The "it's not what it looks like" moment is a favorite movie trope for a reason. It happens - a lot. When it does, it can be one of the most embarrassing and hard to explain moments in a person's life. Take it from me. I got myself grounded from Mortal Kombat because I attempted to Sonya Blade somebody and ended up power-slamming their face into my crotch - just as my minister parents walked in the room.
That was more than half of my life ago and they still don't believe that there wasn't anything sexual going on and that Mortal Kombat is not, in fact, a video game full of sexual atrocities. It's ridiculously violent - and awesome - but it's nowhere near the mess they think it is and their minds will never be changed because of what they think they saw.
One Reddit user asked:
And now that I've read the responses, I feel better. I mean, it could be worse. I could be the banana panties guy. Here are some of my favorite moments, edited for language and clarity if needed. Have fun with all this secondhand cringe! Lord knows I did.
I used to take my kids to different playgrounds as they were growing up. Often times I'd be out there with them, chasing them, being the random monster/dragon/antagonist while they run away and then eventually turn around and chase me back. Inevitably since the rest of the parents were on their iPhones or doing anything but interacting with their kids, I'd end up with a collection who wanted to join in the fun.
It was all going well until they said they wanted to play "Minecraft"
So as a group of kids suddenly scatter from where I am standing yelling "Ah! Run away from the Creeper! Ahhh!" I look up to see a line of parents suddenly jostled back into consciousness with absolutely no friggin context whatsoever.
Consensual Hand Drying
It was my third day at my new office job. When I washed my hands my pants touched the counter top which was covered with water. Naturally I now look like I pissed myself and had a giant 6 by 6 soaked area around my crotch. I couldnt walk around with that so I thought to use the hand dryer. However, the hand dryer was the type that you stick your hands in rather under. So I line up and basically mount this hand dryer. I look at myself in the mirror and as I start thinking "this wont look good if..." and of course the CIO walks in before I could finish the thought and react. He looks at me and in deadpan voice says: "Do I need to call HR?"
to which I responded: "No, its consensual."
We had a good laugh about it and he never let me forget that moment!
I was 16 and my parents just left the house for a dinner out. I had to do laundry so I start right after they left the door to get it done as early as possible.
As I'm filling the machine I notice a stain on my shirt and so I put it with the rest of the clothes. I also look at my pants and decide to add them as well along with my socks and...fuck it my underwear as well.
So I'm butt naked and I start the machine. I rush to the stairs to get to my room and dress up and that's when the front door (which is right where the stairs are) opens and I freeze.
My dad comes in and sees me naked. We both arent moving a few second and then he laughs, grabs his wallet on the table and says : "So THAT'S what you are doing while we aren't here?". He then closes the door while giggling.
I'm there still in shock and red as a beet. I rush to dress and call my parents on my mother's cellphone to tell them it's not what they think as they are just laughing their butts off.
I used to work security/reception at my company, so I greeted everyone when they came in the door and made sure they were wearing their security badge. You could either wear your badge on a lanyard around your neck or on a retractable belt clip.
So I've been doing this job for like 2 years when I'm outside talking to some of the girls that work on the 2nd floor. One of them just flat out asks why I always check out women when they come in to visit.
Turns out, there was a lot of talk about how I was "looking women up and down" when they came through the door. Well, I was looking everyone up and down. I would look at their chest first and if there was no badge there, my eyes would move to their belt. It was kind of my job and stuff.
I will preface this by saying a couple of weeks prior to this, my wife had bought some frilly underwear on clearance sale, and a couple of bananas to eat on the way to work. I was chilling in the car at the store while she went in when I smelled nasty over-ripe bananas. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the bag that had been forgotten back there. I take the underwear out of the bag and tie the old banana up dog poo style. No big deal, right?
For whatever reason, my brain goes I wonder if these brand new underwear now reek of old squishy banana? and I put them to my nose and take a big whiff- right as a sweet old lady pulls into the parking spot in front of our car. She looks at me, panties pressed into my nose inhaling deeply, her eyes go wide with shock, and visibly shaking, she pulls back out of the spot and drives away. Literally leaves. Shopping trip cancelled.
