Hearing someone say something hurtful about you sucks. It doesn't even have to be a purposefully negative thing, or an intentional hurt - sometimes it's just rough to feel like people aren't on your team. Oh, you thought it only happened to you? Psh. Wrong.
It's not just people who hate you that talk trash, either. I remember my mother telling my now-ex-husband to be careful with me because I was manipulative and would try to take him for everything he had. We've had our differences (obviously, or he wouldn't be my ex) but even he will 100% attest to the fact that she couldn't have been further from the mark.
Let's just say my mother has always been one to assume the worst about me in all cases possible.
Reddit user lunardownpour asked:
and yeah ... ouch. The responses were rough.
Should Have Died
In high school I was in a terrible car accident. My first day back at school 3 weeks later, I walked into my AP English class and heard some girl say "She honestly should have just died in that accident. Better for everyone that way."
She was actually just mad that her boyfriend had broken up with her and very publicly asked me out; and that I had beaten her in an important writing contest. The results of the contest had been posted that morning. She seemed angry that I was still doing my work when I was out, but I couldn't leave my bed so why not?
Coincidentally that was also the first time I realized my best friend would always have my back. She hadn't realized I walked in and verbally destroyed that bitch in front of about 12 of her friends.
... Just Not Her
"When I'm ready to settle down It'll be with someone like her... just not her"
By the guy I'd been seeing for a while when someone asked him why we hadn't made it "official" yet.
Right Idea, Wrong Kid
My stepdad insisting I was sleeping with my boyfriend (wasn't) and that I'd wind up just like my mother, pregnant at a young age. My mom got mad because obviously it wasn't easy being a teenage parent but she did well for herself and for me. This eventually turned into a yelling match about why he would date/marry her if he had a problem with her having me at a young age and him trying to backtrack and bring up other issues to deflect.
Turns out he had the right idea, just the wrong kid. My sister, his biological daughter, had my lovely nephew days before she turned 18.
The Birthday PartyGiphy
In 6th grade the "popular kids" went to one kids birthday party. Don't know how but I found out about it existing, and my parents forced me to go. This was back when all the boys were invited to birthday parties.
I overheard the birthday boy telling someone that I wasn't invited. Really sucked.
"He literally has no friends. Our son is weak and can't do anything."
Was dating my ex, and was at her house and we were outside, went in to use the bathroom and left them outside. Little did they know, the ground level window was open, so i could hear them start talking, and it went a little like this.
Friend: "I cant believe you're dating that POS, he's creepy"
Ex: "I know, I told you hes a rebound for jack"
Friend: "As long as you get rid of him, hes so annoying to be around"
Fluent In Greek
I'm fluent in Greek, but I don't look Greek at all. When I was a lot younger I walked into a restaurant with my girlfriend at the time, the couple next to us was constantly talking about us in Greek. Just wrecking me mostly. Such as:
How is this 1/10 with this 10/10?
Muscle head must be on steroids.
His pants and shirt don't even fit.
Probably no money and is abusive.
Finally I had enough and I wrote them a note in Greek that said something like: "You are hurting my feelings. I don't understand why you people are rude and evil, please stop." and passed it on to them.
When we left the bill was covered.
I had my head down in class and overheard two girls talking about how I smelled
That really got to me especially since I'm a borderline germophobe. After that I doubled up on everything like showers, oral hygiene, face washing, etc...
Everyday at school I would always worry about how I smelled and it would make me slightly depressed at times and give me anxiety about going to that class
To this day, I still feel insecure about how I smell to others.
A Little Bit Of Weight
I wouldn't say worst but it's not nice. My mum weighs about 140kgs (just over 300lbs) has had both hips and a knee replaced, went through menopause at 37 and has all these other ailments like osteoarthritis and fatty liver disease. She'd rather pop a pill then do anything else to somehow ease her illnesses and the PRIMARY thing that would contribute to a better life is her losing the weight.
I have had a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy 5 years ago, suffered with PCOS since 11, and so still didn't lose weight as much as other women. I have now been keto for three years after finding out I had serious food allergies (wheat/yeast/soy). So I'm very mindful of food, nutrition, exercise etc.
I do Olympic weightlifting 3 times per week, strength training, horse riding and yoga for physical and mental health. I've lost over 45kgs (about 100 lbs) on my journey and improved my life significantly. As a result, I've also had to buy clothing that fits and get used to wearing things more form fitting.
So over Xmas mum bought me all these things from a store that were size xxxl -I think that would be 20-22 AU at the store she purchased from. I could see just looking at the garment it wouldn't fit, but in my mums eyes I'm as fat as her. So I tell her it doesn't fit and she doesn't believe me until I put the pyjama pants on and pulled the waistband over my head. Instead of laughing about it she got pissed off.
We went to that store to change the items but being that I've not purchased from them before I didn't know what size I would fit. So I'm trying two sizes and she purposely wants me to wear the larger size. I do a few swaps and put the smaller size on and she says "oh that's lovely" and when I tell her it's the smaller size she says "it's grabbing at the back". (It wasn't).
