There are things in life that are frustrating, or scary, or annoying. But every once in a while, something so ridiculous happens that the only valid response is "Nope, not dealing with this."
Reddit user Phunkill asked:
Way To Go!
About a year before I got sober, I was working as a manager of a cell phone kiosk in a mall -- You know the type:
>It's a Tuesday afternoon in the early 2000s, so you head to the mall because you've just worn a hole through your last pair of underwear, but you park on the wrong side of the mall. During your lazy saunter to the Macy's Men's department store, you're minding your own business, wondering if you should call out from third shift because you haven't had a day off in eight days
>You're startled out of autopilot.
>>Me: **What would you change about your cell phone?**
>You: *(Walking faster)* "N-nothing.."
>>Me: **Well what if I told you I could get you into a color-screen phone with a camera with no money down today? What if you had the best phone on the market, and a lower bill with V-Wireless?**
>You: *(almost running)* N-no, that's okay, my phone has snake and that's all I need
>>Me: **Don't you want the cell phone that makes you attractive to the opposite (or same) sex and runs entirely on the tears of the Brute at the end of Halo 2?**
>You: Already gone.
>>Me, thinking: (Sh*t. I'm going to get fired if I don't sell any phones this week. I wonder what the problem is.)
Anyway, it's black Friday 2003, and we're working a dying mall just WAITING to be bulldozed, and I got my regional manager breathing down my neck every 20 minutes about why we haven't made any sales on black friday. It turned out that the combination of coming down from a several-weeks methamphetamine binge, combined with the pressure applied on me by corporate and the lack of money in my pocket because of drugs and also no sales was just enough for me to take the key off my ring, slam it on the folding-down counter/swinging door thing, tell my employees I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore, and just walked.
That wasn't the job for me; it wasn't the job for anybody. They paid me on the same scale as floor sales and never told me what my duties were as manager, so I was winging it the whole time, much to the chagrin of my employees. Last I heard, the company shut down because their sales model was too predatory.
I don't know, maybe my black friday induced fury was the mouth of the funnel leading to my sobriety, because it was my last "using" job, and I got entirely sober a little more than a year later.
Had been telling my boss that there was an error on the website that I cannot fix because I don't have the permissions. I mention this several times to him. It would take him one phone call to get it straightened out, btw. The owner notices this error. Not only calls me out in front of the whole department about not caring about my job and taking advantage of his kindness, but also makes it a point to tell me I should thank my boss for having my back. It was the last straw placed on a huge pile of awfulness. I quit the next day.
And that's why you tell your boss through email/ticketing system only. I don't do sh*t without "paper" trail.
Well, That Backfired
I was 15 working at a gas station. I wasn't scheduled to work that day and my sister was in town. I hadn't seen her for about a year. Boss called and said someone called in sick and he needs me to come in to work. In the past I had been very accommodating as it was about a block from my house and easy for me to get there fast. This time I told him I couldn't come in that day because of my sister being in from out of town. I'll always remember this. He says "what's more important? Your sister or your job." F*ck this, I'm out.
Maine Is Creepy AF
My friends and I were hiking in a secluded area in Maine one summer, just messing around and making a lot of noise. We stumbled upon what looked like an abandoned campsite, trash everywhere, and a deskchair set on some rocks. We took a lot of the trash and the chair with us. We where wheeling the chair down the path when we saw a stream off to the left, and wandered over to it. We spent probably 5 minutes looking at the stream. When we returned to the path the chair was gone. We hadn't heard anything. We left very quickly.
I once took a job as a grain hauling trucker. Unfortunately I picked the worst time of year to do it, which was December when everyone is trying to get their harvest in to the terminal before year end. This December was also a cold one (I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and it was -30C to -40C for most of the 3 weeks this job lasted). The Peterbilt they had me in could throw little enough heat that I could feel my feet or see through the windshield, but not both. My last run went as follows:
Dispatch gave me directions that took me an extra 3 hours to get where I was going. In addition to it being a much longer route, they sent me down a dead end road with a super B trailer (2 medium-to-long trailers instead of one long one) and I had to drive into a snow filled field to turn around because my other option was to back 2 connected trailers up 8km. I've never sworn so much in my life as I barely managed to not be stuck in a field in the middle of nowhere.