Holding A Bat, Whispering About Murder
My boyfriend and I had a fight and both went to bed grumpily (we were housemates and had separate bedrooms). In the middle of the night I heard a LOUD thump in the living room area of the house. I grabbed my baseball bat and went through the whole house with the bat and the lights on. Every closet, every cupboard, etc. Nothing was out of order and the doors were locked. I was still spooked and running high on adrenaline.
It was about 4:30 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 so I just gave up on going back to sleep before that. I debated what to do for the hour and a half and decided to go to IHOP since it's open 24h where I live. As I was about to leave I realized that if I left my sleeping boyfriend in the house and the murderer WAS actually still there and killed him I would feel extremely guilty. So I went to wake him up just enough to warn him before I left for IHOP.
He woke up to me leaning over his bed, holding a bat, and whispering about murder. He almost cried.
Following Her Home
I was driving back home from a friend's house at around 1AM. This car cut me off on the on ramp, and I honked at them. I then turned back up the music, and pretty much drove home on autopilot, but when I got off the freeway at my exit, I realized that the same car that cut me off was in front of me. After that, I got kind of curious, because it had been about 30 minutes since the incident, and we'd changed freeways twice already. I then got a little bit worried that they'd think I was following them home, but I didn't think too much of it--until the car started going up the same side streets I did.
Eventually, I realized that my 16-year old neighbor who just learned how to drive cut me off, and she and her friends were probably now petrified that some lunatic was following them home. I guess she'd called her parents in the meantime because she pulled into her driveway and the house lights were all lit up, and her dad (a huge guy) was standing outside with a baseball bat. I then pulled into my own garage and apologized for scaring them and it was all chill after that.
Everything was all good afterwards—we all laughed it off.
Butt Dial And Speakerphone
My boyfriend and I were jumping on the trampoline together years ago, just bouncing around like a couple of kids, laughing our butts off. It was fun! He accidentally butt dialed his parents, who speakerphoned our laughing, creaking springs, and gasping to a car load of people. They were all mortified. We were able to set it straight later, but OOF.
Sorry mom and dad.
This is one of my moms absolute favorite stories to tell:
My partner and I were in a kind of long distance relationship at this point (high schoolers living 40mins apart) and they would occasionally drive up after school to come see me
On this particular day my mom came home from work and was concerned with the lack of sound.
I hear her calling my name as she comes closer, she eventually gets to my closed bedroom door not wanting to see what I'm sure every parent would expect by this point
She swings it open and finds my partner and I...
...putting together our brand new Millennium Falcon (full size for action figures) that we had just purchased from Toys R us
My dog kept stepping on the pieces and messing things up in his dopiness so we closed the door
After that she never worried about us being alone.
Honestly think this might be the moment where my mom decided she wanted to adopt my partner.
Sometimes, I'm not sure who she loves more.
Btw - My partner and I got married this year and we still have that Millennium Falcon.
I, a male, am in a dive bar in college that had black lights above the bar for whatever reason. I'm buying a girl a drink and when I go to pull my wallet out, see that the black light has highlighted a significant outline of white liquid around the webbing of my hand between my thumb and index finger. Right when I'm laughing about "what that probably looks like", she informs me it's all around my mouth too. Apparently the peroxide in baking soda toothpaste leaves an otherwise invisible trace that comes out under blacklight.
"For Catching Children..."
I had a pile of stuff in the trunk of my car, including a golf club. The club got tangled in the elastic netting that came with the car and with the way everything was jumbled up, it looked like an enormous butterfly net.
So after a Scouts meeting, I'm standing outside with my son when he looks in the back of the car and shouts:
"Why do you have a big net in the boot of your car? Is it for catching children?"
The other adults stared. Erm...
David - But Not THAT David
Hanging out at home with hubby. It's important to note that hubby is only the 2nd person I have dated. The first was a man named David who was incredibly abusive. My husband knows the story, it's ugly. David's name is not one we speak pleasantly around here.
Anyway, I asked my husband to "throw me a plum". He thought he'd be funny and literally throw it. It was the last one and still in the produce bag. He spun the bag around a few spins like he was picking up momentum to really pelt me. Bag split, plum shot off at a random angle and smashed on the ceiling! We were laughing hysterically. Until!!! It came into my head that this small projectile in a sheath was somewhat like the slingshot they show David using to slay Goliath. So I blurt "Nice shot, David!"
