People Share Their Most Epic Craigslist Personals Section Adventures[rebelmouse-image 18356534 is_animated_gif=
The Craigslist personals section has given life to some incredibly entertaining stories about how people come together for various reasons and events. Whether it be for a little romance, to party, or to get it on, the personals section on Craigslist has manifested experiences you couldn't find in many other places. Recently, Craigslist has announced that they are terminating the section, which inspired everyone to share their most memorable moments.
In honor of Craigslist shutting down their personals section, what is your favorite Craigslist story?
Buckle your seat belts, you are in for a raunchy and entertaining ride.
When you get more than you bargained for[rebelmouse-image 18356535 is_animated_gif=
Had a Halo LAN party in Burlington Iowa and only posted the ad on craigslist. It wasn't really planned, it was just something we thought up. We said "Bring your xbox 360, a TV, and an extension cord. $100 cash prize" We rented the gym of a church and set up a couple tables thinking maybe 10 people would show up. People from Indiana drove 3 and a half hours just to play. There was probably 150 people there, and we were there for 14 hours. It was a huge clusterf* in regards to keeping score, but once enough people left, it wasn't too bad.
When you are so rich you just keep the box[rebelmouse-image 18356536 is_animated_gif=
November 2007 my friend found a guy giving away a brand new Xbox 360 with all the fixin's along with Halo 3 and the usual sports games. All you had to do was pick it up for the price of $0.00. He figured he had nothing to lose because it was in a nice part of town. Turns out there was a catch.
The man wanted to keep all the boxes and packing for the console and games because he was going to give his son coal for Christmas. My buddy didn't ask why but said the guy's face and tone told him the kid must have deserved it.
We played a lot of Halo 3 but sometimes I still imagine how that kid felt on Christmas morning.
Fulfilling the childhood fantasy[rebelmouse-image 18356537 is_animated_gif=
On a whim, I decided to look up if anyone was selling any legos nearby, in an effort to make 10 year old me's dream of owning a ton of legos come true.
So I'm scrolling through, some of it is old bricks, some are half sets or single sets usually over priced, and then I see a guy selling what looks like a good sized lot for $120. Some of its new, some a few years older, but definitely a bargain for that price. I reached out to the seller, and he said he already had someone interested (add was only up for 45 minutes) but that they hadn't given him a solid answer, so I told him I'd definitely buy the lot if her could wait a couple days to meet up for it, and he agrees.
So a couple night later we meet up in a parking lot, exchange pleasantries, and get to the transaction. He starts by pulling out a Rubbermaid full of legos, then a second one, then a third, then a bunch or shoe boxes and unopened sets! As I'm loading these up, I pulled out a random set and saw a police station from a few years early that started at $120, so I've already made an equal purchase. I drive a PT, and with the back seats down, he filled the back 2/3rds of my car up to my shoulders!
He had no idea how much these were worth, just figured he was selling his kids' toys to another dad for their kids. All in all, it was probably about $2,000 base value of legos I got that day. It was a good day.
When you took a chance and it worked out[rebelmouse-image 18353198 is_animated_gif=
Was getting kicked out of a house due to the landlord deciding that his son and friends were gonna take over the house when the lease was up. I was panicking because I didn't have a lot of money to get a new place. I put up one of those "room wanted" ads and got the usual scam emails and a few other hits, but then got an email that sounded too good to be true. Guy owned his house, rented out two bedrooms for a very good price, and had one open up due to a tenant moving out.
I was cautiously optimistic because Craigslist is what it is, but it ended up being a perfect landing spot. Three years later, I still live there and the homeowner is like family to me now. I know most people will tell you never to find roommates on Craigslist, but it worked out for me.
Who doesn't want a naked chef?[rebelmouse-image 18356539 is_animated_gif=
My mother was scrolling through Craigslist, as she usually does to see if her old lazy-ass f* of a landlord put his apartment up for sale yet (the apartment we used to live in), and she came across an ad where a man would come naked, to your house, and cook you dinner.
Not do the sex. Not make out. Just come, and cook you dinner.
I burst out laughing when a friend of mine sent me the same ad via email. It was so outright ridiculous I just could not fathom it.
If someone fell for it, I bet you 100% this man f* them after.
