They're called exes for a reason. Before you think about taking your ex back, take a second to reflect on all of the reasons why you left them in the first place. Everything happens for a reason, and for these Redditors, the reasons are abundantly clear.
Kindaherekindanot asked: Why is your ex an ex?
50. A complete lack of empathy doesn't make for a good partner.
"I was in the emergency room with kidney stones (didn't know it was kidney stones at the time, just knew I was in the most pain I'd ever been in). She got pissed because "you're not paying attention to me." Seriously, I'm in an emergency room hooked up to an IV with pain killers flowing through me, at this point I'm half conscious 'cause of the morphine, and apparently I'm a piece of s**t for not paying attention to her.
It came to a head when I asked her to get a nurse because something didn't feel right (they had gave me something I was allergic to and I was starting to have an allergic reaction). She said, "Fine, I'll just be your babysitter." At that point I just told her to go home, that her negativity was making me feel worse. She threw a fit, and left in a rage.
Next day I didn't even call her for a ride back home when I got out of the hospital, I called my aunt and had her drive me home. The moment I got home I started packing. If you have to be the center of attention and can't feel any empathy whatsoever while I'm in the goddamn emergency room, you're a garbage human I don't want anything to do with."
49. How about no.Giphy
"Been married 18 years, so my ex was an ex from about 23 years ago.
Reason he's my ex? Got my "friend" preggers, when I confronted him he suggested we stay together and have threesomes. Yeah... Nope."
48. Holy crap.
When I was nearly robbed. Before the story came out she said damn I didn't know that your great great grandparents medals were stolen. She hired two guys to rob me 'cause I told her my brother was having an serious asthma attack and I'll be at the hospital. She wanted to show me that she found the medals."
47. Was it ever fun though?
"Someone I dated for a month or two. Started talking about marriage and having kids after the third or fourth date. Would call me in the middle of the night because she needed help with something that any fully functional adult should be able to do by themselves, i.e. stuff like lifting a 10 lbs object from the floor and placing it on a counter. Finally broke it off when she told me I'm gonna have to cut any and all ties to one of my best friends because I'm not allowed to talk to other girls now that we're dating.
She ended up stalking me for like six months, threatened to a) kill me in my sleep or b) walk up to the police and tell them I had assaulted her (Glad she typed that out in detail so I could just easily screencap everything in case I ever needed the evidence), called me at 4 AM multiple times after getting faced at a bar and when I'd switch my phone off, she'd send me 80+ messages that usually evolved from trying to guilt trip me to take her back into borderline psychotic ranting and empty threats. She eventually screwed some old dude, got an STD, and claimed it was my fault because I had forced her to do that by not wanting to be with her.
So that was fun while it lasted."
46. DEAL. BREAKER.Giphy
"Because he wouldn't shut up and talked all the way through Monty Python's The Meaning of Life."
45. .....sneeze fetish?
"He had a sneeze fetish that he obsessed unhealthily over. In my sleep he'd ball up cat hair and try to put it into my nose. I didn't know he was doing this to me until I had a nasty sinus infection and had my sinus flooded out at urgent care. Out came small balls of cat hair.
The final straw was cheating on me with a girl who had a bigger nose than me. She was his ex and he just couldn't get over that nose despite the fact she was literally psychotic.
They were perfect for each other. Not my loss. But my mistake ever trying to be tolerant and understanding of him.
Makes great material for the biography I'll never write."
44. Absolutely not.
"He threatened suicide every few weeks."
He constantly performed "tests" on me to see if I loved him enough or that I could be trusted. I always failed them.
He would demand I stay up on the phone almost every night until 1am or later listening, not TALKING, to him. I would be expected to stay awake and listen to his rambling anecdotes for hours silently. If I spoke, I'd make him lose his train of thought.
If I fell asleep, I got screamed at or a day of the cold shoulder.
These are just a few examples.
I was a young teenager who got sucked into a cycle of psychological abuse for a few years.
