
Sometimes life can be painful. Other times it can be absurd. And still other times it can be patently ridiculous. Some situations are all three.
Sometimes things happen over which we have little or no control. And then there are the stories of the choices we've made––or the people we know and the choices they make––†hat cause a bad situation to shift into something else entirely.
After Redditor cromchable asked the online community, "What's your best 'but wait, it gets worse' story?" people chimed in with their experiences. Grab your popcorn.
"An acquaintance got married..."
An acquaintance got married in an extravagant $80,000 ceremony (that's $57,000 in freedom dollars) and broke up on their honeymoon.
But wait, it gets worse.
They split because the groom was cheating on the bride with a string of one night stands, meanwhile the bride was having an ongoing affair with... the best man.
But wait, it gets worse.
They pretended to stay married for 6 months after out of shame but it all came tumbling down when he made a huge facebook rant calling her a whore and tagging all their friends and family in it with the most dramatic s***storm of a comments section known to humanity.
But wait, it gets worse.
The bride and the best man decided they wanted to have a baby and she immediately ran off with him and got knocked up.
"Pulled over to check my trunk..."
Got rear ended by a truck. Pulled over to check my trunk on a hilly street. A car parked behind me rolled down hill and crushed me between it and my newly messed up trunk. Suffered some cracked ribs.
"My grandmother had gotten diagnosed with brain cancer..."
My grandmother died on Thanksgiving day in front of the whole family.
My grandmother had gotten diagnosed with brain cancer about six months prior and knowing that she was in hospice care, much of the family decided to come visit for one last Thanksgiving, even though she was unconscious in the next room. The entire day, the cooking was going on despite grandma's condition and teenage me spent many hours salivating over a whole roasted pig being barbecued outside in place of a turkey. I was pretty stoked. Just as the sizzling pig is being taken off the barbecue, the hospice nurse sticks her head outside and announces that it's time. My grandmother at this exact moment is passing away.
We all go inside, gather around the bed, and for 45 minutes or so, I watch as my grandmother gasps for air, twitches and dies. It was a little traumatic. For some reason after that, we decide we are going to still sit down and eat dinner. I'm watching the barbecue pig be chopped up and as I'm thinking I can probably still get myself to eat some of it, they douse it all in vinegar and chili flakes. Ruining it. So as I try to choke down this enormous disappointment, after watching my grandmother die, the morticians come and wheel her body out through the living roomAnd at that point, I was pretty much done.
"The only good thing that happened..."
I think probably the worst week of my life was getting my wisdom teeth out. I mean I'll take my parents divorce over doing that crap again.
I got my teeth out, and I woke up to being yanked outta my chair by the dentist to go to the recovery room. I immediately started crying cuz I didn't know what was going on. Once there, I had to ask them to go get my mom 3 times because I was calling in and out of sleep and I didn't understand what the nurse was saying.
I get home and my mouth doesn't hurt that bad but I'm still high af and can't swallow because my spit was all bloody and gross. So I literally just cried and drooled on my mom till I passed out again (I'm 21, not a great look).
I woke up and everything was fine for the first two days. But it became abundantly clear that I was allergic to whatever antibiotics they had me on. I threw up for six days, and the dentist wouldn't take me seriously until I started throwing up blood. I couldn't eat solid food, and I have a permanent aversion to chocolate ice cream now (fine going down, not great coming up).
When he finally asked me to come in so he could check me out there was a huge snowstorm and we were stranded for 2 days.
Then, I missed an exam because I couldn't do anything without vomiting, and had to get a doctor's note from the dentist which was a whole other ordeal.
The only good thing that happened was I lost like 10 pounds, which I immediately gained back because 4 weeks later COVID hit. Now I've got this crazy scars in the back of my mouth that I don't think healed properly, and I haven't been able to go back to the dentist because of COVID.
Note to anyone getting their teeth out - the actual process and recovery isn't that bad, just make sure you're not allergic to the medicine they give you.
"Well maybe that contributed to what happened next."
I work at an office. The building is owned by my boss who is too cheap to shell out for actual maintenance service and has employees do handy work around the clock.
One day, it started to snow. The snow was sticking to the sidewalk and showed no signs of letting up so of course me and my coworkers had to go out and clean it. So while my boss sat in his nice, cushy office, we start shoveling. One of my coworkers, let's call him X, is relatively new and having grown up in an apartment complex, has never shoveled before.
