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People Share What They Regret Talking To Their Therapist About

It's not easy opening up to a therapist, and chemistry is important. Some patients have seriously bad luck, with therapists either not helping or making matters worse - like telling someone who was suicidal that they were simply hungry. WTF?


nick256 asked, [Serious]Did You Ever Regret Talking To A Therapist/Psychiatrist? Why?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


"Thinking happy thoughts" does not help with depression or anxiety.

Giphy

Yeah, when I was in my late teens this therapist suggested I should only think happy thoughts, that the abuse I received was my own fault for not standing up for myself, and when all of that didn't work she prescribed a high dose of Xanax for me. Literally said she would be beating the s*** out of her own daughter if she found out she was cutting herself like me (back then). I thought this was the norm and she was right, a better therapist later on told me that she was messed up and demanded the company she was with to make sure she wouldn't ever have another client again. Apparently she got many, many complaints as she did this to many of her clients.

M0rbidea

This is bad advice.

Giphy

Had a therapist who recommended me to go visit my dad whose girlfriend had a month prior tried to strangle me to death, and had abused me for well over a year. I was five at that time.

Vislushni

Props for trying.

Giphy

I've been seeing a therapist for a year and it's been great. Some sessions are better than others, but it's helped me considerably with my issues of anxiety and depression.

However, she suggested than I try one of the group classes, and I was hesitant. But I figured that the worst that could happen was a bad experience, and signed up for one.

It went fine until the doctor/teacher asked to share what was bothering us. I was not at all prepared for this. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone other than a doctor about this stuff, I was not remotely okay with sharing this information with total strangers. I basically had an anxiety attack while waiting for my turn, and did my best to hide it when I was asked to speak, but I wasn't able to form coherent sentences. The doctor reminded me to try some of the basic anxiety coping mechanisms and I basically clammed up after that. I spent the rest of the class trying to not dwell on the fact that I had a anxiety attack right in front of people.

I felt worse after that than I did before I stared seeking help. It only really took me a week or so to feel normal again, but there is no way that I'll ever do any kind of group therapy again.

boredInAnER

Malpractice 101. Crohn's can cause depression, however.

At around age 12 I started getting terrible, burning stomach aches. All I could do was lay in my bed, waiting for it to go away. Went to my doctor and he "diagnosed" me with lactose-intolerance (I did drink a lot of milk) and depression/anxiety. Made me go to a therapist but I just knew that wasn't the issue. Mentally I was fine, still am. Kept going to these over and over again, learning nothing, while my health state got worse and worse. My body turned to bones, my skin was as pale as a ghost. But no, I was "just sad." (Don't worry, I know depression is more than just being sad.) It almost got to a point where they just about convinced me they were right, and it was just a mental thing. Finally went to a professional and was immediately diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Within a month after receiving treatment, my skin color came back, and I gained around 10-15 pounds after being deathly below what I should have been. It wasn't totally the therapist's fault, but it still made a little upset that I was always just told I was wrong.

Blue707

"Religious therapist" should be considered an oxymoron.

Giphy

I did! I found it really difficult to talk about things and it was emotionally draining.

I'm a reserved kind of guy, and I don't talk about that kind of thing, so opening up was unnatural and too much to deal with for me.

I also saw a Christian therapist, which in hindsight maybe wasn't the best idea for someone questioning their sexuality.

Cockwombles

That's not how it works.

Giphy

There was a time when I felt down a lot, so I figured seeing a therapist might be a smart move. She told me emotions are a triangle of happy, sad, and angry if I recall correctly.

"whenever you feel sad or angry, just think about things that make you happy"

That's it, that's all there is to it apparently.

Thanks doc.

racoon1969

Just pray! Pray it all away!

Giphy

Yes. Husband and I went to marriage counseling after a large marriage altering event. He chose a Christian counselor. I had misgivings, but went anyway.

Chick basically spent every session telling us to read some workbook she was selling (not even one she had written), and then ended in prayer. Yea, not helpful at all. We ended up only going a handful of times and working things out on our own instead.

SJane3384

Well, here we have an ethics violation.

Giphy

Yes.

