People Share Their Best "This Isn't What It Looks Like" Moment
The "it's not what it looks like" moment is a favorite movie trope for a reason. It happens - a lot. When it does, it can be one of the most embarrassing and hard to explain moments in a person's life. Take it from me. I got myself grounded from Mortal Kombat because I attempted to Sonya Blade somebody and ended up power-slamming their face into my crotch - just as my minister parents walked in the room.
That was more than half of my life ago and they still don't believe that there wasn't anything sexual going on and that Mortal Kombat is not, in fact, a video game full of sexual atrocities. It's ridiculously violent - and awesome - but it's nowhere near the mess they think it is and their minds will never be changed because of what they think they saw.
One Reddit user asked:
What's your biggest "This isn't what it looks like" moment?
And now that I've read the responses, I feel better. I mean, it could be worse. I could be the banana panties guy. Here are some of my favorite moments, edited for language and clarity if needed. Have fun with all this secondhand cringe! Lord knows I did.
I used to take my kids to different playgrounds as they were growing up. Often times I'd be out there with them, chasing them, being the random monster/dragon/antagonist while they run away and then eventually turn around and chase me back. Inevitably since the rest of the parents were on their iPhones or doing anything but interacting with their kids, I'd end up with a collection who wanted to join in the fun.
It was all going well until they said they wanted to play "Minecraft"
So as a group of kids suddenly scatter from where I am standing yelling "Ah! Run away from the Creeper! Ahhh!" I look up to see a line of parents suddenly jostled back into consciousness with absolutely no friggin context whatsoever.
Consensual Hand Drying
It was my third day at my new office job. When I washed my hands my pants touched the counter top which was covered with water. Naturally I now look like I pissed myself and had a giant 6 by 6 soaked area around my crotch. I couldnt walk around with that so I thought to use the hand dryer. However, the hand dryer was the type that you stick your hands in rather under. So I line up and basically mount this hand dryer. I look at myself in the mirror and as I start thinking "this wont look good if..." and of course the CIO walks in before I could finish the thought and react. He looks at me and in deadpan voice says: "Do I need to call HR?"
to which I responded: "No, its consensual."
We had a good laugh about it and he never let me forget that moment!
I was 16 and my parents just left the house for a dinner out. I had to do laundry so I start right after they left the door to get it done as early as possible.
As I'm filling the machine I notice a stain on my shirt and so I put it with the rest of the clothes. I also look at my pants and decide to add them as well along with my socks and...fuck it my underwear as well.
So I'm butt naked and I start the machine. I rush to the stairs to get to my room and dress up and that's when the front door (which is right where the stairs are) opens and I freeze.
My dad comes in and sees me naked. We both arent moving a few second and then he laughs, grabs his wallet on the table and says : "So THAT'S what you are doing while we aren't here?". He then closes the door while giggling.
I'm there still in shock and red as a beet. I rush to dress and call my parents on my mother's cellphone to tell them it's not what they think as they are just laughing their butts off.
I used to work security/reception at my company, so I greeted everyone when they came in the door and made sure they were wearing their security badge. You could either wear your badge on a lanyard around your neck or on a retractable belt clip.
So I've been doing this job for like 2 years when I'm outside talking to some of the girls that work on the 2nd floor. One of them just flat out asks why I always check out women when they come in to visit.
Turns out, there was a lot of talk about how I was "looking women up and down" when they came through the door. Well, I was looking everyone up and down. I would look at their chest first and if there was no badge there, my eyes would move to their belt. It was kind of my job and stuff.
I will preface this by saying a couple of weeks prior to this, my wife had bought some frilly underwear on clearance sale, and a couple of bananas to eat on the way to work. I was chilling in the car at the store while she went in when I smelled nasty over-ripe bananas. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the bag that had been forgotten back there. I take the underwear out of the bag and tie the old banana up dog poo style. No big deal, right?
For whatever reason, my brain goes I wonder if these brand new underwear now reek of old squishy banana? and I put them to my nose and take a big whiff- right as a sweet old lady pulls into the parking spot in front of our car. She looks at me, panties pressed into my nose inhaling deeply, her eyes go wide with shock, and visibly shaking, she pulls back out of the spot and drives away. Literally leaves. Shopping trip cancelled.
