There's a bride in this article who dips her breasts into her wedding cake. Yeah, it's that trashy.
I would normally have a whole sort of relevant (and totally rambling) story to tell you before we got to the meat of the article but ... you guys... the things I have just read. I just... Guys... I am not okay.
One reddit user asked:
What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?
I thought I was ready. I really did. I was not. I seriously underestimated what people are capable of - especially when alcohol is involved. Here are some of the stories that had people cringing the hardest. What you're about to get yourself into is ... um ... educational and intense. Brace yourself, folks. It's about to go down...
Honesty Is The Best Policy
There was no alcohol being served as the reception hall in the church basement had super strict rules about alcohol. So all the guests snuck in alcohol. The mother of the groom had a 24 case of coors under her table. People had full sized bottles of vodka hidden in their jackets it was messy. Then after the wedding the after party was at this super divey college bar where the bride got so drunk the groom had to carry her back to their hotel where she finished the night drunkenly eating chicken nuggets in the giant penthouse suite bathtub.
In the interest of honesty...this was my wedding and I was the chicken nugget eating bride.
Who?
GiphyI went to a wedding where the bride and groom's first dance was to Who Let The Dogs Out... everyone just looked on speechless as they slow danced to it. Then half way through it turned into a slutty grind session. Nobody thought it would last but they're still together.
Low Class
Did a wedding where the grooms mom was so against the marriage, she thought the bride was too "low class" for her precious boy. Of course, the correct way to deal with the wedding was to drink as much as possible. As I was leaving the reception, the groom was standing over some bushes, and his mom was lying in them, legs in the air, dress around her head, flailing about like a tortoise on its back and the groom saying "Mom! Get up please! This is embarrassing!"
I later found out that the grooms mom sat at her chair in the reception later that evening, leaned over to the side and just puked on the floor. And a few minutes later sh!t herself while sitting at dinner. For somebody so concerned about how "low class" the bride was, she sure showed her!
No Reservations
My brother-in-law's wedding was a trashfest. And they had known each other about 3 months and she had already been divorced 2 times. They had the wedding party take pictures in a random graveyard. Then they left trash all over the headstones(which my husband and I picked up because who does that). They then got married at a park pavilion that they didn't rent out so we got kicked out halfway through since it was reserved to someone. She threw a fit and tried to punch the police but somehow didn't get arrested. Then their reception was at this nicer steak place ($50+ meals) but they didn't pay for any of the food or drinks! Plus they didn't reserve anything so we had to wait 2 hours for a room that fit 80 people. So we had to wait in the lobby until 7pm. Which would be fine but they didn't tell anyone that they weren't paying so everyone was mad because some people didn't bring enough money so at the end of the meal some people left without paying their bill and my mother in law got stuck paying around $800 to cover those peoples bills because my bil wasn't gonna pay. She also had to pay the bride and husbands bill too because they wanted to get drunk(which was about $200!)
Also the marriage only lasted about 2 years so there's that. Of course they had a kid right away so that been a mess. She took off and bil is now a single dad who makes $10 a hour and is mooching off my mil.
Florida
I went to a wedding in Florida where the bride wore a mini skirt and was given away by her ex husband, with whom she and her new husband still lived.
The Plastic Headache
So the first thing we see when we walk in is the groom's teenage brother making out with his girlfriend with wild abandon - right next to the gift table. The bride had dyed the grooms hair the night before. She did it badly so he had splotches of black hair dye all over his ears and hairline.
The bride herself was falling out of her strapless dress that was at least two cup sizes too small and she had a stains ( I think of food?) all down the front. She was very drunk and was not seen without her special bottles of Smirnov Ice. The "open bar" served only cheap white wine in Dixie cups ( described as " a plastic headache" by those that drank it) and a cooler of Bud Light for the bride and groom only. I do not remember there being food. The venue looked like a Las Vegas 90's funeral parlor- forest green carpet with mirrors, fake ivy and brass everywhere. We didn't stay long but the plastic headache lingered well into the next day.
Bridal Boobs
GiphyIt was a coworker of my then husband. She was a really pretty girl, marrying her hard partying boyfriend. They were both hard partying, to be fair. It was a MESS.
A few days before the wedding she mentioned that they had forgotten to hire a musician. I happened to have a good friend with a pretty great band, and I got them hooked up. The bride was super appreciative and decided I was her best friend. She invites me out for a celebratory drink, and then tries to make out with me in the parking lot. She's hot, and I'm bi - but I'm also married and she's my husband's co-worker. I exit gracefully, and decide it was just because she was drunk / has wedding nerves.
