Strangers online came through with the fantasy scenario when Redditor Ithaqua3406 asked:
"If you suddenly had 'f'k you' money what would be the first thing you did?"
Some Redditors felt philanthropic.
Family First
"Retire my immediate family."
– Ziggu12
"I'd pay off my parents' house and other debts and then send my brother a check for $0.81."
– She_Persists
This One's For You, Pops
"I'd retire my dad (46M) immediately. After my mom left when I was 13 (25M now) he stepped up to be in the role of both parents to us 3 kids and we struggle bussed pretty hard for a few years until i was able to start working to help out even though he said i never had to. I haven't seen my mom since I was 17. Both my younger sisters and I are eternally grateful for this man. He taught me everything I needed to know to grow up and be the man I'm now today. So, I'd return that favor. I'd buy him a house with a big a** garage and work space so he could work on his classic cars and trucks all he wants. I'm in that mindset now, I'm working to not only have a successful life right now but to take care of my own family and him."
–Slwrolla
Let the indulging begin.
Simplified Order
"I'd order Dominos without optimising the order to fit one of the deals."
– Si1Fei1
"Changing it to pan? Dollar fifty more. Bastards."
– DrGPeds
Unobstructed View
"I'd buy the first 3 rows of a Ja Rule concert to keep them empty."
– Usr_115
"50 cent is that you lol."
– eks91
Tough Lesson
"I'd get dental implants so I wasn't in constant pain/ didn't look like I started every day with a hearty breakfast of crack."
"Edit: The feel compelled to say that I've never smoked crack or meth in my life. I did all my damage with cigarettes, sugar, and good old fashioned neglect. I didn't brush my teeth nearly enough, often going days or weeks between brushing. Yes, depression. I didn't feel like there was a point, and now I'm at a what I consider to be a catastrophic level of damage. I haven't actually felt any tooth pain in a very long time unless you count poking my tongue or cheek with a jagged bit once in a while. I had two initial quotes from dentists, one for $15,000 and another for $17,000. Both came with the caveat that they'd likely cost more because of an unknown number of extractions that'd require surgical removal. Dental tourism isn't really an option, I'd be looking at multiple procedures requiring recovery and return trips that I'd rather not make internationally, alone, and require being put under for surgery, I'd rather not go that route. I live paycheck to paycheck, and not well. I bring home about $2800 a month and finances not covered by my medical insurance (and even those tbh...) in the scales of thousands of dollars are a fanciful dream not even worth thinking about for me. Yes. America."
"If you read nothing else in the post:"
"Brush your f'king teeth."
– uglymiddleagedloser
A Tasty Luxury
"Get a permanent personal chef, so that I can eat delicious food all the time, and in a relatively healthy way."
– Alkazeel
"This here is overlooked. Having some great chef that would also double as grocery shopper doing great food 3 or 4 days a week? Under 10 grand a month."
– PhillieUbr
Who would need a job?
Not these Redditors.
Peace Out
"Quit my job. I'm at the point I may do it anyway honestly."
– e22ddie46
“'What’s the point in having f'k you money if you can’t say f'k you.' Bobby Axelrod"
– smitcal
Off The Grid
"Disappear."
– YoungHermit92
"pay for a helicopter to come pick you up from work, 2 guys in suits come out, ask you to come back 'for one last job', you say you were retired, and ask why can't John handle it, the suits just shake their heads and say 'it's worse than last time, and they already have John.'"
"you look back, wave your coworkers goodbye, and get on the chopper, never to be seen again."
– Dravarden
See Ya Later Alligator
"Quit my job. It's not that it's a bad job, I actually do like it, but I don't have time for it! I would rather live my life and go on adventures. So many things to see and experience in this world and life. :)"
– chocolate_orca
Alternative To Quitting
"Never quit. Purchase the company while still working in the trenches without revealing that you're the new CEO. Begin making all the decisions you can see should happen because you're there. Fire bad bosses and managers, get yourself 'voluntold' to go to other stores/offices for various excuses, listen to the fellow employees b*tch about corporate and quietly fix the problems they bring up."
– Bridgebrain
Worthy Replacement
"I’d buy the company I work for burn it down and collect the insurance money and build a public restroom in its place."
– Doublecutz
If I had money burning a hole in my pocket, I'd rent out Disneyland for the night so my LGBTQ+ friends and I can have the happiest place on earth to ourselves in a safe space without the judgment of conservative guests.
Oh, wait, I already experienced that when Disney hosted their official Pride Nite last month!
Then I'll pay for another night of that, please, but this time at Walt Disney World in Orlando because they didn't host such an event there for a certain reason.
There'll be lots of rainbow balloons, confetti, and queerness all over the entire resort to make our presence known in the Sunshine State.
Methinks that's the ideal "f'k you money" scenario.
"What was a brilliant idea but poorly executed?"
$10 A Month For $4 Thousand Worth Of Movie Tickets... How Could It Go Wrong?