When you turn into a therapist for your trick[rebelmouse-image 18356540 is_animated_gif=
Whaaaat? They shut it down? This is news to me... I've had a blast using CL Personals over the years.
I got chatting to a girl through there a couple of years back, we met up once for a drink, second time for a movie and third time for dinner at my place. We finished the meal and I invited her into my room, but I noticed she was in an awkward position on the bed, like she wasn't getting comfortable, her legs were dangling off the side. Thought she was feeling uneasy about it so I toned down our makeout session but she insisted I keep going.
Still, she stayed in this super weird position and wasn't laying down straight. I told her to relax and reassured her it was ok to get comfortable. It was then that she broke down and confided in me that she had a phobia of putting her feet on anything she doesn't own. Wtf? Come to think of it, she didn't take her shoes off until she entered my room and her feet never touched the bed, it definitely explained the weird leg-dangling position she was in.
All romance came to an end and I changed into therapist mode. She told me an ex-roommate once bought a foot cushion for their living room but she could never bring herself to rest her feet on it purely because she didn't own it. Kicked her roommate out shortly after that. She knew it was an odd phobia to have but she simply couldn't overcome it.
Needless to say we never went any further that night aside from some cuddling & consolation. Never saw her again but I often wonder how she's doing.
Oh Craigslist... those were the good old days, you were the best.
When you find your job on Craigslist[rebelmouse-image 18356541 is_animated_gif=
Answered an advert for booth girls at a comic con.
Worked for the same guy for over a year and became friends with another booth girl he hired.
After a while, the other booth girl mentioned her other job - she indulges various fetishes professionally. Asked if this is something I'd be interested in, since she knew I hated my day job and was pretty consistently broke.
I was like,you make HOW MUCH per hour doing this?? Sign me the f up!!'
When you put your skills to work[rebelmouse-image 18356542 is_animated_gif=
When I was 19 I met some millionaire in London who was staying in a hotel room the size of a two-story house. First we had a chat and a glass of vodka/redbull. He appeared as the kind of person who was unable to form deeper connections to others - partly because he travelled a lot, partly because he was pretty self-absorbed - and compensated for the lack of meaningful emotional altruism in his life by just giving random people money and favours!
Catfish Penpal[rebelmouse-image 18356543 is_animated_gif=
I was a student from New York studying abroad. I was painfully, painfully lonely and felt that I wanted an escape from my life that didn't involve anyone from London or any of my friends from home. I tried to find a pen pal on Craigslist by posting in the Strictly Platonic section in California, as I didn't want to talk to any British people and wasn't interested in speaking to people on the East Coast. I suppose it was clear from my post that I was a woman. I tried again asking only for emails from women. Again, more really creepy emails from men. Finally, I found a Strictly Platonic ad from a middle-aged man looking for another man to email back and forth because he didn't have friends and wanted someone to talk to.
He seemed like an interesting guy, so I changed the name on the email I use for Craigslist (a throwaway email) so that it said an obviously manly name instead of my clearly feminine one. I sent him a long email and he responded back. We clicked immediately-- we had a lot to talk about, were both clearly super f** lonely, and both had a love for fish.
This correspondence goes on for a while without a hitch. There were a few hiccups, as I would sometimes send emails in the middle of the night because of the UK/US time difference, but he assumed I was just up late studying. At one point, I forgot my fake name but I was able to play it off by saying that I had a different given name, but everyone called me the other name as a nickname.
The man began discussing his life as a single gay male serving as a caretaker for his mother. His brother was also gay, but he was married and the guy I was emailing clearly had a lot of weird feelings about it. I'm a queer woman, so I was able to relate to a lot of what he said. We had a lot of interesting talks about theology and sexuality, our upbringings and how they informed our lives as ~gay people, and the uncomfortable family dynamics we both enjoyed. Over a few months, we become really close. We email several times every day, often sharing links to cool things we've read and even exchanging pictures of interesting things we're seeing (with me being careful not to reveal that I was in England). It was incredibly cathartic to connect with someone else like this, even if the person I was communicating with believed that I was also a gay young man.
