No matter who we love.... our significant others, or agents, our clients, fans or loved ones... it's never enough! And artists need the validation. That validation will help change the world. We're all trapped in moments but when we're most lucid we can change humanity! We should never fear the things we believe in; especially if it leads to progress.....
Acknowledging that you don't have the power/resources to care for a loved one and seeking help from a nursing home or adult protective services.
Dementia is no joke and it can slowly kill the souls of the family as well as the person suffering from the disease. Caregiver burnout can lead to psychoses, heart attacks, strokes, and suicide. These diseases can cause sufferers to become abusive and violent. The commercial ideal of the well-kept grandma who occasionally forgets things is so, so far from the truth for many families.
It's sad and causes so much guilt and anguish, but that's the reality we must live with. okapistripes
This may be a weird one, but not "letting people help" when I did not request help, and offers of help were politely declined. TerribleAttitude
No. Just no!
Telling your family "no" when you feel you have maxed out your contribution to whatever cause they are campaigning. Especially when their methods of negotiation include applying guilt. onetimerone
Healthy firm relationship boundaries. riendlyantisocial
My co-worker thinks "Good morning, how are you?" is an invitation to a 20 minute conversation. I get in, I get my coffee, I start my computer, I get settled. If I let her go at it, I wouldn't start working til almost 10 am. She gets put-out when I say, whatever. I just started and I was friendly the first week to get to know people. I just want to start my day without talking to anyone, I'm not really that friendly. NotMyHersheyBar
Limiting contact with a friend whose issues are now affecting your own happiness. You have to look out for yourself, too. opebirmingham
In high school one of the students in year 12 died and his friends were selling bracelets(I think) to raise money for his funeral. I couldn't afford one (they were like 10 dollars) as I was in year 9 and jobless without spare money. Anyway a lot of people were upset with me because I didn't have a bracelet for someone I didn't know and money I didn't have. arest7
You got this!!
Saying no to people. you don't have to always help people if it will spread you too thin. Self preservation is a thing. rngtrtl
I wish my Dad had given me the following advice earlier:
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Jazehiah
I think I'm alone now!
Sometimes it's insanely healthy to be with yourself.
Sometimes the timing doesn't mesh with others' lives. StanFitch
Sometimes 'Family" has to go!
Cutting off toxic family members/in-laws. I have cut my narcissistic abusive sister out of my life and I am in the process of cutting off my mother-in-law. Life is too short to allow abuse into your life because your abuser is a family member. Needlesstosa
Never involve Money!Giphy
Not giving money to family members. My longtime gf's family always asked her for money and I had to reassure it is okay not to give it because we have our own bills. BTW between the both of us her mom, brother, and sister have received money at one point in time. I am almost positive she has paid them more than I know, not my money, but they try to guilt us because we are in a better situation (we save a little after bills) and will never pay us back. HeyyJosh
Not catering to someone who says they'll kill themselves if you leave them. They're the selfish one for trying to put that mess on you, and you owe it to yourself not to break down over it. PonchiBear
If someone says they will kill themselves if you leave them, you actually need to leave them as soon as possible. That sort of person is totally manipulative. ididntshootmyeyeout
I'm not your funny!
I don't think it's selfish, but a lot of people in my life think it is. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I really don't care that my friends still drink, I just ask them not to talk to me if they're drinking because it's hard on me. I have gone off on some "friends" and actually straight up cut some people out of my life that think it's funny to drunk text me and send me pictures of alcohol and stuff because I'm the "drunk" of the group.
Nope. Screw you. You're blocked until you're sober and you apologize for being rude as hell. I'm not putting my sobriety at risk for your drunken laughs. sickbutterygnar
The Sound of Silence...Giphy
To my family apparently, just sitting contently in silence. Apparently I'm rude for not wanting to join in their inane conversations. ThatBritishPleb
This is the issue my partners family has with me. I'll gladly talk if I feel there's something I can contribute but I'm perfectly content with just sitting in silence whilst they have their own conversation. underclassamigo
Think first.... family later.
