People Share Their Weirdest "Didn't See That Coming" Dating Experiences
Dating can be awkward, especially for the first few dates. Sometimes things can get downright weird though.
Reddit user u/Hammer-905 asked:
"What's the biggest, "Whoa, didn't see that coming" dating moment that you've had?"
Some responses have been edited for content, clarity, or profanity.
50.
I was having an amazing time talking to a guy I'd just met on tinder. He was sweet, funny, and lived about 5 minutes from me. He asked me out on a date, and I was ecstatic. The day comes, and he offers to come pick me up. I politely decline, and I decided to be honest with him and say I wasn't totally comfortable being picked up by someone I hadn't met quite yet, and that I'd rather meet him there myself. He seemed nice enough to take it well, I even told him it was based on a prior bad experience.
He absoultely freaked
I have never been called more names/things in my entire life. Distrusting, rude, nasty, ungrateful, the list went on. I didn't even fight him. Dude literally tried to evaluate my entire psyche, ranting and "explaining" what was wrong with me for not allowing him to pick me up, then blocked me. I've never seen someone take such a hard left turn into crazy town in my life.
49.
Went to a party with a guy. When I got there, he basically ignored me and flirted with some other chick most of the night. Later at night, they followed me to my car when I was getting something out of my trunk for the party. Guy shoves and locks me in my own goddam car trunk once I opened it. Can't find the latch, super drunk and terrified.
He's laughing hysterically outside the car, trying to use it as flirting fodder with the now horrified other girl. She's not a psychopath like him and helped me call someone with spare keys... I got out eventually, super embarrassing though.
48.
I dated a 22 year old who took her teeth out to eat an ice cream. Totally didn't see that coming and tried to make her feel comfortable.
I didn't keep seeing her for other reasons, but yes, I experienced the missing teeth that night.
47.
In college, my roommate and I moved a mutual friend into our place because his roommate had some mental health issues and was stalking him, and doing some really messed up stuff (like threatening to hurt himself unless friend hung out with him). I never met nor saw the roommate.
About a month later, I get asked out by this random guy on a dating website and it seemed fine, so we go out for pizza. As the date unfurls, it slowly becomes more and more awkward as the guy asks about my living situation, friends...roommates. The whole thing just feels awkward. We say our goodbyes and I go home, to tell my roommate about it...and then the lightbulb goes off - it was the stalker guy, trying to get info about him. There's actually a fair bit more to this story, but that's the basic scenario.
Edit: So, I had a couple of requests for additional details. To clarify, all of the characters in this story are guys (I'm gay, stalker is also, roommate/stalkee are straight). I'll parse them in as they happened:
-Probably part of the reason stalker got so infatuated with stalkee is that he was the first person stalker came out of the closet to and he reacted well (as stalker came from a very Catholic family). This was all about 15 years ago and attitudes towards LGBT people still weren't great, particularly in the red state in which we all lived.
-The night we moved him in to our house (under cover of darkness while stalker was away), the stalker had called him and told us he was attempting to commit suicide as a result...very slowly, by drinking salt water until he died of dehydration. Prior to that, stalker had spent a few hours driving around town trying to find stalkee's car. We were able to get some professional help for him that night.
-I have no idea how the guy found me, but sexuality probably plays a role - I'm a gay guy in a fairly small town and stalker knew that he had gay friends, so going through the online dating profiles/Facebook/Myspace at the time was probably not too hard for him.
-Stalker ended up harassing my friend a few more times over the years, showing up at his work to drop off important personal effects he had left behind during the move (e.g., a clothes hanger).
-Stalker showed up in my life a few times since then, too. A couple of years later, I was working for the college and he was running for a minor local political office. His political statement/declaration had him listed as a Ph.d. student in the department in which I worked (a fairly well-known program nationally).
Except, not only was he not a Ph.d. student with us, he (a) never completed his bachelor's degree and (b) was not enrolled as a student for several years. So you can imagine my surprise when one of our staff was like, "Who the hell is Stalker and why does he say he's in our program?" I do think this was just a coincidence, though.
46.
Met a guy while walking to work. It was dark out but not in a creepy way. We run into each other a few times and I ask him out. We go for dinner and he tells me about his work history, says he did something in construction for 15 years. I am 20 when this happened. Turned out we were both really bad at guessing age and he was in his forties and thought I was was in my late 20s. Luckily he could tell I was weirded out by it and didn't contact me after.