UNTIL ONE DAY. This guy sends me a long email professing his love for this fictional person I've fabricated, asking me to please come to visit him on the West Coast to start our lives together. At this point, I know this guy pretty well and I know it's a big deal for him to ask someone to do something like that for him. I didn't really know what to do. Of course I'd lied to him about a lot of the aesthetics of who I was, but I also truly felt a connection with him and genuinely cared about him. I knew he was serious about how he felt. I didn't know what to do.
So I did nothing.
I logged out of the email address and I haven't logged in since. Moved back to America. No idea what happened to the guy.
And that is how I became a Catfish, thanks to the f* Strictly Platonic page on Craigslist.
The love story![rebelmouse-image 18345003 is_animated_gif=
YOU GUYS this is my moment
My mother met her husband in 2008 on craigslist in the casual encounters. They eventually fell in love and I met him 10/10/10 where he introduced us to geocaching and we went to an apple orchard. He moved in after I moved out in 2012 and has been an excellent role model for my younger sister. They got married in 2015 and I love him so much. He wrote a very touching letter to us about how Craigslist gave him a wife and two daughters. He's so corny ??
Also a roommate that we got from craigslist became one of my best friends in the entire world. I love craigslist.
When you find a sweet deal![rebelmouse-image 18356544 is_animated_gif=
This one time I got an awesome deal on a Honda CB1000.
When you find a treasure[rebelmouse-image 18356545 is_animated_gif=
This is gonna get buried, but I realized I actually do have a great Craigslist story.
I'm a musician, and back in high school I would constantly scan through Craigslist to see if there were any good deals or cool gear up for sale. I found an ad that said they had a violin in perfect condition for like $60. I had always wanted to learn violin, and I already played double bass, so how hard could it be? (Spoiler alert, harder than I anticipated. I still suck. But that's beside the point.)
I contact the guy and he says to meet him at his apartment. Now, I was naive, but I definitely was aware that this is kind of a sketchy situation. Especially after driving to the place - it was in a shady part of town, looked pretty run down, and I even heard a couple screaming at each other in one of the adjacent apartments.
I contemplated getting the hell out of there, but I had already driven all the way out to this part of town, so I said f* it and knocked on the door. It opens up, and I see a short middle eastern man who must have been 85 or 90 years old. He invites me in, and seems friendly enough, so I step inside.
I look around, and his living room walls are practically lined with string instruments. It seriously looked like hundreds in racks - violins, violas, and cellos taking up probably more than half of the apartment's space. We talk for a bit. I tell him I'm hoping to learn violin, but know basically nothing about it. He says he has the perfect one for me, and pulls down a violin from one of the many racks on the walls. I swear, it was like buying a wand from Ollivanders.
He tells me the history of the violin, shows me the details of the woodwork, and mentions that all he has left to do is secure a bridge onto it (the wooden piece that the strings rest on) if I was willing to wait for a little bit.
I say sure and have a seat on the couch across from him. For a while, we just sit and talk, as he meticulously fixes the bridge onto the body of the violin. He clearly is a master of his craft, moving slowly yet deliberately, adjusting the violin as carefully as he can. He holds the instrument as if it were his child.
He tells me his life story. He talks of growing up in Iran, meeting his wife, falling in love with stringed instruments, immigrating to the United States. He describes his children, and their passions. I end up sitting there, watching him work, chatting with him about every topic, for literally hours.
Finally, he finishes up, tunes it, and plays a quick piece to make sure it sounds good. He clearly is an excellent musician as well. He gently packs it away into a case, hands it to me, and tells me to work hard and stick with it.
What was going to be a quick afternoon purchase turned into a day-long experience getting to know a fascinating stranger, and one I will never forget. And even after all that, he sold it to me for ten bucks less than he asked for in the first place.
I really wish I remembered his name, but my memory is kind of s*, unfortunately. Regardless, that day will stay with me for a long time. Given that it was many years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if he had passed away by now...so if that's the case, rest in peace, mystery violin man.
TL;DR - What I thought would be a quick craigslist exchange at a sketchy apartment turned out to be an unforgettable day talking with a master craftsman.
When the expectations are a little too high[rebelmouse-image 18345195 is_animated_gif=
Coworker got a date on craigslist. He drove to another town to pick her up. She brought her 2 kids with her. They were 16 and 18 years old. Had him take her out to play bingo. When he ran out of money for cards, she offered to take his atm card a pull more out. He declined. She wanted something to eat so the stopped for burgers. Had to get the kids some too. When he dropped them off she told him her birthday was that weekend and asked if he would buy her a Wii.
