Growing up, everyone in my family worked multiple jobs and I spent most of my days in daycares, aftercares, camps, and hanging out with my retired grandfather.
Childhood was fun, but there were a lot of things that got lost along the way in the interests of saving time. So lets just say adulthood hits you pretty hard when you're brilliantly book-smart but have no life skills - can't really cook, have never even heard of credit or budgeting, and have not the foggiest idea how to repair or mend anything.
There just wasn't time to teach me those things. So of course that's where I started with my kids.
One Reddit user asked:
What is something you will teach your kids that your parents didn't teach you?
The next generation will be prepared AF ... for a world that probably won't play by the same rules anymore. So in just a few years we imagine another article just like this detailing all of our shortcomings.
Fail
That failing is fine, you can't be perfect all the time
I'm trying to teach my 8 year old daughter how to lose, and not be a sore loser. She starts crying or pouts whens he loses.
I teach my students this. It's hard to undo the work of "you must always be the best" that inevitable results in tears, anger and guilt, but it's possible.
What Not To Do: Credit
Credit Card Money GIF by HustlersGiphyIf you have a $500 available balance on a credit card and spend $100. You now owe $100. NOT you still have $400 to spend. That sh!tty way of thinking caused me so much trouble in my early twenties.
- audioear
I watched my mom get into trouble with credit cards (not like massive trouble, maybe $10k or so in debt) and vividly remember my dad sitting down with her and making her cut up a bunch of cards. This led me to initially refuse to get a credit card as an adult.
I didn't get one until I graduated college and it was only because I realized building credit was important. I have always paid it off in full every month with a couple exceptions (sometimes I carry a balance for one month around the holidays but it does not accrue interest). When I charge $50 to my card I deduct $50 from my budget as if I had paid in cash. So basically my parents taught me what NOT to do and I reap the benefits of sweet credit card rewards without paying any fees or interest.
Opposite Day
Everything. How to cook. How to maintain a basic hygiene. How to deal with bullies. How life works in general. Whenever my kid struggles I'll think "What would my parents do?" and then do the exact opposite.
Same lmao. My parents are anti-rolemodels.
Budgeting Basic
Basic Budgeting.
Growing up finances of any kind were not talked about in front of us kids. That was a topic for adults only. Now, I'm 29, and am sh*t at managing my money. I'm still learning and definitely getting a lot better than I used to be, but I will teach my future children basic budgeting and money management.
Do they need to know every cent of what is spent in the household? No, not exactly, at least not until they are older (late teens). Age-appropriate earning, saving, and spending will be taught starting at a young age though.
I've been telling my kids how much money "we" have and letting them know how much money I spend on the house, car, pets, school supplies, clothes, whatever since they were mere tots. They know how little we once had and how far we've come. I make them invest in vacations and fun activities so they know the value of money and experiences and so they know that we build a family home together. Now my kids are 9 and 13 and they are pretty good about balancing their books and keeping track of their funds. I also taught them all about taxes and how to avoid giving the government a free loan.
I don't know if this will help them when they're adults, but I hope it's a good foundation. I know my parents didn't tell me anything and I had to figure it all out on my own. To make matters worse, my mother was a banker.
Clean Your Plate
You don't have to finish all of the food on your plate.
Lots of people have grown up with parents telling them they need to finish their plate and if they do they'll get dessert (myself included). That does 3 things:
1.) Forces you to eat more than you are hungry for
2.) Makes dessert too exciting
3.) Makes you too full to eat the very exciting dessert, but you really want it so you force yourself to eat it anyway.
I understand how parents get there, we're always worried our kids aren't eating enough. But ultimately it's a very unhealthy way to approach meals.
- Alexfbus
Emotions
Emotional education. As a man in the United States, no one cared about my emotions or mental state. I want to change that with my kids. I want to teach them about their emotions, how to work with them, why they happen, etc. I still need to learn these things!
That is extremely important, especially for males! Most men I know are so shut off from their own emotions it's unhealthy.
A Pee In The Woods
forest GIFGiphyMom with daughters here. How to pee in the woods without getting it on their clothes.
Sex Isn't Evil
I would teach them that sex isn't the evil thing that Christianity says it is, and that its ok to have sex before marriage, as long as they're careful and use protection, and they don't make their lives about sex.
I say this because my dad still refuses to tell me anything other than sex=evil, gay=satan worshiper, god=good.
Yes! Sex was one of those things we just didn't discuss in my family. As a result, and because my school didn't provide sex education, I was completely ignorant about sex for much longer than I should have been. I had no idea what was going on after I started menstruating or what the different stages of my cycle were, what was normal or abnormal during menstruation, nothing. All I was ever told was that sex=babies, so you better not do it unless you were ready to be a parent.
Everything I know about sex, I learned either from my friends or (much later) from the internet.
- penngi
Previous Work
That a college degree on its own is worthless for a lot of jobs. You really need previous work experience for people to be willing to hire you out of college.
This definitely needs to be taught more to kids these days. I graduated last year, and a few people I know still had the mindset, "Once we graduate, we can just walk into those jobs easily". They thought that as they were university graduates, there would be a job waiting for them upon graduation.
Apart from one of them (who is very well connected), they're now finding out the hard way that a degree alone doesn't guarantee them the job. The people I know who got jobs quickly have had previous job experience, not just in their field but also in places like McDonald's.
Super Stressed
Trying to teach my nine year old how to let sh!t go, and just go with the flow. Kid is so stressed all the time, he has mini panic attacks almost every day. Today, he dropped a pencil, making a loud noise on Zoom, and started crying.
We actually just had him do another eval, because his anxiety has gotten so much worse and he started expressing bad mental thoughts, but the psychiatrist said it's just terrible anxiety, and that everyone is at max right now.
He's been in counseling for a while now (a few years), but it doesn't seem to click. I'm trying to get him out exercising more (makes me less stressed, idk) and working on meditation. His mom has cancer and it's really wreaked havoc on him.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.