Being in your mid 20's and having no kids/not wanting kids. I'm still a kid. I don't have my spending habits under control. I love time to myself and silence. You think I'm selfish because I acknowledge I'm not ready to have kids and understand I'd be bringing a child into the world that I'd struggle to support? Once I'm financially stable and further on in life, sure. But the whole routine of kids having kids needs to stop. Sort your life out, then think about starting a family. FredDroppedCornbread
These balls are mine!
Not giving a baseball to a kid at a game. I've never caught a ball at a game in my life and it's something I've always wanted to do. Granted I'm absolutely not gonna shove some kid aside to get it but if I caught it I shouldn't be shamed and guilted into just giving it away. Sauce_McDog
Separate Check Please!
You know that thing where you go out to dinner with a bunch of people, everybody orders expensive stuff and wine and desert, but you just order an inexpensive salad? Then the bill comes, and they decide to split it, and say you owe $235 for your inexpensive salad?
Yeah, f**k that.
Me: "Hey, guys, I ordered a $10 salad, I'm not paying $235." I guess that is not really selfish, just sticking up for yourself. What co-diner would be pissed if you said this? None. So, what I am saying, if this ever happens to you, speak up and don't go with the program. No one will judge you.
Source: Happened to me once. Once.
So, for you youngsters, they say you should learn from others' mistakes? Learn this one.
And, make double-damn sure you ask up front if you are paying your own way, or splitting equally, when you are first asked to go. That way, you can pass. That's the other thing I learned and do. "Hey, is this a pay your own way, or split equal deal? I'm a light eater and don't want to pay $235 for a $12 salad." That's what you say. In a joking way, but makes the point.
This is if you're not going out for some important meeting with your boss' boss' boss. Or something like that. That's a different situation. Man_with_lions_head
Pop it somewhere else!
Not buying overpriced popcorn from Boy Scouts. I still do and respect the kid coming to my door but you shouldn't be allowed to use kids in a situation where companies make money. I'd rather just give you cash. At least Girl Scout cookies are 6 bucks. sharpshooter88
No is the best word!Giphy
I used to say yes whenever somebody needed me or needed something from me. After going through a few events where I desperately needed somebody to be there for me in the same way (and nobody was), I realized running myself until I'm dead tired trying help and please others isn't worth it.
I don't have to hang out with people I don't want to. I don't have to rearrange my schedule to swap a shift with my coworker who has poor life planning skills. I don't have to pet sit for you even though you know I have nothing else going on that weekend. Last but not least, I'm not going to be a last minute add on to your vacation because your other friend backed out and you can't find somebody else to go.
No excuses necessary, the word "no" is enough. People act like this is some mind boggling thing and it's somehow rude. casualcat96
I'm just signing the card...
Not wanting to contribute to the leaving gift for a coworker that you barely knew. Dharmsara
I'm OK with contributing for a gift for a co worker I don't know well, but I get along with. But, I'm not OK with being asked for a contribution if they are leaving the same week I start. thatdarnnumber117
Save yourself first....
This may get buried but I just had to end my marriage of 9 years due to my partner's addiction. I was losing myself in their descent and spiral and I couldn't take it any more. It's still really fresh and really painful (and actually today is our anniversary) but it's what I need to do for myself to keep myself alive. I need to trust they will find their way without me and I'll find my way too. Thanks for reading. needathneed
None of us are perfect pr Saints amongst us. We all do the best we can. What things have you all done that came off more selfish? Though you KNOW you were being your best self!
Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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It's well-known that the brain of a teenager is a half-formed thing. But that doesn't stop us from getting down ourselves for those old mistakes even years later, as full-blown adults.
Injuries, social falling outs, bad habits started and good habits stopped--all are ripe for putting a knot in our stomachs a decade or more later.
Truly, a big part of adulthood is learning to accept and live with yourself, warts and all.