When I finally did get to the terminal to unload it was so late that I was the next semi in line when they closed. I was actively fighting sleep due to being cold all day and pulling a crazy long drive and being more than a bit angry. I had to drop trailer and come back the next day.
All told I put in over 14 hours for what should have been a 8 hour haul. We got paid by the loaded km, not by hour or total km, so I got paid for 4 hours. I realized that right when the terminal closed. That was the point at which I actually voiced "F*ck this, I'm out!" despite having nobody to hear me. Just an affirmation to myself. The next morning I told them I wasn't returning to work and that I have no problem putting in 14hrs but not if I'm getting paid for 4, and not in a vehicle that won't throw heat to the cab when it's -40 outside.
I've since become an RN, I'm much happier. Especially since I get paid for the hours I put in.
TLDR; Got paid for 4 hrs when I put in 14, while freezing cold, mostly due to getting sh*tty directions. Moved on with my life after saying "F*ck this, I'm out!"
A Good Distinction To Make
I scuba dive a lot in Key Largo where reef sharks are common (reef sharks are small for sharks and mostly scavengers - not aggressive.) One day I lucked into a naturally occurring baited shark dive.
There were 7 sharks in a holding pattern waiting for a snapper which was bitten and hiding. I was excitedly in the middle, getting some nice pictures.
I noticed a couple of them acting a bit squirrely, but wasn't too fussed about it.
As one of the larger ones took its patterned route past me, it suddenly did a 180 and charged me.
Man, it's easy to forget how fast and powerful they are when they want to be! I held up my camera rig to fend it off, but it made a hard turn at the last moment. Only its pectoral fin actually touched.
I was very much "F*ck this, I'm out" at that point and went to watch from the top of the reef with other divers.
I learned a couple of things though: How to better distinguish between reef sharks and small bull sharks and that just being present around potential food source is considered provoking them.
Cutco. A friend and I went to go interview for a summer "job" that some random guy invited us to on our college campus. Five minutes in we realized something about this interview was off (who does group interviews anyways)? But we were too nonconfrontational to do anything about it. Ten minutes after that, after the "we're not a pyramid scheme, we're just, uh...vertical marketing!" spiel, someone got up and left, and we followed. F*ck MLMs.
They Ain't Lion
I was checking my trail camera for my masters thesis. Where I had them there was nothing too big just coyotes and bobcats. There was always rumors of a mountain lion but not much credit to them. Well I was walking to one of my trail cameras that was placed under a big oak. As I walk, I hear the branches snap and a dead deer falls from the tree and hits the ground. I decided to stop my fieldwork and head on home.
My other story was again me checking cameras but this time around I knew mountain lions were around(if only they ever show up on camera it would be great). I was checking one of them as it was getting dark when I heard a lion call from my left, followed by a lion responding on my right. I was on a ravine so it's hard to judge distance and it didn't sound very close but I decided to promptly noped out of there.
Don't Ignore Your Spidey Sense
While in college a friend and I were invited by a classmate to a party.
"We're going to talk about friendships and relationships"
Okay, cool. Also, there was free food. As soon as we show up the vibe is kind of weird--people acting too excited to see us. There was a lot we realized in hindsight, such as:
They tried to separate my friend and I, like someone was assigned to us.
During a conversation with this guy, allll of my subconscious alarm bells are pinging but I couldn't put my finger on it.
Whenever your brain gives you warnings, it's best to listen to them. Think of all of the hundreds of thousands of conversations you've had in life; if one is really weird it's probably for a reason. And then I recognized what he was doing, it was a form of soft interrogation technique (if you want to read on how to counter this, the Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense is a good primer).
My friend and I prearranged a signal, and when the guy I was talking to gave his dad a hand and arm signal across the room, I'm like "f*ck this--I'm out".
