Holding down a job is supposed to be easy, isn't it? How often are we stuck working a job we hate just to survive? Even if it's a job we enjoy, it just takes one 'oops' moment to bring everything tumbling down. Many times it's a genuine mistake and we get another chance, but we almost never get a third. Some of these are close calls, while others are definite fails. Hey, If we are going to go, why not go out with a bang?
Redditor u/SirApatosaurus asks:
A Million Dollar Mistake
I worked at Roche as a security guard for a while. One day I was walking the floor of the manufacturing area and was asked to accompany a guy to get a roll of Palladium. Palladium was used to make the test strips that go into blood glucose meters, its an insanely expensive metal and comes in rolls that cost (at the time) around $100,000 each.
I walked with him to get it and while he was getting the roll off the shelf something happened and three rolls fell into another shelf and a lot of rolls cascaded to the floor. This ruined them. The total damage was almost a million dollars. He wanted to leave right then and avoid the firing but I convinced him he might not get fired since it was an accident. He was gone the next day.
The Wendy's Approach To Tweets
An acquaintance once came close to getting fired when he forgot to switch his account and tweeted "Aussies are bloody cheats" from his company's account.
Reminds me of when someone at Chrysler forgot to switch accounts and tweeted on the official account "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the motor city yet no one here knows how to f*cking drive."
Taking the Wendy's approach to tweets.
Need A Lift?
I used to work at a lumber yard back in the late 80s. A guy that worked across the street kept parking in a spot on the property that was reserved for an elderly gentlemen who worked the gate and was with the company for 50 years. The guy was told dozens of times to not park there but kept doing it. One day the nephew of the old man lost it and took one of the heavy duty fork-lifts and picked the car up and moved (dumped actually) it across the street. We all sat there with our jaws open and the dude just parked the fork-lift, grabbed his lunch pail, shook hands with the foreman and walked out. No words were exchanged... he knew he was fired but didn't care.
Please Don't Google 'Pixelated Bukkake'
My coworker was drunk and playing cards against humanity and, inspired, tried to tweet "pixelated bukkake" but accidentally did it from the company account (which I ran but he had access to). People were sending us screenshots of it for days.
That Was Too Close.
My best friend and I worked together for years at a small sandwich shop. One day we were closing together and we were talking some mad shit about our manager. Just ripping into the guy. We said what we said, had our laugh as we finished ranting, and I mockingly turned around and said "oh, hey (manager's name)!!" As if he had been there listening to us the whole time.
From down the hall we hear "How'd you know I was here?! I just walked through the door!"
Cue us both sh!tting ourselves at how close we cut it.
Your Totally Screwdriver-ed.
I used to work in a warehouse right after high school. Not knowing how everything worked and it being my first real full time job I just did what I was told and tried my best to impress the bosses. One day in the packaging room someone had thrown a screw driver out of anger and it stuck into the drywall. Out of hilarity my manager bet the guy 2 gas station taquitos he couldn't do it again. This became a daily thing around lunch time. Everyone would gather around and throw screw drivers at the wall and whoever's didn't stick had to buy lunch. Well this was right over a $8,000 heat shrink machine. And guess who accidentally hit the control panel breaking the machine... well one day one of the owners came back looking for something specific and noticed the bludgeoned wall. Looks at all of us Owner : "so you guys have been throwing screw drivers at the wall?"
Me: hangs head "yes" Owner: "that's cool" walks away Never got fired. He was extremely pissed about the machine I had broke though. He ended up just buying a better one.
Caught Between A Lock And A Hard Place
Thought I lost a master key that worked at 6 locations (about 400 doors ) that would need re-keying ... 2 weeks into a new job ... someone took it off my desk to teach me a lesson about keeping it on my desk and not putting it in the key safe.
Lol, this happened to me during a school fundraiser when I was like 10.
My class was raising money for something or other, and we left the cash box unattended. The principal came by and nabbed it and we all freaked out. Later, when she told us she'd done it herself, she asked the class what we'd learned from the experience. I raised my hand and said "Don't leave money unattended because the principal might steal it?"
She was not amused.
When I was a kid, there was a van that used to come and pick us all up from school and take us to daycare. One day all the daycare kids loaded up onto the van and the driver told us that we weren't going to daycare. We were going to her house.
Apparently her 12 year old daughter had been told not to get on the school bus that day, but to get on the daycare van. She disobeyed and got on the school bus anyway. Her mom was pissed and wanted to meet the school bus at their house to catch her daughter.
