We all went through a phase where we thought we knew better than our parents.
It's pretty natural in adolescent life to rebel, and therefore, the things your parents tell you seem trivial or meaningless. But for the most part, we've all been shown up one way or the other by sage words that we should have listened to in the first place.
Reddit user flyoverthemooon asked:
Here are some of the most inspiring answers.
A Word A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
When my dad was on his death bed with pancreatic cancer he wasn't allowed to talk. He fought and fought with the nurses so that they would let him say one word to my brother and I. He took off his oxygen mask, looked at us both, and said, "Hey."
It was hilarious. He was the best.
He lay there dying, and fought with nurses to give my brother and I a laugh on a day where our world was falling apart.
Happy Father's Day, Dad.JeanValdong
Take Care Of Yourself
My dad passed away from cancer a few years ago. During his battle I was his sole caretaker. At 19 I was taking care of him, making sure our bills were paid, getting groceries, cooking, cleaning, setting up appointments, and the million other tasks that come with being someone's caretaker.
One day when I returned from running errands, my dad told me he forgot our electric bill was due that day. I casually told him that I had already run a check over while I was out and about. I remember he stopped what he was doing and just turned to look at me and said "You're going to be just fine when I'm gone". That was heartbreaking to think about, but comforting to know he saw my maturity and ability to handle everyday responsibilities. I hadn't felt I was ready to be on my own, but he helped me realize I would be just fine. 8 years later, and I am doing okay on my own, but man do I wish he was here. Happy father day dad. FluffyForce
Try To Remember
When I was 12, nearly 13, my mum took me out on a dinner date to talk to me about puberty, and how much we might hate each other over the next few years.
As part of the evening, she said she had a gift for me. I was pretty super excited. She had teased that it was very special and something I would cherish. So, clearly I thought it would be a Sega Genesis, or maybe a pair of Reebok pumps (... 33 years old, still never had a pair and quite pissed about it).
Instead, she handed me the book "Love you forever" - you know, the children's book.
On the inside she had written "To my darling Jake, love mum. Always remember this".
She died yesterday after a 12 year battle with early onset dementia. I'll be getting "Always remember this" tattooed on my arm next week, traced from her handwriting.vingverm
I went to college about 5 hours away from where I grew up, and the first two years there I didn't have a car. My dad, who commuted probably 2+ hours a day (I grew up in Northern Virginia) every work day for a lot of his working life, drove down 5 hours to come pick me up so that I could come home for some holiday usually. This is when we would have our talks.
At the time I was a college sophomore struggling with what direction I wanted to go in terms of major and career. I've always been pretty intellectually capable but never had a career that just beckoned me, or made me feel passionate. But I went to college anyway, since that's what you're supposed to do if you have the money and the capability. As an upper middle-class millenial I now realize this is not an unusual feeling at all. I ended up majoring in history and anthropology.
My dad is a baby boomer who grew up dirt poor and worked at a 7-11 to get himself through college and law school. I just remember coming at him with a question about what I should pursue and he put it to me like this:
"Well, there's two ways. First you either you find something you love to do, or second find something you love and work to support it."
I took this in for a moment, and asked which one he did.
"I do the second one."
I asked what he was supporting, with the naievete only a 19-year-old can muster.
He chuckled. "You."
That just flipped my perspective on everything and made me feel a lot better about being sort of lost. I knew I'd figure it out, and that life would push me where I needed to go when I needed to go there.
He's still around. I should tell him.wiseass781
"i might not have given birth to you, but you are mine. You were mine from the day I met you. I loved you the second I saw you. Nobody can change that." This came from my stepmother a couple years ago. I met her when I was 13, and I'm almost 21 now.