Holding A Bat, Whispering About Murder
My boyfriend and I had a fight and both went to bed grumpily (we were housemates and had separate bedrooms). In the middle of the night I heard a LOUD thump in the living room area of the house. I grabbed my baseball bat and went through the whole house with the bat and the lights on. Every closet, every cupboard, etc. Nothing was out of order and the doors were locked. I was still spooked and running high on adrenaline.
It was about 4:30 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 so I just gave up on going back to sleep before that. I debated what to do for the hour and a half and decided to go to IHOP since it's open 24h where I live. As I was about to leave I realized that if I left my sleeping boyfriend in the house and the murderer WAS actually still there and killed him I would feel extremely guilty. So I went to wake him up just enough to warn him before I left for IHOP.
He woke up to me leaning over his bed, holding a bat, and whispering about murder. He almost cried.
Following Her Home
I was driving back home from a friend's house at around 1AM. This car cut me off on the on ramp, and I honked at them. I then turned back up the music, and pretty much drove home on autopilot, but when I got off the freeway at my exit, I realized that the same car that cut me off was in front of me. After that, I got kind of curious, because it had been about 30 minutes since the incident, and we'd changed freeways twice already. I then got a little bit worried that they'd think I was following them home, but I didn't think too much of it--until the car started going up the same side streets I did.
Eventually, I realized that my 16-year old neighbor who just learned how to drive cut me off, and she and her friends were probably now petrified that some lunatic was following them home. I guess she'd called her parents in the meantime because she pulled into her driveway and the house lights were all lit up, and her dad (a huge guy) was standing outside with a baseball bat. I then pulled into my own garage and apologized for scaring them and it was all chill after that.
Everything was all good afterwards—we all laughed it off.
Butt Dial And Speakerphone
My boyfriend and I were jumping on the trampoline together years ago, just bouncing around like a couple of kids, laughing our butts off. It was fun! He accidentally butt dialed his parents, who speakerphoned our laughing, creaking springs, and gasping to a car load of people. They were all mortified. We were able to set it straight later, but OOF.
Sorry mom and dad.
This is one of my moms absolute favorite stories to tell:
My partner and I were in a kind of long distance relationship at this point (high schoolers living 40mins apart) and they would occasionally drive up after school to come see me
On this particular day my mom came home from work and was concerned with the lack of sound.
I hear her calling my name as she comes closer, she eventually gets to my closed bedroom door not wanting to see what I'm sure every parent would expect by this point
She swings it open and finds my partner and I...
...putting together our brand new Millennium Falcon (full size for action figures) that we had just purchased from Toys R us
My dog kept stepping on the pieces and messing things up in his dopiness so we closed the door
After that she never worried about us being alone.
Honestly think this might be the moment where my mom decided she wanted to adopt my partner.
Sometimes, I'm not sure who she loves more.
Btw - My partner and I got married this year and we still have that Millennium Falcon.
I, a male, am in a dive bar in college that had black lights above the bar for whatever reason. I'm buying a girl a drink and when I go to pull my wallet out, see that the black light has highlighted a significant outline of white liquid around the webbing of my hand between my thumb and index finger. Right when I'm laughing about "what that probably looks like", she informs me it's all around my mouth too. Apparently the peroxide in baking soda toothpaste leaves an otherwise invisible trace that comes out under blacklight.
"For Catching Children..."
I had a pile of stuff in the trunk of my car, including a golf club. The club got tangled in the elastic netting that came with the car and with the way everything was jumbled up, it looked like an enormous butterfly net.
So after a Scouts meeting, I'm standing outside with my son when he looks in the back of the car and shouts:
"Why do you have a big net in the boot of your car? Is it for catching children?"
The other adults stared. Erm...
David - But Not THAT David
Hanging out at home with hubby. It's important to note that hubby is only the 2nd person I have dated. The first was a man named David who was incredibly abusive. My husband knows the story, it's ugly. David's name is not one we speak pleasantly around here.
Anyway, I asked my husband to "throw me a plum". He thought he'd be funny and literally throw it. It was the last one and still in the produce bag. He spun the bag around a few spins like he was picking up momentum to really pelt me. Bag split, plum shot off at a random angle and smashed on the ceiling! We were laughing hysterically. Until!!! It came into my head that this small projectile in a sheath was somewhat like the slingshot they show David using to slay Goliath. So I blurt "Nice shot, David!"
