People Share Their Most Embarrassing And Worst Dating Nightmare Stories[rebelmouse-image 18356640 is_animated_gif=
Dating is rough, there's no other way to say it. We don't know a single person who has dated that hasn't had at least one "wtf is happening in my life?" kind of date. One Reddit user asked:
The responses had us laughing til we cried, crying til we laughed and cringing like you wouldn't believe... so clearly we need to take you on this emotional roller coaster with us. Here are our 20 favorite replies.
1. Go-Karts With Friends[rebelmouse-image 18356643 is_animated_gif=
I asked a girl on a date. She said sure. We agreed on the details, I'll pick her up at 4pm, then we can do go karts at the local speed way. Unbeknownst to me, she invited 2 of her friends. Since I was a spineless 19 year old at the time, I couldn't assert myself to tell her friend not to smoke in my car, and also that I don't want to pay for their go-karting. Ended up paying around $300 for all 4 of us to go race, but my "date" had to stop at the 3rd lap because she crashed with some stranger.
2. "Drying Up"[rebelmouse-image 18356644 is_animated_gif=
When I was 29, a guy told me (15 mins into a first date and with complete sincerity) that I'd better start having kids soon because I was "drying up."
3. Half Drunk In A Torn Dress[rebelmouse-image 18356645 is_animated_gif=
So I met this girl on tinder. She seemed nice enough at the time and I was sorta new to this whole tinder thing so I must admit the red flags slipped right past me.
She rocked up half drunk in a torn dress. Now I'm not one to judge people's lifestyles and I was starving so for some reason I decided to press on with the date.
I spent the next three hours listening to her moan about her current boyfriend and how he was such a controlling guy because he wouldn't let her go out on one on one "catch ups" with guys at bars.
When I finally came to my senses and told her that I didn't particularly want to be on a date with a girl who was seeing someone, she threw her drink at me and accuses me of assaulting her. Thankfully, the bartender had been watching the entire series of events and took my side on it.
She got thrown out and I didn't go on a tinder date for the next few months
4. Scared Of The Dark[rebelmouse-image 18356646 is_animated_gif=
I took a girl hiking. We got there a little before midday, but we paced slow because of the trail and stopped to eat a lot. To cut to the point, we took longer than expected. She was apparently afraid of the dark, running around and telling me that we were going to die. Not the best experience. I basically had to push her along the trail, taking about an hour or two before we finally got back to my car, where she promptly thanked me for "such a good time." Yeah.
5. "He took one look at me..."[rebelmouse-image 18356502 is_animated_gif=
Not sure this counts since the date didn't actually happen but I was setup on a blind date. We planned to meet at a restaurant.
I got there first and since it was a nice day out I sat down on a bench outside the restaurant. He ended up calling me on his way over and I told him where I was sitting. He was still on the phone when he started walking up to the building. He took one look at me, hung up the phone and walked back to his car.
I tried to call him back thinking something must have happened and he didn't answer. No more answers to calls or texts afterward.
6. PLOT TWIST: They're still together and he's about to propose![rebelmouse-image 18356648 is_animated_gif=
I met a girl.
A total 10 to me in every way. Great potential from the get go.... I wanted to have an amazing first date because I've always tried to make them memorable (after all they'll be talked about forever if you end up together).
I wanted to keep it simple, nothing tooo crazy, but she liked coffee.
So my plan was basically to take her downtown and we would walk in the beautiful snowfall from coffee shop to coffee shop trying them all until we agreed on the best one!
So I go to pick her up. I arrive at her apartment, and i pull up to the front door. She's not there.
I message her and she says she doesn't see my car. We have a back and forth before I zoom out on my map and realize there is an identical apartment across the street, mirror image. So her screenshot she had sent me looked the same but was backwards.
She hops in and we start to chat, and I feel my pocket for my wallet and realize it's not on my person.
[X] Forgot wallet
Drive 20 minutes home and search. Not there.
[X] Lost Wallet
Drive to parents house (10 min) because I might have left it there, my parents get to meet a girl I haven't even taken on a first date left. No wallet.
