It's hard to classify what exactly a "d*ck move" is. Really, it could be anything. The only consistency between all recorded d*ck moves in history is the way you feel after it's been done. There's a sense of revolting anger, something that seethes in your gut, and makes you want to say, "Not cool bro."
Fortunately, we can count on the internet to help come to a uniform decision.
Reddit user, u/Apple-Acid, wanted people to dictate what counts as a d*ck move when they asked:
What is something we can all agree on being a "d*ck move" ?
Decide: Free or Deadline?
Not paying someone back or being being difficult when you owe money to someone.
Don't ever give out personal loans. Give out one-time gifts without expectation of repayment. If they pay you back, then you might gift again in the future. Otherwise, it's a one-time thing.
Just Let Them Off. Be Polite.
Giphy
Getting on the train before letting other passengers get off the train first.
Same for the elevator. I was going down the elevator once. This one isn't too busy, but occasionally there will be someone waiting to get on when I get off or vice versa, but it's like 1/20 uses. Anyway, I'm going down and the doors open and this older, maybe 60's or 70's-aged lady literally has her face at the door, waiting to get on. Startled me a bit, TBH, because she was like right square in the doorway. She moved off to the side a bit to let me off.
Your Time Is Not More Valuable Than Anyone Else's
Cutting in line when there's no emergency
Although I don't call people out on it, I'm always glad when there is someone else in line who isn't as timid and does so.
Like, Really? You KNOW That's Not Yours.
Taking someone else's lunch from the breakroom fridge.
Had a guy I worked with who was notorious for this. One day he sees me in the break room and goes "I didn't know that was yours, I took a drink from that."
I figured I'd teach him a lesson, so I said "you know I have herpes, right?" He got all bug-eyed and freaked out. Then I thought, I don't want him spreading rumors about me, so I said "I don't. But if I did, you'd be screwed. That's why you don't do that."
If There's No Room, Make Room
Taking up multiple seats on public transit when you can easily sit in one.
(Caveat, it's fine if it's mostly empty.)
This is the worst. Especially if it's someone who put their bag on the seat next to them. I get it, you want your personal space, but we're all in this sardine can together, so we might as well compromise.
You Can't Have Selective Eyesight
Beating another driver to a parking space, even though they were there first (with blinkers on) about to take it.
Like in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes:
"Face it, lady, we're younger and faster."
rams car
"Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."
A few friends and I were eating. Bill came to the table, we all laid out our tip money, and my friends boyfriend started pulling money out of the tip for his meal....The look on my friends faces...
I hope you stopped him.
You misspelled slapped
You misspelled [assassinate].
Whoa...D-Move, Bro.
Standing up to get your bags and crowd the gate door because youre Mr. Bigshot just after flight attendants told everyone to stay seated so medical personnel could evac the guy at the back of the plane who just had a heart attack in front of his kids.
Haven't We Grown Beyond This As A Species?
Giphy
Throwing your trash on the floor.
Especially when there's a trash can right over there
It's The Awkwardness That Keeps Money In Your Wallet
Ordering expensive food and/or drinks while out with friends and that guy says at the end "let's split it all evenly"
My wife has a lot of pretty wealthy friends, and we'll go out to group birthday dinners with them sometimes. This is especially a problem if we do tapas because there are a few guys that will just order a sh-t ton of food and expensive plates, expensive wine, and then expect to just split it evenly with everyone. My wife just tells them f-ck that and pays for what we ate. It's awkward.
Redditor K2TsU- wanted to hear tales about the kid everybody knew in school, and maybe not for the best reasons.
They asked:
"What was the most disturbing thing the popular kid did?"
The popular kids in my schools were pretty chill.
I mean they were elitist and rude alcoholics, but not violent so there is that.
Pooper
"Freshman year in high school the jocks pooped in their hands and smeared it all over bathroom walls of the place we were staying, on a school trip. As well as a lot of other weird crap." ~ IskandarSingh
GiphyThe Shooter
"Popular kid lived in other friends house with other friend and his girlfriend. Popular kid was always careless and weird around guns. After the bar other friend and girlfriend were laying in bed and popular kid came in and shot other friend in the head. The girl involved was faithful to her boyfriend and never showed interest in popular kid but all involved had known each other most of their lives." ~ Brainlessthe2nd
Psycho
"Pinned a girl down, with help of her mates, and forcibly shaved her eyebrows off in the middle of lunch. Teachers went ballistic, obviously but the poor girl got sent to school as normal by her mum the following day.Thankfully one of the girls that’s great with make up did her brows for her everyday until they grew in."
