People Share Their Most Epic Craigslist Personals Section Adventures
People Share Their Most Epic Craigslist Personals Section Adventures
[rebelmouse-image 18356534 is_animated_gif=The Craigslist personals section has given life to some incredibly entertaining stories about how people come together for various reasons and events. Whether it be for a little romance, to party, or to get it on, the personals section on Craigslist has manifested experiences you couldn't find in many other places. Recently, Craigslist has announced that they are terminating the section, which inspired everyone to share their most memorable moments.
RebootOnceShakeTwice asks:
In honor of Craigslist shutting down their personals section, what is your favorite Craigslist story?
Buckle your seat belts, you are in for a raunchy and entertaining ride.
When you get more than you bargained for
[rebelmouse-image 18356535 is_animated_gif=Had a Halo LAN party in Burlington Iowa and only posted the ad on craigslist. It wasn't really planned, it was just something we thought up. We said "Bring your xbox 360, a TV, and an extension cord. $100 cash prize" We rented the gym of a church and set up a couple tables thinking maybe 10 people would show up. People from Indiana drove 3 and a half hours just to play. There was probably 150 people there, and we were there for 14 hours. It was a huge clusterf* in regards to keeping score, but once enough people left, it wasn't too bad.
When you are so rich you just keep the box
[rebelmouse-image 18356536 is_animated_gif=November 2007 my friend found a guy giving away a brand new Xbox 360 with all the fixin's along with Halo 3 and the usual sports games. All you had to do was pick it up for the price of $0.00. He figured he had nothing to lose because it was in a nice part of town. Turns out there was a catch.
The man wanted to keep all the boxes and packing for the console and games because he was going to give his son coal for Christmas. My buddy didn't ask why but said the guy's face and tone told him the kid must have deserved it.
We played a lot of Halo 3 but sometimes I still imagine how that kid felt on Christmas morning.
Fulfilling the childhood fantasy
[rebelmouse-image 18356537 is_animated_gif=On a whim, I decided to look up if anyone was selling any legos nearby, in an effort to make 10 year old me's dream of owning a ton of legos come true.
So I'm scrolling through, some of it is old bricks, some are half sets or single sets usually over priced, and then I see a guy selling what looks like a good sized lot for $120. Some of its new, some a few years older, but definitely a bargain for that price. I reached out to the seller, and he said he already had someone interested (add was only up for 45 minutes) but that they hadn't given him a solid answer, so I told him I'd definitely buy the lot if her could wait a couple days to meet up for it, and he agrees.
So a couple night later we meet up in a parking lot, exchange pleasantries, and get to the transaction. He starts by pulling out a Rubbermaid full of legos, then a second one, then a third, then a bunch or shoe boxes and unopened sets! As I'm loading these up, I pulled out a random set and saw a police station from a few years early that started at $120, so I've already made an equal purchase. I drive a PT, and with the back seats down, he filled the back 2/3rds of my car up to my shoulders!
He had no idea how much these were worth, just figured he was selling his kids' toys to another dad for their kids. All in all, it was probably about $2,000 base value of legos I got that day. It was a good day.
When you took a chance and it worked out
[rebelmouse-image 18353198 is_animated_gif=Was getting kicked out of a house due to the landlord deciding that his son and friends were gonna take over the house when the lease was up. I was panicking because I didn't have a lot of money to get a new place. I put up one of those "room wanted" ads and got the usual scam emails and a few other hits, but then got an email that sounded too good to be true. Guy owned his house, rented out two bedrooms for a very good price, and had one open up due to a tenant moving out.
I was cautiously optimistic because Craigslist is what it is, but it ended up being a perfect landing spot. Three years later, I still live there and the homeowner is like family to me now. I know most people will tell you never to find roommates on Craigslist, but it worked out for me.
Who doesn't want a naked chef?
[rebelmouse-image 18356539 is_animated_gif=My mother was scrolling through Craigslist, as she usually does to see if her old lazy-ass f* of a landlord put his apartment up for sale yet (the apartment we used to live in), and she came across an ad where a man would come naked, to your house, and cook you dinner.
Not do the sex. Not make out. Just come, and cook you dinner.
I burst out laughing when a friend of mine sent me the same ad via email. It was so outright ridiculous I just could not fathom it.
If someone fell for it, I bet you 100% this man f* them after.
When you turn into a therapist for your trick
[rebelmouse-image 18356540 is_animated_gif=Whaaaat? They shut it down? This is news to me... I've had a blast using CL Personals over the years.