I'm fine now for the most part."
43. A heartbreaker AND a racist.
"He thought people finding out he was dating an Asian-American would be embarrassing.
So bullet dodged but I wish I could say I was the one who decided that."
42. The dog seals the deal for this break-up.Giphy
"He had his mom texted me to break up with me just before a big vacation we were going to take together. We were both adults.
Also his dog was extremely aggressive towards me (but I would be too if I hadn't been walked in two weeks)."
41. Now was it blood, or was it ketchup?
"She stabbed me during an argument about whether ketchup should be kept in the fridge or the pantry."
40. Good for this person for getting help.
"He broke up with me for a reason that didn't make sense.
8 months later I realized it was because I was getting help for my depression and becoming more independent and not letting him control me. He didn't like the fact that he didn't own me anymore and having me as a play toy wasn't fun for him anymore.
Months after we broke up was when I realized he had been emotionally and verbally abusing me for years."
39. Bullet dodged, indeed.
"Because he wanted to start selling drugs to his friends.
We've been living together for maybe 3 years, and I didn't agree to this idea, at all. But the thing is, his business started to grow way too fast, and I got tired. So tired that one day, after I saw the stash, I decided I wanted to live on my own. And he dumped me for that, but I only heard the big new the day after, when he invited his ex over at our apartment while I was working. OH WELL, big bullet dodged, because a week after I left, he got busted and now has a criminal record.
But hey, I'm finally over with these years of toxicity. And I got to keep the doggo, and this big old boi is the love of my life, no doubt."
38. The whole package.Giphy
"Found out I really didn't know him until we married and moved in together
- Was a mama's boy.
- Told me "you're my wife, you do what I tell you".
- Couldn't make decisions on anything.
- Couldn't keep a job.
- All talk no action when it came to work.
- Criticized me constantly, especially in front of others.
- Sex was bad."
37. An uncommon problem to have.
"Because his penis was too big!
No joke! Legit, too big. It hurt, way too much. I tried to bear it for a while hoping it didn't get better. I started avoiding spending time with him so I could avoid sex. Realized that wasn't fair and broke it off. Weirdest breakup ever, but we're still good friends. Kind of a pro and con situation for him."
36. There is so much wrong with this.
"Cheated on me, then blamed the guys death on me (he died in a motorcycle crash at speeds 200+km/h) he was at her place and I surprised her by showing up unexpectedly and he left out the back door.
Accused me of having incestuous relationship with my mother and sister when I would choose to spend time with them instead of her.
She also was physically and emotionally abusive. Just an all around horrible woman that broke me and gave me long lasting trust issues.
This was almost 12 years ago now, and the affects are still present, even after therapy. She was my first love I guess, she was the first sexual partner, looking back at it I should have listened to her father when he said I should run.
35. OKCupid Kills.
My friend sent me a screenshot of the secret OKCupid profile saying he was looking for flings. I truly feel blessed knowing my friends are so solidly in my corner. pm_me_cool_maps
34. Time to Make a Change.Giphy
Said she wanted a change.... coincidentally at the same time that I finished paying for her college. CarlosAVP
I have a friend this happened to, twice (the same guy). Just sad. Plinthastic
33. So Far Away....
Neither of us wanted to relocate coasts. It's boring but true. I wish her the best in life. She was awesome. TNinLosAngeles
This happened to me. We had a great relationship but I was moving to England and he didn't want to come — just not part of his plan. It was mutual and I still love him as a human, and we still talk. verymerry19
32. Asexually Yours....
We dated for about 6 years, and I thought things were going quite well. When we started dating, she thought she was asexual and so sex wasn't really a main focus in our relationship, which wasn't a dealbreaker for me so I rolled with it.
About a month or two before we broke up, I could feel some distance being forged between us. At first I chalked it up to her being busy with a new job and family obligations - but more and more she would reference one of her coworkers. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, but I trusted her completely, so I didn't tell her not to talk to him or anything, and she reassured me that there was nothing going on between them.