Hubs didn't catch the biblical slingshot reference and thought I accidentally called him my ex's name. I eventually convinced him it was a biblical reference, but that being the only time in my whole life I've ever made one (lifelong atheist who finds the mere thought of religion depressing) it did not seem like a likely story.
Sorry, Sunshine! It really, honestly WAS just a biblical reference.
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my gay male friend at his house after school. He had one of those sugar gliders for a pet. They are really fast. We were holding her and she randomly jumps out of my friend's hands, falls on the floor, runs toward me, and crawls up my leg under my skirt.
Without thinking my friend sticks his hands up my skirt to grab her. I wasn't offended, I wanted the squirrel off my butt. At that exact second his mom walks in the room while my friend has his hand up my skirt. Though my friend was gay, he was not out of the closet out the time.
Dog Food Face
My little brother had to be around 10 at the time. I was in the process of making chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen while my family was in the dining room.(kitchen and dinning room were connected) Anyway, while I was baking my little sister (7) at the time went to feed the dog. My brother being the chocolate fiend he is, thought my little sister brought chocolate chips to the dining table. He got so exited and knocked the dog food cup out of her hand, and it went everywhere on the floor. Without a second to spare he flew to the ground shoveling it in his face. Nope. Not chocolate.
To this day, the look of pure betrayal and horror in his face makes me laugh.
A Pill Gun
So, my coworker(we will call him G), and I were talking about his cat.
(For those wondering G is a male and I'm a female.)
His cat was refusing to take some pills that she needed after a procedure. I asked G if he tried to hide the pills in her food bowl or a treat. He said it didn't work. He then told me what did work...
"I have to put it in her mouth and force her to swallow it by massaging her throat."
Of course he said it right as another co-worker was walking into the room. The moment those words were spoken the other coworker didn't say a word - he just turned around and left the room. Leaving G blushing and me laughing really hard. We had to explain to the guy what we were actually talking about.
The other coworker said "OH! Thank God..." and then he recommended a pill gun to solve the issue.
Awkward yet hilarious.
Lincoln Said ItGiphy
One time in school I had to give a speech to present the pro-confederate flag side, and I was making a point about how the conflict in the Civil War wasn't as simple as the Union trying to get rid of slavery. So I started to read off the Abraham Lincoln quotes supporting slavery and how "I do not want to make jurors or voters of Negroes".
But just before I started reading the quote, the vice-principal walked in to monitor the class. He's black.
So I kind of panicked and had to immediately follow the quote with (a redundant) "as said by Abraham Lincoln, which is what he believed at the time, and is totally not what I or anyone today believes, but was just from a different time."
(Fortunately, he addressed the class and had nice things to say about my speech.)
Did I Confess?
When I was a kid (7? 8?), I was walking home from school and the button on my jeans straight up just popped open. Not sure how that happened. I was trying to fix it, when this older lady walked by. She said something to me, but I was so focused on fixing my pants that I didn't hear what she said. I responded with the generic "yeah" thing.
Then I realized she wasn't look at me, she was looking at the wall behind me. I glanced back, and realized that someone (a dog?) had peed on the wall. I just ran away, taking a long way around to get home, because she very possibly asked me if I had peed on the wall, and I told her yes.
"Hide Your Stuff!"
When my niece was 5 I took her to the movies and we snuck in candy and snacks. I played around with her to make her feel like it was some secret operation and we had fun smuggling it into the theater. We made it a game.The employees at the theater had black uniforms, and I told my niece if you see the people dressed in black hide the candy or we'll be kicked out. Movie starts and I forget all about it.
Then an employee walks into the theater in the middle of the movie. My niece sees him and yells (because of course she can't say this quietly):
"Uncle! A black man! Hide your stuff!"
I just sank into my chair praying the movie would end soon.
My family moved to America when i was around 12 and bought a business we still run. A few years later I started helping out with the business after school. One day dad was telling me how there is this lady that walks by every day who from behind looks exactly like my grandma, whom we dearly missed since we had not been able to go back home.
A few days later I'm working in the back and i hear dad calling me, so i run out and he's pointing out the lady to me who really does look exactly like grandma. I thought nothing of it until we both walked back in and everyone was giving us weird looks. Then i realized to everyone else it looked like dad called his teenage son to come check out the ass of a septuagenarian.