"The final straw was stealing a freaking huge knife from food tech. It was never locked as the school was old af, and the doors were crappy. She had a fight planned after school with the new girl, she has issues with prior to her starting. Thankfully, the police were quietly called after most of my year group told the office asap. She was marched out of class, soon after." ~ charlottee963
Tissues
"Oh man, I’m just now being reminded of how this one very popular, good looking kid used to masturbate in class. He would wear very baggy sweat pants and use tissue that he threw away in the classroom. Everyone knew he was doing it and I’m sure he knew that we all knew."
"Come to think of it, why the heck didn’t I think this was more weird when I was a kid?? I mostly just remember thinking 'there goes Cohen, throwing away his 'stuff' rags again…' ~ UptownShenanigans
Fighter
"Nothing as crazy as the other ones here, but he got into a fight with a kid and ended up breaking the other kid’s ribs pretty bad. he got expelled and charged with assault." ~ Pi-s
GiphySee crazy shows signs early.
Start your people survival kit now.
Criminal
"Rubbed a peanut butter sandwich in the face of a girl that was allergic. Oh and threw a pen at someone's face and they ended up in the eye infirmary." ~ melonsmcgee93
GiphyBully
"A football player at my school bullied everyone. One kid tried to fight back but the bully beat him almost to death. That kid is now in a wheelchair and needs 24/7 care. He has severe brain damage and is unable to take care of himself. He lives in a nursing home. Has been there now almost 20 years. The kid that beat him got 1 month in juve and now is the fire captain for a big metropolitan area." ~ tayvia99
Poison
"Science teacher at my school used to keep fish in her class room. A girl in my year thought it would be hilarious to poison them by tipping acid into the tank. Thus killing all the fish. Kids are horrible, why would anyone want to be a teacher is beyond me." ~ oublieternel
Bunch of Heathens
"Got beaten up, dragged down the street until my trousers ripped off and my birthday presents stolen by a couple of bullies on lunch break. After going back to school to report the incident and get some clothes, I was in a toilet cubicle and heard the bullies come in and remove their earrings and start pushing them into their faces to make themselves bleed so they could blame me for starting a fight. Luckily I wasn’t the only person that overheard and they got suspended. I also got suspended for leaving premises without a lunch pass." ~ Jazzlike-Bee-6284
Foreshadowing
"One of the 'popular kids' in my 5th grade class crushed a poor turtle to death at recess. 10 years later, he was arrested for shooting and killing someone during a home invasion." ~ CozyLemonade
GiphyWhat in the world?
If I were a teen today, I'd homeschool.
What a hot mess.
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For those who are not feeling particularly bubbly at the moment, Redditor Chillay_90 asked:
"So, what ya'll mad about today?"
Being employed is a good thing.
That doesn't mean work conditions are always favorable.
A General Consensus
"Going to work."
– jebidiabooyaa
"I'm grateful to have a job just not always happy to go to it."
– jebidiabooyaa
Uncredited Employee
"Made an amazing job at work and everyone else that was higher up involved 'shoved' me aside and took credit. Now I'm the guy that worked 14 hours a day since mid December and all I got was being credited as some minor helper."
"To make matters worst I complained and my 'reward' was getting extra work and my boss saying 'in Old Rome when a gladiator killed a lion he wouldn't get a day off, he would have to kill another one the next day.'"
"I am seriously considering quitting today."
"EDIT 1: RIP my inbox, I seriously can't answer the literal hundreds of messages I am receiving right now. I thank you all for the support. I wrote in this just to vent some steam and found a lot of support here in a really bad moment. Also I am not considering posting the story again on another board mostly because I just want to move on and forget this happened altogether."
"EDIT 2: Talked to my GF and my parents and they were kinda shocked with this and asked me to quit as both see that this really took a toll on me. We will figure something out in the mean time and I have some solid savings for a rainy day, so I guess this is the time to put them to use. Also I talked to my direct supervisors this morning, as they had always been supportive and they say they will back me up in this process and try to make the next weeks as smooth as possible. One of them is apparently also considering quitting for similar reasons."
– _Didds_
Overworked/Underappreciated
"I'm a high school teacher. It's understood that we stay late on Wednesday for grade level meetings, content meetings, and professional development/training."