I got chatting to a girl through there a couple of years back, we met up once for a drink, second time for a movie and third time for dinner at my place. We finished the meal and I invited her into my room, but I noticed she was in an awkward position on the bed, like she wasn't getting comfortable, her legs were dangling off the side. Thought she was feeling uneasy about it so I toned down our makeout session but she insisted I keep going.
Still, she stayed in this super weird position and wasn't laying down straight. I told her to relax and reassured her it was ok to get comfortable. It was then that she broke down and confided in me that she had a phobia of putting her feet on anything she doesn't own. Wtf? Come to think of it, she didn't take her shoes off until she entered my room and her feet never touched the bed, it definitely explained the weird leg-dangling position she was in.
All romance came to an end and I changed into therapist mode. She told me an ex-roommate once bought a foot cushion for their living room but she could never bring herself to rest her feet on it purely because she didn't own it. Kicked her roommate out shortly after that. She knew it was an odd phobia to have but she simply couldn't overcome it.
Needless to say we never went any further that night aside from some cuddling & consolation. Never saw her again but I often wonder how she's doing.
Oh Craigslist... those were the good old days, you were the best.
When you find your job on Craigslist
[rebelmouse-image 18356541 is_animated_gif=Answered an advert for booth girls at a comic con.
Worked for the same guy for over a year and became friends with another booth girl he hired.
After a while, the other booth girl mentioned her other job - she indulges various fetishes professionally. Asked if this is something I'd be interested in, since she knew I hated my day job and was pretty consistently broke.
I was like,you make HOW MUCH per hour doing this?? Sign me the f up!!'
When you put your skills to work
[rebelmouse-image 18356542 is_animated_gif=When I was 19 I met some millionaire in London who was staying in a hotel room the size of a two-story house. First we had a chat and a glass of vodka/redbull. He appeared as the kind of person who was unable to form deeper connections to others - partly because he travelled a lot, partly because he was pretty self-absorbed - and compensated for the lack of meaningful emotional altruism in his life by just giving random people money and favours!
Catfish Penpal
[rebelmouse-image 18356543 is_animated_gif=I was a student from New York studying abroad. I was painfully, painfully lonely and felt that I wanted an escape from my life that didn't involve anyone from London or any of my friends from home. I tried to find a pen pal on Craigslist by posting in the Strictly Platonic section in California, as I didn't want to talk to any British people and wasn't interested in speaking to people on the East Coast. I suppose it was clear from my post that I was a woman. I tried again asking only for emails from women. Again, more really creepy emails from men. Finally, I found a Strictly Platonic ad from a middle-aged man looking for another man to email back and forth because he didn't have friends and wanted someone to talk to.
He seemed like an interesting guy, so I changed the name on the email I use for Craigslist (a throwaway email) so that it said an obviously manly name instead of my clearly feminine one. I sent him a long email and he responded back. We clicked immediately-- we had a lot to talk about, were both clearly super f** lonely, and both had a love for fish.
This correspondence goes on for a while without a hitch. There were a few hiccups, as I would sometimes send emails in the middle of the night because of the UK/US time difference, but he assumed I was just up late studying. At one point, I forgot my fake name but I was able to play it off by saying that I had a different given name, but everyone called me the other name as a nickname.
The man began discussing his life as a single gay male serving as a caretaker for his mother. His brother was also gay, but he was married and the guy I was emailing clearly had a lot of weird feelings about it. I'm a queer woman, so I was able to relate to a lot of what he said. We had a lot of interesting talks about theology and sexuality, our upbringings and how they informed our lives as ~gay people, and the uncomfortable family dynamics we both enjoyed. Over a few months, we become really close. We email several times every day, often sharing links to cool things we've read and even exchanging pictures of interesting things we're seeing (with me being careful not to reveal that I was in England). It was incredibly cathartic to connect with someone else like this, even if the person I was communicating with believed that I was also a gay young man.
UNTIL ONE DAY. This guy sends me a long email professing his love for this fictional person I've fabricated, asking me to please come to visit him on the West Coast to start our lives together. At this point, I know this guy pretty well and I know it's a big deal for him to ask someone to do something like that for him. I didn't really know what to do. Of course I'd lied to him about a lot of the aesthetics of who I was, but I also truly felt a connection with him and genuinely cared about him. I knew he was serious about how he felt. I didn't know what to do.
So I did nothing.
I logged out of the email address and I haven't logged in since. Moved back to America. No idea what happened to the guy.
And that is how I became a Catfish, thanks to the f* Strictly Platonic page on Craigslist.
The love story!
