Life with depression can be exhausting. It's so much more than just being sad sometimes - and living with clinical depression means knowing that the dark and heavy "episodes" are always at risk of coming back.
For those people, knowing how to navigate through and potentially out of those episodes becomes a vital life skill.
One Reddit user asked:
What pulled you out of a depression?
So let's take a look at what works for some people.
A Change In Scenery
happy unbreakable kimmy schmidt GIFGiphyI moved to the other side of the world and got rid of someone out of my life that caused it. Travelling helps for me.
- EvoDevs
I ended up in a pretty bad place a few years ago. Told my work and family that I needed a break and moved to NYC for three months. Fortunately everyone was very understanding and I think the change may have saved my life.
Definitely feel this. Changing you place, routine and situation all at once can remind you that life can be new and interesting. Also, trying to survive in a new, strange place helps put things in perspective.
Medication
Medication.
Turns out that all the positive thinking and therapy in the world isn't worth a damn if your brain is legit dysfunctional... but managing the root of the dysfunction works gems.
All of the other answers when I posted this were along the lines of "I just thought happy thoughts and all the bad went away!", and generally pooh-poohing chemical treatments, and this was a response to those. You should always take a look at other solutions before taking the medication route, as there are risks involved in taking such medications.
But when it's what works for you, there is no shame in using medication to manage your depression.
- Chordus
A Furry Little Reason
A long time ago, I was unemployed in a foreign country. There was a bad recession and a lot of nepotism, I couldn't get the most basic of jobs that I was well qualified for (I was fully eligible to work there). I know what you're thinking and I thought it too - after a while, if NOBODY will hire you, surely, THEY aren't the problem, it's you, you're the worthless one? It got pretty bad. Ok it got really bad. My whole sense of self was shot.
So anyway I was pretty depressed. I tried medication but it didn't help, I guess because I was depressed about the situation and that didn't change.
Then, one day, we were visiting friends of ours in a smaller city, and they mentioned that friends of theirs had found a puppy. A Labrador puppy. Did we know anyone who would like a Labrador puppy?
I had Labradors the whole time I was growing up. I looked at my husband and said "I need the Labrador puppy"
He wasn't keen at first. I wore him down. We were in town for a soccer game, and I wouldn't shut up about going to see the puppy throughout the whole game. He agreed to go see it just to get me to let him enjoy the game. By then I knew I'd won, because he has a soft heart and the minute he saw the puppy he'd agree we were going to take it.
I was right. Also the puppy was even cuter than I thought - I'd assumed it'd be a black lab mixed mutt, and probably female. The puppy turned out to be a beautiful male yellow Lab (males tend to be a little more predictable in terms of personality, in my experience)
So we got a puppy. And first order of business was training it. And as he got older I needed to give him so much exercise! Every day we had to go to the ocean to play fetch or he'd drive me insane! I kind of knew I needed some external force to give me a reason to get up in the morning, but it worked so well.
The puppy is 11.5 years old, now. He's always been there for me, for us. When we had our daughter he was glued to me as moral support through every night feed. He's amazingly perceptive. When I'm feeling a bit down he totally knows. He's been glued to me again since I lost my job. He's a good dog, and although we gave him as good a home as we could, I think he gave us so much more.
Weeding Out The Problem
A solid friend group, is what kicked me out of my depression within about 6 months. It's been 7 years since I was depressed and I don't smoke anymore. but I can safely say I'm alive and happy today because of marijuana.
- empleezu
The College Crash
Leaving college. Honestly f*ck my college. They couldn't care less about your mental health.
My "prestigious" university was know for being a rat-race hellhole. They had one therapist that always said he couldn't help anyone and referred people to a psychiatrist or private therapist. Lol.
Anyway I'm finishing this month and I can already feel the depression leaving me.
- haptoh
Work It Out
Aerobics GIFGiphyExercise. Any form. Whatever works for you. Even just walking. Its basically a cheat code for the brain.
I only learned this recently.
I've had depression since I was in my early teens due to a medical diagnosis that forced my parents remove physical activity from my life. I lived a very sedimentary and depressing life for 10+ years. Depression made me think that this was normal and I never bothered trying to fully fix it. Sure, I'd throw medication at it. Did some therapy and saw a psychiatrist. But none of it ever seemed to stick so like someone with depression normally does, I accepted that life was not truly worth living.