And many of those warts are composed of mistakes that you can never undo.
Redditor zepher_goose asked:
"Which mistake did you make as a teenager that is still biting you in the a**?"
Many Redditors talked about the things they did that left them with a very direct, long-lasting physical difficulties. Often, the mistake was a single moment, but its consequences go on for years.
"Not wearing my seatbelt. At least my wheelchair is fast." -- CrippleOverlord
"So sorry buddy. I hate that you had to learn that lesson in that way. Best of luck to you." -- ai_test_run
Choose Your Object Wisely
"Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn't properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn't hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that's when I'd go."
"Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road."
Decades of Healing
"Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16)."
"Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well."
That Faint Hissing
"Listened to music way too loud and now i have tinnitus forever. Still hate myself for that one..." -- elgherkin
"Tinnitus is one of those things that before you have it you're like, 'How bad can it be?' But once you have it...." -- Aradne
Others discussed the awful habits they started as teenagers without much forethought for how difficult it was going to be to stop later on.
How They Get Ya
"Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting."
"I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think 'damn a cigarette would be good right now' "
What Is and What Could Have Been
"Gambling excessively, that sh** is dangerous man, just don't do it." -- Hazzmeister72
"Man, had I not been gambling (sports gambling mostly) since 2001 I'd have had a house since 2012 at the latest. Finally got the strength to quit Feb 2020, right before Covid. My bank account has never been so healthy. Fu** gambling" -- lawdhavmercee
Fleeting and Cheap
"Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences." -- Glittering_Cup9438
"I feel you my friend....and a lot of memories you don't even remember." -- TouchDaPhishy
Finally, some zeroed in on the decisions they made, be it socially or professionally, that have had intangible impacts on their well-being and lifestyles.
Find Your Niche
"Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends."
"I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years."
"I said a lot of stupid sh** with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life."
The Harder Way
"Dropping out of college to get married. Going back in my 30s with adult responsibilities and a full time job was the most chaotic time of my life." -- dogandbutterfly1978
"I'll be 31 with 2 kids (a 2 year old and a one year old) when I get be BS next May...I fu**in feel ya on that one." -- SCViper
This list illustrates the first step in getting over it: naming the monkey on your back. Then comes the harder part: letting it go.
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As FDR once said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". But I beg to differ--I have every right to be afraid of heights. I have every right to be too scared to go to the Empire State Building, and cry every time I play a VR game that involves being on the top of fake buildings. The fear is real, y'all.
As it turns out, there are a lot of universal fears out there. And the people of Reddit have a thing or two to say. Suck it, Roosevelt. WowADeadMidget asked:
What's your biggest fear?
I haven’t even started this article yet, and I’m already sweating. Let’s dive in.
That would keep me awake too.
“Drowning, getting stuck in some tight place and asphyxiating/dying of hunger in there, or getting steamed to death.
That's pretty much the shared 1st place."
“I'm 34 years old and was very close to drowning last year. Got dumped out of a canoe and was pinned against a tree in a current. I pulled myself out and it took about every bit of upper body strength I had, didn't even really realize the severity of it while it was happening because if my head had stayed under I was done for. A person of smaller stature would have been in very serious trouble in the same situation. I think about it a lot too, usually when I'm trying to go to sleep lol."
A valid fear.Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“I choked on a piece of steak home alone a few months ago and had to give myself the Heimlich maneuver. It took 3 tries. I'll never forget my dog staring at me and the thought of my girlfriend coming home to find me dead on the floor of our apartment.
Now I think about that every time I eat by myself. So choking to death alone is my greatest fear."
This is heartbreaking.
“Biggest fear is losing everything I have worked so hard for later in life. I watched my parents work hard do everything right build wealth and then almost towards their 50s my father got sick, lost his job. And now struggle to make ends they had to sell anything that had any value to them.
Now they just go through life with seemingly little enjoyment because they had everything set and in a blink of an eye it was gone and probably never come back.”