Fast forward to the wedding.
The guests all arrive in a public town square gazebo where the ceremony is to take place. We all wait, and wait, and wait. The musician, the minister, and about 60 guests just standing around hoping they show. The finally arrive and both bride and groom are sh*t faced. They are accompanied by the office manager, who has stepped into a mother role for the bride (though the bride's parents are alive and present), and is paying for the entire ordeal. The office manager is sobbing. We find out later they were late because the bride could not find her passport and in a drunken rage started berating the office manager for being worthless in her efforts to help her pack for her honeymoon.
The ceremony is rather uneventful and everyone walks to a local restaurant on the town square where we will have a sit down dinner and reception. Full open bar, of course. Everyone just mills around and chats while we are waiting on dinner... except for the bride who is taking shots with the bar staff.
Dinner is served and we all take our assigned seats. As they are bringing salads, the bride plops down between my husband and I. She asks if we're swingers. I inform her that we are not, and she starts LOUDLY telling us that it's a good thing because she and her new husband had a threesome just recently and now she can't get the image of him f*cking this other girl out of her brain. She is getting really worked up and giving us graphic details of the encounter. The office manager whisks her away and we don't see her again for the rest of the meal.
After dinner people started dancing. I was out on the dance floor with a few friends and here comes the bride. She drags me away and starts rubbing and grinding on me. Every time I try to gracefully maneuver elsewhere, she finds me and starts rubbing on me again. The pinnacle of the dancing was when she walked over to her own wedding cake, removed her breast from her dress, dipped it in the frosting, and came over and asked me to lick it off. I declined, and her new husband swooped in for the honors.
At that point both her parents and the office manager left in disgust.
My husband and I, along with some friends, headed on out at that point. We went a few doors down to a bar to play a few rounds of pool and get some space from the craziness. But our plan was foiled when crazy followed us. I was leaning forward, about to take a shot, when the bride literally grabbed my crotch from behind.
She was swaying at this point and barely coherent. She had a change of clothes with her and asked me to help her get changed. I was honestly afraid to leave her in the bathroom alone, so I agreed to help. She then walked into the men's room, and found her new husband. This led to her screaming wildly, throwing anything not nailed down, and accusing her husband of cheating on her with the chick from the threesome.
I had enough and left at this point. We asked the bar to please call them a cab, and went on home. The whole night was completely surreal.
A few days later, I was hanging out with my musician friend who played at the wedding. He was looking really uncomfortable and finally came clean about the rest of the night. Apparently the bride kept requesting songs by taking her flashing him and saying please - and she slipped him her number as a "thank you".
Just all around classy.
Orange Faygo
Husband's child hood friend had their wedding at his mother's trailer park playground. The men in the wedding party wore t-shirts with tuxedo print, the women wore hot pink shorts with black spaghetti strap tank-tops and flip flops.
They were both ICP fans and the wedding party sprayed them with Orange Faygo when leaving.
- Spliteer
The Soundtrack
Went to a couple's wedding and the couple was a little older (probably in their 50s). I'm just going to start with the bridesmaid dresses. The bridesmaids were all in their 50-60s and were in the most unflattering best-of-the-80s style dresses, I swear they found some deal at a thrift store, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the soundtrack.
The bride walked down the aisle to organ music (which is altogether not a beautiful instrument, IMO) anyway, before the organ music stops, a country song starts playing. My mom and I looked at each other somewhat horrified with a look of "I feel so bad for the couple that this is happening" because we thought it was clearly a mistake.
It wasn't.
I'm not a country fan so I can't tell you songs or artists, but I'll do my best to explain. The song was about a bride walking down the aisle. While the entire song played, we all just sat and watched the bride and groom standing at the altar holding hands and awkwardly mouthing the words to each other.
Then the couple exchanged vows, another entire country song came on about exchanging vows, and we all watched as they stood there mouthing the words to each other at the altar.
Then they exchanged rings and, you guessed, it another song about rings came on. You would think and hope that would be it, but you would be wrong, because we also looked on as two more country songs came on after they kissed - one about the kiss and another one about how they were finally married.
I'm not even done yet.
The couple had not one but three preachers and two of them were married. The male pastors sermon before the wedding was all irrelevant stories about his wedding day and how being married was so hard which included some victimy tirade about how men give up their right to win an argument when they get married. His wife looked so pissed the whole time.
