For my fifteenth birthday (which is a pretty big deal for my culture) I got dumped. In the middle of the dance floor at my birthday party. While wearing an enormous white poofy gown. Because he had a baby the whole time and realized he wasn't going to be able to keep lying about it. Oh, and also he thought my mom was hot and it was weird for him.
He sprung this all on me directly after handing me my birthday gift, so it was like a 1-2 combo. Buddy hit me with the ol' 2 piece and a biscuit.
It sucked, and it absolutely caught me off guard - but his gift was a Pearberry set from bath and body works, which was like gold to a 15 year-old in the 90's. So it all worked out.
Recently, a Reddit thread about unexpected (though maybe not as crappy?) birthday gifts popped up. The responses made me feel less alone in sucksville, but also kind of restored my faith in the birthday fairies.
Birthday Package
My girlfriend and I started dating freshman year of college and neither of us live in the state we go to school in. Over the summer we went home and did long distance for the three months. My birthday is in the summer and she kept telling me she was gonna send gifts she got for me and kept asking questions like "when does mail usually get to your house?"
She also made up this story about how the kids she babysat liked to take her phone and play with it. She casually mentioned that she was taking them to a pool the next day (day before my birthday).
Her mom texted me that day while I'm at work telling me that one of the kids dropped her phone in the pool. I felt so bad because I was told that she was a wreck about the whole situation because she would be out of communication for my birthday.
I get home from work and I'm sitting on the couch and my mom comes home and tells me the package that my girlfriend sent me was on the porch so I open the front door expecting a big cardboard box but instead I got a short, gorgeous lady who had flown so many miles to spend a week/my birthday with me
- jgilly00
Don't Give Up
My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and not having success. For my 34th birthday my mom sent me a sleep giraffe for my future baby nursery. Turns out it was the last birthday gift I would get from her, she died 10 months after that birthday in 2016. I found out I was pregnant in early 2017, and never got to share that news with her. I remember being annoyed when I opened the box, but now I realize it was just a sweet sentiment from her telling me not to give up. After she passed, going through her things, I found a congratulations card meant for me in the event I had a baby, a card she never got to send.
I look at that sleep giraffe every day, it's the first thing I see every morning when I wake up, and she tells me every morning "don't give up."
- peechpy
A Late Meeting
A few days before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) wife told me she had a meeting in the city and would be home late - but she actually drove to the airport and picked up my best friend who had secretly flown in from out of state to surprise me.
The next day she took us to a spot a few hours away where we spent my birthday weekend with a bunch of my other friends. One of the best weekends of my life!
Broken Down
My 13th birthday I got the surprise that our truck broke down.
I lucked out and was able to ride home with the football team. We lived on a farm 13miles out of town. I did all the chores the next two days while my parents stayed in town "working on it." When they finally get home, my birthday was never mentioned. I never got cake or presents. They completely forgot about it. Sucky thing was we were really poor. I looked forward to my birthday because that and Christmas was when I'd get new clothes.
Killed me ever caring about birthdays. Which is sad since my wife really tries to spoil me. I have to put on my fake happy face and act like it's a big deal.
Fourth Grade
Not even joking, in fourth grade my friend gave me a 3 hour couples massage coupon.
Lost And Found
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I have an old silver watch that a nun gave me when I was in my teens. I would visit her in the nursing home when I was doing my required service hours for school. She was so sweet and I always looked forward to seeing her every day. My senior year she passed away, but gave me her watch before she did. I wore that watch every day until finally it stopped working.
A couple years after I moved in with my now fiance I accidentally lost it and was really upset for a long time because of that.
For my birthday last year I told my fiance that I didn't want him to spend any money on me so we can save for our wedding. That morning he handed me a small box. Inside was the watch, which he found at the bottom of a box in the basement, and he had cleaned it and fixed it. I still wear that watch everyday and that was honestly the best gift I'd ever received.
Swapped
A few years ago my siblings and I hosted a 70th birthday party for my dad on my birthday. My birthday is in July, his in February. We had him fooled into thinking the surprise party was for me and he was shocked when he walked in and realized it was his party. Half the fun was watching him almost spoil the surprise about a half a dozen times.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get a package in the mail with a super cozy sweatshirt and note from dad saying is was a birthday gift for me on his birthday. Included in the note, he stated, "I couldn't think of better person I would want to swap birthday's with." I'm not gonna lie, the note was the real gift.
- Tanaisy
Birthday Bike
My brother was riding my bike the previous day, and left it at the end of out driveway apparently.
So for my birthday he got me a stolen bike.
My mom's friend told me to not be upset because "we'll just get you another one" but I have never owned a bike since. Her parents had a lot of money, and always bailed her out, so she couldn't relate that not everyone would get bailed out all the time. I haven't had a bike since.