This is why you should check in with your friends.
“Being one of those people who dies alone in their home and doesn't get found for weeks or more because they have no one who cares enough to notice they're not around anymore.”
“There was an old man in our vicinity who died like this. Apparently he died on the toilet and been there for weeks in the summer heat with closed windows and doors so the smell was also not noticable to the neighbours. The firemen and policemen brought the body down from the flat in two bags apparently it was already falling into several pieces.
The smell was lingering in the apartment for a few days, one of my friends lives two floors down and he said it was unbearable.”
Let’s go deeper, shall we? Sorry in advance.
Good advice.Will Smith Memory GIF by STARZGiphy
“Memory loss!!! Literally, everything I know in my life is memories.”
“When I started to have memory problems, it super freaked me out. Now it's a little easier. I surround myself with trusted people and write everything down. Memory is important, but if you take care of yourself and find ways to keep them externally it can help a lot. Memory books, notes, friends.”
“Deep water or caves with no light that you have to crawl to get through. So a cave full of water would be the worst.
That or what happened to that guy who was repairing an industrial bread oven when it turned on and he couldn't switch it back off from the inside.”
I’m sorry, WHAT???
You're fine one moment, and then the next day you have a headache. Turns out you got infected on that camping trip six years ago and it's been hiding in you ever since.
Now that you have a headache, it's in your brain and you're already dead. There's next to nothing doctors can do except put you in a coma and say a prayer, but odds are nearly 100% that if you do survive that you're a vegetable or nearly one.
You experience incredible pain, irrational hydrophobia, manic behavioral changes, and a total loss of motor control near the end. It's got to be one of the most humiliating, dehumanizing and terrifying ways to go, and it can happen just like that.
Rabies is terrifying.”
If that last one didn’t shake you, these next few will. Read at your own risk.
All we can do is stay optimistic.heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
“Not being alive anymore - the finality.
I'm not afraid of dying - the act of it, anyway. I'm not afraid of what comes next - I've not bothered myself with that one.
What I'm afraid of is being… done. Here one day, then gone. Not able to do anything else.
I cannot out it into better words, that's how suffocating the anxiety of being gone is for me. Maybe it would be better if I were religious and believed in an after life, but the best I can do is convince myself that I believe your personal energy spreads to other beautiful things in life when you pass. But the mind, the mind just being… done. That is truly frightening to me.”
Don’t watch the latest Purge movie.
“Societal collapse. A climate or economic or disease-based destruction of society as we know it. Every part of normal life ceasing to exist, and every person having to fend for themselves. There's a documentary called 'Collapse' that scared the crap out of me."
"An even more frightening thought is that collapse is already happening, and we just don't have the perspective to recognize it. After the collapse of Rome, people living in Roman territories still considered themselves Romans for a long time, even though the Roman state was gone. Granted, things happen a lot more quickly in the modern world, and that in and of itself is concerning - the rate of change is ever-increasing. What happens to any system that encounters increasingly rapid changes? What happens to an airplane or a bridge or a human being whose rate of change keeps accelerating? They spin out of control until failure.
Climate change is a potentially civilization-ending event amongst several other candidates for bringing about our doom. Nobody has bothered to fix it yet, and even with more mundane problems, I feel that the government has already abandoned us. Just like some poor farmers five hundred miles away from the city of Rome, we cannot hope for the state to come and save us once things break down - they'll be too busy enjoying the last of their feasts, orgies, or taxpayer-funded drugs before the lights go out."
A parent’s worst nightmare.
“The thought of anything/anyone hurting or something seriously bad happening to my daughter.
I once heard someone say that having a child is like taking a piece of your heart and letting it walk around outside of your body.
That’s exactly what it feels like. I don't care for much things, but I would be nothing but an empty shell without her.”
Alright, now that you’ve read all of that, go drink some water and take a nap. It was a doozy.
Now I’m thinking about societal collapse. Great.