From being in and out of jail, to receiving a PhD and publishing a book on disease research, 23 people share what happened to their school bully.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1. The irony
This girl cyber-bullied me for four years of high school. Made multiple Facebook accounts, caused me to have to get multiple new phone numbers because she kept discovering my new number, recorded videos of herself and others listing reasons why I should leave the city, etc. She now doesn't have an education as I'm doing my thesis on cyberbullying and applying to PhD programs.
2. The fashion designer pretender
Had a girl who bullied everyone at the school. Her parents were loaded. Sometime after high-school something happened to that money. Now she lives in a tiny apartment and attempts to stay relevant by pretending to be a "fashion designer" with thrift shop clothes. It's like a more satisfying version of Grey Gardens.
3. A successful bully
Went on to get a PhD in the States (I'm from Europe), made a small breakthrough in research of a disease and published a book about it. When I found out, I was envious for a second, but I quickly realized it's really for the better. Teenage bully or not, he helped humanity. If all bullies would turn out like that, the world would be a better place.
4. Interesting how things turn out
He had to have his jaw reconstructed and can't talk right now because someone punched him so hard that he ended up in a serious situation. I saw him at work once. He was so shy towards me.
The girl that impersonated me online to make me look like a horrible person is now complaining about people on welfare, while being unable to hold down a job of picking out groceries for old people on welfare to send to them.
5. Becoming friends
Well, my elementary school bully has a great story. He TERRORIZED all of us third graders. He showed up uninvited to my friend's birthday party and my friend cried. He was such a jerk. He was selfish and the best at everything. By middle school, we both were on the soccer team, and our coach took none of his crap. The bully was our leading scorer in sixth grade (the youngest grade), and he let us all know it. In the latter part of the year though, my mother got sick, and the bully's mother let me stay with them (which I didn't really want to do). During that time, we became friends and now, in high school, he's mellowed out a TON. Like, he's one of the most popular guys but that's only because he's such a cool, upstanding guy. Currently we are co-captains of our soccer team and have a fantastic record. No one can say a bad word about him now, and I think that's really cool.
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6. Expect the unexpected
A few years back I decided to enter the names of old classmates into my county's jail records database. Not only did I find out that the last guy I would have expected was arrested for sexual assault, my school bully had evidently fallen afoul of a three-strikes drug law and had gone to prison for a lengthy sentence.
7. Some people do grow up
Ran into him like half a year ago in the local pub, had some beers with him and played some darts because the guy I was with knew him and the guy he was with. Despite the fact that he made my life a living hell for 3 years I didnt hold a grudge and he seemed fairly nice its almost like people can indeed grow up.
8. Bullying as a coping mechanism
My school bully invited me to his wedding a couple years ago, and it was a good time. He's actually a really nice guy now but does lack a formal education. I'm convinced his horrible actions when he was a kid were more of a coping mechanism for the horrible things he endured in his household. Anyway, bullies suck. This is before the internet, and cyber bullying so I can only imagine what kids go through these days.
9. People change
My middle school bully got his girlfriend pregnant Sophomore year and dropped out. For a guy who used to push kids down stairwells, he's an adoring father. He came into the restaurant I work at a few weeks ago with her for self proclaimed 'daddy-daughter day' (he didn't notice me) and you could just tell she's the apple of his eye. I know the mother left after she had the kid; the girl was well mannered, well dressed, and didn't fuss at all. That's a lot for an 18 year old guy to accomplish in his child. I was impressed.
10. Paying for mistakes made in youth
Sounds like he's okay. He actually went to prison for bullying me in our sophomore or junior year. He used a threat of deadly force, and the school had been itching for an excuse to expel him. Apparently he had also been making noises about having a gun to others as well, so the school came down hard and called the cops.
A few years later I got a letter sent from prison, apologizing for what he did and how he treated me. At the time I was very cynical, thinking it was something he'd been ordered to do. But now I prefer to believe it was genuine. A buddy of mine from high school who I still talk to said he ran into him and he seemed pretty happy.