So while she sat waiting for an hour for the bus to arrive with her daughter, we got to play on her trampoline in the backyard. While all of our parents were trying to figure out why our van hadn't ever gotten to the daycare.
She eventually loaded us up into the van with her daughter and drove us back to the daycare, where police were waiting and parents were crying. It was then that realization dawned on her face that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do. She lost her job that day.
Totally Forked Up
Happened at my last workplace. My colleague needed a specific washing machine for a customer. We had a pretty small warehouse for our stuff and it was around Christmas time, so you can imagine how much stuff we got in there on top of each other. Anyway, the washing machines were stacked up on top of each other and the one he needed was right at the edge of something that was similar to a pyramid. The gets the fork-lifter and he aims directly at it without thinking about moving the machines on top of it. As you can already imagine, the whole thing collapsed and he basically destroyed a bunch of washing machines, TV's and some other stuff. Our boss rushed in the warehouse and you could tell by the face of my colleague that it said: "I'm fired, right?"
Definitely Not Having It Your Way
Working at McDonalds as a teenager in the 80s. Our store was running something like a double cheeseburger special for 99 cents. Guy who has issues being bossed around at work so likes to abuse teenagers pulls up to the drive through starts bitching about he can get a 99 cent double cheese burger anywhere, hell he could go to Burger King, so why don't I give him a big mac for 99 cents? Now our store does run a 99 cent Big Mac special once a year. It is not that time, and us order takers can't change the price. So I explain our special right now is 99 cent double cheeseburgers, and I have no option to change the price. I do this as politely as my teenage self can, which I admit could be part of the problem.
This doesn't sit well for our working class hero, who doesn't like being told by a know-nothing, lazy teenager that he can't have it like he wants it. Again with the "I could go to Burger King" bitching. He wastes about 5 minutes of my time, letting the line backup in the drive thru. Which, of course, is his intent. When if finally dawns on him that I'm not going to ring him up for 99 cent Big Macs he get hopping mad, but eventually places an order.
He comes to the window, pays. As I hand him back his change, he, still hopping mad, bitching up a storm, and now profane, mentions again he "could have gone to fucking Burger King for 99 cent double cheeseburgers."
At this moment, I know I'm fired. Because I know what I want to say, and f*ck it I'm saying it. I smile as annoying as only teenagers can, look him straight in the eye, and say, "Well then, go to f*cking Burger King and stop wasting everyone's time." Then I slam the window shut and start taking the next order. He bellows like a wounded walrus, bangs on the window, shouting every profanity he can think of. I'm just smiling and taking the orders from the backup, not a care in the world. I'm a teenager. I can get a load of minimum wage paying fast food jobs like this. In fact, I'm already thinking of when I should go to the McDonald's across town to apply. Hell, they're nowhere near as busy as this location, and I have a friend trying to get me to quit and come there anyway. Knowing these are my last moments makes ignoring the furious asshole easy. Eventually, he moves to the 2nd window to get his food. He shouts for a manager because no "GODDAMNED LAZY TEENAGER IS GOING TO DISRESPECT HIM!" He bellows profanely at our manager for a few minutes before snatching his food and burning out the wheels to get out of there.
My manager walks over to me, here it comes, and looks at me with innocent eyes and says as sweetly as possible, "did you tell that nice customer to 'go to Burger King'?"
Me, proudly, "Yes I did."
Manager, with that same sweet voice, "Good boy." She then walks away as if the whole thing never happened.
From Hissy Fit To Generous Tip
When I graduated high school I got a job as a bellhop at a Marriott. The front desk would transfer all request for direction calls to our phone. First night there by myself and my phone rings, dude says he must be close because he's been driving on Route 78 for 2 hours.
I got confused where he was and turned him around...he drove back the wrong way for an hour before he realized I messed up.
He came in furious.
Storming over to the bellstand where I was standing.....he says Hi Paul, I'm looking for a moron ..that just gave me the most half-assed directions...he's incompetent and I need something done about this NOW!
Stunned silence...Paul? Why is he calling me Paul?
HOLY SH*T!......PAUL!!!!I totally forgot that because I was so new I had to borrow another bell mans name tag.
Sir, we'll handle this immediately. I took out a dry cleaning ticket and wrote myself up a "disciplinary form" and assured the person that Pantarus is on probation and would be fired immediately.
