People Share Their Most Embarrassing Stories Of Getting A Driver's License
There are over 222,000,000 licensed driver's in the United States, but at some point every one of them was just a learner. Automobiles of all shapes and sizes are complicated pieces of machinery. Learning to master one doesn't happen over night. Sometimes the process can get a little dicey.
Reddit user TeeWrecksArms asked "DMV employees and driving instructors who've gone out on new driver tests. What are your best stories?"
Driving teachers and driving learners shared their adventures behind the wheel.
Not an employee or instructor but when I was 15 I took driver's ed at my high school. The instructor they had looked almost like a thinner version of Dr. Phil, but with glasses and thick Chicago accent. I remember one day when he was taking us out to do practice driving he made us stop by the dry cleaners so he could pick something up. I asked other people who had him before and apparently it was pretty common for him to use students to help him run errands which I thought was hilarious.
At 16 getting my first license and the woman in front of me was my girlfriend's mom. I go out for the driving test right after her. I back out of the parking spot and there she is failing to back her car out of the angled parking spot. We wait patiently and the tester looks at me and says I'm glad I'm not in that car. She failed.
Red Means Go
When I took my preliminary driving test (was taking a course to get credit for my learners permit) I was driving with the instructor in the passenger seat and another student in the back seat. We are coming up on a red light and the instructor tells me "keep going through this red light and you'll turn left after that". So I ran the red light. Still got my permit too somehow.
Was the observer for a girl who barely knew how to drive. I think her parents sent her there to learn to drive not fine tune it. She couldn't put the car in gear, she pumped the breaks to stop, she forgot cars had momentum and coasted and she almost hit a car in a parking lot when a car backed up ahead of her, she sped on the highway and not just a little bit, but 10 over, and this was Virginia so speeding is kind of a big deal here, and she when doing her 3 point turn she didn't know you had to turn the wheel, somehow though after 2 weeks she passed the test.
I drove my ditsy girlfriend to the DMV to take her driving test when we were in high school. He came out to start the exam and stood in front of her car to check the blinkers before setting off. I drove her there in her mom's old Volvo and was watching from the waiting room.
He told her to turn on the blinkers, and she was trying, flipping the lever up and down, but they wouldn't work. So he said "Honey, you have to turn on the key to turn on the lights to use the blinkers"
She turned on the key too far, without her foot on the clutch, and the car jumped forward and hit him hard in the knees and knocked him down.
He just got up, and shook his head, and walked back inside. Didn't even pick up his clipboard. I just went back out and drove her home.
Bit of Excitement
Not a DMV employee but I passed my road test on a closed course and as I'm walking inside an older gentleman blows a stop sign and hits a van with a kid and an instructor. Continued to go forward and went over the curb into the grass. Must've thought he slammed his brakes but accelerated instead. Instructor side was hit and the kid was okay, just freaked out. The parent ran over and was bewildered (more worried about the car and insurance than their own kid it looked like) The people in the DMV as I'm paying the fee for my license said the instructor had an injured arm and the old guy who hit him was there to renew his license. Needless to say I doubt he's getting his license. Probably the one and only time I'll ever see such lively DMV employees. I do not envy what they deal with.
First and Last
I took my first road test with my driving instructor that taught me how to drive and a man who worked for the DMV and that day just happened to be his first day and I was his first student. First of all the test starts off horribly, 30 seconds into it I back out of my parking spot and almost back straight into a car not paying attention and zipping through the parking lot. At this point I think the new guy has completely given up on me even though this incident wasn't even my fault. I parallel park the way I was taught, nope not good enough for him. I stop at the stop sign for 3 seconds instead 5, more points coming off. Finally I pull back into a parking spot and of course am not parked straight enough for his liking so he proceeds to get out of the car and fail me. My driving instructor who taught me proceeds to get out of the car and lay into this guy. They get into a screaming match in the parking lot. After this screaming match the DMV driving instructor proceeds to walk up to the office and quit on the spot.
As a 15 year old driving student, on my first road training session, I pulled right out into traffic pretty swiftly and scared my instructor so badly his legs flew up into the air. He didn't know I had been driving for a while already and probably thought I was going to kill us both.
The one that caused my friend at the DMV to retire: he was doing a driver's test for a teenage girl and they went through a road work section with a narrow road because the shoulders were blocked for construction.
The girl couldn't keep the car steady and was driving way too fast and lost control, taking the car off the road into the construction area where they crashed into a backhoe tractor. The shovel went through the windshield and cracked his skull open.
He ended up with severe memory problems and some brain damage and had to retire. He's since recovered very well. This was over 20 years ago and he's fine now, but has some memory problems still.
