No matter who we love.... our significant others, or agents, our clients, fans or loved ones... it's never enough! And artists need the validation. That validation will help change the world. We're all trapped in moments but when we're most lucid we can change humanity! We should never fear the things we believe in; especially if it leads to progress.....
Redditor u/spankthewhitewhale wanted to unburden a few feelings by asking.... What comes across as selfish but actually isn't?
Damn Age!
GiphyAcknowledging that you don't have the power/resources to care for a loved one and seeking help from a nursing home or adult protective services.
Dementia is no joke and it can slowly kill the souls of the family as well as the person suffering from the disease. Caregiver burnout can lead to psychoses, heart attacks, strokes, and suicide. These diseases can cause sufferers to become abusive and violent. The commercial ideal of the well-kept grandma who occasionally forgets things is so, so far from the truth for many families.
It's sad and causes so much guilt and anguish, but that's the reality we must live with. okapistripes
HELP!!!
This may be a weird one, but not "letting people help" when I did not request help, and offers of help were politely declined. TerribleAttitude
No. Just no!
Telling your family "no" when you feel you have maxed out your contribution to whatever cause they are campaigning. Especially when their methods of negotiation include applying guilt. onetimerone
No Co-Workers!
Healthy firm relationship boundaries. riendlyantisocial
My co-worker thinks "Good morning, how are you?" is an invitation to a 20 minute conversation. I get in, I get my coffee, I start my computer, I get settled. If I let her go at it, I wouldn't start working til almost 10 am. She gets put-out when I say, whatever. I just started and I was friendly the first week to get to know people. I just want to start my day without talking to anyone, I'm not really that friendly. NotMyHersheyBar
You're #1!
GiphyLimiting contact with a friend whose issues are now affecting your own happiness. You have to look out for yourself, too. opebirmingham
Mr. Shue?!
In high school one of the students in year 12 died and his friends were selling bracelets(I think) to raise money for his funeral. I couldn't afford one (they were like 10 dollars) as I was in year 9 and jobless without spare money. Anyway a lot of people were upset with me because I didn't have a bracelet for someone I didn't know and money I didn't have. arest7
You got this!!
Saying no to people. you don't have to always help people if it will spread you too thin. Self preservation is a thing. rngtrtl
I wish my Dad had given me the following advice earlier:
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Jazehiah
I think I'm alone now!
Solitude.
Sometimes it's insanely healthy to be with yourself.
Sometimes the timing doesn't mesh with others' lives. StanFitch
Sometimes 'Family" has to go!
Cutting off toxic family members/in-laws. I have cut my narcissistic abusive sister out of my life and I am in the process of cutting off my mother-in-law. Life is too short to allow abuse into your life because your abuser is a family member. Needlesstosa
Never involve Money!
GiphyNot giving money to family members. My longtime gf's family always asked her for money and I had to reassure it is okay not to give it because we have our own bills. BTW between the both of us her mom, brother, and sister have received money at one point in time. I am almost positive she has paid them more than I know, not my money, but they try to guilt us because we are in a better situation (we save a little after bills) and will never pay us back. HeyyJosh
Seek Treatment...
Not catering to someone who says they'll kill themselves if you leave them. They're the selfish one for trying to put that mess on you, and you owe it to yourself not to break down over it. PonchiBear
If someone says they will kill themselves if you leave them, you actually need to leave them as soon as possible. That sort of person is totally manipulative. ididntshootmyeyeout
I'm not your funny!
I don't think it's selfish, but a lot of people in my life think it is. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I really don't care that my friends still drink, I just ask them not to talk to me if they're drinking because it's hard on me. I have gone off on some "friends" and actually straight up cut some people out of my life that think it's funny to drunk text me and send me pictures of alcohol and stuff because I'm the "drunk" of the group.
Nope. Screw you. You're blocked until you're sober and you apologize for being rude as hell. I'm not putting my sobriety at risk for your drunken laughs. sickbutterygnar
The Sound of Silence...