The reception was terrible too, but they had food, so I can put up with more when I have food. Also their big wedding favor was hand sanitizer that said "keep calm and carry on" and it also had their names and wedding date on it. All around it was a cringe-fest, but at least I get to share it with you all!
Everyone Saw
The biker one, where the bride wore a red leather mini skirt wedding dress. Everyone, and I mean everyone saw her vagina when she got on the bike to ride to the reception.
No Shirts, Yes Ties
Oh BOY, have I got a story for you. When I was younger, I went to the wedding of my close friend's older brother. Now, this was in like 2006 or something, so definitely pre-Pinterest, but I still can't believe some of the stuff they did.
First of all, they did their wedding photos on a tractor in the mud. On like a cheap digital camera that the bride's mom had. The groomsmen did not have on shirts, but they did have on ties. The wedding colors were camouflage and traffic cone orange. At the reception, instead of a wedding cake they had sliced up Swiss Rolls and other Little Debbie snack cakes on some plastic trays. They also had "hours d'oeuvres" that consisted of little cut up pieces of cold cut lunch meats and cheese with a toothpick through them.
Off To See The Wizard
GiphyI went to a wizard of Oz themed wedding. Bridesmaids walked in to "If I Only Had a Brain."
Mom's Reception
I immediately thought of my mom's second wedding. The ceremony itself was fine. My mom wore a purple dress because it was her favorite color and she looked beautiful. My step dad and the groomsmen wore slacks with white button ups and cowboy hats. It was on a gazebo on a small lake. Overall, simple and nice. The reception, though, was at the best mans house which was a dump and there was a kiddy pool full of jungle juice. One of the guests had a staph infection on his hand, which he dunked into the pool when he got a drink.
The Wedding That Ruined A Funeral
My cousins's wedding.
The ceremony itself was at a public beach, which they did not reserve in any way. They set up right at the entrance rather than moving further along. They had some redneck friends act as "bouncers" and they ended up threatening random people trying to scare them away from the area.
There were no speeches or thank you's or anything during the reception, which is probably for the best. At one point the bride stuck her head in to the hall and shouted that she needed 15 minutes to go smoke some weed. They had people's dogs and naked babies running all over the place.
The groom spent the entire time crying and they broke up the next day.
Later we found out that when they first started sleeping together the groom was 14 and my cousin, the bride, was 17. He's of legal age now, but I don't blame him. Run away kid.
Here's the cherry on top.
My grandfather passed away recently and the family wanted to use that same reception hall to host his "celebration of life" ceremony - only to find out we are not welcome there anymore thanks to whatever my cousin did.
- Korrin
Super Awkward And Raunchy
The DJ was the groom's friend and also worked at the local strip club. He was decent at first but things got super awkward and raunchy during the toasts. Many uncomfortable glances were shared.
Blockbuster Boss
My boss from Blockbuster Video asked me to stand in his wedding randomly. They got married next to a gazebo in this random patch of dirt/grass. I had to run the music off this tiny boombox for the bridal procession. One guy wore a nascar tshirt and matching hat for the ceremony and reception. It was an interesting crowd for sure but still ended up being fun because it wasn't serious at all. They are still together.
For The Bride
One time i went to a wedding where the groom ordered a stripper for the bride
"I Found Her Uterus!"
GiphyMy aunt and uncle when they got married. She tied a chicken leg to her thigh and wore it there for the entire wedding so than they could play a trashy prank. The groom went under her dress for the garter and came out with (and tossed) the chicken leg instead. To make it better he screamed "I found her uterus!"
My grandparents were so taken aback. Needless to say we all left pretty early.
"How Many People Here Are Packing?"
My wife's niece (18) was married at the "Little White Wedding Chapel" in Las Vegas. When the minister pronounced them man and wife a series of clicks when through the audience. Maybe a dozen or so. I thought people were taking pictures but there were no flashes. I was confused.
Afterwards we were all milling around waiting to go to the reception. I was talking to my wife and her two sisters and asked them about the clicks. The conversation was baffling:
Wife -"Those were the hammers all being put down after the SOB married her."
Me -"Hammers? Like on guns?"
Wife's oldest sister -"Yeah."
Me -"How many people here are packing?"
Wife's middle sister, nonchalantly -"All of us."