Anyway, I know enough to know that he's not back in prison. Genuinely hope he's doing well. No one should have to suffer for a lifetime for mistakes they made in their youth.
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11. A positive outlook on things
The girl that abused me in high school went on to go to a good college and have a promising career in the field of her dreams. Since I was survivor #3, I'm guessing she kept hurting people after me, but I wouldn't know. Meanwhile I flunked out of college, have no career prospects to speak of, no car, and no apartment. But at least I'm with a nicer girl now, and all the meds and trauma counseling have started to help.
12. Not too bad
Last time I checked he works a decent job at construction and inherited a house from his parents but he has a newborn son he never sees and the wife (ex-wife now) was unfaithful which kind of messed him up. So not too bad, not too good? Same as myself now that I think about it.
13. The bully seen on the street
I met him the other day. He was sitting at the train station in our hometown, doing crack, or some other drug, I don't know. I was on my way back to university from visiting my parents, having just gotten in to my Masters program.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy inside, seeing his life like that.
14. Cool guy turned criminal
I remember when he joined our school he immediately showed out. Coming from a rich family who gave him everything. But he was also the "cool skater" guy so everyone somewhat related to him.
Countless times he targeted me, stealing things and poking fun. I finally retaliated at a concert and punched him. I'll never forget the look on his face. He never messed with me again after that.
Fast forward 10 years and he is now serving a sentence for running over a pedestrian.
15. In and out of trouble
I was terrorized in school by a boy, and he was relentless. I was in tears everyday after school. I was humiliated in front of my friends and classmates. As the years went on, we saw less of each other in school and didn't share many classes. One day during lunch, I saw him in the pay line and another kid was bullying him! Calling him fat, ugly, shoving his tray and telling him to move faster. For a split second, I was pleased but then my empathy set in and I felt horrible for him. My stomach was in knots. I knew what it felt like to be ridiculed and embarrassed in front of my peers and now he did, too. It didn't feel like a victory.
Sadly, he didn't turn out very well. He has been in and out of prison since he turned 18.
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16. Befriending the bully
I have been bullied most of my school years (like 9 of the needed years of school) but when I started college, it got WORSE. The bullying got almost life-threatening until I got so angry that I kind of saw red (my friends told me that). The bully (thats now one of my best friends) started throwing stones when I sat in the halls of the school waiting for my next lesson. I ran up to him, punched him in the gut, and broke his arm.
I got called into the principals office 30 minutes later with that guys parents, and they asked why I did it. I explained what happened.
Two weeks later after that happened, he got up to me in school, and told me he was really sorry, and he wanted to start over, like friends. I said that if he ever tried anything like that again, it would get ugly.
He does work in the local GameStop now, and I'm unemployed.
17. Teaching the bully a life lesson
He got involved in drug and gang activity, got shot in the leg, amputated, quit drugs, still hung out with his gang buddies, friended my sister on Facebook (she's friends with his sister) sent me a friend request that I ignored because I never use Facebook. He then started talking bad about me saying he ran me off of Facebook, and started harassing my friends and family. I accepted his request, posted a video on his wall of me running and working out. He started playing the victim, then I posted screenshots from my sister's phone of his messages where he was trying to get with my sister onto his wife's Facebook wall. She filed for divorce, he couldnt afford a lawyer and kept playing the victim and blaming me for his failed marriage and financial insecurity. I responded saying that he ruined his own life by getting involved with drugs and gangs, cheating on his wife, dropping out of school, now he has a criminal record, no education, problems with fidelity, and a huge victim complex.
Didnt hear anything from him after.
18. The bully who re-invented himself
I was bullied by multiple people in middle school. I don't actually know what happened to all of them, because I transferred to private school in high school to get away, and haven't really looked back since.
One of my bullies ended up going to the same college as me. He had completely re-invented himself during high school, including coming out as gay. I almost wonder if that was why he bullied me so relentlessly, because we went to school in a time where "gay" was still a valid insult and homosexuality was looked down upon, so he probably had a lot of internalized homophobia to deal with during that time. I didn't really have any desire to talk to him, but I couldn't have even if I wanted to, because despite having some mutual friends he went out of his way to avoid me (I think out of guilt?). We had one painfully awkward conversation freshmen year and then never spoke again.
