For my fifteenth birthday (which is a pretty big deal for my culture) I got dumped. In the middle of the dance floor at my birthday party. While wearing an enormous white poofy gown. Because he had a baby the whole time and realized he wasn't going to be able to keep lying about it. Oh, and also he thought my mom was hot and it was weird for him.
He sprung this all on me directly after handing me my birthday gift, so it was like a 1-2 combo. Buddy hit me with the ol' 2 piece and a biscuit.
It sucked, and it absolutely caught me off guard - but his gift was a Pearberry set from bath and body works, which was like gold to a 15 year-old in the 90's. So it all worked out.
Recently, a Reddit thread about unexpected (though maybe not as crappy?) birthday gifts popped up. The responses made me feel less alone in sucksville, but also kind of restored my faith in the birthday fairies.
Birthday Package
My girlfriend and I started dating freshman year of college and neither of us live in the state we go to school in. Over the summer we went home and did long distance for the three months. My birthday is in the summer and she kept telling me she was gonna send gifts she got for me and kept asking questions like "when does mail usually get to your house?"
She also made up this story about how the kids she babysat liked to take her phone and play with it. She casually mentioned that she was taking them to a pool the next day (day before my birthday).
Her mom texted me that day while I'm at work telling me that one of the kids dropped her phone in the pool. I felt so bad because I was told that she was a wreck about the whole situation because she would be out of communication for my birthday.
I get home from work and I'm sitting on the couch and my mom comes home and tells me the package that my girlfriend sent me was on the porch so I open the front door expecting a big cardboard box but instead I got a short, gorgeous lady who had flown so many miles to spend a week/my birthday with me
- jgilly00
Don't Give Up
My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and not having success. For my 34th birthday my mom sent me a sleep giraffe for my future baby nursery. Turns out it was the last birthday gift I would get from her, she died 10 months after that birthday in 2016. I found out I was pregnant in early 2017, and never got to share that news with her. I remember being annoyed when I opened the box, but now I realize it was just a sweet sentiment from her telling me not to give up. After she passed, going through her things, I found a congratulations card meant for me in the event I had a baby, a card she never got to send.
I look at that sleep giraffe every day, it's the first thing I see every morning when I wake up, and she tells me every morning "don't give up."
- peechpy
A Late Meeting
A few days before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) wife told me she had a meeting in the city and would be home late - but she actually drove to the airport and picked up my best friend who had secretly flown in from out of state to surprise me.
The next day she took us to a spot a few hours away where we spent my birthday weekend with a bunch of my other friends. One of the best weekends of my life!
Broken Down
My 13th birthday I got the surprise that our truck broke down.
I lucked out and was able to ride home with the football team. We lived on a farm 13miles out of town. I did all the chores the next two days while my parents stayed in town "working on it." When they finally get home, my birthday was never mentioned. I never got cake or presents. They completely forgot about it. Sucky thing was we were really poor. I looked forward to my birthday because that and Christmas was when I'd get new clothes.
Killed me ever caring about birthdays. Which is sad since my wife really tries to spoil me. I have to put on my fake happy face and act like it's a big deal.
Fourth Grade
Not even joking, in fourth grade my friend gave me a 3 hour couples massage coupon.
Lost And Found
GiphyI have an old silver watch that a nun gave me when I was in my teens. I would visit her in the nursing home when I was doing my required service hours for school. She was so sweet and I always looked forward to seeing her every day. My senior year she passed away, but gave me her watch before she did. I wore that watch every day until finally it stopped working.
A couple years after I moved in with my now fiance I accidentally lost it and was really upset for a long time because of that.
For my birthday last year I told my fiance that I didn't want him to spend any money on me so we can save for our wedding. That morning he handed me a small box. Inside was the watch, which he found at the bottom of a box in the basement, and he had cleaned it and fixed it. I still wear that watch everyday and that was honestly the best gift I'd ever received.
Swapped
A few years ago my siblings and I hosted a 70th birthday party for my dad on my birthday. My birthday is in July, his in February. We had him fooled into thinking the surprise party was for me and he was shocked when he walked in and realized it was his party. Half the fun was watching him almost spoil the surprise about a half a dozen times.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get a package in the mail with a super cozy sweatshirt and note from dad saying is was a birthday gift for me on his birthday. Included in the note, he stated, "I couldn't think of better person I would want to swap birthday's with." I'm not gonna lie, the note was the real gift.
