Kind of Cheating

"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."

"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."

"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."

- six6sickx

"You're a monster."

- Efficient_Ad_8367

It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.

It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.

Smartphone showing a lighting switch app
Moritz Kindler/Unsplash

Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.

Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.

Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.

Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:

"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"

We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.

Taking Charge

"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."

– ihadtowalkhere

"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."

"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"

– nicktam2010

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."

– blehbleh1122

"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."

– BunjaminFrnklin

"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."

– TryUsingScience

A Cool Idea

"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."

– jermleeds

"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.

– cantwejustplaynice

No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.

No More Slamming

"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."

– AreWeCowabunga

"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"

– PinkHamster08

Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick

"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."

– maartenvanheek

"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."

– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig

Perfect Welcoming Gesture

"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."

– YouInternational2152

It's electrifying!

Think Smart

"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."

– Revolutionary-Try746

"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."

– cppadam

Things Are Looking Bright

"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."

– SnooCauliflowers9981

Energy Conservation Option

"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."

– AmazingAsian

Creating an environment can make a huge difference.

Source Lighting For The Win

"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."

– ShoesAreTheWorst

Home Art Gallery

"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."

– GinGimlet

"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."

– Triolion

One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.

The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.

There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.

Game changer.

man with girl on his shoulders

Brittani Burns on Unsplash

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A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.

But there's always room for improvement, right?

And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?

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woman making the shushing gesture

Bjorn Pierre on Unsplash

Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?

Yeah, good luck with that.

Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.

Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.

Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.

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