Hubs didn't catch the biblical slingshot reference and thought I accidentally called him my ex's name. I eventually convinced him it was a biblical reference, but that being the only time in my whole life I've ever made one (lifelong atheist who finds the mere thought of religion depressing) it did not seem like a likely story.
Sorry, Sunshine! It really, honestly WAS just a biblical reference.
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my gay male friend at his house after school. He had one of those sugar gliders for a pet. They are really fast. We were holding her and she randomly jumps out of my friend's hands, falls on the floor, runs toward me, and crawls up my leg under my skirt.
Without thinking my friend sticks his hands up my skirt to grab her. I wasn't offended, I wanted the squirrel off my butt. At that exact second his mom walks in the room while my friend has his hand up my skirt. Though my friend was gay, he was not out of the closet out the time.
Dog Food Face
My little brother had to be around 10 at the time. I was in the process of making chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen while my family was in the dining room.(kitchen and dinning room were connected) Anyway, while I was baking my little sister (7) at the time went to feed the dog. My brother being the chocolate fiend he is, thought my little sister brought chocolate chips to the dining table. He got so exited and knocked the dog food cup out of her hand, and it went everywhere on the floor. Without a second to spare he flew to the ground shoveling it in his face. Nope. Not chocolate.
To this day, the look of pure betrayal and horror in his face makes me laugh.
A Pill Gun
So, my coworker(we will call him G), and I were talking about his cat.
(For those wondering G is a male and I'm a female.)
His cat was refusing to take some pills that she needed after a procedure. I asked G if he tried to hide the pills in her food bowl or a treat. He said it didn't work. He then told me what did work...
"I have to put it in her mouth and force her to swallow it by massaging her throat."
Of course he said it right as another co-worker was walking into the room. The moment those words were spoken the other coworker didn't say a word - he just turned around and left the room. Leaving G blushing and me laughing really hard. We had to explain to the guy what we were actually talking about.
The other coworker said "OH! Thank God..." and then he recommended a pill gun to solve the issue.
Awkward yet hilarious.
Lincoln Said ItGiphy
One time in school I had to give a speech to present the pro-confederate flag side, and I was making a point about how the conflict in the Civil War wasn't as simple as the Union trying to get rid of slavery. So I started to read off the Abraham Lincoln quotes supporting slavery and how "I do not want to make jurors or voters of Negroes".
But just before I started reading the quote, the vice-principal walked in to monitor the class. He's black.
So I kind of panicked and had to immediately follow the quote with (a redundant) "as said by Abraham Lincoln, which is what he believed at the time, and is totally not what I or anyone today believes, but was just from a different time."
(Fortunately, he addressed the class and had nice things to say about my speech.)
Did I Confess?
When I was a kid (7? 8?), I was walking home from school and the button on my jeans straight up just popped open. Not sure how that happened. I was trying to fix it, when this older lady walked by. She said something to me, but I was so focused on fixing my pants that I didn't hear what she said. I responded with the generic "yeah" thing.
Then I realized she wasn't look at me, she was looking at the wall behind me. I glanced back, and realized that someone (a dog?) had peed on the wall. I just ran away, taking a long way around to get home, because she very possibly asked me if I had peed on the wall, and I told her yes.
"Hide Your Stuff!"
When my niece was 5 I took her to the movies and we snuck in candy and snacks. I played around with her to make her feel like it was some secret operation and we had fun smuggling it into the theater. We made it a game.The employees at the theater had black uniforms, and I told my niece if you see the people dressed in black hide the candy or we'll be kicked out. Movie starts and I forget all about it.
Then an employee walks into the theater in the middle of the movie. My niece sees him and yells (because of course she can't say this quietly):
"Uncle! A black man! Hide your stuff!"
I just sank into my chair praying the movie would end soon.
My family moved to America when i was around 12 and bought a business we still run. A few years later I started helping out with the business after school. One day dad was telling me how there is this lady that walks by every day who from behind looks exactly like my grandma, whom we dearly missed since we had not been able to go back home.