When I was in high school, I accidentally spilled a bottle of grandma's pills, as I tried to put them back into the bottle my mother just walked into the kitchen to see my hand full of pills and my other hand holding the bottle. While she stared at me with wide eyes all I could say was "this isn't what it looks like" because she probably thought I was going to drug myself with them.
IBS And Maintenance
I was in dorms for work at a remote mine. The rooms were set up with one bathroom between every two bedrooms. They kindly tried to put a night shifter with a day shifter so your neighbor would be gone while you slept, nice and quiet.
So there's me and my IBS doing what we do as I get ready for work one evening. Somehow the damn toilet got clogged with a bunch of diarrhea in it. I had work very soon, and my bathroom-buddy was probably just getting off the bus to come "home". Time was of the essence.
I checked everywhere for a plunger, well, only options were the laundry room, and flag a cleaner down to ask them to check their locked storage room. No plunger. I phone maintenance with maybe ten minutes to get across the compound to my bus... they tell me they don't loan plungers, clogs must be dealt with by maintenance staff only. UGH!!! And of course that person was on break for another half hour.
I ended up needing to leave for work. My efforts to fix the situation had taken up all my time and I didn't even get a minute to leave an apology note.
So she thought I left things like that as a prank or something. I came home to a note raging at me for being "sick and twisted" and it was not funny to do that to her and she'd been tired from a long shift, so cruel of me yadda yadda yadda.
I left her a note back explaining it was not cruelty by me just by fate, she understood and retracted her rage, I apologized again and again.
The reason I didn't have to kill myself is that the schedule and dorm layout meant we never actually laid eyes on each other. She never knew my name, face or even voice. THANK GOODNESS!
Not An Affair
I spend a lot of time with a man who lost his wife. I am married., my husband travels for work. He and I all over social media together. He's very good looking. He is also in a relationship with a man now. People ask questions, but that is his story to tell.
Getting Explicit With Auntie
I was about 12 years old and went to see my auntie with my mom. As we pull up outside her house, she is outside in the driveway. I see her, and me being a cool hip kid but a peace sign up- but by my mouth and at the same time stuck my tongue out- making a very explicit gesture that innocent little me had no idea about. I can still remember the look on her face...
How about the time I looked like I was beating up a 9 year old when I was 14 at camp?
We'd had some night game, like night tag or hide and seek or something and our cabin of 6-7 campers in the 9-14 age range were hopped up on sugar treats and excited. One of the smaller campers crawled into his sleeping bag quickly and what started as verbally teasing him turning into a tickling and poking contest making him squirm and infectious laughter got to all of us.
I was one of the tallest and the oldest kid in the cabin and grabbed a broom we used to sweep the floor and poked him with that too. Winds up I poked him in the throat and he was freaking out and started crying right as the cabin counselor guy showed up. Dude walked into a cabin of laughing kids with the smallest one in his sleeping bag gagging and freaking out. He flipped out on me, screaming about hurting the kids.
Gramps And The BongGiphy
Out on a hunting trip, two friends hopped in their truck to smoke weed out of a bong. They were trying to be discreet by smoking the bong in the middle seat. Little did they know, One friend's grandpa was watching suspiciously from afar.
When they went inside, a conversation began and culminated with grandpa's, "You can't tell me you weren't blowin' him!" He saw one friends head go back (to let out smoke), while the other friend ripped the bong.
They tried to explain, and he may have believed them, telling them they were smoking the devil's lettuce so that must have been why it looked that way.
I still love to pull out the "You can't tell me you weren't blowing him" in grandpa's voice as a reminder. RIP gramps.
Exactly What It Looks Like
When I was about 15 or 16 or so, I saw one of those things that was like, "The distance between the tip of your pinkie and thumb is the same as..." So I got a ruler and measured, and sure enough whatever it was happened to be correct. Regardless, leaving the ruler at the computer for your mom to notice was somewhat of a bad idea.
Watching Requiem for a Dream alone in my room. Dad walks in an sees the "ass to ass" scene on my monitor. He just walks out. I felt so powerless. One of the most powerful, terrible, and sad moments in cinema is then interpreted by my dad as me watching porn.
At a family wedding and I take my little nephew was who around 4 years old to the toilet.
He finishes and then has trouble getting his zipper back up.
Cue my father-in-law walking in on us, with me on my knees tugging at my nephew's zipper as he is crying his eyes out!