It meant a lot because she was the first strong, consistent mother figure I ever had. She knows that was a nice thing to say, but i don't think she knows quite how much it meant to me. I don't think she will ever know how much I love and respect her for who she is. StormTheParade
This is really insignificant but made a big impact on my relationship with my mother. I was about 4 (I have a surprising amount of memories from when I was little) and I was coloring on one of those art easels for kids and my mom was cleaning the house. I asked her if I could draw on myself and she surprisingly said yes. So of course I took my markers and just went to town coloring my arms and stomach and legs. She came into the room to find me and flipped out that I had done this. I thought I was in big trouble so I started crying and I said "But you told me I could!" To which she responded, "You're right I did. I thought you meant on the paper though. That was my fault, let's get you cleaned up." And I wasn't in trouble at all. That was the day I realized adults aren't just there to punish you and that my mom was fair and understanding. To this day that's one of my favorite qualities of my mom and makes for a solid relationship. wrud4s
When I was little and my mother was still alive, her and my father seemed to always be getting into fights. Even after she was diagnosed with cancer, gone through multiple surgeries, and fought back her estimated date of death 5 years, was essentially braindead, and died, my father STILL harassed her. Besides calling her a stupid bitch and saying he hoped she would just die already, one memory of him really stuck with me.
One time during the summer, we had a storm and the power went out. My mother had just begun to enter her final stage of life, and was on an oxygen machine and bed ridden. She was unable to move, hear, see, or smell, but if she was conscious, she could still feel us. My father turned on the generator, but sent power to our basement (where he always smoked). Confused, we asked him why our mother's oxygen machine wasn't powered. "We have oxygen tanks, so i may as well enjoy myself."
We had one oxygen tank, with hardly enough air for two hours. It was for emergencies such as moving her to a hospital. Not wait for the power to come one, which, living in the country, would take days sometimes.
But the line that makes me look in the mirror everyday and do reality checks is before my mother was even diagnosed. I was 5, and at this point, I wasn't aware of all the fighting. I remember my mother walked into my room one day, and sat down on the bed with me. She asked me what I was doing, and I was playing Pokemon Fire Red, the first videogame she got me. She held my hand said that she loved me. "Please don't ever be like your father. Please respect women, and love your children. Know that I may not always be around, but I will always love you and support you. Even if I think you're wrong, I'll help you. But please, be different than your father."
As she lost her speech, the last words she spoke was to me. I walked out of the kitchen through her room to say goodnight (it was 12am). She grabbed my hand and lipped "sit down". I held her hand for what felt like an eternity when she finally managed to say the first thing in 3 days, and the last thing in her life.
"I feel so bad for you. I'm so sorry I'm leaving."
I love you mom. Awesomizer20
I'm a high strung person but when I was a child, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said "be like the swan. They glide through the water and look calm and cool, but if you were to look below you'd see their feet frantically kicking. Don't let them see you sweat, but work hard." I didn't think it made an impact but people tell me often that I come off very organized and calm while inside my inner monologue is a constant scream. Thanks, dad! doremifasodone
"Be good to each other," was the last thing my father said to my mother and I before he went into the surgery from which he would eventually die. I think he meant for my mother and I to be good to each other, but I try to remember this every day and apply it to every interaction I have with people.
My father was the salt of the earth, a selfless man who was the perfect example of how to treat others, and I can only hope to lead my life based on his actions and words. Aldo24Flores
I have a good one! One of my first memories was the time I lied to my mom about something. She patiently explained why it was not good to lie and something people should never do. Later that evening the phone rang and my big sister ran to answer. My mom was watching tv or something and called from the other room "If that is [name I forgot] tell her I am at the store!" That was a bit of a WTF moment for me. weedful_things
Sole Of Life
When I was decently young we saw this movie about a magic toy maker or something, not sure what it was called. But one of the plot elements was that he was like 300 years old and that when he was young he bought several pair of leather shoes "enough to last him his whole life" and every time he wore through the soul on a pair he took out another one and he was apparently on his last pair. So towards the end of the movie he gets sick and is in the hospital and the camera pans out to the foot of his bed where you see the bottoms of his shoes and the souls are completely worn through, and so he dies soon.
Anyway, a couple weeks later I had gone to a basketball game with my dad and noticed on the back of the ticket there was a coupon for a free gallon of windshield wiper fluid if our team won. And I wanted to go claim our free gallons but my dad said he had enough windshield wiper fluid to last the rest of his life. And after he said that I went upstairs and started crying, not because I thought his life was actually tied to wiper fluid, but because it was the first time I had really considered my parents mortality, and I hated the thought that they would die someday. Probably seemed like a really innocent thing to say (and it was) but I feel like realizing your parents aren't immortal is a big moment in your childhood. thumpas
A Happy Ending
It wasn't actually anything that she said.