A few days later I'm working in the back and i hear dad calling me, so i run out and he's pointing out the lady to me who really does look exactly like grandma. I thought nothing of it until we both walked back in and everyone was giving us weird looks. Then i realized to everyone else it looked like dad called his teenage son to come check out the ass of a septuagenarian.
When I was in high school, I accidentally spilled a bottle of grandma's pills, as I tried to put them back into the bottle my mother just walked into the kitchen to see my hand full of pills and my other hand holding the bottle. While she stared at me with wide eyes all I could say was "this isn't what it looks like" because she probably thought I was going to drug myself with them.
IBS And Maintenance
I was in dorms for work at a remote mine. The rooms were set up with one bathroom between every two bedrooms. They kindly tried to put a night shifter with a day shifter so your neighbor would be gone while you slept, nice and quiet.
So there's me and my IBS doing what we do as I get ready for work one evening. Somehow the damn toilet got clogged with a bunch of diarrhea in it. I had work very soon, and my bathroom-buddy was probably just getting off the bus to come "home". Time was of the essence.
I checked everywhere for a plunger, well, only options were the laundry room, and flag a cleaner down to ask them to check their locked storage room. No plunger. I phone maintenance with maybe ten minutes to get across the compound to my bus... they tell me they don't loan plungers, clogs must be dealt with by maintenance staff only. UGH!!! And of course that person was on break for another half hour.
I ended up needing to leave for work. My efforts to fix the situation had taken up all my time and I didn't even get a minute to leave an apology note.
So she thought I left things like that as a prank or something. I came home to a note raging at me for being "sick and twisted" and it was not funny to do that to her and she'd been tired from a long shift, so cruel of me yadda yadda yadda.
I left her a note back explaining it was not cruelty by me just by fate, she understood and retracted her rage, I apologized again and again.
The reason I didn't have to kill myself is that the schedule and dorm layout meant we never actually laid eyes on each other. She never knew my name, face or even voice. THANK GOODNESS!
Not An Affair
I spend a lot of time with a man who lost his wife. I am married., my husband travels for work. He and I all over social media together. He's very good looking. He is also in a relationship with a man now. People ask questions, but that is his story to tell.
Getting Explicit With Auntie
I was about 12 years old and went to see my auntie with my mom. As we pull up outside her house, she is outside in the driveway. I see her, and me being a cool hip kid but a peace sign up- but by my mouth and at the same time stuck my tongue out- making a very explicit gesture that innocent little me had no idea about. I can still remember the look on her face...
How about the time I looked like I was beating up a 9 year old when I was 14 at camp?
We'd had some night game, like night tag or hide and seek or something and our cabin of 6-7 campers in the 9-14 age range were hopped up on sugar treats and excited. One of the smaller campers crawled into his sleeping bag quickly and what started as verbally teasing him turning into a tickling and poking contest making him squirm and infectious laughter got to all of us.
I was one of the tallest and the oldest kid in the cabin and grabbed a broom we used to sweep the floor and poked him with that too. Winds up I poked him in the throat and he was freaking out and started crying right as the cabin counselor guy showed up. Dude walked into a cabin of laughing kids with the smallest one in his sleeping bag gagging and freaking out. He flipped out on me, screaming about hurting the kids.
Gramps And The BongGiphy
Out on a hunting trip, two friends hopped in their truck to smoke weed out of a bong. They were trying to be discreet by smoking the bong in the middle seat. Little did they know, One friend's grandpa was watching suspiciously from afar.
When they went inside, a conversation began and culminated with grandpa's, "You can't tell me you weren't blowin' him!" He saw one friends head go back (to let out smoke), while the other friend ripped the bong.
They tried to explain, and he may have believed them, telling them they were smoking the devil's lettuce so that must have been why it looked that way.
I still love to pull out the "You can't tell me you weren't blowing him" in grandpa's voice as a reminder. RIP gramps.
Exactly What It Looks Like
When I was about 15 or 16 or so, I saw one of those things that was like, "The distance between the tip of your pinkie and thumb is the same as..." So I got a ruler and measured, and sure enough whatever it was happened to be correct. Regardless, leaving the ruler at the computer for your mom to notice was somewhat of a bad idea.
