The only thing that's guaranteed in life (besides taxes) is death. It's safe to say that we all have most likely flirted with death at some point in our lives, and some of us came a little closer to kicking the bucket than others. Here are some of the most insane near-death experiences that Reddit has to offer.
u/ITotallyDoNotWhale asked: [Serious] What is your "I was THAT close to dying" moment?
Theatre is a deadly sport.
Was a theatre tech in high school. One of the techs was showing the new girl how to use the fly system (a hanging pipe that you hang things on, clouds, airplane, etc). When you bring the fly down, you yell "fly down!" and everyone who hears it echoes it, so everyone quickly knows it's coming down. You also drop it slowly.
Well, I was working center stage, right under the fly. She didn't say "fly down!" until she had already dropped it, and she just let it fall really fast until it was hip height from the ground.
If I would have stepped forward or back, instead of right, I would be dead. Luckily I stepped right and just stared at her. She knew.
Where's that Disney magic when you need it?Giphy
What I remember: I'm 11 yrs old, playing outside, and it starts to rain. I wake up in the hospital 3 days later.
What happened: Lightning struck the ground next to me. I was knocked unconscious, thrown into the air, my heart stopped, paramedics used CPR and a defibrillator to bring me back.
I'm all grown up now with the only long term effect being I have no memories of that summer before being struck. Which kind of sucks because that was the summer we went to Disneyland.
A car almost drove me over intentionally when I was cycling. I sprinted out of there as fast as possible and to this day I have no idea why he did it.
Oh my god. I have a friend who was cycling on a side road in my rural town. Someone rear ended him, then slammed on the breaks before running him over. Then they just reversed and went on their way without stopping at all. Had he been badly injured he would've been in A LOT of trouble and might have even died.
Enjoy every day.
05/10/2019 I was rear ended by a dump truck. In a coma for 42 days and now I can't walk. I'm immuno suppressed and breathing is compromised so who knows what the future holds. Life is good people so enjoy every day.
Sh*t, I remember when I was almost rear ended by a dump truck. I looked in my rear vision mirror to see one coming at me at like 80kph while I was stopped in a traffic queue. I just stared and assumed I was about to die. He slammed on his brakes and swerved into the next lane, tyres smoking. I feel so lucky. I wrote an email to the company outlining what happened and telling them to thank the driver for his quick reaction.
I hope it gets better for you, mate.
That must have been terrifying.Giphy
I was 8 years old and it was mid summer and it felt great out in the mornings, so I decided to go do kid stuff outside. I started climbing a tree in my front yard up to the point I had always gone to, but for some reason that day I decided to go as high as I possibly could. The tree was on the part of my lawn past the sidewalk and against the street, and at this point I'm 25 feet above the pavement.
I go to grab a branch that was too brittle and fall all 25 feet onto the concrete, snapping my left wrist (CF), getting holes and tears on my lungs, and rupturing my spleen. Before I went into surgery (keep in mind I was EIGHT), I overheard the doctor tell my parents they didn't think I'd survive through the surgery. One of the scariest things a kid could possibly hear.
Almost ten years ago I was suffering from stomach pain. At the time I was drinking vodka daily and didn't have any direction in my life. I was still living at home and it finally came to the point where it was obvious that the drinking wasn't the problem. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I waited so long to be treated that I was as pale as a ghost and required emergency surgery to correct the problem.
After all that happened I took better care of myself but just recently I was taken to the hospital again for severe stomach pains. I required emergency surgery again to correct a hernia that formed and was cutting off blood to my lower intestines. I had to have more of my lower intestines removed to get rid of all the dead tissue.
Both experiences were terrible and I felt like I was on my deathbed for both of them.
What an a**hole cousin.
So, when I was about six, I was at a pool with my mom, aunt and entitled cousin. He wanted to swim on a inflatable alligator I was on, so he just pushed me off it and I was there, drowning at the bottom of the pool. He didn't give a flying f*ck about me dying down there. Thank God, my aunt noticed I was gone and that bubbles coming out from water. She then realised what was going on and saved me.
Fun fact: My cousin didn't even get grounded for that.
That's so scary.Giphy
Caught in an avalanche and trapped under snow for ~6 hours.
As stupid as it sounds, I was able to get to my cell phone in my pocket (took me about an hour to get to it though), and call 911.
My battery was low, but I was able to tell them where I was. They sent search and rescue who came and dug me out.
Considering chance of survival past a few minutes is exceptionally low, I got super lucky.
The nurse is a hero.
