People Share Their Most Epic Craigslist Personals Section Adventures
People Share Their Most Epic Craigslist Personals Section Adventures
[rebelmouse-image 18356534 is_animated_gif=The Craigslist personals section has given life to some incredibly entertaining stories about how people come together for various reasons and events. Whether it be for a little romance, to party, or to get it on, the personals section on Craigslist has manifested experiences you couldn't find in many other places. Recently, Craigslist has announced that they are terminating the section, which inspired everyone to share their most memorable moments.
RebootOnceShakeTwice asks:
In honor of Craigslist shutting down their personals section, what is your favorite Craigslist story?
Buckle your seat belts, you are in for a raunchy and entertaining ride.
When you get more than you bargained for
[rebelmouse-image 18356535 is_animated_gif=Had a Halo LAN party in Burlington Iowa and only posted the ad on craigslist. It wasn't really planned, it was just something we thought up. We said "Bring your xbox 360, a TV, and an extension cord. $100 cash prize" We rented the gym of a church and set up a couple tables thinking maybe 10 people would show up. People from Indiana drove 3 and a half hours just to play. There was probably 150 people there, and we were there for 14 hours. It was a huge clusterf* in regards to keeping score, but once enough people left, it wasn't too bad.
When you are so rich you just keep the box
[rebelmouse-image 18356536 is_animated_gif=November 2007 my friend found a guy giving away a brand new Xbox 360 with all the fixin's along with Halo 3 and the usual sports games. All you had to do was pick it up for the price of $0.00. He figured he had nothing to lose because it was in a nice part of town. Turns out there was a catch.
The man wanted to keep all the boxes and packing for the console and games because he was going to give his son coal for Christmas. My buddy didn't ask why but said the guy's face and tone told him the kid must have deserved it.
We played a lot of Halo 3 but sometimes I still imagine how that kid felt on Christmas morning.
Fulfilling the childhood fantasy
[rebelmouse-image 18356537 is_animated_gif=On a whim, I decided to look up if anyone was selling any legos nearby, in an effort to make 10 year old me's dream of owning a ton of legos come true.
So I'm scrolling through, some of it is old bricks, some are half sets or single sets usually over priced, and then I see a guy selling what looks like a good sized lot for $120. Some of its new, some a few years older, but definitely a bargain for that price. I reached out to the seller, and he said he already had someone interested (add was only up for 45 minutes) but that they hadn't given him a solid answer, so I told him I'd definitely buy the lot if her could wait a couple days to meet up for it, and he agrees.
So a couple night later we meet up in a parking lot, exchange pleasantries, and get to the transaction. He starts by pulling out a Rubbermaid full of legos, then a second one, then a third, then a bunch or shoe boxes and unopened sets! As I'm loading these up, I pulled out a random set and saw a police station from a few years early that started at $120, so I've already made an equal purchase. I drive a PT, and with the back seats down, he filled the back 2/3rds of my car up to my shoulders!
He had no idea how much these were worth, just figured he was selling his kids' toys to another dad for their kids. All in all, it was probably about $2,000 base value of legos I got that day. It was a good day.
When you took a chance and it worked out
[rebelmouse-image 18353198 is_animated_gif=Was getting kicked out of a house due to the landlord deciding that his son and friends were gonna take over the house when the lease was up. I was panicking because I didn't have a lot of money to get a new place. I put up one of those "room wanted" ads and got the usual scam emails and a few other hits, but then got an email that sounded too good to be true. Guy owned his house, rented out two bedrooms for a very good price, and had one open up due to a tenant moving out.
I was cautiously optimistic because Craigslist is what it is, but it ended up being a perfect landing spot. Three years later, I still live there and the homeowner is like family to me now. I know most people will tell you never to find roommates on Craigslist, but it worked out for me.
Who doesn't want a naked chef?
[rebelmouse-image 18356539 is_animated_gif=My mother was scrolling through Craigslist, as she usually does to see if her old lazy-ass f* of a landlord put his apartment up for sale yet (the apartment we used to live in), and she came across an ad where a man would come naked, to your house, and cook you dinner.
Not do the sex. Not make out. Just come, and cook you dinner.
I burst out laughing when a friend of mine sent me the same ad via email. It was so outright ridiculous I just could not fathom it.