I called bullsh*t on that at which time they all opened their purses. 3 women, 3 purses, 3 guns; two 9mm semi's and a revolver. My wife had a revolver on her and I literally had no idea. She said it was a loaner. I guess this is just a thing they do? I think I'm married to the mob.
The Gun Range Wedding
I went to a wedding in Iowa that was at a gun shooting range. It was a pot luck and they served keg beer. At the reception (which was a bonfire at the bride's house) the groom and his brother got into a fist fight. The brother hopped in a minivan trying to drive away, but the van got stuck in the mud - so the groom just choked him out.
Tell us all about the trashiest wedding you've ever witnessed.
The One Secret People Will Never Tell Their Significant Other
Reddit user spinx248 asked: 'What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?'
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.
There are few feelings worse than ending a relationship and getting your heart broken.
Even when people end things "amicably", there is still a lot of pain and sadness that comes with it.
What's more, when someone was such a major part of your life for such a long time, it might be a while before a day goes by when you don't think about them at least once.
As a result, whether the breakup happened the previous day or many years ago, people will go to great lengths to find ways to stop thinking about their former partners and move on with their lives.
"What’s the best way to get over an ex?"
Dive Into A Hobby
"When my wife left me I immediately started a woodworking project."
"I had to stop and cry every hour or so but at least I had my mind occupied some of the time."- Ozonewanderer
"Find a new hobby."
"Something to occupy your mind in your free time."
"Something easily accessible that can cost very little if you’d like it to."
"Dungeons and Dragons, a period of history, buy an inexpensive guitar and learn to play, things like that."- MrsAndMrGee
Stop Holding On...
"The biggest thing for me is to let go."
"Let go of everything you were looking forward to."
"Everything you wanted to do."
"You no longer want to do those things."
"Every time you begin down a conversation in your head you wanted to have, let go."
"It’s hard but you’ve got to reformulate your life without them."
"They’re not coming back."- mistaniceguy
"The Longest Distance Between Two Places."
"Time."
"It takes a lot of time."
"Can't fast forward it."- CpuJunky
Unplug!
"I know it sounds very cliché but just go on about your day, and for the love of every single god do not stalk their social media it'll only make it harder for you."
"It will hurt the first few weeks of course, nothing you can do about that."
"Also, find a hobby or meet new people, maybe start doing something you used to before you started dating but stopped because you didn't have the time anymore."
"My last breakup was a relationship that lasted almost 7 years, that bad feeling lasted a few months and I started dating someone else one year after that."
"I'm really emotional so if I survived that, you'll be just fine."- ChillOnTheHillz
Tell Them How You Really Feel... Without Actually Telling Them.
"It gets easier with time, but goes faster if you take steps to get in the proper mindset."
"I became a man-whore for a while."
"It was distracting, but it felt so empty."
"What helped me the most was writing her a long email about her faults and sh*tty behavior."
"If you do this, don't hold anything back."
"Do NOT send this email."
"It's therapy for you, not for them."- Ben_Thar
Think It Over
"Actually rationalize it."
"Understand your loss and why you might think you lost more than you really did."
"If it ended because they didn't love you or loved you less than you loved them, understand that you only lost someone who didn't love you, so in reality you didn't lose anything of real worth."
"You'd never be happy long term in a relationship where they didn't truly love you back."- Furicist
Put Yourself First
"I found the best way to get over an ex was to date myself."
"Sounds sooooo cheesy, I know. but I spent time rediscovering this new me."
"I spent a LOT of time with my family and friends, I volunteered, I explored my hobbies, took on a few more shifts at work basically loving on myself."
"It helped me a lot!"- LikeINeverSaid
At The End Of The Day, There Is No Right Or Wrong
"Went through this for the first half of this year and still struggle occasionally, so here are my few cents."
"When you catch yourself starting an imaginary conversation or ruminating on them, acknowledge it and bring your mind away from it."
"Focus on the present."
"Practicing meditation will help you do this more effectively."
"Work out."
"If you do a challenging activity like running you’ll be busy thinking about the fact that you’re f*cking dying and still have a ways to go before you get back home, and your breakup will be the least of your concerns at that moment."
"In the end you’ll feel good because you actually did something, and you’ll feel like you’re making progress on something."
"Vent to your friends."
"You’ll annoy them eventually, but that’s okay for now."
"If you don’t want to annoy your friends, vent to chatGPT.""It may sound stupid, but it’ll acknowledge your feelings and give you some generic advice."