About two months ago, I made a conscience decision to change my living standards. Started off with a walk down the street, moved onto walking around the whole neighborhood, to walking 5 miles, and now I'm running, biking, and kayaking. The change in how I feel is absolutely a breath of fresh air.
Since that original medical diagnosis, I never wanted to wake up in the mornings. It just wasn't worth it. Now, I'm waking up, excited for my day, and the thought of wanting to die is a thing of the past. I'm working normal hours, my anxiety has lessened, socializing is easier, and I'm just overall HAPPY. Exercise is a priority now.
Bonus to all of this - depression made me miss out on so many fun things in life so now, in my late twenties, I'm experiencing so much new stuff!
More Controlled, Less Reactionary
Time.
Mine stemmed more from an obsession; but as I had stuff to do and went through different interests, it just got buried under it all.
Moreover, time made sure I got desensitized to the shock of it, so when it creeps up in my mind from time to time I'm able to think about it in a more controlled and less reactionary way.
Time.
I was depressed for around a decade. I just lived with it with patience and acceptance. With more life experience it gradually dissipated. Not to say I didn't try lots of things, but it was really about having a different mindset that vanquished it.
I think growing older with more confidence I cared less about how others perceived me and changed how I perceived myself. I used to hold other people's opinions as higher than my own (depending on the person). It's hard to know that at the time but looking back it seems obvious.
A Depressant Doesn't Help Depression
The big one barely mentioned here so far is to stop drinking alcohol, or at least drink a lot less of it. It's not even the depression while you're drunk that's the problem. It's that you remain more depressed long afterwards when you're sober, leading you to want to drink again. Medication and exercise help too, of course.
- Zolo49
Run Physically Or You'll End Up Running Mentally
Running is the only thing that gets me out of my negative headspace. Chills my anxiety and bad thoughts that lead me to hopelessness.
Currently paying the price right now for neglecting running as of late cause I'm so busy. I'm laying in bed filled with stress cause I can't sleep due to shit I need to do this week.
- emeryz
I also used to walk a lot during spring & summer, and it made me feel a little better indeed. But summer is over now, and the weather is already bad in my country (NL.) Plus now it gets dark early outside, so I lost the motivation to walk over the past few weeks - and I got the same issue as you that it keeps me up at night for houurrrsss + anxious when I don't move..
- Izzy9595
Micro
Micro dosing mushrooms....nature's anti depressants. I take a tiny bit of psylocibin every few days. I don't hallucinate or get high from them as they are such a small dose. Just start feeling more connected, less stressed and more creative.
It took a couple/few weeks to kick in. I just started noticing things were not bothering me as much. I just felt more connected to people and nature around me ....also so grateful to be alive and witnessing everything; staying present.
I feel much better ...have been doing this for approx 5 months.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Reddit user sir_nams asked:
"What is an item you spent way too much money on but have no regrets buying?"
Home
"My house."
"I pay a lot as my mortgage, but every time I come into the house the immense peace I feel is just under the roof."
"My friends are worried why I stay in the house too much and I keep on telling them I’m fine, I’m just enjoying my house."
~ Not-The-Delulu
Clothes
"Investing in more expensive clothing that doesn’t fall apart in a year."
~ rainbowlettuce76
Alaska
"Not an item, but a trip to Alaska this summer."
"I never sat down and added everything up, but I probably spent about $3,000 on a 10-day trip (solo)."
"But it was an incredible trip, worth every dollar."
~ rob_s_458
GiphyMental Health
"My kid’s therapist."
"She’s the head of the practice, and came highly, highly recommended. And she costs a goddamn arm and a leg."
"However, my kid is thriving."
"Do I wish she was less expensive? Of course!"
"Would I dream of switching her out for someone new? Not on your life."
~ strangled_spaghetti
Bed
"My new TemperPedic king bed."
"By God was it expensive but I’ve never slept better!"
~ Expensive-System-762
Dogs
"My dog."
"She's almost 7 and since I got her she's either wearing my money, chewing my money, or eating my money."
"Don't regret it one bit."
~ PsychologicalSense41
GiphyComfy Chair
"A quality desk chair."
"Working from home, I spend more time in the chair than in bed."
"Paid about the cost of a mattress for my chair and have zero regret."
