Procrastination seems to be one of those things that haunts almost everyone. It creeps up on you at the worst times, whether you have that big essay to write, or laundry to do, that just hangs over your head. Some stories are worse than others, and these Redditors can tell you the worst of the worst.
u/Notyourusualbitch asked: What was your worst "s**t I procrastinated for too long" experience?
A gut punch of guilt.
It was my daughters wedding last year. I still feel sick when I think about it. Nothing went too wrong and she was still happy with it but I seriously dropped the ball on getting the decorations ready, the food. For all the planning we had put into it, it was not the glamorous affair it was going to be.
The day of the wedding my brain completely checked out. Only half of what was planned got done. She just celebrated her 1st anniversary and I still can't think about her wedding without getting a gut punch of guilty. I want a do over.
This is a mood.
I had to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. I procrastinated it for 12 hours or more.
I have a front loading washer, it spins really fast. Loads come out requiring much less drying time than my old washer. Downside is that things get really compressed and wrinkled, especially when I leave a load in overnight.
I made the mistake of leaving my down comforter in there overnight before drying it. It compressed most of the down into tiny pills and drying it did not reverse the damage. I've washed this thing many times before but I destroyed it this time.
German is HARD!
Right now. As I'm f**king off on Reddit with a German test I have not started studying for occurring in 3 hours and 18 minutes.
EDIT: for the curious, the test went well. Made a few dumb vocabulary mix-ups, but I would estimate my grade between 84-93.
Did this exact same thing in college. Like to the tee including my procrastination being a German test.
I'm pretty sure the only reason I passed German in college is because it was my minor and all the professors were probably so sick of seeing me year after year so my senior year they just passed me so I could get out of their hair.
Oh well it paid off and I sent my final professor flowers and candy for helping me pass that class and hence graduate college.
Definitely overcompensated.
In like grade 6 or 7 when we were doing a unit on probability in math our teacher decided it would be fun to have us all essentially turn the class into a casino so he had us all design games where we weren't allowed to make it rigged so it was impossible to win but the "house" had to win 60% of the time.
It took me forever to come up with a good idea and when I finally did I realized I had procrastinated way too long and I only had 2 nights to finish this project out of the two weeks we had so I completely over compensated.
My dad's a builder so let's just say at a very young age I knew how to use power tools and there was a lot of wood laying around my house. I designed a car racing game that you'd bet on and there were 5 lanes on a wood track about 8 feet long that slopes downhill. I drilled holes in the lanes at the top and there was a board underneath on a hinge that had nails in it. The nails fit through the holes and when you ripped the lower board the nails would retract and release the cars.
The way I accomplished the 60% house win was I hammered 2 of the 5 nails in a little bit farther than the other 3 so those cars would release slightly earlier. I would also mix up the hot wheels cars each time so people wouldn't quite catch on. I had a couple of sports cars and then some heavier ones like a dump truck and a school bus and so the weight difference between the cars gave the illusion of it being completely random.
On presentation day I quickly realized I had completely over engineered this casino game because most other people had just come up with card tricks or some variation on Plinko or Wheel of Fortune.
Senioritis is REAL.
I studied for my MCAT a few days ago. Not the 3 months recommended, not even 3 weeks, but 3 days before.
There was also a particularly stupid one in high school that cost me. I was in my senior year and deep in senioritis. I slacked off most in my military history class, putting in the bare amount of effort for an easy A. The class had weekly current event papers due. Really simple things, just write a paragraph about some conflict or new piece of tech being revealed in the world. It had the most lenient late policy ever. You could submit stuff months later for credit.
Well I just got super lazy and didn't hand in 3 months worth of current event papers. I waited until the last minute, as grades were being entered and frozen in the system, to sprint out of my gym class, print them at the library and run over to submit them.
And I couldn't. The teacher had locked in grades literal seconds before I opened the door and was getting ready to leave. From an easy A to a D in minutes, when it didn't need to be. Which messed my GPA and put me toward my safety school for college...
If I ever had the chance to redo high school, that'd be on my bucket list.
That's awful.
Not mine, but it still involves me.
My boyfriend was assigned homework at the beginning of the semester in September that was due before Christmas break in December.
He didn't do it despite me reminding him to over the course of those 3 months and instead waited until my birthday (which is December 13th) to cancel my birthday plans and do homework instead. After he promised to make my birthday "the best one ever" (I don't celebrate my birthday because my parents ruined it for me as a kid and eventually didn't allow me to celebrate it any longer, so it's a very tainted day for me).