I was born with a cleft palate, which is a birth defect that can prevent a child from eating and talking properly and can cause the child to starve to death if the birth defect isn't identified and the child isn't given the correct feeding equipment. The doctor on staff to identify my birth defect had left to play golf right before I was born, and the nurses weren't qualified to diagnose me with a cleft palate and give me the proper feeding equipment.
I guess the organization at the hospital was horrible, because about 2 and a half days after I was born no one had diagnosed me, and thus I had not been fed. Eventually one of the nurses found out what was going on and fed me using the proper equipment, but because she was not qualified to make that decision she was fired. If I had been allowed to starve for just a few more hours, I would have died.
That nurse's decision cost her her job but gave me my life, and any time I'm considering suicide I remember that. Thank you, whoever you are, for the gift of life. It just shows you how important doing the right thing is, no matter what the repercussions are.TheMostMajesticSquid
A few years ago, I thought I got a bad case of strep throat, the usual: felt like swallowing razor blades. Figured I could just muscle my way through it, so I waited it out for a few weeks until it became so severe it was impacting my ability to make it to my college courses. So I finally swallowed my pride, put my wallet on the line, and went to the doctor; turned out it wasn't strep, I had a peritonsillar abscess at the back of my throat. The doctor said it was the clearest she'd ever seen one, even asked me to let her nurses take a look at it so they could identify it later. Then I got sent off to a doctor in the ER, two of his nurses diagnosed it as an abscess, he said it wasn't an abscess, gave me a shot in the butt and sent me on my way.
Two days later, I had to go see an ENT specialist who, again, reiterated that it was one of the largest, ugliest abscesses he'd ever seen and that I was lucky to have made it in in time: another day or two and he told me the abscess would've swollen enough to clog my throat and I would've suffocated. Got it drained, but the abscess became recurrent and I had to get it drained multiple times, more difficult each time.
At last, the doctors decide to just cut out my tonsils, and recovery from that was brutal. A few times, I start to cough and bleed out of my throat, try to muscle through it, each time I call the doctor to make sure I'm alright. Finally, they tell me if it happens again, I need to make sure I come in to see the doctor, as it'll be dangerous.
Well, less than twelve hours later, my tonsils start bleeding again. I don't have many of the pictures anymore, but my bathroom looked like a murder scene: I was coughing up huge amounts of blood, it got all over the walls, all over the sink, all over the counter and the floor. The ambulance showed up and brought me to the hospital and they had to give me bags to spit the blood up into, and I filled up like 5-6. They had to put me on fluids because it was so bad. Every time it started to coagulate, I'd cough, and the blood would start flowing again, and let me tell you: it's awful. You can feel, and taste, the blood coming up your throat, and the little coagulated chunks only make it worse. They ended up having to put me under and cauterize the wound, and it was a brutal experience all around.
It's not dramatic as you think, but also crazy af. When I was in high school, I got choked unconscious by another girl.
Some people would refer to her as a yandere or stalker. She would catch my bus home and catch the same bus to school by staying at her friends house even though she lived on the other side of the city 10+ km away. One day I rejected her, and the next day she came in with a ribbon. She said she had something to show me, and took me to this underpass at school that was relatively unpopular. She then fiber-wired me with the ribbon. I didn't know what was going down or if this was some sort of joke so I froze.
Next thing I know I'm in the nurse's office and a friend is standing over me. Apparently she found me just after I fell unconscious, because she got curious as to what was happening. If she hadn't I don't know what would've happened. The stalker got suspended for a few weeks. The found out she had high-functioning autism, and heard more stories about her from there. After everything was done, she came out relatively unscathed, although she did move to a specialist school after.
The most I've heard from her since is she disappeared from a police report.
It's a miracle they got out.
I live in India. Here we have geysers installed inside the bathroom which burn LPG to heat the water. The window in the bathroom has a net attached to it. My house was being cleaned so someone sprayed water on the net. Water bubbles formed on the net stopping ventilation.
I went to take a shower. The LPG burnt all the remaining oxygen in the bathroom. When LPG is burnt with insufficient presence of oxygen, Carbon Monoxide is released. Started feeling dizzy and fell on the bathroom floor. Somehow crawled my way to the door and opened it. Passed out seconds after that.
I'm going to start this off by saying that I don't know for sure if I was close to dying or not, but it felt like it.
When I was a kid, maybe around 8-10, I got really sick. I lived beside my grandmother and I remember sitting on the floor in her living room and suddenly feeling very nauseous and dizzy. My parents thought it was the flu but I progressively got worse. I couldn't lay down because I would immediately vomit, my sleep was suffering as a result. Sometimes it was hard to breathe. I could barely keep food down. My temperature was constantly elevated.