~ mattkoz
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
"My divorce."
"At a certain point I just said, 'it’s only money, I can make more. But I can’t get back those days I lost being with him, and I miss those days and chances to be happy more than I miss the money'.”
~ newwriter365
Japan
"My recent trip to Japan. I've been wanting to go since I was at school (I'm 40 now), and after saving most of my adult life, I finally managed to go."
"I've never spent that much money on anything. Even though I've been dreaming about it and building it up in my head my whole life, it still far exceeded my expectations."
"Absolutely no regrets."
~ -Satsujinn-
GiphyBidet
"Toto toilet with Toto washlet (electric bidet)."
~ Mr_Auric_Goldfinger
Straight Teeth
"Invisalign."
Cost? Expensive."
"Having straight teeth for the first time in my life in my 40s? Priceless."
~ Disraeli_Ears
Cats
"My cats."
"The cats I had when I was younger, I got for free. Got spayed/neutered at low income clinics, then it was food and litter."
I got kittens several years back from a shelter. Expensive city, so even shelter kittens are a couple hundred dollars each."
"And they were absolutely worth every penny. Every vet appointment, every emergency appointment, toys, high quality food."
"I would give them even more if I could."
~ StinkyKittyBreath
GiphyComfy Shoes
"I bought a pair of New Balance shoes for $240."
"They are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn and owned. My wife is getting sick of the weird noises and constant 'Man these shoes are comfortable!' whenever I wear them."
"No regrets."
~ StressSad6439
Art
"One time I decided not to go to a party because after 9 PM there was a $10 cover and I wasn’t gonna be able to make it before then."
"While walking back to my apartment I noticed an art opening. I went in and fell in love with the artist’s work."
"I bought a $500 painting on the spot. This was a huge amount of money for me at the time, the most I had ever spent on one single thing."
"Not sure what came over me, but I still love the painting."
~ OKsurewhynotyep
Family Photos
"Many years ago I decided to do a family photo shoot. I BEGGED my sister to do it with us, said I'd pay for her family's separate ones also."
"She refused, it wasn't convenient for her husband. It included my dogs, my mom, and my husband."
"My thoughts were we've never done them and mom wouldn't be around much longer. We did some shots of my mom with my dogs (who she loved) and us as a whole."
"About two months later my husband died unexpectedly. About a year later my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my sister's husband died unexpectedly. My dogs gave my mom happiness in her last days."
"My lesson was, it is 100000% worth doing it because you never know if tomorrow will come or not."
~ nickygirl19
What expensive purchase have you made that you’ll never regret?
How well did you really know the people who are no longer with us?
Many of us present our best selves to our friends and relatives but do you share with them your deepest, darkest insecurities and secrets?
Maybe you do. But there are plenty of others who take their secrets to the grave.
But those closely guarded secrets or the truest identities can come to light posthumously in many forms, giving a glimpse of who they were to the people they've left behind.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor WhoAllIll asked:
"What secret was revealed when cleaning out the home of a deceased family member?"
Not everyone had pure morals or ethics.
Shady Business
"Elderly aunt had a hidden room with staircase to basement area no one knew about. She and her son had a meth lab. This was in the 90’s in Philly. Blew us all away."
– pekepeeps
Here's The Story
"We all knew this one uncle had a second family. We expected drama at the funeral."
"No one was expecting his third family to show up. Wife. Three kids. This new family knew the rest of the family by name from pictures. How we are all related, names, hobbies. That was a wildly bizarre experience."
– z-adventure
Late Discovery
"My dad passed away in 1994 (I was 28). While going through his safe I found some adoption papers. While reading through them I got excited at the prospect I might have a brother out there somewhere (I was raised as an only child) but couldn't understand why my parents never told me that they'd adopted a child but never told me. After rereading them, I realized that they papers were about me. After confronting my family about this turns out everyone - family, close friends, I mean everyone, knew I was adopted. Except me. That was a fun day."
– rolandblais
You never know about a person.
Once Upon A Cash-tress
"Many years ago I went with my dad and aunt to clean out my great uncle’s apartment after he passed away. He was never married, no kids, and lived (we thought) very poor. Tiny apartment with a twin bed, table and chair, a couple of pots and pans, a couple pants& shirts, and that’s basically it."