Well, one night we're talking over messenger and our conversation took a pretty serious turn where she basically admitted to me that she didn't think she was as asexual as she thought she was, and that she didn't find me appealing in that way at all. It devastated me, but I ultimately accepted it. Naturally, I asked if her coworker had any role in her decision to breakup, which she was adamant that he didn't.
Not even two weeks later, I find out that the two of them started dating, which really made me go into a deep depression. I'm happy to say that it's been a little over a year since then, and I've lost over 130 pounds (and am finally at a healthy weight for the first time in my adult life), my social life is the best it's ever been, I got my degree, and have an excellent new job. At one point I thought my life was over, and in some regards, I was right - my life as I had known it was over - but my new life is so much better. JustAverageTemp
31. Cheater. Cheater.
4 years never cheated. She cheated twice. Nobody's perfect excuse, I have problems too.
I'd work all day to pay bills, she brought a homeless guy home. Let him live in our house while I worked without my knowing. Ate my food, played my games, banged my lady while I paid for it all.
Months later attempt to rekindle the flame, goes sour. A week later "Im pregnant" text. lots of long nights and deep thinking about life. Accept that i must be a father to my child. Another week passes "Its not actually your's it's (homeless guys). I just thought you would be a good dad."
Bye Felicia. jnmwr
30. Jurassic Beliefs.Giphy
She didn't believe in dinosaurs. moreberriesthanyou
"Stop telling people I don't believe dinosaurs exist, because I wouldn't wear the stupid t-rex costume in the bedroom!" Pope_Beenadick
She hit me with a car. Yeah it's been a few years. Life moves on :) greyz3n
28. The Depressed.
You can't always stick two severely mentally ill people in a relationship and expect it to work out great.
Edit: Thanks everyone. My ex is not a bad person, just horribly depressed. i-ride-dragons
27. Come to the Cabaret....
She didn't want to commit, but she didn't want to be alone. She liked to pretend that she didn't need my company, and that life was a cabaret, but she did, and it really wasn't for her. Something in her was afraid of getting too close. I just got tired of it. Tall_Mickey
26. Just There.
I was just someone convenient for her. We were coworkers.
We used to talk a lot and clicked when it came to sense of humor and goofing around. To quickly became good friends and then started dating. I was giving her genuine affection without an ulterior motive. Her family constantly put her down and and was two-faced when it came to being nice. I was the counter to that. I was the escape.
I finished my degree and moved with her four hours away. It was close enough to visit if we wanted but too far for her family to drop by unannounced. We finally had a calm life away from the stress and strife that her family caused.
Then after she had her calm life she no longer needed her escape and couldn't ignore the fact that she never actually wanted me as a person. She only wanted what I represented; what I no longer needed to provide. So she started cheating on me with someone who she was actually attracted to behind my back and his wife's back. Seven years, gone. Zediac
25. We're Not It.
He wanted to date someone exactly like him, and I couldn't be that person. He made me feel guilty for not enjoying everything he enjoyed. If he hadn't ended things, I was going to. We just weren't compatible. M0u53trap
24. Back Home.
Diagnosed with ADHD, early signs of dementia, hypothyroidism and polycistic ovarian syndrome. She had to go back to her country to focus on her treatment and therapy, but we still talk to each other sometimes. Sucks cause she was the best person I've ever met. podente
23. Forever Ex.
This was the worst one. We were in a long distance relationship. It wasn't working out for him though so he broke up with me. We still kept daily contact however. When he came back to visit (my city is his home), he told me that he missed me and so we hung out the entire week he was there, had sex and all that. I was pretty sure we were going to make it work and get back together (that's what I was hoping) Turns out, when he went back to his other country, I found out by luck that he was actually in a relationship with another girl. So yeah... he cheated on her with me...