He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :)
Here's a little lesson on trickery
Honesty Is The Best Policy
I started my evening warehouse job right before thanksgiving. I needed this job too-it was a great blessing to get it. I was newly married (1 yr) and had a baby girl, we made hardly anything and this job was literally an answer to prayer.
After a few weeks I finally received my forklift certification. I was trying to turn in a tight spot and accidentally broke of the rear light housing off the forklift. Not wanting to hide it, I immediately told my coworkers and they said don't sweat it. Just tell the supervisor, you'll probably get your hand slapped but that's easy to replace. So I went to my supervisor to tell him.
He looked at me with a straight face and said, "you're fired." I just wanted to make sure he wasn't kidding (I had a sinking suspicion that he wasn't), so I asked if he was serious. He then said, "yes, a safety violation in your probation period." I started to walk away to the locker room-devastated. He called me back and said, "you're not fired, thanks for telling me."
That one hurt. But- I have been with the company now 8 years and worked my way into a corporate role!
One of the helpdesk team that worked for me was sending sexy texts to his wife Andrea, when he sent a very graphic, descriptive text explaining exactly what he was going to do to her when he got home. Unfortunately, he sent it to Andrew, one of our biggest clients - Andrew's name was next to Andrea's in this guy's contacts on his phone. He came rushing in to my office the second he'd sent it and I had to ring Andrew to limit the damage. Andrew was fine about it, he said he thought my guy seemed 'really friendly'!
EDIT: This happened in 2000ish when the Nokia 3310 was around. No smartphones or anything like that.
Thanks, Uncle Sam
My first day of my first job I rolled a Silverado off a cliff that had under a thousand miles on the odo. I figured I would just go turn in all my stuff and start looking for a new job but my boss was incredibly worried that I was okay, told me not to even worry about the truck and personally took me to the ER to get checked out even though I insisted I was perfectly fine. It was a government contract and Uncle Sam picked up the bill for everything and I worked there for another 16 months.
He Hit Me First!
My first job was with Honey Baked Ham. For giggles, I thought it'd be funny to answer the phone and say, "Thank you for calling HBH where our meat is always tender and moist!" There was a brief moment of silence and then I heard my manager on the other end say, "Excuse me?!"
Worked at a Day care in college. Had twin boys in my class that were very rambunctious. We had a football that I would throw to the kids a lot (especially the boys) because they seemed to really enjoy it. This was the chain of events on my last day.
Twin one steps really close to me and holds his arm back like he's going to chunk the ball at me point blank. I said, "Don't throw that at me." so he of course does and runs off. I picked the ball up and threw it at him and as the ball was in mid air he turns around and the ball hits him right between the legs. He literally drops to his knees and screams. The teacher in the room next to me knew it was an accident and takes him inside to get him some water and butter him up. Twin two approaches, "YOU HIT MY BROTHER" he goes to throw the ball at me as hard as he can and I put my foot up to kick it and I end up kicking him right in the nuts... He drops to the ground and screams. At this very moment the after school director walks out with the previous Twin and now sees the second one on the ground holding his crotch. She says, "OMG you hit another one?!" and all i could think to say was, "He hit me first!" I knew right then I was done.
Be it to a foreign country on the other side of the world, or merely a town a few miles north or south of you, there is always a slightly uneasy feeling of being in a new place.
Sometimes, however, you don't only suffer from homesickness upon arriving, but find yourself genuinely scared.
Perhaps you don't find yourself particularly welcome by the residents, or there are no people to be seen for miles around.
Either way, there are places all over the world where not long after arriving, the only thing on the minds of visitors was to get out of there as fast as they could.
Redditor 8-tentacles was curious to learn the places fellow Reddit users would never set foot in again under any circumstances, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest town/city you’ve been to, and why?"
"I ended up driving through this tiny town in the middle of Nevada that I assume used to be a mining town."
"It looked like a steady paycheck hadn't been seen in this town for 20 years, the houses were all dilapidated, and the locals looked just as worn out."
"Bullet holes and burn marks could be seen on pretty much every building."
"The only reason I drove through the town instead of just sticking to the main road was to top up on gas, but I couldn't find anything, not even a small convenience store."
"It must've been hell for those folks considering the closest town with an actual store and gas was around 70 miles away."
"I took a look via Google Earth, at some of the towns people mentioned and I found it!"
'Definitely not a place I'd want to go back to."
"Everyone talks about Gary, IN, but there is a town over the border in Illinois called Harvey, IL."
