There's a bride in this article who dips her breasts into her wedding cake. Yeah, it's that trashy.
I would normally have a whole sort of relevant (and totally rambling) story to tell you before we got to the meat of the article but ... you guys... the things I have just read. I just... Guys... I am not okay.
One reddit user asked:
I thought I was ready. I really did. I was not. I seriously underestimated what people are capable of - especially when alcohol is involved. Here are some of the stories that had people cringing the hardest. What you're about to get yourself into is ... um ... educational and intense. Brace yourself, folks. It's about to go down...
Honesty Is The Best Policy
There was no alcohol being served as the reception hall in the church basement had super strict rules about alcohol. So all the guests snuck in alcohol. The mother of the groom had a 24 case of coors under her table. People had full sized bottles of vodka hidden in their jackets it was messy. Then after the wedding the after party was at this super divey college bar where the bride got so drunk the groom had to carry her back to their hotel where she finished the night drunkenly eating chicken nuggets in the giant penthouse suite bathtub.
In the interest of honesty...this was my wedding and I was the chicken nugget eating bride.
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom's first dance was to Who Let The Dogs Out... everyone just looked on speechless as they slow danced to it. Then half way through it turned into a slutty grind session. Nobody thought it would last but they're still together.
Did a wedding where the grooms mom was so against the marriage, she thought the bride was too "low class" for her precious boy. Of course, the correct way to deal with the wedding was to drink as much as possible. As I was leaving the reception, the groom was standing over some bushes, and his mom was lying in them, legs in the air, dress around her head, flailing about like a tortoise on its back and the groom saying "Mom! Get up please! This is embarrassing!"
I later found out that the grooms mom sat at her chair in the reception later that evening, leaned over to the side and just puked on the floor. And a few minutes later sh!t herself while sitting at dinner. For somebody so concerned about how "low class" the bride was, she sure showed her!
My brother-in-law's wedding was a trashfest. And they had known each other about 3 months and she had already been divorced 2 times. They had the wedding party take pictures in a random graveyard. Then they left trash all over the headstones(which my husband and I picked up because who does that). They then got married at a park pavilion that they didn't rent out so we got kicked out halfway through since it was reserved to someone. She threw a fit and tried to punch the police but somehow didn't get arrested. Then their reception was at this nicer steak place ($50+ meals) but they didn't pay for any of the food or drinks! Plus they didn't reserve anything so we had to wait 2 hours for a room that fit 80 people. So we had to wait in the lobby until 7pm. Which would be fine but they didn't tell anyone that they weren't paying so everyone was mad because some people didn't bring enough money so at the end of the meal some people left without paying their bill and my mother in law got stuck paying around $800 to cover those peoples bills because my bil wasn't gonna pay. She also had to pay the bride and husbands bill too because they wanted to get drunk(which was about $200!)
Also the marriage only lasted about 2 years so there's that. Of course they had a kid right away so that been a mess. She took off and bil is now a single dad who makes $10 a hour and is mooching off my mil.
I went to a wedding in Florida where the bride wore a mini skirt and was given away by her ex husband, with whom she and her new husband still lived.
The Plastic Headache
So the first thing we see when we walk in is the groom's teenage brother making out with his girlfriend with wild abandon - right next to the gift table. The bride had dyed the grooms hair the night before. She did it badly so he had splotches of black hair dye all over his ears and hairline.
The bride herself was falling out of her strapless dress that was at least two cup sizes too small and she had a stains ( I think of food?) all down the front. She was very drunk and was not seen without her special bottles of Smirnov Ice. The "open bar" served only cheap white wine in Dixie cups ( described as " a plastic headache" by those that drank it) and a cooler of Bud Light for the bride and groom only. I do not remember there being food. The venue looked like a Las Vegas 90's funeral parlor- forest green carpet with mirrors, fake ivy and brass everywhere. We didn't stay long but the plastic headache lingered well into the next day.
It was a coworker of my then husband. She was a really pretty girl, marrying her hard partying boyfriend. They were both hard partying, to be fair. It was a MESS.