I was in a driving school where you went out and drove twice, one time for 4 hours and one time for 2, the 2nd time being your test. The school itself is all ex cops and when you drive it's 1 on 1. My parents didn't take me out driving at all, so all of my experience was wrapped up in that first 4 hour, nerve wracking drive. I had just been on the freeway in heavy traffic and I had attempted to merge when a huge pickup blared it's horn at me. I swerved back into my lane but was clearly shook. We exited the freeway and pulled over. We got out of the car, I was crying, shaken. My 60 year old teacher felt so bad, he said, "Do you need a hug?" I nodded and he hugged me. It was so simple but so necessary. I still think about it every once in a while 6 years later; my parents weren't the best at that time in my life so that bit of care was awesome.
Not an instructor but the girl taking the test before me failed because she forgot to turn on the car. She was parked on a slight angle and I'm guessing she took the car's parking break off. Not sure. All he said was that she managed to crash into the next row of cars without turning it on.
Them's the Brakes
Sorta funny story, when I took my driving test I was nervous as anyone would be. So I start the test no problem following all instructions and traffic laws. No problem until the tester told me to parallel park. The side of the road was completely empty so I essentially hit the jackpot. I pull along side the sidewalk and park the car and reach for the parking break and instantly realize that I'm f'd!
I had left the brake on for the entire test, so I pretend to lift up the brake and the guy doesn't notice! Passed my test with no deductions.
Not me but a friend was in the DMV for 30 years so he has some good ones.
One time, he was testing this Indian lady who was in her 40s. She was doing not so great, so he decided she wasn't going to pass and asked her to take the next right so they could turn around in a parking lot.
The next right was after a large and busy rail yard with several train track crossings. The woman reached the first crossing, stopped, looked both ways, then proceeded to turn right onto the rail road tracks.
He immediately slammed the emergency brake and yelled at her to get out. He jumped into the drivers seat and reversed as quick as he could as a train began approaching and got them off the tracks.
They got back to the DMV and the lady asked him with a bright smile, "Did I pass?"
I fell asleep during driving lessons. I hit the curb and woke up and the instructor just thought I had a problem keeping the car straight. I was so tired because I was doing a program in school that required me to be at my work placement by like 5:30am and it was after school at this point.
Objects In Mirror
Currently a driving instructor at a DMV in Hartford, CT. During license tests I've experienced collisions with other vehicles, collisions with stationary objects, vehicles not starting due to mechanical failure, and keys locked inside of the vehicle. Luckily nothing catastrophic or life-threatening yet, though there's still plenty of time for that before retirement.
My favorite story was a license test with a 16-year-old girl who was very confident for the majority of her test. We pulled into a side street and I asked her to perform a three-point turn. Halfway through the maneuver, she froze and her face went pale as a ghost. She muttered "Uhhh..." a few times as she stared at her rearview mirror. I turned around to see for myself what was bothering her. It was a homeless person exposing himself in broad daylight.
As a 15-year-old female, I was doing my practice driving with my male mid-50's instructor. Understand that I learned on (and was more comfortable driving) a stick shift, but we were in the driving school's car, which was an automatic. We were driving along, having a nice conversation, when I signaled to make a right turn, and attempted to downshift only to grab my instructor's thigh... I was MORTALLY embarrassed! I was completely innocent at that time, I'd only ever been kissed, so this was extra embarrassing for me. He jumped, I let out a startled screech, and I had to pull over because I got the nervous giggles!
My dad's friend managed to run over his examiner during his test.
Back In the 60s my dad's friend was on his exam for his motorbike license. The instructor told him to drive up and down the street and he (the instructor) would step out in front of the bike so my dad's friend could perform an emergency stop.
He didn't stop in time.
My examiner fell asleep. I was supposed to merge onto the freeway, go down a couple exits, and then exit. Well 22 miles later, I was afraid to wake him up. I tried coughing loud, clearing my throat, nothing.
He just woke up and said "that's good son, let's exit here and turn around on the service road." So I did, and we drove back to the office, not saying a damn word.
Blue Lights in the Rear View
Not an instructor, but I got pulled over (by the police) on my driving test. The examiner said that was a first.
I was approaching a "4-way stop" and stopped before a cop car that was approaching on the right. Since I stopped first I proceeded, very confidently, forward. Except it wasn't a 4-way stop- there was no stop sign on their side. The cop almost hit me and then, of course, turned around and pulled me over. When he realized I was on my driving test he was kinda speechless, and you could tell he felt bad for me. This was like right after we made it out of the parking lot of the DMV too.
In case you were wondering, that is an automatic failure!
When I took my driving test, they did them two at a time. I had finished my test, and I was sitting in the back seat while this girl was doing her test.
We were in the right lane on a busy two-lane street approaching an intersection, and instructor told her, "Turn here." For some reason instead of turning right, she turned left through three lanes of traffic, causing people to slam on their brakes.
Then the instructor just says, "Oh, I meant for you to turn right" completely ignoring the fact that she just cut off three lanes of traffic with an illegal left turn. She passed.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.