Life with depression can be exhausting. It's so much more than just being sad sometimes - and living with clinical depression means knowing that the dark and heavy "episodes" are always at risk of coming back.
For those people, knowing how to navigate through and potentially out of those episodes becomes a vital life skill.
One Reddit user asked:
What pulled you out of a depression?
So let's take a look at what works for some people.
A Change In Scenery
happy unbreakable kimmy schmidt GIF
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I moved to the other side of the world and got rid of someone out of my life that caused it. Travelling helps for me.
- EvoDevs
I ended up in a pretty bad place a few years ago. Told my work and family that I needed a break and moved to NYC for three months. Fortunately everyone was very understanding and I think the change may have saved my life.
Definitely feel this. Changing you place, routine and situation all at once can remind you that life can be new and interesting. Also, trying to survive in a new, strange place helps put things in perspective.
Medication
Medication.
Turns out that all the positive thinking and therapy in the world isn't worth a damn if your brain is legit dysfunctional... but managing the root of the dysfunction works gems.
All of the other answers when I posted this were along the lines of "I just thought happy thoughts and all the bad went away!", and generally pooh-poohing chemical treatments, and this was a response to those. You should always take a look at other solutions before taking the medication route, as there are risks involved in taking such medications.
But when it's what works for you, there is no shame in using medication to manage your depression.
- Chordus
A Furry Little Reason
A long time ago, I was unemployed in a foreign country. There was a bad recession and a lot of nepotism, I couldn't get the most basic of jobs that I was well qualified for (I was fully eligible to work there). I know what you're thinking and I thought it too - after a while, if NOBODY will hire you, surely, THEY aren't the problem, it's you, you're the worthless one? It got pretty bad. Ok it got really bad. My whole sense of self was shot.
So anyway I was pretty depressed. I tried medication but it didn't help, I guess because I was depressed about the situation and that didn't change.
Then, one day, we were visiting friends of ours in a smaller city, and they mentioned that friends of theirs had found a puppy. A Labrador puppy. Did we know anyone who would like a Labrador puppy?
I had Labradors the whole time I was growing up. I looked at my husband and said "I need the Labrador puppy"
He wasn't keen at first. I wore him down. We were in town for a soccer game, and I wouldn't shut up about going to see the puppy throughout the whole game. He agreed to go see it just to get me to let him enjoy the game. By then I knew I'd won, because he has a soft heart and the minute he saw the puppy he'd agree we were going to take it.
I was right. Also the puppy was even cuter than I thought - I'd assumed it'd be a black lab mixed mutt, and probably female. The puppy turned out to be a beautiful male yellow Lab (males tend to be a little more predictable in terms of personality, in my experience)
So we got a puppy. And first order of business was training it. And as he got older I needed to give him so much exercise! Every day we had to go to the ocean to play fetch or he'd drive me insane! I kind of knew I needed some external force to give me a reason to get up in the morning, but it worked so well.
The puppy is 11.5 years old, now. He's always been there for me, for us. When we had our daughter he was glued to me as moral support through every night feed. He's amazingly perceptive. When I'm feeling a bit down he totally knows. He's been glued to me again since I lost my job. He's a good dog, and although we gave him as good a home as we could, I think he gave us so much more.
Weeding Out The Problem
A solid friend group, is what kicked me out of my depression within about 6 months. It's been 7 years since I was depressed and I don't smoke anymore. but I can safely say I'm alive and happy today because of marijuana.
- empleezu
The College Crash
Leaving college. Honestly f*ck my college. They couldn't care less about your mental health.
My "prestigious" university was know for being a rat-race hellhole. They had one therapist that always said he couldn't help anyone and referred people to a psychiatrist or private therapist. Lol.
Anyway I'm finishing this month and I can already feel the depression leaving me.
- haptoh
Work It Out
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Exercise. Any form. Whatever works for you. Even just walking. Its basically a cheat code for the brain.
I only learned this recently.
I've had depression since I was in my early teens due to a medical diagnosis that forced my parents remove physical activity from my life. I lived a very sedimentary and depressing life for 10+ years. Depression made me think that this was normal and I never bothered trying to fully fix it. Sure, I'd throw medication at it. Did some therapy and saw a psychiatrist. But none of it ever seemed to stick so like someone with depression normally does, I accepted that life was not truly worth living.
About two months ago, I made a conscience decision to change my living standards. Started off with a walk down the street, moved onto walking around the whole neighborhood, to walking 5 miles, and now I'm running, biking, and kayaking. The change in how I feel is absolutely a breath of fresh air.
Since that original medical diagnosis, I never wanted to wake up in the mornings. It just wasn't worth it. Now, I'm waking up, excited for my day, and the thought of wanting to die is a thing of the past. I'm working normal hours, my anxiety has lessened, socializing is easier, and I'm just overall HAPPY. Exercise is a priority now.
Bonus to all of this - depression made me miss out on so many fun things in life so now, in my late twenties, I'm experiencing so much new stuff!
More Controlled, Less Reactionary
Time.
Mine stemmed more from an obsession; but as I had stuff to do and went through different interests, it just got buried under it all.
Moreover, time made sure I got desensitized to the shock of it, so when it creeps up in my mind from time to time I'm able to think about it in a more controlled and less reactionary way.
Time.
I was depressed for around a decade. I just lived with it with patience and acceptance. With more life experience it gradually dissipated. Not to say I didn't try lots of things, but it was really about having a different mindset that vanquished it.
I think growing older with more confidence I cared less about how others perceived me and changed how I perceived myself. I used to hold other people's opinions as higher than my own (depending on the person). It's hard to know that at the time but looking back it seems obvious.
A Depressant Doesn't Help Depression
The big one barely mentioned here so far is to stop drinking alcohol, or at least drink a lot less of it. It's not even the depression while you're drunk that's the problem. It's that you remain more depressed long afterwards when you're sober, leading you to want to drink again. Medication and exercise help too, of course.
- Zolo49
Run Physically Or You'll End Up Running Mentally
Running is the only thing that gets me out of my negative headspace. Chills my anxiety and bad thoughts that lead me to hopelessness.
Currently paying the price right now for neglecting running as of late cause I'm so busy. I'm laying in bed filled with stress cause I can't sleep due to shit I need to do this week.
- emeryz
I also used to walk a lot during spring & summer, and it made me feel a little better indeed. But summer is over now, and the weather is already bad in my country (NL.) Plus now it gets dark early outside, so I lost the motivation to walk over the past few weeks - and I got the same issue as you that it keeps me up at night for houurrrsss + anxious when I don't move..
- Izzy9595
Micro
Micro dosing mushrooms....nature's anti depressants. I take a tiny bit of psylocibin every few days. I don't hallucinate or get high from them as they are such a small dose. Just start feeling more connected, less stressed and more creative.
It took a couple/few weeks to kick in. I just started noticing things were not bothering me as much. I just felt more connected to people and nature around me ....also so grateful to be alive and witnessing everything; staying present.
I feel much better ...have been doing this for approx 5 months.
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The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.