I hadn't felt that unimportant in a long time.
Don't do it.
I had a very important 12 page paper to write for school. Had to do a lot of research to do for it, think we got like 2 or 3 months to write it. And my dumb a** didn't want to get started until i actually forced myself to.
A WEEK before we had to turn it in. I slept about 20 hours in that whole week (I wrote down how much I slept on a note in my phone somewhere), going two days without any, while having to go to school and I was actually a few minutes late on the day of the deadline because I was printing out the whole thing that morning.
Little bit of advice: Don't be like me.
That's impressive.
Waited till 1.5 hours before the deadline to write an art theory essay for school. Submitted it with 1 minute to spare and went to bed (it was due at midnight that night.)
One week later, I get my grade back:
96%
And this is why I still do art theory as an elective folks.
Oh man.
I've been wanting to apply to this Web Design course for a year. Applications were from May to the end of this month. Procrastinated and applied only in the end of August.
Course has very little spots left now and I may not get in at all. Apparently it was a first come first serve thing. I feel terrible and desperate and I still don't know what I'm gonna do.
Oops.
That one time I had a coding project that I had a month to finish. In the beginning, I was like "there's a month, I can chill a bit this week". And then it was "Three weeks left. That should be enough time. I'll start tomorrow, let's relax today."
And all of a sudden it was only one week left of a month-long project and I hadn't even decided what I was going to code.
The worst kind of surprise.
One time a professor emailed us a pdf about 20 pages to read. I thought cool, I can read that on the bus on the way to class that morning.
I open the pdf, and each 'page' was two pages Xeroxed from a book, front and back of each. So all in all it was 80 pages....
That sucks.
The one that comes to mind was college hunting. I was applying to MIT, which requires recommendations from two or three teachers (I remember two, but w/e) as well as some other things. I gave one to the accounting teacher and one to my math teacher. The accounting teacher finished the recommendation reasonably quickly. The math teacher forgot about it until it was too late. I should have recognized he was a piece of garbage, but I also should have been on him to get it done. Waiting till it was too late to ask another teacher crushed me.
I think despondency about not having a real shot at the school I wanted eventually led to my quitting the school I did get in, and everything that's happened since.
Relatable content.
I decided to leave my last class of my degree for an online summer course. I procrastinated it so bad that I withdrew. So I decided to do it online this spring....procrastinated again and withdrew. I talked to my university and I have taken too many semesters off and will have to apply for the program again.
I have a job I love in my field, but f**k this keeps me up at night sometimes. Just one stupid class and I can't seem to do it.
Now THAT'S talent.
I walked into a second to last class ready to plan my final project. Only to find the project was due right now and I hadn't started. I said I forgot it at home, ran back, and did it while the class was ongoing and managed to still rock a solid B grade.
Amen.
Second year at university. I partied too hard, didn't do any work, left it too late to catch-up. Had to repeat the year.
Then after working for several years, I went back to get a postgrad qualification, procrastinated the written work too long and didn't complete it on time.
Managed to get extensions beyond extensions while working full time but still kept procrastinating.
After a year I eventually had to hold my hands up and admit I hadn't finished the qualification to my employer and had to leave.
That was the worst time of my life.
Depression is a bitch. Imposter syndrome is a b*tch. Perfectionism is a b*tch.
Reddit is one if those internet things that either you totally get, or you absolutely don't.
To some, it's a ridiculous echo chamber of people who live to egg one another on.
To others, it's a supportive community with its own sort of rules, culture, superlatives, and even language.
Whichever camp you fall into, there's some stuff you need to know if you're gonna survive.
Like it truly doesn't matter if you're in the woods to cut it down or to enjoy the splendor - you should still know that bears will eat your face off and they don't necessarily kill you first.
Reddit user ihavethebestmarriage asked:
"What are some reddit rookie mistakes?"
So here's how to avoid getting your proverbial face eaten off by an e-bear on Reddit.
"Reliable Source"
"Thinking consensus on Reddit represents widely accepted views in outside world."
-Wkwkbr453
"I used to secretly make fun of people who quoted Reddit as a credible source before I joined. Now I increasingly find myself starting sentences with, 'I read on Reddit…'."
-Laleena_
"That’s your mistake. You just have to say 'I read that…..' and never mention that your source is a random Reddit comment."