[X] Awkward Parental Encounter
Realize I might have left it at the house I was building (I work construction). Drive 10 min. It's there! And I get to impress her with my craftsmanship on the house. Finally a plus!
[X] Over An Hour Late For Date
Head downtown. All the coffee shops are now closed.
[X] Plan Blown.
Time to improvise, I'll take her to a bar/burger joint downtown. Get in there, we had both eaten dinner, neither are hungry... we order a side of fries.
[X] Awkwardly Small Meal.
She's a month away from 21. We just have waters.
[X] Awkward Drink Situation
Meal cost $4.
[X] I Feel Cheap
I take her to the fanciest ice cream place in town to make up for all of this. It too is closed.
Decide fuck it. We need ice cream so we walk into the grocery store to get some. She runs into her roommate who wonders how the date is going. I walk off to get supplies and this girl explains how bad it is so far. I get ice cream!!
[X] Weird Roommate Encounter.
Need plastic spoons, I can't fuck that up right?
grabs box of plastic forks
So we drive out, park in a parking lot and eat this ice cream with forks because the whole date has gone to shit. We chat and chat and forget about the ice cream.....
....until I lift up the box and it's melted all over the console of the vehicle.
[X] Melted Ice Cream All Over The Car.
So we clean it up; finish chatting and I drop her off. No second date surely.
[X] Nightmare Over.
Until she texts me "that was the worst first date I've ever been on..."
"....but I loved every second of it. When can we hang out again?"
I was over the moon!
And then my car ran out of gas a block from her place so she picked me up, drove me to a gas station, I bought and filled up a gas can and then returned home.
[X] One Last F-Up
7. Getting Kicked Out[rebelmouse-image 18347524 is_animated_gif=
Chick asked me to go to the movies.
Right before I leave my house she tells me that three of her friends were also coming.
I get there and she tells me to just sneak into the theatre that they snuck into.
We all get kicked out.
9. Puke[rebelmouse-image 18356649 is_animated_gif=
I threw up on to their shoes and then continued to drink more.
10. He Wasn't Ready[rebelmouse-image 18356651 is_animated_gif=
It was less of a date and more of a hook up. Very handsome dude. I made my intentions clear and asked him what he was interested in. "Firefighting, f_*_ing, and fighting." Yeah, tough guy, let's meet for drinks and go back to your place! Have drinks, going well. Go back to his place and have more drinks, still going well. Start getting down to business and, when we're both nearly completely undressed, he pulls away. Quickly dress and run out the door with a pat on his head while he cries about his ex-girlfriend. He was not ready for a hook up.
11. She's A Biter[rebelmouse-image 18356652 is_animated_gif=
Getting bit by her on my arm so hard, that it left mild teeth marks and a massive bruise, even through my thick pleather jacket.
12. The Morning-After Texts[rebelmouse-image 18352554 is_animated_gif=
First date with a girl I met on Tinder. Great chemistry, great time, although she is checking the time frequently throughout the date I don't think much of it as it goes for 5 hours, night even ends with some making out and petting. Next morning I wake up to a flurry of text messages... turns out she had a boyfriend she was having troubles with and before she our date she dropped off her dog so he could babysit it. There they had sex right before our date and apparently she swallowed and didn't brush her teeth before leaving. And then I kissed her a few hours later.
13. The Date Cost An Entire Car[rebelmouse-image 18356653 is_animated_gif=
i took this artsy fartsy girl to a theatre for a play. cool whatever. afterwards we're walking back to my car and everything is going normal. small talk. she suddenly breaks down into tears and cries about missing her ex. guess we're not getting chinese food anymore. take her home. she lives in boonie-ville. foggy as hell at night. drop her home. never taking her on a date again. head back home. phone loses signal because boonie-ville. run a red light because thick fog and gps going apeshit. hit another car. total the car.
0/10 would not go out again with an artsy girl who was secretly still stuck on her ex at the cost of an entire car.