"Moviepass, i.e. a monthly subscription service to see as many movies as you want for a flat fee."
"The core concept is actually solid."
"The big risk with unlimited subscriptions is induced demand, where people consume more of your product because their unit price drops."
"Movie theaters are mostly fixed costs, however, they don't really care about induced demand outside of opening weekend for big blockbusters (which you can make special rules about)."
"As long as a movie isn't sold out, you'd basically take any amount of money for the empty seats."
"Even if someone sees ten movies in a month, you're still probably making money even if you only charged them two movie's worth, and that's before potential concession sales."
"That said, the theaters have to be on board, and Moviepass launched without first getting them to agree to such a system."
"Instead, Moviepass had to pay full price to the theaters for every single movie seen."
"Their prices were not fixed, and as a result the induced demand absolutely crushed them."- Notmiefault
Microsoft Clearly Didn't Read The Book Of Genesis...
"Microsoft Zune."- TheDadaMax
"Great product, poorly marketed."
"But it was (imo) vastly superior to the iPod."- EnigmaCA
technology rip GIF by gifnewsGiphySo, So, Sad...
"Recycling."
"I wish it was great everywhere."- Glitchykins8
Biking Without The Peddling
"The Segway."
"It was hailed as what the car was to the horse and buggy."
"Built by a famous inventor it never took off."
"One of the most hyped inventions of all time."- Swimming_Stop5723
Way Too Soon... (On So Many Levels)
"Selling tickets to dive in a sub to see the Titanic."- nullrecord
Titan Submarine GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyNot The Right Prescription
"Google Glass."
"I remember when people were talking about how it was gonna be the next 'big thing' and it failed."- LouisTheFox
When You Can't Help But Miss Used Car Salesmen...
"Carvana."
"Loved the idea of putting more control of the car-buying experience back in the hands of the buyer but myself and my wife both had a harrowing experience buying through them and their 'hassle-free' return process was absolutely riddled with hassles."- Grand-wazoo
train help GIFIt Literally Had People Seeing Red...
"Nintendo's Virtual Boy."- TailsxCream4Eva
"Nintendo's Power Glove."- mezz7778
"RoB the Robot."- DiscussionLoose8390
One Of Many Failed Ideas In US Education
"I think No Child Left Behind was a good concept."
"But basing school funding on standardized tests just crushed anything good out of it— the rich schools with funding for equipment and higher-end teachers got more money, and the schools that needed financial help got probation and threats of funding withdrawal."
"As a former teacher, I loved the idea that a kid could move to another school mid-semester and be learning the same concept in each subject as the school they left, but instead any kid who wasn’t immediately grasping concepts was forced to fail upwards."
"Failing upwards hurts all of us."- bp_516
Ha!
"Fyre Festival."- Old_Army90
"I’ve always thought that it could have worked if it had been planned years in advance."
"I have to admit, the idea of a music festival on a Caribbean island still intrigues me."
"The problem is that the island location alone presents major logistical hurdles."
"By definition, everything on an island is harder to acquire, from food to land."
"Add to that the issues of promised catered meals and guaranteed luxury lodging and you have serious mountains to climb to pull off the festival."
"With enough lead time to construct the bungalows and hire enough food services to prepare the meals, it is feasible, but trying to pull it off in a few months time made it impossible."
"Sure, Woodstock ‘69 was planned in less than a year, but festival attendees weren’t promised lodging and food."
"They knew they’d be camping and would have to get their own provisions."
"Even then, there were logistical hurdles, such as the New York State Thruway succumbing to complete gridlock."
"Still, as far as festivals go, it was a relatively simple set-up."
"A better approach would have been for Fyre, the music booking app company behind the festival, to start small, such as on a beach somewhere with no inclusion of lodging or catering in the ticket packages."
"Concertgoers would know what to expect, and the festival would have been a lot more successful."
"If Fyre had done that for a few years, they would have built trust in their name brand, so when the time came for an actual festival on an island, Fyre Festival could have booked enough contractors to build lodging and hired enough vendors to make food for the whole weekend."
"Unfortunately, Billy McFarland’s hubris was enough that he wanted to skip ahead of the build up and go straight for the opulent."- Brunt-FCA-285
ja rule fyre festival GIFGiphyMore Like Great Leap Backwards...
"China's Great Leap Forward."
"The idea was to improve the country, but it ended with one of the worst man-made natural disasters in history."- Kartoffelkamm
While a good idea always requires imagination, we must also remember it's very easy for our imaginations to get the better of us.
Reality often has a way of bringing us back down to Earth and making us realize what looks good on paper doesn't always deliver.
(But seriously... who actually thought the Fyre Festival was going to work?)
Redditor FIeshEatingPineappIe wanted to hear about what everyone has found appetizing when eating on a budget, so they asked:
"What cheap meals helped you save money through tough times?"