-outofdate70shouse
"Yes. To avoid the shame."
-foxsimile
The Nothing Awards
"Unnecessary award speech edits"
-User Deleted
"Also: following up with a 'what do I do with this gold' question."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-BaconReceptacle
"Also: What do I do with all this karma."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-Zarniwoooop
Advertisements
"My mom joined reddit and was posting in subreddits related to her work."
"She wasn't constantly shilling, but would if the person was in her service area, mention her business explicitly."
"Her username even included her business name in it."
"I had to explain that Reddit wasn't really supposed to be a marketing tool in the same way Twitter or Facebook were."
-deqb
"It is, though, you just have to frame it in a cutesy way so that people can pretend you aren't marketing: "
" 'I just started my business! Here's a cupcake I made!' "
"Predictable redditor or sock puppet account: 'I would buy one of those!! Where are you located??'."
-angrymonkey
"No, it's better to say 'I just found this business, they look like they could really use support'."
"A LOT of those posts are self-advertising, as reddit generally is against that, along with it being against the rules in a lot of subreddits."
"Know someone who used to help smaller businesses do that, basically advertise their stuff pretending to be a 'genuine' person who just happened to discover and post about their stuff."
"Happens a lot more than people think, even on a large scale. Businesses have been hiring actors and people to pretend to like their products for ages now."
-asdaaaaaaaa
Social Standing
"I had no idea my low social status could keep my posts from going live."
" 🥺 That explains a lot"
-Intelligent-Snow-138
"This is to prevent new accounts bots from polluting the place, your karma will rack up quickly as you interact with people, give and get awards, etc."
-Duuuuuuuuuuh
"I just gave you a my gifted silver award… now it’s prompting me to buy more awards."
"I didn’t realize people were paying to give awards and now I went from wondering 'how' to wondering 'why'…"
-BlondeBimbo123456789
A/S/L
"It irritates me to no end when people treat Reddit like it's a 90s forum used by 37 people."
" 'I'm new here, first time poster' "
-UnusualGenePool
"a/s/l ?"
-Tokugawa
"My first reply to a question like that was '14/not yet/home'."
"I was a dumb kid in the 90s."
-jazzmester
"I like to say: I don't really know American Sign Language, but I am trying to learn"
-TheAres1999
In The First Place
"Joining reddit in the first place"
-UselessAndUnlovable
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
-RoboTurbo2
" 'Relax, ' said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive'."
-Glock1Omm
"Exactly. Leaving is the easy part. It's staying away that's tough."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Reddit is like Runescape. You never stop once you start. You just take breaks"
-Merry_Dankmas
Lurk Hard, Play Hard
"LURK MORE."
"Spend some time in a subreddit before commenting."
"Read the rules, read the FAQ, read the top-voted posts. Spend a week and see what topics come up often. Search prior posts which discuss the same topic you want to post about."
-whomp1970
"I browsed comments for like a year before I even made an account."
-Gsusruls
"I wish that I could remember what comment I needed to make so badly that I created an account after more than a year of lurking."
-lotus_eater123
This.
"When you comment 'This.' under someone else’s comment."
"Just give them your upvote and move on, no need to comment if you aren’t adding anything meaningful to the topic"
-Crewso
"underrated comment"
-milesmac
"Louder for the people in the back!"
-the_amazing_lee01
"THIS"
-Demonic321_zse
Believe
"Believing everything you read and at the same time disbelieving everything you read that goes against your personal opinion/narrative."
"Having a healthy dose of skepticism without being a jerk about it is a good life skill in general."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Yup but that’s not just reddit rookies, that’s 80% of the global population."
-mini-mum-wage
"A good habit I’m working to build is whenever I have a question about anything, even if I’m thinking to myself, I google it."
"It helps build a strong knowledge base."
-CobaltHeadHunter
Shh
"Responding to every reply to your AskReddit post."
"Just shhhh"
-ZsaFreigh
"I do this LOL. I like doing it because I asked a question and people have responded, so I respond back because I want them to know that I read it and found what they said interesting."
-mini-mum-wage
"I do it because I have nothing else to do."
-Cheap_Ad_69
"Every comment boosts the likelihood that the post will survive more than an hour."
"Askreddit new is brutal. Unless you get a bunch of comments or karma within 30 minutes or so, your post will die a quiet death."
"Then its really just shh"
-lotus_eater123
And there you have it - a survival manual for the wildest place I'm the universe.
Reddit.
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Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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