People Share What Screams "I Need To Prove My Masculinity"—And We're Cringing
Fragile masculinity is super toxic, and utterly laughable because of how unnecessary it is. Guys, you don't need to prove yourselves through violence or hookups. Real men pet kittens and puppies.
cHoOsEyAuSeRnAmE asked: What screams "I need to prove my masculinity?"
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
What are they trying to prove, exactly?
Being a dick to your friends whenever there's a girl around.
Or being a dick to your girl whenever friends are around.
If you straight up call them out on that it really takes the wind out of their sails. "Dude, why are you being a dick? Are you trying to impress her?" Hard to come back from that.
This ain't something to be proud of.
Bragging about the many times you've come close to getting busted with a DUI. My sister once brought a boyfriend over who started rambling on about this within the first month of dating. Same age as me but I couldn't help but think to myself, "What a f*cking idiot, why are you proud of this?"
A sleazy guy at my wife's work was hitting on her, knowing full well she was married, and tried to impress her with his rap sheet. He asked if I had ever been arrested and tried to emasculate me because I hadn't, dude wore his petty theft and probation violations as a badge of honor." Your man ain't a real man, real men are willing to serve jail time, your guy sounds like a wimp." My wife was stunned at this stupidity. She kindly informed him that no woman in their right mind would agree with him and that she would have less than zero interest in him even if she were single. "Real men" have much more than a criminal record to brag about.
That always kills me... like why do people think thats cool?
"I'm so dumb I constantly get caught and waste years of my life. I'm so great and the best criminal ever!"
This douche.
Some dude tried to fight me at the bar, but we weren't even talking to him. Just got in my face, told me not to talk sh*t, and asked what the f*ck I said about him. We were not even looking in his general direction, playing some pool, and he came from outside.
I'm gonna go with people that have to try and prove something to strangers.
Had this guy at a bar come up and try to start sh*t once like this.
There was a pong table set up at the back of the bar , to his credit we didn't see the list of those who were next, only an empty table. So me and my buddies start setting up a game. When Mr.Friendly came over, maybe 5'3", probably over 200lbs as his Aeropostale T-shirt was struggling to contain his chest and arms.
He comes up to me with a look of pure contempt, and says "Hey asshole, we were next, the list is right fking there use your eyes." Caught me a little off guard and my Go-to reaction for that is laughter, so I giggle and say hey no worries man, didn't see the list. I go to turn to my buddy at the other end of the table to tell em we gotta wait till the next game before I can..
"You think that's f*ckin funny!?"
Before I could even ask wtf his deal was he slapped a full beer out of my hand and the glass shattered everywhere. I just stood there in pure disbelief at what just went down , and the dude was looking at me with his chest puffed out and a face that said "I f*ckin dare you". Then it hit me that he's just looking for a fight and I burst out laughing, his face got red and he shoved me back and that only made it worse. The bouncers came over and kicked both parties of people out, I did my best to explain my case but no dice, we had to leave.
We got one last look at the fire ball in the parking lot, getting into his lifted F150, and had one last laugh at the stereotype as he flipped me off and peeled out.
Nice try tough guy.
When I was 22, I went to Vegas for my now wife's 21st birthday. There just happened to be a Pacquiao fight that same weekend. The morning after the fight, I was pumping gas with my wife on the car before we left town. A car pulled up, coming from a whole different part of the city, and a drunken belligerent boxing fan immediately exited his vehicle, and approached me as though we were arguing already. It was clear that he was pumping with testosterone and looking for a fight. I continued pumping my gas while he yelled at me, and his wife was profusely apologizing to me. He eventually got in his car, then got right back out and screamed "what did you say?!" Then approached me again asking what I was looking at. I finished pumping my gas, and left Vegas.
I don't understand why men want to fight after watching a fight. I like watching boxing and MMA as much as any other man or woman, but don't get all amped up to engage in it myself. Why risk fighting a drunk man, on concrete, with both of our respective significant others watching. Are we lions or something?
Felt bad for his wife. Her reaction and facial expression implied this was not his first time acting this way.
One day someone will knock him on his ass and I bet he has his lawyer on speed dial.
Yeah. I thought about fighting him to because my blood got pumping when he approached me so aggressively, but weighing out my options in that particular situation, I didn't want to risk getting hurt, especially in front of my then gf. I'm a tall lanky fella, even skinnier back then, and not much of a fighter unless I have to. There's always a bigger bully out there though, and you're right, he's probably been knocked on his ass multiple times by now.
A quick spray with the fuel nozzle would have set him straight.
You mad?
Constantly telling people stories about how you solved problems with violence or by threatening violence.
Dude, I had a "buddy" on a job-site who bragged about running a car full of teenagers off the road, then threatening to kill them after they ... wait for it... threw a plastic bottle out the window at his truck.