So I hear the sales lady come up and she asks my mum if I'm ok and my mum says "She's lost a little bit of weight and wants to wear everything tighter now" with such disgust in her voice.
I couldn't believe it. I took everything off and opened the curtain and threw them back at her and told her she could buy something for herself with the credit from the store.
It's your mum and you don't want to think she's jealous or dislikes you but more and more I think she doesn't like me at all. A person who likes you wouldn't behave like that.
My husband says she's jealous because she can't even bend to tie her shoes let alone walk even 100 metres without panting like she ran a marathon.
My step-dad reading my diary of love poems to his friends at the dinner table and laughing about "how stupid" it was. I was like 8, for hell's sake. And that diary was stored in my desk drawer in my room. I was absolutely livid.
Just Like Her Father
"She looks just like her father when she's angry" My father regularly beat the everloving snot out of my mother. It got worse after I was born. FACS removed me at 6 months old, for 6 months, because my father was holding me when he swung at my mother and he dropped me. She left when I was 2. I overheard her telling a social worker this quote when I was 16.
It hurt like hell because I apparently reminded her of the man who scarred her for life in many ways whenever I was grumpy.
The Sentimental Jacket
I overheard my friends say:
"She always wears that jacket, Probably cuts herself that ugly [deleted]."
It killed me on the inside. The jacket was from my aunt who moved far away. It reminded me of her. I stopped wearing that jacket and felt ashamed.
Proud To Be An American
I have family who are very proud of their Mexican heritage. I'm very proud to be an American and I've served in the US Marine Corps.
I've over heard them talking in Spanish (since they forget I can still speak it), and they joke about how stupid they think I am for having joined. They feel that I deserve the hassles I'm getting dealing with the VA.
Do The Job Right
Basically I was in a toxic relationship at the time, and it was just a constant cycle of my ex gaslighting me, becoming jealous of anyone else who spent time with me, putting me down, etc. For context, I was also in an abusive situation at home living with my dad, and I had met my ex, Mark, and dated him as I was dealing with my home life.
We were a long distance relationship, and we mainly chatted on Skype. We'd have voice calls and video chats often, usually when my dad was asleep for obvious reasons. When I explained to him when I'd suddenly hang up during calls or I was gone for a while without warning it was because of my dad. Mark would just laugh it off with really awful jokes about it.
Don't get me wrong, I love dark humor as much as the next guy, but it hurts to hear that when you're dealing with getting beat regularly. He constantly vented to me about stuff in his life, but got angry when I even got the smallest bit upset about anything in my life.
Fast forward near the end of our relationship; Mark was in a call with me and another person, sharing what was showing on his screen as he was using his laptop. I suppose Mark assumed I fell asleep since it was late and I was quiet, or didn't care/forgot that he was sharing his screen.
He opened his chat with the other person, and I saw some of the stuff she and Mark were saying about me. Mark's message to her that said something like:
"LMAO I hope her dad gets mad enough to do the job right next time"
He knew that dad threatened to kill me a few times.
His Girlfriend's Kids
My father was talking to my grandmother about how I was weird and he preferred to be a father to his girlfriend's kids.
I saw my favorite teacher from secondary school in a pub. I heard him say to a friend that I was one of his biggest disappointments.
I'm well aware that I haven't met expectations but this hit me really hard.
Not sure if this counts but I was casually going through my girlfriend's comment history and found out she had made a post on the Couple Advice subreddit about how boring I am. She said that she feels like I'm preventing her from having fun and "caging her in."
Not the worst thing I've heard but it hurt to see how my girlfriend felt I was so boring she was considering breaking up with me.
So Much Better
"I heard Johnny is dating her, he can do so much better"
The entire room agreed. I was at the door as the room fell silent when they realized I heard them.
The Drunken Phone Call
My mom got drunk and was talking to someone on the phone. She said she wishes she had aborted me. This was right after I came out as trans.
A Flight To Catch
After a suicide attempt that nearly killed me, I heard my dad say to someone in the emergency department
"How long is this going to take? I have a flight to catch in the morning."
It's one of the only things I remember about that night.
The Ugly End Of The Scale
I was in English class, must have been about 15 years old. There were two guys sitting next to me who were chatting amongst themselves whilst we were doing work. The two 'popular' girls were sitting at the back of the class, one was extremely beautiful the other one was...kinda average.
I heard one of the boys ask the other one if they thought the average looking popular girl was hot, his response was "I mean, kinda, shes not like [pretty popular girl's] level but shes not like..."
Then he looked around the room briefly and said my name. The other guy then agreed with him and they moved on in their conversation.
I think the reason why it crushed me so much was the fact that he didn't intend on me to hear, he wasn't saying it to try and be funny or hurt my feelings, he was just using me as an example of someone on the ugly end of the scale in order to get his point across.
If they said it loudly for me to hear I would have just brushed it off as kids being mean, but the fact that it was something I overheard made it so much more painful.