If someone fell for it, I bet you 100% this man f* them after.
When you turn into a therapist for your trick
[rebelmouse-image 18356540 is_animated_gif=Whaaaat? They shut it down? This is news to me... I've had a blast using CL Personals over the years.
I got chatting to a girl through there a couple of years back, we met up once for a drink, second time for a movie and third time for dinner at my place. We finished the meal and I invited her into my room, but I noticed she was in an awkward position on the bed, like she wasn't getting comfortable, her legs were dangling off the side. Thought she was feeling uneasy about it so I toned down our makeout session but she insisted I keep going.
Still, she stayed in this super weird position and wasn't laying down straight. I told her to relax and reassured her it was ok to get comfortable. It was then that she broke down and confided in me that she had a phobia of putting her feet on anything she doesn't own. Wtf? Come to think of it, she didn't take her shoes off until she entered my room and her feet never touched the bed, it definitely explained the weird leg-dangling position she was in.
All romance came to an end and I changed into therapist mode. She told me an ex-roommate once bought a foot cushion for their living room but she could never bring herself to rest her feet on it purely because she didn't own it. Kicked her roommate out shortly after that. She knew it was an odd phobia to have but she simply couldn't overcome it.
Needless to say we never went any further that night aside from some cuddling & consolation. Never saw her again but I often wonder how she's doing.
Oh Craigslist... those were the good old days, you were the best.
When you find your job on Craigslist
[rebelmouse-image 18356541 is_animated_gif=Answered an advert for booth girls at a comic con.
Worked for the same guy for over a year and became friends with another booth girl he hired.
After a while, the other booth girl mentioned her other job - she indulges various fetishes professionally. Asked if this is something I'd be interested in, since she knew I hated my day job and was pretty consistently broke.
I was like,you make HOW MUCH per hour doing this?? Sign me the f up!!'
When you put your skills to work
[rebelmouse-image 18356542 is_animated_gif=When I was 19 I met some millionaire in London who was staying in a hotel room the size of a two-story house. First we had a chat and a glass of vodka/redbull. He appeared as the kind of person who was unable to form deeper connections to others - partly because he travelled a lot, partly because he was pretty self-absorbed - and compensated for the lack of meaningful emotional altruism in his life by just giving random people money and favours!
Catfish Penpal
[rebelmouse-image 18356543 is_animated_gif=I was a student from New York studying abroad. I was painfully, painfully lonely and felt that I wanted an escape from my life that didn't involve anyone from London or any of my friends from home. I tried to find a pen pal on Craigslist by posting in the Strictly Platonic section in California, as I didn't want to talk to any British people and wasn't interested in speaking to people on the East Coast. I suppose it was clear from my post that I was a woman. I tried again asking only for emails from women. Again, more really creepy emails from men. Finally, I found a Strictly Platonic ad from a middle-aged man looking for another man to email back and forth because he didn't have friends and wanted someone to talk to.
He seemed like an interesting guy, so I changed the name on the email I use for Craigslist (a throwaway email) so that it said an obviously manly name instead of my clearly feminine one. I sent him a long email and he responded back. We clicked immediately-- we had a lot to talk about, were both clearly super f** lonely, and both had a love for fish.
This correspondence goes on for a while without a hitch. There were a few hiccups, as I would sometimes send emails in the middle of the night because of the UK/US time difference, but he assumed I was just up late studying. At one point, I forgot my fake name but I was able to play it off by saying that I had a different given name, but everyone called me the other name as a nickname.
The man began discussing his life as a single gay male serving as a caretaker for his mother. His brother was also gay, but he was married and the guy I was emailing clearly had a lot of weird feelings about it. I'm a queer woman, so I was able to relate to a lot of what he said. We had a lot of interesting talks about theology and sexuality, our upbringings and how they informed our lives as ~gay people, and the uncomfortable family dynamics we both enjoyed. Over a few months, we become really close. We email several times every day, often sharing links to cool things we've read and even exchanging pictures of interesting things we're seeing (with me being careful not to reveal that I was in England). It was incredibly cathartic to connect with someone else like this, even if the person I was communicating with believed that I was also a gay young man.