[rebelmouse-image 18345003 is_animated_gif=YOU GUYS this is my moment
My mother met her husband in 2008 on craigslist in the casual encounters. They eventually fell in love and I met him 10/10/10 where he introduced us to geocaching and we went to an apple orchard. He moved in after I moved out in 2012 and has been an excellent role model for my younger sister. They got married in 2015 and I love him so much. He wrote a very touching letter to us about how Craigslist gave him a wife and two daughters. He's so corny ??
Also a roommate that we got from craigslist became one of my best friends in the entire world. I love craigslist.
When you find a sweet deal!
[rebelmouse-image 18356544 is_animated_gif=This one time I got an awesome deal on a Honda CB1000.
When you find a treasure
[rebelmouse-image 18356545 is_animated_gif=This is gonna get buried, but I realized I actually do have a great Craigslist story.
I'm a musician, and back in high school I would constantly scan through Craigslist to see if there were any good deals or cool gear up for sale. I found an ad that said they had a violin in perfect condition for like $60. I had always wanted to learn violin, and I already played double bass, so how hard could it be? (Spoiler alert, harder than I anticipated. I still suck. But that's beside the point.)
I contact the guy and he says to meet him at his apartment. Now, I was naive, but I definitely was aware that this is kind of a sketchy situation. Especially after driving to the place - it was in a shady part of town, looked pretty run down, and I even heard a couple screaming at each other in one of the adjacent apartments.
I contemplated getting the hell out of there, but I had already driven all the way out to this part of town, so I said f* it and knocked on the door. It opens up, and I see a short middle eastern man who must have been 85 or 90 years old. He invites me in, and seems friendly enough, so I step inside.
I look around, and his living room walls are practically lined with string instruments. It seriously looked like hundreds in racks - violins, violas, and cellos taking up probably more than half of the apartment's space. We talk for a bit. I tell him I'm hoping to learn violin, but know basically nothing about it. He says he has the perfect one for me, and pulls down a violin from one of the many racks on the walls. I swear, it was like buying a wand from Ollivanders.
He tells me the history of the violin, shows me the details of the woodwork, and mentions that all he has left to do is secure a bridge onto it (the wooden piece that the strings rest on) if I was willing to wait for a little bit.
I say sure and have a seat on the couch across from him. For a while, we just sit and talk, as he meticulously fixes the bridge onto the body of the violin. He clearly is a master of his craft, moving slowly yet deliberately, adjusting the violin as carefully as he can. He holds the instrument as if it were his child.
He tells me his life story. He talks of growing up in Iran, meeting his wife, falling in love with stringed instruments, immigrating to the United States. He describes his children, and their passions. I end up sitting there, watching him work, chatting with him about every topic, for literally hours.
Finally, he finishes up, tunes it, and plays a quick piece to make sure it sounds good. He clearly is an excellent musician as well. He gently packs it away into a case, hands it to me, and tells me to work hard and stick with it.
What was going to be a quick afternoon purchase turned into a day-long experience getting to know a fascinating stranger, and one I will never forget. And even after all that, he sold it to me for ten bucks less than he asked for in the first place.
I really wish I remembered his name, but my memory is kind of s*, unfortunately. Regardless, that day will stay with me for a long time. Given that it was many years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if he had passed away by now...so if that's the case, rest in peace, mystery violin man.
TL;DR - What I thought would be a quick craigslist exchange at a sketchy apartment turned out to be an unforgettable day talking with a master craftsman.
When the expectations are a little too high
[rebelmouse-image 18345195 is_animated_gif=Coworker got a date on craigslist. He drove to another town to pick her up. She brought her 2 kids with her. They were 16 and 18 years old. Had him take her out to play bingo. When he ran out of money for cards, she offered to take his atm card a pull more out. He declined. She wanted something to eat so the stopped for burgers. Had to get the kids some too. When he dropped them off she told him her birthday was that weekend and asked if he would buy her a Wii.
Multiple use furniture
[rebelmouse-image 18346749 is_animated_gif=Once saw a free ad for a gynecology table. They were moving and their new living room was too small for it, so it had to go.
The fact that it was living room furniture was the weird part for me.
When you find out your husband is cheating hard
[rebelmouse-image 18356546 is_animated_gif=Bless Craigslist personals. They're what got me out of my abusive marriage finally. When you're in a relationship like that you find weird ways to rationalize everything (really my thought processes were a hot mess at that point) and I kept telling myself "Well, at least he's not cheating on me. He'd never cheat on me."
Oh no he wasn't just cheating on me, he was answering every local Craigslist personal ad and as far as I can tell hooking up with anything that had a pulse. His responses were f** gold too (one of these days I need to post them).
