Life with depression can be exhausting. It's so much more than just being sad sometimes - and living with clinical depression means knowing that the dark and heavy "episodes" are always at risk of coming back.
For those people, knowing how to navigate through and potentially out of those episodes becomes a vital life skill.
One Reddit user asked:
What pulled you out of a depression?
So let's take a look at what works for some people.
A Change In Scenery
happy unbreakable kimmy schmidt GIF
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I moved to the other side of the world and got rid of someone out of my life that caused it. Travelling helps for me.
- EvoDevs
I ended up in a pretty bad place a few years ago. Told my work and family that I needed a break and moved to NYC for three months. Fortunately everyone was very understanding and I think the change may have saved my life.
Definitely feel this. Changing you place, routine and situation all at once can remind you that life can be new and interesting. Also, trying to survive in a new, strange place helps put things in perspective.
Medication
Medication.
Turns out that all the positive thinking and therapy in the world isn't worth a damn if your brain is legit dysfunctional... but managing the root of the dysfunction works gems.
All of the other answers when I posted this were along the lines of "I just thought happy thoughts and all the bad went away!", and generally pooh-poohing chemical treatments, and this was a response to those. You should always take a look at other solutions before taking the medication route, as there are risks involved in taking such medications.
But when it's what works for you, there is no shame in using medication to manage your depression.
- Chordus
A Furry Little Reason
A long time ago, I was unemployed in a foreign country. There was a bad recession and a lot of nepotism, I couldn't get the most basic of jobs that I was well qualified for (I was fully eligible to work there). I know what you're thinking and I thought it too - after a while, if NOBODY will hire you, surely, THEY aren't the problem, it's you, you're the worthless one? It got pretty bad. Ok it got really bad. My whole sense of self was shot.
So anyway I was pretty depressed. I tried medication but it didn't help, I guess because I was depressed about the situation and that didn't change.
Then, one day, we were visiting friends of ours in a smaller city, and they mentioned that friends of theirs had found a puppy. A Labrador puppy. Did we know anyone who would like a Labrador puppy?
I had Labradors the whole time I was growing up. I looked at my husband and said "I need the Labrador puppy"
He wasn't keen at first. I wore him down. We were in town for a soccer game, and I wouldn't shut up about going to see the puppy throughout the whole game. He agreed to go see it just to get me to let him enjoy the game. By then I knew I'd won, because he has a soft heart and the minute he saw the puppy he'd agree we were going to take it.
I was right. Also the puppy was even cuter than I thought - I'd assumed it'd be a black lab mixed mutt, and probably female. The puppy turned out to be a beautiful male yellow Lab (males tend to be a little more predictable in terms of personality, in my experience)
So we got a puppy. And first order of business was training it. And as he got older I needed to give him so much exercise! Every day we had to go to the ocean to play fetch or he'd drive me insane! I kind of knew I needed some external force to give me a reason to get up in the morning, but it worked so well.
The puppy is 11.5 years old, now. He's always been there for me, for us. When we had our daughter he was glued to me as moral support through every night feed. He's amazingly perceptive. When I'm feeling a bit down he totally knows. He's been glued to me again since I lost my job. He's a good dog, and although we gave him as good a home as we could, I think he gave us so much more.
Weeding Out The Problem
A solid friend group, is what kicked me out of my depression within about 6 months. It's been 7 years since I was depressed and I don't smoke anymore. but I can safely say I'm alive and happy today because of marijuana.
- empleezu
The College Crash
Leaving college. Honestly f*ck my college. They couldn't care less about your mental health.
My "prestigious" university was know for being a rat-race hellhole. They had one therapist that always said he couldn't help anyone and referred people to a psychiatrist or private therapist. Lol.
Anyway I'm finishing this month and I can already feel the depression leaving me.
- haptoh
Work It Out
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Exercise. Any form. Whatever works for you. Even just walking. Its basically a cheat code for the brain.
I only learned this recently.
I've had depression since I was in my early teens due to a medical diagnosis that forced my parents remove physical activity from my life. I lived a very sedimentary and depressing life for 10+ years. Depression made me think that this was normal and I never bothered trying to fully fix it. Sure, I'd throw medication at it. Did some therapy and saw a psychiatrist. But none of it ever seemed to stick so like someone with depression normally does, I accepted that life was not truly worth living.
About two months ago, I made a conscience decision to change my living standards. Started off with a walk down the street, moved onto walking around the whole neighborhood, to walking 5 miles, and now I'm running, biking, and kayaking. The change in how I feel is absolutely a breath of fresh air.
Since that original medical diagnosis, I never wanted to wake up in the mornings. It just wasn't worth it. Now, I'm waking up, excited for my day, and the thought of wanting to die is a thing of the past. I'm working normal hours, my anxiety has lessened, socializing is easier, and I'm just overall HAPPY. Exercise is a priority now.
Bonus to all of this - depression made me miss out on so many fun things in life so now, in my late twenties, I'm experiencing so much new stuff!
More Controlled, Less Reactionary
Time.
Mine stemmed more from an obsession; but as I had stuff to do and went through different interests, it just got buried under it all.
Moreover, time made sure I got desensitized to the shock of it, so when it creeps up in my mind from time to time I'm able to think about it in a more controlled and less reactionary way.
Time.
I was depressed for around a decade. I just lived with it with patience and acceptance. With more life experience it gradually dissipated. Not to say I didn't try lots of things, but it was really about having a different mindset that vanquished it.
I think growing older with more confidence I cared less about how others perceived me and changed how I perceived myself. I used to hold other people's opinions as higher than my own (depending on the person). It's hard to know that at the time but looking back it seems obvious.
A Depressant Doesn't Help Depression
The big one barely mentioned here so far is to stop drinking alcohol, or at least drink a lot less of it. It's not even the depression while you're drunk that's the problem. It's that you remain more depressed long afterwards when you're sober, leading you to want to drink again. Medication and exercise help too, of course.
- Zolo49
Run Physically Or You'll End Up Running Mentally
Running is the only thing that gets me out of my negative headspace. Chills my anxiety and bad thoughts that lead me to hopelessness.
Currently paying the price right now for neglecting running as of late cause I'm so busy. I'm laying in bed filled with stress cause I can't sleep due to shit I need to do this week.
- emeryz
I also used to walk a lot during spring & summer, and it made me feel a little better indeed. But summer is over now, and the weather is already bad in my country (NL.) Plus now it gets dark early outside, so I lost the motivation to walk over the past few weeks - and I got the same issue as you that it keeps me up at night for houurrrsss + anxious when I don't move..
- Izzy9595
Micro
Micro dosing mushrooms....nature's anti depressants. I take a tiny bit of psylocibin every few days. I don't hallucinate or get high from them as they are such a small dose. Just start feeling more connected, less stressed and more creative.
It took a couple/few weeks to kick in. I just started noticing things were not bothering me as much. I just felt more connected to people and nature around me ....also so grateful to be alive and witnessing everything; staying present.
I feel much better ...have been doing this for approx 5 months.
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Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The Draft
Episode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
- direct07
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Much
rhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyA girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.
Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
The Getaway...
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
The Avoid...
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by Emmerdale
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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