UNTIL ONE DAY. This guy sends me a long email professing his love for this fictional person I've fabricated, asking me to please come to visit him on the West Coast to start our lives together. At this point, I know this guy pretty well and I know it's a big deal for him to ask someone to do something like that for him. I didn't really know what to do. Of course I'd lied to him about a lot of the aesthetics of who I was, but I also truly felt a connection with him and genuinely cared about him. I knew he was serious about how he felt. I didn't know what to do.
So I did nothing.
I logged out of the email address and I haven't logged in since. Moved back to America. No idea what happened to the guy.
And that is how I became a Catfish, thanks to the f* Strictly Platonic page on Craigslist.
The love story!
[rebelmouse-image 18345003 is_animated_gif=YOU GUYS this is my moment
My mother met her husband in 2008 on craigslist in the casual encounters. They eventually fell in love and I met him 10/10/10 where he introduced us to geocaching and we went to an apple orchard. He moved in after I moved out in 2012 and has been an excellent role model for my younger sister. They got married in 2015 and I love him so much. He wrote a very touching letter to us about how Craigslist gave him a wife and two daughters. He's so corny ??
Also a roommate that we got from craigslist became one of my best friends in the entire world. I love craigslist.
When you find a sweet deal!
[rebelmouse-image 18356544 is_animated_gif=This one time I got an awesome deal on a Honda CB1000.
When you find a treasure
[rebelmouse-image 18356545 is_animated_gif=This is gonna get buried, but I realized I actually do have a great Craigslist story.
I'm a musician, and back in high school I would constantly scan through Craigslist to see if there were any good deals or cool gear up for sale. I found an ad that said they had a violin in perfect condition for like $60. I had always wanted to learn violin, and I already played double bass, so how hard could it be? (Spoiler alert, harder than I anticipated. I still suck. But that's beside the point.)
I contact the guy and he says to meet him at his apartment. Now, I was naive, but I definitely was aware that this is kind of a sketchy situation. Especially after driving to the place - it was in a shady part of town, looked pretty run down, and I even heard a couple screaming at each other in one of the adjacent apartments.
I contemplated getting the hell out of there, but I had already driven all the way out to this part of town, so I said f* it and knocked on the door. It opens up, and I see a short middle eastern man who must have been 85 or 90 years old. He invites me in, and seems friendly enough, so I step inside.
I look around, and his living room walls are practically lined with string instruments. It seriously looked like hundreds in racks - violins, violas, and cellos taking up probably more than half of the apartment's space. We talk for a bit. I tell him I'm hoping to learn violin, but know basically nothing about it. He says he has the perfect one for me, and pulls down a violin from one of the many racks on the walls. I swear, it was like buying a wand from Ollivanders.
He tells me the history of the violin, shows me the details of the woodwork, and mentions that all he has left to do is secure a bridge onto it (the wooden piece that the strings rest on) if I was willing to wait for a little bit.
I say sure and have a seat on the couch across from him. For a while, we just sit and talk, as he meticulously fixes the bridge onto the body of the violin. He clearly is a master of his craft, moving slowly yet deliberately, adjusting the violin as carefully as he can. He holds the instrument as if it were his child.
He tells me his life story. He talks of growing up in Iran, meeting his wife, falling in love with stringed instruments, immigrating to the United States. He describes his children, and their passions. I end up sitting there, watching him work, chatting with him about every topic, for literally hours.
Finally, he finishes up, tunes it, and plays a quick piece to make sure it sounds good. He clearly is an excellent musician as well. He gently packs it away into a case, hands it to me, and tells me to work hard and stick with it.
What was going to be a quick afternoon purchase turned into a day-long experience getting to know a fascinating stranger, and one I will never forget. And even after all that, he sold it to me for ten bucks less than he asked for in the first place.
I really wish I remembered his name, but my memory is kind of s*, unfortunately. Regardless, that day will stay with me for a long time. Given that it was many years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if he had passed away by now...so if that's the case, rest in peace, mystery violin man.
TL;DR - What I thought would be a quick craigslist exchange at a sketchy apartment turned out to be an unforgettable day talking with a master craftsman.