He sounds like a good guy. An age gap like that is just too large (in my opinion), and it is good of him that he respects you enough to leave you alone. Hopefully you can still greet him when you come across him during your walks, as the event is not something to be ashamed of for either parties.
45.
Went to a girl's house to meet her parents and they sit a teddy bear at the table, gave it food and drink.
She was the youngest in the house at 23 and the bear was such a recognized member of the family it had a Facebook page.
This will probably be buried but the weirdest part is when they would do voices for the bear and make me speak with it.
Edit: Family also hated me as they were super religious and i was born out of wedlock.
44.
Was casually dating a girl for 3 months or so, she suggests we watch some adult movies together - ok cool. So she puts a dvd on (this is 2008) and the second scene was HER. Totally unexpected. Was cool but I found it sort of an odd way to tell someone that.
She ended up beating me with a clothing rack pole... Man, Brooklyn was a fun place.
43.
I took a girl out on our first date. I guess she was trying to impress me because she rattled off the list of guys whose virginity she's taken. Spoken in a way suggestive that, if I played my cards right, something good may happen to me. I was not interested nor impressed.
Similar thing happened to me too. a girl I just met started telling me about taking virginity from a guy and laughed about how can someone be a virgin at that age (22). I was 23 at the time and yeah, still a virgin due to messed up past that made and still makes me feel unsafe in sexual situations. Then she told me that her last date left when she left to the bathroom and she wanted to make sure that I will still be here when she comes back from the toilet. I told her that I won't, she took it as a joke. It wasn't a joke.
42.
Might seem minor or silly but the first time my girlfriend didn't want to go bar hopping on a Friday she asked me if I was cool just coming over, drinking Miller Lite, and watching a Cops marathon. She specifically said it was a tased and confused special.
I never thought I'd hear a girl say that. We've been married for two years now.
Before Netflix and Chill, it was COPS marathon and Chill.
41.
On my first date with my current fiance, he told me that he has two older sisters that are both married to guys named Cody. guess what my name is?
Emma?
Yes.
It's Cody. So three siblings (2 girls and 1 boy) are all going to be married to men named Cody.
40.
So many great ones! I'll do this one since it has a few of those moments in them. I went out with this woman. She's really cool. Great first date, a lot in common, great connection. I reach out for a second date. I hear nothing from her.
Three months go by, I get a text from her out of the blue. She had to have a sudden surgery, so she didn't reach back because of that. We go out, we're still great. Third date, I'm stoked. I figure I'll impress her with one of these Academy films that's getting a lot of praise. Something called The Revenant. Whoops. Figured out what that was in the theater. Did not expect it to be so violent and graphic. And she was super squeamish about watching that stuff.
So we recover at a restaurant and we talk a little. At one point, we're making small talk and talking about our flaws. I say sometimes I feel like I can be a little selfish. I watched her starry eyes go cold and dead to me as I shattered all of her illusions of me. Her responses get quick and she gets quiet. I know exactly what's up. She lost interest instantly.
She gives me a ride back to my car and she just starts trying to figure out what's wrong with her for dating people like me. "Is it because you're an actor?" Then she sinks her head into her hands and says loudly for the quiet person she was, "why can't I date anyone normal!" Well, didn't see that coming. It was hilarious, but I didn't feel like it would be best to laugh there. So I politely ended the date and suggested that maybe we weren't as compatible as we thought. She reached out the next day to apologize and see if I wanted to give it another try. I replied, "Yeah, sure." I never heard back from her, as I now see that the way I phrased that has two interpretations.
39.
Coworker had a huge crush on me. Got my MSN messenger account (this was years ago) from another coworker. He started talking to me back and forth for maybe 2 weeks, and then asked me out on a date. That workplace actually encouraged in-office dating, it was in China so whatever. We went on four dates, each of them great, and then he confessed...he already had a girlfriend.
You know the saying: it's easier to get a job when you already have a job.
38.
Started dating a girl and she seemed nice but I wasn't sure she was into me. A few months in and she starts talking about future plans and marriage. I was happy as I was on board with that but it just seemed like some switch had been flipped. I had passed whatever tests needed to be done. I had made it. Skip to now, We're engaged and all is good. It was a strange transition though from "Hey I like this girl but I wonder how she feels?" To "Whoa! She's totally on board!" In a day or so.
Be careful friend. i just got out of a situation where it was "I love you see you tomorrow" to "We cant be together anymore" in a day or so.