A few days before the wedding she mentioned that they had forgotten to hire a musician. I happened to have a good friend with a pretty great band, and I got them hooked up. The bride was super appreciative and decided I was her best friend. She invites me out for a celebratory drink, and then tries to make out with me in the parking lot. She's hot, and I'm bi - but I'm also married and she's my husband's co-worker. I exit gracefully, and decide it was just because she was drunk / has wedding nerves.
Fast forward to the wedding.
The guests all arrive in a public town square gazebo where the ceremony is to take place. We all wait, and wait, and wait. The musician, the minister, and about 60 guests just standing around hoping they show. The finally arrive and both bride and groom are sh*t faced. They are accompanied by the office manager, who has stepped into a mother role for the bride (though the bride's parents are alive and present), and is paying for the entire ordeal. The office manager is sobbing. We find out later they were late because the bride could not find her passport and in a drunken rage started berating the office manager for being worthless in her efforts to help her pack for her honeymoon.
The ceremony is rather uneventful and everyone walks to a local restaurant on the town square where we will have a sit down dinner and reception. Full open bar, of course. Everyone just mills around and chats while we are waiting on dinner... except for the bride who is taking shots with the bar staff.
Dinner is served and we all take our assigned seats. As they are bringing salads, the bride plops down between my husband and I. She asks if we're swingers. I inform her that we are not, and she starts LOUDLY telling us that it's a good thing because she and her new husband had a threesome just recently and now she can't get the image of him f*cking this other girl out of her brain. She is getting really worked up and giving us graphic details of the encounter. The office manager whisks her away and we don't see her again for the rest of the meal.
After dinner people started dancing. I was out on the dance floor with a few friends and here comes the bride. She drags me away and starts rubbing and grinding on me. Every time I try to gracefully maneuver elsewhere, she finds me and starts rubbing on me again. The pinnacle of the dancing was when she walked over to her own wedding cake, removed her breast from her dress, dipped it in the frosting, and came over and asked me to lick it off. I declined, and her new husband swooped in for the honors.
At that point both her parents and the office manager left in disgust.
My husband and I, along with some friends, headed on out at that point. We went a few doors down to a bar to play a few rounds of pool and get some space from the craziness. But our plan was foiled when crazy followed us. I was leaning forward, about to take a shot, when the bride literally grabbed my crotch from behind.
She was swaying at this point and barely coherent. She had a change of clothes with her and asked me to help her get changed. I was honestly afraid to leave her in the bathroom alone, so I agreed to help. She then walked into the men's room, and found her new husband. This led to her screaming wildly, throwing anything not nailed down, and accusing her husband of cheating on her with the chick from the threesome.
I had enough and left at this point. We asked the bar to please call them a cab, and went on home. The whole night was completely surreal.
A few days later, I was hanging out with my musician friend who played at the wedding. He was looking really uncomfortable and finally came clean about the rest of the night. Apparently the bride kept requesting songs by taking her flashing him and saying please - and she slipped him her number as a "thank you".
Just all around classy.
Husband's child hood friend had their wedding at his mother's trailer park playground. The men in the wedding party wore t-shirts with tuxedo print, the women wore hot pink shorts with black spaghetti strap tank-tops and flip flops.
They were both ICP fans and the wedding party sprayed them with Orange Faygo when leaving.
Went to a couple's wedding and the couple was a little older (probably in their 50s). I'm just going to start with the bridesmaid dresses. The bridesmaids were all in their 50-60s and were in the most unflattering best-of-the-80s style dresses, I swear they found some deal at a thrift store, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the soundtrack.
The bride walked down the aisle to organ music (which is altogether not a beautiful instrument, IMO) anyway, before the organ music stops, a country song starts playing. My mom and I looked at each other somewhat horrified with a look of "I feel so bad for the couple that this is happening" because we thought it was clearly a mistake.
I'm not a country fan so I can't tell you songs or artists, but I'll do my best to explain. The song was about a bride walking down the aisle. While the entire song played, we all just sat and watched the bride and groom standing at the altar holding hands and awkwardly mouthing the words to each other.