My mom had breast cancer when I was a kid. I mean, its breast cancer though so - there was always an overlying feeling of "we'll get through this, it's success rate is so high." But of course it's still scary.
When my mom started going through chemotherapy, I kept asking her how she still had so much hair, because even at ten years old I knew what was supposed to happen. She just kept brushing it off as her dads thick hair genes.
Probably a month or two through, I woke up for school one morning - which was very unusual for me. My mom always woke me up, and it was still pretty early so I decided to do something nice for her and maker her some coffee eggs and toast.
Right when I opened the door I saw her facing a mirror drawing on eyebrows and I nearly dropped everything I had because she was entirely bald. Pale. Thin. Bruised. My mom turned around shocked to see me and I couldn't take it. I set the food down on the floor and ran away like a stupid kid, and heard my mom start crying. I ran back up and apologized and said I was just startled.
It took me a bit to realize that she was going out of her way each morning getting up an hour before she normally had to just to protect me from what the cancer was doing to her. She didn't want me to see that side.
After that realization, I can't help but love my mother so much more.
I love you mom. I'm gonna go call my mom now. She's awesome. Slemo
If At First You Don't Succeed
Two incidents where the responds was the same.
I was probably twelve and tried to cook for the first time. I burned my eggs and I was expecting my dad to be angry that I had wasted food. But he casually threw it in the trash and said.
"It's alright, just try again."
I learned that sometimes you have to make mistakes to succeed.
Another one was when I was probably fourteen. I was a bit hyper and heavily into martial arts. I was in the kitchen and doing kicks when I lost balance and knocked a glass of the counter. Felt really embarrassed and again thought that my dad would be upset but he just asked me if I had stepped into any splinters and then cleaned up my mess.
He doesn't remember any of this but it's strange how often I go back to those moments when someone messed up and I try to be calm and understanding. SirPineappleKing
Dust To Dust
When my father was dying he told me that as he was leaving this life he had become aware of what was important and what was not. He said that all he owned, his professional success and other things people prized were just "ashes and dust". He said the three things that were of value and that he would take with him were the love he shared with people, the services he performed for them and what he had learned and experienced.
He then reminded me that one day I would be in his same position so if I wanted to look back at that moment on a life without regrets, then I should focus on what I would see as important when I am on my death bed.
That one conversation had shaped my life for the last 40 years. shadowjack00
Drive The Bus
"Your life is like a bus. People will get on, people will get off. Some people will stay on forever. Other people will be there for a short time and then leave. And sometimes you just need to kick someone off your bus" EvilAbdy
I'll Love You Forever
When I was small, my mom and I would read together every night before bed. One night when I was maybe 5, we read a new book: I'll Love You Forever. It's written from the mom's point of view as her kid grows up and does exasperating things (ruins her favorite watch, stays out late with friends, etc). Each time, the mom says, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." The last page is written from the adult son's point of view as he gently takes care of his senior mother, and he says the same thing his mom always said, but says "mommy" instead of "baby". My mom cried reading it to me, and I didn't understand why until I got older and realized she was imagining all the stages of life she would go through with me and my brothers. I'm an adult now, and thinking of it still makes me teary-eyed.daftpepper
Call When You Need Me
When I was pretty young my mom once told me "Never feel embarrassed about asking for a ride home" in regards to not being sober enough to drive. Years later I'm leaving a friend's house and I make it about 1 block before I can literally hear my mom's voice in my head as I'm driving and thinking to myself, "Man I don't want to call my BF to come get me after I told him I wouldn't need a ride." Immediately pulled over and called him. 10/10 would do it again. ours_de_sucre
Love Is Stronger Than Life
My mother died of cancer when I as about 12. She had fought for a long time and finally reached the point where we had to come to terms that she was going to die. She was supposed to go into hospice care so I didn't know that when I visited her in the hospital it would be the last time I would talk to her. The last thing she said to me was when I was getting a hair cut.
I spent the night at a close family friend's house that night. My friend's father woke me up late at night and told me my mom had passed. He and my father were both there when she passed. He said she had him promise that he would look after me and my father. Her final words were "Tell (my father and me) I will always love them."