Thanks, Terror Squad
This was mid 2000s back in high school. Lean back by the Terror Squad was hot and everyone got into it and always leaned back to some degree when the chorus came on.
I was with two of my boys and one of them has the song playing from his phone with his hand curved around the speaker of the phone to make it sound louder. We got really into it and so as we're walking in the hallway, we hold each others shoulders and take a step back every time Fat Joe says 'now lean back'. Halfway through getting passed the longest corridor in the building, one of us looks behind and what followed was one the most awkward experiences in my life. Walking right behind us, or should i say limping, was the Economics teacher, let's call him Mr. Rabbi. Mr. Rabbi had one foot shorter than the other and as a result, a limp in his walk, identical to our lean back dance move.
We sped walk the rest of the corridor and booked it to the nearest exit as soon as we turned the corner.
How you approach life's many trials and tribulations can say a lot about who you are. However, many of us don't necessarily learn some lessons so easily.
Life is complicated. It's messy. Few, if any things, go according to plan. On top of that, sometimes the way we handle our relationships or our obligations might not be the most healthy one.
You live, you learn... or so the saying goes.
People shared their stories after Redditor ryanblumenow asked the online community,
"What did you learn at great personal cost?"
"I broke three..."
"Never trust a ladder set up by someone else. I broke three of my lumbar vertebrae. Thankfully I recovered fully, but damn was that scary. I also bit through my lower lip. I have a nice scar as a memento."
This is terrifying. Glad you're still alive–that you healed is miraculous!
"Even if you work your hardest..."
"Even if you work your hardest, do everything right, and are a great employee… you may still be seen as expendable."
This is true. Your company will never be loyal to you. Don't bend over backwards. Do your job–don't sell your soul.
"That you need to be careful..."
"That you need to be careful what you put up with as it teaches people how to treat you. I lost a lot of 'friends' once I started to set boundaries."
This is very true. I can relate: I definitely lost a few so-called "friends" the second I began standing up for myself.
"This goes for all relationships..."
"Don't listen to what people say, but what they do. This goes for all relationships, both professional and personal."
Amen to that. It's a cliche, but actions absolutely do speak louder than words.
"Family can be just as toxic..."
"Family can be just as toxic for you as anyone else. Sometimes it's best to cut them out."
Ain't that the truth.
Are we trading toxic family stories now?
"If someone gets upset..."
"If someone gets upset at you for trying to establish boundaries with them, it's not you being mean or unreasonable, it's them not caring about your happiness."
This is spot on. Don't trust people who violate your boundaries. Your gut won't lie to you, not about this.
"You can't convince them."
"You cannot, even subtly, force someone to love you. You can't convince them. They either do or they don't, and it's on you to decide what to do with that unchangeable position in mind."
I feel like many people go through their 20s without learning this.
Not that I know anything about this... or anything like that.
"Just because you try to be a good friend..."
"That people aren't always your friend. Gaslighting is real. Just because you try to be a good person doesn't mean good things will happen to you."
Very true. Be very careful about what you put out there. Not everyone has good intentions, though this is not in anyway meant to imply that the world is terrible.
It isn't. Just be judicious.
"You can accomplish..."
"You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Doesn't mean you should. Everything will cost more than you anticipate in ways you can't imagine."
That's a poetic way to put it! Spot on. Everything costs something, even your success.
"That you don't have to run off and get married. A marriage that only lasted one year cost me more than $10K. Life is not a race and you don't need to be married by a certain point or at all for that matter."
"Be patient, make yourself available, gravitate to those who understand you the most."
Awful. It sounds like you have peace of mind now, however, which is priceless.
Don't be so hard on yourself, by the way. We all learn at our own pace.
Here's a tip before we go: Your education is never complete. Life always something to teach you, so just accept it, be open to it, and go in grace.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Is there anyone who loved high school?
High school is a disaster. That is true for like... 95% of us.
it's like being branded. "I survived high school because of this!!"
The past is never really past, is it? What did you see?
Redditor HelloProxima wanted to go back and visit the teenage years, by asking:
"What is the most f**ked up thing that happened in your high school?"
I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy
"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The QuadAcds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy
"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Good God!Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
"We had a huge fight happen in the girls bathroom."