Watching Requiem for a Dream alone in my room. Dad walks in an sees the "ass to ass" scene on my monitor. He just walks out. I felt so powerless. One of the most powerful, terrible, and sad moments in cinema is then interpreted by my dad as me watching porn.
At a family wedding and I take my little nephew was who around 4 years old to the toilet.
He finishes and then has trouble getting his zipper back up.
Cue my father-in-law walking in on us, with me on my knees tugging at my nephew's zipper as he is crying his eyes out!
Thanks, Terror Squad
This was mid 2000s back in high school. Lean back by the Terror Squad was hot and everyone got into it and always leaned back to some degree when the chorus came on.
I was with two of my boys and one of them has the song playing from his phone with his hand curved around the speaker of the phone to make it sound louder. We got really into it and so as we're walking in the hallway, we hold each others shoulders and take a step back every time Fat Joe says 'now lean back'. Halfway through getting passed the longest corridor in the building, one of us looks behind and what followed was one the most awkward experiences in my life. Walking right behind us, or should i say limping, was the Economics teacher, let's call him Mr. Rabbi. Mr. Rabbi had one foot shorter than the other and as a result, a limp in his walk, identical to our lean back dance move.
We sped walk the rest of the corridor and booked it to the nearest exit as soon as we turned the corner.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRobShawn Spencer What GIFGiphy
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- RadkeyooAmy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamiait crowd chris odowd GIFGiphy
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcanMothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphy
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwohomer simpson love GIFGiphy
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.
As an editor, I am not just in charge of proofreading and correcting style and format. I am also in charge of making sure all the contact information provided, such as phone numbers and emails, work.
After working for 10 hours straight a few months ago, I forgot to check the phone numbers and let a brochure go to publication with a phone number that did not work.
Luckily, a similar mistake had actually happened before with another editor for another client a year prior, so contact info on print materials like this brochure were checked by every department rather than just editorial, and the mistake was caught.
Since I didn't know this, when I heard the phone number was wrong, my heart dropped to my stomach and I thought I was sure fired. Luckily, I was just told to make sure this never happens again. I was relived that there was no fallout, but when I first heard what happened, my only thought was. 'I totally f**ked up!'
Redditors are no strangers to this feeling, as they've made egregious mistakes themselves. They are only too eager to share their experiences.
It all started when Redditor Puzzled_Assistant_ asked:
"What was your "I f**ked up" moment?"
"I managed to destroy a $4k piece of test equipment by connecting the wrong leads. For the briefest of moments the screen showed an overvoltage warning... That's when I knew."
Let's Write It Off
"If it makes you feel better my husband bought a bit of software to test and forgot to cancel it. A year later and 70k he had to fess up to his boss. Luckily his boss said don't worry I'll spin it as efficiency savings..."
"He is usually a massive d*ck so I can only presume it saved his a*se too. There was a lot of anxiety in my house when my husband realises so very grateful for how it turned out."
"I threw away a cashier's check for $50,000. I didn't think it would be a big deal, didn't understand the difference between a cashier's check and a regular check. We had thrown the trash in the dumpster at work, so my dad and I went down around midnight and tore open all the garbage bags in the dumpster before we found it."
Five Second Rule?
"I worked in a commercial kitchen. I had just finished making and plating hundreds of deviled eggs. As I moved them into the walk -in, the cart wheels caught on the lip and sent ALL OF THEM straight on the floor."
"Edit. Forgot to mention, this was the first day with the new head chef"
"I was carrying a huge tray of Mac and cheese for dinner for 62 people (besides some salad the only dinner) and spilled all of it on the floor with everyone waiting in line watching me, plates in their hand waiting for food to arrive."