The Fun House Lady
I was told, to my face, that when I laugh I sound like the fat lady at the fun house. Not something you want to hear. Especially when you laugh alot.
Early in my career, I got an email from a co-worker, meant for someone else, talking about how tight and out-of-style my jeans were. I had zero self-esteem back then so I threw the jeans away after work that day. Now I would've laughed it off, or more likely I would've used it to embarrass the dude who sent it.
Approached my mother to tell her I felt suicidal, that I thought I needed help. Under her breath as I left she muttered:
"Hurry up and do it then and stop talking about it."
I was 15.
The Church Ladies
I was walking into a church as a teen, two older ladies were walking by and I heard one say out loud:
"That's one ugly kid."
There was no one else around so they had to be talking about me.
Then the other one (I guess to be nicer, but sounded worse) said to her:
"Well, he's not ugly to his momma."
Our memories are strange things. They can totally play tricks on us and make us believe we experienced something we never did, even if there is mounting evidence against what we recall.
Sometimes several memories become one memory, or else details become lost or embellished; sometimes we are told a story so many times that a false memory of the event starts to form.
But sometimes, something strange really did happen and our memories are actually serving us perfectly.
"What's something you can swear you saw but no one is believing you?"
Here were some of those answers.
"I saw a dude standing next to my truck with an unnaturally wide smile. I was on highway 49 east right outside Greenwood, MS."
"I heard hail hit my truck a few times so I pulled over expecting a tornado. I was grabbing my backpack getting ready to bail out for the ditch".
"I turn back to the driver side window to check my mirror and this guy was just standing there. Smiling. It scared me so bad I just slammed the truck in drive and got out of there."-WhiteGravy747
It's My Party
"I threw a party at the condo I lived in with my sister and mom while they were on vacation when I was maybe 17?"
"After the party died down me and 4 of my close friend were the only ones still there and awake and while talking by the top of the basement stairs the handle of the door at the top that was closed moved like someone was struggling to open it."
"Thinking someone passed out in my basement and was too drunk to get the door open I opened it to an empty basement."
"All my friends saw this happen and we stayed up til the morning in my living room too freaked out to move. Everyone blows it off like we were just hammered but by then we were nearly sobered up."-lindsanity16
A Visit From Beyond
"Not something I saw, something I felt and heard. I was struggling to sleep one night, lying in bed feeling wired and irritable when I felt pressure lift from the bed on my partner's side."
"I assumed he'd got up to go to the bathroom (I was facing the opposite way so I didn't see him do this) a few minutes go by and I hear him come back into the room and feel him get back in bed, nothing strange about that."
"Lying there still frustrated the same thing happens again, a lift of pressure, some rustling sounds like a person trying to navigate a dark room, an absence of sound for a few moments and then the sensation of weight on the bed again."
"Still not thinking much of it, because it wasn't an obvious cause for concern, I continue trying to fall asleep. Then it happens again. And again. And again."
"I wasn't too into the idea of asking him if he was ok as we had a ridiculous argument that night and I was pretty pissed off with him, so I just ignored it."
"But then... Then it sounded like he had got up and was simply pacing around the room clumsily, I could hear things on the shelves being touched and slightly moved and hands gently brushing against walls, and then I felt the bed suddenly dip in a concentrated spot of the mattress as though he had stood on it."
"This carries on for I don't know how long, rustling, pressure on the bed and so on until I snap. I sit bolt upright, turn around and say 'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?' to see my partner waking up from a very deep sleep and looking confused."
"I told him what had happened and he said he'd been asleep next to me the whole time, which was pretty obvious to see him in his very sleepy state, plus he would have had mere seconds to jump into bed without me noticing in the time it took me to sit up and turn around."
"I somehow fell asleep that night feeling confused and as though eyes were on me. And in a typical cheesy haunted house fashion, I get a call from my mum the next morning telling me my uncle had died the night before."-JenikaSwoosh
These things most certainly affected each and every person who remembers seeing them.
Re-Spawn In Real Life
"I have never mentioned this before to anyone. Scene: EPCOT in Orlando, on the brick walkway between a walk-thru part with stores and such on either side and the part leading up to The Land."
"Date: June 2008. I was with my pregnant wife. Huge storm rolls in, black clouds, about to pour, when there was this unearthly deafening sound and bright light exploded."
"I opened my eyes and I was standing 30 feet or more away back under the covered walkway, unharmed. My wife said I had been standing right beside her, then I wasn't."
"It was too far to have run in the brief second of the explosion (I assume a lightning strike). Swear this happened as well as I could tell it."-acrossthreeparallels
"I live in a rural community in Canada. My sister came to see me once and swore up and down that she saw a zebra grazing in the fields."
"I made fun of her for a couple of years about how the zebra roam the north pole and how Santa has zebra instead of reindeer. She was really starting to doubt herself but stuck to her guns."
"Well, I was driving one day and lo and behold, a f**king zebra grazing in the field. Turns out a zoo sometimes lets them roam around there. When I told my sister she felt vindicated."-greybruce1980
"I stayed over a church friend's house when I was 8ish. He said he had a little sister but my parents and I never saw her at church or anything. My Mom said it was probably imaginary."