The best part? This was a girl that I had some red flags up on when we were still together and he was actually dating her while we were still together. Yup... Felt like a complete idiot and that's how he became my ex forever. RiceCrispix
22. Bye Girl.
Faked a pregnancy when I tried to break up.
Cheated (multiple times).
My hands started sweating and my heart was racing when I saw pictures of her recently. This happened over 2 years ago. This tiny girl terrifies me. hatethiscity
He cheated on me. His excuse was "It wasn't anything sexual. I just wanted to show her my penis then she grabbed it and put it in." His words not mine. UnderMyUmbreon
20. Sucker Punch.
My girlfriend was verbally abusive on a regular basis. She would also get physically abusive when she drank too much. She wasn't really strong enough to hurt me seriously, but when the person you love starts trying to suckerpunch you it is really frustrating. I still miss her a lot.
Some days she was wonderful and the sweetest person ever. Others she was bitter, angry, and would do anything to try to get a reaction out of me by insulting me. Started to become my insecure high school self after a while and had to give up.
She dealt with a lot of really horrible abuse in her past and I didn't want to ever be the next abuser because of my own anger and frustration so I had to let her go. Still miss her. Still love her. Wish things had been different. TimsTantalizinTicTac
19. Toxic Cover.
I realized it was a toxic relationship when he got mad at me for not wearing makeup. luna-petunia
I should have realized it was a toxic relationship when he yelled at me until I cried for wearing makeup. rockyraccoon13
Well, she passed away so I guess she is my ex now. I still love her. _techniker
My boyfriend passed away 11 years ago now. I never considered him my ex, he's just my late boyfriend. I still miss him. Anilxe
My ex is an ex because he was manipulative and emotionally abusive.... he also hated my friends and family. He tried telling me that they were toxic for me so I could never see them. Queen_Ellie
16. A Little Weight.
Told me he was afraid I'd gain a lot of weight and "wanted to feel he could have sex any time he wanted." Guess you can't have spontaneous sex with a woman who's a little overweight. Jokes on him - I lost weight and he gained weight. VainNightwish
15. You say it's you?
She got sick of being taken for granted, and dealing with the effects of my insecurities. xmittsx87
Hi, are you my ex? You still owe me $70. realhorrorsh0w
14. She Crazy.Giphy
Because he was a self centered, emotionally abusive, alcoholic, manipulative anchor of a human being. He destroyed the house I paid for, told me no one else would ever love me, and made everything my fault.
Also he physically abused my dog.
Edit: I'm sorry for everyone else who also had to go through an ex behaving this way. No pupper deserves that. Pupper tax awfulmcnofilter
13. Secrets and Lies....
- She was in the closet so for 4 years I was her dirty little secret
- Craved attention and agreed to have her coworkers set her up on a blind date with some dude without even talking to me about it (wtf?)
- Demanded I leave my career and job in another country and go home, stay in her condo and freelance instead while she continues her career as a lawyer
- Harassed the person I casually dated after her
- Got really mad at me because I moved on and she chose to stay miserable
Haven't had any communication with her for almost a decade now after I finally blocked her all those years ago. I'm happily married for 6 years now to an amazing woman, thank god. Tourtoise
12. Just 17.
i knew him for about 3 months and he wanted to know when he could ask my dad to marry me (he thought 6 months of dating would be good) and he had our whole life planned out. We were both only 17 at the time. now he just crap talks me on twitter months after we broke up. dgsarah
11. Just Not There.
He was truly a phenomenal person but something just didn't click romantically. I just didn't feel the way I thought I should have felt about him. withered-dreams
I had a good friend in school I had a huuuuge crush on, but he wasn't feeling the chemistry. It hurt, but god, I'm so glad he was up front about it (while still remaining kind) instead of trying to pretend. We're still friends, but I'm with a guy who loves me exactly like I love him, and he found a wonderful woman who he has oodles of chemistry with, and we're both so much better for it. Reddit
10. Cut the Ties.
Not really an ex but someone I dated for a month or two. Started talking about marriage and having kids after the third or fourth date. Would call me in the middle of the night because she needed help with something that any fully functional adult should be able to do by themselves, i.e. stuff like lifting a 10 lbs object from the floor and placing it on a counter. Finally broke it off when she told me I'm gonna have to cut any and all ties to one of my best friends because I'm not allowed to talk to other girls now that we're dating.