GiphyTo my family apparently, just sitting contently in silence. Apparently I'm rude for not wanting to join in their inane conversations. ThatBritishPleb
This is the issue my partners family has with me. I'll gladly talk if I feel there's something I can contribute but I'm perfectly content with just sitting in silence whilst they have their own conversation. underclassamigo
Think first.... family later.
Being in your mid 20's and having no kids/not wanting kids. I'm still a kid. I don't have my spending habits under control. I love time to myself and silence. You think I'm selfish because I acknowledge I'm not ready to have kids and understand I'd be bringing a child into the world that I'd struggle to support? Once I'm financially stable and further on in life, sure. But the whole routine of kids having kids needs to stop. Sort your life out, then think about starting a family. FredDroppedCornbread
These balls are mine!
Not giving a baseball to a kid at a game. I've never caught a ball at a game in my life and it's something I've always wanted to do. Granted I'm absolutely not gonna shove some kid aside to get it but if I caught it I shouldn't be shamed and guilted into just giving it away. Sauce_McDog
Separate Check Please!
You know that thing where you go out to dinner with a bunch of people, everybody orders expensive stuff and wine and desert, but you just order an inexpensive salad? Then the bill comes, and they decide to split it, and say you owe $235 for your inexpensive salad?
Yeah, f**k that.
Me: "Hey, guys, I ordered a $10 salad, I'm not paying $235." I guess that is not really selfish, just sticking up for yourself. What co-diner would be pissed if you said this? None. So, what I am saying, if this ever happens to you, speak up and don't go with the program. No one will judge you.
Source: Happened to me once. Once.
So, for you youngsters, they say you should learn from others' mistakes? Learn this one.
And, make double-damn sure you ask up front if you are paying your own way, or splitting equally, when you are first asked to go. That way, you can pass. That's the other thing I learned and do. "Hey, is this a pay your own way, or split equal deal? I'm a light eater and don't want to pay $235 for a $12 salad." That's what you say. In a joking way, but makes the point.
This is if you're not going out for some important meeting with your boss' boss' boss. Or something like that. That's a different situation. Man_with_lions_head
Pop it somewhere else!
Not buying overpriced popcorn from Boy Scouts. I still do and respect the kid coming to my door but you shouldn't be allowed to use kids in a situation where companies make money. I'd rather just give you cash. At least Girl Scout cookies are 6 bucks. sharpshooter88
No is the best word!
GiphySaying no.
I used to say yes whenever somebody needed me or needed something from me. After going through a few events where I desperately needed somebody to be there for me in the same way (and nobody was), I realized running myself until I'm dead tired trying help and please others isn't worth it.
I don't have to hang out with people I don't want to. I don't have to rearrange my schedule to swap a shift with my coworker who has poor life planning skills. I don't have to pet sit for you even though you know I have nothing else going on that weekend. Last but not least, I'm not going to be a last minute add on to your vacation because your other friend backed out and you can't find somebody else to go.
No excuses necessary, the word "no" is enough. People act like this is some mind boggling thing and it's somehow rude. casualcat96
I'm just signing the card...
Not wanting to contribute to the leaving gift for a coworker that you barely knew. Dharmsara
I'm OK with contributing for a gift for a co worker I don't know well, but I get along with. But, I'm not OK with being asked for a contribution if they are leaving the same week I start. thatdarnnumber117
Save yourself first....
This may get buried but I just had to end my marriage of 9 years due to my partner's addiction. I was losing myself in their descent and spiral and I couldn't take it any more. It's still really fresh and really painful (and actually today is our anniversary) but it's what I need to do for myself to keep myself alive. I need to trust they will find their way without me and I'll find my way too. Thanks for reading. needathneed
None of us are perfect pr Saints amongst us. We all do the best we can. What things have you all done that came off more selfish? Though you KNOW you were being your best self!
These were explored when Redditor Fronzie7 quoted a famous music icon to ask:
"Frank Sinatra said, 'The best revenge is massive success' What's a real-life example of this?"
Everyone loves a good Hollywood ending.