"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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You're hungry one night, so you order food. You select your items, go to place your order, and see that the order has an extra $15 in fees tacked on to it, and that's not even including tip!
Believe it or not, there was a time before delivery services. You can very easily just call the restaurant you want and place the order directly. It's pretty easy–and you and the restaurant get to avoid the middle man.
But delivery services have become so ubiquitous over the years that many of us just put up with it. They're legitimate services but honestly, when you see the final price tag, how could you not feel like you've been totally scammed?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor AnnFaulskabek asked the online community,
"What is a legitimate product / service that still feels like a scam?"
"At first I didn't mind..."
"YouTube Premium. At first I didn’t mind the single ad you could skip but now it’s up to two long ads you can’t skip with the mid-roll ads thrown in. They keep upping the ante to force you to subscribe to Premium."
Given the increasingly high number of ads on YouTube, it's pretty astounding that I haven't signed up for Premium yet.
"When you work out..."
"Overdraft fees. When you work out the effective interest rates on overdraft fees, you find there’s a lot of hurting people paying interest that would make a loan shark blush."
Yep, what's up with those?
They're actually a thing. Just try explaining to someone who doesn't know how you get punished for having no money so you have to pay more money and see how they react.
"Phones that no longer..."
"Phones that no longer come with Micro SD card slots so you have to pay for cloud storage if you need more."
One of the most frustrating things. It was so much easier before!
"In the U.S..."
"In the U.S. Having to do my own taxes or pay a company to do my taxes even though the IRS already has all the relevant information."
Well, let's be clear: They don't have everything. What happens if you have items you need to deduct? They definitely don't know how much you've donated to charity.
"There used to be restrictions..."
"Credit/interest rates. There used to be restrictions on who gets a loan and what the rates could be, but private enterprise I guess."
When it comes to having no credit or bad credit, I would choose no credit every single time.
"Insanely good prices..."
"Humble Bundle. Insanely good prices and I can select where my payment goes, so I could donate 100% to the charity. It feels like it's too good to be true. I'm still blown away by it."
Never heard of this before and now I will be on the prowl. Going to do some reading and see if it lives up to the hype.
"Enjoy your entry level job..."
"Oh, you graduated cum laude? Enjoy your entry level job that barely covers the interest on your monthly payment."
Hahahaha don't make me cry.
"THE ABSURDITY OF THE BATTERY LIFE."
"Dell laptops. THE ABSURDITY OF THE BATTERY LIFE."
"Like how the f**k are people are still buying them is beyond me but like, I have one for school and that motherf**ker dies an hour after taking it off the charger. And I don’t even keep background tabs running."
"The whole Dell company is literally a f**king scam."
I think I forget that Dell laptops exist until I see comments like these.
I'll go back to being ignorant, thanks.
"The 15 different streaming services..."
"The 15 different streaming services that you have to sign up for to watch the one good exclusive show on each one instead of just being able to watch them all in one place."
Streaming could have put an end to piracy but then they got so greedy.
"You can't really get away from them."
"My electric company also providing water, natural gas, landline phone and internet."
"You can't really get away from them. Even if you live in an area of town where you can get AT&T or Suddenlink, you still have to pay the electric company for everything else."
Say what! They really have a perfect monopoly going on, don't they?
Well, well, well... there are many things we could add to the list, to be fair.
Like health insurance in the United States. What's up with that? It would be comical if it wasn't so evil.
What do you think is missing from this list? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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When you really think about it, childhood is actually just rife with trauma.
The things we see as children, are things we are never going to escape. And nobody fully prepares you for it.
Every child born should be assigned a therapist along with a pediatrician.
Life is going to bombard us with memories we'll never unsee, because the actions of humans are random and as a child we're forced to watch.
The mark is left. So let's hear about some trauma.
Redditor Banjoman653 wanted to hear from everybody willing to share some childhood tales, by asking:
"What’s a really f**ked up thing you’ve witnessed as a kid but didn’t realise it was until you were older?"
I've seen too much. I wish I could go back, just so I could look away. But, here I am. And you?