She ended up stalking me for like six months, threatened to a) kill me in my sleep or b) walk up to the police and tell them I had raped her (Glad she typed that out in detail so I could just easily screencap everything in case I ever needed the evidence), called me at 4 AM multiple times after getting faced at a bar and when I'd switch my phone off, she'd send me 80+ messages that usually evolved from trying to guilt trip me to take her back into borderline psychotic ranting and empty threats. She eventually screwed some old dude, got an STD, and claimed it was my fault because I had forced her to do that by not wanting to be with her. So that was fun while it lasted.
9. This Again?
He didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about him. And he didn't care about how I felt during sex.
ETA: Surprised that this comment blew up! Wanted to clarify that I am a woman and that the main sex issue was that I need time to work up to comfortably putting his manly bit into my lady bits. I did communicate this to him and we had what I thought was very satisfying sex several times after that, despite him having a bit of attitude of "this again?"
Whenever I wasn't immediately ready to be jackhammered after a minute of making out. He told me in the aftermath of our relationship that he thought our physical relationship was completely unenjoyable. There were other things too that he did that made it clear to me that he didn't care how I felt during sex like often wanting oral but never giving it and needing "reminders" to put on a condom despite the fact that I wasn't on birth control for part of the relationship. applebore12
According to her, she just "lost" her feelings for me. It's been 6 years and I still dream of her. mcmanybucks
Oof I had one like that. It's hard and there is no closure to be had. You just have to realize the things you wished they were are out there in someone else. Demibolt
7. So Petty.
He punched me in the face after a petty argument.
Firstly, it doesn't matter what the argument was about. You don't abuse your partner.
Secondly, I'm a guy too. Violence amongst gay couples is a silent issue that's rarely ever talked about and in my experience with friends it can be pretty damn ugly too.
Thirdly, I'm not a violent person. However he did more than punch me after it when following me home and I hit him when he went to strangle me. It did nothing though as I'm soft as hell.
Fourthly, I am okay thank you.
Love and light ❤ -Glitter-Herpes-
6. Power of 2....
Because we were two different people in two different places in our life. Also bc she had a nasty habit of banging my friends, but that's besides the point. MeattloafKitten
5. A Couple of Things.
It was mutual after a couple big discussions.
I wanted to travel, she didn't.
I don't want to have children, and she did.
I didn't want her screwing her ex, but she did.
Gotta decide on what your dealbreakers are, I guess. The_Town_of_Canada
4. Getting Help.
Because I started using and she cheated.
EDIT: thanks for your support everyone, I know an ex junkie talking about a break up isn't the funniest thing to listen to.
EDIT 2: thanks for the 2 gold and platinum kind strangers. EddieVedder_ismydad
He ended up being crazier than I initially wanted to believe. Years of stalking after our break-up really did turn me into a paranoid freak. But in time I am doing a lot better. Lesson learned. guyhabit
2. Joy Lost.
Because I could predict the entirety of the rest of my life and I didn't like it.
I would have taken over the family bakery and spent every day waking up at 3 AM to make donuts.
9 AM would be the start time for sausages.
Leave the bakery @ 4 PM. Deposit the daily sales before the bank closes.
Drive home and eat the unsold sausages for dinner.
Watch TV for 1.5 hours before falling asleep in a chair.
Wake up at 3 AM.
There was no joy in her father's eyes.
Joy left years ago. ambermage
1. Best Wishes....Giphy
An 8-year lasagna of me being noticeably depressed, me not making continuous romantic gestures, a long-term sense of complacency on both our parts and both of us gravitating towards opposite directions in life.