When the expectations are a little too high
[rebelmouse-image 18345195 is_animated_gif=Coworker got a date on craigslist. He drove to another town to pick her up. She brought her 2 kids with her. They were 16 and 18 years old. Had him take her out to play bingo. When he ran out of money for cards, she offered to take his atm card a pull more out. He declined. She wanted something to eat so the stopped for burgers. Had to get the kids some too. When he dropped them off she told him her birthday was that weekend and asked if he would buy her a Wii.
Multiple use furniture
[rebelmouse-image 18346749 is_animated_gif=Once saw a free ad for a gynecology table. They were moving and their new living room was too small for it, so it had to go.
The fact that it was living room furniture was the weird part for me.
When you find out your husband is cheating hard
[rebelmouse-image 18356546 is_animated_gif=Bless Craigslist personals. They're what got me out of my abusive marriage finally. When you're in a relationship like that you find weird ways to rationalize everything (really my thought processes were a hot mess at that point) and I kept telling myself "Well, at least he's not cheating on me. He'd never cheat on me."
Oh no he wasn't just cheating on me, he was answering every local Craigslist personal ad and as far as I can tell hooking up with anything that had a pulse. His responses were f** gold too (one of these days I need to post them).
That was the last straw. Screen grabbed a couple of the messages so I'd have them when I went to the lawyer, packed up the car and my dog and walked out the door...and pretty much straight to my doctor's office for a complete STD panel because god knows what all he'd been up to.
But hey, I'm happily re-married now and doing all the things I missed out on in the six miserable years I spent with him. So thank you Craigslist personals for being the nail in that coffin!
The fairy tale ending against the odds
[rebelmouse-image 18356547 is_animated_gif=For the first time since I was 16, I'd broken up with my boyfriend a year earlier without a "back up" so to speak. I wanted to actually be single and figure out who I was and what I wanted, and work on myself.
So a year later I was finally debt-free, childless, and a teacher. I hadn't been on a date in a year, but I was actually interested in marriage.
I'd never heard of CL. My gf told me about it when I was looking for a couch. Eventually I saw the personals and told some teachers at my school about all the free single men!
My whole school went into meltdown and thought I was desperate. I had no idea that the CL reputation was perverts and psychos.
Against social norms.....I posted a long advert on women-seeking-men. I wrote about a day in my life, a day in my dream life, a vacation day, a good man description, etc. It was humorous but truthful. I asked for no penis pics and I included a pic of myself.
Several professional men wrote long messages back and sent pics. Some owned businesses, some were executives, some not. I had to sort through some odd responses but so many were just good guys IMO.
........I recently celebrated 10 yrs with my CL husband. I am holding my 1 month old daughter as I type this.
You could literally find anything
[rebelmouse-image 18346400 is_animated_gif=This isn't really a story, but once when scrolling threw random posts, I came across a mother who was selling her family. That included her husband and her two kids, one of which thought they were a squirrel. There were specific directions about how to get them to eat that I don't remember, but one of the steps included something along the lines of doing some dance that the mom would teach you how to do when she delivers the family.
The times it helped you grow as a person
[rebelmouse-image 18356548 is_animated_gif=I used it to successfully get laid casually. A lot.
Never caught anything either, thankfully.
I've since grown out of that and have found love, and while I still suffer some depression symptoms. It's getting better, and she is largely to thank for it.
The mystery job
[rebelmouse-image 18356549 is_animated_gif=My buddy found a "job" on Craigslist. A few days after getting "hired" his employer (who he knew nothing about) straight up sent him a check for $5,000 and a list of furniture stores around town to go, quote, "pick stuff up from". It was really sketchy and weird, so he actually ended up taking the check to the police station and they found it to be fake anyway. They called the employer who, after trying out 3-4 fake stories (all with different accents) eventually just hung up. I'll always wonder what they wanted him to do.
People are required to have a license to drive, fish, and have certain jobs.
So it boggles my mind that people aren't required to have a license to have kids.
Some of the cruelest and most vicious things I've ever heard were words uttered by a parent to a child.
As an adult, I was haunted by a few thigs.
I can't imagine the scaring of an adolescent.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
A tough realization that most of us have to process and accept at some point is the fact that our parents lied to us when we were kids.
But the tougher fact to process may not be the lying itself, but some of the lies that were told along the way.
Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the biggest lie you believed?"
Adulting 101
"That adults knew what they were doing."
- yukipurple
"Maybe not ALL adults, but I definitely thought that adults with responsible jobs have their s**t together. Then I realized they do not have their s**t together at all."
"Which in turn makes me feel somewhat better about being an adult with a responsible job who does not have their s**t together."
- kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf
Moving Violations
"It’s illegal to turn on the dome light while the vehicle is moving."
"Nope. Turns out it’s just annoying as h**l."
- OstrichMan975
A Lottery Trick
"When I was a kid, my cousin convinced me for, like, an hour that her mom had won the lottery. I can still feel the loss of millions of dollars two decades later, and that s**t hurts, bro."
"WHY, JESSICA, WHY?!"
- iforgotwhereiparked
That Truth Hurts
"I’ll fill up my car with gas before work tomorrow morning."
- hoangtudude
"I will do stuff like this for my fiancé in a heartbeat, but if I need to fill up my own gas tank to avoid doing it tomorrow? That sounds like a problem for future me."
- robbviously
When That Grief Hits Seven Years Later...
"My mom told me when I was five and my favorite dog died that it doesn't matter that dogs die, because in seven years, they respawn."
"So I was like, 'Oh, fine. See you then, bud, I will be older, and we will play again.'"
- josevilla7
Replacement Pets
"My hamster died while I was in school. Went back home, and I instantly saw he was a little bit different."
"My mum tricked me into thinking it was the same hamster and he hadn't changed a bit."
"Mom told me the truth a few years later. I was so p**sed off."
- changethename7
"My mom has done the same thing with my nephew’s parakeet. One day, Pickles #1 flew into the pantry, somehow got stuck in a case of Diet Coke, and got crushed by a can avalanche."
"He was immediately replaced by Pickles #2. My nephew asked why Pickles was so mean to him now. Pickles #2 is an a**hole."
"I’m suspicious that we are on Pickles #3 now but I don’t want to know for sure."
- Brotox123
"My mother's cousin did that with her little boy's rabbit."
"The new rabbit was a psychopath. Having his previously loving rabbit now hate him and repeatedly attack him was almost certainly more traumatizing than learning about death."
"I always wondered if stories like that were part of the inspiration for 'Pet Sematary.'"
- victoriaj
Just in Case
"The microwave will explode if I put my face too close to it while it’s heating food."
- ezzysalazar
A SUPER Secret Affair
"That my parents were married."
"The truth is, my father was, just not to my mother."
- left_over_croissant
A Creative Story
"That my dad moved out and rented a room in the house of a female friend for tax reasons."
- Eldhannas
Such Good Friends
"Outside of dumb lies your parents tell you as kids, my friend who worked at a gas station with a big food station that has some ground beef items told me they use kangaroo meat for their ground beef because it was cheaper than cow."
"I am gullible with my friends."
- _Goose_
The Lie That Keeps Going
"When I was 15, over my summer break, one day my mom called and said she was gonna pick me up and we were gonna go to my stepdad's for the weekend."
"I didn’t understand why I had to go when she would leave me at home by myself for the weekend all the time. I was old enough that I knew the rules and she could trust me."
"She told me there was a mixup at the electrical company and they seem to think we didn’t pay the bill and so the power was gonna be shut off, so we were gonna go to my stepdad's until that got sorted."
"That was a lie."
"A weekend turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, and then the entire summer. We hadn’t been home in over two months. I kept asking when we could go home and she’d always have an excuse."
"We reached September, she’s driving me from one city to my hometown to register for the following year of school, which started up in a week, and this was the closest I had been to home in two months! After I registered, we bypassed my house and started heading towards the highway to go back to my stepdad’s."
"It was at that moment I snapped and started freaking out! I knew something was wrong."
"She pulled the car over and started crying. Apparently, my brother had been helping her pay the bills and when he moved out, she could no longer afford the place on her own. So my stepdad was trying to help but he had his own house and kids he had to look after, and he couldn’t keep it up. We had been evicted."
