Growing up, everyone in my family worked multiple jobs and I spent most of my days in daycares, aftercares, camps, and hanging out with my retired grandfather.
Childhood was fun, but there were a lot of things that got lost along the way in the interests of saving time. So lets just say adulthood hits you pretty hard when you're brilliantly book-smart but have no life skills - can't really cook, have never even heard of credit or budgeting, and have not the foggiest idea how to repair or mend anything.
There just wasn't time to teach me those things. So of course that's where I started with my kids.
One Reddit user asked:
The next generation will be prepared AF ... for a world that probably won't play by the same rules anymore. So in just a few years we imagine another article just like this detailing all of our shortcomings.
That failing is fine, you can't be perfect all the time
I'm trying to teach my 8 year old daughter how to lose, and not be a sore loser. She starts crying or pouts whens he loses.
I teach my students this. It's hard to undo the work of "you must always be the best" that inevitable results in tears, anger and guilt, but it's possible.
What Not To Do: CreditCredit Card Money GIF by HustlersGiphy
If you have a $500 available balance on a credit card and spend $100. You now owe $100. NOT you still have $400 to spend. That sh!tty way of thinking caused me so much trouble in my early twenties.
I watched my mom get into trouble with credit cards (not like massive trouble, maybe $10k or so in debt) and vividly remember my dad sitting down with her and making her cut up a bunch of cards. This led me to initially refuse to get a credit card as an adult.
I didn't get one until I graduated college and it was only because I realized building credit was important. I have always paid it off in full every month with a couple exceptions (sometimes I carry a balance for one month around the holidays but it does not accrue interest). When I charge $50 to my card I deduct $50 from my budget as if I had paid in cash. So basically my parents taught me what NOT to do and I reap the benefits of sweet credit card rewards without paying any fees or interest.
Everything. How to cook. How to maintain a basic hygiene. How to deal with bullies. How life works in general. Whenever my kid struggles I'll think "What would my parents do?" and then do the exact opposite.
Same lmao. My parents are anti-rolemodels.
Growing up finances of any kind were not talked about in front of us kids. That was a topic for adults only. Now, I'm 29, and am sh*t at managing my money. I'm still learning and definitely getting a lot better than I used to be, but I will teach my future children basic budgeting and money management.
Do they need to know every cent of what is spent in the household? No, not exactly, at least not until they are older (late teens). Age-appropriate earning, saving, and spending will be taught starting at a young age though.
I've been telling my kids how much money "we" have and letting them know how much money I spend on the house, car, pets, school supplies, clothes, whatever since they were mere tots. They know how little we once had and how far we've come. I make them invest in vacations and fun activities so they know the value of money and experiences and so they know that we build a family home together. Now my kids are 9 and 13 and they are pretty good about balancing their books and keeping track of their funds. I also taught them all about taxes and how to avoid giving the government a free loan.
I don't know if this will help them when they're adults, but I hope it's a good foundation. I know my parents didn't tell me anything and I had to figure it all out on my own. To make matters worse, my mother was a banker.
Clean Your Plate
You don't have to finish all of the food on your plate.
Lots of people have grown up with parents telling them they need to finish their plate and if they do they'll get dessert (myself included). That does 3 things:
1.) Forces you to eat more than you are hungry for
2.) Makes dessert too exciting
3.) Makes you too full to eat the very exciting dessert, but you really want it so you force yourself to eat it anyway.
I understand how parents get there, we're always worried our kids aren't eating enough. But ultimately it's a very unhealthy way to approach meals.
Emotional education. As a man in the United States, no one cared about my emotions or mental state. I want to change that with my kids. I want to teach them about their emotions, how to work with them, why they happen, etc. I still need to learn these things!
That is extremely important, especially for males! Most men I know are so shut off from their own emotions it's unhealthy.
A Pee In The Woodsforest GIFGiphy
Mom with daughters here. How to pee in the woods without getting it on their clothes.
Sex Isn't Evil
I would teach them that sex isn't the evil thing that Christianity says it is, and that its ok to have sex before marriage, as long as they're careful and use protection, and they don't make their lives about sex.
I say this because my dad still refuses to tell me anything other than sex=evil, gay=satan worshiper, god=good.
Yes! Sex was one of those things we just didn't discuss in my family. As a result, and because my school didn't provide sex education, I was completely ignorant about sex for much longer than I should have been. I had no idea what was going on after I started menstruating or what the different stages of my cycle were, what was normal or abnormal during menstruation, nothing. All I was ever told was that sex=babies, so you better not do it unless you were ready to be a parent.