I dated her for almost a decade (I'm 25), and our time together made me a better person. I'm grateful for the time we shared and don't regret it, but I've made my peace and spent nearly 2 years swallowing that bitter, gargantuan pill.
I wish her the best and view her in warm regard, but I don't want to be her friend or even cross paths with her ever again. Getting over the breakup had to be the hardest thing I've ever done, and picking that scab just to keep up the meaningless platitude of "We can still be friends" would be a waste of both of our time. garrettgravley
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
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Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes, it becomes extremely clear that it's time to leave.
That goes for short term situations like a bizarre social moment, or longer term commitments like work or relationships.
Whatever the context, there is typically a tipping point moment when all the variables appear to suggest things have become unsafe, wildly uncomfortable, or maybe even a tad illegal.
It's those moments when all you can think about is the door.
Redditor Thotus_Maximus asked:
"What was your biggest 'I'm out' moment?"
Many people talked about the times they went to parties that turned out to be very different from what they had in mind.
"Went to a friend of a friend's 35th birthday party. There were like 3 people there when we showed up. Birthday boy says everyone's in the basement. Okay cool."
"We go down to the basement. Someone's DJing, they've got cool lighting, there's like 30 people dancing. After a minute or 2 we realize everyone in the basement is like 13. Nope Nope Nope."
THAT Kinda Party
"Lived in a hotel for a while when I was 18-19. One day a bunch of people I've met at the pool wanted to go up to this dudes room and party. I thought we were gonna drink, smoke, and have a conversation, but that's not how it went."
"While everyone went up there, I had to go back to my room and change clothes. When I finally went to join them, I walked in and saw this dude injecting hard drugs. I sh** you not, this dude turned completely blue and dropped to the ground like a rock. When I saw that, I just dipped."
"He got picked up by an ambulance and survived. When I saw him in the elevator the next day, he seemed like a completely different person. Seein' stuff like that (that wasn't my first time witnessing od's), I think kept me away from the drugs that can kill you easily."
The Great Escape
"I was at a party when I was a teen. Cops turned up. I was stuck upstairs. But there was a balcony and underneath a pool. And beyond the pool a gate leading to an alley."
"So I jumped in the pool."
"But when I resurfaced there were already two cops standing there looking at me."
Other Redditors recalled the times they encountered strangers that did not appear to have their best interest at heart, to say the least.
"Was approached by someone and we talked about how we went to the same college and I showed him some of my art work, he thought it was pretty cool and offered me an opportunity and wanted to talk more later because I was at work at the time."
"I met up with him and his girlfriend and he told about what he mentioned. As I say there listening, it sounded familiar and BAM! It hit me. It was a pyramid scheme, it had nothing to do with art or any job prospects, I told him I wasn't interested many times in the nicest way possible l, but boy did they look pi**ed."
"I got stuck in an airport overnight as my flight was cancelled due to weather and I was starving because all the stores were closed. Some employee offered to show me where to get food so I followed him."
"He then opened a door to outside in the parking lot and motioned outside. I quickly said 'no thanks' and walked away."
And finally, some talked about when it became very clear that their work situation needed to end, like yesterday.
Quotas Reign Supreme
"I got buried by heavy packages while loading a truck for Fedex. It took 3 people to get me out. I was bloody, bruised, and had trouble lifting my arm."
"My manager came over and chastised me for my package count being too low. Walked out immediately."
Leaving Him a Stressful Day
"I worked in a contact centre several years ago. It was super busy and calls didn't stop coming. For some reason, my stupid boss removed everyone else from the queue for some stupid training, leaving me alone to handle all the calls. I messaged him a few times on Microsoft Teams, asking what was happening with no reply."
"After two hours, I shut down my computer and walked out of the company. I just recently withdrawn my last salary, so no regret whatsoever."
