Ideally life is a rollercoaster of highs and lows.
Constant highs set up an unrealistic expectation of the world that can come crashing down hard over the smallest setbacks.
Constant lows are just plain cruel.
A mix helps develop coping skills and problem solving while not crushing the spirit.
Curious about what constituted low points, Reddit user beesechugersports asked:
"What was the worst year of your life?"
Childhood Trauma
"1987. I was 13."
My dad was killed when he was hit by a car. Total accident."
"I think about the driver sometimes. I hope he forgave himself."
"I honestly don't recall ever feeling anything toward that guy. I think I was more upset with the neighbor who came to our door to tell us he thought my dad was in an accident."
"My mom piled us in the car and we drove down the street to the scene. My dad's body was under a sheet.
"That night I was numb until my mom hugged me and I bawled in her arms. After that I pretty much shut down emotionally for a couple decades."
"Took me a long time to get help for my own PTSD."
~ surfingonmars
Losses
"2011 - Lost my job, girlfriend, friends, had to move back in with my folks where I fell into a deep depression."
"That went on on until 2014 when I was able to turn the ship around."
~ max-peck
"People underestimate how horrible those 2-3 yrs of depression feel."
"I was in rock bottom depression for 2 yrs and it felt like a decade passing by."
~ secondhand_bra
Future Derailed
"2012. The year started out great. I met and befriended an adult film actress on my birthday and had an active sex life for the first time ever."
"I was finally off the night shift at my job. I applied for grad school. I was accepted into a program for veterans at the Writer's Guild of America."
"I had finally arrived."
"But by September it was all over. My relationship with 'Nadia' had turned toxic and ended in a huge fight."
"I was rejected from grad school. The WGA program didn't pan out for me."
"Worst of all, I was fired from my good job. I nearly became homeless and had to go back to working the night shift guarding a gated community in Beverly Hills."
"By the year's end, I was alone and broke (I would declare bankruptcy early the next year) with no hope for the future."
~ SgtSharki
Economic Downturn
"2014. My business suffered a 4 million dollar loss."
"Then my fiancée who I was with for 6 years left me for her boss just 3 months before our wedding."
"I wasn't able to find another partner but I did recover from the absolute shambles I was in."
"Just the fact that I'm able to function normally and interact with people again without breaking down is a big win for me."
~ S_MZ
Post College Struggles
"2014—the year I graduated college and was looking for work and had bad acne and unrelenting pressure from my parents and a poor social life and I worked Uber while studying for the Chartered Financial Analyst exam that I ended up failing."
~ Damerman
Friends Lost
"2017. I lost my best friend that year.. we met during our first year of university and immediately hit it off and became close."
"We were inseparable for 7 years. I’ve never been the same since then.. I died with him."
"I wish I could’ve helped him.. I wish I could just take one last drive and smoke one last cigarette with him ,and tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me."
"Please tell your friends that you love them whenever you get the chance.. you never know when will be the last time you hang out together."
~ Syouf
Seeing the Light
"2018. Realized I was part of a cult."
"It was called the Great Commission Churches when I attended though they’ve changed their name multiple times over the years when they’ve been accused of abusive practices."
~ Consistent-Way-2018
Long Road to Recovery
"2019. Last straw at my job, where the management team turned on me, resulting in me putting in my 2 weeks after my complaint against a lying supervisor was dismissed."
"Had no more income, so I couldn't pay rent, and thus had to move out of the shared house I had with a friend and his fiancée (wasn't on lease, had no obligation to stay, and the fiancée even told me "you know, you don't have to live here" during an argument)."
"Said fiancée convinced him to turn on me and drop me as a friend, which resulted in him going off and convincing the only other friend I had to do the same."
"Covid hit."
"My cat developed a genetic illness that paralyzed her and my step-father put her down behind my back. My childhood dog developed cancer and was suffering so she was also put down, but I was able to hold her while she passed."
"Great aunt died of cancer, great uncle (other side of family) died of cancer."
"That was the lowest I've ever been, and I haven't even recovered 20% yet."
~ Whatsa-Throwaway
Pandemic Pandemonium
"2021 was the year when my mental health was worse than ever."
"Looking back I'm proud of myself that I just survived."
~ Master-Mood1816
"Well done on that and also, same."
"2021 can go straight in the bin."
~ sicklything
GiphyAftermath
"On the flip side 2021 was probably one of the best years of mine as an adult."
"My girlfriend and I were able to spend so much time together because she was only working maybe 1 day a week and I worked at an empty warehouse from 7 to 3 Monday to Friday."
"When everything went back to normal we both were working so much we ended up splitting up, so I guess 2022 sucked pretty bad."
~ ofTHEbattle
"2023. By far the worst year of my life.