Everything I know about sex, I learned either from my friends or (much later) from the internet.
That a college degree on its own is worthless for a lot of jobs. You really need previous work experience for people to be willing to hire you out of college.
This definitely needs to be taught more to kids these days. I graduated last year, and a few people I know still had the mindset, "Once we graduate, we can just walk into those jobs easily". They thought that as they were university graduates, there would be a job waiting for them upon graduation.
Apart from one of them (who is very well connected), they're now finding out the hard way that a degree alone doesn't guarantee them the job. The people I know who got jobs quickly have had previous job experience, not just in their field but also in places like McDonald's.
Trying to teach my nine year old how to let sh!t go, and just go with the flow. Kid is so stressed all the time, he has mini panic attacks almost every day. Today, he dropped a pencil, making a loud noise on Zoom, and started crying.
We actually just had him do another eval, because his anxiety has gotten so much worse and he started expressing bad mental thoughts, but the psychiatrist said it's just terrible anxiety, and that everyone is at max right now.
He's been in counseling for a while now (a few years), but it doesn't seem to click. I'm trying to get him out exercising more (makes me less stressed, idk) and working on meditation. His mom has cancer and it's really wreaked havoc on him.
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Every now and then, we can't help but be proud of certain accomplishments.
Graduating from college or grad school, earning a promotion at work, hosting your first Thanksgiving dinner.
Though it shouldn't be forgotten that pride is one of the seven deadly sins.
Which should serve as a reminder that we should be careful of what we boast over, and that some accomplishments might not be cause for celebration.
A Redditor was curious to hear some of the more questionable skills and/or accomplishments people have boasted about, leading them to ask:
"What are people stupidly proud of?"
Yeah... not cool.
"My ex actually said, 'Yeah, I saw this guy in a pub yesterday who tried talking to us so I basically burned his stupid shirt for an hour lol,' which is one of the main reasons I broke up with him."- AnyCurrency6027Giphy
Always read the fine print.
"Those IQ tests people share but they don't know how to read their results."
"Had some guy just so proud that he was in the top 90%."- 7grendel
Can knowing and doing nothing really be considered an accomplishment?
"Example: pride in not knowing how to do basic math."- stupidlyugly
"Willful ignorance."- storm_the_castle
"Amazingly and increasingly, ignorance."- vanta_blacknessGiphy
Definitely not the parent who deserves to be celebrated..
"My dad, a father of 7, brags that he's never changed a diaper."
"Like, congratulations on being no help?"- Porrick
...Where do you even start?...
“'I’m proud of myself, I haven’t cheated in a while'.”
"Me: 'it’s been 2 months and I’m not f*cking proud of you'.”- Pufferfish4467
They shouldn't be allowed to have pets!
"That their dog weighs so much, but really it's an obese sausage with legs who can't even take three steps without running out of breath."- whiskybidnus
But what's the payoff?
"Long commute times and working hours."- KyotoGaijin
"I'm terrible at my job, let's celebrate!"
"Teachers being proud that their classes are hard and their students are always failing."- GreatXsGiphy
It's hard to imagine what some of these people were thinking when they boasted about these non-accomplishments.
In all likelihood, they weren't thinking at all.
I love TV!
Some television shows are a part of my DNA. That's why an ending is so important.
In the end we want to be forever satisfied. Which is a near impossible ask. Not everyone is going to love the chosen ending.
But sometimes writers really get it right... Buffy the Vampire Slayer... (save for *@#*'s death!!) is EVERYTHING.
But then they can get it really wrong... Game Of Thrones fans are STILL fuming apparently.
Redditorslice29wanted to discuss all the best entertainment endings we've ever watched.
"In your opinion, what TV show had the most satisfying ending?"
I hate and love endings of shows. I love them when they're done well. I hate that it's over. Let's start with one of my favs!!
End of Life
"Six Feet Under."
"Watched this in real time with my mom. The whole show. Every episode. As they aired. I grew up along with it, and the ending felt like the opposite of a death - I was a grown up. You're right."
ipakookapisix feet under GIF by HBOGiphy
"Sledge Hammer! For those too young to remember this gem from the 80s, it was a show that satirized the Dirty Harry-style bad cop dramas that were in at the time. The show ended with Sledge trying to defuse a nuke ('Trust me, I know what I'm doing...'), failing."
