Rules are an imperative part of life, especially when we're growing up. Kids without rules is a recipe for disaster. Now when you're older, sure, rule are made to be broken. But first you have to learn the rules in order to smash them. Often many of us are saddled with some strict family guidelines. But we survived. Well, most of us.
Redditor u/ctsom wanted to hear from everyone about rules of their past by asking..... What was a house rule you had as a kid that you thought was completely normal until you grew up and realized not all households followed?
"Stranded"
GiphyIf you ever ran out of toilet paper whilst on the toilet, you had to sing the "Stranded" song or else no one else in the house would bring you a roll. kteabrown
"sugar bugs"
My parents would check my and my brother's teeth for "sugar bugs" every night after we brushed our teeth, before we got in bed. If they thought we were trying to skip brushing our teeth they would tell us they could see the sugar bugs in our teeth and would make us go brush again.
My brother and I were so convinced these sugar bugs were real we would constantly ask when we'd be able to see them, my parents always told us only people 13 and older could see them, but by the time we got to be 13 we had completely forgotten about the sugar bugs in our teeth.
I love thinking about creative parenting tactics like this, I've even used that one while babysitting a fussy kid who doesn't want to brush their teeth/get ready for bed and it helps a lot. batman1227
Power Off.
My mom freaks out about hearing commercials on TV. The second it goes to commercial break it has to be muted. She also mutes it if she thinks it's about to go to commercial, even though sometimes she's wrong. And she doesn't really pay attention, so she doesn't notice a lot of the time when the commercials are over so she leaves it on mute when the show is back on. It's very difficult to watch TV with her. code_name_jellyfish
Show me the $$$$.....
My mum used to pay me to be my own babysitter between the ages of 10-14 or so. The rule was that as long as I didn't make a mess and I'd put myself to bed by the time she got home then I got $10 in the morning. anxiousjellybean
Only I have two younger brothers, and the rule was that we would ALL get paid, but only if we got along and didn't burn the place down.
It was very effective... Even if we fought while they were away, we'd all be on our best behavior by the time they got back. Didn't want to miss out on that payday. :D tomkel5
Punch Buggie....
GiphyIf you couldn't find something, and you asked someone for help (sibling or parent) and they found it for you, they got to punch you in the arm. dahaoab
Me: Muuuum, where's the whatever?
Mum: If I find it first, I get to smack you.
Me: Nevermind... RandomlyPrecise
Unfair Labors.
I had to wash the dishes every night, even if I wasn't home for the meal. There were times I'd get home from an away basketball game (I was in the team) after 10pm and the dishes had sat since they finished reading around 6:30pm.
My older brother's nightly chore? Take out the garbage.
He'd be done in 2 minutes. I'd have 30+ minutes of washing, drying, putting away, and cleaning up the kitchen. MyBroPoohBear
Off to visit...
We weren't allowed to get into the fridge or the cabinets without asking permission. My family was very poor and we had a limited food budget, so eating something without permission very possibly meant eating one ingredient of a meal my step mother was planning on cooking within the next few days.
I went to friend's houses and they just ate whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. badhairguy
Be Early.
If I told my parents I was leaving at a certain time, I had to leave at that time.
Let's say I told my parents I would leave a party at 9. I couldn't leave at 8:50, or I'd get yelled at/grounded. I couldn't leave at 9:10, or I would get yelled/grounded.
Same thing went for when I was leaving my house to go somewhere. 6lesbianlover9
Doors Open.
My door could only be closed if I was changing clothes.
If my parents suspected that I was hiding anything, they could (and did) go through anything to make sure. Dresser and desk drawers, bags, closet, car, whatever they felt was necessary. Even my mail was fair game. As a result, I got really good at hiding things. DonNatalie
befuddled reasoning....
GiphyNot a rule, but still to this day I am befuddled at my mothers reasoning. When I was a boy we lived in a pretty rural part of Mexico, horrible infrastructure. Power would often go out in the middle of the night. She would proceed to wake my brother and I up, simply to wait until the power came back on.