Multiple use furniture[rebelmouse-image 18346749 is_animated_gif=
Once saw a free ad for a gynecology table. They were moving and their new living room was too small for it, so it had to go.
The fact that it was living room furniture was the weird part for me.
When you find out your husband is cheating hard[rebelmouse-image 18356546 is_animated_gif=
Bless Craigslist personals. They're what got me out of my abusive marriage finally. When you're in a relationship like that you find weird ways to rationalize everything (really my thought processes were a hot mess at that point) and I kept telling myself "Well, at least he's not cheating on me. He'd never cheat on me."
Oh no he wasn't just cheating on me, he was answering every local Craigslist personal ad and as far as I can tell hooking up with anything that had a pulse. His responses were f** gold too (one of these days I need to post them).
That was the last straw. Screen grabbed a couple of the messages so I'd have them when I went to the lawyer, packed up the car and my dog and walked out the door...and pretty much straight to my doctor's office for a complete STD panel because god knows what all he'd been up to.
But hey, I'm happily re-married now and doing all the things I missed out on in the six miserable years I spent with him. So thank you Craigslist personals for being the nail in that coffin!
The fairy tale ending against the odds[rebelmouse-image 18356547 is_animated_gif=
For the first time since I was 16, I'd broken up with my boyfriend a year earlier without a "back up" so to speak. I wanted to actually be single and figure out who I was and what I wanted, and work on myself.
So a year later I was finally debt-free, childless, and a teacher. I hadn't been on a date in a year, but I was actually interested in marriage.
I'd never heard of CL. My gf told me about it when I was looking for a couch. Eventually I saw the personals and told some teachers at my school about all the free single men!
My whole school went into meltdown and thought I was desperate. I had no idea that the CL reputation was perverts and psychos.
Against social norms.....I posted a long advert on women-seeking-men. I wrote about a day in my life, a day in my dream life, a vacation day, a good man description, etc. It was humorous but truthful. I asked for no penis pics and I included a pic of myself.
Several professional men wrote long messages back and sent pics. Some owned businesses, some were executives, some not. I had to sort through some odd responses but so many were just good guys IMO.
........I recently celebrated 10 yrs with my CL husband. I am holding my 1 month old daughter as I type this.
You could literally find anything[rebelmouse-image 18346400 is_animated_gif=
This isn't really a story, but once when scrolling threw random posts, I came across a mother who was selling her family. That included her husband and her two kids, one of which thought they were a squirrel. There were specific directions about how to get them to eat that I don't remember, but one of the steps included something along the lines of doing some dance that the mom would teach you how to do when she delivers the family.
The times it helped you grow as a person[rebelmouse-image 18356548 is_animated_gif=
I used it to successfully get laid casually. A lot.
Never caught anything either, thankfully.
I've since grown out of that and have found love, and while I still suffer some depression symptoms. It's getting better, and she is largely to thank for it.
The mystery job[rebelmouse-image 18356549 is_animated_gif=
My buddy found a "job" on Craigslist. A few days after getting "hired" his employer (who he knew nothing about) straight up sent him a check for $5,000 and a list of furniture stores around town to go, quote, "pick stuff up from". It was really sketchy and weird, so he actually ended up taking the check to the police station and they found it to be fake anyway. They called the employer who, after trying out 3-4 fake stories (all with different accents) eventually just hung up. I'll always wonder what they wanted him to do.
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay StillTravel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy
"Jump off a moving train."
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
"Donate a kidney."
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I QuitSmoke Smoking GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
SleeptimeTired Good Night GIF by HBO MaxGiphy
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
ByeJimmy Fallon Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
OthersSexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mineangry youre mine GIF by Team CocoGiphy
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
FarewellLove You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
"What did I ever do to you?"
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
Everything You Own Is Orange NowSnl Cheetos GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
"You f**king monster."
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
Well of course I know him. He’s me.Animated GIFGiphy
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
Forever Constipatedthe powerpuff girls bubbles GIFGiphy
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
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"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
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"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
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"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
Or BK...ronald mcdonald yes GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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