"Got laid off, took forever to find a new job, fiancée got pregnant then lost it then she got cancer, hated my new job, went heavily into debt to survive, fiancée beats cancer, she gets a life insurance payout from her father's passing, she gets pregnant again."
"Then I find out after she up and vanishes suddenly that every single thing was a lie. She faked it all from top to bottom for two years and pulled the rug out from under me, suddenly running off with our dogs."
"Since then I guess she needs some sick gratification that she’s not getting from just all that and continues to stalk me on social media/Reddit as well as spoof her phone number to text me sh*t with purely the intent of trying to hurt me."
"Losing the dogs hurt and still hurts, won’t lie, but being rid of her has been nothing short of a blessing."
~ Ok_Outside_4650
"This year—2023."
"My dog died in June."
"My wife died in July."
"My cat died in August."
"I have 5 kids."
~ MichaelHoncho
Dear whatever doesn't kill me, I'm strong enough now.
"Every year seems to beat the previous."
~ BenChodABQ
Oof, that's a lot to take.
While some are still going through it, many have already come out on the other side.
Here's hoping better days are ahead soon for everyone.
Giphy
A good friend is not always the one with whom you share laughs and fun experiences.
The friendships you want to keep include those who won't abandon you in a time of need or someone who supports you in a variety of complicated situations where not even a family member can be relied upon.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced a time when a person's true colors revealed to us that the so-called "friend" we've always trusted wasn't one at all.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Aesthetik_1 asked:
"What made you instantly realize This 'friend' is not a real friend?"
These Redditors didn't realized at the time that they were being used.
Recurring Favor
"When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later."
– Queasy-Location-9303
"I have one of those 'friends'. She always gushes about how we're friends but she never initiates contact unless she wants me to do something for her."
– StiffAssedBrit
The Errand Girl
"Several years back, I had a friend who introduced me to this new boy she was seeing. Maybe a year later, their relationship blew up in a fury of bs (whole other story), but by the time they split, I was equally friends with both of them. He and I were both photographers at the time, so the friendship was instantaneous."
"One day we started talking about her, neither positively nor in poor taste, just kind of in general."
"He then asked me 'when she texts to hang out, what does she usually want to do?'"
"I paused. I thought. Holy sh*t, she'd either be asking for a favour or for help with some kind of errand. I was her f'king errand girl."
"She texted me a month or two later, just a 'hey'. I never responded. She never texted again."
"I'm still friends with her ex, though. That dude is genuine as heck."
– ChamomileBrownies
Testing The Friendship
"When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again."
– plzdontgetmad
"Yup. Made plans with a friend three times, she cancelled each time. I finally told her to let me know when she was free, we haven’t hung out since."
"She was a good friend for the season, but not a lifetime."
– NoMrBond3
People were shocked to discover the moment they realized they didn't really know who their "friend" was anymore.
The Chaperon
"I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close."
"One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck."
"She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I had to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways."
"She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her."
"I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the shi* feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her mom's rules. She rode the bus til she graduated."
– Duffarum
Unwilling Companion
"I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her."
"Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, 'My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave.'"
"It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later."
– Auldale
There's the spirit of competition, but when it's taken seriously, we're no longer game for these friendships.
I Can Do It Better
"Constantly 'one ups' me. A real friend is happy for you."
– Complex-Half8338
"That one time I got a fake bag but she doesn’t know and then 2 weeks later messaged me that she also bought a luxury bag… Then when I got a bf, she also went to get a bf within 3 months which is TOTALLY fine but she constantly messages me for us to go on a double date. Anyways, sadly they didn’t last long :( I mentioned that I wanted to go to Cuba, she went ahead and bought herself a ticket to Cuba but I didn’t end up going lol"
– Hot-Coffee-8465
Never Steal The Spotlight
"When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous."
– Jasssin23
"Yes! I recently ghosted a friend because of this kind of behavior. She was trying to compete about EVERYTHING. Like she bragged about how her mom’s car accident was more traumatic than my elderly MIL’s - which is not even an appropriate thing to compare. She would also try to 'outshine' celebrations of my milestones and was mean to several of my friends for no apparent reason. She was a loose cannon at best."
– thefifthtrilogy
All About Me
"ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself."
– PokemomOnTheGo
People can just be so rude.
"When I got really sick. Very few came to help."
– Tofflus1
"Same here. I got cancer and everyone I knew was over the top supportive for the first six months and then all but three of my friends just vanished. I saw one of them at a Halloween party while I was going through chemo and she told me that my bald head made people uncomfortable. I was dressed as Captain Picard, it was awesome and she ruined it."
– CatGoNoTail
Not Missing High School
"At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch."