"It’ll help get things out of your system."
"Read 'Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love'."
"I burned threw this book in a couple of days and it was like therapy."
"Do a quick search and you’ll find the audiobook for free on YouTube."
"Going to a few therapy sessions will help you work through your feelings with someone who’s there to give you their full attention for an hour."
"Write a list of things you didn’t like about your ex."
"If they dumped you for no reason other than 'I’m just not feeling it' or blindsided you, they are untrustworthy, lack communication skills and are incapable of committing and putting in the work necessary for a relationship."
"That’s not the person you want to be with and that should be item #1."
"Otherwise, I’m sure you can think of things to write down."
"Join a new club, sign up for a class, start doing a new hobby, make new friends."
"If the breakup is extremely recent (less than 2 weeks), let yourself be sad."
"Let it wash over you, experience it, accept that heartbreak is the most human of emotions."
"We all go through it, there are millions of people on the same boat as you right now."
"Cry, lay down and do nothing, listen to sad music, do all of that, but once the two weeks are up you have to stop. It’s time to do the things I described above."
"This is a time for you to reconnect with yourself and find who you want to be apart from the influence of someone else."
"This is your opportunity to level up."
"This is a months long process, but you got this and I’m rooting for you!"- Zwolfer
Patience Is A Virtue...
"Wait 30 years and it eventually goes away."- prajnadhyana
Just Find The Joy... Except In Your Relationship...
"Oh man here we go."
"Excercise and try to do things that make you feel better about yourself, new outfit/hairdo etc."
"Surround yourself with friends and family."
"Plan fun events with them etc."
"Write down the terrible things from the relationship."
"Your brain will try to remember the best."
"Don't forget why it's over."
"Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT. Try to contact them."
"Be strong. "
"Erase their phone number."
"Unfollow social media."
"Contacting them will only result in being ignored (more pain) or receiving a response that might continue hope of a future."
"Best of luck."
"Sh*t isn't easy, but it WILL GET EASIER."
"Not immediately, but it will."- littlemegzz
Some relationships simply aren't meant to be.
Which doesn't make getting over ending them any easier.
But dwelling in the past will never do any good, the only thing to do is move forward and accept the present for what it is: a present.
Sex work is work. Honest work.
It feels like the opinion on this issue is slowly turning.
So that opens us all to a lot of progress.
But is it progress in every area of life?
Let's discuss porn stars.
We support them. We support their work.
But would we accept one in the family?
Would any of us enter into a romance with one?
Or someone akin to them?
Redditor Throwaway4561947373 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on dating options, so they asked:
"Would you ever date a pornstar? Why or why not?"
I did briefly date a porn star.
It was fun. But I'm way too jealous.
Schedule
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"I dated a stripper. Her schedule was the real deal breaker. Well, that and her cocaine addiction, but that's beside the point."
C-C-C-Coolah
"The schedule thing was kind of nice at first because I value my alone time, but after a while the showing up at my house at 530am before I went to work was starting to make me feel really gross."
C-C-C-Coolah
No Mas
"I dated a stripper once. Craziest couple of months of my life. I still have no idea how old she is or what her actual life story is/was. The sex was shockingly tame, but she did have awesome ti*s. Not a chapter in my life I’d like to revisit tho haha."
Climate_Face
"I had a roommate who was dating a stripper and eventually dating her 'show partner' at the same time. It was a very wild 5 months where he got almost no sleep (schedule thing, not sex thing) and eventually said 'no mas.' Turned out there was too much of a good thing."
ksuwildkat
Wild
"I don’t think I personally could. Little too wild of a lifestyle/profession for me."
JessiePeteWhite
"Also, just imagining dealing with the fans that come from dating a regular celebrity makes me feel uneasy. The kind of people who'd seek out a pornstar in public would be a whole other level of cringe."
Poignant_Porpoise
"I wonder how you envisage their lifestyle. Plenty of them live normal lives and just go to work like anyone else. And especially with how many are independent these days the work is a lot more in their control and safer."
Athaelan
Patreon
"I dated a girl who sold nudes on Patreon back in the day. When we first started dating I knew she had nudes up on deviant art, bit didn't know about the Patreon. She never liked going out during the day except if we went to the movies. One day I got the tines for the different theaters mixed up."
"Got there, the next shoeing was in an hour, so we said f**k it and went to the cafeteria (the theater was attached to a mall) and ate some food. Some random chubby dude comes out excited and out of breath calling her by her handle saying he buys a bunch of her pictures and he couldn't believe he was meeting her."