I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and while I was pulling out my phone, buddy texts me, "let's get the f*ck out of here"
As I come back downstairs, everyone is congregating into some kind of meeting. I put my acting hat on and panicky-explained to my friend we had to leave because my dog was throwing up. We got the f*ck out.
My buddy and I compared notes (interestingly enough, he's an interrogator for the .gov now) and they tried to do the same thing.
We didn't see the mutual guy for a week. Then he kept trying to call my friend. Finally, my buddy picks up the phone and says, "Look--someone that your 'party' was using soft interrogation techniques on NerdHere, so we got the f*ck out"
Dude's response? No denial, no outrage, just"No one was supposed to be talking to NerdHerd like that that night"
Yeaaaaaaah. It was a cult.
TL;DR Anytime someone invites you somewhere under false pretenses, GTFO. Anytime your lizard brain starts going all red alert, GTFO.
Inhumane Working Conditions
When I was a kid I worked at a yard and garden/craft store as a carry out. During the summer it was all about loading up customers cars with sod, river stones, soil, plants and paving stones. In the winter it was Christmas trees.
First year was great my boss was amazing and the staff all generally got a long.
Second year he transferred out and his replacement was horrible. Sales started to dip, she joked about laying people off. Freezing because you've been loading Christmas trees outside for 4 hours in -30C? Tough sh*t. Sick? To bad you came in you're staying. Want some water because you're loading cars in 30 degree heat? Nope!
Just a generally mean person. It got to the point where I was the only full time daytime carryout left. Then one day I finish a shift feeling like I'd been kicked in the nuts. The pain just gets worse and doesn't stop. So I go and see my doctor. Turns out I'd torn my groin muscle. He gives me a week off and gives me a scrip for 2 weeks of light duties when I get back.
Go in give my boss the scrip she screams at me for causing her extra work and tells me to get out of her sight. Get back after the week and schools out so we have tonnes of staff. I figure I'll be doing light duties, nope. Back to the loading area lifting paving stones. Didn't bother punching out and as the loading area for customers is right up front, I just walk out and keep going.
The company as a whole went bankrupt a few years later. Actually ended up working with someone who happened to be a manager at another location and knew the situation at my old store. Turns out my former boss was fired after almost 60 people quit between June and October of that year.
Screw The List
In 2011 or so when companies taking advantage of the desperation of the unemployed was in full swing (the recession was on pretty hard at that time) I found myself working for a temp agency that supplied day laborers. We had to come in every day as early as possible (they opened at 5) and get your name on The List. If they got a call in from someone who needed temp workers, they called out names on the list. if you were there, you got the job for the day.
they'd only call you out ONCE though. Say you were outside having a cig, or going to the bathroom- tough sh*t. Furthermore, inside this place were chairs bolted to the ground facing a TV playing a safety training video on loop *all day.*
So, one day, I actually managed to land a job! Yay!
Other side of the city, I had to drive myself. Okay fine. I get there. We spooled *power cables* onto giant pallets for 8 f*cking hours.
End of the day. They'll send us a check.
A week later, I get it. It was minimum wage, *and then* the company took *their fee out afterwards.** So, you ended up getting paid, essentially, two dollars below miniumum wage.
That's when I said "f*ck this, I'm out."
About two years later, I got something in the mail about a class action lawsuit against them. I can't remember what it detailed exactly, but of course I signed in on it, because f*ck them.
**Six years later**, (like literally a few months ago) I finally got the payout. $8.
"Real Jobs" Are Overrated
In highschool I was a nanny for this family during the day. Then the mom would drop me off at Cold Stone - my first "real job". The assistant manager who was always there was a completely horrid person. Looking back she had to have been under 24 at the time. She was rude, went in back smoked pot on job, invited guys to come and hang with her and they were always kinda sketchy. She had it out for me bc I was the "first time employee who was trying to do a great job!". I remember dreading going to work and getting that pit in my stomach because i was so terrified of her. She would always threaten to cut my hours or just do things to screw me over.