My local doctor had no idea what it was, I remember them running a bunch of tests. This next part is all a blur because of how sick I was. But I remember going from doctor to doctor, even going to my state capital to find a doctor there. No one knew what to do. At one point I was prescribed Robitussin (maybe why I still hate it today.) One doctor said it might be whooping cough even though I had been vaccinated, they gave me an inhaler. Nothing was working. At this point, I had been sick for almost the entire duration of summer break from school. I know I had been given other treatments as well but I was so sick I was just doing whatever they told me, I don't remember a lot of it.
Then...it just went away. I don't know if we ever got answers for what it was, but I got my appetite back one day and 3 days into the school year, I was ready to go. I have never been so sick in my life and I maintain to this day that I thought I was dying.
Sounds like a curse.Giphy
I'm going to preface this by saying my dad's family is known for having weird accidents and health problems. This has been passed on to me.
- fell when carrying one of those trophies with an angel on it and punctured my neck when I was 5. Missed the jugular by less than half an inch
- anaphylactic shock due to an antibiotic. It was so bad my immune system had to reboot itself, and I was on the verge of multi-organ failure
- chronic appendicitis that got dismissed at the ER... it had switched to the acute phase by the time it got removed
Non-health related include: 3 gas leaks in the new house, being evacuated from a building because the IRA threatened to bomb it, having a plane I was in skid on the runaway when it landed, and others...
Those fair rides are no joke.
I am a woman. I was on a fair ride. Looked like an airplane and rose and spun in circles. As it rose I I ended up standing. The force took me right out of my seat. I am forever grateful for the man behind me that grabbed the back of my jeans and pushed me back down in the seat. I was thin back then they are always aware of height and if someone is too big. But there should be a check if someone weighs enough to ride safely. It had a lap bar that remained locked the whole time.
Oh the 90's. What a decade.
Who knew we were in the time of revolution?!
So much happened, yet so much stayed the same.
And not decades later, so much has changed.
Who doesn't love to look back upon a decade and discuss the things that were a common part of life and are now basically obsolete?
You never know in real time.
Redditor Apart-Scalewanted to reminisce about the glory days.
"What was normal in the 1990s but rare or non existent now?"
For me... it's Madonna having a #1 song. It can still happen, but highly unlikely.
MusicNew Music Football GIF by Black PrezGiphy
"A disc man plugged into a cassette tape with a wire to play music in your car."
"Hotlines for the weather report, current time, and movie show times."
"The time and temperature phone number for my small hometown still exists to this day. Same Pre recorded voice and everything. It still advertises caller-id as an add on feature for land lines. Know who’s calling you. It’s easy and convenient with caller id. The time is x. Temperature y."
"Talking to your friends mom to see if they were home."
"I've always thought that having to go through the parents to talk to your friends made things more controlled and respectful. Now kids can just blast each other with every thought that pops in their heads 24/7, that must make things more toxic."
"When picking someone up from the airport, you could wait for them at their gate."
"When I have flights going through cities with people I know I will intentionally schedule a couple hour layover so I can go hand lunch with them and then just go through security again and board the next flight."
I'm OutBye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy
"I still do this to this day. I'll go on vacation for a week and just turn the phone off, or be far enough out in the boonies that there is no cell signal whatsoever."
I wish I could put my phone down. Who knew we'd never be without them?
Let's FandangoMovie Theater Popcorn GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"Calling the movie theater or looking in the paper for movie times."
"Keeping a binder full of CDs in your car."
"I once left the door on my car unlocked and came back to find my car stereo gone but not my full 100 disc binder. The stereo had completely died 2 weeks prior and I just hadn't gotten around to swapping it out yet. I just laughed."
"My car CDs were stolen in 1998. I’m still pissed."
"Pressing play and record at the same time."
"I don't know why but this one made me feel the saddest. I guess it just snapped me back to a moment when I was bored and had no where I had to be, no where I planned to go. My life's todo list completely empty. Just me and the weird 90's dust that seemed to float around in front of sunny windows."
"Putting tape over the security tab/square so you could record over any tape you had in your collection."
"I had to check for the phone booth that I used the most as a teenager (not in NYC, in the beach town where I spent my summers) and it was still there in the most recent Street View! I'll have to see if it's there now when I go by tomorrow. This was where I checked in with my parents and friends circa 1990 to see what was going on. The arcade was just down the street."
And the White?yellow pages GIFGiphy
"I got a phone book in my mailbox the other day. First one in years. It was about the size of a Goosebumps book."
Well those were the days. Weren't they?
Texas is HUGE!
Literally, it's massive. That might be why the tagline is about everything being big. Oh the metaphors of life.
