If you're like me and have seen Evil Dead thirty times, you know that the woods is dangerous territory full of spiders, bears, and demon-possessed trees. So the woods are a big ol' f*ck no for me.
Then there are some people whose lives revolve around walking through the woods, whether as a park ranger, hunter, or anything in between. But that doesn't mean they haven't seen some scary stuff too.
One Redditor asked: Rangers, forest workers, hunters, and other woods-people of Reddit, what is your scary experience in the woods that you still can't explain?
Can't help you, bud.
I've shared this story before:
We have a camp that we visit during the hunting months and about every other weekend in between that. To get to our camp, you have to turn off of a major road onto a gravel road, drive about a mile, then turn onto another gravel road for about a half mile. It's set between a few other camps, plus some residents that live out there. It's quiet, for the most part. There are some coyotes and bobcats. Bobcats are the worst due to their terrible scream. It sounds like a woman crying for help. There has also been a black panther and wild dogs.
2013 we were at the camp for Thanksgiving. We hunted, fished, cooked, drank, all that good camp stuff. On night, we're sitting around a fire, swapping funny stories and just listening to the silence of the woods. As we're talking, we all hear, "Help me!". At first, we thought it was a bobcat. We listened some more and heard it again. It was a man's voice yelling "help me!" repeatedly.
Now, our first instinct was to grab our guns. Second was to go towards the voice, BUT you never know what you will encounter in the woods. It was dark and cold. The hunters knew the area very well. We called the police, and explained everything to the responding officers.
The weird part was that we NEVER once heard it while the officers were with us. Not once. The officers left and we heard the man again, repeating "help me". About half an hour later, the officers came back and we didn't hear any call for help. Again, silence. We all decided it was best to go inside our camp for the night. We never did find out anything. I've only been back to the camp once since then. Really freaked me out.
Kinda creepy thing happened to me when I was a student forester this summer. So, the forest I was working in was about 20 kms from the nearest town which contained around 1200 people and we usually set out for what ever task we have to do in the forest at around 7:00am.
So we are at the forest at around 7:30am and we are about 12 kms up the road when we turn a corner very slowly and see what I initially thought to be a weird looking bush or statue but it was in fact a person, sitting on a carved out stump on the side of the road, just sitting there. What really threw me off was the fact that this person had a parka on and a balaclava underneath it IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER.
We drove by this person real slow and he lifted a hand to wave slowly as we drove past and it was just super creepy. Never saw them again after that but it did make going out on excursions a little more uneasy sometimes when alone.
No tiki houses allowed!
We always built a tiki house in our woods, (just some normal kids) and had loads of fun. But every week when we came back, it was destroyed and we were sad as hell, and always built a new one.
One day we saw a guy in a black hoodie taking our sticks apart. We never came back.
Heebie jeebies is an understatement.
I've lived on the high dessert for most of my life (6000' above sea level if you're wondering). I was out riding my horse alone in the absolute middle of BFE in the Badlands (no trees, and hardly any brush to speak of so sounds carry a long way and there is nowhere to hide for long) when all of a sudden his ears perk up. I feel my skin start to crawl like we're being watched. My normally mellow gelding, starts to panic. I start to feel really dizzy, and my horse stumbles. I black out.
I come to an hour or so later about 3 Miles away from the inciting incident still on my horse. He is frothing with sweat and shaking all over. I'm still not sure what happened. I had plenty of water and snacks. It was 65ish Degrees and breezy, so I don't believe weather or dehydration/hunger were a factor. I have never before or after had a fainting spell, and that was the most reliable, quiet horse I've ever owned.
I now have a serious case of the heebie jeebies again just thinking about it.
Finding a target.Giphy
My friends and I were high in the woods deep in the Sierra Nevadas in the California back country and decided to travel a few miles off a path to reach a river and shoot at targets with our 22. The path is littered with deer bones and claw marks from bears so we're freaking out a bit but finally make it to where we set up camp.
I notice off in the distance about a half mile upstream the river there are two men walking towards us in the exact direction we are firing our gun. I yell at the guys for them to stop shooting and we just watch these men, wide-eyed and in their late 20's and early 30's walking quickly alongside the river when suddenly they both decide to jump in.