Well maybe that contributed to what happened next. He starts pushing the shovel in front of him at a crotch level. And eventually, the shovel head gets stuck on a raised brick and it pushes the handle end of the shovel into X's crotch.
There was no shovel handle because he had been given a broken shovel with a rusted end. Castration being imminent, X proceeds to tuck and roll, off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic. Fortunately for X, somebody grabbed him and pulled him back to safety. Boss drove him to the emergency room and paid for the resulting tetanus shot and 14 stitches on the inner thigh.
Needless to say, he was not allowed to shovel again.
"A valet parker took a guest's Corvette..."
I was a manager at a hotel in Oakland. A valet parker took a guest's corvette out for a joy ride. He lost control of the car in a residential area and crashed into a parked car in a driveway. The corvette and the parked car smashed through the home's garage door and caught on fire. The home partially burned down. The valet was caught by the police a block away fleeing on foot with a broken leg.
"I went on holiday with my parents to Ireland..."
I went on holiday with my parents to Ireland a few years back and one of the days of the trip was one of the worst days of my life. The trip as a whole was fantastic but this one day just sucked.
My parents had booked all the hotels through a travel agency and the night that we were in Cork, we were booked to stay in this spa resort because we got a good deal or something.
At first when we pull up it looked super fancy, you know like a typical resort. But then we find out then we're not actually staying in the main building and they bring us out to these little cottages. Okay fine. But then we get in and the entire place smells like sewer and there's a million stains everywhere. We're like whatever at first, we're not that picky and it's only a night.
The next morning I wake up to find out that my period has started so that's already a bad start to a day.
Then I find out that the shower doesn't work and we all have to take baths. My parents go first and then it's my turn and we run out of hot water. So I have to take a bath in puddle from what's left in cold water.
But wait...it gets worse
We then decide that we're gonna buy tickets for one of those hop on hop off tour buses. We buy the tickets and we get on the bus and it's good at first. We're seeing the sights, it's pretty, whatever. But then, the bus suddenly gets on the freaking highway and we're sitting on the open top as branches are wizzing by over our heads fast enough that it could decapitate you if we weren't ducking.
We find out from the other passengers that this tour bus wasn't a tour bus but instead a bus taking people back to their cruise ship 40 minutes away.
So we have to sit on the open top of a double decker bus on the highway with branches almost hitting us for 40 min all well I'm terrified that I'm gonna leak through my pants because I'm on my period.
We eventually get to the cruise ship and we find out there's a train station near by. So we go the train station to get a train back to cork but the last one just left. So we had to wait an hour or so until the next one came.
Don't really remember what happened after that. It's funny now to look back on but I was pissed when it was happening.
Moral of the story is to not let travel agents book your hotels and to double check the bus you're getting on.
I highly recommend Ireland though, beautiful place!
"I was staying the night..."
My partner's mother told me they didn't like me, and said I was abusive the first time we had ever met. This was after chewing my partner out for not telling her I was staying over.
This was about two weeks after I fled my house and was essentially homeless due to a violent encounter with my family. I was staying the night at my partner's house because it was my birthday, and they wanted to spend the whole day with me, but didnt have a drivers license (we lived around 3 hours apart by car). My partner's mother even decided to bring up my situation within the conversation, saying me not having a home was the only reason she didnt kick me out that moment.
"I'm no longer allowed to sit with that friend group."
I can confirm it gets worse multiple times.
Two crushes last year. Lets start off with number one, Johan, he was someone in my friend group. Major crush on him, and asked him out. He said he'd think about it. One week I had enough. I asked him. He said he wasn't ready. That was fine with me. It was upsetting, of course. He had a girlfriend, someone he had known for two weeks, two days after the rejection.
But wait, it gets worse.
I'm no longer allowed to sit with that friend group. He spoke about me behind my back, friend group made fun of me, if I sat with them they'd ignore me. I was never my own person to begin, but the entire school knew me as the kid who had a crush on the nerd.
But wait, it gets worse.
I mentioned two crushes, right? Second was a girl, Holly. She was the only person I felt actually cared, and she was a sweetheart. I liked her way more than Johan. She knew I had a crush, but she didn't know it was her. She persisted until I gave up and told her it was her. She said the same, wasn't ready, and it hurt much more. But like any sane person, I didn't argue.
But wait, it gets worse.