- Tanaisy
Birthday Bike
My brother was riding my bike the previous day, and left it at the end of out driveway apparently.
So for my birthday he got me a stolen bike.
My mom's friend told me to not be upset because "we'll just get you another one" but I have never owned a bike since. Her parents had a lot of money, and always bailed her out, so she couldn't relate that not everyone would get bailed out all the time. I haven't had a bike since.
- mkicon
Hilarious
A cousin thought that it was hilarious to get me a 12 pack of condoms at my early 20s, in front of the entire family.
I wanted to die.
Bagels And Love
A Bag of Bagels.
I was at university (UK) and I had been wished happy birthday by my family and a small number of friends (read housemates) but hadn't gotten any gifts, considering I didn't have many good friends at uni and my Family live almost 6 hours up north from me, I wasn't really expecting anything in the form of gifts.
I decided on a whim that I would join up with a society I'm part of for a couple drinks at the local Spoons, but didn't tell anyone and just met em there. When I got there one guy saw me and called me over and gave me the bagels and said that they were really glad I came along cos they weren't sure if I was gonna.
Before he gave me these I had had like 5 conversations with this guy and barely knew him, but he went out of his way to learn my birthday and grab me a bag of bagels knowing it's one of my favourite foods.
Long story short we've now been dating for just under a year.
Nose Hair
My cousin gave me electric ear/nose hair clippers. She had apparently just had a first date with a guy and he had really long nose hair and it bothered her so she thought it would be a good gift for me (I don't think she was implying that I had long nose hair, just that it was something I should handle).
- twomz
Snoopy
GiphyMy family one time just gave me Snoopy clothes,I don't know why, since I never mentioned Snoopy at that time. And I got a lot of them. Weird, but they're still good.
Tickets
For my birthday, I was visiting my great aunt in California, my cousins were visiting with us as well. I was so happy, I love these cousins and they are so awesome. We were talking about their plans after they finish their visit, and they said something about ComicCon in San Diego. I told them I would love to go, but I don't think I'd ever go because I live on the east coast and don't have money (college student at the time).
They offered to take me and bought me a ticket! I was so in shock I told them they didn't have to do that and they said 'Its a birthday present.' I was not expecting that and I had so much fun there with them. I was so happy that they loved me so much to take me. I didn't tell them they had to, they offered to and I first felt bad because they had to spend more money on my ticket.
She's Totally Winning
A few years ago my then girlfriend, now wife bought me a PS3 and about fifteen games. Very unexpected, and very appreciated. And last year she bought me tickets to see Train and the Goo Goo Dolls, which was awesome for me (and taking one for the team for her; she's not exactly into either band). Worth noting that she has the same birthday as me, just a year younger; I have yet to give her anything as cool, though not for lack of trying.
- twcsata
Coldish Soup
A container of ice cream from a fancy ice cream shop a 4hr drive from where I live. Was a coldish soup by the time it got to me 😂 IDK WHY
Airpods
Not birthday, but one Christmas my mum got me airpods out of the blue. I didn't even ask for them or think about asking for them. Turns out it was the best thing I've ever got and I'm obsessed and they literally don't leave my ears lol.
Back To The Future
I'm a huge Back to the Future (BTTF) fan. I also grew up playing old school video game consoles like the Genesis and Super Nintendo. And as an adult I got back into retro games.
Now when it came to Back to the Future video games back in the day, they never got it right. From the horrible NES games to the horrible Genesis BTTF Part III game to the god awful Universal Theme Park simulator or whatever it was that was on the GameCube. It wasn't until 2010's Back to the Future game from Telltale Games that we finally got a great BTTF game.
But there was one BTTF game from the '90s that actually was good that I didn't know about for a very long time. In Japan they released "Super Back to the Future Part II" for the Super Famicom. It was only released in Japan and I live in the US, so I never heard about it. When I did I watched gameplay footage on YouTube and thought it looked great. But I had no way to play it, so I didn't even try to look for a copy.