I should say at this point that the river is moving very quickly and could easily sweep you under and is definitely not safe for a casual swim. We watch as both the men are swept away towards us downstream. One of my friends, we'll call him Mike, decides to be brave and get close to the edge and extend a piece of wood for them to grab as they're about to pass us. Both the men latch on and Mike is the hero pulling them to shore.
When everyone catches their breath we asked the men what they were doing out here as it's super remote and they were at least 3 or 4 miles from the nearest trail and why they both jumped in the deadly river they give us short answers like "Oh we were just having fun boys" and "Just free swimming the river!" while they're leering at us.
Immediately the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and every fiber in my body tells me they mean us harm. We tell them we're going to head back to the trail and they say they're coming with us. Given that we're so far off from civilization and these guys are clearly high on something and a danger to themselves we reluctantly agree to allow them to follow us.
It was the most quiet hike of my life. I felt them trying to feel out if they could take us in a fight. There were three of us and two of them and we had a 22 but were young squirrelly adults. I don't know how to explain it but the hike was us constantly positioning against each other with body language without ever directly fighting. They would get close to the gun and try to both be near it then we would counter by getting between them and the gun as naturally as possible while hiking up a path that was littered in bear claw marks and dung. We finally make it to the car and they decide we weren't suitable targets and moved on. No idea what two random guys were doing risking their life in a freezing cold raging river in the Sierra Nevadas, or why they felt the need to size up if they could attack three random teens but I'm glad nothing happened that day.
Tldr: Went hiking in the woods with friends as teens. Almost shot some random crazies. Crazies fall into river and we save them. Then crazies proceed to position themselves to fight us. Eventually get away.
Dodged a bullet.
Not anything like this myself, but a friend told me this story.
So he goes with a buddy to hike a trail near our town. Northern Washington state, so lots of woods and trees. When they get to the trailhead, there is one other car there, and he remembers seeing a person in that car. The person in the car was just staring at them, with what he described as a really white unchanging face. He kept staring right at them without trying to hide it or look away. My friend got creeped out, and decided to leave.
In the next week or two after that, a couple of hikers and a ranger turned up dead in that same area. Pretty sure they caught the guy, but I don't remember if his photo was posted.
I did a basics of survival course a while back.
While walking through forests in the middle of nowhere, I would often hear a loud trumpety sound. Kinda like a trumpet some days and a grinding sound on other days.
Not sure what it was, but it was super loud but there was nothing nearby that could make a sound like that
Those darn reinactors.Giphy
About 20 years ago I had just finished my degree and was bummed because I couldn't find a job. A former roommate/good friend and I went on an overnight backpack trip near Burr Oak State Park in Southeast Ohio.
About 2 am we were awoken in our tent by the sound of dozens of horses being ridden all around us. We could hear muted conversation, harness jingling, hoofs clopping and we could feel it shaking the ground. We laid in our tent and the sound just kept on, like a whole convoy was passing right beside us.
After a few minutes we unzipped the tent and the sounds immediately ceased and nothing was there. It was freaky, we were afraid they were going to ride over us it was so intense. I have no idea who or what it was but we're camped on a trail that had been used by John Morgan Hunts Confederate raiders during the Civil War. Not a logical explanation but it was deafening there were so many horses. I can still hear men's voices murmuring as they rode by. Next morning not a single hoof print to be found.
I've spent a lot of time in fairly wild places and never had an incident that I couldn't explain.
Doesn't make them much less scary, though. When you figure out it's a cougar, bear, moose, or strange human, it's not like you exhale and relax.
Scariest moment for me, to date, was the grizzly that was circling our camp in the dusk at about 20 meters. Packed my family into the car as fast as we could move but it wouldn't have been fast enough if the bear had attacked. I really regret it - I feel that I failed as a parent, because it's only luck that nothing horrible happened. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing its green eyes bobbing and swaying in my headlamp. It briefly rushed our vehicle as we left, too. Scary as f*ck.
The closest I ever came to an inexplicable moment was when I was walking though trail-less black spruce up north in the fall and suddenly hit a wall of odor the likes of which I'd never smelled before. Stopped me in my tracks. Some instinct told me that it was a bull moose, and sure enough, in about 20 more meters, there was a clearing with a massive bull. It was rutting season so I got the hell out.