You Know You've Made It When You're On A Lunchbox
"Michael J.Fox has a great story about when he started out. Some big wheel at the network didn't like him for the role of Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was too short, not cute, not heart throb enough, you're never going to see his face on a lunch box. But the producer cast him anyway and the show shot to number one and stayed there."
"Fox sent him a Family Ties lunch box with his face on it and then Back to the Future 1,2,3 lunch boxes."
– Hazelsmom64
A Rocky Start To An Amazing Career
"Sylvester Stallone as well. Casting agents told him he was too stupid looking and he'd only get small roles as the thug who got beaten up. He said he literally went to every casting agent in NYC and got rejected by all of them."
"Even after he wrote Rocky and found producers, they didn't want him to star in it."
– YounomsayinMawfk
The Dreamgirl Who Never Stopped Dreaming
"Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol and became more successful than the winner."
– Stashdragon
"She is a recent EGOT winner and the youngest woman to do it. 7th Place looks fantastic on her."
– jdmccoy
Against all odds, the end result was a victory for these accomplished individuals.
Home Surveillance Home Run
"The guy who invented Ring cameras went on Shark Tank and was rejected by everyone. They all thought it would fail….we’ll you know the rest."
– Ruzzthabus
"He went back on Shark Tank after that, but this time as one of the sharks."
– 1Land_1Keep
The Skies The Limit
"Ron McNair had the police called on him when he was little because he was black and reading in a library. He grew up to be an astronaut and the library he was kicked out of was later named after him."
– sperdush
"For those who may not be familiar with his name; he was one of the Challenger crew members on January 28, 1986."
– This-Marsupial-6187
Emerged From The Shallow
"When Lady GaGa was in college, some of her classmates had a Facebook group called 'Stefani Germanotta, you'll never be famous.'"
"Pretty sure she proved them wrong."
– NotHisRealName
Now these are smart business moves.
Recipe For Success
"Erin French, chef-owner of restaurant The Lost Kitchen in rural Maine."
"Co-owned a restaurant in the town of Belfast with her husband; a very tumultuous relationship ended with him changing the locks on the building with all of her equipment inside."
"She licked her wounds, leased space in an old mill building in her tiny hometown of Freedom, and built from the ground one of the best restaurants in the country, with a coveted reservation that is fabled for its difficulty to get a table. Has her own multi-season documentary on TV and is absolutely killing it in the culinary world now."
– Girhinomofe
A Toy Story
"George Lucas got the ownership of the toy rights to star wars because they don’t think it would be successful. He made an absolute killing on those."
– Birds-aint-real-
"Not just the toy rights, he got the entire IP in exchange for waiving is salary."
– xdert
Lamborghini Origin Story
"Italian industrialist, builder of tractors, made a mint out of it and rewarded himself with a new Ferrari."
"Ferrari broke down. Needed a new clutch. Wealthy industrialist waited patiently for his new clutch to arrive, and after many weeks it finally showed up - same clutch he was putting in his tractors, more than twice the price."
"A little bit annoyed at this, he rang Ferrari to complain. They told him 'go back to building tractors, leave supercars to us.'"
"And Lamborghini was born..."
– RaffiaWorkBase
Gaming Victory
"Sony and Nintendo were working on a console together before the N64 came out, intending to utilize Nintendo's gaming hardware combined with Sony's sound tech to create games with more immersive sound capabilities than have been seen before. Partway through development and immediately following Sony's announcement of their partnership, Nintendo backed out of the deal, which if you're not aware of Japanese business etiquette, is kind of a d*ck move."
"Nintendo backed out to work with Philips to put Nintendo games on the CDi, which resulted in the worst-received Nintendo games of all time."
"Sony, out of spite, went on to make the PlayStation, one of the best-selling consoles in gaming history, and cement themselves as a massive player in the console wars to this day."
– Critical-String8774
Be Kind And Rewind
"Blockbuster laughed baby Netflix out of the room with their idea. Then later, grown-up Netflix killed blockbuster."
– ChurroForSure-o
"Best thing for Netflix, really. Blockbuster would have driven themselves and the Netflix rent model out of business through mismanagement."