Then, a few years ago, my birthday rolled around. My brother came around to my house to hang out and he brought a gift for me. I unwrapped it and there it was: A modified copy of "Super Back to the Future Part II" that worked on US Super Nintendos. And it was in English, too!
I don't know where or how he got it, but, man, I did not expect it and it remains one of my most treasured gifts because he got me something that really rings true to the type of person I am. He knows me extremely well and he used that knowledge to get me something that he knew I would love.
The Notebook
GiphyWhen I was in my last year of high school I really hated both my literature class and the teacher who taught it. I often complained (in a joking manner) to my dad about how much I just wanted to straight up destroy my notebook once I graduated. A couple months after I finished (on my birthday) he took me to a shooting range to teach me how to use my mom's pistol (no big deal, he is a retired firearm instructor and it was something we had previously discussed).
After practicing for a while he went to retrieve something from the car: my notebook. Needless to say, I got the chance to tear it apart just like I always wanted to. The fact that he remembered something so trivial and turned it into an awesome yet unconventional gift made it really meaningful (and fun!).
The Cupcake
Three years ago someone at work gave me a cupcake for my birthday. I was the first time in 35 years that I've gotten anything other than a generic card or a facebook message for my birthday. I took the day off and went home and cried.
Redditor Famous_Assistance683 was eager to know what exactly people who linger in the shower are really up to, leading them to ask:
"People who take the longest time in the shower, what the hell do you do in there?"
I just don't want to get out!
"Mostly think about how miserable it will feel to get out of the shower."- 14-stars
It just takes that long to get clean!
"Wash away the dirt: 5 mins."
"Wash away the pain: 45mins."- Overall_Outcome_392
Daydreaming
"Thinking about random situations that will probably never happen."- Dyl-thuzad
"Some ppl my think I play with myself since I take really long showers, but in reality i just stare into nothing and everything at the same time and lose track of time while thinking about stuff I would never think anywhere else."- ClaraSG
It's a safety issue!
"I suck at shaving my legs in a timely fashion. oops."- SwagLordious420
"Shaving my entire body."- AnnaTraaa
It's all about the hair...
"Anyone with long curly hair is detangling it."- Krombuchar2
"Hair sh*t."
"I started growing out my hair like 5 months ago, and the longer it is the more of a pain it is to take care of."
"I’m getting better with it, but I was never really taught how to take care of long hair so it’s hard."-
GiphyIt's easy to let our curiosity get the best of us.
But then we all must remember, whatever people get up to in private is none of our business.
Redditor nextsperi was curious to hear of the different types of behavior people exhibit when they demand to be the center of attention, leading them to ask:
"What screams 'Give me attention!' ?
Can't you see how sad I am? Everyone else can!
"Cries then takes a photo/video."- Philmeiweep
Meow!
"My cat."- scottyy2189
"Cats."
"I swear to f*ck, the moment I move my hand away from them to try and pick something up, I'm suddenly treated to the screams of purgatory from the drama queen."- Dumbass438
Cat Meow GIF by Cats MovieGiphyLet's talk about something more interesting, ME!
"In my experience with groups, loudly interrupting me right as I am explaining something or telling a story to immediately take over the conversation with their own input or story."
"For my ADHD and anxious talker friends, don't worry, I wasn't poking at you."
"It happens to all of us sometimes."- Lyclownthropy
I can bear the pain if you're all looking at me!
"Faking an injury."- the_pinky243
season 4 baby GIFThe lack of specificity is telling...
"When people make vague posts to social media which start something like: 'THAT’S IT, I’M DONE, you just can’t trust SOME PEOPLE'.”
"But then don’t disclose any details about what was indeed the problem."
"If you listen very carefully, you can hear the gentle brushing by of tumbleweed while they wait for attention."- Environmental_Foot54
This is where I stand, and I'm RIGHT!
"Political bumper stickers."
"Especially the really obnoxious ones."- Cinco1971
My life is so interesting, see for yourself!
"20 Instagram stories a day."- ReddyAyden
Social Media Stories GIF by Front of HouseGiphyGet out of my way, it's me!