So my ex-school has this system where a psychologist will come in and talk to kids that the school thinks needs some therapy. The school pays for the psychologist to assess the student and if the psychologist thinks that the student needs some extra therapy, the school will then allow for extra sessions. I suffer from a lot depression and PTSD but I have a psychiatrist outside of school that helps me so much, but regardless of my improving mental state, the school wants me to see that psychologist that they have just in case.

So I went in there, explained that I am doing really well and that I just want to spend some of my free time I have for myself but the school psychologist didn't want to hear that and continues to question me on and on about stuff and so I eventually told her that yes I do have recurring nightmares of my mother who was abusive sometimes and that affects my sleep a bit, it's no big deal, it doesn't affect my mood or my overall performance at school but the psychologist wanting the money, goes to the school and tells them "She has reoccurring nightmares of her mother and I think she needs some extra therapy," basically exploiting that ONE THING I SAID SO THAT SHE CAN GET MORE MONEY.

I found the sessions really unhelpful and it sometimes even cause me panic attacks afterwards because that of a psychologist digs up well buried memories that I have long forgotten back to the surface and pretty much undoing all the ACTUALLY USEFUL THERAPY WORK THAT MY PSYCHIATRIST OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL DID. I got so fed up at one of the sessions that I walked out and my father made a formal complaint to the school board saying that they are forcing me to do unnecessary treatment despite several different requests cancelling therapy sessions.

renegadeheartache

Takes a lot to be this hangry.

Giphy

I was suicidal and the therapist told me I was probably just hungry.

JettFumes97

Awkward. And seriously unprofessional.

Giphy

Yeah. Wife and I went to a marriage counselor. He tried to rub one off when we were talking about our sex life.

mrg1957

On whose side was this therapist?

Giphy

Yes, very much so. I struggled a lot as a teen with bullying at school and what amounted to what I now recognize as emotional abuse at home. I was very depressed and anxious. I started having thoughts of suicide at age 13. I eventually convinced my parents to let me see a psychiatrist, though they didn't really think there was a problem. I was a HS freshman at the time, so 15-16.

I liked the doctor a lot at first. He was friendly, he really listened to me talk about my issues, and he was the only sympathetic adult in my life at that point - I thought. After a while, he told me the way I was being treated at home was very wrong, and he wanted me to bring my dad in to a session so we could all talk about it together. He felt that if he were mediating the conversation, my dad might actually take my feelings seriously. I thought, "Wow, this is great, I will finally be heard!"

The next time I came in, I brought my dad, but the doc did a complete 180, talking about me with my dad as if I weren't even there. He told him he was doing a good job as a parent, but I was just a bad and rebellious kid who did everything for attention. The best thing to do, he said, was ignore my attention-seeking behaviors and not validate them in any way. He said he didn't believe I was really depressed at all and was faking to get drugs.

A friend had died in a car accident just a few days before, so I was already in an emotionally vulnerable place. Whenever I tried to speak, they'd just talk over me, like I was just some thing, not a person with feelings. I started to cry, so the doctor pointed at me and said, pretty triumphantly, "See! She's crying now because she knows I'm right. I can't be right because I'm old, isn't that right, downhereforyoursoul? You can't stand for an adult to be right!"

I tuned out whatever was being said after that, just quietly cried while they continued discussing me and my issues with authority or whatever. Home life worsened after that because now there was even less of a chance for me to ever be listened to or taken seriously. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. It was many years before I felt comfortable seeking help again.

That ahole is probably retired or dead by now, but f*ck him. I'm still salty about it.

downhereforyoursoul

This is profoundly unhelpful.

Giphy

Yes, she repeated what I have to do is change my personality. Feeling depressed and anxious is about my personality... Interesting.

[deleted]


Isn't it the therapist's job to recognize signs of abuse?

Giphy

Yep! My therapist, who is been seeing for a year prior for other reasons, had incredibly unreasonable expectations for a new relationship of mine. Talking about "true love" and how "some people just get so lucky finding 'their person' so young". I remember having misgivings at the time, but continued seeing her. Started having relationship problems so brought him with me to the therapist. Therapist started getting erratic and giving contradictory advice in the same session. Ended up having to dump the therapist before dumping the SO.

Ironically, this therapist is supposedly the best in my area for post-abuse counseling.

MacSolLeo

When your therapist violates confidentiality...