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19. Blacklisted a bully
Out of high school I tried college but found out that it wasn't really for me. So I got a job at a local TV station as it was relevant to my interests. He went onto college for sports broadcasting I believe. There's 3 TV stations in my hometown and over the course of the years I ended up working at all of them. So I knew everybody in charge of hiring people for all positions. 4 years after high school one of my news director comes to me and asks if I know this person.
I don't usually hold grudges, but this guy was a jerk. In all the years of him bullying me, pushing me around and ganging up on me with his friends, I retaliated only once in middle school because he pushed me to the ground and I had to go to the nurse. I just went about my own business and did my best to ignore him through high school. Him and his friends were relentless though.
Now back to the news director, he asks about this person because we went to the same high school. So I tell the director all about the thing he put me through and that I while I don't about his professional experience, I do know that he's a terrible person.
This got me thinking though that he's obviously looking for a job after college. So I call up friends from my old jobs. I ask them about people applying for jobs and surprise surprise, he applied to those places too. I tell them about his history with me in the past and again, I can't speak about him professionally, but personally I think he's a jerk.
He didn't get those jobs either. I got my middle school/high school bully blacklisted from working in his field in our hometown. I don't feel bad.
20. Hating takes a lot of effort
There was this girl (we'll call her Karen) who used to terrorize me in middle school for having no friends, being pretty socially awkward, and being poor. She made my life a living hell all throughout middle school and I became extremely isolated and depressed in that time because of the things she made me feel and believe about myself. I have hated her for years, so much so that I think about her at least once every couple of months.
I literally met her at a bar last night, so this question is pretty timely. Turns out she's dating a guy who's a friend of one of my close friends. She kept looking at me weirdly and I thought she was just being the snooty jerk I remembered from years ago. I was there with my boyfriend and several friends, so I managed to avoid her for most of the night. Then, our mutual friend calls my boyfriend over and I have to either follow or stand awkwardly several feet away by myself.
After a few more minutes of weird looks, she came up and asked me, "Hey, um, are you [my name]?
Yeah... are you Karen?"
"Yeah. Hey, we went to middle school together right?"
"Yeah I was a horrible person back then. I'm really, really sorry."
And with that, we ended up buying each other drinks for the rest of the night and bonding over our jobs (we ended up going into really similar fields). We both work with kids now, and we talked about the effects of bullying on them. She kept apologizing, and I can tell the person she is now is completely removed from the person I knew in school.
I feel kind of weightless today. Didn't even know how much effort hating her took until it was gone.
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21. What a way to waste a good life
He constantly picked fights with everyone. One time he ran up to my friend who was in his car and opened the door and started beating him, for no reason!
Fast forward to after we all graduated college (well not the bully but my friends) and we go to get gas. He's the cashier and looks like he's been doing heroin. And his other friend who was also a bully died from drug overdose that year. Sad way to waste a good life, their families had more than enough to provide them with a good education. But instead the guys just went off the deep end with drugs.
He used to bully me terribly, ruined my woodwork project in 7th grade. He dropped out in 9th grade and is currently serving jail time for because last year he stabbed someone over a drug ordeal.
23. Finding bullies on Facebook
I got on Facebook and checked things out about the guy I got in fights a lot with in middle school. Looks like he's married, but he doesn't share much to the public on Facebook. Looks happy, at least. Good for him, I learned in high school he acted out because his parents were going through a nasty divorce.
Another guy I got bullied a lot by in high school turned out alright. I think he manages a commercial tire store. I talk to him on Facebook now and then and we talk about hunting and fishing. Nice guy.
I got teased and bullied a lot in school, and I've had several people from back then message me on Facebook and apologize. I don't really place any blame - admittedly I was a weirdo in school. I started kindergarten at age 4, so I was younger than most in my grade by a year or two. I graduated at 17. My parents didn't help the situation, they made sure I dressed like a dingus and didn't keep up with the current styles.
So, I was dressed like a dork, immature, and it took me until junior year to make any real friends.