We lived on the Hopi/Navajo reservation growing up. My mom and I were feeding the horses very early in the morning before I went to school- it was still almost completely dark out- when we hear this low, dim humming noise. The horses start acting really nervous, ours included. Sweating, pacing, nostrils flared, eyes showing white- the works. We feed them and walk out from the barn/shack trying to figure out what's happened. We look up after scanning the horizon for anything (squinting as best as we could) and there is a black triangle like thing hovering right over us. It was almost completely silent. It was perfectly over us so you couldn't see it unless you looked straight up and it felt like it was so close I could touch it. It was pretty damn large too- like a long triangle. Smooth and black. Thinking back, it was actually quite impressive and beautiful.
My mom grabbed me and ran back into the shed. This was before cellphones were really a thing so she just clutched me and told me not to make a sound. We waited for what felt like ages but was probably only 2-3 more minutes. The horses weren't even eating, they just paced the shed inside back and forth. Finally the horses started settling down to eat and my mom went outside. It was gone.
We felt like we had the flu the rest of the day and I stayed home. We never told my dad. I think it was some sort of military aircraft since around the reservation there are quiet, secret military set ups but who knows.Banana_Turtle_
I tend to avoid public bathrooms if I can help it. They are terrible places. Few are clean and I admit I am a bit of a clean freak. My beautiful bottom will not grace a dirty toilet seat, no thank you. I have standards.
I'm being only sort of serious. I've been in a pinch before. But have you ever seen a gas station bathroom that was utterly destroyed by the patron (or patrons) before you? It's a horrible sight. 0/10: Do not recommend.
Naturally, some crazy things happen in your local public restroom. We heard some stories after Redditor RuffNBoy asked the online community,
"What is the wackiest thing you've seen in a public restroom?"
"At the theater I work at..."
"At the theater I work at I was cleaning the mens restroom and in one of the stalls was an open condom wrapper, a tiny empty bottle of the nacho cheddar seasoning we sell, and the seasoning scattered near the corner on the floor. Bethesda wishes they had environmental storytelling like that."
Do I really want to know what went on there? I honestly don't think so.
"I used to be..."
"I used to be a hotel maid. Cleaning one room I found two things in the bathroom garbage can: a used condom and a whole pickle."
"I was taking a dump..."
"I was taking a dump at a movie theater and a little kid climbed under the stall and grabbed my foot. I screamed and kicked that kid so hard right in the face just out of sheer instinct. He cried. His dad said, "That's what you get Gavin."
Gavin is at it again and this time he faced some consequences.
"I walked in..."
"I walked in and my eyes were immediately assaulted by a fully naked man running a stick of deodorant up and down his crack."
Wow... what a terrible day to be able to read.
"Not only did this bathroom..."
"Gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Not only did this bathroom have a bathtub (?) but there was a fully dressed and made up mannequin in the tub. Very jarring."
This sounds surreal... and honestly rather creepy.
"I once stopped..."
"I once stopped at a gas station on a road trip and the bathroom was full of dolls…. Staring with their little painted eyes…."
Their creepy and unsettling eyes!
"Two people were having sex in the handicapped stall. I was seven."
So something tells me you learned about the birds and the bees rather early.
"A clogged urinal..."
"A clogged urinal filled to the brim, with an anaconda sized turd spiral floating in it, in hypnotic circles. How a turd that size could be buoyant I have no idea."
This is quite the sentence. I don't think I needed it in my eyeballs, but it's too late now.
"I was in a Berlin dive bar..."
"Olives. I was in a Berlin dive bar with some friends. In the bathroom, there was a vending machine, stocked with tinned tapas. So I came back from the bathroom with a can of olives. When asked where I got them I just replied "bathroom.""
This is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. I can only imagine the looks on your friends' faces...
Okay, so now you understand why I can't abide public restrooms. If you're smart, you'll run for the hills the next time you're in the proximity of one. Things can only go downhill from there. (Am I being serious? Maybe... maybe not.)
Have some stories of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
One should never be fooled by a first impression.
Certain people might behave in a way that is less than indicative of what they are actually like, and might prove to be far more impressive, or much less friendly, once you get to know them a little better.