Next to size is heat. Lord is it hot there.
Those are just a few of the regular Texas deets that often come to mind.
What else do others think of?
Redditor Common-Transition973 wanted to compare notes on everyone's thoughts about the Lonestar state.
"Non Texans , what are your thoughts when you hear 'Texas?'"
I've been to Texas once. Austin. It was cute.
"Literally just the shape of the state itself as seen from a map or something."
All Love Baby
"I’ve been through Texas a few times and the thing that stood out to me was how much people in Texas love talking about how much they love Texas. I had a beer at the Dallas airport when I was waiting for a friends plane and it was a Budweiser bottle but instead of Budweiser the label said Texas on it."
"Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks."Giphy
"I’ve always found New Yorkers to be obnoxious with how much they talk about how much better they are than everyone else, but Texas is actually on another level. So, I guess when I think of Texas, I think of a bunch of people yelling 'I f**kin' love Texas'."
"Barbecue, don’t get me wrong we’ve got it here in the UK but it’s nothing like what I’ve seen from across the pond. Burnt ends, beef ribs, smoked brisket. I’ve only ever seen it on YouTube and I envy those of you who have tasted it."
"Honestly when I went to Texas and tried the bbq, at both that big well known place and a 'mom and pop' place that my airbnb hosts said was the best in the city. It was... Good. Like it was tasty and all, but just they way people talk about it like its some kind of religious experience or that it's just so different and unlike bbq in other countries, but it wasn't. Its still just meat + dry rub + sauce and I've had comparable bbq in London."
"My Texas is essentially one of those m&m characters. I picture him with those big oval eyes and white limbs. The color of this Texas-shaped m&m is 'American flag.' He’s got a cowboy hat, a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, and a perfectly groomed mustache. He’s just walking around in his cowboy boots with his Ak-47 in tow. He vehemently hates the skittles."
"In my native Norwegian the term 'complete Texas' means chaos or out of control."
Algorithmix9Panic Omg GIFGiphy
Texas means so much in so many ways.
"Cadillacs with giant horns on the front driven by old men in white suits with big white cowboy hats and superbly trimmed mustaches."
Spare-Cap-3152season 6 welcome to austin GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
"In my company (in a country on the opposite side of the planet from Texas), 'gone Texas' is a term used to describe a software program that has frozen up to the point where even Task Manager can't abort it. Otherwise we don't think about it very much, except perhaps with mild horror."
"Heavyset white people with guns and large cowboy hats yelling 'DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!'"
"My favorite part of 'Don’t mess with Texas’ is that comes across as this slogan about how tough and bada** Texans are, but in reality it was an effective anti-littering campaign from the department of transportation."
"Man, as a Muslim in a secular country, is always a ride seeing posts about republicans go on about something something shariah law, something something freedom, something Obama... And then two posts later, there's a r/nottheonion post about Texas basically being white Taliban."
"I think of Gilead but with cowboy hats."
Trips89Handmaids Tale No GIF by VideolandGiphy
Well there is still a lot of good in Texas. You just have to dig deep.
Insects play a vital role in Earth's ecosystem.
Without insects, some plants would die and some animals would starve creating a domino effect of global famine.
That being said, June Bugs can crawl back into the pits of Hell from whence they came.
I know I'm not alone in that opinion.
Redditor aconnor105 asked:
"What insect can go straight to Hell?"
"Horseflies. One of those f'kers chased my car for an hour and a half."
"Ah yes, the sadistic combination of a mosquito's diet and gluttony and a fly's energy and speed."
"Their mouthparts are literally two knives with the blades facing outwards, when a horsefly (or deer fly, or moose fly) bites you, they’re literally ripping a hole in your skin and lapping up the blood."
"They are such a**holes. A thrown shoe when they land is surprisingly effective at taking them out."
"Deploy La Chancla!"
"Bed bugs. If you're anything like me just the mention of them makes your skin crawl."
"The bites are bad but the paranoia is worse. Once you get them you will never trust a bed ever again."
"Every unexplained itch will make you think 'F'k, are they back?'."
Japanese Murder Hornets
"Those killer hornet things from Japan."
"Mosquitoes. Every single one."
"Only few select, totally expendable species of mosquitoes feed on humans. We need to just completely exterminate those f**kers!"
"Kill em all, let their mosquito god sort em out."
Vindicated! I'm not the only one who hates these things.
"June Bugs. I hate them so much. They fly right at you and are so loud! And I get embarrassed for screaming my a** off."
- Skeebou and Cupacakezzz
"1000% this. They make sitting outside in the summer in Texas after 8:00pm (when it’s actually cool enough to sit outside) completely unbearable."