"We were both frozen. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to scare the guy off or let her try to make another sale while she thought I was gonna be pi**ed that she didn't tell me about her Patreon. We laughed about it later."
AshyBoneVR4
About the $$$
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Thought about dating a stripper but even outside the club when we just hang out as friends she’s very monetary about everything. If I have to pay a service fee to hang out with you then I’d rather just not."
Keyguin
Always follow the money.
That's where the truth is.
Work
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"No, because I'd feel like I was asking them to work whenever I wanted to have sex. I never said it was a rational thought, people."
Froticlias
Do what you Gotta!
"I dated a porn star for a bit. he was straight but did mostly gay shoots because it's higher paid. when he would tell me he had a good day at work it usually would mean that everyone was being cooperative or something funny happened."
night-gloss
"I have a friend that’s a porn star, and she said sex on set is very different from sex with someone you love/care about."
Gogh619
"That makes sense, but I could still imagine feeling like you’ve been touched and simulated so much that doing it more seems overwhelming, even if emotionally you would want to do it. And if you’re a guy you might not have much left in the tank so to speak."
Leet_Noob
For Love
"It's easy to say I wouldn't judge but in all honesty pretty sure many people wouldn't be comfortable, some would be I guess but most wouldn't. I think it all falls down to when you are dating them if you are truly in love enough to allow this or well maybe you like they do that anyway, it's really hard to say in real life."
DemonCyborg27
Lack of Potential
"Definitely not. Whenever I've dated someone, I've been at least open to the possibility of it potentially turning into marriage and a family; I would not want my kids to have to deal with that. Can you imagine going through your teens, with people sending you clips of your mum doing whatever to and with whoever? Your teenage years can be a tough enough experience by their own merit; let alone adding in that crap."
J-in-the-UK
A Current Affair
"A former pornstar and I wouldn't have an issue, we all have a past after all. An active pornstar though would be a serious no from me. I know I wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another person while they are with me, it being their job wouldn't matter."
votemarvel
Well to each their own.
Just be nice about people's choices.
Adults, who told you that you were going to have to come up with something to eat, three times per day, every day, for the rest of your life?
That fact feels like a false advertisement for life sometimes, but there are ways of making what can be a tough requirement go much smoother than what some of us may be currently putting up with.
Redditor Penya23 asked:
"What are some cooking hacks you swear by?"
Reduce Waste with Water
"Revive veggies that have lost their water by cutting their edges and soaking them in cold water. Lettuce, carrots, and celery will be crisp again."
- Rosy180
"Old produce guy here. Luke warm water is best, then refrigerate. The warm water makes the plant cells open more to absorb more water; while the refrigerator makes them hard to retain water and crisp."
- tjipa84
Buy the Good Scissors
"A quality set of scissors will save you so much hassle..."
- Mitchs_Frog_Smacky
"They should be able to disassemble at the hinge point for cleaning purposes."
- adamadamada
"And for sharpening. I hate MLMs as much as the next gal, but those d**n Cutco scissors my mom has are still going strong 25 years later."
- burnt00toast
Perfect and Easy Stuffed Shells
"When making stuffed shells by hand, mix the filling in a zip-lock bag, then cut a corner off and use it as a makeshift piping bag to fill the shells."
- PApauper
Include That Extra Zing
"If your food is bland even though you've added salt, then it's missing acidity. Lemon juice, lime juice, or vinegar are easy additions."
- PhreedomPhighter
Use the Power of Salt
"Salting your food 20 to 40 minutes before cooking makes a world of difference in the salt permeating the food."
- illusiveXIII
"Pat the meat dry first, then salt. This shift in osmolarity between the surface and the inside allows better penetration if the salt."
- tossthedice511
The Soy Sauce Secret
"I use soy sauce in a lot of stews and soups to help bring out savory flavors. My minestrone, for instance, usually has some soy sauce in it."
- potentialEmployee248
Don't Forget the Cocoa Powder
"Don't knock unsweetened cocoa powder. I add this to stews and chilis, and it adds a rich depth of flavor, and no one can pick out the cocoa."
- rthaw
"Everybody raves about my pecan pie and always wants me to make them for potlucks or gatherings. It’s literally the Karo syrup bottle recipe with a teaspoon of cinnamon, the tiniest dash of ginger, and 1.5 tablespoons of cocoa powder, and it’s exactly like you mentioned, a depth of flavor without actually tasting like chocolate."