That was the last straw. Screen grabbed a couple of the messages so I'd have them when I went to the lawyer, packed up the car and my dog and walked out the door...and pretty much straight to my doctor's office for a complete STD panel because god knows what all he'd been up to.
But hey, I'm happily re-married now and doing all the things I missed out on in the six miserable years I spent with him. So thank you Craigslist personals for being the nail in that coffin!
The fairy tale ending against the odds
[rebelmouse-image 18356547 is_animated_gif=For the first time since I was 16, I'd broken up with my boyfriend a year earlier without a "back up" so to speak. I wanted to actually be single and figure out who I was and what I wanted, and work on myself.
So a year later I was finally debt-free, childless, and a teacher. I hadn't been on a date in a year, but I was actually interested in marriage.
I'd never heard of CL. My gf told me about it when I was looking for a couch. Eventually I saw the personals and told some teachers at my school about all the free single men!
My whole school went into meltdown and thought I was desperate. I had no idea that the CL reputation was perverts and psychos.
Against social norms.....I posted a long advert on women-seeking-men. I wrote about a day in my life, a day in my dream life, a vacation day, a good man description, etc. It was humorous but truthful. I asked for no penis pics and I included a pic of myself.
Several professional men wrote long messages back and sent pics. Some owned businesses, some were executives, some not. I had to sort through some odd responses but so many were just good guys IMO.
........I recently celebrated 10 yrs with my CL husband. I am holding my 1 month old daughter as I type this.
You could literally find anything
[rebelmouse-image 18346400 is_animated_gif=This isn't really a story, but once when scrolling threw random posts, I came across a mother who was selling her family. That included her husband and her two kids, one of which thought they were a squirrel. There were specific directions about how to get them to eat that I don't remember, but one of the steps included something along the lines of doing some dance that the mom would teach you how to do when she delivers the family.
The times it helped you grow as a person
[rebelmouse-image 18356548 is_animated_gif=I used it to successfully get laid casually. A lot.
Never caught anything either, thankfully.
I've since grown out of that and have found love, and while I still suffer some depression symptoms. It's getting better, and she is largely to thank for it.
The mystery job
[rebelmouse-image 18356549 is_animated_gif=My buddy found a "job" on Craigslist. A few days after getting "hired" his employer (who he knew nothing about) straight up sent him a check for $5,000 and a list of furniture stores around town to go, quote, "pick stuff up from". It was really sketchy and weird, so he actually ended up taking the check to the police station and they found it to be fake anyway. They called the employer who, after trying out 3-4 fake stories (all with different accents) eventually just hung up. I'll always wonder what they wanted him to do.
I'll gobble up pretty much anything.
But I do have my limits.
All people have culinary limitations.
Some menus, as fabulously touted as they are, just don't do it for everybody.
Everything popular is not everybody's cup of tea... or cake, for that matter.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
Chrissy Teigen Cupcake GIF by Billboard Music AwardsGiphy"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
gold GIFGiphy"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
We go to the movies to escape reality.
Nothing is more transportive than watching our favorite Marvel heroes face off with their nemesis in an epic battle or going to Middle Earth and following the journeys of different-sized protagonists.
While we may never truly experience their worlds in reality, there are other films deeply routed in real-life that are still a welcome distraction from the stresses of our daily lives.
But there's one thing that separates truth from fiction, and that is plausibility.
Moviegoers offered examples of the things that don't fly in real life when Redditor qbl256 asked:
"What only works in movies?"
Courtroom antics are better left up on the big screen.
Anything Goes In Court
"Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are 'going somewhere with it.'"
– aperson7780
Ignoring Protocol
"Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence."
– shegedep
Respecting Boundaries
"Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok."
– Slytherian101
Action movies are entertaining because of its heightened sequences that are more convincing on film.
Violent Tactic
"Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for several minutes while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage."
"Actually lampshaded in Archer."
– yParticle
Piercing Glass
"Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over."
– Glock43xyz
It's Lit
"Shooting a gas tank so it explodes."
"Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine."
– midunda
The Perfect Aim
"Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open."
– Studio_Life
It's Such A Blast
"Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety."
– ImInJeopardy
Certain elements are added to elevate a scene–which only proves, "yeah, that's not real-life."
Sonic Aftermath
"A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection."
– KyOatey
Street Vendor At The Wrong Time & Place
"Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually."
– Double-Elevator619
No Time For Recovery
"Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally."
– Ruminations0
What I always get a kick out of is when the distressed character attempts to flee from a knife wielding, masked home intruder by running up the stairs instead of going out the backdoor.
Like, why make the escape route that much more difficult by adding another obstacle like jumping out the window or being trapped in the closet until the inevitable moment of death?