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
"Used to downhill skate pretty regularly, took my time and had some safe spots away from traffic. Took a tumble once and popped up on my feet but my right leg crumbled. Looked down and my right foot was doinked 90⁰ to the left. "I done f**ked up" was running through my head 100x every second for weeks"
"Almost happened to me, no helmet and smacked the pavement. Broke my skull but miraculously survived, 4 days bleeding out my ear in the hospital, 6 weeks of triple vision, years of recovery but I have very few ongoing issues. That was my “I f**ked up” moment, boy did I get lucky"
"Edit: since I’ve had several questions about the triple vision I’ll elaborate. I don’t understand why or how it worked but I was seeing 3 of everything. Neurologists told me my eyesight could go back to normal in a couple weeks, months, or maybe even a year. They said after a year if it hadn’t gone back to normal then it would most likely be permanent. It was lucky this happened when I was 19 because my brain was still developing so it was able to create new connections. If it had happened 10 years later then the damage certainly would have been permanent"
"My first marriage. First day of the honeymoon. We are at a nice sightseeing spot. I take a photo of him in front of a memorial. After taking the photo, I say: “Oh, I think I cut of your feet in that shot.” He throws a total fit about it. That’s when I realized, I f**ked up marrying him."
"I stuck it out eight years with him. I don’t take my promises lightly, so I tried to make things work one way or another. Eventually, I realized that ‘till death do us part’ could be some fifty or sixty years more of this and I filed for divorce. One of the better decisions in my life."
Take As Instructed
"I was a lead in a play for a theatre company, came down with an intense cough, decided to see a doctor, they prescribed me a cough suppressant, I figured if the recommended dose worked then more than the recommended dose would work even better. Drank half a bottle of DXM syrup two hours before going on stage and accidentally had an out of body experience in front of a full house. I was young, naive and very high. Director wasn’t too happy about it."
Follow The Recipe
"Let's go back to my first kitchen job. I was a prep cook for a bakery / coffee shop. One morning, I was making cinnamon rolls and following the recipe, or so I thought."
"I pull my first batch of 30 out of the oven, and the owner comes by for a taste. She takes one bite, spits it out? And asks me what my process was. I told her I doubled the recipe as she requested, so you know 14 TBSP of cinnamon. Problem!!!! That number I thought was a 7, was in fact a 1."
"This is only tangentially similar but when I was in like 8th grade I tried to treat my parents by making meatloaf. We were eating and they said it tasted weird and asked what I put in it. I listed off the ingredients including garlic, and they asked where I got the garlic. Well, from the shelf at the bottom of the pantry of course!"
"It was not garlic. It was tulip bulbs."
"That was the day I learned tulip bulbs can be poisonous if consumed 😀 we were all okay tho. Just me being a silly goose."
Time To Get Rid Of It
"I decided to scrape out old, stale brownies that had hardened to the pan with a knife."
"The thought flicked through my mind a fraction of a second before the knife slipped out of the pan and plunged into the center of my palm."
"Side note: after that, the knife was always darker where it had been inside my hand. Anyone know why?"
"Another side note: 5 years later, guy broke in my house and tried to kill me with that very same knife!"
"This was quite the rollercoaster read"
"This is like final destination! Get rid of that knife!!!"
"He escaped with it, so it’s no longer my burden to bear."
"I f**ked up. I locked myself in an empty jail."
"I was reviewing a jobsite at 5pm on a Friday, and I was the last guy there. My cell phone had just ran out of battery. It was a new county courthouse in the USA and it was nearly complete. I was checking door functionality, mechanical function only. The whole building had electric security on each door but it was turned off. I had a master keycard and an actual door key to override the door locks, just incase. At one point I mindlessly walked into a side chamber of the main courtroom. I realize it’s the detainee lobby. As I turn back I hear the door click shut. I tried the electric keycard that I had. It didn’t work because no electric 😤. I tried the regular key that I had, and the lock didn’t work properly. I tried again. Nothing. And again, nothing. And again a few more times. It still doesn’t work."
"I bang on the door and shout for help for a few minutes. It’s useless, no one’s there. I try the door lock a few more times. It doesn’t work. There is approximately 62 hours until anyone was supposed to be at the jobsite again."
"I f**ked up."
"I didn’t want to but I ended up kicking the door and after a few minutes it broke. It broke around the lock with the lock staying connected to the frame, 😆. Everyone laughed at me on Monday."
"Edit: the door between the detainee lobby and the courtroom was a heavy solid wood door and not as secure as the detainee cell doors. That’s because the policy was always to have a sheriff with the detainee when in that room."
"Step 1: go make lemonade in the 5 liter tank, it was summer and there were 6 of us in the house so we needed it"
"Step 2: the sugar and the salt are in two identical containers"
"Step 3: regret existing"
Such a simple (and rather common) mistake, but still one the most horrible!