"We stayed with my stepdad for the summer while my mom tried to work something out with the landlord, but they couldn’t come to an arrangement. Because she never told me, and in order to buy herself time to work something out, she had to be comfortable with potentially leaving EVERYTHING behind…"
"Well, she couldn’t work it out with the landlord and we lost EVERYTHING. The only thing I got out of that house was the shoes on my feet and a few outfits and pajamas enough for a weekend stay."
"My mother wanted to keep the lie going for as long as she could to buy herself time that she had to leave behind everything to keep it going. She never went back for anything, so eventually I can only assume it was all thrown away."
"So not only did I lose material belongings like my computer, my video games, and all my clothes, but I lost basic things like my own bedroom… and privacy as a teenager! I slept on my stepdad’s couch for almost two years until his daughters moved out and I took over their old room."
"But I also lost sentimental things like childhood pictures/videos, the memory box I started when I was seven, and the porcelain dolls my dad had given me over the years, he bought me two per year (birthday and Christmas,) and now that my dad is dead, those are things I wish I still had."
- Neikitia
An Elaborate Tale
"When I was very young, we had a pet hamster. He got out of his cage, so my dad put the cage in the basement, thinking he might get hungry and get back in."
"One morning I woke up and there was the hamster in his cage in the usual place. I asked my mom how they found him and she told me she opened the door to the cellar and there he was dragging his cage back upstairs."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and remembered the exchange that it occurred to me she obviously made that up."
- censorized
Too Real
"That acne would only be a problem when I was a teenager."
- McGamers56
"I started breaking out in the third grade and haven't had clear skin since. I'll be 27 pretty soon. This one hits home."
- bayleenator
Part of the Family
"When I was like 16, I found out that one of my sisters wasn’t actually my sister. She was actually just best friends with my oldest sister growing up, and she lived with my family from when she was 12 or 13 through 18 (she and my oldest sister are 15 years older than me)."
"Unfortunately, her parents wouldn’t sign her over for adoption and didn’t contribute anything to my mom raising her for six years."
"The weirdest part is that my family is predominantly fair-skinned, blonde with blue eyes, but the girl I thought was my sister was traditional Hispanic with darker skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. My mom was always very tan and had darker skin and hair throughout my childhood, so I thought that my other two sisters and myself were the odd ones out."
- Schleeeeeem
The Deepest Betrayal of All
"On April Fool's while I was getting ready for school on a cold winter day, my mom told me, 'School is canceled! It's a snow day!'"
"I ran around for a good two minutes celebrating before she told me, 'April Fools!'"
"I've never felt so betrayed in my life."
- samivat
"You better be a mastermind supervillain by now."
- T_WREKX
"Thank you for sharing your Joker origin story, lol (laughing out loud)."
- JulienS2000
These lies have a wide range from the hilarious to the absolutely diabolical, maybe even with a few villain origin stories thrown in.
A common thread throughout most of these was someone telling a lie in order to avoid a tougher conversation, which only led the younger person to have a lot more to process later.
With theaters finally open to those wanting the ultimate entertainment experience that streaming movies at home can't provide, the pandemic that kept many venues closed now feels like a distant memory.
There's nothing like seeing a film up on the big screen the way Hollywood studios intended, and many would argue that experience is worth shelling out the cash for.
That being said, there is no assurance audiences will remain in their seats until the credits roll at the end.
Because not all movies are created equal. Some are just embarrassingly bad and not worth sticking around for.
Curious to hear from dissatisfied moviegoers, Redditor girlcalledmariaaria asked:
"If you have ever walked out of a cinema because the film was so bad, what one was it?"
These Redditors had no idea what they were in for.
Wrong Expectations
"I've not, but when I saw In Bruges, an elderly couple walked out after 20 minutes and I heard the man muttering that this wasn't a film about Belgium at all. It really tickled me."
– Reverend-JT
Regretful Decision
"Holmes & Watson, my family really enjoyed step Brothers and Talladega nights. So I shouted the 5 of us to the movies on Christmas day because for some reason the cinemas were open and it was showing and we don't really do big celebrations. 15 minutes into the movie we all looked at each other like.. wtf is this. I tried to leave.. I went to ask for a refund because their policy said you can get a refund 30 minutes into the movie... But we were 5 minutes late because of the 20 minute trailers.. I'm still seething about spending $100 to basically die of boredom for an hour and a half. I was sitting there embarrassed about suggesting the family outing. My family stuck it out because I'd paid for it and couldn't get a refund even though I told them I didnt care and begged to leave."