"At night I walked in the wrong room and saw a teenage girl in a crib, dressed like a baby."
"I told my Mom, I told my friends, I told whoever I could but no one believe me."-Bullydaddy
"I am going to share something my grandma told me that she saw, because it is so f**king weird and I have never heard anything like this before in my life."
"My grandma and her cousin were walking on a country road in Oklahoma, sometime in the 1940s. They saw a strange figure float up over a hill up ahead about half a football field away. She said it appeared 2 dimensional and it was roughly the size of a cow."
"It was white and was composed of geometric shapes. It had a rectangular body, with no legs (it floated). It had a square head at one end with two little triangle ears and little slit looking eyes. No nose or mouth that she could see."
"When the figure rose up over the hill, my grandma and her cousin froze in terror. The thing froze, too. They all just stood there staring at each other for a moment."
"Then its head floated to the opposite end of its body and it floated back in the direction it came from. Her cousin corroborates her story, but it's just very strange to me."
"I believe that they saw something weird, but I'm not sure I'm convinced that a weird two dimensional demon cow is out there floating around in Oklahoma somewhere."-Traditional_Self_658
These moments quite literally took the breath out of people.
My Brother The Flash
"When we were ten years old, all of my cousins and siblings were playing hide and seek in the dark in the middle of a park. When someone gets found, you join the seeker to look for people, but you can't tell them where they are."
"I was the seeker and I had just found one of my cousins, so we were walking around and looking for the rest. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone that looked exactly like my brother run past us at inhuman speed."
"I turned to look at my cousin and he had admitted that he saw the same thing. We found my brother later in the round, but he was at the other side of the park. Nobody believes either of us but both of us still remember it."-PainfullyQuietAnger
A Semi-Aquatic Struggle
"A few years back I saw a capybara in my front yard (in Alabama). NO ONE believed me because by the time I came back with my phone he was gone."
"The best I got was a, 'I guess it might have been a capybara' after a local man was found to have his own exotic animal collection less than three miles away."
"Other animals I saw in that yard: an emu and two bison. I must have lived pretty close to that dude's land."-itsJussaMe
He Was A Slime Zombie!
"When I was little, maybe 7, the son of a lady who babysat my brother and I, cut his leg on our swing set. Green goo came out of his leg."
"I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember the type of bolt it was, the cover is was missing to prevent cuts. I'm a dentist now (taken gross anatomy, dissected a human body, routinely in the OR for resections of crazy head and neck tumors)."
"With the exception of gross infections, I've never seen green goo come out of someone. Let alone a healthy leg. It will never make sense to me. Ever."-DrCJHenley
The moments that stop us in our tracks are the moments that we and we alone experience. Nobody can believe us--and in a way, perhaps nobody should. Perhaps, for some reason, we were meant to see and process these moments alone.
But then again, wouldn't it be nice to get confirmation that the world is as strange as you believe it to be?
Scandals and gossip are the bread and butter of small towns, where nothing much really happens, and any small faux pas can turn into a misstep everyone in town will remember for the next decade.
Sometimes, though, truly remarkable things happen in small towns. Whether it's a spectacular crime such as a murder or a politician embezzling town funds, or simply some bizarre event that nobody could explain, it'll definitely end up in the local paper.
There's not much to do in small towns, after all.
Reddit user meepmeep_4 asked:
Murder and Mayhem
"Probably the Brown's Chicken Massacre, where 7 people were murdered at the restaurant over a robbery. Case was cold for 9 years until the girlfriend on one of the murderers went to the police that he had confessed to her. He and his friend were eventually convicted through DNA and a confession."
Sex Ed Failed This Guy
"Back in the 80s, during my senior year one guy in my high school class got 4 girls pregnant in a month long period. None of the girls were his girlfriend. The guy and his family left town during the middle of the night soon after that."
"Mayor and several city councillors were taking kickbacks and bribes from demolition/construction/cleaning companies for clean up contracts after a hurricane, funded by FEMA."
"The companies would give the mayor and city councillors like a couple grand, then the company would get FEMA funds in the tens of thousands to clean up/destroy a hurricane damaged property, only the address given to FEMA and listed on the contract were fake, or already cleared, so the companies got paid to do nothing."
Maybe DARE Wasn't the Best Idea
"DARE officer selling drugs that were evidence."
"Ha! There's an officer in my town who did the same thing. Spoke at DARE things but then gets busted selling weed from the evidence locker."
"Buddy's uncle got busted by our very small town DARE officer with a LB of weed in his trunk. At his court appearance his charges were for a half LB, since his jail time was going to be the same (not his first intent to distribute charge) he had his lawyer inform the judge of the discrepancy, which launched an investigation and a conviction of the DARE officer."
Medical Ethics Violations Across the Board
"There was an anesthetist, who worked at our local hospital and another hospital in a different town. He was rather well known among other doctors and known to be good at what he was doing. He only had a small problem with being addicted to pain killers and anaesthetics."