Bonkers
Hungry Food GIF by TescoGiphy"I managed to grow a pile of tomatoes last season (I only had 2 plants but they went bonkers) so cooked the majority of them up into spaghetti sauce and froze it. I'm still eating through it."
WaluigisFacialHair
Basics
"Ramen. PB&J sandwiches. Spam rice and eggs. Stewed/roasted chicken leg quarters with root vegetables. Learning how to bake sucked at first but it's really cost-effective money-wise cooking from scratch. Lately, I've been roasting/braising a full pork shoulder (I stock up when it's on sale)."
"Shred and freeze what I can't eat quickly. works really well with rice and beans (roll it up in a tortilla you got yourself a burrito. Put in ramen with an egg. Or with some stir-fried veggies with soy sauce and rice. Or as a gravy with pasta. It's really versatile."
aznkidjoey
Write this Down
"Lentil soup. A bag of dried lentils costs like a buck at a cheap grocery store and will cook you like three very filling meals worth of lentil soup. Unlike most dried legumes, they cook for 30-40 minutes of boiling. And pretty much any savory vegetable or cheese will go well with it."
"There are many ways to spice it. My favorite simple, ultra-cheap way is like 1 cup of dried lentils boiled until cooked and water is sufficiently absorbed, 1 tsp each curry, garlic, and onion powder, a finely cut carrot, a tsp of vinegar or a dash of lemon, and a Tbsp of parmesan cheese. That's like a 50-cent meal that's very high in protein, fiber, and vitamins."
"The carbs are also slow burning, low glycemic-load, complex carbs. If you wanna get fancier use fresh garlic and onion and add some herbs and feta cheese. The hot sauce works amazing with it too. Never hurts to add a can of diced tomatoes either. If you do that though you don't really need the vinegar/lemon."
Yak-F**ker-5000
Under $10
"Spaghetti. My mother would be able to feed all of us for under $10. Pasta, cheaper grade prepackaged beef and a jar of sauce. On really tight days, she’d just cook straight pasta and mix in some garlic and that powdered Parmesan cheese."
"So when I grew up and was trying to save money, I did the same. Pasta sauce freezes very well. I would make a huge pot of sauce and freeze it in bags and then I’d just have to cook single portions of pasta which cost next to nothing."
I_like_Birds56
All. The. Time
rabbit eating GIFGiphy"Oatmeal all day every day."
Klappersten
"I recently discovered savory oats and it was life-changing. I'm not a fan of sweet breakfasts but wanted to eat more oats. It's comfort food for me now."
BeagleGal39
Oatmeal is not just cheap but nutritious.
And it's surprisingly filling.
And a bit of Grog
middle ages fun GIF by Kajetan ObarskiGiphy"Bread, apples, and cheese. You feel like you're in a medieval movie or something and you can supplement with a bowl of hearty soup or stew."
Early_Yesterday_6819
Stretch it Out
"Rice with seared cabbage and a fried egg. I slice it pretty thin and throw it in a ripping hot pan with a touch of oil. It should get slightly charred but still be crunchy."
DruidicBoogaloo
"Love seared cabbage. A sprinkle of sugar improves the flavor and takes away some of the cabbagey smell. Whatever you're eating, I promise seared cabbage tastes good either in it or beside it. Great way to stretch a meal."
notreallylucy
"Half an onion and a slice of chopped bacon with half or a quarter head of cabbage all fried up in a wok or a CI pan is an amazing meal or side and cost practically pennies."
edthach
All for a Dollar
"In college, I ate peanut butter on toast for breakfast and .99$ bean burrito from a taco stand next door to my apartment for dinner."
Scuta44
"I used to get those El Monterey burritos in college. I still vividly remember the day they went from a 10-pack for $2.50 to an 8-pack for $3.50. I was literally starving at the time and it made my f**king heart sink. Those same packs of burritos are almost $6 now and the burritos are markedly smaller."
Spez_Guzzles_
All Day, Everyday
"Pancakes. Veeeery cheap and soul food on top of that, which should not be neglected when going through hard times. Just some ground Hazelnuts and sugar as filling, delicious. Noodles with vegetables. Fry the vegetables in a pan, season them, and mix it with noodles. Simple, healthy, and also very cheap."
DukeManbert
"Pancakes for dinner was our go-to when stretching another day to payday. Also, chips and salsa. We used to keep a pound of ground beef in the freezer for end-of-the-month nachos. Fried spaghetti noodles can be a quick meal too. Pre-cooked noodles fried in butter and lemon juice."
JohnYCanuckEsq
Portion Control
3d character GIF by FabricioLimaGiphy"Rice stretches out anything. I've made many a sad a**hole meal out of a small portion of food atop a bowl of rice."
ArghNooo
"You can actually make some really cheap meals with some veggies and rice that are delicious AF. It's a bit of an upfront cost for the right spices but it'll save you a boatload in the end."
tinyhorsesinmytea
I put rice in everything.
And it is a life saver for finances and diet.