"I can't put my finger on exactly what makes it worse, but being there felt like I was on the moon."- theredditforwork
El Alto, Bolivia
"El Alto Bolivia."
"This was 15 years ago at least."
"It's above the habitable zone, and locals were openly fighting in the streets."
"Good times."- ooo-ooo-oooyea
Somewhere in New Mexico...
"I stopped at some gas station out in the middle of where-the-f*ck, New Mexico, only to pee."
"Parking lot not even completely paved.'
"My SO stayed behind in the car, and our son, so I have no corroborating witnesses, but this was the weirdest f*cking place of business I ever stepped into."
"Some David Lynch level sh*t."
"First of all, this place was huge for no obvious reason."
"As far as I know, there wasn't a town nearby."
"I mean, it was isolated out in the desert."
"When I entered, there was a store in there, like a convenience store."
"I passed through that, and entered a hallway."
"There was a restaurant in there, completely empty."
"I follow the signs to the restroom, and go down this hall."
"It already feels a little creepy to me, and horrifyingly enough, I am navigating to the bathroom by the sound of someone who seems to be puking violently far off down the corridor."
"I could hear this sound echoing down this crazy hallway."
"The hallway has a bend in it, and I'm starting to wonder how f*cking big is this place?"
"I turn the corner, and there is one of those claw grabby machines where you try to pick up stuffed animals and other cheap sh*t, standing in the hall."
"A group of young boys are there, crowded around the machine."
"When I come around the corner, they all look up at me wordlessly, with no trace of joy or excitement or pleasure."
"They just play the game with inscrutable faces, silently, like cats surrounding a mouse."
"The hall continues, and so do I."
"Where the g*ddamned f*ck is the toilet.'
"This hallway is disturbingly long and I've been driving for two and a half days."
"I like my bathrooms simple and direct."
"This does not seem to be either of those things."
"I finally locate the can way the hell down there around another unnecessary corner, and upon entering, I can no longer hear whoever was retching and choking."
"It is now silent, but for the stench so bad it was nearly foggy in there."
"Somebody's feet under the sh*tter door."
"I get out quick."
"Walk past those seemingly soulless and bored boys."
" Why the hell is this hallway even here?"
"There are no doors, no other businesses, these kids are creeping me out in the sinister way they stare blankly at me as I pass."
"I am at a loss to even explain why those kids are here, this place is isolated AF, the hall has too many dark corners and bends in it with no apparent logic."
"It feels like an anxiety dream, it feels like reality itself is being manipulated like the little crane arm claw the one boy is guiding."
"It feels like I want to get out of here, get back outside, get in the car and put this whole place in my rearview mirror."
"So I do."
"I get in the car."
"'Do you feel better now?'"
"'No. Actually I don't'."
"'You shoulda seen this place'."- Alternative-Amoeba20
"Johannesburg, I grew up in a pretty rough city and would say it doesn’t compare to there, you can feel how tense the air is and you really need to pay attention to everything at all times."- Much_Committee_9355
"No, it's not a story of how dangerous it is, or how cops tell you to run red lights ."
"That happens, but it's mostly myths that get perpetuated by people who never visited."
"Gary is just desolate."
"It's almost post apocalyptic."
"Nature has overtaken many areas, and many of the 'vacant' houses you see are actually lived in by homeless people."
"What makes it scary isn't that it has dangerous people, it's that it can be incredibly quiet for a populous city."
"The few times I've had to go through Gary or IN Gary for something, I've always seen something that has frightened me."
"Like people staring at me through half boarded windows, people crawling out of bushes to ask for money, or people just straight up walking in front of your car trying to get you to slow down or stop."
"It's one of the few places in America that actually feels heavy to be in."
"I swear TV shows and movies are missing out on some of the easiest post apocalyptic scenery that they have ever had."- NewAccount971
"My mom and most of her family is from there and the town is just so damn sketchy."
"People being shot the next street over seems like a daily thing."
"My crazy Great Grandma lived in a 4 story house by herself , house had been in the family for a while, and she never locked the doors, just slept with a 9mm next to her bed."- SidtheGoat87
It's sad to hear about these places, and the hard times they've fallen under.
One hopes they might find a way to bounce back one day, and make people excited to visit, rather than avoid them at all costs.
Listen ... we're just gonna be totally honest with you.
The answer is "not much" IF loved ones can come too.
Reddit user benharper09 asked
"Americans of Reddit: What would it take for you to consider moving to Europe to live and work there?"