However, sometimes people will behave in a certain way which leaves one unable to avoid making assumptions about people.
Namely, their intelligence.
Redditor sparklingshanaya was curious to hear what behavioral traits the Reddit community took as a sign of possessing a considerable lack of intelligence, leading them to ask:
"What are some behaviors that scream unintelligence?"
An unwillingness to learn
"I feel like the classic example is being unable to change your opinion or idea when you are presented with new information."
"You don’t have to set everything you believe in stone."- Rusty_of_Shackleford
"I think a key thing that separates the intelligent from the less intelligent is curiosity and how far you actually go to learn."- TuxedoWolf07
When even they don't know what they're talking about.
"Maybe not unintelligence but ignorance."
"People getting angry when I ask them to explain what they just meant as I want to understand them and not misunderstand."- smokinstuff·
"Getting angry when someone ask them to explain their point."- SuvenPanWorking Julie Andrews GIFGiphy
It's never attractive to gloat
"Obsessively telling everybody how intelligent you are."- terribleUsername18
It's ok to admit defeat every now and then...
"Playing 'last word' in an argument you've lost."- LennonMcCartney65
"Being defensive when corrected instead of just accepting it."- Marthstewart123
"Claiming they are always right but not being able to argument why or have a serious debate about it."- GReatChinookDrop The Mic GIF by In Real LifeGiphy
Are you sure about that?
"Constantly saying 'facts' that are extremely false."
"Gets on my nerves."- Sharkifish
Read the instructions!!!
"I just started driving for UberXL."
"The amount of people who think they can fit 8 people with all their luggage into a midsize SUV is astonishing."
"You can see which car comes to pick you up and it says fits 5 people."
"If you have a piece of luggage each then it's more like 3 people."
"I had one group sit there and stare me down like they didn't understand."
"I swear some people just have a mental limit for figuring things out and they all find each other and never get anywhere."- predict_irrational
One should always reserve judgment, as one never knows for sure what lurks beneath the surface.
Even if more often and not, you are left with little to nothing which encourages you to see what's there.
One of my favorite horror films ever is Black Christmas (1974). It's the perfect slasher film. It's scary. It's uncompromising. It's sordid. It's eerie. It leaves you with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. It features some great acting, too! There are some powerhouse talents in it, including Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, and Andrea Martin.
But did you know that the film has been remade? It's been remade twice, as a matter of fact. The first remake, which was released in 2006, was so ridiculous. Not even Martin, who showed up in a glorified cameo in the role of a sorority house mother, could save it.
It was remade again in 2019 — this one bore few similarities to the films that came before it. One wondered why this one even had the same name, but there you have it.
Suffice it to say that the original Black Christmas is untouchable. But it is not the only film out there that should never have been remade. Far from it.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor CrescendoX asked the online community,
"What movie is so perfect that if it would remade, it would be a crime against humanity?"
"Misery. I could totally see a remake of Misery that used the way social media creates parasocial relationships so prevalently."
But let's not. I mean, who could ever replace Kathy Bates? She won an Oscar for the role!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
I've seen the animation they've done for some of these new "live action meets cartoons" things.. The work the art/animation team put into Who Framed Roger Rabbit is STILL to this day putting them to shame."
A good choice. It was a pretty groundbreaking film and it's still influencing filmmakers to this day. That cast!
"It would be impossible to remake that perfect movie. The cast, story, and practical effects are wonderful. A remake would be full of CGI and a BS script."
Don't you dare suggest this! Don't you dare give those horrible Hollywood execs any ideas!
"Spaceballs. I don't want any other version."
But think about the merchandising!
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
"Jaws. I read somewhere that Spielberg won't let it be remade."
If someone did someday remake it, I would highly suggest they remove a lot of the unnecessary subplots that are in the book!
Did we really need that affair?
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
"The Silence of the Lambs. Remakes should only be attempted when you are sure that it can outclass the original but Silence of the Lambs cannot be outclassed."
Two Oscar-winning performances. It doesn't get any better than Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster. The film is a masterclass — the Criterion edition is especially beautiful.
Stand by Me (1986)
"Stand by Me. It would be an insult to River Phoenix and many others to remake that."
This film is so highly regarded that a remake just seems foolish. Why even bother attempting one? Go and read the novella instead.