"She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b*tch."
"Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee."
– Symnestra
These examples actually served as a good reminder for me to take a moment and assess my friendships.
Not so much about how I've been treated but more about checking myself to see if I'm respecting the people I call my friends.
We've all been guilty of casually mentioning future plans to get together. I embarrassingly wait for people to initiate something, which is terrible.
Show up for your friends. Make them feel important like the individuals they are.
There are few moments in life more momentous than buying your first home.
Of course, as is the case with any big decision, after going through with it, your mind begins to spiral down into a series of doubts.
Most of the time, once you've moved in and lived there for a while, all these doubts begin to slowly disappear.
In some cases, though, those doubts quickly turn into regrets.
Particularly when you notice more and more elements of what you thought was your "dream" home that is more reminiscent of a nightmare.
Redditor californiabred was curious to hear the biggest regrets from people who recently purchased a home, leading them to ask:
"Homeowners who bought recently, what’s your biggest regret?"
Not The What, But The When
"Not buying 4 years ago."- 3rdPartyArbitor
Location, Location, Location!
"The situation when you bought a house where it was possible and a month later they sell a house in the area where you wanted"- BenefitOk3952
"Not knowing enough about the area/town."
"I hate where we live."
"Hoping we can move by the time my oldest starts kindergarten."- MP1087
jason patric fox GIF by Wayward PinesGiphyUpon Closer Inspection...
"The inspector told us the main drain in the basement was clogged."
"We thought it was clogged with something normal."
"It was, in fact, 'clogged' with cement from when our basement floor was redone."
"So now our basement regularly gets standing water on one side."- doctorpotterhead
"Hiring the wrong home inspector they missed so much, I really have to wonder if all those reviews were bought and paid for."- CaptainQuoth
Landscaping Decisions
"Not planting the fruit trees sooner."
"It’s a long wait."- SageLeaf1
Plant Hope GIF by The Seed of Life FoundationGiphyHow Long Have You Got...
"Be shameless enough to perform your own base level of inspection of a house so you don’t have to rely on what an inspector finds or get in a situation where you have to make an offer regardless of what the inspection finds."
"Turn all the faucets on and run the dishwasher."
"Start the washer machine for a second."
"Figure out if there is any water pressure issue."
"Bring a multi line laser and a tape measure."
"Check for any significant changes in slope on the foundation for some settling issues."
"Pay attention to the downspouts."
"Do they terminate right at the house or do they have longer pipes that lead the water away?"
"Pay attention to the flooring and create a rough estimate of what it will cost to immediately replace the flooring."
"Way easier to do when you don’t have a house full of furniture and can do it right before you move in."
"On the financial side you need to talk with multiple lenders at all times and make sure they continue to give you the most up to date closing costs."
"There were a lot of sneaky numbers that made there way in that I was unaware of as a first time home buyer."
"Until that mortgage lender gives you the locked in rate don’t trust them as to what number they are currently telling you."
"Discover your maximum mortgage rate + escrow and work backwards as to the maximum house you can afford."
"Don’t buy based on the pipe dream of refinancing."- from_the_Luft
GIF by BlindspotGiphyProcrastination...
"Not recent, but I still regret not refinishing the floors before I moved in."
"I'll never do it now."- WinterFilmAwards
"I regret not having the inside painted and the carpet replaced before we moved in."
"Been here two years and it never felt like 'my home' until I got rid of the stains of those who came before."- DaisyRage7
Consider A Test Drive...
"Not particularly recent, but we did not pull out cars in the driveway or attempt to park them."
"So we didn't realize that my car could only enter the driveway from one direction, so I had to turn around half a block up every time I needed to park."
"And we just BARELY got two cars in the driveway."
"So my regret is that I took for granted that the driveway met our needs."- gtizzz
homer simpson episode 24 GIFGiphyAlways Read The Fine Print
"I bought a few years ago."
"So many things have gone sideways."
"One thing I regret is not being educated about permits."
"Contractors/handymen/ anyone who works on your house really, never mentions a permit may be needed."
"Learned that it’s up to me and me alone to do the research and phone calls."
"Currently have a job on hold because they needed a permit."
"The company blamed me and now I’m not sure they’re even going to do the work."
"Watch the movie 'The Money Pit'."
"It’s not that far off."
"Some days I wish I’d just be a renter."- MissPeppingtosh
Simply Not Worth The Effort
"Don't bother childproofing your home."
"They still get in."- Blueblackzinc
season 9 friends GIFGiphyIt's easy to question whether or not buying a home was the right decision.
But rather than live a life full of regret, why not make the most out of what you have, and turn your not-quite-dream home into a temporary dream home?
Who knows, it might even increase the resale value.