We don't know if this Reddit user is, like, gathering market data or just really wants to know why Americans don't leave - but here's what Reddit had to say.
Whole Squad Comes With
"My wife and I have discussed moving out of the States, but family keeps us rooted. Maybe when the parents have passed."
"I used to live in Louisiana and it’s a damn nightmare there but when me and my wife found out we were pregnant in 2020 I decided that by 2022 I wouldn’t be in Louisiana anymore raising my child and we let all our family know. There’s still FaceTime and social media and mailing gifts and all that."
"If they want to see him or us in person then they can travel here but I wasn’t staying in hell so he can be near his family. It’ll be better for him to be somewhere that’s not as damn horrible. I literally had fear for my life from about age 10-33 when I moved. Nothing was gonna make me stay and raise my kid with that same fear."
"This is a big one. Our entire support system is either here in town or within 2 hours away."
A Jobhomer simpson job GIFGiphy
"Um, job opportunities? Europe doesn't let you just up and live there if you want to."
"Here in Austria we are currently looking for a large number of people willing to work. Austria has around 150.000 job openings that cannot be filled because there aren't enough people."
"I doubt Americans will fill many, particularly with professional jobs requiring a college degree, as salaries tend to be far high over here."
"There are obviously a few exceptions, but as a general rule I don’t see it happening."
"There are pretty significant differences in cost of living too though, as many European countries have healthcare, childcare, you can actually live in many European cities without owning a car which as I understand it is realistically impossible in the US. Looking at salary v. salary is too simplistic to really compare the buying power you're left with after taxes."
Are We Even Wanted?
"Do they even want us?"
"Not if you are old without money. Or young without skills."
"Yeah. We do. I would welcome Americans with open arms. Though I understand it's hard for most Americans to move to Europe."
"I mean maybe you personally be okay with Americans moving to your country but your immigration laws are not so amenable."
"It's not that Americans don't consider or want to move to Europe as this question implies, we want to but it's not easy to do legally."
"We are strongly considering making the move. My biggest concern is the language barrier. I know some people may speak English as a second language but I wouldn’t want to presume."
Pros Over Cons
"Consider yes. Actually moving to one of the many countries with their pros, cons, and immigration policies is a whole other matter. This kind of thing works best for people who are very young, very rich, or have an employer involved."
"Not Europe, but I looked into Canada for a while and the pros and cons ended up convincing me it wasn't worth it for my family."
"For the last few years this has been an annual discussion my wife and I have. The pros just don’t outweigh the cons yet. Burning a huge amount of money to move away from family and friends to be an outsider in a place where seasonal depression would crush me and cold weather issues would be detrimental to my wife’s health issue along with a lower paying job with fewer prospects for advancement in a place where the cost of living is so much more expensive…it always seems like a good idea until we list out all these things."
"That and Canada seems to be experiencing the same issues the US is - albeit on a much quieter level (which to some degree is often more concerning. Trucker convey tried to happen here and it got egged out of existence with them all fleeing. In Canada everyone stood around and just let it exist. For days. And days.) - which make me realize I might be better off staying put. It also seems wrong for me to be the one to up and move when I am white, straight, and in a decent financial position. My vote, my voice, my donations all make a difference for marginal groups that are fighting. We have a lot of friends in the LGBTQ community and being the ones that got to leave would just kind of haunt me."
Language Barrierseason 10 friends GIFGiphy
"Aside from everything everyone has said is language. I took Spanish for 6 years and maybe understand 10%. I took German for a year and can say hello. I did duelingo polish everyday for six months and got nowhere."
"I've accepted its damn near impossible for me to learn a language. I could sell my house to have the money. I could leave my family. But job stability and language...those are my 2 big problems."
"This is the big one for me. You could go to Germany, Denmark, Norway as a tourist and just speak English. But working a day-to-day job, going to the supermarket and all that, you really need to speak the language to be productive, no matter how patient your co-workers are. (I’m a software engineer)"
"I will say, being in the country helps immensely. I can't imagine trying to learn a language while sitting in the US."
Once You Understand, It Makes It Hard
"My family are immigrants to the US so know how hard it is to start somewhere new. Also a lot of my family is in the US and I don’t want to miss my nieces and nephews growing up"
"I am a UK person living in America (have been here ages) - I know my wife and children dont like the way america is shifting, and through citizenship of me and my children I could easily get everyone legally into the UK."
