People Share Their Scariest Unexplainable Experience Out In The Woods
If you're like me and have seen Evil Dead thirty times, you know that the woods is dangerous territory full of spiders, bears, and demon-possessed trees. So the woods are a big ol' f*ck no for me.
Then there are some people whose lives revolve around walking through the woods, whether as a park ranger, hunter, or anything in between. But that doesn't mean they haven't seen some scary stuff too.
One Redditor asked: Rangers, forest workers, hunters, and other woods-people of Reddit, what is your scary experience in the woods that you still can't explain?
Can't help you, bud.
I've shared this story before:
We have a camp that we visit during the hunting months and about every other weekend in between that. To get to our camp, you have to turn off of a major road onto a gravel road, drive about a mile, then turn onto another gravel road for about a half mile. It's set between a few other camps, plus some residents that live out there. It's quiet, for the most part. There are some coyotes and bobcats. Bobcats are the worst due to their terrible scream. It sounds like a woman crying for help. There has also been a black panther and wild dogs.
2013 we were at the camp for Thanksgiving. We hunted, fished, cooked, drank, all that good camp stuff. On night, we're sitting around a fire, swapping funny stories and just listening to the silence of the woods. As we're talking, we all hear, "Help me!". At first, we thought it was a bobcat. We listened some more and heard it again. It was a man's voice yelling "help me!" repeatedly.
Now, our first instinct was to grab our guns. Second was to go towards the voice, BUT you never know what you will encounter in the woods. It was dark and cold. The hunters knew the area very well. We called the police, and explained everything to the responding officers.
The weird part was that we NEVER once heard it while the officers were with us. Not once. The officers left and we heard the man again, repeating "help me". About half an hour later, the officers came back and we didn't hear any call for help. Again, silence. We all decided it was best to go inside our camp for the night. We never did find out anything. I've only been back to the camp once since then. Really freaked me out.
Creepy.
GiphyKinda creepy thing happened to me when I was a student forester this summer. So, the forest I was working in was about 20 kms from the nearest town which contained around 1200 people and we usually set out for what ever task we have to do in the forest at around 7:00am.
So we are at the forest at around 7:30am and we are about 12 kms up the road when we turn a corner very slowly and see what I initially thought to be a weird looking bush or statue but it was in fact a person, sitting on a carved out stump on the side of the road, just sitting there. What really threw me off was the fact that this person had a parka on and a balaclava underneath it IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER.
We drove by this person real slow and he lifted a hand to wave slowly as we drove past and it was just super creepy. Never saw them again after that but it did make going out on excursions a little more uneasy sometimes when alone.
No tiki houses allowed!
We always built a tiki house in our woods, (just some normal kids) and had loads of fun. But every week when we came back, it was destroyed and we were sad as hell, and always built a new one.
One day we saw a guy in a black hoodie taking our sticks apart. We never came back.
Heebie jeebies is an understatement.
I've lived on the high dessert for most of my life (6000' above sea level if you're wondering). I was out riding my horse alone in the absolute middle of BFE in the Badlands (no trees, and hardly any brush to speak of so sounds carry a long way and there is nowhere to hide for long) when all of a sudden his ears perk up. I feel my skin start to crawl like we're being watched. My normally mellow gelding, starts to panic. I start to feel really dizzy, and my horse stumbles. I black out.
I come to an hour or so later about 3 Miles away from the inciting incident still on my horse. He is frothing with sweat and shaking all over. I'm still not sure what happened. I had plenty of water and snacks. It was 65ish Degrees and breezy, so I don't believe weather or dehydration/hunger were a factor. I have never before or after had a fainting spell, and that was the most reliable, quiet horse I've ever owned.
I now have a serious case of the heebie jeebies again just thinking about it.
Finding a target.
GiphyMy friends and I were high in the woods deep in the Sierra Nevadas in the California back country and decided to travel a few miles off a path to reach a river and shoot at targets with our 22. The path is littered with deer bones and claw marks from bears so we're freaking out a bit but finally make it to where we set up camp.
I notice off in the distance about a half mile upstream the river there are two men walking towards us in the exact direction we are firing our gun. I yell at the guys for them to stop shooting and we just watch these men, wide-eyed and in their late 20's and early 30's walking quickly alongside the river when suddenly they both decide to jump in.
I should say at this point that the river is moving very quickly and could easily sweep you under and is definitely not safe for a casual swim. We watch as both the men are swept away towards us downstream. One of my friends, we'll call him Mike, decides to be brave and get close to the edge and extend a piece of wood for them to grab as they're about to pass us. Both the men latch on and Mike is the hero pulling them to shore.
When everyone catches their breath we asked the men what they were doing out here as it's super remote and they were at least 3 or 4 miles from the nearest trail and why they both jumped in the deadly river they give us short answers like "Oh we were just having fun boys" and "Just free swimming the river!" while they're leering at us.