"I don't know about you, but I can't live in a world without Voltron: Legendary Defender."
– Tobias_Atwood
So what's the moral of the story?
Basically, always be kind and never make anyone feel less than they deserve. You never know what the future brings, and you putting down someone for your own fleeting gain will come back to haunt you.
Also, remember that karma works in mysterious ways.
Redditor Cyber_Optics05 wanted to discuss all the reasons friends tend to go their separate ways, so they asked:
"What kicked off the end of a friend group?"
Just life.
That's how my groups have disbanded.
It happens.
Vanished
GIF by VPROGiphy"Two of us got in relationships and just... vanished. I get it, the honeymoon period is a hell of a drug, but it hurts to know that some people are one good date away from forgetting they have friends."
Schroedingersrabbit
Goodbyes
"They all died, within a month. To be clear, they were all older guys, 68, 74, and 89 (I was about 50). Group of friends I had in my building, we'd have coffee every day and watch a few sitcoms, and chat."
"Fred died first, which was sad, but the dude was nearly 90. Then Terry died, he had a couple of chronic conditions, and a chemo treatment messed everything up. And then a couple weeks Dave died, from complications caused by Complex Regional Pain Disorder. For him, death was a mercy."
Squigglepig52
Pasted
"The friend who was the 'glue' of the group moved to the other coast and one of the couples broke up the same weekend. I tried to invite the old gang to a birthday party and the only one who showed up was the one who moved."
Evening-Ambition-406
"That’s similar to what’s happening with my friend group. I was the glue, but now I’ve gotten too busy to be able to hang out, so it all kind of just fell apart. The few times I show up to lunch no one says anything."
Dry_Cell560
Being Fair
"In the middle of that right now. Used to play video games several nights a week, DND every other week, and meet up to hang out on a regular basis. Then he met someone, and he just started bailing on everything and has now moved in with them after 4 months. Never even made an effort to introduce us to the new person. I've just got to accept that he's happy, and I'm glad for that, but I'm also not willing to put in the effort for no return, and that's also fair."
karnim
New Chapters
Jump Yes GIF by Valparaiso UniversityGiphy"Grad school finished and we all scattered."
whywasthatagoodidea
"Grad school was the last time it was easy to make friends. Now in the adulting world and it all sucks. Especially if you don't have kids and that's the main way adults seem to pair up is having kids involved in things where you meet other parents."
growling_owl
The school days are over.
Then so is the love.
Drama
joan collins march GIFGiphy"One of us broke up my sister's marriage and started immediately dating her after she kicked her husband out. And they tried to act like nothing happened."
darthurface
Money Changes Everything
"They all got rich. I did not."
Dudian613
"I remember as a kid version I very specifically drifted away from my high school friend group because all my friends at the time were super smart and successful and I was on a straight shot to community college (loved community college no hate just as a teenager at the time it's hard to see the value over the flashier universities)."
Sad_Quote1522
Blown Apart
"One friend started dating one of the other friend's ex. Blew apart a 35+ year friendship we had between four of us since grade school. We all live within 2 miles of each other, but none of us have talked to any of the others in over 25 years."
wyoflyboy68
"I need to point out that the only person to ruin anything is the friend whose ex started dating one of the group. they were not together and you can't fault love. because they got all up in their feelings doesn't mean the other person did something wrong."
glucoseintolerant
The Great Upheaval
"COVID wrecked a lot of my social life. We had a weekly game night and weekly trivia night and a few other semi-regular events and none of them have come back."
"A lot of my friends have gotten married or started families over the pandemic so it's possible that maybe this was going to happen anyway, but it sucks to go from a pretty thriving social routine to nothing. I still have friends and we still do things together but I miss the regularity we used to have."
Badloss
The Next Generation
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Kids. One of the couples got pregnant and within a couple of months, it basically went from 12-15 of us down to 4. Can’t complain though. The 4 of us are living much better lives now."
BigOgre2010
Kids ruin everything.
Get a dog.
They adapt to friends better.
Kidding, of course!
Have you ever experienced a friend group falling apart? Let us know in the comments.