"But... would my (college age) kids want to go there? Would we be able to make friends as near-retirees? Would the (inferior) material standard of living be too much of an adjustment and we would be shivering through the winter wondering what we did?"
"The favorable exchange rate makes it tempting too... but the reality is I think there would be some big personal drawbacks for my family"
"Being able to guarantee my safety as a practicing Jew."
"I love Europe, have loved my time in Europe, but the track record on that score .....is not great."
"I feel the same way as a black woman. I'm used to and can often reconize/avoid most of the racism in the US. But it's an entirely different beast in other countries. At my age, I don't think I have it in me to navigate those complexities."
"I can understand this. The problem about saying “moving to Europe” is that Europe has so many different cultures and attitudes depending on where you go."
"Here in the UK, racism certainly still exists but as a mixed race person, I’ve only experienced racism towards myself a handful of times and I personally believe the UK has some really good attitudes to race, especially in London probably the most diverse place in the world"
MoneyThe Simpsons Money GIFGiphy
"And help with the paperwork and whatnot. It’s not easy to immigrate to Europe, they’re not really interested in you just arriving."
"It can be expensive, long and frustrating but I just did this with a big family and pets about a year ago."
"Particularly thankful today to be "somewhere else" with my teens and twenties daughters."
"All the help you need is on Reddit. Lots of helpful people and resources."
"You start at the beginning, and learn learn learn. Just like any other thing you want to know. People figure it all out every day, and I am confident you could, too!"
Marketable Skill Or Marriage
"I have no marketable skills that eu countries want. And most don’t accept a lot of what I can do for a work visa. So my best bet to immigrate is marriage."
"Same. No one in Europe wants me, so the answer to OP's question is, "it would take any counry in the EU wanting me."
"Came here to say this. From the research I've done, the desirable skills for most countries are stem/healthcare/etc. and while it makes sense why that is, not everyone can just up and make a career change to one of those fields."
"That can be expensive or daunting even if you're just doing it to change jobs and stay in the US."
"This. If it was easy/possible for most Americans to move to Europe a lot more of us would be leaving. Even if you ignore the legal hurdles, more than half of Americans can’t afford a $1000 emergency (the most relevant statistic I could find), and probably couldn’t afford to move states let alone continents."
"I'm married to an eu citizen. My kids are eu citizens. But I still can't get residency until I'm at least conversationally fluent in the language."
AS Long As There Is No Dragonsstop motion horror GIFGiphy
"The castles look nice, but the threat if dragons keep me away."
"That's not much of a problem in Europe, my hometown only got destroyed 5 times by a dragon in 30 years."
"Did the smith and the cobbler survive the dragon strike? Or did the plague do them in?"
"So you have 'dragon season' like we have Hurricane season and Tornado season. Got it."
"We have sorted that problem in Wales and advertise the fact on our flag."
"The dragons you see coming. It's the rats that get you"
You've seen what Reddit has to say, so now it's your turn at the mic.
Americans, what would it take for YOU to head across the pond to live in Europe?
Men have this reputation for being simple, straightforward creatures.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Humans in general are not simple, straightforward creatures, but men are just ... baffling.
At least as far as the women of Reddit are concerned.
Reddit user Theunknowndud asked:
"Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?"
These fine femmes saw an opportunity to vent and ask questions and they absolutely ran with it.
Here's what they most wanted to know about.
Not Going To The Doctorperry cox whatever GIFGiphy
"Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them."
"Because if someone else makes appointment for me I feel obligated to go. But I don't care about myself enough to make the appointment myself and I just learn to live with whatever the problem is."
"It's like reading my own mind."
"I go because I'm told it is medically necessary by my wife. Otherwise I've been conditioned to determine whether it is financially necessary. In other words, if I'm not missing work because of it, it isn't necessary."
"I can't speak for everyone, but that is what I grew up with and I can't just "break" it, so I really do rely on my wife to force the issue, otherwise the cost factor pretty much overrules everything."
"I hate making appointments unless absolutely necessary. I don’t feel like going to a doctor is a necessity unless I’m not feeling well (I know I’m an idiot). As far as the dentist goes my wife made the appointment once and ever since then the receptionist makes my next appointment."
"You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away."
"Wall is permanent mess is temporary"
"I am a man. I don't know anything about painting so don't spot stuff like that but every time I visit someone I spot how they set up their router/WiFi and see why they might have problems with their WiFi connection as they just hide their stuff away instead of putting the box in a way the waves flow unobstructed. I work in IT."
"English is not my first language and I'm kinda tired but hope what I wrote makes sense."