"I plan my life during the school year around that fact. Considering we're here until close to 6PM some Wednesdays, I make sure all afternoon/evening plans and commitments are never on a Wednesday."
"We came back yesterday and SURPRISE, we're going to be staying until 6PM on Mondays for additional meetings and training opportunities!"
"I have therapy on Mondays. BECAUSE of this job where I'm treated like sh*t from 3 different directions."
"This is my last semester at this school, so I just won't be attending. Fire me during a teacher shortage. I dare you."
– Ghost0fBanquo
Opinions matter.
So angry Redditors sounded off theirs.
Personality Clash
"My roommate’s ex wife is a narcissist. He’s got sole custody, and she still manages to cause problems. She’s the most infuriating person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Everything Comes At An Exorbitant Cost
"Life is too f'king expensive."
– sam_francisco814
"For $9.99 you can unlock my opinion."
– Ryddim
Master Of Your Fate
"The fact that my future depends on me."
– BBQPHOENIX
That Time Of The Month
"It's the first day of my period, I'm mad about everything."
– whiskey__throwaway
Redditors discuss how the wide range of emotions they're feeling fueled the fire.
Soiling Clothing
"I got diarrhea and lowkey shat my pants."
"Edit at 0:36 AM: My house almost exploded due to my sister's idiocy. To tell it quickly: We have old main heating furnace that can take everything and those has option to heat up water only or to make heaters warm. She put two shovels of coal because she didn't care to check the lever that controls it. Thank god that entire house did a roar of nightmarish beast that sounded like it's about to devour you. I almost shat my pants again."
– Alex152Pl
Chill Factor
"The windchill is -40..."
– A40
Persistent Pain
"The migraine I had yesterday is still here today."
– GrumpyWampa
Grieving
"My dog collapsed right before Christmas. One blood transfusion and tons of meds later, she's on the mend."
"Went for her follow up today. Left the vet with one less dog."
"It's nobody's fault. Autoimmune disorder, probably. And she's 11, which is old, but for mini-dachshunds she should have had a few more good years."
"I'm just mad my poor dog is gone and there's nothing anyone could do about it. I miss you, Chloe."
– americancrank
Priorities
"My new computer has been updating for two hours. I want to play Sims 4."
– drunkplantmom
Let's all collectively take a deep breath.
Now exhale...
If you feel a little bit better and more relaxed, then good on you.
And if you're still feeling irritable, frustrated, or still majorly peeved, I hear you, and I validate your distress.
But whatever it is that's ticking you off, it could always be worse, amirite? All we could do is just hope for a better tomorrow. Cheers.
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"What is culturally accepted today that will be horrifying in 100 years?"
Medical advances have been impressive as of late.
Imagine the possibilities in the future and how the present will be reflected back upon.
The Treatment Option
"I’m a physician and I have this weird feeling like chemotherapy is going to be looked at as completely barbaric in 100 years. No better option now but my God it’s horrific in principle and in person."
– liketosaysalsa
The Effects Of Chemo
"Immunotherapy seems to be one of the more promising options right now."
"The problem with chemo is that it relies on a simple premise: cancer cells die rather more easily than regular cells. So if we poison the patient, hopefully we can kill off the cancer cells before we kill off the patient. (Incredibly simplified layperson's understanding!)."
"That's why the side effects are so nasty - any chemical that can kill off cells indiscriminately is going to have side effects."
– jimicus
How Far We've Come
"Yeah, like how a few hundred years ago surgical procedures were done without anesthetics and patients were just strapped down so they couldn't thrash around so much. It's horrifying, but at the time the people didn't have another option."
– captaindeadpl
More Poison
"I mean if you told me a few years ago a doctor would tell me I was going to be intentionally given arsenic for several months, I'd have laughed."
– PingEVE
A Bountiful Harvest
"Organ transplant lists. Eventually we will grow the organs in a lab."
– AndHereWeAre_
Public works and services are due for major upgrades.
Commute Nightmares
"High levels of traffic injuries and fatalities."
– zipzap21
Future Convo
"You can just hear the conversation."
"So Grandpa, how did you get around before automated cars?"
"We just, drove them ourselves!"
"Oh, was that safe?"
"Oh, no, millions of people died."
– pueblogreenchile
Reduce, Reuse, & Recycle-
"Waste. So much waste of food, of water, of materials. If we are to make it to space, we’re going to have to get to a point where as much stuff as possible is reclaimed, and it’s gonna start looking real insane to throw out things that could be put through a reclamation service."