A week later. "FAITH I HAVE A GIRLFRIE- oh" It was bad that time. Cried for almost five hours straight, no fun when it happens twice.
Guys, gals, non binaries, anything. If you're going to reject somebody, be honest on why. It hurts.
"I had a coworker..."
I had a coworker that would go off on rages. If I saw him pick his phone up during break, I knew to lock myself in the pantry because of his anger issues. He'd get into huge fights with his pretend catfish girlfriend, and throw and slam things and yell at the top of his lungs.
One year, he got so much worse. He acted like a child and would throw tantrums.. Locking himself in the dishroom and calling our boss to make up lies about me, how I was being 'cruel' and 'mean' to him when I politely asked him to go get the milk because the milk he was supposed to throw out yesterday was soured and could not be served.
We had to tell him to go pick up the shipment constantly, and when it came to lunch rush, he threw the biggest tantrum I have ever seen and threatened to put me, my coworkers and the children we were feeding in the hospital. He also shared a story about being accused of being a pedophile, and how he proved it wasn't him with sketchy explanations and vague details.
My boss at the time said she hied him to stay in the kitchen so he wouldn't be around the children.
Well, I report the threat to my boss, and between her and my coworker's friend who happened to be one of the bosses, decided that I was the one to be fired.
People are stupid.
"My dental experiences."
My dental experiences. Not as bad as most stories here but not a fun time.
Start of high school. My teeth have always been crooked. Between both my parents' insurance they have 100% dental coverage, so, braces, let's go!
But wait, my mouth is too small to fit the normal human amount of teeth. Before any work can be done, 4 molars must be removed from my mouth. Surgery is done all in one go so I get knocked out and am unable to eat solid food for weeks, but also can't use a straw because the suction could reopen the holes. Fine, shortly after, recovery complete, braces let's go!
But wait, even after removing 4 teeth the rest are still too close together for braces to work properly. I have to get rubber bands inserted between my teeth to forcibly spread them apart over a period of weeks so there's enough room for the braces to do their job. This is extremely painful, imagine someone constantly pulling on your teeth with pliers for weeks to move them. Fine, that's done, braces let's go!
But wait, for similar lack of space reasons, braces take longer to work than usual and need constant adjustment. I have to wear them for FOUR YEARS aka ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL. Fine, I get them off before grad, and I'll be free of dental stuff for university, except for having to wear a mouth guard overnight for the rest of my life to make sure my teeth don't shift back again.
BUT WAIT, I start experiencing dental pain. Side effects from braces? Nope. Impacted wisdom teeth have completely dissolved the roots of my molars and are pressing directly on the nerves. Molars are already dead well beyond saving, so if they're not pulled immediately, they could shatter at any moment and leave the nerves exposed. Four more teeth pulled, wisdom teeth get to stay, in the hope they'll eventually straighten out with more space available.
They never did so on my lower jaw I have only one molar on each side I can use for chewing, and overall 8 fewer teeth than the average human.
"The NICU sent us a letter..."
Our baby died 6 weeks ago.....but wait, it gets worse! The NICU sent us a letter congratulating us on the birth of our new baby when they literally had her in their morgue.
"She calls a meeting with him..."
Friend of mine was to be the groom. The night before the wedding, his fiancé found out that he had been cheating on her for a long time. She calls a meeting with him, their parents, his sister and her brother. She confronts him about it at this meeting, and he admits it. She decides she will not marry him the next day, or ever.
But wait it gets worse. During that meeting they all have to decide what to do about the next day and what the story should be about why the wedding is off. Many friends and family have traveled a long way to be there, the vendors are all paid, and they don't want to just send everyone home. And while the bride and her family are obviously furious, they're not vengeful people and they feel that they would be as embarrassed by the truth as the groom and his family would be. So they all mutually agree that they don't want to tell everyone the truth.
Incredibly, they decide to go through with the whole wedding... except it's a sham. Only the eight of them know it. The next day they have the ceremony, they say the vows in front of everyone, they kiss... but it's all a lie to the rest of their friends and family. They don't actually sign whatever marriage certificates and other things you have to do offstage in order to legally get married. They then go through with the reception too, pretending to have a great time. The parents even do their toasts. Nobody else has any idea.
I'm not sure how they expected to keep this a secret afterwards. Probably they didn't, they just felt it was their best option in the short term of that day. I found out about a month later and it just blew my mind how they were able to pretend like that all night.
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All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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