Oh, right, it extends the tense sequence to prolong the final moments of the soon-to-be victim.
Ah, gotta love the movies.
Sometimes we need a night out or to take a break from our cooking, and it's nice to go to a restaurant.
But from bad food to even worse service, there are details about the dining experience that can ruin the whole night out.
Redditor raymorude asked:
"What ruins a restaurant?"
Yelling at Your Date
"When the background music is too loud."
- CrystalQueen3000
"WHAT?!"
- ColoradoScoop
"WHEN THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IS TOO LOUD."
- CrystalQueen3000
Not to Mention Terrible Acoustics
"We went to a small restaurant that had a live band rocking out on a Wednesday night while a bunch of families tried to eat their dinners."
"We couldn't hear one another at our own table, couldn't hear the waitress, etc. Unsurprisingly, they went out of business."
"Live music is great if you're not eating in a shoebox-sized restaurant, and the band isn't trying to void the warranty on their speakers."
- dragon_wryter
Full Disclosure
"When they don’t put a price on the menu. It makes me not want to order anything just in case it comes out to $30 per dish, but I also feel embarrassed to ask for the price of each item."
- Theoldage2147
Over-Stimulating
"I personally like a dark and quiet atmosphere where I can sit in a high-backed booth and enjoy my meal with my family. Restaurants that are too open, too bright, and have loud music playing in the background ruin it for me personally."
- X_brokeham_X
"People underestimate how much atmosphere can make somewhere a lot less appealing."
"Once I found a chill, quiet, British-style pub with nice wooden booths and furniture where you could relax with a beer and actually talk to people, I realized why I hated going out before. I just needed a better atmosphere."
- PolkaWillNeverDie00
That Luke-Warm Feeling
"Slow service coupled to food not served hot enough because it's been sitting in the kitchen too long waiting to be delivered."
- Back2Bach
Hilariously Bad Food
"There's a famous restaurant in Denver called Casa Bonita that had legendarily bad food. I went there once as a kid, hated it, and never went back."
"But people love it and will try to convince you to go. If you point out that the food is terrible, they will even agree with you but say that it's worth it for the atmosphere. And I'm always like, it's a RESTAURANT! Who cares about the atmosphere if the food is terrible?!"
"I heard a few years ago that it's under new ownership. No idea if the food got any better."
- KatieCashew
Just... Bugs.
"A lot of good answers here but bugs top them all for me. The restaurant could have a 10/10 atmosphere, food, drinks, waitstaff, etc… but if I’m trying to swat flies away from my face and food every 10 seconds, my experience is ruined."
"I’ve left places due to this. One of my favorite places in a downtown area has an amazing outdoor patio, but there’s a bee problem there they refuse to deal with. It’s a deal breaker!"
- Strongbad23
Declining Food Quality
"Cutting quality to save money. Sometimes prices need to change, I get that as frustrating as it can be (and in all fairness that can ruin a restaurant for me just because of my budget, but I think that's an exception), but cutting quality to save money doesn't just make your food worse, it makes your image worse to your regulars."
- ParkityParkPark
Young Diners
"Children on loud devices, so d**n annoying."
- Salt_Section_651
Too Many Options
"A menu that's way too freaking big, saying this as a food service worker."
- N1hili
Not Enough Choices
"When you see a menu with like four items to choose from, you better believe all four options better be perfectly delicious."
- zuck_my_butt
So Fast-Paced
"I personally can’t stand when the bussers or servers are going at 100% speed. Makes me feel anxious and like I need to be eating quicker."
"I worked at a restaurant like this and they were borderline abusive and my coworkers would literally be sprinting around trying to get 10 things done at once. I prefer a relaxing environment and I’ll wait a bit longer to get my food."
- reignthepain
Not All Karaoke is Good Karaoke
"I went to a small restaurant that I've liked before. For some reason, the owners decided to put up a karaoke machine in the middle of the place. With the size of the place and how loud the machine was, you could hear everything at any table."
"We sat down, heard a kid trying to sing 'Let It Go' full-blast and all decided to leave."
- KingOfSheepX
Unhappy Staff
"When they don't treat/pay their staff well. You can tell, especially if you've worked in the industry, and it seeps into every aspect of the place. You can practically feel it oozing out of the walls."
- Hey_Its_Crosby
Nightmare Fuel
"Waitstaff walking towards me carrying a cake and singing Happy Birthday..."
- ccl_now
While dining out can be an awesome experience, there are obviously things that can ruin the whole vibe. But it's clear from these diners that there are certain details that will be a deal breaker, no matter what.
People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them
Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.