One day, the mom was late to get me and drop me off at work. She came in with me bc she knew i was scared of this girl and would get yelled at. She went up and apologized for me, said it was completely her fault, I nanny her kids, she got stuck in traffic, it wont happen again, but please dont take it out on me. This girl loses her mind!! she calls the mom a bitch to her face told her to F off and went on some rant that i dont remember because i was in utter shock lol The mom looked at me and said "you done here? I think you're done here." Turns to this crazy girl and goes "you are the rudest person ive ever met. I'm sorry for how insecure you must be to act like this. She quits!" She grabbed my arm and we stormed out! I was SHOCKED and horrified... at the time I thought she had ruined my career lol by quitting my first job for me. Looking back i think its hysterical and wish I had a recording of it.
So Not Worth It
Was in Phoenix on vacation and went out with my cousin. She takes me to a party on the third floor of an apartment. Probably 30 people.
Some girl shows up and there is some drama with some other guys not at the party. They say they're coming over to the party and there is going to be a fight.
Two of the guys at the party go to their cars, grab guns and an ammo box full of ammo. There's only one way out of this apartment and I'm not going to be there if this goes down.
Look at my cousin, "I don't know any of these mother f*ckers and I'm heading home tomorrow, can we get the f*ck outta here?"
Treat Your Employees Fairly
I got denied a 2 or 3 percent merit increase (cost of living/inflation increase) at my company despite them being a leader in the market and making money hand over fist. I was in a meeting with my boss's boss and he got an email about the merit increase for one of my peers. He was already making about 75% more money than I was, and got an increase. I immediately changed my status on linkedin and started getting bombarded with opportunities. I start a new job on Jan 2nd.
Breaks Are Important
Worked as a bartender/waiter in a busy city centre pub. We had been getting slammed all morning, shortstaffed probably. It was hell. Just as we had caught up I took 20 seconds to grab a drink and chat to one of my favourite regulars. Just then, my new area manager walked in, spotted me, and berated me for standing around doing nothing. I tried to explain how busy it had been, but he didn't care. I got my first disciplinary in 4 years off the back of it. I was pissed, and handed my notice in the next day.
Don't Pick Fights You Can't Win
Two of my old drunk friends tried picking a fight with some guys wearing Gracies gym t-shirts. I told them it's not a good idea to pick fights with people. They told me to stop being a p*ssy.
I said later, and left.
A week later they called me a sell-out and a p*ssy, and how I should have been in that emergency room next to them.
More context, this was about 10 years ago. I've always been an MMA fan, they were not. I knew what bjj is, they did not. This is before Gracie was as popular as it is now. I'm not really friends with them anymore, just "Facebook friends"
Don't Pee In The Woods
A couple of months ago I was at oak point park in Dallas Texas late evening and I thought I heard a kitty mewing in the woods so I went into the woods to find it just in case it was someone's pet. I got pretty close to where the sound was originating from and it stopped. I waited a couple of minutes and didn't hear anything and then I took a piss and was about to head back. While I was draining the lizard, I got a really horrible feeling and I noticed out of my peripheral vision some figure watching me from about twenty feet away in a clearing of dead fallen trees. I turned towards him and in the dim light I noticed he was at least half naked and very discheveled. He then meowed at me and I took off still pissing the opposite direction.
(I am ashamed. I'm sorry.)
Was hired to basically make a small bottle shop appear (actual owners lived out of state) did all the planning, hired all the contractors literally built the place from the ground up and had been managing it around 8 months with a small staff (around 6 employees) when I decided the workload was to much so stepped down from the managers position to just a regular cashier's job and one of my employees was promoted as manager. I interviewed, hired and trained this person from the start and on my first day as a cashier he handed me a written warning for a SINGLE bottle facing slightly off centre and then a second warning (next step = fired) for 'arguing' the first warning
Said f*ck it have fun running the place without me and went and slammed 6 tequila shots at the bar next door
When a co-worker violently punched a dent into a freezer when I told him to shut up, after months of him harassing me...
And I was reprimanded!
The director got a nice report after that, and he was fired two weeks later.
What was your worst "Nope, I'm out" moment?