"So to feed his addiction without getting caught he shot up part of his patients' drugs before injecting the same needle into his patient."
"Thus went unnoticed until it was discovered that over 60 of his patients got infected with hepatitis. And that he was the source for it."
"He was fired and his license revoked as far as I know. But the hospital's image still suffered quite a bit."
From Tragic to Worse
"I'm from a very small town in Canada. Very quiet, nothing big ever came up and it was a fairly tight-knit community. One day, and explosion went off in an apartment building. A 23 yr old, single mother (who also happens to be a quadriplegic) was killed instantly."
"The case was eventually solved, the explosion was a gift-wrapped piped bomb left by her former financial adviser. He squandered hundreds of thousands of dollars from her and was convicted for it, he was then released on bail and then left the bomb."
"I’m originally from a down called Hyde, a few miles outside Manchester. Unfortunately, Hyde is famous for Harold Shipman, the once trusted GP who killed elderly patients by overdosing them with diamorphine. My grandma’s neighbour (Jack) was one of his many victims. (Side note: he also did my mum’s ultrasound when she was pregnant with me!). RIP Jack, you were a wonderful man."
"Harold Shipman has the highest confirmed body count of any serial killer on Wikipedia. There are worse monsters out there, but they're war criminals, terrorists and democidal governments..."
Very Comic Book Villain
"Was outside on my driveway playing basketball and multiple helicopters flew overhead. My friend in another neighborhood over texted me saying they evacuated all of the houses on her road and there were fbi or bomb squad agents or something there. Later found out some guy on the street tried to taint the town's water supply with blowfish venom and kill everyone."
Smuggling, But Not What You'd Expect
"I love in a Canadian border town. This police officer, nice as hell, that my grandmother cleaned for would gift her things, and seemed to have alot more money than your average cop. She would get wine, cheese, and other things. The most gifted item however, was cheese."
"Now, at the same time, there was a pizza place down the street from my house. The owners lived a couple doors down, and I was friends with their son, and the parents were pretty cool as far as neighbours go."
"They also had alot of money, for owning a pizza place in decline. After a bit, things got serious. I would see undercover police sitting at the end of my street in my way home from school nearly every day. They weren't very incognito, but neither were the pizza place owners."
"Eventually though, things came crashing down. A whole bunch of cops and restaurant owners were taken to jail in the largest cheese bust the town has ever known."
"That's right. Cheese."
"The price of cheese in Canada is ridiculous, so a few members of the police department decided to use their abilities to smuggle it across the border."
"They would go across, buy all the cheap, good quality stuff they could get, then use their badge to get back across, as the border patrol and cops all know eachother, so the chance of them paying duty was 0%."
"Anyways, that was the big scandal in the town. You can probably look it up if you search for cheese smugglers, or cheese scandal."
Zebras on the Run
"A group of zebras escaped a local, legal habitat and have been roaming the suburbs. It’s been weeks and they still haven’t been caught."
While most people think of small towns as boring places where nothing ever happens, they're often the place where the weirdest and most tragic stuff happens.
The rest of the world may just never hear about it.
"How does someone so sexy be so damn repulsive, babe?" is one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite criminally underrated TV shows, Star. It's from the song Ain't About What You Got (a song which was originally for Ariana Grande, so it's got some vocal leaps) - which basically is the soundtrack to this article.
(Honestly, since Brittany O'Grady is having a moment right now, I'm hoping people will go back and watch. It's got a convoluted plot/dope soundtrack combo, Queen Latifah, multiple murders, some of the strongest hoop earring game ever put on screen and a series ending that made me want to flip tables. It was like Sopranos but with Black & Brown people and the music industry.)
Reddit user rock4lite asked:
Now listen, I'm not gonna tell you to go grab a notebook or the voice note app on your phone because you're about to get some mind-blowing new knowledge.
Most of this boils down to Wheaton's Law.
"Meme Level Advice"Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
"People do not understand how much basic hygiene can make a difference."
"I've been told by incels on this site that 'brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes that fit, and having good posture is meme level advice and none of that matters.' "
"Well, let me tell you that the folks that actually get in my pants don't think that's meme-level advice. Basics, like clothes that fit and non-stinky breath, can go so far in making anybody way more attractive and approachable!" - LikelyNotABanana
"They consider it meme-level advice because that's what everyone constantly tells them, because they desperately need to do it. If they didn't keep brushing it off dismissively people probably wouldn't say it so often."
"If you ask someone for dating advice and they even mention these things, you absolutely need to do them. I have NEVER heard that said to anyone except to gently suggest they need to wash their ass and not dress like a slob."
"If their argument is 'i dId tHoSe tHiNgS bUt i sTiLl cAnT gEt a dAtE,' they're deliberately ignoring the fact that those things are the bare minimum and that they will still need to put in effort beyond that. Dating advice goes into far more detail elsewhere. No one is even pretending that basic hygiene is a silver bullet to getting laid."