"Extreme rudeness is the ultimate attention tantrum."- PM_ME_YOUR_THEREMIN
When we see this type of behavior, we can't help but wonder why these people are so determined to have everyone's attention.
Might be out of loneliness, possibly desperation, or maybe it is just pure selfishness.
One hopes that whatever their motives, these people might soon realize that being the center of attention isn't always something to celebrate.
To hear examples of where to draw the line in comedy, Redditor DeltaName asked:
"What do you see as the lowest form of humour?"
Not everyone can handle being pranked.
It would behoove the jokester to really know their victim's limits before committing to something that can be potentially harmful.
Disguised Attacks
"When 'pranks' are really just bullying/assault."
"Its only funny if the person being pranked can laugh about it as well, if not, its not a prank."
– Cleverbird
Just A Jerk
"Another thing, in an extremely simplified scenario to illustrate: the victim suspects it's a prank and calls BS on it. '600 paper bags? Is this a prank?'"
"The perpetrator plays innocent and swears it's on the up and up: 'No, we really DO need 600 paper bags!'"
"Victim gets the bags, perpetrator laughs and reveals it was 'just a prank.'"
"I see this play out pretty often. If the jig is up, admit it and move on. Otherwise, you're just being a jerk-- not a funny prankster."
– hmmm_thought_pig
Too Stage-y
"I also hate pranks that are obviously staged. A prank isn't funny because of what's being done, but because a good prank will be based somewhat in reality - so for a second the person being pranked believes whatever is happening is actually happening to them."
"So when a prank is staged, I see no comical value in it whatsoever. They're just really poorly acted, low budget sketches at that point."
– tmobilekid
For The Sake Of Clicks
"Pranking kids. Making them cry just for a sh**ty tic tok video."
– Outcasted_introvert
Unfair Target
"Cheap shots on a persons physical appearance."
– Alternative-Poem-337
People think joking about a traumatic past should be off-limits.
There Are Limits
"'Pranking' others about serious matters."
– Sa-lin
The Difference
"Prank: covering someone's room in tinfoil."
"Not prank: faking a traumatic emotional event"
"It's a pretty easy line to spot if you're not a jerk, but people suck."
– APearce
Taking Advantage Of The Gullible
"Yeah I hate these. Like I said a pretty innocuous joke and dude got all serious and said he was abused or his mom died or something. I felt bad and stopped joking around and apologized. And then it was like 'haha look how dumb he is for believing that HARDEEHAR!'"
"I'm just like wtf, u think I'm gonna call u out as a liar over sensitive stuff like that?? Of course I choose to believe you. And you're kind of a dick!"
– iFlyskyguy
A Lost Opportunity
"I had a friend I was close to in high school. One day he confessed to that me was dying from a terminal illness. I pitied him and did my best to be a good friend for the next two months, and then found out he was lying for apparently no reason."
"Obviously I was confused and angry so I stopped hanging out with him and to this day I still have no idea why he did that. If he wanted attention, he had it already -- he never knew, but I had a slight crush on him at the time."
– gekigarion
These workplace pranks are anything but hysterical.
At The Expense Of Co-Workers
"F'king with workers for a video."
– KiraSandwich
Who Does This?
"Throwing a drink at someone, especially a food worker after they hand you the drink. My f'king god I hate seeing that sh*t."
– suddenAlcoholic
Taking Another Person's Property
"Saw a video of a guy stealing a worker's ID and running in the hallway while the worker was chasing him.. he did it as a 'prank' apparently."
"Really hate that sh*t."
– ballistic-dumba**
As an Asian-American, I've often been subject to racist humor.
"I'm just kidding. I have tons of Asian friends," is the excuse I've grown numb to hearing, and I often laughed it off. I always thought that if I expressed my humiliation, I would be accused of being "too defensive" or lacking a sense of humor.
I realized, embarrassingly late, that by going along with their mockery of me using Asian stereotypes, that I was complicit in perpetuating casual racism towards people who look like me.
When non-White people are constantly made fun of based on their ancestry and/or color of their skin, it's never funny.
My statement may invoke others to call me "woke."
For me, it's more like "I've had it, I'm tired, and I'm no longer taking your racist bullsh*t."