I get it. This was a while ago though. I asked her about it later on and she explained it all. Mostly shyness. We're both very invested now. Making a life together is a big step but we're both leaving very solitary lifestyles so it's a two sided investment.
37.
One of my ex's practically disappeared. I couldn't figure out where she went or what happened to her until her dad called me and told me she didnt want ro see me anymore. We were both 21, and had been together a few years.
36.
My friend had one of these. Girl he had been dating a few weeks just flat out disappeared for a week. No calls nothing. Then she shows up and wants to keep dating. She claims she was in the hospital for a week for emergency surgery. Mmm ok.
Well my friend was getting handsy with her and they were taking their clothes off when he noticed she had no fresh surgical scars or anything like that and she claimed they had done a laparoscopic procedure on her abdomen. He calls her on it and she finally comes clean.
Turned out her and some idiot friends had decided to rob a convenience store with a fake gun. They got caught of course and she was now looking at felony robbery charges. I guess she was out on bond and was trying to pretend like nothing happened.
Yep he broke it off right there. Armed robbery tends to do that.
35.
We had a yellow-umbrella moment.
On our first solo date (first was a blind double date), we were talking about how we knew some of the same people. I think told him I had gone to a party that year where I was really drunk and a huge fight broke out between like 12 people at a house party on the front lawn. I saw some glasses on the ground so I held onto them so no one would step on them.
A guy then came up to me asking if I had seen some glasses his friend dropped. Turns out he had the same story about trying to break up a fight at a party and finding that his friend's glasses were picked up by some girl. We also had talked to the same people at the party, but at different times but never bumped into each other.
That guy is my husband now.
34.
Met a woman for dinner after chatting online for a few weeks. She's super cute, conversation is flowing well, really hitting it off. I'm talking with her about my work, how I get to meet all kinds of interesting people including a man who pulled me into a discussion about Bigfoot for 45 minutes that I couldn't tap out of.
Her reply? "I don't believe in Bigfoot, or aliens, ...or dinosaurs" I had heard of people that believe that the Earth is only 6000 years old and the Devil put the dinosaur bones here, but that was the first time I had met one in the wild.
33.
First time going to my now-fiance's apartment.
He had gotten drunk after a bad day at work. Not just drunk, but absolutely hammered. I drove him home, helped him up the three goddamn flights of stairs to his apartment, and opened the door. He apologized for the mess.
It was clean!
There were some cups and video game controllers on the coffee table, and a pair of pants on the couch. That was it. That was the mess. Other than that, the place was immaculate. It was well-decorated, organized, the carpet had been vacuumed recently, and it was full of really nice stuff!
He asked if I wanted to go to bed with him. (We hadn't had sex yet.) I told him he's too drunk to make good decisions. He said, "Oh...you're a good adult. I'm super drunk. Thanks for looking out for me." He wandered into the bedroom.
I waited a minute for him to come out and say goodbye, but he didn't. I went into the bedroom and found him laying in bed, flat on his back, snoring. So, like a good adult, I set a glass of water and a few Advil on his nightstand, left a note saying I'd pick him up and drive him to his car the next morning, and locked the door.
TL;DR - Impromptu trip to his place reveals a clean apartment; I turn down his advances because he's absolutely piss drunk; he sees my rejection as a good decision on my part. KEEPER
32.
I coached a young girls soccer team (6-7 yo) about 12 years ago. My assistant coach's wife was always super nice but never really caught my eye because she was much taller than me (5'11-5'8), and married. Ive never been secure enough to be attracted to or date a taller woman.
Fast forward to a few years ago. We're both divorced after our spouses cheated. We run into each other. We go on a friendly lunch date. Im blown away that i never noticed how beautiful and wonderful she is. We kiss in the parking lot with people laughing at us!
We now live together... ...and she is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Complete package. Sweet, kind, no games, fun, funny, beautiful, great job, my kids love her, etc. Never would have seen us together but glad Im now confident enough to date a taller woman. So glad I went on that "friend" date!
31.
Just before the second date with my now girlfriend.
She called me to let me know that she was feeling pretty sick (coming down from a migraine + bad cold) and didn't feel up to making the date.
She called me. When, after almost 1.5 years of plugging away at the online dating scene, pretty much all of the ladies I'd gone out with would just pop a text/message on POF/OKC my way.
The fact that she actually called and spoke to me almost shorted out my brain.
We've been together about 2.5 years, been living at the same place over 1.