It really impacted me. My mother was in pain, dying of cancer, and she spent her last moments worried about my father and I. Since then, I've tried to live that selflessness out in my own life. I try to make her proud every day. robfrizzy
"Don't compare yourself to your sister. You two are both amazing in your own right."
I struggled with living in the shadow of my sister's academic prowess. All the teachers knew who she was and expected me to be the carbon copy of her. I put so much pressure on myself to be just as good and my mom saw me struggling and said this to me one day. It took awhile, but I finally realized that I am my own person with qualities that are unique to me and make me a good person. Onescoopofmayo
Something my Dad told me that's always stuck with me.
Once we were driving to pick up my stepmom, I was around eleven or twelve. (For reference my Dad used to be a bank manager before he retired) He told me about a customer he had a few year back that had immigrated to Canada and after working several different jobs he decided he wanted to open his own business. Now according to my Dad this guys credit wasn't super stellar but it wasn't awful but his business idea was considered high risk. My Dad told the man the bank couldn't give him a loan and the guy was distraught. He begged and pleaded swearing up and down he would be successful and pay back the money. Now this was back before everything was done with computers and your loan was actually accepted or denied by a person. So my Dad told the man he'd do what he could. Couple days later my Dad called the man and told him he approved the loan and the man was ecstatic. Fast forward a few years and the mans business is booming, as well as several others he started up. He's one of the banks best customers.
After telling me this story he pulls the car over and looks me in eyes and says "I approved that man because I saw something in him. He had what you call good character, and having good character is more important than money." ownNfools
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....
It's amazing how one change to your lifestyle can improve your daily life.
Be it starting your day with yoga, eliminating foods that don't agree with you, or simply seeing your friends more often, something we're all eager to do after months of quarantine, it's amazing how one little change can make waking up and getting through your day more bearable.
Perhaps the only frustration that comes with this change, is that you only wished you'd started doing it sooner.
"What improved your life so much, you wished you did sooner?"
There is always fun to be had!
"I stopped living my life just waiting for the weekend."
"When you work 5 days a week and have just 2 off, it's not good to be always waiting for those 2 days."
"You can plan something meaningful or fun every day, even if it's just a small thing."- cake_or_cookies
Listening to your dentist can pay off.
"Actually, I use a water pick now."
"Now my hygiene and cleaning visits are a breeze, and I haven't had a cavity in years!"- perrydolia
A change of scene was just the ticket.
"Just packed up and moved thousands of miles away."
"Left everything behind and just started over."
"Besides some debt, a suit case, and contacts for only the non-toxic people in my life, it's been an extremely liberating experience."
"And looking back, nothing was really preventing me from doing it sooner, no real reasons at least."
"I just kept coming up with excuses not to do it until one day I couldn't think of one."- SpicyRiceAndTuna
No more language barriers!
"Now I have a lot of amazing latino friends and I got a lot of great gigs and opportunities because of it."- kellytai1478
Can't beat the commute
"Not everyone can afford this, but moving closer to work."
"My commute went from 45 miserable minutes in traffic glaring in hatred at the tail lights in front of me to a pleasant 15 minute bike ride."
"I got an hour of free time every day and better health."- munificent
When in doubt, check with your doctor
"Got a proper diagnosis."
"I think a lot of people that for years questioned themselves 'what’s wrong with me?' when they finally got diagnosed it’s a big relief and changes a lot in a better way."- popcornostar
There's no expiration date on education
"Bachelor degree at 47 years old."
"Master degree at 50 years old."
"Doubled my salary in 4 years, from just getting by to on track for retiring at 60."- scientistzero
Get your body moving!
"Exercise every day."
"Anxiety and depression are much easier to manage, and I got some confidence I haven't had in years."- darodardar_Inc
"Low impact cardio."
"F*ck, I loved to run, but it destroyed my legs."
"I can swim my little heart out."- Hyperion0000
Stop and enjoy the beauty of the world once and a while
"When I was told that I would lose my eyesight it made me pay more attention to how beautiful the sky was."
"I can still see and I enjoy watching the clouds on a level I can't even explain."- DaniB3
It's hard not to stop and wonder if our lives would have been even better had we made these changes earlier.
But no point in stopping and looking back, when you can just appreciate how great your life is now.