"And then the camera slow-pans across the charred landscape of the ruined city and you hear the distant voice of the long-suffering police chief yelling 'HHHAAAAMMMMMMMEEERRRRR!!!!!!' Priceless."
"Blackadder Goes Forth The ending of a comedy set in WWI trenches to end with everyone dying after going over the wall is both sobering and satisfying."
"When Darling thinks the war is over because all the guns stopped firing. 'Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.' But we know there was still another whole year of war to go through."
"Newhart. No one in America saw that plot twist coming."
"And with the rise of the internet, I doubt any show could pull off a twist like that again and take people by surprise. The Season 1 finale to 'The Good Place"'was a rare exception of this happening post-internet."
"The twist is that good, and so few people saw the show during its original run, that there are probably tons of people discovering it every week. I don't want to ruin it for anybody."
"Cheers. 'We're closed.'"
"Thought the same thing. Have been going through the series again, usually one a day and about to start the last season."
SnooLobsters4636Cbs Cheers GIF by Paramount+Giphy
Ah 'Cheers.' Not my favorite show, but a great end. And 'Six Feet Under?' GENIUS!
"The Good Place."
"I need to rewatch that show. If someone told me to watch a show about the afterlife, philosophy, morality, interspersed with d*ck jokes I wouldn't be able to take it seriously but somehow they pulled it off."
jn2010Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
The Tie Up
"Gravity Falls. Tied everything up nicely, but left me wanting more, but what good show doesn't?"
"I want more so bad, but we all know it's better to die a hero than a 25 seasons show nobody wants to watch."
"Agreed. Whether Alex Hirsch does something new in the future or just sods off with his residual checks, I couldn't be more proud."
"why we fight"
"'Cherish the memory of a question my grandson asked me the other day when he said, ‘Grandpa were you a hero in the war?’ Grandpa said ‘No... But I served in a company of heroes.'"
"Band of brothers is GOAT. Even reading that line gave me goosebumps I stumbled across 'why we fight' the other day, must have seen it 20 odd times, watched it again, still amazing. In fact, my missus is out tmrw, you've inspired me to start episode one again."
"M*A*S*H, still the greatest final episode in TV history. It made it clear that nobody would be the same after the war. Winchester couldn't love music like he had before without being reminded of the war. Father Mulcahy lost his hearing as a result of the war. Hawkeye lost some of his sanity."
"Margaret had to lose her self-reliance and realize that it is okay to accept help. Potter had to lose his beloved horse, which was his #1 way to stay sane. BJ had to learn to say goodbye. And, of course, Klinger had to give up his dream of leaving Korea at least for the foreseeable future."
"There are times (most times for me) when being in the military totally sucks. Living in deplorable conditions, spending 24 hours a day with the same people; working, playing, and sleeping together with people you like and people you hate. Missing your family and loved ones. Yet, when you have to separate, the feeling of loss is like nothing else that I have experienced in civilian life."
"Star Trek TNG. The episode itself was great, but that ending scene was phenomenal."
"'Nothing is wild and the sky is the limit.'"
HaCo111annoyed star trek GIFGiphy
Those are definitely some incredible endings. And endings are hard to pull off.
Friendship is not something that can be forced.
As with any kind of relationship, it all depends on compatibility and chemistry, and thus must happen organically.
On the flip side though, it can be pretty clear when people will not end up being your friends, owing to a fundamental difference in personality or beliefs.
Redditor Chola_Bhatora was curious to hear the type of people the Reddit community would never become chummy with, leading them to ask:
"What kind of person would you never be friends with?"
Basically, people who aren't nice
"People who don't apologize for their mistakes, blame others for their problems, and generally complain without doing anything about their situation."
"Oh, and generally a**holes."- NerdyDadGuy1981
"People who are overly rude and constantly laugh it off and call themselves 'a**holes' as if it is an uncontrollable character trait."- Business_Grand7665
Don't you twist my words around!
"People that distort what you said."- Mystery_Ireal housewives lies GIF by leeannelockenGiphy
Just take some responsibility!
"People who can never admit they're wrong about anything."
"No matter how blatantly wrong."- Rachfo44
Say it to my face!
"The kind that talks behind your back."- 0breanna0
Are you sure about that?
"Someone who thinks they already know everything."- Fragrant-Crow-4513know it all boomerang GIFGiphy
Then why aren't I laughing?
"Someone that puts you down in front of your other friends.. 'as a joke'."- motherfugher
How well do you actually know them?
"People who abuse your trust and honesty to manipulate you, especially when they disguise it so well."