30.
i never have chased love in the past couple years, had a lot of bad experiences and was tired of the outcome every time. met a girl through a mutual friend, she was really extroverted at first, i'm more of an introvert and prefer 1 on 1 time with someone rather than groups.
it was going pretty good for the first couple of weeks, i definitely had feelings for her, strong ones too. i always thought i was gonna live to be a hermit and alone by myself all my life.
that all changed when we went to walmart at 11 pm just cause she was craving frozen pizza. i never thought i'd be able to process having such big feelings for someone, but when i saw her in my sweatshirt and pajama pants walking out of walmart on a drizzly night holding a frozen pizza and looking like the happiest thing ever i just knew that was the one i want to spend my whole life with.
edit for clarification: we started "talking" about two weeks into knowing each other, dating after one month of "talking".
29.
Asked a girl on a date. She declined as she was busy but from the tone of her voice I guessed/hoped that maybe she would be interested.
So a few weeks later I ask again. She enthusiastically agrees. Awesome! Date, time, location all set.
About five minutes into the date she casually mentions the existence of her boyfriend. I had no idea. This was not a date, apparently. I hustled through that date, I mean, not-date.
28.
Went to a family party and was introduced to my cousins girlfriend. He's about 10 years younger than me and someone I used to babysit. At the party I reconnect with the cousin and he mentions we should go catch a movie together. His girlfriend hands me her phone to put my number in. A few months later she invites me to a movie and I say yes assuming this was the both of them.
Instead it turns out to just be her and she's definitely dressed for a date, tiny purse, heels and everything. I ask where my cousin is and it turns out he joined the military and shipped out and they decided they would both be open to other relationships while he was gone. I ended up watching the movie and having dinner with her but I didn't give any impression that this was a date. Her last effort was to offer to drive me to my car despite her car not being that far from where I was parked.
27.
Opened grindr. Saw a guy who looked pretty cute at first like 84 feet away. Realized it had to be one of my neighbors. Thought to avoid it. I had seen enough small town issues and didn't know if I liked the idea of seeing someone who lived that close to me on the app. He started messaging me though. "Wow. You're really close." We started talking. Found out he was actually my neighbor's brother.
He wanted to meet. I said sure, let's go for a walk. We met down the street and started on the walk. First thing he told me was that he was so high and that his brother was running a meth lab. I had to just be polite and try to get through the walk. I wanted to end it from the begining though.
Later his brother got raided and arrested right next door because another neighbor called the police after she heard a fight.
26.
Went on a tinder date a few years ago, he seemed really nice, we went on a few dates but each time he always said something odd. First date: 'Its cool that you goto the bathroom and leave your bag on the table with a complete stranger' Did not leave my bag unattended again. Second date: 'I didn't have a date for a family wedding, so I went with my cousin (nothing wrong with that I thought), we kissed practically all night, people looked at us alot'. Erm...
Just out of interest did this charming, cousin kissing individual manage to get a third date and if so did he have any more fun phrases for us?
Unfortunately, his charm and wit didn't persuade me enough to ask for a third date. Shame.
25.
Grew up in a military town in the south. I always told anyone who listened "I'll never ever date a soldier." And "I hate country boys, I'll never date one." So what does life do? Throws me a young man from South Georgia that was stationed in my town when I was in my first semester of college. I didn't see it coming because he was the exact opposite of what I ever envisioned myself dating, but I've been with him for over 3 years now, and he's the silliest and best person in my life.
Pretty sure my fiancee never expected to end with a country type guy like me. I'm probably about as far as you could get from what she expected to ended up marrying. She's a posh, artistic, British dancer, and I grew up in a one light town in the middle of nowhere. Tbh I never would've believed I'd end up with her either but I thank my lucky stars every morning that I have.
24.
Casually flirted with a girl for 1-2 months, asked her out, she said yes. On the way to the bar she makes a highly suggestive comment about how she would look in a very sexy dress we see in a store. I think to myself "this is going great". We enter the bar, sit down, things turn around just like that as 1 minute in the conversation she grows completely cold and says "I'm at a stage in my life where i do not want to date anyone".
After 20 seconds dead silent, i replied "Then what the hell are you doing here with me, on a date?". Can't remember the answer but it was something nor here nor there. And it wasn't one of those FWB things. Finished my drink, escorted her to the meeting point, never heard from her again.
Maybe it isn't one of those "Whoa" moments, but the switch from "really cute girl, shows signs she's into me, this could be something great" to completely and utterly cold definitely caught me by surprise.