"As we stripped the bed and moved the mattress, we were shocked. He had hundreds of stacks of 10 dollar bills, wrapped in rubber bands, under his mattress. They were all 10 dollar bills. He lived during the Depression and didn’t trust banks, apparently, but we had no idea he had so much cash. He never spent it on anything. Just bundled it and saved it under his mattress. Some of the bills were so old and yellowed. It equaled thousands of dollars. We had no idea."
– Sostupid246
The Neat Hoarder
"My grandfather, who spoke English as a third language, was a bit of a hoarder. Lots of old sh*t stockpiled in his basement, but well organized. Imagine a generic episode of Hoarders, but with a prepper OCD vibe."
"Everything was sanitized, stacked/nested, and grouped logically. It was like the stock room for a store that wasn't yet sure what products it was selling and wanted to be ready."
"So we find a cylindrical container that was kinda heavy for its size, and it had the label 'OLD PENIS'. It was one of those black plastic film containers."
"Hesitant, but curious, we removed the lid."
"It contained a collection of one-cent pieces which had been minted in the first half of the 20th century."
"Part of me was disappointed, part of me was relieved."
"Edit: I'm glad so many people got a chuckle from the mystery of my grandfather's old penis. It was an innocent typo, but he was a jovial man and would have enjoyed knowing it made so many people laugh."
– funkme1ster
Unpublished
"We knew my originally British, naturalized Canadian great-grandmother had been an enthusiastic amateur historian, who had been fascinated by Britain’s war with Napoleon - not for the least reason because she was herself tangentially related to the Duke of Wellington’s family, via a cousin’s marriage to his son’s nephew, or some connection equally obscure and tenuous."
"What we didn’t know is that, likely in preparation for a book she never wrote, as a young woman she had actually interviewed several dozen elderly English, French and Spanish veterans about their experiences during that war - including three actual survivors of Waterloo (two English, one French), and an aide-de-camp to Spanish General Francisco Javier Castaños, at the time he handed the Napoleonic army its very first defeat in the field, and captured nearly 20,000 French troops at the Battle of Bailen (1808)."
"But there it was, stored in a wooden egg crate under her iron-framed bed, among old calendars, untested recipe clippings and copies of Family Circle magazine: a manuscript with nearly three hundred pages of transcribed military memoirs - all laid out in three languages (in which she was fluent) in her elegant, Spencerian hand."
"My parents donated her manuscript to the Imperial War Museum, where no doubt it will never have human eyes laid on it again."
– theartfulcodger
These Redditors share heartwarming discoveries.
Preparing For The Onward Journey
"My dad was in hospice at home for a couple months before he died of lung cancer, and when I went to clean out his house I found that he had already sorted and packed away most of his personal treasures in couple storage bins. It was heartbreaking all over again thinking of him sitting there packing up his own life knowing it was coming to an end."
– F0regn_Lawns
Messages From Beyond
"When my husband died a few years ago i found several notes/letters he had scattered in various places around our home, written to me in advance (he had terminal cancer & knew he was dying). some were marked 'open when you can't stop crying' 'open when the holidays are too rough' 'open when you have to put one of the cats to sleep'."
"They didn't contain any secrets, but they are heartbreakingly beautiful."
– miss_trixie
Sweet Keepsake
"My dad kept a handwritten note in his wallet containing my mom’s old address, phone number, and directions to her house from when they first started dating in the 70s. He had moved it from wallet to wallet over the years. ❤️ He just died this past March and that was one of the first things we found."
– Jinx5326
Scavenger Hunt
"That my dad hid money all over the house, not huge amounts mind you, but $60 here, $120 there. Felt like a bit of a scavenger hunt when we were cleaning out his stuff. He was always a bit of a sneakily generous guy, always gave me and my brothers a secret handshake with money tucked in his palm when we’d go back to school after a weekend home, etc, so wouldn’t be surprised if he’d done it intentionally. Made us smile every time we found some, iirc I think the final total was somewhere around $800."
– Mzunguman
Photographs are treasures.
When my family cleaned out the house of my father's aunt who lived in America, we found stacks of vintage photographs well before the advent of digital photography.
There were photos of my great aunt in Japan from when she was a teenager to photos of her and her husband at a Japanese internment camp at Heart Mountain, Wyoming.
There were no secrets uncovered but it was so profound poring through images capturing decades of her life captured on film.