- mkicon
Hilarious
A cousin thought that it was hilarious to get me a 12 pack of condoms at my early 20s, in front of the entire family.
I wanted to die.
Bagels And Love
A Bag of Bagels.
I was at university (UK) and I had been wished happy birthday by my family and a small number of friends (read housemates) but hadn't gotten any gifts, considering I didn't have many good friends at uni and my Family live almost 6 hours up north from me, I wasn't really expecting anything in the form of gifts.
I decided on a whim that I would join up with a society I'm part of for a couple drinks at the local Spoons, but didn't tell anyone and just met em there. When I got there one guy saw me and called me over and gave me the bagels and said that they were really glad I came along cos they weren't sure if I was gonna.
Before he gave me these I had had like 5 conversations with this guy and barely knew him, but he went out of his way to learn my birthday and grab me a bag of bagels knowing it's one of my favourite foods.
Long story short we've now been dating for just under a year.
Nose Hair
My cousin gave me electric ear/nose hair clippers. She had apparently just had a first date with a guy and he had really long nose hair and it bothered her so she thought it would be a good gift for me (I don't think she was implying that I had long nose hair, just that it was something I should handle).
- twomz
Snoopy
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My family one time just gave me Snoopy clothes,I don't know why, since I never mentioned Snoopy at that time. And I got a lot of them. Weird, but they're still good.
Tickets
For my birthday, I was visiting my great aunt in California, my cousins were visiting with us as well. I was so happy, I love these cousins and they are so awesome. We were talking about their plans after they finish their visit, and they said something about ComicCon in San Diego. I told them I would love to go, but I don't think I'd ever go because I live on the east coast and don't have money (college student at the time).
They offered to take me and bought me a ticket! I was so in shock I told them they didn't have to do that and they said 'Its a birthday present.' I was not expecting that and I had so much fun there with them. I was so happy that they loved me so much to take me. I didn't tell them they had to, they offered to and I first felt bad because they had to spend more money on my ticket.
She's Totally Winning
A few years ago my then girlfriend, now wife bought me a PS3 and about fifteen games. Very unexpected, and very appreciated. And last year she bought me tickets to see Train and the Goo Goo Dolls, which was awesome for me (and taking one for the team for her; she's not exactly into either band). Worth noting that she has the same birthday as me, just a year younger; I have yet to give her anything as cool, though not for lack of trying.
- twcsata
Coldish Soup
A container of ice cream from a fancy ice cream shop a 4hr drive from where I live. Was a coldish soup by the time it got to me 😂 IDK WHY
Airpods
Not birthday, but one Christmas my mum got me airpods out of the blue. I didn't even ask for them or think about asking for them. Turns out it was the best thing I've ever got and I'm obsessed and they literally don't leave my ears lol.
Back To The Future
I'm a huge Back to the Future (BTTF) fan. I also grew up playing old school video game consoles like the Genesis and Super Nintendo. And as an adult I got back into retro games.
Now when it came to Back to the Future video games back in the day, they never got it right. From the horrible NES games to the horrible Genesis BTTF Part III game to the god awful Universal Theme Park simulator or whatever it was that was on the GameCube. It wasn't until 2010's Back to the Future game from Telltale Games that we finally got a great BTTF game.
But there was one BTTF game from the '90s that actually was good that I didn't know about for a very long time. In Japan they released "Super Back to the Future Part II" for the Super Famicom. It was only released in Japan and I live in the US, so I never heard about it. When I did I watched gameplay footage on YouTube and thought it looked great. But I had no way to play it, so I didn't even try to look for a copy.
Then, a few years ago, my birthday rolled around. My brother came around to my house to hang out and he brought a gift for me. I unwrapped it and there it was: A modified copy of "Super Back to the Future Part II" that worked on US Super Nintendos. And it was in English, too!
I don't know where or how he got it, but, man, I did not expect it and it remains one of my most treasured gifts because he got me something that really rings true to the type of person I am. He knows me extremely well and he used that knowledge to get me something that he knew I would love.
The Notebook
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When I was in my last year of high school I really hated both my literature class and the teacher who taught it. I often complained (in a joking manner) to my dad about how much I just wanted to straight up destroy my notebook once I graduated. A couple months after I finished (on my birthday) he took me to a shooting range to teach me how to use my mom's pistol (no big deal, he is a retired firearm instructor and it was something we had previously discussed).
After practicing for a while he went to retrieve something from the car: my notebook. Needless to say, I got the chance to tear it apart just like I always wanted to. The fact that he remembered something so trivial and turned it into an awesome yet unconventional gift made it really meaningful (and fun!).
The Cupcake
Three years ago someone at work gave me a cupcake for my birthday. I was the first time in 35 years that I've gotten anything other than a generic card or a facebook message for my birthday. I took the day off and went home and cried.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.