For the life of me I cannot figure that out. She wasn't afraid of the dark, she just wanted to make sure we saw the power return.
Edit: Every one keeps suggesting because if fire reasons and come to think of it, that actually makes a lot of sense. It's actually how we lost that house. Maybe my mother is clairvoyant. thedraindeimo
The Council is Heard!
GiphyWe had "family council" every Sunday night after dinner. We would sit and say good things that happened that week, share our grievances if we had any (we always did), make a dinner menu, and assign chores.
Frankly, it was stellar parenting. Though, if I mention it to my mother now, she will brag about it for a solid 20 minutes before we can move on. Illarie
No Simpsons......
I had SUPER laid back parents but there were a few certain things that they were randomly crazy strict about.
No gum. No play doh. No cereal with sugar as one of the top 3 ingredients. No Simpsons.
I had basically no rules growing up, but those four things would make them lose their goddamn minds. I still get anxious when I'm chewing gum and I'm 35. SiFiWiRi
To the Bone....
If I got hurt doing a certain activity I wasn't allowed to do that activity again.
My mother ended that rule though when I broke my wrist snowboarding when I was 16 and didn't tell her until a month later when I couldn't move my wrist at all and it required surgery with a bone graft to repair. _njhiker
I had that rule, too. My mom bought me a skateboard. I immediately ate crap on it (as I imagine just about everyone does their first time), and then she took it right back to the store. blankblank
Ask First....
We weren't allowed to eat anything without first asking. Even a glass of water, we were required to ask first. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I would ask his parents if I could eat or drink something if I was hungry or thirsty and it was a hard habit to break when his mom told me I could literally eat or drink anything (other than the alcohol).
It was so weird to just go into the fridge or pantry without permission. I sometimes have to fight the urge to ask my bf if I can eat OUR food in OUR apartment.
When I went to my parent's house over Christmas, I was reprimanded for getting an apple without asking first. It's just all so weird but it used to be so normal. bigmacnpoet
Hands Clean....
GiphyNot mine but my mother in law and her sister will fuss at you if you wash your hands in the kitchen sink. I think that's weird. If there's a sink and some hand soap I say wash away. My wife isn't like that. singuslarity
I just burned this box.
I come from a large family. Any time we'd order pizza, we ordered a few different kinds because, obviously, there were different preferences. Any left overs were left in their respective boxes and placed in the oven.
I did that when I lived with a couple of roommates and of course their reaction was: "I just burned this box. Why was this in the damn oven?" Justgivme1
Hunters....
My Dad used to set up mine and my sister's Easter egg hunts in such a way we followed written clues from place to place, as way to help us learn to read. until I was a young adult, I assumed that was how all kids did Easter egg hunts. QueenElsaArrendelle
When I was young, my mom was big on setting up "treasure hunts" like this for birthdays. I'd have to follow the clues to find my presents. I adored it. beatrixotter
Wakey wakey time.....
Wakey wakey time. No noise annoying mum and dad until 7am. This was a really necessary one bc I was a very early riser as a kid and I loved to talk to my parents. The rule was that I could come to their bed and curl up next to them, but I couldn't talk until 7. It was actually really nice, and made sure I got enough rest myself.
Tragically, once I started rowing like 7 years later, mum and dad had to get up at 4 anyway to get me to the sheds. Sorry guys. moorehawke
Water Sports.
I wasn't allowed to take a shower if I was home alone.
I also learned at age 7 that other households closed the bathroom door when using the toilet and keeping it open was weird. I learned that by keeping the door open at a friend's house, a friend walked by the bathroom, saw me, told their mom, their mom called my mom, and all of a sudden the new house rule was we close the bathroom door when using the toilet. gothchrysallis
Permission First!
GiphyAny of the kids (7 of us) can play with any toy that is left out. The owner of the toy can't take it back until whoever's playing with it is done. If the toy is put away in the owner's room, permission must be asked. JetScootr
It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.
Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.
Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.
Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.
Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:
"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"
15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...
"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."
"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."
"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."
"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."
"And received absolutely nothing."
"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"
"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."