"Cockroaches. I want to invent a laser to kill just these f'kers only. They all need to burn to ash."
"In South China we had drain cockroaches that would panic when they got caught in flash torrential rain. They make a beeline for the nearest high ground, which includes you."
"I didn't really believe it at first."
"'Hah, that cockroach looks like he's sprinting towards me. Look, he even changed direction with me. Whoa, hold on a minute mate'."
"He got to my upper chest before I managed to throw him off."
"About 2,000 of them panicked after a minor earthquake, flooding out of the drains and into the nearby shops. Yelps and colourful language followed as shop staff pelted them into the air and onto bikes/cars/pedestrians with brooms."
"Earwigs. Creepy a** bugs with those big a** pincers on their butt."
"And they always come out at night, get in water glasses, mailboxes...nasty things."
\u201cThe hidden, origami-like wings of the common earwig unfold to ten times their folded size, transforming the mostly ground-dwelling insect into a super-efficient flyer [read more: https://t.co/9vtGk5Hr52] [how they served as models: https://t.co/58nfe8WhYQ]\u201d— Massimo (@Massimo) 1658138400
"Fleas. Literally any parasitic insect."
"This is the answer, literally just any parasite. Some actually DO have a reason to exist, but others seem like they were created for the PURPOSE of spreading diseases and pain."
"The Emerald Ash Borer. Has killed three massive trees on my property, and is working its way to killing every ash tree in my part of the country."
- CoffeeAndBrassleafless tree on green grass field under white skyPhoto by Arun Clarke on Unsplash
"Yellow jackets. All that buzzin and no honey..."
There are insects we mostly love—like honeybees, ladybugs or butterflies...Giphy
...but there seem to be a lot more we mostly hate.
Did your insect nemesis make the list?
For the life of me, I can't understand how anyone could still watch The Walking Dead. I just checked and the damn thing has had 11 seasons. 11 seasons!
Can you imagine?
People enjoy watching characters follow a set of train tracks for an entire season I guess. (For context, I made it to the beginning of the seventh season before I threw in the towel, and it was really testing my patience well before then.)
But there's so much more out there that's equally overrated. Television is the least of our problems.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor PieinHorse asked the online community,
"What is very overrated?"
"The perceived security..."
"The perceived security of most jobs."
Replace jobs with locks or doors or windows and it's still true.
"Influencers. I'm not sure what's more ridiculous, the fact someone believes they are an "influencer" or those who actually follow them and are influenced by said influencer."
I scarcely think about them. Out of sight, out of mind.
"Designer brands and bags. After owning an item from each brand, it’s really the most big waste of money people can put their money on."
You do get what you pay for up to a certain point.
"The extra leg room..."
"First Class Airline tickets!"
"We lucked up on our last flight that we had no choice but to get first class and our company paid for it, but I can 100% say that it was NOT worth the extra $700."
"The extra leg room was nice, as I'm 6'7", but the "free cocktails" and additional food? Nah homie, I'm good."
Was this domestic? For those short flights First Class is pretty much not worth it, but for international long haul? A lie-down bed for a 13 hour flight is worth the 2x or more price, plus the other perks.
"Casual sex. I prefer competitive sex."
Evolutionarily speaking, life is about competitive sex...
"Being famous must suck big time. Imagine not being able to go shopping, taking a chill walk in the park, go to the beach, supermartket, etc... without people engaging with you."
Say goodbye to any privacy whatsoever. No thank you.
"Spent my prime years..."
"Alcohol. Spent my prime years drinking at college and all that, still say it’s the most overrated thing in history. So many better drugs that could have prevented long and short term health issues, made things more peaceful, more efficient, more successful, and so on. The fact that it’s globally advertised every millisecond proves it’s overrated."
There's nothing wrong with deciding to stop drinking (or never drinking at all) and people should not be shamed for it.
"Huge weddings. Why? Spend the money on something important or on a trip."
Some people want their best day ever to be a big party with all the people they care about. But there is a crazy level of stress involved in planning a party that size.
"Being an adult."
"Being an adult. What BS is this, and why the hell did we want to be adults when we were kids?"
Nah, being an adult is awesome. I wouldn't change it for the world. Freedom!
"Half of the time."
"Hot weather. Half of the time it is just horrible and you’re sweating in your clothes and the other half you’re at the beach burning alive."
Sorry, I'd rather it be hot than be freezing, but I'm one of those people who can never get warm.
Hey, it could be worse. We could be talking about how much Game of Thrones disappointed us (again) and how it is impossible to watch it now, a total slog, knowing where it ends up. Disappointing and overrated indeed.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!