23.
Went on a date. It seemed to go well. Set up a second date. Dude cancels on me because he wanted to pursue someone else. Alright, fine, whatever. Then three months later sends me a friend request on facebook. I accepted because I was curious. He hasn't attempted to message me or comment on anything. I'm so confused.
Dude is playing the long con. Knows a reasonable person would think its ridiculous to try after that, so he's not. Instead he is biding his time and looking for an angle to make it more "natural"... Either that or he thought you were really hot and was hoping you'd have some vacation bikini pics on your profile... Either way he must have missed out on your obviously superior hotness.
22.
When I was in high school, I was a hostess at a restaurant, and there was a cute busboy I worked with. Eventually he made a move and kissed me after work, and we started casually seeing each other.
One day after work, he pulled out his phone and flipped it open (good old mid 2000s!) and his wallpaper was a photo of a baby. I asked if that was his little sibling and he said "nah, that's my son."
The busboy was only a year older than me, so I was really shocked. He told me that he still tried to get along with his son's mother, but she'd cheated on him so it was hard. My dumb seventeen-year-old ass was like, "yep, I can do it. I can be a stepmom!"
Then I found out he was actually still dating his baby's mother. I let him know that I knew, and he begged me to give him a chance; he said he'd break up with her, that she was really awful, that I could "change his life". I just instant messaged him, "I'm going to block you now," and then did so. Probably the most self-possessed I've ever been with a romantic partner, lollllll.
Kudos on being capable of such a sensible reaction at an age when many of us did stuuuupid crap in the name of love.
21.
I've posted about it before, but I approached my now wife entirely as a joke. My buddy was down, and I thought it'd cheer him up to get a laugh. I don't have much luck with women, I am quiet and nerdy and not much to look at. So I picked out a pretty blonde girl at the college cafeteria and decided to go hit on her. Usually I would never but I was a little buzzed from the night before and thought it'd be funny.
I figured she would tell me to f**k off and it would be hilarious. Just a brutal public shut down that I, to be totally fair, deserved entirely.
We talked for a few minutes. She was very nice. I stopped short of asking her on a date, so I guess it was just wildly unprovoked small talk.
Anyway. Ya. We had a class that semester, and with the ice broken I just talked to her like a normal person.
We have two kids now.
Did not see that coming.
20.
About 9 years ago I was talking to 2 guys called Angus on online dating. One of them asked me out and we agree to meet at a coffee shop the next week. When I get there I see him and he is waiting tables so I walk up to him and he gives me this look like he knows me. He asks me "table for one?" and, extremely confused at this stage, I reply "umm table for two?"
So I follow him and sit down at the table and he goes to get water and I'm thinking of all the ways I can explain how I'm really unimpressed that he would invite me to the place he works while he's working for our date. As I'm deep in this thought I see someone else approaching my table and it's...the other Angus (let's call him Angus 1). Angus 1 and I had unknowingly organised a date to the place the other Angus (Angus 2) worked and then I'd seen Angus 2 and confused my Angus' and assumed I was meeting Angus 2.
So Angus 1 and Angus 2 arrive at my table at the same time. Angus 1 says "Hi it's me Angus 1 from (generic online dating website)". At this point I can see in Angus 2's face that he's figured out where he knows me from, then he takes in what Angus 1 has said and then gives me a look that literally says "what is this girls weird obsession with guys called Angus!"
To make things worse Angus 2 was a very attentive waiter who checked on us frequently and got to hear the awkwardness that is the first date from an online dating website conversation all while poor Angus 1 had no idea what was happening and probably recounts this story as a date he had with an extremely awkward girl who's weirdly shy and doesn't like to talk in front of waiters.
In hindsight I wish back then I had the confidence to tell Angus 1 what was happening and laugh about it but it didn't happen! Needless to say I never heard from either Angus again.
19.
The summer before I went to college, I ran into an ex at a party and we ended up having a night together.
Sitting in class taking notes a few months later, I get a facebook message from the ex. "I'm pregnant".
Well, now I'm freaking out. I was already seeing someone new, really didn't want a life with this girl, and had just started college. I wasn't ready for a kid. I started prodding a bit, like "what do you plan to do" and "have you told anyone else?", and she gave all the answers I didn't want to hear. Family knew, she was keeping it, etc.
This dragged on all day. I'm freaking out, trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about it.