"If someone's dating advice to you starts there, it's because YOU need to start there." - xxpen15mightierxx
Let People TalkDeep Breath Sigh GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Speaking over me or others, it's not hard to be polite" - n3rd365
"The men of my boyfriend's family all do this constantly."
"I'm not sure it's possible to speak an entire sentence while having dinner with them. It's so discouraging."
"I've always felt very bad for his mother, being the only woman, and never being heard by her own sons/husband." - assortedolives
"I came here to say this. Speaking loud in general is unattractive to me - then when it's OVER someone else, it makes it so much worse." - SunyBunny420
"This is huge for me. I met my current boo because my date brought him along."
"Date kept speaking over his friend and me. The friend was a good listener and great conversationalist. I ditched my date for his friend and we've been together 3+ years." - karmabuchamama
Ex FactorSeason 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
"When someone seems to only have 'crazy exes' ... you should run away before the sentence is over." - lurkinarick
"Honestly, bashing multiple exes at any time (there should be zero bashing for the first several dates because honestly idk you well enough & will just assume you're a dude who plays victim 24/7)."
"Once I've gotten to know you better it's okay to open up about a bad relationship or two- but frankly you should be able to not get overly emotional about it (like don't resort to name-calling or mean-spiritedness) or else I'm gonna assume you have not dealt with the fallout."
"I never trust a guy who acts like he's a 'crazy magnet.' Dude, you're the common denominator here, not them." - Crankylosaurus
"A guy once said 'you can't polish a turd' about his ex/kid's mom during a pre-date video chat. I was so put off that I cancelled the date almost immediately after." - science_v_romance
Cruel Is Not CoolRhony GIFGiphy
"Being mean to appear cool." - azcntn
"I know this dude who is like a solid ten in all departments. I constantly joke that he's gonna steal my man, my mom, and the f*cking cats too."
"But the other day he was sharing his rebound stories and kept talking about he was gonna 'break hearts' and 'ruin her.' "
"I was like...bro eeeeew never let a woman hear you say that. You just turned into a sack of potatoes!" - RunanD
Pinnochiodisney classic GIFGiphy
"I remember I dated someone who would just lie to make himself sound cool."
"I remember I realized it when his coworker was telling a hilarious story that I thought happened to my boyfriend. I instantly had this pit in my stomach. Biggest turn off." - makopinktaco
"There's nothing worse. Especially when there's a certain crowd or situation that brings it out. Like chill bro it's not a competition." - Coyote__Jones
"Yes. There was man I thought I was the most solid and reliable and hot as f*ck dude I'd ever met…I found out he'd been lying to me for a long time and it didn't take long for me to be turned off by him."
"Now I see his face and where I used to get all bothered (in a good way) I now just am annoyed and the word 'Coward' flashes across my brain."
"he knew lying was the only way I'd even meet him for coffee to date him. Had he been honest at first I'd never had met him for coffee, much less integrate him into my life, have each other's kids become family to one another, etc."
"He could've chosen to be honest after the initial meeting, too. Instead, he chose continually to omit info, and then as we got to know each other he had to lie more and more to keep me in the dark and maintain his original lie, and then he started lying to to cover other things up (things that were different than the initial lie but rooted in the same kind of bad behavior he consistently engages in.)"
"And then when our conversations about our histories and exes got to a point where he clearly needed to be honest and there was no more hiding to be done, he would suddenly go cold shoulder and stop being supportive of me. Eventually he resorted to gaslighting and subtle psychological abuse in order to make me shut up and not ask him questions, and so he could just keep seeing and flirting with his exes behind my back off and on."
"Nope. Never again." - Logical_Director_280
Table Mannersthe lion king simba GIFGiphy
"I remember a date I had with a guy almost 25 years ago."
"I remember it because we went out to eat at a local pizza restaurant. In the time it took me to eat half a slice, he had vacuumed up the rest of the pie which included loud, open-mouth chewing and belching."
"Chunks of food landed on his shirt. There were snuffling sounds as he shoved food down his maw. I don't remember anything else about that night but his disgusting method of eating. Total deal killer."
"I saw one of our mutual friends last year and she mentioned him. She told me he was heartbroken I never went out with him again and took it really hard at the time."
"I wasn't mean or anything and I never knew he felt so strongly about me. Absolutely no clue."
"But if that was the case, then that means he was probably on his best behavior that night. I can't imagine what worse manners might have come out if I'd seen him again." - DemonaDrache
"Friend of mine went on a date with a bloke in Uni who ordered pulled pork, and ate it like he'd not been fed in months. The moment my friend realized it wasn't going to work was when the guy looked up at him, and he had a smear of BBQ sauce on his forehead like Simba in the Lion King." - TheeAJPowell
Alpha AwfulnessSchitts Creek Ok GIF by CBCGiphy
"Anything related to "alpha male" bull."