Giphy

Yep. As a teen I had a few sessions with a psychologist. I wanted to go in order to talk about some historical trauma but my father was paying for the sessions because he wanted me to figure out how to better adapt to life with his new batshit crazy wife. After a few sessions, I found out that the psychologist was having regular discussions over the phone with my father and disclosing what I was saying during our sessions. I promptly freaked out and then refused to seek psychological help (which I really needed) for close to a decade.

In_Odd_We_Trust

Don't treat patients like customers.

Giphy

She treated me like a product and did her job like it from a checklist. I wasn't in a good mental state at the time and she pushed too many of my buttons. The most notable thing I said to her was "stop regurgitating the same bile you find off of the internet and do your f*cking job."

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We've all made our fair share of mistakes; it's in our nature, honestly.

Sometimes we mess up so badly, it can ruin other things in our lives, like important relationships or our jobs.

But some people have messed up so badly at work that they lost their jobs in record time.

Ready to hear the tea, Redditor mango-chocolate asked:

"What's the quickest way you saw a coworker get fired?"

Check Your Pride

"In my old law office, a firm-wide email was sent out announcing the arrival of a new employee. We will call him Paul."

"So Paul decided to reply-all to let all of us know that he was aware of our recent legal defeats, that many people should be fired for these failures, and that his hiring was the first good thing our firm had done in years."

"The dude was a legal assistant right out of college with no experience."

"A minute after the email went out, I heard a crazy shout and then watched one of the senior partners run past my office towards HR (Human Resources)."

"And five minutes later Paul walked past with the HR manager and a security escort. He lasted less than 45 minutes."

- Left_Apparently

Lotto Fraud

"I worked at a lotteries company. A guy working in testing got access to production data and printed off some test tickets with some unclaimed winning numbers."

"He only did low amounts, like 500 dollars, and claimed three of them in three completely different locations around town."

"Of course, the company was interested in the story of someone who found a six-month-old lottery ticket and claimed it, but they were even more interested to find it was the same person going to three locations."

"Needless to say, when they realized the guy actually worked in the company, he got pulled into a room with cops a-waiting him."

- ThroughTheHoops

Weird Brag

"I worked at a bank, we were robbed at gunpoint. One of the tellers was quick to tweet out, 'Woooo, got the rest of the day off!! Feel free to visit me at work with a gun and ski mask anytime!'"

"They were fired upon walking in the next morning."

- seastrat

Totally Stopped Production

"An id**t pressed the emergency stop for fun on his second day at work."

"The emergency stop that he hit switches off all drives on the 100-meter-long paper machine. This means there is a loss of production for three to four hours for the entire paper mill."

"He was immediately escorted from the factory premises by two colleagues."

- daHawkGR

No Point Taking That Test

"I had a coworker get picked for a random drug test. She went back to her desk to grab her purse, and just left the building, never to return."

- brytewolf

Yes, That's What We Meant

"The boss sat her down to talk about her recent behavior at work."

"She whipped out her phone and started taking a video, saying that it was her right to record for 'when it goes to court.'"

"The boss said, 'Okay, this is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, you’re fired.'"

"This was at a Domino’s Pizza."

- kenb99

New Definition for "Side Hustle"

"Evidently, they robbed a bank on their lunch break."

"They came back like nothing happened, and then the cops showed up and took him down. It was crazy."

- Bob_the_Brewer

Quite the First Impression

"Pulling into the parking lot on the first day, she ran into a light pole that took out electricity to the whole site."

"She wasn't wearing a seat belt and was thrown into the front window."

"When we went out to see what had happened, she reeked of booze and there were empty liquor bottles in the back of the car."

"She never even made it to the front door, got a guest badge, or started her orientation training."

- LowBudgetViking

Haunting Upcharges

"When I was in high school, I used to do seasonal work at haunted houses which I did for four years."

"A new guy that they hired was supposed to help with parking. Now, in the three years that I worked at this haunted house, they never once charged people for parking (it was a very dark parking lot off of a cliff so had to make sure no one drove off of it trying to park)."

"This cheeky son of b***h started charging people five dollars to park."

"It was only found out after someone complained because they didn't have the money to go in with their friends because they had to pay for parking. I think the guy was only there a couple of hours before he got fired."

- rpgmomma8404

Missed the Training

"They got hired and then fell asleep during a meeting their first day and were asked not to come back."