Immediately the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and every fiber in my body tells me they mean us harm. We tell them we're going to head back to the trail and they say they're coming with us. Given that we're so far off from civilization and these guys are clearly high on something and a danger to themselves we reluctantly agree to allow them to follow us.
It was the most quiet hike of my life. I felt them trying to feel out if they could take us in a fight. There were three of us and two of them and we had a 22 but were young squirrelly adults. I don't know how to explain it but the hike was us constantly positioning against each other with body language without ever directly fighting. They would get close to the gun and try to both be near it then we would counter by getting between them and the gun as naturally as possible while hiking up a path that was littered in bear claw marks and dung. We finally make it to the car and they decide we weren't suitable targets and moved on. No idea what two random guys were doing risking their life in a freezing cold raging river in the Sierra Nevadas, or why they felt the need to size up if they could attack three random teens but I'm glad nothing happened that day.
Tldr: Went hiking in the woods with friends as teens. Almost shot some random crazies. Crazies fall into river and we save them. Then crazies proceed to position themselves to fight us. Eventually get away.
Dodged a bullet.
Not anything like this myself, but a friend told me this story.
So he goes with a buddy to hike a trail near our town. Northern Washington state, so lots of woods and trees. When they get to the trailhead, there is one other car there, and he remembers seeing a person in that car. The person in the car was just staring at them, with what he described as a really white unchanging face. He kept staring right at them without trying to hide it or look away. My friend got creeped out, and decided to leave.
In the next week or two after that, a couple of hikers and a ranger turned up dead in that same area. Pretty sure they caught the guy, but I don't remember if his photo was posted.
Super creepy.
Trumpety sound.
I did a basics of survival course a while back.
While walking through forests in the middle of nowhere, I would often hear a loud trumpety sound. Kinda like a trumpet some days and a grinding sound on other days.
Not sure what it was, but it was super loud but there was nothing nearby that could make a sound like that
Those darn reinactors.
GiphyAbout 20 years ago I had just finished my degree and was bummed because I couldn't find a job. A former roommate/good friend and I went on an overnight backpack trip near Burr Oak State Park in Southeast Ohio.
About 2 am we were awoken in our tent by the sound of dozens of horses being ridden all around us. We could hear muted conversation, harness jingling, hoofs clopping and we could feel it shaking the ground. We laid in our tent and the sound just kept on, like a whole convoy was passing right beside us.
After a few minutes we unzipped the tent and the sounds immediately ceased and nothing was there. It was freaky, we were afraid they were going to ride over us it was so intense. I have no idea who or what it was but we're camped on a trail that had been used by John Morgan Hunts Confederate raiders during the Civil War. Not a logical explanation but it was deafening there were so many horses. I can still hear men's voices murmuring as they rode by. Next morning not a single hoof print to be found.
That's terrifying!
I've spent a lot of time in fairly wild places and never had an incident that I couldn't explain.
Doesn't make them much less scary, though. When you figure out it's a cougar, bear, moose, or strange human, it's not like you exhale and relax.
Scariest moment for me, to date, was the grizzly that was circling our camp in the dusk at about 20 meters. Packed my family into the car as fast as we could move but it wouldn't have been fast enough if the bear had attacked. I really regret it - I feel that I failed as a parent, because it's only luck that nothing horrible happened. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing its green eyes bobbing and swaying in my headlamp. It briefly rushed our vehicle as we left, too. Scary as f*ck.
The closest I ever came to an inexplicable moment was when I was walking though trail-less black spruce up north in the fall and suddenly hit a wall of odor the likes of which I'd never smelled before. Stopped me in my tracks. Some instinct told me that it was a bull moose, and sure enough, in about 20 more meters, there was a clearing with a massive bull. It was rutting season so I got the hell out.
UFO sighting.
We lived on the Hopi/Navajo reservation growing up. My mom and I were feeding the horses very early in the morning before I went to school- it was still almost completely dark out- when we hear this low, dim humming noise. The horses start acting really nervous, ours included. Sweating, pacing, nostrils flared, eyes showing white- the works. We feed them and walk out from the barn/shack trying to figure out what's happened. We look up after scanning the horizon for anything (squinting as best as we could) and there is a black triangle like thing hovering right over us. It was almost completely silent. It was perfectly over us so you couldn't see it unless you looked straight up and it felt like it was so close I could touch it. It was pretty damn large too- like a long triangle. Smooth and black. Thinking back, it was actually quite impressive and beautiful.
My mom grabbed me and ran back into the shed. This was before cellphones were really a thing so she just clutched me and told me not to make a sound. We waited for what felt like ages but was probably only 2-3 more minutes. The horses weren't even eating, they just paced the shed inside back and forth. Finally the horses started settling down to eat and my mom went outside. It was gone.
We felt like we had the flu the rest of the day and I stayed home. We never told my dad. I think it was some sort of military aircraft since around the reservation there are quiet, secret military set ups but who knows.
Banana_Turtle_Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences
Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!