Then the couple exchanged vows, another entire country song came on about exchanging vows, and we all watched as they stood there mouthing the words to each other at the altar.
Then they exchanged rings and, you guessed, it another song about rings came on. You would think and hope that would be it, but you would be wrong, because we also looked on as two more country songs came on after they kissed - one about the kiss and another one about how they were finally married.
I'm not even done yet.
The couple had not one but three preachers and two of them were married. The male pastors sermon before the wedding was all irrelevant stories about his wedding day and how being married was so hard which included some victimy tirade about how men give up their right to win an argument when they get married. His wife looked so pissed the whole time.
The reception was terrible too, but they had food, so I can put up with more when I have food. Also their big wedding favor was hand sanitizer that said "keep calm and carry on" and it also had their names and wedding date on it. All around it was a cringe-fest, but at least I get to share it with you all!
The biker one, where the bride wore a red leather mini skirt wedding dress. Everyone, and I mean everyone saw her vagina when she got on the bike to ride to the reception.
No Shirts, Yes Ties
Oh BOY, have I got a story for you. When I was younger, I went to the wedding of my close friend's older brother. Now, this was in like 2006 or something, so definitely pre-Pinterest, but I still can't believe some of the stuff they did.
First of all, they did their wedding photos on a tractor in the mud. On like a cheap digital camera that the bride's mom had. The groomsmen did not have on shirts, but they did have on ties. The wedding colors were camouflage and traffic cone orange. At the reception, instead of a wedding cake they had sliced up Swiss Rolls and other Little Debbie snack cakes on some plastic trays. They also had "hours d'oeuvres" that consisted of little cut up pieces of cold cut lunch meats and cheese with a toothpick through them.
Off To See The WizardGiphy
I went to a wizard of Oz themed wedding. Bridesmaids walked in to "If I Only Had a Brain."
I immediately thought of my mom's second wedding. The ceremony itself was fine. My mom wore a purple dress because it was her favorite color and she looked beautiful. My step dad and the groomsmen wore slacks with white button ups and cowboy hats. It was on a gazebo on a small lake. Overall, simple and nice. The reception, though, was at the best mans house which was a dump and there was a kiddy pool full of jungle juice. One of the guests had a staph infection on his hand, which he dunked into the pool when he got a drink.
The Wedding That Ruined A Funeral
My cousins's wedding.
The ceremony itself was at a public beach, which they did not reserve in any way. They set up right at the entrance rather than moving further along. They had some redneck friends act as "bouncers" and they ended up threatening random people trying to scare them away from the area.
There were no speeches or thank you's or anything during the reception, which is probably for the best. At one point the bride stuck her head in to the hall and shouted that she needed 15 minutes to go smoke some weed. They had people's dogs and naked babies running all over the place.
The groom spent the entire time crying and they broke up the next day.
Later we found out that when they first started sleeping together the groom was 14 and my cousin, the bride, was 17. He's of legal age now, but I don't blame him. Run away kid.
Here's the cherry on top.
My grandfather passed away recently and the family wanted to use that same reception hall to host his "celebration of life" ceremony - only to find out we are not welcome there anymore thanks to whatever my cousin did.
Super Awkward And Raunchy
The DJ was the groom's friend and also worked at the local strip club. He was decent at first but things got super awkward and raunchy during the toasts. Many uncomfortable glances were shared.
My boss from Blockbuster Video asked me to stand in his wedding randomly. They got married next to a gazebo in this random patch of dirt/grass. I had to run the music off this tiny boombox for the bridal procession. One guy wore a nascar tshirt and matching hat for the ceremony and reception. It was an interesting crowd for sure but still ended up being fun because it wasn't serious at all. They are still together.
For The Bride
One time i went to a wedding where the groom ordered a stripper for the bride
"I Found Her Uterus!"Giphy
My aunt and uncle when they got married. She tied a chicken leg to her thigh and wore it there for the entire wedding so than they could play a trashy prank. The groom went under her dress for the garter and came out with (and tossed) the chicken leg instead. To make it better he screamed "I found her uterus!"