– kharmatika
Environment-Unfriendly
"Plastic everywhere."
– TheRealOgMark
"Especially the single use kind. Plastic products existing aren't necessarily a bad thing, but mass producing that will take lifetimes to biodegrade and is expected to be thrown away is one of the most environmentally selfish things we do to our planet."
– rumblemumble46
If it's already not considered ghastly, the things we put in our bodies will be viewed as abominable, years from now.
Maybe.
So Sweet
"The high prevalence of sugar in our diets."
– zipzap21
The Savory
"And SALT, holy crap! After finding out I have a heart problem and needing to cut out as much sodium as possible I've found that it's nearly impossible to find low sodium versions of nearly everything I like to eat."
– CatLadyGrip
I sincerely hope breakthrough medical advances will come at a more rapid pace.
As several Redditors pointed out earlier in the thread, chemotherapy is one of few options that patients who are fighting cancer have.
And based on real-life testimonies, it sounds like a necessary, but absolutely horrific, last resort.
Cancer has overstayed its welcome. Hopefully, we won't have to wait 100 years until we can live in a world without it.
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Redditor seilseil wanted to discuss all the items that may cost a lot, but the price makes sense.
They asked:
"What's expensive and worth every penny?"
Adele tickets.
The last row in the arena is NOT the same as the front.
So yes, I'll pay for the Queen.
Quality.
Good Sitting
"A nice desk chair." ~ Ulzaf
"I bought my own for work. My spine thanks me." ~ Bloobeard2018
GiphyTeeth
"Regular dental care. I didn’t & now I face $10,000 to repair the damage." ~ Aunt-jobiska
"On vacation in Thailand right now. Spent $400 for what my US dentist wanted thousands to do. And I’ve been treated with such kindness and respect. Hospitals are great and reasonable too. I’ve had to use their services a couple times in my travels, currently going thru rabies regimen. Avoid cats you’re not familiar with." ~ MdnightRmblr
Sharp
"If you cook, a high quality chef knife." ~ NearPeerAdversary
"There is a point of diminishing returns above 100$ per knife. They get better the more you spend, but no that much better. I have had a few cheap knives and a few really expensive knives. IMO the Victorianox knives are the best value, you can get better but it will cost you." ~ BlackSuN42
Buy Cheap
"Proper tools." ~ mf_dcap
"Mythbusters said it best. The first time you buy a tool, but a cheap one. Sometimes the cheap ones work great and last forever. If you use the cheap one and it doesn't hold up, then buy the expensive one, because then you know how much you need it.
Edit: I had I kind of wrong. 'Buy cheap tools until you know what you really need from that tool, then buy the best version you can afford.' -Adam Savage." ~ blanchov
Staff
"Good employees." ~ IntegratedSSR
"My old boss said, I don’t think it’s his saying, but it was something like 'I'd rather spend money training you to be the best even if you leave, than not train you and you stay.'" ~ OhIamNotADoctor
GiphyAre you listening employers?
Pay people what they're worth and they'll show up for you!
Action!
"A front and rear dash cam for your car. Expensive is subjective." ~ Master_Tao
"Yes. I was recently in a car accident. Dude lost control and slid into me head on, thankfully everyone was ok. None of the CCTV cameras picked up the wreck."
"He went in and said I was the one that hit him. It’s been a two month long battle even though every ounce of evidence points to him. The main reason it’s still going on? No video evidence. I’ve already got a dash cam installed on my other vehicle." ~ I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Lift Easy
"Movers. Especially if you’re moving out of or into a place with stairs!" ~ NotMilquetoast
"I wish my family knew this. I’ve moved both sets of grandparents 4 times total and my parents 2. They own lots of antiques and heavy furniture. Growing up they told me why pay for movers when I have you and your brother?" ~ ElPuertoRican15
Feet Kindness
"Good shoes." ~ AcceptableSized*enis
"I’m a woman and even forgetting heels, a good pair of sneakers is really worth the money. I have plantar fasciitis and have to get specific shoes that could cost up to $200/pair sometimes. The relief I feel with those after continuously wearing regular $40 sneakers is definitely worth it!" ~ itchy-n0b0dy
Connection
"Don’t cheap out on anything that connects you to the ground, it’s literally supporting you. Beds, tires, chairs, and shoes." ~ gramathy
GiphyThat last one... yes, YES... YES!!!
Restful sleep, happy feet.
They make life worth living.
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