"My dad grabbing a knife while punishing my brother. Dad had him sit at the kitchen table and ordered him to put his hands on the table. Dad then put the knife edge on one of my brother's thumbs and threatened to cut his thumbs off. Can't remember what it was about, but this caused me to fear my father from a very young age. My brother was only around 9 or 10 years old at the time." ~ toothbelt
"When I was 8, I took care of my father in home who was dying of AIDS. Mom wasn’t in the picture. None of the adult family wanted to be near him and help out because they all said it was contagious (this was the 90’s and HIV ignorance was still at an all time high.) I changed his diapers, showered him, fed him, gave him his pills. Until he died. As a kid, that was my 'normal.' I didn’t realize it at the time, but it really f**ked me up."
"He was my hero and the strongest man alive to me, and seeing him in such a vulnerable state and reduced to nothing really messed up my brain. It just kinda numbed me. Literally did not/could not cry for 12 whole years after that. I still struggle nowadays to 'feel what I’m supposed to feel' in certain situations, but I’ve gotten a lot better and am definitely more in touch with my emotions." ~ Celery-Bandit
"My mother used to drive home from the hospital she worked at high as hell from the morphine she had stolen and then crawl into my bed and pass out. I used to scream at my dad to come get her out of my room so I could finish my homework and go to sleep for school the next day. It’s a miracle the woman didn’t kill anyone on her drives home." ~ emotionallyallergic
"My dad and I were at an airshow in Toronto in the 90s. We watched this huge plane go up and do a maneuver, and then go into a dive, going nose first into the lake, with a massive splash. My dad was a photographer and had managed to capture the seconds before and after impact, and told me we had to go right away (he booked it to the newspaper with the film roll to get it developed). I said I wanted to watch the rest of the show, because I thought it had just dropped a bomb and flown off. Didn't realize that I had just witnessed 7 people die." ~ nothing_fits
"When I was in elementary school, I became close friends with a family that had children similar in age to me. I only ever saw them at school with their mom and my dad. The oldest daughter and son couldn't stand me and I never knew why, so I would cry and talk to my dad about it and he would reassure me that they did in fact like me."
"During this time, we had a landline at the house and I happened to pick it up one day and heard my dad on the other line with the mom of that family. He was talking about giving her roses and spending time with her. When I asked my dad who that was, because it clearly wasn't my mom, he disconnected all the landlines in the house."
"Turns out, he was absolutely cheating on my mom with this woman and I was inadvertently involved by becoming their friends. Was a pretty sh*t situation in the end." ~ InsomniacCats
"My friend had a lock on the outside of her bedroom door. I thought it was weird but didn't really think much about it. It turned out her parents would literally lock her in her room for long periods of time as punishment." ~ katiegaga87
That's a lot. I was hoping for a few light hearted moments, but as always, life is darker than usual.
"My older brother overdosing, always thought it was normal. Throughout my life (I’m 20) I’ve saved him from dying maybe 3 times I can remember. Always put him in his side, never called the cops. All of my brothers and sister have seen it happen. If he were to die tomorrow I don’t think I could cry, as I’ve cried to many times over his death and… he ended up living. He’s still alive, currently in a sober home." ~ srcapp-
"Lived in a townhouse. In my bedroom at night I would hear the kids next door scream and scream and cry. My parents called the police once, but the man claimed he was 'playing with his kids' and didn't let them in & apparently the police couldn't do anything. Found out when I was older that the man had later tried to kill the whole family, kids, baby included, with a pair of scissors." ~ hokusmouse
"I saw a small child being smothered under a sort of beanbag/giant soft-play thing? facedown in a indoor play area sandpit, other very small children were all playing and jumping on it without realising someone was under it myself included. I was about 5 and the rest of the children were the same age or younger."
After some time an adult noticed and pulled him out unconscious, a women was screaming presumably the mother and i remember the kid being worked on by a doctor or paramedic I’m guessing. I remember my dad asking me very calmly if I saw what happened."
"I’m actually too afraid to bring this up with my parents because i have no idea if the kid died or not or how that might have affected them all these years, as it’s never been brought up. for whatever reason it’s been on my mind lately." ~ doublespiral
"My parents fighting. Whoever was losing would say to me 'I’m going to run away and kill/drown myself if mummy/daddy don’t stop shouting. I can’t take it anymore' and then proceed to leave the house. They’re both still alive and in hindsight I don’t know if they ever meant what they said but now I’m about to have a child of my own I can’t EVER imagine doing that to a child, let alone my own child." ~ allhailsmoothie
The lesson learned? Everyone get a therapist!
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