"Had it one too many times, thankfully gets easier to spot but some people are freakishly good at it."- nothingjustk
Yeah, well mine's better!
"One uppers."- BasedChickenTendiekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Someone needs a lesson in self respect...
"I'm a woman."
"Had a classmate strike a conversation with me for the first time."
"2 minutes in said she doesn't have female friends because all women are b*tches."
"Why are you talking to me then?"
"What do you think you are?"- Minimum_Greedy
As Jane Austen famously explored in Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can often be misleading.
But every now and then, they can give a crystal clear depiction of who someone really is.
Which could easily be someone you do not want to be friends with.
Age is just a number.
We all hope to stay sexy until the end.
And even when we don't feel sexy, maybe there will be people who still think we are.
Redditor Debonair-Redditor21wanted to hear about famous crushes that enter into the "Harold & Maude" territory. They asked:
"Who is the oldest celebrity that you still find attractive?"
All Hail Dame Helen Mirren. Is there anything else to say?
How Old?Viggo Mortensen Peace GIF by Golden GlobesGiphy
"Viggo Mortensen. Very handsome at 63."
"Damn, he is 63? Time flies."
"Elvira. Cassandra Peterson. Just turned 70 and still breaks out that amazing personality at every appearance."'
"Omg. I saw the BEST suggestion for a movie ever. Elvira & Dolly Parton playing their stage personas as estranged sisters who must team up to fight evil."
Fatalejane seymour call me kitty cat GIFGiphy
"Jane Seymour. 71 and still stunning."
"Live and Let Die. Incredible, and she'll always be in my mind as Elise McKenna, the woman so beautiful that Christopher Reeve's character went back to be with her in Somewhere in Time. I totally get the desire."
"Susanna Hoffs (63)."
"Plot twist: She sang 'Walk Like an Egyptian' because she's immortal and actually lived in Ancient Egypt."
"She was my first crush. As a child, I used to watch MTV for hours just for that moment when she cut her eyes in the 'Walk Like an Egyptian' video."
I am loving this list. I didn't think I would.
Maddymads mikkelsen hannibal GIFGiphy
"You mean my daddy issues? Damn I love that guy. Death Stranding really nailed how he can come through a medium without much hassle."
My Biological Clock
"Jesus, I was so confused watching the new Spider-Man movies with Marisa as Aunt May. Marisa Tomei is perpetually the hot 80s chick in my head, also Jennifer Connelly. I was watching Morbius and seeing Requiem for a Dream and Career Opportunities. I AM OLD, I GUESS."
"Christopher Plummer, right up until the day he died at 92."
"I first saw ‘The Sound of Music’ as a child, watched in many times, know if off by heart etc. I didn’t watch for many years."
"Then as an adult I wanted to introduce a friend’s kid to it, put it on, and spent the next couple of hours absolutely dumbstruck by how hot Christopher Plummer was. It had never struck me before that time but go**amn have I never forgotten. No wonder Maria chose the Captain, if I had to choose between him and God I know who my pick would be."
"Timothy Olyphant. Idk what it is about him. He's so funny, charming, and handsome that I don't care how much older than me he is."
"I do NOT get tired of watching him; he is so expressive. In Catch and Release there's a scene where he and Jennifer Garner are having a conversation that consists entirely of gestures and facial expressions. Hilarious!"
"He is amazing in Justified and Deadwood... hell, pretty much everything. I think I just found out I may have a man-crush on the dude lol."
YeohMichelle Yeoh No GIF by RegalGiphy
"Ugh she was a vision in Everything Everywhere All at Once. And if she doesn't win all the awards then there is something really wrong with the voting system."
"Oof that's kind of a hard one. Without looking up a bunch of older actors I think I'd have to go with Ken Watanabe. I think he's in his early 60s now and the last time I saw a recent pic of him he was still looking fine AF. And an honorable mention is Steve Carell... I don't know what it is but he keeps getting hotter with age. I was never attracted to him until he did that silver fox photo shoot with the paint brush 'n shi*t."
total class act...
"Stanley Tucci. As my mom says about handsome men, he just looks like he smells good."
"He visited our hotel a few weeks ago. As the Restaurant Manager I was specifically told that my team and I were not to treat him any different to other guests, which we don't."
"The guy was a total class act polite, courteous, and always keen for a chat. Never mentioned his movies, his career, but was there to enjoy time with his family, and they themselves were also a joy to be around. Can confirm he always had a slight aroma of warm cinnamon."
Well that is a long list of sexy. Cheers to growing sexy with age.