- Snowstorm-3

"Same here. At a tech company, they hired a new developer, and the owner caught him napping at a desk on day one when he was supposed to be reviewing training materials."

"The owner had a chat with him, and told him whatever the reason, it was really bad form to fall asleep on the job on the first day."

"The new hire apologized, understood, and went back to the training materials. Not 20 minutes later, the owner walks by again and the guy is passed out once again, so he walked over, woke him up, and told him he was fired and to get out."

"I don't even think he made it to his fourth hour of employment."

- badtz-maru

Highly Questionable Explorations

"Early in my career I was an engineer at a refinery in the UK, and I was in charge of the QC lab. By law, we had to have external independent testing on the refinery fuel products to confirm they complied with government regulations."

"It seemed getting a job for the testing company was that you had to be an adult and had a driving license. The lab had a lot of very nasty chemicals either being tested or used in the testing or cleaning of the oil products."

"A new young girl turned up for the testing company and was dipping her finger into a chemical called phenol and stating that 'it makes your hand and arm go numb.' Phenol is a severe muscle relaxant (including your heart) and can kill you at very low concentrations."

"One hour into her employment we had paramedics on the scene monitoring her vitals and was released after eight hours. She didn't last the first hour of the first day and the testing company was fined pretty heavily."

- Nerdymcbutthead

AKA: Paid to Advertise

"A guy got hired in the first firm I ever worked for. He turned up for his first morning at work, and within an hour he had emailed the entire company (6,000 people) about his band and their availability for birthdays, weddings, etc."

"He was dismissed by lunchtime."

- BDATriangle001

"So he got paid half a day's wage to advertise his band to 6,000 people?"

"Man's a freaking genius."

- Oakcamp

Not-So-Quiet Quitting

"One day, Tim announced that he wasn’t paid enough and was going to basically sit at his desk doing nothing until he was paid what he wanted."

"20 minutes later, the boss walked in and asked Tim if he could have a word with him."

"Five minutes later, the boss walked back in and announced that Tim no longer worked there and if there were any questions."

"There were no questions."

- Few_Horse4000

Don't Be That Guy

"Interviewed a guy that was replacing someone who was leaving. Offered the job and was supposed to start the next day."

"Just so happened that we were having a going away party for the leaving dude that night so new guy was invited as a chance to 'get to know the team.'"

"The new guy shows up and proceeds to get absolutely s**t-faced and asked the head of HR if she wanted to go back to his place because he 'got a vibe' during the interview process."

"Next day, the new guy was a no-show so we were thinking bullet dodged. He showed up just before lunch clearly hung over making up some excuse for being late."

"The big boss came out and told the guy to get the f**k out."

- tizod

Optional Hours? Optional Employment.

"I fired someone who decided her second day that she was going to go out to lunch and not come back. The next morning she told everyone all about the shopping she did. She seemed confused about the expectations."

- dunwerking

Some of these stories are absolutely worth shaking our heads over, while others are truly shocking.

It's crazy the lengths people will go to in the workplace, despite the expectations that had already been clearly set.

If you view the rules as optional, your boss might view your employment as optional, too.

A doctor
Austin Distel/Unsplash

We all have our bad days that can be completely debilitating.

Some days are worse than others and can lead to mental breakdowns.

For most of us, these moments are fleeting, and we can greet the next day with a fresh start and mindset.

But that luxury doesn't always apply to everyone.

Imagine those who perpetually experience such an extreme frequently, maybe even daily.

Curious to hear of various diagnoses of the mind, Redditor MeepingBad6699 asked:

"Mental professionals of reddit, what is the worst mental condition that you know of?"

There are patients who are convinced they are no longer with us but are still able to articulate it.

Dead But Alive

"Cotard delusion. I'm a nurse and had to take care of a huge man with this condition. He came in with some odd behavior and escalated to Cotard. The delusion makes you think you are actually dead. He would scream he was dead all day and night. Lived in constant terror. He was such a sweetheart, but became so worn down and terrified over time he got quite dangerous and punched a nurse in the face."

– bbourke0626

Unalive Patient

"I had a patient check into the ER with this once but I didn’t know the name, she just kept claiming she was dead. She got baker acted and transferred."