– jande425
Plan B
"I've got a story of a film my friends and I refused to leave, actually."
"In 2006 I was turning 14 and was obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean. My mom threw a pirates-themed birthday party where my friends and I were meant to go to see Dead Man's Chest, which was still in theaters in August when the party was. We dressed up for it and everything."
"Well for some reason the showing we were going to see was packed despite the movie having been out over a month, so there weren't 12 tickets available. My mother (and my friend's mom who came along) made a split second decision to see the next PG-13 rated movie available."
"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."
"So a gaggle of 14 year old girls dressed as pirates walked into this theatre to a bunch of weird looks, but we sat down with our popcorn as normal. The next hour-and-a-halfish saw the moms be horrified at the crass nature of the film and keep asking if we wanted to leave. The answer was a HELL NO from the whole group. That movie proceeded to be the basis of our inside jokes for the next 4 years. To this day it's one of our collective favorite grade school memories, even if my mother continues to be embarrassed by it."
– fraxiiinus
Whether it was physical or emotional, these films didn't sit well with Redditors.
Saving Our Necks
"Oh, I remember vividly. It was Battlefield Earth."
"The shot angles kept being tilted this way and that for no reason and I started tilting my head so that things would be level. Then my friend joined in. Then we simultaneously were like 'are we going to cramp our necks for THIS?' And walked out."
– Ahlq802
Punishment For Sneaking In
"I walked out of 28 days later. Not because it was bad. I was 9 years old and snuck in and it was freaking me the f'k out.. watched it years later and enjoyed it."
– OMGi_hafta_poop
Oh, The Horror
"I saw Prometheus twice in theaters. At the second show, a group of 10-year-olds snuck in. The first R-rated scene, which features an alien worm/snake that crawls inside someone's shattered arm, caused these kids to flee the theater in an absolute panic. I imagine they will never forget that day."
– fleur_delyk
Sometimes, it's the theater's fault.
Failed Attempts
"I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, and they played Rise of the Guardians."
"It took about five minutes to realize it was the wrong movie the first time. They tried to fix it, played Rise again, tried to fix it, played Rise a third time, and the whole theater walked out for refunds."
"Apparently it was a issue at a lot of theaters."
– MandolinMagi
Not A Prank
"I guess this technically counts but when I went to see deadpool 2, the cinema accidentally put the wrong film on and played some Amy Schumer film instead. Everyone in the screen thought it was some meta deadpool joke and out of nowhere he’d appear and shoot Amy Schumer so we were all waiting on that. After about 10 minutes of the film, the staff came into the screen and explained that they had put the wrong film on and couldn’t undo it because of their tight schedule etc but we would all get a refund and were welcome to stay and watch the rest of the Amy Schumer film. Everyone left."
– KMeech1969
Other times, the movie itself doesn't screen well for the audience.
Far From Purr-fect
"I’ve never walked out of a movie and I saw Cats opening weekend."
– Man_Bear_Pig25
"I walked out on it, but then decided I wanted to be back inside. They let me back in, but then I walked out again."
– CatherineOfArrogance
I'm all for supporting the arts.
But if a movie I already paid a non-refundable admission for was absolutely terrible, I'd have no problem forfeiting the cash to spare my sanity and walking out of the theater.
The one time I did just that was when I went to see The Island of Doctor Moreau starring Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer.
I was a kid and I was thrilled to go see a movie all by myself.
Unfortunately, the sci-fi horror film wasn't enough to captivate my short attention span.
I walked out and subsequently called my mom to pick me up from the mall where the movie theater was.
Those were the days...
If there was one good thing to come out of the pandemic, it was that it made us all the more appreciative of all that is good in our lives.
No one ever appreciated the importance of friends or family more, having to be kept apart from each other for months, or the little things which bring us joy, which we made sure to keep doing even as pandemic restrictions were lifted.
Of course, being alone with our thoughts for such a long time also resulted in our reflecting on things in our lives, or in the world in general, which we were less than happy about.
Not to mention the all-important realization that life is short and precious, and we don't have time to waste our thoughts on some things.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.