Unrelated: I was busy everytime he wanted to hang out after that.
threatening to kill them after they ... wait for it... threw a plastic bottle out the window at his truck.
Post a video of someone littering on Reddit and you'll have people saying they deserve to die and sh*t. Littering is bad but people need to prioritize their anger.
If you have to constantly brag...
I'm surprised nobody got here first: CONSTANTLY talking about sex and how much of it you have. With everyone.
Do people still do that after high school?
Fun story, in like 9th grade there was this guy that constantly talked about how much he was getting. It was annoying. We had this awesome teacher and she told him once in front of the class that it is general knowledge that those who are talking about it aren't getting it. Shut him right up.
Oh yeah? I will have you know I had three sex last night. When was the last time you had three sex? I did not think so.
Who's the master here?
Just to give a different answer than everyone: owning a poorly disciplined strong dog(s).
There was this manly-man neighbor I used to know who owned 3 rottweilers. Only he would walk them, and you could see him struggling to keep them at his pace.
Bro. There's nothing manly about not being able to control your pets. Them looking tough just makes you look like a douche.
The irony is - those dogs owned HIM, not the other way around. When you are struggling to get a dog to walk on a leash, it's taking you on a walk.
Nope.
F
'A man who says 'I am the king' is no true king'
I feel like this is the same thing.
Whoa, fragile.
Shooting your teenage daughter's laptop after she messaged a boy 🙄🙄🙄
In r/trashy and r/iamverybadass there's a post of a dad showing the aftermath on Facebook or something. The best part is it was a school issued Macbook, he's going to have a pretty hefty bill for that childish stunt.
Not to mention how creepy it is when dad's go all "NO MAN CAN TALK TO OR DATE MY DAUGHTER" as if he was in a dedicated sexual relationship with her.
Not fooling anyone.
Tapout apparel.
When your shirt says UFC, but your body says KFC...
Surely the more apt one for that brand would be When your shirt says Tapout, but your body says takeout...?
What's your favorite toxic masculinity story?
People Share The Things They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life
There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.
But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.
Redditor Curious-2577 asked:
"What's something you learned 'embarrassingly late' in life?"
Addictive Personality
"My sister was in her fifties when she found out the meaning of, 'You have an addictive personality.'"
"She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality."
"We laughed hysterically when we talked about this (in a very sad way)."
- casper02127
Horse Toes
"I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a 'horseshoe' and the toes were tucked inside."
"How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?"
"I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked, 'It must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!'"
"Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes."
- BronNatsPulisic
Referencing Flowers
"The saying is, in fact, 'Nip it in the bud' and not 'Nip it in the butt.'"
- too_sharp
Pastures New
"A few months ago, two of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time."
"I kept reading/hearing the sentence, 'They’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving, and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to, like, 'Pastures New.'"
"I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company."
"I was in the car with one of the two people who were leaving and said, 'So where is it that you and X are going to be working? Is it...’"
"And just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘Pastures New,' they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that."
"I think at that moment, I realized I was stupid and didn’t mention it again."
- WorriedSoft
Mario Brothers
"I think I was in college when I realized that Mario and Luigi are plumbers. I thought they just went and up down these tubes just because that was the theme of the game."
- dontbemystalker
Bonsai Trees
"That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai."
- ixent
Houston, We Have a Problem
"Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to."
- vienna_versailles
Cowboy Beans
"I learned that pork and beans are not called 'cowboy beans.' I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the 'cowboy beans.'"
"We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while, I picked up a pork and beans can with a picture and said, 'See, they look just like this!'"
"He said, 'You mean pork and beans?'"
"Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them."
"The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day."
- whyunoletmepost
The Pulitzer
"Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a 'Pullet Surprise.'"
- BendyBrains
Rum and Coke
"Not too late in life, but I thought my parents were making 'Roman Cokes' until I went to college."
"Which, I think is a much better name for the drink (Rum and Coke) anyway."
- Th3seViolentDelights
Oh No, Not Acoma!
"That a coma was 'A' coma. Until I was probably 19 or so, I thought it was 'acoma.'"
"I thought you fell into acoma."
- FightWithBrickWalls
It Must Have Been a One-Way Trip
"My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
- artemus_who
Multitasking
"I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases… when I was a kid, I thought was a special hospital for people who had two or more different diseases at the same time."
- Baffhy_Duck
Ore-Ida Fries
"Moving cross-country, driving east to west, and crossing from Idaho to Oregon, I noticed huge fields with signs for the Ore-Ida Potato company."
"So I was in my early 20s when I figured out Ore-Ida wasn’t just a brand name but was because their potatoes came from Oregon and Idaho."
- Deadhawk142
Kid Logic
"When I was really young, my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years."
- Presitigious_Sweet_50
Some of these really had us laughing as we realized the revelations some of these Redditors were having.
But when we're really honest with ourselves, we probably didn't figure out some of these until later, too.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.