– Dimwit00

Rude Awakening

"Also a nurse. I had a couple patients get ICU delirium that presented with them believing they were dead. Definitely not a fun time."

"I mean it sorta makes sense. Being in the ICU can be comparable to torture with the sleep deprivation, constant beeping and other noises, lots of pain and other physical discomfort, the thirst and hunger (thirst and hunger are very psychological so even if we give someone nutrition through a feeding tube or IV, your brain still freaks out because you're not eating or drinking). And so for some people, if you wake up, don't know where you are and you feel like you're being tortured, reasonable enough to assume you are in hell."

– PaxonGoat

Statistics Say

"Wow. So according to the DSM 5 there have only been 200 cases since this condition was identified (how long ago, I want to say 1800s). Anyway, I just found a new study from 2022 that says that about 1% of patients with schizophrenia are now reporting this delusion. Which, as the authors point out, is a significant increase. I wonder what has changed in the decade since the DSM 5 was published that is driving this uptick?"

"It is especially odd when you consider that people actually used to believe that dead people could come back to life, even designing coffins and burial practices around this belief because it was so commonplace. You’d think if anything the condition would be becoming less frequent and not more. Interesting."

– DarthMomma_PhD

Severe memory loss is one of life's cruelest symptoms.

Losing A Sense Of Self

"Dementias."

"Watching a person, their memories, their personality die but their body remain living and confused, is horrifying..."

– Sacu_Shi_again

"Terrifying Prospect"

"My grandma has dementia (she can barely talk right now, but she's still physically healthy, somewhat) and a lot of my closely related family died due to Alzheimer's. Granted they acquired it / started showing severe symptoms when already quite old (early to late 80s), but it's still a terrifying prospect to know that I'll probably die in such a way. I hope that when the time comes, and it starts to affect me in a significant way, my wishes will be respected and I'll be euthanized. Both to spare me the horrors of it, and to not be a depressing burden to those around me."

– pale_sand

Warning Signs

"My grandma had it and now my dad is constantly complaining that he's forgetting things/can't remember anything. He's not even 60 yet."

– antisocialarmadillo1

Eating disorder was another horrific mental condition Redditors mentioned.

Hosting A Non-Existent Parasite

"Delusional parasitosis comes to mind with this prompt. I’ve watched a patient go to well over a dozen doctors trying to get confirmation that they’re parasite ridden. After countless stool samples, blood work, labs, scans, biopsies, etc., she clearly didn’t have any but remains convinced."

– Blahaj_shonk_lover

Side Effect

"A friend of my mom's ended up with something like this after getting into the wrong kinds of drugs."

"She was convinced that there were little bugs in her face. Absolutely convinced. She'd pick at her face day and night."

"She got clean for a little while, came to her senses, and stopped picking. But the damage was done, her entire face was scarred."

– ShiraCheshire

Alzheimer's hits too close to home.

I've known so many people related to or knowing someone with mental illnesses resulting in severe memory loss and it is heartbreaking.

Now a family member was just diagnosed and it's a lot for me to process it. It's not just the individual suffering. Their loved ones truly suffer too.

What I am learning, however, is to not take the present for granted. It's all we have.

Assortment of various food
Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Whenever we go out to eat, be it at a fine dining establishment or a quick service window, some of us tend to wonder what the journey was for the food that we are looking at on our plates or in our take-out bags.

Many have similar thoughts when buying frozen or pre-packaged dinners at supermarkets.

The answers aren't always readily available, often because the food service industry will go to great lengths to keep them under lock and key. Well aware, most of the time, that current or former employees will spill the beans at one point or another.

Redditor Lilyxrx was curious to hear some of the most well guarded secrets of the food industry, leading them to ask:

"What’s a secret the food industry don’t want you to know?"

Next Time Your Craving Bananas Foster...

"The 'natural flavors' are just big jugs of glycerin with hyper concentrated flavoring in it."

"Banana flavoring is fairly flammable."

"Source: Worked in food manufacturing."- irony_in_the_UK·

Cholesterol Be Darned!

"Chef here."

"It’s salt and fat."

"If you have a question about anything it’s salt and fat."- LongRest

For Efficiency's Sake...

"Olive Garden makes all their necessary pastas for the whole day from 8-10am every morning."

"Partially cooked."

"So when an order comes through, they grab a serving of the needed pasta style and flash cook them in hot water."