Then, late that night, she mentions she's still in the first trimester.
That doesn't add up, I haven't seen her in like 5 months.
That's when she finally mentions that her new BF knocked her up and she just needed someone to talk to about it, and figured letting me think it was mine was the proper way to go about it.
Never shared another word with her.
18.
Went on a date with a man. Seemed really decent, and I liked him. But then he ghosts me for a weekend. I was super confused, and finally said screw it.
He text me on Monday morning to explain. Told me he has a daughter, who is 2, and he had her for the weekend. Okay, cool, whatever. I like kids.
But then he tells me he's living with a girl that he WAS dating, so I can't come to his house, ever. And the daughter wasn't from her. It's from a co-worker that he had an affair with, so that's why he kept it all from me.
We went on a couple more dates, but then he let me know that he was still with baby mama on the side, and he wanted to try a relationship with her. I said good bye and don't talk me to again.
Less than a year later, they're married, new baby, and guess who is texting me to be his side piece?
17.
Was talking to a friend of mine, just hanging out in the garage. I had been slowly falling for her for a little while before this so one day I just said screw it, told her how I felt. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. She told me she felt the same way so I went in for a kiss.
This girl straight up mounted me.
We've been married for almost a year and I couldn't be happier. Life is dope.
16.
Met this girl in college. She sat in front of me, so we'd chat from time to time. Semester is coming to an end, and I decide to ask her out. We go get dinner after class, just to get to know each other. As we're at dinner, she starts talking about her kids. plural. This has never been brought up before. I ask about their father(s). She explains it's by the same guy. I ask if it was planned. She responds "Nah, his pullout game is just weak". I pause, and let this sink in. So it happened not once, but twice? ok. I ask about contraception. "It's against my religion, and what kind of example would I set as a youth pastor?"
There was no second date.
15.
This was almost three years ago now. I met a girl online, went on a first date, hit it off pretty well. She invited me to come over her house a few days later as she was gonna have a few friends over. I show up, find out that it's actually the birthday party of one of her friends, a little weird, but okay .
She was from the Ukraine, and everyone who showed up was from Russia or Ukraine, or their significant others. There was a also child. Basically like being invited to a family BBQ as the second date, and by the way, OptimusPyne is the one in charge of grilling for everyone.
At one point one of her friends did the basic, "How'd you guys meet/ how long have you been seeing each other". I told her, she said "It must have gone pretty well". I could only respond with "I guess so?".
Everyone wanted well done burgers. Nice people though.
14.
Dating a guy who was so nice I wasn't sure it could work because I'm kind of abrasive when it comes to dealing with things(not a fan of bs in general..i.e.my people skills suck) and I had dated my fair share of people who seemed nice and turned into nightmares. Anyway, he tells me he loves me after the second time we've slept together.
Had no idea it was coming, super worried because the too early confessions of love are usually a red flag. I tell him it's too soon and I only say that stuff if I know for sure I mean it. Fast forward to now, we're married and it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had in my life, not a red flag at all. Just an extremely genuine person who knew his own heart.
It was one of those rare times in life that everything just fell into place. Our schedules matched up, we never ran out of things to talk about, he was and is this singularly kind individual. By the time we actually had bumps, we were so close we just kinda fell into this routine of facing each problem side by side and solving it together. I've been married once before, for eight years of chaos and abuse. I know what dysfunctional dynamics look like. This time around, my husband is like shelter in a storm. What they say is actually completely true. There's nothing like the adventure of finding the right person.
13.
I went to fourth date with a girl..
Ended up seeing her whole family, and slept overnight there.. also helped with farm stuff at morning a bit(i liked it btw)my non-confident ass really did not see that coming.
Not to mention, she called me her boyfriend also.
12.
Background information: When my abusive ex boyfriend and I broke up I was basically packing up everything he gave/let me borrow over our 3.5 years together (3 items total, only wanted one back) to give him the next day with my now boyfriend (the man who gave me the confidence to leave). While packing I realized that my 'promise' ring, that I actually sorta begged for, was on my hand. I LOVED this ring, not for sentimental reasons but because I personally picked it out and it was basically my dream wedding band. I loved this ring so much I broke down crying, it almost physically hurt me enough to get rid of it and my now boyfriend was very aware of this.