Corruption At Its Finest
"I worked for a blood analysis lab machine company for about 6 months. Hated every minute of it because I was working well over 60 hours a week every week. I wouldn't be leaving some hospitals until after 11pm sometimes. The management would never support the techs, the customer is always right, that BS."
"So one week at during the over the phone team meeting, the manager actually asked on of the younger techs to complete paperwork and submit it. Which is normal, but the manager was having him submit the repair paperwork and schedule the repair when they got around to it. He wanted the tech to pencil whip documentation we submit to the FDA so he could a quarterly bonus."
"Managers who's group hits all the pm's, gets a very nice size check. Had the tech done that and the machine failed before it was serviced, somebody could have died and he might have gone to jail. I left that job the next day."
Out With a Bang
"I walked out of a job two hours into a shift and left them without anyone who could do my job."
"As a parting gift, I threw the manual I'd written in the rubbish and didn't bother removing or giving anyone my passwords to stuff so they couldn't do anything."
Years ago I had a classmate who was a total daredevil... so much so that he would often injure himself. He once drove a bike in the direction of oncoming traffic, just for the hell of it. He got out of that episode unscathed––luckily. By contrast, I prefer keeping all my limbs, and still have them all. I wonder where he is now. Hopefully not too banged up. I did do some stuff unwittingly––like the time I stuck a fork into an electrical socket. I thankfully wasn't shocked too much. I was young and naive.
People told us all about the dangerous things they did when they were younger after Redditor Not-an-Ocelot asked the online community,
"What's the most dangerous thing you did as a kid without realizing?"
"My chore was to wash the floors. I would mix all sorts of chemicals together, not realizing they don't mix. Like bleach and ammonia with other cleaning products."
This is very easy to do––and so dangerous! Thankfully you didn't harm yourself.
"I used to walk..."
"I used to walk on a frozen river when walking home from school. I was about 7 at the time."
Seen too many movies about people stuck under the ice.
"We would sneak up..."
"I used to do parkour. We would sneak up onto the rooftops of condo buildings when they were washing their windows (the staircases leading to the top floor would be unlocked). We would then go roof hopping.
Literal roof hopping like in Grand Theft Auto. We would jump from a 12 storey apartment building's roof to an adjacent 10 storey apartment building's roof, etc."
How are your knees? That's bound to do some damage, no?
"I picked up..."
"I picked up a baby copperhead snake and gave it to my mom as a present when I was 6 or 7."
You must have really hated your mom.
"There was a railway crossing..."
"There was a railway crossing on my walk to school, and the train would often be blocking my path so I would always wait until it stopped moving and then climb on top of it and jump off the other side so I could keep walking and not be late."
"Played inside an old broken refrigerator that was outside….not knowing it could have locked or tipped over."
Yes, it could have! Thankfully it didn't. There's a really frightening scene in The Leftovers involving a character who nearly suffocates in a fridge.
No thank you.
"Like most Florida kids..."
"Like most Florida kids I swam where I shouldn't have and I'm very lucky I didn't get eaten by alligators."
"After seeing videos..."
"Playing with fireworks. After seeing videos of kids blowing their fingers and hands off, I would never let my kids play with them, without lots of supervision."
"We are super lucky..."
"Getting on a boat with my then-boyfriend and not telling our parents where we were going. The boat ended up sinking during a storm and we had life jackets and floated on the ice chest. Only reason we are alive is because a ship that was coming in heard us screaming during the storm and called the coast guard. We were out there for a total of 15 hours and had severe hypothermia. We are super lucky to be alive."
This is pretty terrifying.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
Yes, thankfully, you're alive.
"When I was about..."
"When I was about 9 or 10 a friend and I rode an air mattress down a river. Neither of us knew how to swim and we didn't tell our parents so when we came back cops were looking for us."
Well... these were a read.
If you'll excuse me, I'll stay indoors and wrap myself in bubble wrap. The outside world is scary.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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