"If you tell me you're an 'alpha male' I will assume you have no personality, low self-esteem, are rude, abrasive, self-involved, and terrible in bed." - WrongRedditKronk
"I once had a dude I was actually kind of interested in refer to himself as an "apex sexual predator." I was no longer interested." - newyne
"Last week, I finally mustered up the courage to strike up a conversation with my gym crush after months of glances and smiles."
"He shared his Instagram, which was 'alphamale(his name).' Got over the crush so fast, there was some head-rush." - Biaatchandahalf
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"Talking about how hot they used to be like this coworker of mine does."
" 'I used to bike 10 miles a day, do 200 pushups in one go, and I even used to have that V cut, you know...down there.' "
"I'm just trying to send this email, Doug. Please leave me alone." - After-Collar-4582
"This is hilarious."
" 'So I'm not hot but I used to be which means I stopped putting work into myself and you should find that attractive.' "
"WHAT????" - refrainsfrompartakin
"Oh my god, people bragging about how fit they used to be is so obnoxious. Like cool, I used to have breakfast but I ate it." - rileytrodd
"A guy I went to college with would tell anyone who'd listen that he was a swimmer in high school and kept a close up photo of his abs on his phone."
"I can't tell you the number of times I've said, 'Yeah, you've already shown me that photo. Good for you.' " - Justaregularderp
Break Stuff!destroy that 70s show GIF by LaffGiphy
'Being destructive particularly when other dudes or other people are near by. Breaking things on purpose, hitting things that shouldn't be hit like walls or windows or destroying other people's art/property."
"It doesn't make you cool or strong it makes you a wasteful jerk I won't invite back into my life ever again."
"Mostly this came from stories from friends about their friends, stuff I've seen online and personal experiences with my brother."
"I was the only girl in a group of 5 guys when I was like 8 or 9 and all of them were super destructive when they all got together. Otherwise they were great."
"I had a crush on one of them but he was being destructive (I don't remember what he broke) and I quit liking him."
"Also my ex boyfriend's 'friend' destroyed a lot of his stuff, and he'd let him. Including a painting I made my ex for his 16th birthday."
"I was really proud of it and if he didn't want it he could have sent it back." - LessEnthusiasmPlz
Long story short, just calm down, relax, and be cool.
I believe in y'all!
Sixth sense, hunch, spidey senses tingling, or gut feeling: no matter what you call it, we all have had that feeling at one point or another. Not everyone is as in tune with that feeling as some, but when we have that feeling it's important to listen to it. It could be life or death.
Science tells us that there's actual physical feelings associated with the gut feeling due to our gut-brain connection. Signals from our brain can actually cause intestinal signals to bubble up. It can come in a moments notice. Sometimes feeling a little like anxiety or even "hearing" a voice in your head telling you something might be off.
"Research links these flashes of intuition to certain brain processes, such as evaluating and decoding emotional and other nonverbal cues."
We might need to listen to our gut specifically to protect ourselves. It's that intuitive knowledge that keeps humanity alive for centuries.
Antonia Hock, global head of The Ritz-Carlton Leadership Center said:
"Instinct is a powerful data point that can be a treasure trove of untapped generational knowledge in decision making."
Redditors shared their life-saving moments when they listened to their gut and trusted it.
Redditor TheGaySussyBaka asked:
"What's a gut feeling that saved yours or someone else's life?"
Intuition could save a life. Let's read some true stories about gut feelings that made all the difference.
It was worth being late to the party.
"Years ago, my wife and I were driving on the expressway that was under major construction. Traffic had slowed quite a bit and I saw a plume of smoke ahead. As we drew closer, I could see it was the beginning of a Carbeque, but the driver was still in the vehicle."
"I did a death defying move to cross multiple lanes of traffic to pull over, despite my wife's protests about being late to the event we were headed to."
"I approached the car, which was just starting to produce visible fire from the wheel wells and opened the door to the car. The guy was conscious, but in obvious shock and was unresponsive. I had to reach in to unbuckle him and pull him out of the car. Within seconds of me getting him out, the driver's compartment was completely engulfed in flames."
"In that moment, that's what your wife was thinking about?"
"I don't think she had malicious intent. She's just nuts about being everywhere 5 minutes early. She assumed the guy would get out of the car and all would be fine. I didn't get that feeling."
"Tipsy" driving is still drunk driving.
"Do not get into a car with someone who says 'they are just a little tipsy.'"
"The guy who was trying to convince us that he 'was totally fine to drive' didn't die that night but he did have to spend a two years learning to walk again."
"My story isn't as bad as that but I'm pretty sure I saved a friend from getting arrested for drunk driving. She'd been hanging out at my fraternity and had at least a couple drinks. She said she was going to drive to the bar, but I told her I wasn't going to let her and would find someone to drive her. But everybody else had been drinking. I hadn't, but I also didn't have a driver's license at the time (not for nefarious reasons, I just didn't get one until I graduated college)."