My grandparents were so taken aback. Needless to say we all left pretty early.
"How Many People Here Are Packing?"
My wife's niece (18) was married at the "Little White Wedding Chapel" in Las Vegas. When the minister pronounced them man and wife a series of clicks when through the audience. Maybe a dozen or so. I thought people were taking pictures but there were no flashes. I was confused.
Afterwards we were all milling around waiting to go to the reception. I was talking to my wife and her two sisters and asked them about the clicks. The conversation was baffling:
Wife - "Those were the hammers all being put down after the SOB married her."
Me - "Hammers? Like on guns?"
Wife's oldest sister - "Yeah."
Me - "How many people here are packing?"
Wife's middle sister, nonchalantly - "All of us."
I called bullsh*t on that at which time they all opened their purses. 3 women, 3 purses, 3 guns; two 9mm semi's and a revolver. My wife had a revolver on her and I literally had no idea. She said it was a loaner. I guess this is just a thing they do? I think I'm married to the mob.
The Gun Range Wedding
I went to a wedding in Iowa that was at a gun shooting range. It was a pot luck and they served keg beer. At the reception (which was a bonfire at the bride's house) the groom and his brother got into a fist fight. The brother hopped in a minivan trying to drive away, but the van got stuck in the mud - so the groom just choked him out.
Tell us all about the trashiest wedding you've ever witnessed.
Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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"Do you know who I am?"
A question which often comes from an exasperated individual, who believes they are entitled to VIP treatment everywhere they go.
Occasionally, these people are indeed household names whom most everyone would likely recognize.
More often than not, however, people might need some reminding as to how or why said individual should be recognized.
Each and every time, though, the arrogant question is never justified, and is often greeted with an appropriate response.
Redditor brotherbrother99 was eager to know the best clap backs to this notorious question, leading them to ask:
"What is the best response to "'Do you know who I am?'"
That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
Need a reminder?
"Did you forget?"- Virtue-Killer-2.Who Am I GIFGiphy
You tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.customer service call center GIFGiphy
I'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121Giphy
Of course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Moviegoers go to the cinema to be transported and forget–even for about two hours–about either the mundanity of their everyday lives or the stress of problematic situations.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
That doesn't happen in real life.
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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Life's viewpoints can be so different when you're younger, when you have your whole life ahead of you, when you think you're fighting back against some tyrannical power bent on keeping your rebel heart in check. It's then, in those rage-filled glory years, you might think, "I'll never become like them. I'm going to keep sticking it to the man."
But years pass, and before you know it, you are "the man."
"What is your "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment?"
You know who you are right now?
Doesn't matter if you responded, "No I'm not!" to that statement. You are your mother. You are your father. And there's nothing you can do about it. Cue evil laughter.
Rhetorical Questions Abound
"I told my friend's kids they could have a toy if they didn't fight over it, and if they fought I would take it back, they agreed, then proceeded immediately fight over it when I turned around. Without any conscious input from my brain I span back and heard myself exclaim "What did I just say?!""
"And suddenly I was my mother."
Coming Round Full Circle
"I teach at my old high school lol literally have coworkers that have sent me to the principal’s office before"
It's Going To Rot Your Brain!
"Complaining to my son about him playing to much video games."
Nothing Better Than Plans Getting Cancelled
"Growing up, my dad hated going out. When we went on church outings, we were always the first family to leave. He just wanted to stay in and read the paper or watch tv. I vowed to never be as boring as him when I got older."
"Now that I'm older, nothing makes me happier than when plans get cancelled and I can just chill at home, and not worry about the commute or how much money I'd have to spend going out. Even if it's something I'm looking forward to like a band I really wanna see, part of me still wants to not go because of how crappy the late night commute will be."
Where Do You Even Sit?
"My couch has no less than 8 decorative pillows on it. I am a monster."
"This is the worst one"
You don't think the job changes you. "I'm never going to sell out to the man," you tell yourself as you wake up at 4am to make your commute to the office.
Little do you know...
It's In The Fine-Print Within The Fine-Print
"I make commercials for a living. I f-cking hate commercials to the core of my soul."