The morning my boyfriend picked me up he had a bunch of rings on his hands when he normally ever wore one. I questioned why and he simply stated that the normal ring he wears to work, where he handles food, it's the only one that doesn't slip off. This was only the second time we hung out together so I didn't think to much of it. I had work later that afternoon so naturally he dropped me off. While waiting for my shift to start, sitting in his Jeep, he lays his hands flat out in his steering wheel and says to me,
"Until I can buy you an actual ring you can wear any of mine, take it and it's yours."
He fully planned ahead that he was going to give me one of his rings to wear so he wore them all so I could pick my favorite. I'm still in 'awe' at how sweet it was.
11.
When I was 19 I worked at Buckle in a mall, a few times this gorgeous girl came in. Second time I recognized her as soon as she walked in, let me reiterate, B-E-A-Utiful and I decided I could not let this opportunity pass. Mind you, I am not great looking, average at best. But I attempted to shrug off doubt and talk to her. The moment we started talking, I realized that not only is she one of the prettiest girls I'd laid eyes on, she was intelligent and witty, I was stuck by this even more so than her looks! We talked and she told me she works in Hollister.
Soooo not long after, I made my mind up I was going to do something out of character and stroll right into Hollister and ask her if she'd talk her lunch with me later so we could talk and get to know each other. She agreed cheerfully and told me that 2 days from then would work best since it was a full shift. I was electrified, I was so fricking happy I practically skipped through the mall back to buckle! I probably had a sh*t eating grin for days. I had never really put my self out there and absolutely felt that she was out of my league. So this was exhilarating to say the least.
The next day on the way in to work, she was out side smoking I said hello, we chatted and we went to work. The next day all is well, she texted me, we planned a time and we followed through.
So the break starts:
She asks "Hey do you wanna go smoke really quick?"
I said "Sure, why not."
So we went out and each smoked 1, then went in to go get a bite to eat. We are standing in line, she looks a little pale,.
I asked "Hey, is everything okay?"
She replied "Oh yeah, I just feel a little light headed"
She preceded to tell me "I don't really smoke often and rarely a whole one, I saw you smoking the other day so I figured that I would ask you to go smoke"
Laughing I told her that I only agreed because I saw her smoking and that I really only smoke with other people, if at all.
We got our food, sat down... As soon as we did, her eyes got HUGE, she covered her mouth with her hands and puked. Not just like a little mouthful, she puked. I may have wasted a literal second, but I got up quick and got handfuls of paper towels to clean up. She was mortified and I could tell. I tried to let her know that I really didn't care, stuff happens and I just tried to be relaxed about it.
She cleaned herself up, our breaks were over and we went back to work. She never responded to my texts, avoided me in the mall, and we never spoke again.
I have to say though, for that very short time I knew her, I really liked her personally and found her immensely charming. But alas, I guess it was fated to never be.
So let this be a warning, don't smoke before you eat. Hell, just don't smoke and you'll be fine. Also, I have the worst luck ever with dating.
Maybe one day we'll meet again and I'll have a real shot! But I doubt that possibility.
10.
The moment where I realized that the girl I'd been hanging out with off and on for about 3 months thought we'd been dating the whole time. She was a great person, but I had no romantic feelings toward her and I'd just been hanging out with her as a friend. Apparently she thought we'd been dating. Yikes.
I've been the girl in this situation. It sucked. :(
Yeah, I definitely felt really bad for her, and I basically just apologized profusely for not catching on. :(
09.
I had been dating this girl for a couple years before she moved in with me. She got fired for no-showing there months later, began wildly stealing my credit card to use it, got angry and abusive (emotionally and physically) when she learned I cancelled the card. She stated she refused to look for a job because I am "supposed" to take care of her, do all housework, and everything while she played WoW. That was the first and last time she hit me. Threw her as out that minute.
Prior to moving in, she seemed ambitious, hard working, responsible, incredibly nice but according to her parents, that's only when she's living alone. This flip happened every time she moved in with a guy or her family.
08.
Was secretly dating this girl for a few months as she wanted to keep it low profile and not reveal to anyone yet. 1 day, a guy i knew was telling me how much he fancied her until he found out she was engaged, and the wedding was in the summer. The secrecy all made sense now but what made it awkward was that i had actually met her husband-to-be a few times, we're not friends or anything and he's a really nice guy but he was absolutely clueless about it.
07.