- loyalpagina
MSG is Not All Bad
"Try a little powdered MSG. It will make any stew better. Chili and gumbo in particular really benefit, in my honest opinion."
- Red_Spork
"It's not called Makes Stuff Good for nothing."
- aquila-audax
Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
"Not my tip, but my wife browns the butter before she adds it to chocolate chip cookie dough and they're the best freakin cookies I've ever eaten!"
- dcbluestar
"If my recipe calls for cinnamon or other spices and melted butter, I let the spices cook in the butter for a bit to bloom them."
- screech_owl_kachina
Know the Difference Between Spices
"One thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn was that some spices are fat-soluble, and others are water-soluble."
"When I first started learning to cook, I wanted to figure out how to use each of the common spices."
"I put a dab of paprika on my finger, licked it, and it tasted like... nothing. I concluded that it was a useless spice and took it out of my cooking."
"I was wrong, of course. Paprika is fat-soluble, so when I put it straight on my tongue, there was nothing that could break it down. If I'd mixed it with oil or butter first, the taste would've been apparent."
"We have to be conscious of this in our cooking. Water-soluble compounds can be readily broken down by the saliva in our mouths, but fat-soluble ones need to be mixed with a fat (e.g. 'bloomed' in butter)."
"And a lot of spices (including garlic and cinnamon) contain both types of compounds, so they'll have one flavor on their own, but a different, fuller flavor when bloomed."
- FutureBlackmail
Easy Safety is the Best Safety
"Leaving a potholder on the handle of a cleaned cast iron pan to let anyone who might put it away know it may be hot as it cools down."
- Huntsmart2000
"Ditto for any skillet that comes out of the oven after roasting or braising. A towel immediately goes over the handle to remind myself not to instinctively go for the handle."
- Drach85
Avoid That Bitter Note
"If a recipe says to sauté onions and garlic together at the same time, DON'T."
"Do the onions first, and then add the garlic when the onions are just about done. Garlic can be over sautéed and it takes on a bitter flavor."
- dcbluestar
Prep Before, and Clean As You Go
"Prep everything first. Have all of your veggies cut and ingredients ready. You will be more relaxed."
"Clean as you go. Wash your dishes while waiting for your food to finish cooking. Fewer dishes to deal with at the end of the night."
- Draginia
Nothing Like High-Quality Knives
"Knives, get good knives and a sharpener."
- Pews_TRB
"Also, knife quality has NOTHING to do with how sharp it is in advertising or when you get it."
"If it dulls after cutting a few soft items, you probably got scammed."
- Ciryl_Lynyard
Small Additions Make All the Difference
"If your executive function is betraying you and you rely on microwaveable or premade meals, find something small you can add to make them more substantial and to feel more like a meal."
"Add chopped broccoli to ramen noodles. Cumin and red pepper flakes are great to toss in, too. Cook minute rice with a chicken boullion cube and some butter and pretend it’s risotto."
"My personal favorite is to dump a can of corn into a microwave-safe bowl and mix in a bunch of taco seasoning."
"And if clean-up is a struggle too, use paper plates and bamboo flatware. Disposable chopsticks are super cheap and easy to find online."
"When you’re struggling with depression, fatigue, or anything that makes taking care of yourself harder, taking shortcuts isn’t laziness, it’s how you survive to make those more daunting tasks a little less scary."
"Unrelated: if you’re making a soup or stir fry with lots of veggies, sauté the veggies a bit before adding other ingredients until the onions are translucent. I’m sure there’s some food science reason that this makes soups taste better but I have no idea what it is."
- ThunderDash
"As a multiply disabled person, f**k yes!"
"I swear by those 90 second rice packs. I get Ben's Original (Kroger, $1 sale), as well as Walmart and Target store brands ($1.25 to $1.50). Is it so much more expensive? F**k yes, but it's worth it."
"Frozen vegetables, canned beans, and rotisserie chicken are shortcuts that many poo poo on, but for me, they mean the difference between not eating and eating."
"And my personal favorite, adult Lunchables made from a handful of nuts or a spoonful of nut butter, crudites, and fresh fruit with cheese and crackers/pretzels/mini bread is such an easy thing to throw together and snack on for hours."
- annimdi
While cooking may not be everyone's favorite past time, there are ways to make the whole experience easier, much more enjoyable, and tastier than anything you've whipped up before.