"I learned some guys are like this because they were never raised to clean up after themselves. Their moms or caretakers always did the tidying for them, so they never learned to “see” mess and do anything about it."
"Compare this to something like wall painting which can be something that they spend a lot of time perfecting."
Breath, I Forgot To BreatheBreathe Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like 'are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?' And I just say 'nah I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up'."
"To be honest, I feel really blessed that I have someone who cares enough to ask if I'm OK. But yeh, seriously just forgot to breathe 😀"
"Dude it's so fukin true that i was taking a deep breath as i was reading ur comment."
"Are you ok? Anything you need to talk about?"
"My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours."
"My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months."
"It’s funny though. All the bullsh*t we talk about as guys slowly leaks a bunch of personal information over time. You can tell that one guy isn’t happy with his relationship, one guy is broke, one guy hates his job, one guy has a medical issue. You know all of this without really talking about it just because you spend quality time with them. Yet even we can’t recount it directly, we just know it in the moment when we are with the boys."
"Damn you really hit the nail on the head there."
- User Deleted
Going Into Screensaver Modelooking homer simpson GIFGiphy
"I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?"
"I actually do this a lot."
"Also when I’m in the shower I will just stand and think."
"I’m usually thinking how to solve a problem that will probably never occur."
"Lol. I love it. It’s particularly amusing to me when I’ll realize the room has fallen silent and I look up and he’s just there. Staring. My dad did it too."
"It's a way to trick your brain to go idle long enough to enter screensaver."
Power Saving mode
"My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything"
"There's a science museum where I live and there's a game you can play that uses brain waves. Basically it has a ball in the middle of the table that moves based on who has the least amount of brain activity at the time. And you want the ball to move away from you."
"You put on a head piece and when both players are ready, they touch the two pads on the table with you hands. I'm currently undefeated at a record of 14-0. Idk if I'm dumb or if I just shut everything off but life support lol"
"I found my husband on the couch in a dead silent house whistling tunelessly and playing bongos on his own tummy. When I asked what he's thinking about as he's doing that he says 'You know...nothin'. Like listening to the wind in your mind and sh*t. Everyone does it'."
"No Cowboy, we don't all do that. Y'all have some magic happening. Sounds nice."
One Of The Worlds Mysteries
"D*cks, the way they work is confusing. Like I’ve been told they only react when seeing or feeling something they like but I’ve also been told it will just decide to pop up randomly though the day with nothing."
"True, d*cks are doing what they want. Sometimes out of nowhere it just decides to stands up. Also, it can stand up when you're aroused (obviously) or when you're excited to see someone you haven't seen in a long time."
"Can confirm, i got a got a penis and im still confused how it works at times."
"Fun fact: The penis has pressure sensors, just touching it a bit or squeezing a bit can be enough to trigger an erection."
"Boners are strange. Morning wood is the result of overstimulation from a dream. We get nervous boners. We get sad boners. We get angry boners."
Forgive And Forgeti forgive you hug GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphy
"I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men."
"I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day."
"You get angry in the moment but then after you're removed from the situation you gotta let yourself cool off. Once you're thinking clearly you'll realize it wasn't that big a deal and get over it. Usually the start of a fight isn't that big it's the stuff that comes after that escalates it so you just recognize that both of you just human and do and say dumb things when your blood is up. Also I think women tend to plan more and then act and men will just act and plan on the fly so that leads to women believing slights or f**k ups are more intentional whereas men will just think of them as mistakes and forgive them."
"Coincidentally, just yesterday I was reminiscing on a friend and me getting into a fight. I hit him over the head with a glass bottle and he gave me a really clean two-piece in response."
"I laughed for a few minutes at how inconsequential that fight was after the fact, but how extreme it was looking back on it. We’re still thick as thieves to this day, lol"
"As a guy I feel we are a bit more black and white about forgiveness. I can easily forgive and forget most low-level things given time but I still have some grudges from over 10 years ago. I will likely never forgive them."
"Basically men work like traffic tickets. Small things are forgiven quickly. Bigger things take time. Some things are permanent."
"Some women feel more like an actual criminal record that never gets expunged."
"If someone is kind/self-aware/brave enough to apologize after they screw up, then it becomes easy to accept an apology from someone who understands they did something wrong and wishes that they hadn’t. Everyone makes mistakes, especially men, so forgiving and moving on is much more sensible than holding a grudge"
I Am OkayAnimated GIFGiphy
"When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this."