I was dating a girl for almost three years. She had a pretty serious alcohol offense (DUI + accident) before we met. About a year in to our relationship, she was finally sentenced to a alcohol program. This specific county within this midwest state do not mess around with DUIs and is a VERY strict program. I was living a half hour away at the time. I thought she just had made a mistake before and the county just threw the book at her. I didn't realize she had a drinking problem. She couldn't stay sober and they put her in a halfway house. Even in the halfway house she was hiding it. (She did not drink around me and I had no idea). She became friends with other people in the halfway house.
I was halfway across the country visiting my sister and I received a call from her roommate from the halfway house. Her roommate told me that she had slept with her boyfriend and my girlfriend the night before. She was telling me this because she was angry thinking that her boyfriend was giving more attention to my girlfriend than her during the threesome. Halfway across the country getting that call- ouch
06.
After 11 months of casual friendship my crush told me she had been crushing on me for 8 of those 11 months. Been together for 5 months now and couldn't be happier about life.
05.
Having dinner, it's going good, we are laughing I am ordering more drinks. Suddenly guy pulls up a chair sits down and introduces himself, and she goes pale. He's like "you're not going to tell him your married and you have two kids?"
I'm like so I think this is my cue to get out, I just walked away, she called me later that night if I could go pick her up from her house and give her a ride.
04.
Long distance ex gf told me she was very sick and probably wouldn't live for very long. Of course 15 year old me was very distraught but after a long talk we decided to call it quits and she disappeared off of all social media shortly after. Earlier this year I found her very much alive on Instagram. She even messaged me and played dumb. I was really fucking shook up for a while.
03.
I dated my ex for 3 years. Met the parents, did some traveling, grandma gave us her blessing, yada yada. We both thought we had it on lock... We broke up in March 2016. It was a hard break up, very similar to the experiences I'd held my friends through.
What blew my mind the most, though, was when I had a panic attack as the realization hit me that I just wouldn't be with him anymore, but the life we planned together was gone too. It was so confusing to have the next decade planned, then actually starting to look for places by myself for the next week. The uncertainty hurt more than leaving his side, and I never saw that coming. Maybe I knew all along that he wasn't the one. IDK.
02.
Uh I didn't even know I was going on a date. So a friend from college invited me to go to the club/bar with him with a few of our college friends. After much convincing I say yes since it's been a while since I've seen them all. I arrive at the club and text him to come out so he can show me the way to the table. We get there and it's just him and I. So I ask where everybody else is at. He goes on to tell me that they all had something come up and couldn't make it.
Anyways i can't just bail and leave so I get a drunk and he gets a few drinks. Now, he's really shy, but the alcohol made him a non-stop talker and goes on to tell me that he wants us to be roommates and move across the state to start our careers tells me that we could be living in the city and have the time of our lives. Anyways so it's time to leave and I get in my car and he hops on too, and he's drunk so I can't let him drive. So I take him to a taco truck he eats and I drive him back to his car.
He gets out and asks for a hug, I hug him and then he asks for another hug and leans in for a kiss, and I dodge it and he hugs me tighter. And then I finally leave. Never again do I wanna go out with him. He ended up asking me to go out with him again a year and a half later. Clearly he didn't get the memo
01.
Okay so, I might try to summarise it xD Just second year of my degree, trying to fit in and get to know people around the campus I meet this girl; black, really curly hair, shy at first but as chatty as someone can be when you get to know her. We are both interested in art, so we start a club together, hang out and all. I have to admit I have kind of a crush in her, but here it comes, I find out she is ace (No sexual attraction) and prefers girls. No probs, she is a great friend!
Two years later we are real close friends; go everywhere, hang together often, we know pretty much about about and support each other. We keep running and even have built an awesome art community around our first club, met a lot of awesome people along the way... Well, you know, just life. One day just joking, I have these pajama pants whose waistband has gone loose and constantly fall, so I tell her something along "Damn, you're so hot my pants drop on their own". She immediately answered flirting. And not joking but REAL flirting.
I'm surprised but play along, and we spend the next two weeks or so like that, flirting back and forth. We asked each other out, like, one night after going out with some friends, at the same time, and we have been dating for the last eight months. So yeah, like, I couldn't have seen it coming at all, but I am really happy we both took the step! Ah, and we literally skipped through the get-to-know-each-other phase.
How do you handle the ace thing? I am curious.
Well, seems like she discovered she is demisexual instead (Means that only feels sexual attraction if already feels emotional attraction). In many ways for me it was like meeting a new person in her, and I feel like she discovered many things about herself as well in these past months, so I'll be fully supporting her.
That's very nice man. A new journey for you two. Hugs for you both.
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.