"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"
"'It's going to be huge!'"
"We all sit around the TV."
"It's February 2000."
"Boom, there's my uncle!"
"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."
"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."
"My uncle is screaming."
"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"
"We still have it on VHS somewhere."
"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988
Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyPreserved For Posterity...
"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt
Oops!
"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."
"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."
"He was married."- Fezig
Close Call
"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."
"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."
"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."
"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinja
Tiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphyUnpaid Extra
"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."
"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."
"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan
Right Place At The Right Time?
"A fight broke out at a HS football game."
"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'
"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr
Awww...
"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-You
Illustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphyStrike!
'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125
How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?
"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·
Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphySetting An Example...
"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."
"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."
"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419
Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...
"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."
"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."
"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."
"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."
"Got charged and everything."
"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU
Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...
"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."
"He returned it."
"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."
"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."
"He did it really well, too."
"He also didn't talk much."
"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."
"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80k
Animated GIFGiphySome people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.
Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...
Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...
People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.
Maybe it's the euphoria.
Maybe it's the adrenaline.
Maybe it's the tequila.
It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.
Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.
Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"
The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"
Geography matters.
Morbid Much?
In Bed Home GIFGiphy"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."
Vixxay
Meow
"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."
shlanky369
"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."
"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"
"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."
Trumpet6789
POP!
"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"
"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."
DasBatt
"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."
"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."
Straystar-626
Damn it's Good
"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"
"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."
"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."
draftstone
A Binding Contract
"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."
"Still together 5 years later!"
Tatarstan
It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.
And it all starts with a handshake.
Sleep on It
“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"
lennyukdeejay
"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."
EvilNinjaX24
"This is the best one."
TomKhatacourtmayfind
Tiny Dancer
"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."
fleetwoodsackk
"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."
striker180
Fine!
"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"
"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."
Fullyme
"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”
OrwellWasRight101
Amen
"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"
"I married her, we still goin' at it."
BeBearAwareOK
Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user callmejari asked:
"What's the weirdest compliment you have received?"
Zzzzz...
"Someone once told me that my voice was so soothing, it could put a crying baby sloth to sleep."
~ Marena-Cris-18
GiphyWhat About My Sneeze?
"'Your cough sounds nice' Was just a random girl on the train."
"Still throws me off 2 years later."
~ ThatGothDinosaur
GiphyHope It’s Not SpongeBob
"A 5-year-old kid told me he liked me because I looked like a cartoon."
~ Sea_Ganache620
Giphy
Unfulfilled Potential
"I have nice wide birthing hips."
"I'm a guy."
~ kudzufarmer
"You got the foundation for it, you're just missing the plumbing."
~ ARoundForEveryone
Giphy
Wrong Hemisphere, But Thanks
"When I was 16 working the drive thru—'You’re the prettiest Arabic girl I’ve ever seen'."
"I’m Mexican. But thank you ma’am."
~ 3sp00py5me
GiphyWas His Name Vlad?
"'You've got beautiful veins'."
"By the guy that injected my contrast before an MRI."
~ Reblax837
Werner Herzog Halloween GIF by Arrow VideoGiphyIt Keeps My Teeth In Place
"Some random NYC man told me I had a nice chin once. I still think about him."
~ pssht07070707
GiphyNever Skip Leg Day
"I was told by a woman walking behind me on stairs that I had great calves."
"It was kind of weird at the time."
~ Sider-Pride
Not The BBQ Ones
"'I like your ribs'."
"From random girl at a pool party during a music festival."
~ Particular-Natural12
GiphyCleaning Up On Aisle 5
"I delivered bread to grocery stores in the 90’s and when I decided to change routes, the young lady who had always checked me in told me she’d really miss the sound of my voice."
~ OGGBTFRND
GiphyBloody Offal
"One time I was at the doctor for some lower back pain getting an ultra sound and the tech looked me dead in the eye and said 'You have really nice kidneys. They're very plump.'"
"Best strange compliment I ever received."
~ FlashRage
A compliment is a compliment, right?
What's the weirdest compliment you've received?