"Ugh dude same."
"I got hired as an animator at an agency not too long ago, so I figured I'd be doing lots of fun and flashy animations. I don't mind making commercials so long as they've got interesting visuals, which is something I greatly enjoy doing."
"I've been making glorified powerpoints about Medicare ever since I got hired. I've frequently received feedback to literally "make it less fun". A project I made 2 years ago, a fun and flashy internal use video, is getting a new iteration that I'll be doing soon. The old version made setting up web pages and product descriptions look interesting."
"They said they didn't like it and to "have less fun" with it, so I plan on being spiteful and making it f-cking awful to sit through. The problem with that is that I know that's exactly what they want."
"I'm reminded of the Pixies from Fairly Odd Parents, and how Timmy and the gang are the exciting antithesis of the drab corporate culture the pixies represent. I didn't think I'd become one. Lord help me."
Karmic Payback Is Amplified In The Classroom
"I was in a computer class in high school and would drive the teachers nuts. I even had the other kids mocking the teachers by shouting out "on task!" whenever the teacher would start looking around to make sure we were working."
"I now teach a high school computer class. A student the other day stopped me before I could tell them to put their phone away and go back to work by saying "I know, I know, on task, on task".
"I was speechless and just left the student to return to my desk and rethink my life choices."
Stopping People From Having Fun
"When I setup the website blocker on the company network. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get around those blockers at school, and now I'm the one setting it up."
"Edit: Admittedly, I'm not so evil as to block things for being categorized as "tasteless" like my school did, it's really just porn and illegal things, but I still feel slimy for doing it."
"Edit 2: Also, so be clear, I don't work at a school. My company does however employ a lot of Salesmen, and they're basically children, so..."
Leaving The Grunt Work To Someone Else
"When I was an apprentice electrician it always pissed me off when my journeyman would make me do the hard manual parts of a job while he did the easier, but more technical work. I always swore that when I got my license and my first apprentice that I’d be different."
"That went out the window pretty quick."
We're products of those who raise us. We take in what they do, what they say, and how they act to become the people the outside world gets to interact with.
It's critical we recognize this, for better or worse.
Seeing, Growing, Learning
"Sh-t, a looooong time ago (when I was 11 or so) I was walking across the school yard. My dad used to beat my butt when he was having a bad day and it really f-cked with me, so I was walking and just fuming, hating on him and how much of a tyrant he was for taking out his anger on me."
"Well, in that moment I bumped into a kid like 1/2 my size and he went to the ground. He hugged my legs (I think reflexively) and I just started pounding his face. I remember him crying, begging me to stop, the hatred, and then just a sudden moment of clarity. I realized I was a sh-tty person, that I was super mean, and that the kid I was hitting had done nothing wrong but was just a helpless target for my anger. I instantly flipped to empathizing for him, and saw myself for who I was. I can't describe the horror."
"I started crying and helping the boy up, we walked to the office together in tears and I ended up telling my principal everything. It was a long time ago, so they just decided to give me an in school suspension and not inform my parents."
"Also, that kid and I ended up exchanging SNES games and playing mtg/warhammer together a bunch in the following years. Andrew, dude, I can't apologize enough, and thank you so much for not leaving me in a hell of my own creation. Decades later and I still think about you, and how kind of a person you were, you changed a life, man."
"EDIT: Okay, just to clear up misconceptions and mass respond. This did not flip a switch and end my relationship with violence and anger. That took, well, up until today and then some. I still have anger that flares up and completely blinds me, but after decades, I'm not losing control or lashing out. Andrew wasn't one of the kids that I went after at school, I picked on kids that I thought were bullies, totally oblivious to the commonalities between me and them."
"I don't really have words for those of you that were bullied, or hurt while at school. Except that those of you that fantasize about beating up bullies now, as adults, need to find a better method for feeling empowered. You are literally just adult versions of playground bullies, we all had the kids that we thought were okay to victimize for some justification or another."
We all have to grow up sometime.
Maybe don't worry so much about picking up that ice cream on the way home.
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