"A serious answer is because we don't want to panic and cause an issue"
"This is it right here. As soon as a calm guy starts panicking, everyone is panicking."
"Reminds me of when I accidentally cut a chunk of my finger so deeply that it hung off and you could see white underneath. I was internally freaking out and didn't even want to look at it, but did so I could assess the damage. I calmly asked my partner to bring me some bandages and alcohol and when I turned to look at her, she was pale and her lips were turning blue. She said 'Okay, but I need to sit down for a sec...'."
"I ended up walking all the way to the first aid box on the bottom floor of our apartment building while holding a cup under my finger to catch all the blood. I wasn't gonna try and walk it off, but I absolutely knew I couldn't panic for her and my sake!"
"TLDR: Someone will have to fix it, and panicking makes problems harder to fix."
"Exactly. Panicking doesn't help the situation. A clear head and talking to people on how to help solves way more."
They Jiggle Jiggle...
"How their crotch doesn't hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don't even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I'm wearing a bra or not"
"I gotta tell you, the penis doesn't weigh much."
"A boob weighs more, and you ladies have two of them."
"One testicle also hangs lower than the other for the specific purpose of not getting crushed when walking."
"I'm a guy and I didn't know this, lol. Neat."
"Our stuff is not as heavy as yours, so we don't feel the dangling effect much. Also, sometimes it hurts when we wear very tight/ short undies"
"A couple things: Breasts are considerably larger and heavier than testicles, so they bounce a lot more. I jump up and down a few times when I get out of the shower, so my towel doesn’t have to soak up quite so much water, and I do support my balls while I’m jumping. That was a mistake I made exactly once. But if you’re wearing briefs, and the bouncing isn’t as much, it’s not really an issue."
"You’ve had your breasts since puberty. We’ve had our penis since birth. We had to learn to walk with it. You had a decade to get used to walking a certain way before your build changed dramatically. We’ve had essentially the same hardware our entire lives."
... at this point I might be more confused than I was going into this article.
We've got mess-blind people, refusal to acknowledge injury as if denial is somehow a healing agent ... and a dude who forgets to breathe.
The land Down Under is one of the most highly anticipated travel destinations for tourists around the world. Australia has fascinating history, beautiful sights, great food, cool wildlife, and some pretty cool people.
But as with any travel destination, there's bound to be a certain degree of culture shock. Have a seat and listen up, because you're in for some surprises.
Australians shared some information with us after Redditor emchmu123 asked the online community,
"Australians of Reddit, what is something that the rest of the world would be surprised or shocked to hear about the country?"
"There are more wild camels..."
"There are more wild camels in Australia than the Middle East."
At some point, the British were just like, what other animals can we introduce to this place? And then they just did it.
"You can drive for 26 hours straight and still be in the same state. It's kinda unsettling, especially those really tiny mining towns that have like a gas station and just flat dryland for as far as you can see."
It's kind of crazy how desolate so much of the country is. You don't just go to the Outback, you prepare to go there.
"In some parts..."
"In some parts of the country you are closer to space than the nearest town."
That's another way to hammer this point home.
"While I was working..."
"While I was working in Whistler people were often shocked to hear we have ski resorts in Australia."
Wow, you guys have everything.
Why do you get all the good stuff?! What about the rest of us?!
"I've never had..."
"I’ve never had shrimp on the barbie - ever!"
Can you even call yourself Australian at this point? How can we possibly process this information as the ignorant tourists that we are?
"Every spring, Magpies take to swooping people who come near their nests. Not a secret really, but I don't know how widely known it is."
I love magpies. They are the mascot of chaos and destruction.
"That there are..."
"That there are vast areas of rainforest as well as the better-known desert areas."
And it's beautiful! You forgot to mention that it's incredibly beautiful.
"The last confirmed death..."
"Almost no one here dies to spiders or snakes. The last confirmed death from a spider bite was in 1979."
This is exactly the kind of propaganda a deadly Australian spider would spread.
"It was a conservative government..."
"It was a conservative government that introduced gun control laws."
A nice fact to whip out at dinner parties the next time someone says that only liberals are for reform.
"You're supposed to eat Vegemite toast with butter. Not just a thick slather of Vegemite like Nutella."
"You're supposed to eat Vegemite toast..."
Hang on a second!
They've certainly not told us everything, but take heed, fellow traveler, and report back. Australia is a hell of a place and you'll have plenty of stories to tell when you come back!