"Refusing to let her drive, I told her I would. She got in next to me and even though I hadn't driven in awhile, I drove slowly to the bar. After I pulled in to the spot, I finally noticed that there had been a cop right behind us. Luckily he drove off. But the cops in our college town were notorious jerks and even if she had been below the legal limit, she probably would have been arrested. But she was fine and I drove her back to her apartment after we were done."
"Also later found out that the car I was driving wasn't even hers - it belonged to her sorority sister. So there's a good chance I prevented her a) from getting arrested, b) getting into a bad accident, c) damaging her sorority sister's car or d) all of the above."
"You're really burying the good part."
"You prevented her from possible troubles by driving a stolen car without a license right in front of a cop."
Listen to your parental gut feeling.
"My son has leukemia and is on chemotherapy. He was just...off. Looked paler than usual and something just felt odd. Turns out chemo had obliterated his blood so much it might as well have been water and he would have died within days. Two blood transfusions, five days hospital and two weeks off chemotherapy and he was on the mend."
"I went into traumatic shock and the one thing that pulled me out was a debrief with my doctor, who told me I had just saved my child's life with my maternal instinct and never doubt it. Fast forward a few months and he got an infection and that same odd feeling woke me up. He spent a week in hospital that time."
"Parental instinct is there for a reason. Don't doubt it. When you feel it, it's not like feeling a concern or worry that something might be wrong... it's a deep primal knowing."
"My wife had the same thing happen with our 3rd kid. 3 days old. Something was off for her. She had a feeling, called the pediatrician and tested his blood sugar with her kit since she was a gestational diabetic. It was in the basement. Like the oh f**k basement. Verge of coma basement. Doc had us call 9-11 and they would have life-flighted him to a bigger hospital had the weather not sucked a**. Spent 9 days in the NICU. Now he's a wild 5-year-old boy. She 100% saved his life."
"When I worked in peds, this was the mantra among the nursing staff. If mom (or dad) thinks something is wrong, something is wrong! You know your kid better than anyone else in the world."
"This is so true! When I had appendicitis, my doctor tried to send me home saying it was the flu. If my mom hadn't insisted something was seriously wrong, I might be dead. It was hours from rupturing when they removed it."
A near miss.
"Scenario- driving myself and 2 coworkers back from lunch. Didn't immediately go when my light was green as I got this weird knot in my stomach like something was gonna go down. Car next to me went forward and got slammed into a brick building and post by a speeding car that went thru his red. Some debris rained on my car but basically was left unscathed. Shook but unscathed."
"My friends make fun of me for this, bc the 'light is green lol' but I've been involved in that type of accident, and am only alive because my dad, who was driving saw it in time to slam the gas and make them only hit the bed of the truck."
The man in the truck.
"This is before cell phones (think beepers). I went out one night and was meeting my bestie half way between my house and hers. I noticed this truck drive by me and he slowed down to a crawl. Another car was coming so he kept going. My spidey senses were triggered though. I saw my best friend and I grabbed her and pulled her into an old shed at an abandoned house. I shut the door quick and told her to be quiet. There was a space so we were able to see this truck coming."
"She is whispering rapidly to me asking what is happening. I told her that I had seen that guy a few minutes before and he made me nervous. He slowly crept down the street, pulled over and got out with a flashlight. That's when we saw the gun. The most terrifying thing, it was only moments, but felt like hours. He finally took off, but I was hesitant to leave yet. We stayed there for about 15-20 minutes and he came back 4 or 5 times."
"Finally we heard our names being called, her older brother and his best friend had come looking because it typically takes 10 minutes to get from my house to hers. I am convinced that she and I would both be dead if it wasn't for that shed and me trusting my spidey senses."
Caught it just in time.
"Was hanging out with my brother who was visiting from a few hours away. We went to one of his highschool friends house to shoot the sh*t."
"My brother's friend had a kid who was literally bouncing off the walls. After one bounce I heard a little scrape behind me. I looked behind me to see the 8 point deer head mounted to the wall just in time for another bounce."
"I snatched that head out of the air just about 3 inches from giving the kid 4 stab wounds to the skull."
"I was at a party my house was hosting back in the day. We had a back area that had a door leading to the backyard, the door swung inwards. Someone was bent over putting their shoe on and I heard someone coming up the stairs to come in. As soon as the handle started turning, I put my hand over the door to stop it coming in. The person putting on their shoe was so shocked because no one else noticed the door opening and their head was right near the handle. Maybe not exactly saving a life, but a solid concussion at least."
"Peacefully riding my motorcycle."
"'I don't think that guy is going to stop for that stop sign. I'll slow down just a little bit so he'd miss me if he didnt.'"
"Guy flys through intersection at 100km/h."
"'God wanted me to live this day, I see.'"
There are a few things you'll need to do to learn how to trust your gut. Part of it is recognizing when your gut is trying to send you signals. Body awareness, emotional awareness and cognitive processing is something that can happen intuitively, but we have to know how to recognize it.
Pay attention to when it is intrinsically emotional or when it might be clouded by bias. Know the difference so you can make choices that make the most sense for the situation.
And practice! Find ways to listen to your body and emotions and put the skills to the test.