14. Recovering Ass-coholic[rebelmouse-image 18356654 is_animated_gif=
A guy I met online.. can't remember which site, but he scheduled the date at a bar - not even a restaurant, a BAR. A bar that didn't even serve food. He was apparently a recovering alcoholic so he only ordered Cranberry juice but he failed to tell me that until after I had already ordered a glass of wine.
Why on EARTH would you invite someone to a BAR if you're an addict? The entire thing was so bizarre to me and on top of it he turned out to be a complete ass.
He ended up leaving and wanted to walk me back to the metro and I basically said "no thanks I'll stay here for a bit." He was shocked/offended.. don't know.. but finally left. When he left the bartender immediately came over and was like "holy shit that guy was a DOUCHE!" took care of my tab and gave me another on the house. So there was at least a silver lining.
15. Neckbeard[rebelmouse-image 18356656 is_animated_gif=
So, I've read a lot about neck beards on here. I've never seen an actual neck beard in person, however. Then I went on a Bumble date with this physical therapist.
The beard growing out of his neck, alone, killed any desire that I had. I get it now, everyone.
16. Bathroom Zoom[rebelmouse-image 18356657 is_animated_gif=
The girl claimed that she was going to pay her half. When the check comes she asks to use the bathroom. 10 (awkward) minutes go by and right when I'm about to text her she zooms out of the restaurant leaving me with the check.
17. Table For Two ... Plus Thirty More[rebelmouse-image 18356267 is_animated_gif=
I asked a girl in my APUSH class out on a date a few years ago, we had all the details set in stone, and I showed up to find out she invited the 30 other people from the class. I had to sit through an hour and a half of the "class lunch" which she gave me credit for organizing and pretend that I didn't think it was gonna be a date the whole time. Ouch.
18. Don't Drink? Don't Pub![rebelmouse-image 18356658 is_animated_gif=
With some girl I was talking to online who agreed to meet in a pub but then only ordered lemonade after lemonade whilst me (as the heavy drinker that I am) was just downing pint after pint amidst her cringe worthy attempts at starting conversation that went absolutely nowhere.
Clearly neither of us were comfortable but there didn't seem to be a socially acceptable way of ending it so when we walked around an art gallery in Camden that had a bar and I disappeared off to get a drink and she didn't bother trying to find me afterwards that ended it good enough and it strangely turned into a pretty awesome night drinking with random people.
tl;dr: If you aren't a drinker don't agree to meet someone in a pub. It is only going to end badly.
19. Ignoring Your Date Is A Bad Idea[rebelmouse-image 18356660 is_animated_gif=
Girl and I went out for our... second? or maybe third? date. We were going to see a movie with a bunch of her friends, and then hang out after at a Dairy Queen or something. Cool. Well, she was only interested in me until her friends showed up... spent the time waiting for them just bitching about her coworkers, then when they showed up basically ignored me the rest of the evening. I introduced myself and chatted with a couple of her friends while she sat with the rest at the next table over.
Apparently she thought the date went really well, she leaned in for a kiss when I was saying goodbye and I wasn't feeling it at all so I went for the awkward hug instead. Later told her I wasn't feeling any chemistry between us and she seemed a bit confused why...
20. Never Been Dated[rebelmouse-image 18356661 is_animated_gif=
My worst experience is that I've never been on a date
People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.
And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.
But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.
And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.
Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:
"What is your best swear word alternative?"
"Oh neptune."- StrappinYoungZiltoid
The last thing you want to find in your bed!
Instead of rude, be educational!
"I said this instead of… other words once when I tripped and accidentally taught this to my nephew."
"Now my sister sends me videos of my nephew saying it when things don’t go his way."- YellowForest4Warning GIFGiphy
Think of the children!
"Not sure of an actual word, but my bf and I have been trying to limit cursing since my toddler is becoming very verbal."
"He’s resorted to making very angry yelling caveman sounds when he wants to curse someone out rather than using the actual words."- Present-Lime-1244
"I like, 'slug in a ditch'."- spiked_macaroonslug GIFGiphy
We can always learn a thing or two from the kids...
"A child in my class tries to swear but unintentionally says foot instead of f*ck."