With the world's finances the way they are, it's a miracle if people can save their spare change.
Inflation has a stronghold on too many people.
Sometimes it feels like just breathing can cost you money.
It's hard to make and absurdly easy to lose.
So be vigilant with your wallet.
And try to spend on certain things in moderation.
Going out for meals three times a day adds up.
Even with Wendy's value menu.
Redditor gejiw94601 wanted to compare notes on how money can slip away so easily, so they asked:
"What's the biggest waste of money?"
Money is so easy to lose.
Just ask my best friend... vodka.
WHY?!Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy
"Donating to rich Twitch streamers. I’ll probably never understand why people do it."
"I remember watching one guy drop $60k to Ninja. I was making 30k a year at the time, this guy drop double my salary in one stream."
"Credit Card interest."
"When I first go a credit card I used it only when I was short on cash, but it ended up me throwing money at stupid things because I knew I had a credit card to fall back on if I needed it."
"Now I use my card for the points, and I pay it off about every two weeks. While I'm still not great at adulting, at least I figured out this part."
What about Florida?
"The $50 scratch-off lottery tickets you can buy in Iowa."
"I used to work for the VA lottery. I got to see the numbers, the payout was only about 20% (if that) of profit for scratch-offs. Slightly higher for the draw games. But print-n-play was almost 1-1 for payout vs profit. Don't know how it is now or how other state's payout margins are, but print-n-play is where it's at if you're gonna play anything."
Always Upgradeadopt for sale GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Buying cheap crap you have to replace."
"My dad once told me to not spend excessive money on tools at first. Buy them for dirt cheap, and learn which tools you really need. And when they break: replace them with quality ones. Buying pro-grade stuff you don't need is wasted money."
Spending a little extra can go a long way.
Cheap doesn't often equal quality.
FlexCostume Clothes GIF by Big Brother AustraliaGiphy
"Buying ridiculously expensive clothes to flex."
"Clothes are a two-way issue. Good clothes last a long time and the price is worth it for the comfort on top of that. But some clothes are 100x the price and 1/10th the quality. So there is a fine line here."
Pay to Lose
"Pay to win games."
"I played a lot of mobile games with in-game currencies. I have never spent a cent on these games. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars if I can enjoy the game and learn how to play even if it's slow? And many items don't even help you at the game. It's just skins or titles that only show other players how stupid you were to pay for a free app."
"Gold Food, or more accurately food that is covered in something called gold leaf. In my eyes, food is worth buying if they provide a great amount of nutrition for considerably good prices. After all, you probably avoid paying 50 million dollars just to buy a few molecules that are useless to your health and needs."
"And then there's gold leaf food, sure the food looks fancy but at the cost of a ludicrous amount of money! And with the gold having no usable nutrients at all, it is just not worth it to buy such expensive food for a relatively small amount of nutrients."
"For instance, Industry Kitchen (hopefully that's the name of the place) in NYC serves a pizza with a gold leaf covering for a whopping price of $2000. While at my home country which is Indonesia, Domino's serves an American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza (IDK that's a thing) which is the most expensive pizza I could find on the website costs around $7 which is just baffling to me."
"Fireworks, I love them, but it's like $50 per second for the good ones."
"Yeah, I end up spending probably $300 each summer buying fountains and batteries and helicopters and cardboard tanks and sh*t--none of the big professional skyrockets. It's absurd, I'll be the first to admit."
"But it's fun!"
"Crazy expensive day. Guaranteed at least one relative will kick up a stink. Massive pressure to be The Happiest Day of Your Life. Everything doubles in cost if you say it's for a wedding (dress, suit, cake, venue) Just do the quick registry office paperwork, have a surprise party, and run away for a long honeymoon with the money you saved."
Roll of the DiceCard Game Poker GIFGiphy
"Gambling for sure."
"I live in a small town where a casino is the big attraction They've had numerous people crap and pee themselves because they didn't wanna get up from the slots because 'it's just about to pay out.'"
Gambling is the greatest way to lose money.
Addiction will take everything if you let it.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
"Best for mac and cheese."
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
"Fusilli because it's silly."
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.