Back to the Future (1985)
"Back to the Future. Please please please PLEASE don't ruin it with a remake."
As long as Robert Zemeckis doesn't kick the bucket we're safe!
Uncle Buck (1989)
"Uncle Buck. Don't you dare touch it."
Without John Candy that would be like trying to remake the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in a Denny's with only ketchup and mustard. Just a tragic, ill-conceived imitation.
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
"My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesci's performance is perfect."
Hey, don't forget Marisa Tomei! She stole the show. And she won an Oscar for the role!
The list of movies that should not be touched is endless and you no doubt have your opinions.
Which movies should be left the hell alone? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Sex talk is still considered a taboo subject in many households. And I don't mean going into detail about your bedroom conquests at the dinner table.
Overprotective parents tend to be evasive about discussing the birds and the bees with their kids because they feel it's not up to them to have that conversation.
Remember Carrie White's religious mom who refused to talk about intimacy with her 16-year-old?
We all know how that turned out in the classic Stephen King novel.
Anyway, parents turning down an opportunity to have the uncomfortable convo or having their kids miss out on sex education can lead a child to potentially develop damaging misunderstandings about their body and puberty.
The effects of which were explored when Redditor sparklingshanaya asked:
"What’s a sexual misconception you had for way too long?"
It helps to have an earlier understanding about your body when you're younger.
"As a girl, I had no real idea of where/what the vagina was until I was like 11 or 12. My mom didn't give me a real sex talk, just a puberty/body book that said 'the vagina is between the woman's legs' and just had a full frontal diagram (legs closed) of a woman with an arrow pointing to her pelvic region. I also didn't know a period lasted longer than a day until I got mine at 14, and then wondered why it was still going on the next day."
"When my mom realized how abysmal my sex education was, her solution was to rent a video from the library about it and make me watch it on the big family TV in the living room at like 3pm. Granted— it was a very educational video but I won't ever forget one of the educators (a 50 year old woman) talking about how to give a satisfactory blow job."
"Ok so I grew up in a VERY conservative household. Was not allowed to take sex ed in middle school and they helicoptered in high school. Any internet access they had access to view so I never watched porn/looked at pics. Absolutely nothing. So for a long time I thought penises were shaped like a smaller pringles can. I thought it was just like...a straight up cylinder. Moved out at 17 and googled some things and man I had men's anatomy SO wrong."
Wrong End Of The Stick
"Friend of mine has a similar background and I just about lost my mind when she said the balls are the END of the penis. Like she had seen those doodles and had it upside down so they just dangle off the end of the shaft lmaooo."
Let's get verbal about getting oral.
Satisfy A Woman
"Learn to go down on a woman, like become a master at it. Do this."
Excuse For Supper
"I second this. Been married for 20 years and it's something I'm happy to do."
"Get involved, people."
"Edit: thanks for the medals and upvotes, people! Be assured that I'll be celebrating tonight."
"Friend of a friend thought it meant kissing. And they were like 19. So glad they found out through a conversation and not through a dude asking for it, or her talking about it. That would've been extremely confusing for everyone."
"My friend back in middle school thought a blowjob meant to literally blow on it. I still tease her about it to this day."
"Man, I thought I was gonna get so many blow jobs. That’s just not true."
As young adolescents, these Redditors got these terminologies mixed up.
"When I was around middle school age I thought that oral sex meant talking dirty :’)"
"I used to sext with my girlfriend in high school. When we broke up, she just went crazy and told everyone in our grade that I was great at 'oral sex' (she meant sexting💀) School hasn’t been the same since then."
Learning By Example
"I was kind of sheltered growing up, and like most sheltered kids, I learned a lot about sex through porn. I kept seeing 'blowjob' videos, and (i had no idea what a blowjob) assumed it was some kind of sex blooper. Like, something got messed up and the director said 'Oh darn, you blew it! Let’s take it from the top.'”
I had sex education in sixth grade after my parents gave the school permission for me to attend the special assembly centering on the topic.
But I remember how vague the instructor was. By the time I eventually had my first nocturnal emission, I remember being terrified, yet simultaneously elated. It was very confusing, and I didn't know what happened.
I remember reflecting back to sixth grade and thinking the school must've skipped that part in sex ed.