"It's probably my favorite alternative."
"Wow, didn't expect this to get so much attention."
"Thank you for the award! "
"For those asking, he is a very tiny child with a deep yorkshire accent who actually picked up the word from another child but hasn't noticed he doesn't have the pronunciation quite right yet."
"Context wise though he's bang on which makes it even funnier."- sophishx
Just one word won't do!
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, LARRY?!"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!"- KevinBillyStinkwater
Be mindful, it could backfire
"When my son was little he started saying bastard so I kept saying custard."
"Until the day he complained that we were having bananas and bastard again."- CheeryShortarseDoctor Who Snack GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
Mother knows best.
"My mother always said, 'Curses!'"
"We, the kids, laugh about it all the time."- tenzip10-0
If you feel like you've sufficiently got your anger or frustration out of your system, your choice of words served their purpose.
Whether or not they would have to be bleeped out on network TV.
When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry."
"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.
Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.
Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:
"What's the most bada** villain quote?"
Benedict from Last Action Hero
"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"
"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Marktlast action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
"Pirates are evil?"
"The Marines are righteous?"
"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"
"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"
"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"
"This very place is neutral ground!"
"Justice will prevail, you say?"
"But of course it will!"
"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie
The Man with the Midas Touch...
"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'
"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_StudlyInterrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
The Last Airbender's Azula
"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."
"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan
Inigo Montoya, watch out!
"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"
"-the six fingered man."
Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul
“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."
"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94
The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners
"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."
"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680
Whiterose of Mr. Robot
“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64
The final frontier indeed...
"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."
"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."
"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingersDeep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy
A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.
But it's with their words that they really get you.
And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.
Why can't people ask before they send graphic images?
And for the people who just send them willy-nilly...
Keep it decent, kids.
Redditor OhmMeGag wanted to hear about everyone's reactions to these types of photos. They asked:
"What's the best response to an unwanted d**k pic?"
Why are y'all STILL sending d**k pics in 2022? Like... decent.
Back at You...
"I read, I believe it was here on Reddit. This girl got an unsolicited d**k pic. So for her revenge, she sent penis pics back constantly. Big, small, anything she could find. This guy was telling her to stop, lol. She asked if he liked it."
“'Why does it look like that?' And answer none of their following texts."
"If you feel the need to respond, 'I'll ask my aunt, she's a nurse.'"
Are you Ok?
"When I was a teenager I had just gotten my first boyfriend, and back then nobody sent photos over text because camera phones weren't a common thing yet. Also texting cost a few cents per text. God, I feel old typing that out.
"I had never seen one before, so I panicked and said, 'Oh my god are you okay??' and he just like... got really sad because he thought I thought there was something wrong with the way it looked."
Send it Back
"What I used to do was take their profile picture and photoshop their face onto the head of their d**k and send it back. I never got a second d**k pic doing that lol."
"What she should do instead is make a public directory of unsolicited d**k pic offenders. Get the victim to edit their head on top, and then post it there with their number. Girls can then search their number to see if they've been a repeat offender in the past. Call the website the D**k Head."
SorryText Lol GIF by VTM.beGiphy
"'Oh hey, my ex had that disease too'"
I am loving the revenge response.
YuckAngry Oh No GIF by CBCGiphy
"Google 'genital warts' and send them back any of those images that come up."
"When I was a freshman in college I was home for Christmas break and the guy across the street, who was 4 years older than me and had recently moved back home, sent me one with the message that his family would be out of the house for a few hours if I wanted to come over."
"I knew him, we had lived on the same street for years, but it was completely out of the blue. I'm not even sure how he got my number. I had babysat his younger brother a few times however, which is why I had his mother's number. I took a screen shot of the message & pic and forwarded it to his mom, asking if she could please get Eric to stop sending me nudes."
"Why are you sending me a picture of your thumb?"
"So an old friend took a picture of his nuts**k and sent it to my husband as a joke. My husband genuinely responded 'Why did you send me a close up picture of your couch?' They had an old gray leather couch that had wrinkled over time."