"Also, it’s just the brand, Barilla."- Deerhunter86

Justin Bieber Food GIFGiphy

Before You Pay The Extra Money...

"Beekeeper checking in."

"There is no such thing as organic honey."

"I do not treat my bees with chemicals, but I have no idea where they get their nectar."

"A bee can fly up to three miles from a hive to get nectar."

"It is virtually impossible to guarantee they have not gotten nectar from a chemically treated source."- toad__warrior·

If You Ever Wonder What Makes It Taste So Good...

"Unless it’s a health conscious food joint you’re eating at, the food we serve is designed for maximum taste."

"It’s either dense with fat and sugar, or fat and salt "

"E.G. Those mashed potatoes you like?"

"Made with cream, butter, and salt."

"The quiche?"

"Made on cream, not milk."

"Etc, etc."- petuniasweetpea

Before You Start Bragging...

"Dragon fruit isn’t an exotic Asian fruit."

"It’s a cactus fruit, and as such are native to the Americas and can even be grown in the US."- ferretmonkey

dragon fruit GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy

In Case You're Wondering why That Taste Is So Familiar...

"A lot of the processed cheese and cream cheese is all the same recipe we just switch the labels and packaging for the different brands we run."

"Source: I work in a cheese factory in a company that services 75% of America's domestic market."- anon5678903276

Another Reason To Have No Guilt Over Take Out...

"Well."

"I work at Dominos, and we are kept afloat by the people who don't coupon and pay full menu price."

"You people are the unsung heroes of labor."- LoweeLL

Unlike Any Chocolate...

"When I worked at a mass production bakery the chocolate for the chocolate covered doughnuts came in giant frozen blocks of 4x4 pieces and contained no actual chocolate what so over."

"When unfrozen it was like some sort of nasty smelling paraffin wax that I would break up with a hammer and place into a melter that would then pour over the doughnuts."- gil_beard

Chocolate Dessert GIF by HuffPostGiphy

What Do Orange Juice And Whiskey Have In Common?

"The reason orange juice tastes consistently the same year round, even though it's a crop harvested once a year, is because citrus oils and citrus flavor are added back to different batches and blended all together."

"Similar to how whiskey is blended from multiple barrels to make it consistent."

"The difference is that even though extra stuff is added back into the OJ, it doesn't need to be labeled because the flavors contain all ingredients from oranges (FTNF-from the named fruit) so the FDA doesn't mandate labeling additional ingredients."- PensiveDoughnut

Does That Explain Their Shape?

"Pringles (and baked Lays/similar) are made of rehydrated and compressed rejected/excess parts of potatoes that go into regular chips."

"I learned that from my dietician at work and thought that was odd."

"I still like them over regular chips."- bluesasaurusrex

A Secret Better Not Known...

"The 11 herbs and spices secret recipe."- NemoTheOneTrueGod

Food Pouring GIF by Great Big StoryGiphy

Just Pop It In The Fryer...

"I was a young lad working at Church's Fried Chicken during the summer, many years ago."

"The owner refused to throw out chicken that had already gone bad; to the point where you'd gag if you smell them."

"Apparently if you batter them bad boys up and deep fry them, the rancid smell goes away."

"His customers never knew they were eating spoiled chicken."- Dirt_E_Harry·

Sweet... But Safe!

"The amount of sugar that goes into Costco bakery products is absurd, especially the apple pie."

"That being said; Costco does not f*ck around when it comes to food safety."

"Every area that is responsible for producing food is most likely cleaner than a white room for producing computer parts."

"There are virtually zero roaches, we found one in the bakery once and shut it down until the exterminator did his thing that very night."

"Someone returned a package of dinner rolls because their child had bit into one and a sharp piece of metal was in it, within less than 2 minutes every manager in the building was doing an investigation that led all the way up to the regional manager and his boss for several hours and determined that it had come off of a piece of machinery before it reached our location."

"We throw away rotisserie chickens if they have left (even for a few minutes) the shelf and someone tries to put it back."- Deathnachos

Costco GIF by hero0fwarGiphy

We'd like to think that everyone who works in the food industry shares the same high standards.

But, as in any industry, there are those out there who will cut corners for speedier results.

On the bright side, it does save you the trouble when deciding what cream cheese to buy...