"I know this sounds crazy, but I am a doctor and this might be cancer."
"Because I know they know I’m not a doctor- I say 'that spot looked weird so I sent it to my dad (he’s a doctor) and he said you should definitely go get check out' then don’t respond to any other messages."
"Note- my dad is in fact, not a doctor, and of course don’t forward my father d**k picks. But I very much enjoy the panic from an a** that 1) I sent his penis pic to my dad and 2) that there’s something wrong with his junk."
"Share a penis enlargement ad."
Stop sending these types of pics unsolicited. It's gross. The end.
People say the darndest and nastiest things pretty often.
I feel like I would prefer someone who doesn't realize it because the alternative is evil.
Saying inappropriate things on purpose involves malicious intent.
No matter... wrong is wrong.
Watch your mouth.
Redditor Ok_Context_7495 wanted to know what sort of nonsense has fallen out of other people's mouths, that left us shook. They asked:
"What’s the most messed up/inappropriate thing that someone’s casually said to you?"
I have been left, fainted on the floor with some of the things I've head people say. It can be funny, but still cruel.
OuchShannyn Sossamon Cringe GIFGiphy
"Your brother is only nice to you because he's not threatened by you or your partner. If you were successful and she were pretty, he wouldn't be nice to either of you. - Mom"
"My mom died of cancer when I was 2. When I was roughly 6, my older siblings told me that my mom and I were playing in the front yard and I kicked a ball into the road and when she went to get it she got hit by a garbage truck and that’s how she died. I didn’t find out the truth til a few years later. Odd that I have 0 relationship with my family now."
"I had a miscarriage where the baby was 'absorbed' and all that was left in the uterus was the gestational sac. I got pregnant again and when I told my neighbor she said, 'So are you actually pregnant this time?' Yes, a**hole. I am pregnant this time and I was actually pregnant last time. Unfortunately I just said yes and went in the house."
"It hurt a lot when my mom would get drunk and cry to me that she wishes I had passed away instead of my father. It hurt a lot more when she said it offhandedly and sober though. I'm okay now, but I was only seven. I didn't deserve that crap."
"You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry you had to live through this. Parents are supported to protect you, but they can also hurt you the most. Wish you all the best!"
Lucky YouHow-To Beauty GIF by SephoraGiphy
“'People don’t take me seriously because I’m pretty. You’re so lucky not to have that problem.'"
Some people need a punch in the face.
Deep HateWizard Of Oz Comedy GIFGiphy
"My ex-wife, 'Everyone hates you, they can't stand being around you.' Never could figure out why she said that. 30 years later, I'm still friends with the people that supposedly hated me."
"You look like a fat leek"
"My nan's sister, at our first meeting, said to 14 year old me: 'You look like a fat leek' (but in Dutch). I was flabbergasted. Fun fact. When she died a couple of years ago, during the funeral, her daughter gave a speech and told a LOT of secrets about how her mum was a total b**ch and narcissist , abused her and made her life a living hell. The whole church was in shock and they sort of canceled the funeral due to all the consternation."
See the Art
“'I can’t wait for you to be blind, your art gets better and better.'”
"I am SEVERELY visually impaired, losing my vision to a degenerative disease. I am an artist. I paint and create work with themes sometimes relevant to my vision loss. Someone I knew said this to me, in front of a group of people at dinner 2 years ago. I was 32 at the time."
I think I was 11?
"I had a dentist say that I 'needed to work on that for when I had a boyfriend' when I was gagging during whatever the hell he was doing. I think I was 11? I did not understand it at all until I was much older and saw like the second episode of Glee where a gag reflex comment is made, I asked my mum about it and she explained and I was like 'ohhh... Ohhh is that why (dentist) said this?' She was not thrilled that I'd waited so long to tell her."
"Middle of a grocery store. I’m 18 or 19. A man 50+ years old walks up to me, puts his arm around my shoulders, stares down at my breasts, and says, 'Damn, girl, can you see your feet?'"
Some people really need an electric shock collar as a sensor.